0:46 "Unfortunately, they waited in wayne" - me (2023) Jokes aside, thank you for your support throughout this year - making videos for this community has been incredibly rewarding! -Lukas (Also, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all of you!)
My mom recently passed away from complications with Alzheimer's. I don't know enough to say if this is a good or a bad idea, but I think that it is a valuable way to allow for a safety measure to stop confused people from wandering farther. Most of the time, the advice I was given was to just agree with my mom when she wanted to leave and go "somewhere" and try to deflect her with a delay. "Yes, we will go after we have this pudding." And then we will go after the dishes. And then we need to wash our hands. And isn't it time for your show? I'll just say that I didn't personally like this method because it felt like lying, but I also do you know what the solution is.
Good idea to keep people safe. Sadly, in my city a lady with dementia died of hypothermia a few weeks ago after leaving her care home and getting lost. She was found near a train station, so maybe looking for a way to get "home" ... a fake bus stop like this maybe could have saved her life.
What life? If you’re old and have dementia, there is no cure for you. Your perception of the world gets worse and worse and the disease itself will, in a few years’ time, kill you. There is no life ahead of a person in that situation, even if you save it.
In the case of our elderly house in my town here they don't need a fake bus station. The real train station is right next to the elderly home, they just have to walk over a small foot bridge (so they also don't get into traffic). And the nurses can see them walking past, because the entrance where the nurses look is the nearest door towards the station, so the elderly cannot sneak past them so easily.
@@acmenipponair i dont think that is very good, if the nurses see them, alright. but in citys nearby i heard it is a big problem with their dementia patients, that the train station is very close. in their case, the patients board the train and suddenly they are as many stops away as it takes for someone to notice them or for them to wander elsewhere. they cant tell people what caring centre they came from, they can't say what stop they boarded... its sad and really dangerous
My mother used to work in an aged care dementia facility. One day one of the patients wandered off and attended a local house auction. He was the highest bidder and bought the house, but the real estate agent was shattered when the care facility staff turned up to take him back again.
I had a friend whose father was diagnosed with dementia. As the condition worsened he was getting fed up with the random bouts of disorientation so he made a large sign and put it over his tv that read "YOU HAVE DEMENTIA! DON'T PANIC! CALM DOWN!" Worked wonders for him. Every time I found himself lost and confused he'd see the sign, sit down, call the nurses and watch tv. He would have loved those bus stops.
Damn, smart guy. I always wondered if that could work, but my guess is it only worked because he did it himself. Telling my grandma that she has dementia and that it's okay in the most calming way possible just ends in her getting extremely defensive and agitated. So I've learned to just not bring it up at all and play it off. She's always been a stubborn person though, so I wondered what it was like as someone who perhaps knows more about the disease or has previous experience with it. It unfortunately runs a bit in the family, so I really hope I don't get it when I'm older... 😅
What a man. I pray that we all stay as self-aware, responsible and honest with ourselves as he is in life events as devastating as this. God bless him!
@@th0rne_999I wonder ... you probably know... but I have heard about several strategies that have been found to be helpful in preventing the onset of dementia, like certain foods, exercising and such? I don't recall, really, but you could google that? Anyway: good luck to you!
wait, just to clear this up (grammar can be misleading), it was the dementia patient himself who made the sign, right? Or your friend/his son? Cause if he made it himself I can see how it worked, however having carers put up signs like this I imagine might not work so well as most patients would probably be in denial over their illness, right? Anyhow, good to know it helped!
@@th0rne_999 my great grandma had it she became agressive and started calling us names of my ancestors that no one but her was alive to remember she was 90+
As someone who has worked in nursing homes and dementia wards, that's a pretty amazing idea! Anyone criticizing it should go through the training, and work as a nursing assistant for a year so they can truly understand this unfortunate condition.
I've never had training, and as hard as it is to say, I'm sometimes glad my dad can't walk anymore. Just a week ago he got his hands on the control for his reclining chair and wound up raising it enough that he slipped out to the floor (thankfully no damage). He sometimes believes his house is in Mexico, as he worked for an international company that sent him there several times back in the late 90's early 2000s. If he could move on his own, how far would he get? Considering he's been living with an external catheter bag, it would get ripped out at the first snag.
Exactly what i was thinking, not one of the criticisms were concerned about the workers who have to bear the potential guilt of losing a patient because the patient decided to wander off to their old home..
@@_Jitterbug? No, but such criticisms do take into account how workers really ought to feel guilty about lying to the elderly. And they ought to feel guilty about keeping innocent people who want to leave trapped in their buildings. Actually, it reminds me a lot of psychiatric institutions, which are equally evil. I struggle to see why we can't all accept the basic ethical truth that holding people hostage for not thinking the way you do is wrong.
@@cneale9431 It isn't holding them hostage, they aren't in the right state of mind to be wandering the streets and it would be dangerous for them to do so. My grandad has Dementia and he's got lost a few times. I would rather him sit at a bus stop for a few minutes than him getting lost for hours and being scared when he doesn't know where he is or what's going on. The point you try to make is very small-minded and unreasonable.
This is an excellent idea. My grandmother, who died 45 years ago, was 'kept quiet' on a drug. I took some of it once to see what it did: for me it gave me racing thoughts but no ability to respond to the world outside my own head. I just sat and stared. It was horrible. Whether that was what my grandmother felt I do not know but the bus stop seems to to be preferable.
@@-Big_Bigwhat makes you think prescribed drugs are good for you? Did the doctors or patients research the side effects? Or just believe the fake pharma(farm). Most drugs for mental issues health are designed to control and repress the victim, not help and are also addictive. There us so much that modern medicine does not know, yet are happy to prescibe a pharma drug for it.
The sign says "Sonderfahrten" (special rides, as in 'off-schedule transportation only'). So the bus stop signage is pretty honest about the fact that no regular bus will ever come.
And funnily enough, the Dutch word 'zonder' means 'without' and is pronouced pretty much the same way as the German sonder, so yeah, 'without rides' seems accurate enough
@@rosalindpatrick5096 Interestingly, spoken and written languages are two different things. Chinese, for example, has two primary spoken languages (Mandarin and Cantonese with a ton of subdialects) but they are _written_ the same way. Some people can speak a language but can't read the written language while others can read/write a language but can't speak any of it. It's more of a Venn Diagram sort of situation where native speakers tend to also be able to read the written version of the language.
Those expert calling these measurements "cruel" and demand to "take them serious" obviously never had to deal with serious dementia patients on a daily basis. You cannot argue with them, if you tell them they're wrong about the things they believe are true, they become increasingly agitated and aggressive, violent even. The best thing one can do is to play along a bit and try to align their delusions with reality, calming them down and stalling them until they forget about it, that keeps them happy and manageable. You want happy patients, but you can't allow them to do whatever comes to their clouded mind, and you shouldn't resort to drugs all the time.
Yeah I'm sorry, I really can't "take serious" people who are that far gone mentally. I hate being dismissive of anyone, but dementia as a disease really does make people into someone that has to be managed. They have their moments of clarity certainly, but they wouldn't be in care if they didn't need it.
Yeah apply rational reasoning to people with dementia is a failure to understand that these are not simply people to be given what they want so they don't become disgruntled, they are literally not thinking rationally or in reality. Letting dementia patients walk out and having to track them down is a recipe for disaster.
I had the same problem with those “experts”. They talking about not taking the dementia patients seriously and lie to them. Like if they would not take a fool of us without dementia and lying to us. Sometimes the most honest people lie. Most of them only to be kind with the person they lied. It’s not the same when you lie because they don’t want take responsibility for something, but because you really do care for those you had to lie. And I also don’t think they ever had to look after with someone who has dementia. I work in a facility when old folks were running around and slapped my bottom to take charge and chase them… should I take them seriously and report to the police for sexually assaulting me? Or even tell to my employer that I no longer want to work there for my personal safety? That’s would be cruel! It was much nicer to play with them that we are kids and we are on a playground instead of arguing with them that this is a serious institution and they should behave… and I have endless stories and reasons why those experts are totally, totally wrong.
i wasn't sure if the "you cannot argue with them" paragraph was referring to the people with dementia or those people who oppose the idea. ironically it works for both.
My grandmother had terrible dementia and suffered horribly for many years. Something like this is the most compassionate option. In her case (she worked in a small town department store for many decades) they would have her fold towels for a "display" when she was convinced it was time to go back to work. The towels didn't need to be folded. In fact they were usually already folded but she'd fold them a different way. But what this did was calm her down and keep her from becoming angry, anxious or irritated. As horrible as it is to say it, at a certain point the mind is so damaged keeping track of objective reality is no longer an option. The best you can do is make them comfortable and keep them safe.
My dad had been a professor and at one point would babble endlessly. One of his helpers figured out she could get him to quiet down by saying "Thank you Professor xxx, that was a very interesting talk, shall we take a few questions now?"
The consensus in the UK at least now seems to be that there's no point correcting errors, as it just makes the patients distressed. So this seems like an excellent idea, both in terms of patient safety and comfort.
Thank you, I agree! I understand that a lot of people think that "lying to patients" is always going to be wrong, but you nailed it with your last sentence - this disease is progressive and degenerative, so keeping track of reality will become completely impossible after a certain point. If a patient keep trying to go and see their (deceased) parents, and the nurse keeps having to break the news that they have died, that keeps the patient in a state of grief - until they forget... and inevitably try to leave again. You shut them into a miserable cycle. I know it's just my opinion, but I completely agree with the more "modern" standard of care. It makes more sense. In early stages patients are lucid more often (and confusion can be addressed and corrected), but for later stages, redirection and reassurance keeps the patients happier. Don't make these people experience heartbreaking grief *every single day* by telling them their parents have died. Let them believe they've gone on holiday instead, soit would be better to visit next week.
@@Conniestitution its kinda a hard one to draw the line on so i get it. Its almost like they become children again, and its not immoral to lie to children if the point is to protect them. Though i get it if people disagree because also where is the line where they are now like a child? Obviously you can just kind of tell but even than they often go in and out of that state, sometimes being very lucid and then sometimes they completely lose their grip on reality. So i dont think theres any single way to handle it. But people saying we shouldnt take these measures at all is ridiculous. The alternative is basically putting them in jail. Even if it's just that plus extra steps, why not take thise extra steps if they mean more comfort. As far as im concerned anyways
Both my mother and maternal grandmother suffered from dementia. They lived with us and would often decide to pack up and "go home". It was frightening suddenly noticing they were gone and having to search the neighborhood for them. It was heart-wrenching having to bring them back kicking and screaming. These are a good idea.
My mom never made it back home, but there were very difficult times when she tried to get out of the bed &/or was convinced I wasn't helping her to leave. Now I'm wondering if it would have been helpful to just get her out of the room & have her "wait here" (wherever...doesn't really matter) then return a minute later with some sort of distraction. It would have gotten her to move around a bit, too. Trying to get her to do her PT...ugh.
@@budisutanto5987 Is that an actual thing that exists? When my mom was really bad off, she'd try to rip off a thing that was strapped onto her. So I'm wondering how a thing could be attached... Maybe a pocket in their socks? Hard to even notice if it's small...
@@echognomecal6742 The real thing is gps tracker capsule under the skin. Popular use in Japan (for elderly), Mexico & south America (to save kidnap victim). Thin smart watch, which is more in the category of smart band, is quiet affordable and available in many places including online shop, compared to underskin tracker.
There's actually one of those fake bus stops at an elderly home in my town. It's very bright and visible, but stands right in a small flower park. The staff there told me exactly what you told us in the video: the elderly don't realize the bus stop as fake, and spend some time being "out there", not feeling confined to the nursing home. It works wonders, as the staff can easily spot them there, and the elderly sometimes meet there and end up talking the day away, helping them feel less lonely.
Seeing an elderly man just standing and waiting at a phony bus stop actually puts a wonderful edge on a tough situation. My Dad became difficult by pulling out nose tubes for oxy, and IV hoses. Escaped a few times in his wheel chair. It is with the utmost tenderness that I say this condition ended quickly. Not just going on for years or tens of years. Thank you. Love you Dad, Mom.
We’ve had this sort of thing in Australia for quite some time now. In the early 2000s my elderly neighbour used to keep coming back “home” in a taxi, and couldn’t understand why the new owners were “squatting” in his house, and what did they do with all his stuff? They did the bus stop and taxi rank at his home. This was a gentle way to allow them outside to enjoy the sunshine and garden, instead of locking them up inside. Fast forward a generation and I’m going through this again with a family member. They too have a bus stop, but one of the maintenance crew drives around in a 6 seat golf cart, buckles them in with a seatbelt, and takes them on a lap of the grounds (it’s built on several acres). Most don’t even realise they’re back where they started when he tells them they are now “home.” There is discussion about building another stop so they can feel they’ve gone somewhere, like a shop or outing, but the funding is needed. People who claim this is cruel haven’t lived with someone who has severe dementia. They can do the same thing 10 times over, 30 seconds apart, and still think it’s the first time they’ve done it. I support these gentle safety measures as an alternative to locks and bars on windows.
There are actually facility “centers” built especially like a part of a city with apartments and the restaurants and stores at the ground level where the patients can walk to a different place inside the facility and it is all open inside. They cost money, and the caregivers also run those stores and restaurants. They are fantastic senior homes and fantastic places for dementia patients. The idea of a bus stop is an amazing implementation of giving the patients time to relax and take some air while thinking of other things to come and ultimately heading back inside as the bus might have just dropped them off at their front door :) I love the variations of placid and peaceful options!
This is correct and we actually have a dementia village. It has a fence around it, but inside the patients can move around to wherever they want in that moment. It is not the first of it's kind: near Amsterdam there is a big one.
Very true and honestly, I didn’t understand the repetition part until I volunteered at a local hospital when I was 14 and a lady pulled me aside and said they were keeping her hostage and not letting her bathe or use the restroom even though I’d just seen them bring her back from the restroom. But God damn, was she so smart; we played a music guessing game to incite memories of the patients’ and this lady drilled every single song within a half second. She had to be wheeled away so the other people could play 😂 I still think about that lady and wonder what happened. Hope she is ok
Honestly, I do understand how it could seem cruel to someone who has never gotten lost in their own mind. I have pills I need to take to not get confused. I remember being forcibly restrained as a child, even locked in a padded room once. That's the alternative. The bus stop doesn't hurt them, eventually they forget. If we were to be honest it's too good a metaphor for the entire facility. It's a peaceful and quiet place with no bus coming to take them away to a life that no longer exists for them.
@@ElfenohrI guess you have never lived anywhere where there is an hour or two hours between buses. We have that in urban areas in the UK. The worst thing they will do is ring the bus company but you would hope the staff would come out before then to talk to them. The bus company is undoubtedly in on this and will know what to do.
@@Elfenohr If that happens they wouldn't want the bus stop there. It doesn't really. It was a worry before the bustop was there - but they put it there to catch them before they wandered off and got lost and they found it calmed them down, they either forgot what they were doing or remembered why they were in a home once they calmed down, and they walked themselves back in.
@@ElfenohrYou cannot talk someone with dementia out of their "delusions" or make them non-disoriented by any sort of care. It is pointless and only distress them to have someone argue with them about things they cannot understand. They are permanently confused, and will be whether they are inside or at a bus stop or walking around the streets. If they believe they are waiting for something they are more likely to remain calm and not walk into traffic.
I think they should have a shuttle that can take them out for a short ride in the neighbourhood and then back home. They can be accompanied by their nurse so they can feel they have completed their journey.
@@hairyairey "Entschuldigen Sie, Herr ... Unser Bus ist leider verspätet, es herrscht ein absolutes Verkehrschaos in Düsseldorf". That's not even a lie, as it's the normal case in most times.
This is a brilliant idea. Most dementia patients don't continue to be upset for very long, and their thoughts move in another direction. These chances for them to take a break while they "wait for a bus" is a perfect way to let them calm down and for their attention focus to change. One friend's father kept trying to "go home" and he was clearly no longer able to live on his own. He got angry when my friend tried to mention a care home. Her father's dementia caused him to be very forgetful and have a short attention span. My friend's husband took him for an overnight visit with a relative. While gone, my friend moved most of his things into an apartment in a care home. When her father came back, he was taken directly to his new apartment. Because all of his familiar things were there, if he even noticed, he never got upset or mentioned anything. He lived the rest of his life in the care home and enjoyed the many activities that he was able to manage. I'm guessing the people calling this "cruel" have no direct experience with dementia patients.
My pop moved into a care facility that’s like assisted living idk what to call it, he has dementia. Miss the old house lots of fond memories there, but he doesn’t notice a change. He loves talking to his neighbours (they all live in seperate houses with a big community facility in a gated area) they worked really hard their whole lives to provide for themselves now, very blessed because even with good fortune dementia is incredibly hard to manage. He gets worse everytime I see him. I still love him all the same.
This sounds like a very caring, thoughtful way to make a necessary transition as peaceful & stress-free as possible for them & probably everyone else. Wonderful. How could it go better? 🙂
@@dylanagoblin9298 Very, very difficult. Even if he doesn't recognize you for you, most likely he knows you as someone that cares & brings him happiness & variety in life. (Don't forget to take care of you. Easy to neglect ourselves 💙)
Agree with the first point of your argument but not with the 'cruel=no experience with dementia patients' as the method is just as cruel as a kid who is skilled in cooking but the parents 'supported' the kid by buying a kitchen playset because they think 'its much safer for the kid'. Not only that was a huge disrespect for the kid but also lowering the kid's self esteem Try looking at how retirement houses in the Netherlands dealt with the exact same situation. It's way more humane and better for dementia patients rather than this method
@@Kuricang31 What? How is this cruel if the person doesn't even realize it's not a real bus stop. Do you have actual experience with dementia patients?
I used to work at a nursing home (old folks home), we had a resident named Pearl. Every few days she would get all dressed up, put on her make up and go sit outside waiting for a taxi that would never show up. I asked her one day thinking family was coming to vist why she was all dressed up, her response actually brought tears to my eyes, she said she was going to take a taxi to the train station to welcome her husband home from vietnam. Her husband died 11 years before this day.
My dad had Alheimer’s and every time I visited him he would say, “Let’s work on some projects together”. I would reply, “That is a great idea! Tomorrow I will pick you up and we’ll do a project together”. Of course the following day when I came over, he had no recollection of our previous days conversation. My deception made him content for the moment and moments are all they have. Little snap shots that fade within an hour or even minutes of being taken. This bus stop is an excellent idea.
In 1991 I spent a week volunteering in a search for an older woman who had wandered away from a lovely care facility in the heavily wooded Carolina mountains. It was winter. No one saw her leave, and although she was wearing a long, bright red coat, we never found anyone who had seen her. Her body was never found. Her family never knew what happened to her. Any anguish from a fake bus stop hardly compares to what she must have felt in her last hours, and what her family and friends must still feel.
I remember the news. It all seemed so far away back then. But now I am at that age....and we still put our Hospice Care facilities way out in the country....is a fence too much to ask?
My grandma was one of these people wandering off too but thankfully she was always found within the day. Still not an experience I want again. We live in a city but lived at the outskirts so there was a potential of just running into a forest or something too and there is also a lake she could have gotten into. All within an easy 15 minute walk of her apartment even when walking slowly.
THIS is what brought me to the comments. All too often, seniors with dementia who wander away are found dead. Most seem to die from the elements or from drowning. My Mom worked in a nursing home for many years. She had several patients who got out from time to time. Thankfully, they were always found safe, walking around nearby. My Mom is now 90 and has dementia. She's at home and doesn't want to escape but if she did, then I'd prefer that she didn't die alone, in pain and/or fear. The fake bus stop is compassionate and a potential life saver.
This story makes me weep. How utterly tragic for that elderly woman and for the people who loved her. I wish you could tell this story to those so-called "experts" who declared the fake bus stops "cruel."
Honestly. I think it is a good idea. My grandmother was fading due to dementia. My grandfather would get very upset because she would not recognize him, and forget all the time. She was placed in a long term care home. As a child I would visit my grandmother, other family members would keep trying to explain who they were, and where she was. It would get very stressful and upsetting for everyone involved. One day I came in, and she mistook me for a classmate from when she was a child. Rather than correcting her, I went along with it. I told her that she was in the hospital, but she was going to be ok, and that she didn't have to worry about this weeks homework. That everyone in class is looking forward to her coming back to school soon. She became relaxed, and we spent the whole visit talking about things from her childhood. I kept doing it, and I got to know a side to my grandmother that neither I nor my parents had ever gotten to know.
Damn, that was a really intelligent move by you. I know it must have hurt also, that your grandmother didn't recognized you as their grandchild anymore, but she at least saw you as a person that was really important for her. (By the way, the fact that the newer impressions fade away first with dementia patients is also the reason they don't recognize others anymore - they remember them much younger as they really are. Your grandmother most likely only remembered your grandfather as a young boy, not as the "old guy" claiming to be her husband).
That was one of the best things you could have done. Your grandmother felt safe and accepted, and not irritated of demands she could not fulfill anymore. And she was able to tell you about experiences she might not have remembered earlier, so you could learn a lot about and from her.
We use them in Canada as well - but the nurses never take the people to them. The patients often get there themselves and, after a little while (depending on the weather) a nurse will come out, tell them the buses are a little delayed and suggests they come back in for a cup of tea while they wait inside.
@richardharrold9736 Is it really gaslighting if it is just an inactive bus stop? However I do think patients in eldercare clinics should get more time from nurses and excursions and stuff. (Maybe even rent a tour bus that stops there and then takes them on a tour)
@richardharrold9736 Would you rather tell them the truth? That they're suffering from dementia and living in a care home, that the people they're trying to return to are long dead and that they'll be joining them soon? All that's going to do is cause them great distress. You can't convince someone that they're living in a delusion.
@richardharrold9736 They are already "gaslighted" by their own delusions, telling them the truth will only put them in distress, because then they think you're trying to make a fool out of them. Giving them a reality check will work in the early stages only when they are still mostly sane, at later stages it will only make the situation worse for everyone. The degeneration of their mind is progressive and cannot be stopped sadly.
My husband’s grandmother wandered away from her wonderful caregivers at home, and got in a city bus. The driver, figuring out the situation when he arrived at the bus garage with her still in the bus, took her to get coffee and pancakes. He gently questioned her and got family members names. He called the family and she was home safe in several hours. What a wonderful man! She was getting on the bus to go to work as she had for decades.
As a full time care giver for my father who has severe dementia, this is a great idea! He ran away from home 2-3 times initially, and my greatest fear while running looking for him was that he will get on a bus from the nearest bus stop!! He did however once get into a taxi from the same spot, luckily we had just installed a gps tracker app on his phone, and also we were incredibly lucky when he answered the phone one of the several times we kept calling, and happen to mention he was "going to the golf club", we were then able to track his location to the club a few kms away. They were likely the most tense moments of my life! I see this system being very useful indeed. Kudos to the Germans for thining about it and implimenting it.
As someone with an immediate family member who has dementia, I wish I had something like this for them. Balancing the things they think are true at the moment with the things that will keep them from harm, or harming themselves, is incredibly difficult. A passive solution that defuses the situation is often the best thing you can do for the person. I wish it were otherwise. I really do.
Yes, I totally agree. I'm currently looking after my 95 year old mother who has dementia. She was prescribed Paxil for anxiety. It's not too bad while the Paxil is doing its job, because she's in a good mood. But as the dose wears off she always starts packing to go "home". I think the bus stops are a relatively merciful solution to a very sad problem. Best of luck to you! Anxiety medication has helped us a lot if that helps.
Same here. My mother (76) has been hit hard over the last 6 months, going from a slight forgetfulness to full-blown hallucinations. I prepared to cook a nice Christmas dinner, picking one of our traditional recipes on purpose, but when I got to her earlier, she was just sitting there staring at the wall. I went to clean up the kitchen and discovered she had thrown away all the food items I had bought her within the last month. She then walked in and accused me of buying expired food to poison her. So no Christmas dinner this year. Oh, and I saved the best for last: As long as she's not endangering anyone, I can't even have her diagnosed against her will. And she's never been one to go to the doctor as long as she could say no.
I think it works for the same reason a lot of professionals nowadays will recommend that families of dementia patients (so long as it won’t cause any harm) just “go along” with their delusions since repeatedly correcting them would be, at best, pointless and tiring, or more often than not, will only serve to cause distress for the family member you are trying to care for.
@@AcidlibThat's correct. lf a dementia patient believes that someone who has died is still alive then it is just often better to pretend that they are correct than make them very sad by telling the truth. My grandmother had dementia and my dad thought that it was always important to tell her the truth. It was heartbreaking to see her become very sad every time my dad told her how the people she was talking about were dead. She was so happy when she was talking about her old friends and relatives like they were still alive and then my dad ruined everything reminding her that those people were all dead.
Yes, I know that sometimes in the Netherlands, the nursing home makes a photo of door (inside) of t patient home and put a lifesize poster on the roomdoor at the nursing home, given an sense of being at home to the patient,
Having dealt with dementia directly, it's really a "no-win" situation. You never know how they are going to respond. They can get agitated whether or not the bus shows up but letting them have the freedom to go outside and THINK things are normal until they forget tends to keep them calm generally.
Relatively calm is probably better than agitated, and that is all we have to go by. It is a horrible family of diseases that affect not only the patient but the whole family (and children seeing that their old days might not be the sunshine on the Riviera they hoped for).
Yeah but they often forget how long they have been waiting or why they were waiting for a bus in the first place relatively quickly and will realize they'd be much happier going back inside where its warm and they can get something to eat. The best thing you can do for a dementia patient is entertain their delusions. They believe what they believe and NOTHING you can say will change that. It will only make them aggravated and violent towards you as they begin to get paranoid thinking you are a lying bastard with some alternative agenda.
Both my parents suffered from dementia and I found NOT arguing with them and finding a delay tactic was effective in calming their anxiety about where they were and what they were doing there. Understanding the patient's mindset and grip on reality is all that is required. My guess is those who see this as a cruel joke have never seen (first hand) how debilitating and destructive dementia is and anything that keeps the patient safe is a positive. Both my parents "went away" LONG before they died. Anything that normalizes their world is worth the effort. I support this (the fake bustops) project.
I remember how my mom had quickly progressing dementia in her early 50's and she was keen to leave our home to go back to... our home. As in, she believed we were visiting her parents (my grandparents). She was actively packing things too, and I recall telling her that we'd be leaving "soon". She calmed down, sat down and just continued watching TV and not too long after that she forgot she was even trying to leave in the first place. My dad tried to correct her usually, but I tried to play along, though doing that made me want to cry a few times. This was a few years ago, a bit before COVID struck. Nowadays she's in a care home and a wheelchair, not even speaking anymore and, strangely, keeping her eyes shut for some reason... but I'd like to think she understands something since she does laugh seemingly at random sentences. I do visit her still, but in my mind she's been passed away for 3+ years by now so I've come to terms with it, more or less. It's still pretty sad to visit her though. Still, for me it was much more painful to watch her degrade in real-time. Sometimes it was actually dangerous too, she tried to burn a bag of trash in the kitchen sink - I never learned what she believed she was doing. I think she tried it twice, first time we didn't have a smoke detector and I only noticed it from the smell of burning plastic and rushed downstairs to drench the bag in water. Thankfully there's nothing super flammable in that area aside from the shelves; sink is metal and the wall has ceramic tiling. Second time was with a smoke detector, and I recall how it kinda frightened her to suddenly hear the loud beeping. tl;dr - Alzheimer's, dementia and such? They're not very fun things, and I support these bus stops too.
Apparently in the Netherlands there's an entire fake "village" which is an old people's home. It's like 1984, with cameras everywhere, so if they fall down or have a health emergency in thier home, the "neighbours" (nurses) can "just happen to have come round" at that point. They also have money and "shops", so they have the illusion of an independent lifestyle.
This is actually similar strategy to calming a 2 year old who can walk and talk, but has no idea how the world works or why they can't do what they want all the time. Telling them no and arguing will simply make them become more distressed until they are distraught, they are not mentally capable yet to understand or rationalised with. If you let a 2 year old do what it wanted it would soon be throwing itself down the stairs and eating nothing but sweets. Distraction leads them to forgetting what they were even thinking about in the first place and they are lead to where the parent wants them to be anyway.
@@wylser Thanks - he's doing quite well. He's never been visibly sad about it (even though they had been together for ~35 years before her mind started to deteriorate, and I know he cares about her). He's never been a super emotional person in the first place (if I recall correctly, even the first few discussions I had with him about my mom's situation had him already be fairly accepting of it, as if he skipped straight to the "acceptance" stage of the five stages of grief), but it could be that he's (been) more openly sad whenever I don't see him/whenever I'm not around. I don't know. I don't really want to pry about things like that. It is also extra rough on him because his mom (my grandma) also has Alzheimer's... but on the bright side, she has a much less aggressive variant of it and is actually cognizant and can speak and remember things reasonably well, at least sometimes. Supposedly, she's got days where she's barely coherent (according to my dad), but whenever I've visited her (mainly for big days such as her birthday and Christmas), she's been doing relatively well. She might sometimes struggle to recall who I am, or she might remember things from my childhood. Both of those illnesses started (or got bad enough to be noticeable) at roughly the same time, within a year or two from each other if I remember correctly. Overall, it has been very impressive how well he has taken it.
I do work for an assisted living/nursing home and the building surrounds a large courtyard with a bus stop, a car [non operational] and a flower garden with safe gardening tools and such. I've been amazed to see a woman who doesn't even recognize her husband singing as she repots plants. Sad in a way but if it eases some of her anguish I guess it's a good thing.
As a curious dutch person who worked with people who where suffering from dementia. I think this is a great idea. Playing a long often works, but when he came confused towards me asked me about his wive who passed away years ago I was always honest to him. Sometimes we went to his room to see a photo of her. Sometimes he just wanted to smoke a cigarette. It was difficult to convince him to smoke outside. I always quickly took a Jacket for him and told him I would smoke a cigarrete with him (I don't smoke ciggarettes btw, lol) I just always convinced him to smoke outside with me. He never noticed i didn't lite a ciggarete. We talked a lot a about his passed life. He grew up in Amsterdam. Still had so many memories but yet so confused. In the end of the day, his safety was our #1 priority. The reason we had his ciggaretes (as staff) and he was not allowed to smoke in his 'own' room was because he would fall a sleep on his couch with the cigarrete still burning... That fire could have easily killed him and maybe even others... One time he became very mad at me, even attacked me, for something i did for his own good. One hour later he complety forgot about it and was smiling at me again and feeling fine. Safety is the key here.
If you go to a dementia unit you often see patients carrying dolls thinking they are real babies. Others may have a cloth and they are rubbing things down - "cleaning". Sometimes a patient might sit at a desk and type away at an old typewriter - "working". All of these are similar to the bus stop. The patient thinks they are doing something and that provides comfort. BTW, I don't think the bus stop would work in most parts of the USA since most people don't take public transportation.
My grandmother had dementia and kept trying to drive. My cousins removed the spark plugs, then she wanted the car worked on so they told her that they were waiting for a part that had been ordered. That part never arrived so she didn’t drive for the last six years of her life.
My uncle did the same thing, my grandma crashed her car and the cops took her driver license. My uncle disconected the battery and tricked her saying the car was beyond repair. When I was a kid she would drive really really fast around the city cursing everyone for being slow 😂😂😂
What does the frog say? We will drivint to the space-sector MZ-1000 !! Why Not driving You'll get a fly-in from a driv-in or where issnT any there is now! I like funny Newspapers where is written from thee heart off the folks! But keep RESPEKT at the double adults and their Ownerships In AMERICA YOU'LL GET A FULL BOX OF SENTENCE, I THINK 25 YEARS An at least YOU'LL pay for the "Nutzungsausfall"! WHY YOUR MUST ALL DRIVINGS YOURSELF MMMRRRRROOOOOOUUWWWWW
@@Splucked YOUR Mom is an it? That is while the driveway's sucked and stucked. What is happend? Any ILLUminati (get the law on it's side every time) give accident to your mother and SHE was shocked? No apollogise, No anything? May be I'll become a lawer I'll screw them on the street like Jesus on the cross! You may put some orange hats sourround, iff they are overdrivven or taken no replacement. IS IT possible to reverse the accident??
I have worked with many people who live with dementia (in canada). I love this idea. Even for people on ‘locked units’ or in ‘secure facilities’. Being able to take someone ‘down to the bus stop’ could actually help them regain a sense of dignity and autonomy. As for the arguement that it is cruel or unkind, and doesn’t ‘challenge their delusion’ - in my experience and in my workplaces, it is often best NOT to challenge their delusion. Consider this: is it kinder and better for one’s health to be told - sometimes multiple times each day that your husband or wife is dead??? The grief is fresh and raw EVERY time. THIS is what is cruel. Allow them to believe that ‘it is time to go home’; ask them to share stories about their loved one, ask them about their plans and dreams! Allowing people with dementia to experience a ‘delusion’ (not what we call it in canada, but i realize it’s just the languaging that is different) that is pleasant, brings them peace or hope or joy - is far better for their mental, emotional, and physical health. When people are feeling more joyful or more at ease, it is much easier to re-direct them to come back inside, or to join you for dinner - because so-and-so called and will be late… I cared for my grandmother at home who had dementia, and I’ve worked on locked hospital units with people who have various mental health issues - including dementia. I’ve learned that patience, kindness, and dignity are the real medicine for people living with dementia. ❤
Having a mother who died from complications of dementia… this is genius!! However I’d be unhappy being the traveler who mistook it for the real thing!😅
It's clearly labeled "Sonderfahrten" (which I'd translate as "special schedule", no regular schedule) and if you look at the timetable...wait, there is no timetable! It's also not a major transport hub in a major city center, where you'd go to the stop, confident that some public transport would turn up real soon now, even at 3am in the night, because, you know, major city, central location and everything. Actually, that happend to me in Frankfurt (Main), Germany, in a pretty central subway station. "Next train due in 99 minutes." WTF? Then I figured out that it wasn't 99 minutes...it was just that the display rounded down everything to 99 minutes. Whatever. Major city, central location, left the subway station and caught a cab right away. Major city, central location.
It’s actually beneficial to play along with people who have dementia. Making them feel delusional makes them sad, confused, and scared. My grandma used to live in a lockdown ward where they would leave old TV shows on as if they were new. There was always one woman with her purse trying to sneak on the elevator to get to the bus; this stop would’ve been perfect for her.
Here in Hong Kong, our local bus company “KMB” had followed the examples set in Germany, after these fake bus stops were featured in a local TV programme. KMB shipped these authentic looking bus stops to several local elderly homes that requested them, free of charge. They even shipped one of these fake bus stops overseas, to an elderly home in Sydney, placed indoors, next to a large screen with videos of a Hong Kong street with moving traffic. It was featured in an article published by SBS.
If you ever read about dealing with demented loved ones one of the first things you learn is to stop trying to argue with them. Telling a patient they’re demented is incredibly upsetting. Being in an elderly home is incredibly upsetting. One day after school I met an old ladies at the bus stop who didn’t know how to get home. She said she met with a friend and had to take the bus to get home. She didn’t know which bus, but she knew the part of the city she supposedly had to go to. While showing her where her next bus leaves I realised she was constantly repeating herself like she didn’t remember what she already said. Namely how she’s never been at this train station. (even though it’s the biggest in the region and THE SPOT she’d have to change means of transport to get anywhere.) After we arrived I convinced her to show me her apartment because I wasn’t sure she still lived on her own. She realised she didn’t have her keys with her, I calmed her by telling her we would ask her neighbours or the janitor for help. She couldn’t find her apartment, or remember the precise address, but she knew we where at the right place. I convinced her to go to the police station under the pretence of asking for her address. (Her first reaction was:”I didn’t do anything wrong, I’m innocent, I’m not guilty” even though I had just told her we could ask the policeman for help) of course the goal was to find the seniors home she actually lives in. We did get the anwser, but for the old lady’s it was seriously upsetting because the officer kept pointing out and correcting her delusions compared to me who spent the whole afternoon working with them instead of against them. Unsurprisingly she really liked me but didn’t trust the officer. First we planned to take her home by public transport but she didn’t want to walk back to the bus stop so the police brought out their big car and we sat in the dark cold metal box in the back usually reserved for criminals or squats… again. We’re working with a demented person who constantly forgets what’s going on and doesn’t trust supposed strangers… anyway, once we arrive she was still convinced we were wrong (during the ride and after I promised we would just take a look and if she still thought she was wrong I’d leave with her and we would keep looking for her home. She didn’t recognise the senior home and didn’t want to take of her jacket until she got to talk to the indian caregiver whom she recognised and trusted and saw her room. Only then did she realise she was home but she was still convinced there was a second home she wanted to go to. A fake bus stop hits that perfect balance of giving in to their delusions, having the feel safe and in control without endangering them. Demented people are In senior homes BECAUSE they can’t take care of themselves. If I had been in a hurry and not just on my way home I wouldn’t have shown her the next bus stop and if I hadn’t spontaneously decided to go with her I don’t know how long it would’ve taken for her to bump into someone who realised something was wrong. Even while getting on the bus she almost hurt her self. The outside world is dangerous to them and not playing into their delusions as much as possible builds distrust and anxiousness. On their part their caregivers are complete strangers and most of the time forget that they have dementia. How would you feel if your in an unfamiliar place and a stranger tells you you can’t leave that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be until the end of your life because you’re stupid or mentally ill even though you’ve just turned 62. (I don’t know how old she was I’d guess 80, maybe 90. She was convinced that she was 62 and that she was a teacher. She used to be married but doesn’t have any family. And she has a very strong dislike for churches which, girl, so relatable!)
Thanks for this story. It really illustrates for people who don’t understand dementia what it’s like. Sad that the police haven’t been properly trained to deal with it as it will only be getting worse as more people age!
bro that is genuinly heroic of you, if this was reddit i'm sure you'll have at least 5 awards all jokes aside, this really opens my mind to how dementia affects those without next of kin to take care of them, really devastating to think about and read about
Culturally (at least in the US) the word 'demented' has a pretty different connotation than dementia. That said, I'm glad you helped her. I wish I had known abou5lt playing along when my grandma had dementia. 😢
As someone who worked as a storage clerk in a retirement home, it is my opinion that fooling someone into staying is always better than having to inform their next of kin that their family member managed to slip away and drowned in one of Amsterdam's many canals. The retirement home I worked for was built on a one-hectare piece of land with four long buildings along the sides. The buildings were connected by a cellar running in a loop under all four buildings. It happened several times that colleagues of mine arrived at work in the morning to find an elderly person wandering aimlessly in the basement; the record was five people. They would usually end up in the basement because that elevator button was the lowest, and they apparently did not know the home had a basement.
@@mrrandom1265 I honestly do not know; it might have been intentional or a happy coincidence. The home was 149 years old before it closed and some of the buildings were rebuild over the years. Unfortunately, it did not stop the truly determined people; we had to be vigilant and make sure one of the elderly men did not see us enter the door code while leaving. Despite his mental state, he could be very convincing, so visitors and staff normally not working on that floor would sometimes open the door for him. (A warning letter with a photo of the person was taped to the window of the door.)
I think that it is a great idea! My mom died from Dementia, but before she died, she wanted to escape the nursing home. However, she always enjoyed sitting outside in the fresh air. I know this would have helped her since she would forget everything from one moment to another.
as someone who has been the caregiver for her grandma for the past 6-7 years or so this is truly a very thoughtful idea, when i was uni i had biology professor that said his mother in law has dementia. being new to my grandma having dementia was hard but his advice helped my family so much "never scream,never yell,never get mad,smile say 'yes' and than do what is truly needed to be done" we sometimes tell my grandma we are giving her vitamins and it's meds so she takes them with no problem,she of course gets vitamins too but some meds are a must🤷♀️ and it's gets harder every time when she asks where her son is,if we tell her he's in the grave she'll lose it again😕
My grandmother died to an illness close to Alzheimer, one of my last memories of her is her asking where her husband was. She put two and two together when we said he wasn't here and she realized that he was long gone. One of her last lucid moment just to remember that her other half was gone and she had totally lost it. :(
"health experts" think this bad!? In Canada, this type of defusing redirection is a standard recommended response to dementia patients' short-lived desire to relocate - if they want to "go to the airport", by all means, get in the car and drive them around the block - that's all they need and it's exactly what they need in that moment, just a few minutes of movement - walk around the block; go to the "bus stop"...
“Health Experts” are not Experts at all….they are people with ideas about health who have worked their way into positions of influence. They usually get their views from academia as part of their qualification process. These views about treatment change with the times because often there is no definitive ‘correct’ method, it all comes down to what the current medical establishment endorses….I have seen this with treatments enacted by nurses.
agree, it's straightforward and everyone's happy. they are still aware and have feelings and can enjoy life even if they're mixed up by it a bit, these are wonderful ways to help them. need to be creative with complicated health matters.
This is a situation where we have to pick the lesser of two evils. I feel like waiting for a never coming bus is less cruel than having patients go missing and potentailly suffer even more without the help of their care takers where ever they may end up.
Also, I would assume that the bus stop gets checked regularly. Its not as if the person will be sitting out there for days on end. I don't know how long is too long, but if a staff member comes out to collect the person after an hour or two I don't see any harm being done.
In versions of explanations I've read, hospital staffers were to find and encourage them to "wait inside" after few minutes. It won't take them hours in cold, to either forget what they were doing, or realize they are just fine where they are.
On top of that, I don't think it stresses them out. In their mind, they're just on the way home. It's not like they can keep track of or remember how long they've been waiting.
There have been fatal events when people walked off and weren't found quickly enough so this is definitely a better option than letting this happen. Even if it just keeps a few from not getting away and being somewhere unsafe.
As someone who interned at a senior home for about a year, we had quite a few "runaways" and i must say, the stations would be so utterly useful long-term! It would ensure the safety of our seniors, it would allow them to go outside safely and just get some fresh air and it would allow us (the nurses) to properly handle the situation without many complications. I personally had to go out on a "man hunt" in the city twice to find seniors who had left and it was honestly horrible. It took forever to find them, it was extremely stressing for both of us, it took a lot of convincing to get them back to the home and we are understaffed and not truly equipped to handle these situations, so it's was huge pain. In short: If these stations can help keep seniors safe and can help nurses handle the crisis quickly and fairly easily without leaving the premises, they're a good idea.
When my father first went to the dementia care facility the family members were given the entrance door code so we could let ourselves in and out when visiting. Then one Saturday noon a group of visitors were leaving in a group. 30 minutes later the staff realized that two of the patients were missing. These two were young ( younger than 60) and acted "normal" if you were not around them very much. They had simply walked out with the group of visitors. The police were called to search the neighborhood. They were found walking together towards a busy six lane street. After that visitors had to wait for a staff member to let them in or out. Sometimes it could be a long wait.
How is it possible that these people could escape? They are not safe outside, they don't have all their memories and can't remember where they are or who they are, so being unsupervised is very dangerous and possibily deadly, so I would figure that these institutions should be closed and safe so that no old person can escape, the doors solid enough and not able to just be broken.
@@daskampffredchen No, that has nothing to do with being old. These people have dementia and they are mentally ill, they cannot function in the world without supervision. You might read up on what dementia is, it does not have a causal relationship with age, being old has nothing to do with it.
My Grandfather wandered around downtown looking for his old job one time, it was scary, luckily we spotted him before anything bad happened and he recognized us and let us take him back home.
This is an absolutely beautiful display of forward thinking prevention system to keep those suffering from dementia safe. I can't imagine what families must go through when their loved one is missing as well as for their loved one being out there confused and scared with no one to guide them home. This is really wholesome 🙏🏻
A family member of mine worked in a nursing home and one patient would only calm down when she could tear up paper in tiny pieces. So they gave her a phone book to tear apart. Patient happy, nurses happy. It's a win-win for everyone.
I work with dementia patients as a occupational therapist. This is a great idea. And yes, it's best to participate in a patients own reality sometimes. If a patient forgets everything within 10 minutes, and the truth hurts them, you shouldnt work reality-based. Like keep repeating their husband died every 10 minutes, because they keep forgetting and asking where he is. These fake bus stops are a great tool in that entire tool kit to give dementia patients freedom and dignity where possible! ❤
As a caregiver to my husband with Alzheimers, I think this is a brilliant idea! My husband often becomes forgetful, confused and delusional which creates a lot of anxiety. The medical experts recommend re directing him to another subject when he gets this way. Taking someone to a fake bus stop is an excellent example of re directing their attention and thus reducing their anxiety and return to calmness.
There once was a question like this on the German Quizshow "Genial daneben" and it was also a bus stop at a nursing home aimed at residents with dementia who often had the desire to just go home and made their way to the next bus stop. In order to keep them in a safe environment they created a fake bus stop at the nursing home grounds where the carers just had to go around and collect their residents again, who just sat there and then totally forgot what for. Kinda tragic, but also smart idea.
I don't recall the channel, but there is a series of videos that explain the best ways to keep dementia patients from getting upset, and this is one of the very best ways. Those who think the patients become more upset by sitting on the bench are making uninformed guesses. The bus bench allows them to feel like they're going somewhere, and after a bit, they tend to forget why they were sitting there...at which point, it's time to go back in.
Exactly, has nothing to do with not taking them serious, but making it easier for people with dementia by allowing them to believe in what they think. My grandpa died a decade ago and his wife died 2 years before him. The dementia worsened to a point where he didn´t really had much clear moments at all anymore. But instead of telling him we weren´t living in the 70s anymore and the nurse taking care of him wasn´t my grandma in her 30s, we let him believe himself. Because why tell him the truth if it would just hurt him in his last days. I want to add that my granpa had a great time in most of his 97 years. That was what hammered down our decision to not tell him the truth anymore. We just sat with him, played board games and spoke about life, until he peacefully slept away
I have been working in a nursery home in Germany in my civilian service. These bus stops are a great idea! I have had to stop patients from entering a real bus to the other side of town to "go to school"(!!!) in winter by signalling to the bus driver that he tells them the bus is "full" or whatever. If you think the fake bus stop is cruel, what do you call letting a senior who can barely walk take a bus to the other side of a town they never lived in when they were young in freezing weather? You can place them on a nice bench with a fake bus stop outside their home. Or you can let police do a city wide search until someone finds them in the ditch they fell into, then shat themselves because they could not get up alone. Dementia is cruel. Fake bus stops are not. If you cannot tell a fake bus stop from a real one, you have no business tanking a bus.
don't you actually have like some mobile app where you can check if its a fake one surely it won't hurt the concept since the elderly arent likely to use those apps
My father suffers from dementia, but he's still happy and sort of knows he can't remeber things. He just likes to go for walks, and wouldn't care for a bus stop. He's been known to "escape", but he doesn't go very far and the wonderful nurses find him walking around after his cunning escapes (he's an engineer after all, so sneaking of by using furniture is not that hard). He's a very good father to have, and so young!" Only 97 years old. Happy holidays!
I had (finally went to a care home) a patient with severe dementia who also had bpsd. She was such a sweet woman with the biggest (like 7 siblings and 6 children) and most loving family you could get, all day every day she sat all alone in an empty apartment. She was always sad that her children never visited and was convinced that they were stealing and drinking away her pension, and every day she cried over how lonely she was. Her children would visit every week, but the next day she had completely forgotten they had ever been there. A couple times I tried to remind her that her children had just visited, but that made her even more upset, as she would realize she couldn't trust her memories. There would be times where she was aware that she had memory gaps, and that made her very scared and sad. It was truly hearthbreaking to see. One of the first things you learn when dealing with dementia patients is to play along with their delusions, since the actually cruel thing would be not to. This woman always talked about her siblings and parents as if they were alive. I don't know if they were, but I doubt it since she was the youngest sibling and she was in her 80s. The most cruel thing you can do to a dementia patient is to remind them that the people they love are dead. And since they forget, you would have to break these devastating news again and again and again, and each time the patient would suffer the same heartbreak. So no, these bus stops are far from cruel. Though I wouldn't be happy if I waited for a bus that'd never come...
I had a patient and her family did exactly that. Every time they visited she would ask where her husband was and they would remind her he was dead. This would send her into hysterics . The family would then say " if you are going to act like this, we are leaving " and leave. The patient would be inconsolable for hours. I finally was able to show the facility administrators the pattern and get them to intervene. It exploded into a huge fight between family and facility. Some families sux.
I work in a hospital and a couple of our wards have fake bus stops to help ease some of the patients with dementia. Its a great idea and really does help calm them down. I was 100% confused when I first saw them.
As a physical therapist who worked for a long time with confused and Alzheimer's patients. I can understand the logic of this. This is a natural extension of Validation Therapy where essentially, we do not make any attempts to disabuse a patient of the mental image of what their world is, but to enter their world in order to give them comfort.
my mother has worked in elder care her whole life here in Denmark and for the last 15 years at-least its been normal to construct similar fake bus stops outside of our elderly carehomes with many who has Dementia or Alzheimer, and its NEVER been controversial to build them here, just seen as another tool to manage a vulnerable group of people. Its not seen as cruel to lie to them as its needed to lie to them all the time anyway as carehome workers dont have the time to explain to them what the details of their problems is multiple times each day, they need to get on with their work of bathing, getting them to eat etc.
I lost my oldest brother to dementia. He constantly tried to go back to a happy time in his life. In one instance he awoke and was walking down the road until my nephew caught up and asked him what he was doing. He was walking to get the truck and go hunting - the truck was a 1947 Chevrolet which went to the wreckers in the mid 1960’s. Sad to see one, once so mighty reduced to this! The cruel thing is that none of us noticed until too late. He’d exhibited what we thought was just bad behaviour from as early as his mid 50’s and finally died in a nursing home at 84, just a shell of his former formidable self.
My grandma lived in a dementia home for her last two-ish lives. The institution is in a town next to her and my grandpas hometown and had a garden with an infinity path which started and always led back to a fake bus stop with the towns name on it. It helped grandma orient herself in seemingly foreign surroundings and nurses would often come pick residents up saying things like "did you have a nice day out? Thanks for waiting for me to come pick you up" or "guess the next bus isn't coming for another hour, fancy a tea inside in the meantime?" or something along these lines. I really loved the bus stop, served as an anchor for my grandma and helped calm residents.
A former coworker of mine in Germany had a problem with his father wandering off for years before he passed. It was so common for him to get an emergency call at work that his father had been found yet again hundreds of kilometers from home. I can see if there had been a fake bus stop nearby there might not have been so many panicked trips to bring the man home.
What if you had two senior "villages" that were close to each other? Something like has been done in the Netherlands where they create an actual mini-village with a food shop, a salon, a library, a fitness club. Then they could actually use a bus as a shuttle for staff and visitors between the villages while letting residents visit the other village and actually take a trip.
They are not looking to just take a trip though. Most dementia patients have very specific destinations they want to get to. A trip to an unfamiliar place would likely add to them feeling disoriented and ultimately do more harm than good. Maybe there are ways to make it work, but I must admit I am a bit sceptical.
The idea of setting up a mini-village is an awesome idea. Allow patients to go shopping for clothing, food, etc. Not that they need these things, just allow them to go out and enjoy doing it. Everyone in the village would have to be aware of their patients, in general (although, with modern tech a staffer could pull up specifics about patients very quickly) it could be like an elderly persons' Disney Land. They could go buy groceries and anything they don't damage or eat can be put back on the shelf for the next time. Clothing could be laundered and placed on racks to be bought again. It sounds crazy, but it could be a good thing.
@@haukenot3345 I mean, they're the ones sitting down at a bus stop without checking where it goes. And I assume there would also be a fair chance that by the end of the bus ride, they've forgotten why they got on in the first place.
My mum has dementia that is progressing more and more lately. My experience is that the people with dementia, like my mum, usually forget what happened fifteen minutes ago. It can be tedious having to repeat our same conversations again and again, yet there's nothing we can about it other than making sure they are safe, secure, and comfortable. A few times, my mum managed to leave our home while I was doing the errands or in other part of the house. It turned out that she remembered where we kept the extra house keys. Other time was when I simply forgot to lock the house door due to the sheer exhaustion or having so much on my mind. The fake bus stops are excellent "deterrent" in keeping the patients with dementia from wandering off too far.
After reaching a point in the dementia process, there's no point in arguing about what's real. You have to live in their world or you will upset them. My mother-in-law lived with us after her dementia had worsened that she could no longer be in assisted living. Some nights she would cry and beg to be driven home (her childhood home which longer existed). There was absolutely no way to console her. Eventually my wife would make a call from another room and pretend to be her mother, and assured her that could stay where she was for the night, and they would pick her up in the morning. It worked most of the time. if not, we would have her son call and pretend to be her father. He must have been quite strict, because that always worked. Taking care of her had some really heartwarming moments. One evening when she could still ambulate, she was sitting on the couch with my wife. She stood up and asked my wife to stand up. She led my wife over to where I was sitting and had me stand up. Then she said, "I'd like you to meet my daughter Debra". That was so nice, of course we had been married for 30+ years at that point. I think every dementia care should have a bus stop out front.
I recently lost my grandmother to dementia. Sometime she would believe that she was at a sleepover at a friends house (as a kid) or at work with the nurses. It was best to either work with her idea or redirect her rather than confront her with reality
This is absolutely the best thing to do with someone with dementia. Don't argue with them or tell them they are confused. Go with the conversation and try to redirect their attention.
This is absolute genius and hats off to whoever came up with such a simple idea and for the council/authorities to understand how important it is to let that stay.
A psychologist told me that keeping some truth from my dementia-suffering mother may be _good_ for her. Specifically, when my mother asks about one of my sisters, I respond that I have not heard from her for a long time. Telling her that her daughter is dead made her silent and unresponsive for the rest of that day, and the psychologist says the emotional shock may have a lasting effect - speeding the decline of my mother's faculties.
Yep. "Therapeutic fibbing". My dad was already in moderate stages of Alzheimer's when his mom died. That hurt him and hastened his decline. Eventually we had to tell him that grandma was on a cruise to Panama (something she had done 30 years before) rather than keep breaking his heart over and over each time he asked where she was.
THIS is a PERFECT example of what NOT to do, and I'm stealing it. The tree biggest stressors in anyone's life are the deaths of a spouse, parent, or child. Loss of the child being the worst. Emotional shock has a physical impact. If you had repeatedly told her her daughter had died, "For the first time," it not only would have sped the demise OF HER FACULTIES... But hers, as well.
Similar story with my gran. She outlived one of her children, he died when she was in her 90s. We didn't tell her that he had died, and whenever she asked about him, we would say that he visited her yesterday. She had no recollection of this, or recollection of anything at all. She could have had a birthday party, and then you ask her later has anyone seen you today? She would be saying no, no one had seen her. 😥
We do the same with my granny. Only when she had this “everyone is dead and you just dont tell me”-season, we had to deny it and call the “dead” people with her, because she got really stressed about this. She even attended my cats funeral, which was pretty hilarious.. said cat is currently sleeping in my lap, very much alive :)
And then there is the fact that every time you tell them a person is dead, they go through grieving yet again. The next day, are you going to yet again tell them again the person is dead and make them grieve again? They can suffer the pain of the death of a person anew if you tell them that person died even if the person actually died thirty years before and they once knew that fact.
Dementia is something that constantly worries me. (It runs in my family) I'm terrified of possibly getting it when I get old. I read that learning a new language can reduce your risk of it, so I've been trying to learn multiple languages to reduce my risk as much as possible. I'm semi fluent in Japanese and can read Korean symbols.
We were in Müllheim with my gf this July and saw a sign that said “Night Bus at 11:30” or around that time. Our shift ended and we went directly to that stop in Müllheim Bahnhof. We waited for a solid hour and nothing was present. Turns out that stop was a fake one among the other two which were next to it and the others were active so we thought this one would be as well. We encountered some fake bus stops (at least we assumed so) along the way to our home and one of them was in Zunzingen. I love Germany and their social culture, this fake bus stop thing may sound a bit odd and stupid, but not everyone is young and dynamic. Dementia is one of the finest works of the devil and should be taken seriously
I'm from Müllheim. That bus stop is not fake, but currently not being served because of construction works around the train station. The alternative stop is a few hundred meters away on the other side, although I have to say that they didn't do a good job at making it easy to understand, especially when you're not familiar with the place.
There is also a scheme, whereby residents in an old folks home have the door to their room painted like the front door to their former homes, or the home they knew the best, so they could always recognise it, distinguish it from the other doors in the corridor, and feel a sense of homecoming. It’s so simple and, like this example, quite moving.
My gran-in-law, whom I got on really well with, suffered dementia and before it got so she could barely move, she often made plans to leave her care home, but was always caught before leaving the building. If she had managed to escape, a fake bus stop would have been very useful, I support this idea. She died this year. R.I.P 'Gran Gran'....we miss you!
A practical idea! Our mum wandered off and disappeared for 90mins later to be found by luck from a restaurant owner that recognized her and drove her back. We were in Austria 🇦🇹 at the time and there weren’t any bus stops in that area.
There is a nurse who rides my bus who works with Alzheimer's patients and I have mentioned this idea to her in hopes that her facility would install a " bus stop" out front for the reasons mentioned in this video. I think this is a fantastic idea!!
It is a good idea, I wrote in my own post that we have a few of them in Denmark and they do work. As far as I remember, the theory is that it is a base memory for them/us that we take the bus to go somewhere, so when they manage to wander away from their home, they see the busstop and then they sit down and wait for the bus. Then the staff a few times a day check to see if there are any of the residents who are waiting for the bus, they go down sit next to them talk with them and slowly get them to come back to their home again We have some dementia villages, where ( and it may sound weird ) we gather elderly people to help/care for them, and they have different things to help stimulate the mind of the residents, some ie. have a chicken coop because there is a good chance that some of the residents come from a farming community. Also there was a plan that a village was to be build across from where I live, and it would have been put in amongst normal apartments for regular families and they would use things like the bus stop, having special trained workers in the local store to help when someone with dementia would wander of and go shopping, but unfortunatly exonomy got in the way. So hope you can get to see a village in action or at least get a bus stop like that near where the nurse works
It does come with some cists@@bennetfox such as one of the worlds highest tax rates. Although IF we took the cost of education and insurance etc and put on top of what you pay in the US I got a feeling that our tax rates might not be that far apart ;)
We have the same in Australia…try waiting at any bus stop here in Sydney and you’ll end up walking away after an hour or so because the bus never turns up
I've never heard of these but now I'm definitely in support of them. I remember hearing about an elderly lady who caught a bus to an area she used to live in, but I assume because it had all changed since then, she kept walking and walking until she got tired. She lay down on her handbag for a rest in a field and that's where her remains were found. If this bus stop had been there, she may have been found before she died.
I find it hard to believe that there are EXACTLY 11 of these in all of Germany, considering even my tiny rural town has one. They're likely more common than you'd think if you've never heard of them.
Great idea! Many dementia suffers will forget in a moment or two, unless you argue with them and then it becomes a point of contention. Information I learned from the book “The 36 Hour Day”.
Unfortunately we lost our Father in Law to dementia in September 2021, it is a very cruel fate nature hits many individuals with every year. You know when they reach their childhood memories their time here is very short. Many wind up with feeding tubes since the body starts loosing motor functions towards the end as well as with catheters. It’s very hard on the family towards the end seeing a once vivacious and active individual reduced to almost a vegetable. Now it was very odd on his last day on this earth that he became fairly coherent and was asking us if we would be OK and not to worry. Within a few hours he had passed peacefully into the afterlife.
Who ever said that cruel and bad idea thing about these, hasn't seen dementia patients IRL. I've lost three close people to it, and it's horrible disease. Try to explain daily to an elderly person who's waiting for her husband to come home from work, that said husband died more than a decade ago. The sadness, way they miss them and especially shame of not remembering it is so devastating that we started to say that maybe they popped to the shop on their way. No need to torture her any more than absolutely necessary. She will forget her late husband in a minute anyways. That is humane way to deal with the issue, without unnecessary confrontations with patients
In think for my Grandma it would have been perfect. She would sit down, would only take 30 seconds and she would have thought she already arrived and it is time to go inside. I did similar tricks with her without the bus stop. She wanted to leave her house to go "home", I brought her to the hall, then to the kitchen, then to the dinner room and from the dinner room finally home again in the living room. She was content again for a while.
I am a doctor and have worked with lots of patients coping with dementia. Theses bus stops are a good idea and will help calm the impulsive wishes of people who will then become easier to help
Funnily enough my grandfather with dementia was at an old folks home a block uphill from the local German club. He’d escape and end up down at the German club where they’d pour him a small beer and and call the old folks home to come pick him up.
Hogeweyk (the Netherlands) in Weesp, has a busstop as well, where people sit down. They are allowed outside the Hogeweyk-city (inside-city) with their family that visits, not on their own. There is a documentary about Hogeweyk. You can watch it if you want, it is on UA-cam.
This is brilliant. Dementia is heartbreaking, loved ones lose them before their gone. This eases the pts anxiety during the time their memory likely lapse from the initial trigger, which made have been a valid moment of lucidity. Peace and joy to all those suffering dementia and their loved ones. I believe this intervention is a non invasive solution to a very real issue for the pts and nursing staff.
A family member of mine works in senior care and patients wanting to go home, asking for their deceased family members etc. is sadly a daily occurrence. I think what a lot of people don't get is that in germany you can't just grab the elderly and force them back into the care homes, physical contact or any kind of restriction to their mobility might actually get you into serious legal trouble. Having a fake bus stop nearby is in my opinion much saver for both the seniors and caregivers, since roads and traffic are much more dangerous to the elderly, than the so called cruelty of a fake bus stop.
These bus stops are amazing. "Tricks" like this are used more and more to make people feel more at home, usefull and more. I just hope i never come to a moment i need a stop like this myself
There are a lot more than just 11 here in Germany. I never noticed them after living here my entire life. A couple of months ago i saw one and was confused at first because i know there aren't any busses driving here. My best friend explained to me what they where but we both didn't know they where so controversial. Like everyone else here in the comments i think they are a great idea. A bit sad but dementia is a sad and terrible disease and if it works and keeps them from running away and feeling imprisoned its good i my books.
sundowners syndrome, a sub form of stress with dementia patients is the need to go home at sundown. in my nursing home where i worked, the bus stop was often the only way to calm anxiety in residents. sad but its the very best way to help a dementia patient. and yes, buying into the de;usion also helps, by explaining reality to these guys aften always leads to massive anxiety and stress.
yes, sundowners is the most common cause of stress. often late afternoon, even family members are poweless to calm the dementia patient....but a walk to bus 'bus stop' almost always did the trick. sons and daughters of patients were always commenting how such a simple concept has such brilliant results. youll find here in australia, almost every aged care facility will have a 'bus stop'@@MindTheMap
I let out an audible "awww" as soon as you said it was placed outside an old folks home. That's an incredibly smart and sweet gesture to try and protect some of the most vulnerable people, using the way they think to try and help them.
In the care home where my mother lived the last part of her life in a closed part of the home there was a bus stop in one of the communal spaces. Every morning you would see people standing there waiting for the bus to their job. after a few minutes one of the nurses would come by and have a talk with them and prpose to do something fun instead of witing for the bus. First time I saw it working I was astounded on it working soooo good. Big part of why it worked was the nursing staff, giving the patients time to calm down and only then starting to interact with them. It's a great tool, but only as good as the people who have to work with it...
As someone with two parents with dementia, I like this idea. Dad sometimes asks me how to get from the nursing home to the shops. If he DID get outside the home, and saw a bus stop, he likely would wait there, and this would stop him wandering further, until the nurses found him. Yes, the focus should be on ideally preventing him (peacefully) from getting out, but assuming the staff are doing that, then this is a good last point of passive protection. (Unfortunately by the time I get to that point, I'll probably walk right past a fake bus stop because I've lived in this town to know that the busses aren't that regular and it's quicker just to walk 🤣)
Genius. One of my first jobs was in a elderly home. We had many who wanted to go to the bus. I think its good having it as a safety net, before they get missing.
I would think those experts would have a good point if they actually have a better idea to replace it, and approved by the people who have to work with these patients every day
There’s something like this in my town where the nursing home has an old car (but with no engine) parked in the garden and the old folks “go for a drive” to visit friends, go shopping, etc. It’s very popular with the residents. 🚗👴🏻👵🏼
Thank you for this informative video. I had not heard about these fake bus stops. While none of my close friends or family have suffered from dementia. I do have a cousin who suffers from anxiety and occasionally has panic attacks. Once when he was visiting from another state here in the US, he suddenly said he had to go home. I had never witnessed a panic attack before. We went outside where the temperature was cooler and the walls weren't so close. He calmed down after a short time. I realize this is anecdotal, but I can see how these delay tactics can be beneficial for someone suffering from dementia or anxiety. As such I don't see any cruelty in this.
Thank you for tipping me off about this. Historically, toward the end of their lives, the men in my family develop some form of dementia. For my father, it was Lewy body Dementia and that scares the hell out me. Every time I have difficulty searching for a word when trying to express a thought or when I forget where I put something I have terrifying flashes to the future and see myself rotting away in a nursing home somewhere. I am sure I'll forget about this fake bus stop concept but what if I don't? The staff at that nursing home are going to wonder how it is that I know about their fake bus stop. I look forward to giving them all one hell of a big challenge. I subscribed, by the way, because your content is engaging and I like it. Thank you.
It's a good idea to talk about dementia. Some patients are easier to work with than others, especially if their dementia is less advanced. I've seen them get upset if they can't go where they want to go, but they're fine if something like a bus doesn't come. Some say it's cruel to simulate normal experiences for them, but that's just insurance companies trying to save money. People who say that may not really understand dementia. Dementia is hard, often more so for the family and carers. It's hard, but the truth is that people with dementia will eventually forget. There's only so much you can do. They need a kind of mental wheelchair. Without it, it's like telling someone with multiple sclerosis to walk by themselves.
The bus stop panel clearly says "Sonderfahrten" what means that its not a stop on a regular line but the location where special hired buses can stop, for example when some senior residents will go to an excursion trip.
0:46 "Unfortunately, they waited in wayne" - me (2023)
Jokes aside, thank you for your support throughout this year - making videos for this community has been incredibly rewarding! -Lukas
(Also, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all of you!)
My mom recently passed away from complications with Alzheimer's. I don't know enough to say if this is a good or a bad idea, but I think that it is a valuable way to allow for a safety measure to stop confused people from wandering farther. Most of the time, the advice I was given was to just agree with my mom when she wanted to leave and go "somewhere" and try to deflect her with a delay. "Yes, we will go after we have this pudding." And then we will go after the dishes. And then we need to wash our hands. And isn't it time for your show?
I'll just say that I didn't personally like this method because it felt like lying, but I also do you know what the solution is.
"in wayne"? I think you mean "in vain" 😂
@CafeyAviation [German phrase] Wayne interessiert's
Wayne, New Jersey or Wayne, Michigan?
A fake bus stop, that's a modest solution. In Weesp (Amsterdam) there's an entire fake village for people with dementia: Hogeweyk.
Good idea to keep people safe. Sadly, in my city a lady with dementia died of hypothermia a few weeks ago after leaving her care home and getting lost. She was found near a train station, so maybe looking for a way to get "home" ... a fake bus stop like this maybe could have saved her life.
What life? If you’re old and have dementia, there is no cure for you. Your perception of the world gets worse and worse and the disease itself will, in a few years’ time, kill you. There is no life ahead of a person in that situation, even if you save it.
In the case of our elderly house in my town here they don't need a fake bus station. The real train station is right next to the elderly home, they just have to walk over a small foot bridge (so they also don't get into traffic). And the nurses can see them walking past, because the entrance where the nurses look is the nearest door towards the station, so the elderly cannot sneak past them so easily.
@@acmenipponair The point of the fake bus stop is that they are safe there because no bus is coming ...
@@acmenipponair i dont think that is very good, if the nurses see them, alright.
but in citys nearby i heard it is a big problem with their dementia patients, that the train station is very close. in their case, the patients board the train and suddenly they are as many stops away as it takes for someone to notice them or for them to wander elsewhere. they cant tell people what caring centre they came from, they can't say what stop they boarded... its sad and really dangerous
@@acmenipponair The fake bus stop is to keep them from wandering off.
My mother used to work in an aged care dementia facility. One day one of the patients wandered off and attended a local house auction. He was the highest bidder and bought the house, but the real estate agent was shattered when the care facility staff turned up to take him back again.
that’s hilarious LMFAOO chaotic neutral grandpa stirring up shit in his wake 😂
Like a boss
technically he did not "boight the house" then...
On the upside the losing bidder would have been over the moon.
Not at all. The losing bidder would have been bid way over his own figure by the "fake" bidder, who had nothing to lose.
I had a friend whose father was diagnosed with dementia. As the condition worsened he was getting fed up with the random bouts of disorientation so he made a large sign and put it over his tv that read "YOU HAVE DEMENTIA! DON'T PANIC! CALM DOWN!" Worked wonders for him. Every time I found himself lost and confused he'd see the sign, sit down, call the nurses and watch tv. He would have loved those bus stops.
Damn, smart guy. I always wondered if that could work, but my guess is it only worked because he did it himself.
Telling my grandma that she has dementia and that it's okay in the most calming way possible just ends in her getting extremely defensive and agitated. So I've learned to just not bring it up at all and play it off. She's always been a stubborn person though, so I wondered what it was like as someone who perhaps knows more about the disease or has previous experience with it.
It unfortunately runs a bit in the family, so I really hope I don't get it when I'm older... 😅
What a man. I pray that we all stay as self-aware, responsible and honest with ourselves as he is in life events as devastating as this. God bless him!
@@th0rne_999I wonder ... you probably know... but I have heard about several strategies that have been found to be helpful in preventing the onset of dementia, like certain foods, exercising and such? I don't recall, really, but you could google that? Anyway: good luck to you!
wait, just to clear this up (grammar can be misleading), it was the dementia patient himself who made the sign, right? Or your friend/his son? Cause if he made it himself I can see how it worked, however having carers put up signs like this I imagine might not work so well as most patients would probably be in denial over their illness, right?
Anyhow, good to know it helped!
@@th0rne_999 my great grandma had it she became agressive and started calling us names of my ancestors that no one but her was alive to remember she was 90+
As someone who has worked in nursing homes and dementia wards, that's a pretty amazing idea! Anyone criticizing it should go through the training, and work as a nursing assistant for a year so they can truly understand this unfortunate condition.
Thank you for your insightful comment!
I've never had training, and as hard as it is to say, I'm sometimes glad my dad can't walk anymore. Just a week ago he got his hands on the control for his reclining chair and wound up raising it enough that he slipped out to the floor (thankfully no damage). He sometimes believes his house is in Mexico, as he worked for an international company that sent him there several times back in the late 90's early 2000s. If he could move on his own, how far would he get?
Considering he's been living with an external catheter bag, it would get ripped out at the first snag.
Exactly what i was thinking, not one of the criticisms were concerned about the workers who have to bear the potential guilt of losing a patient because the patient decided to wander off to their old home..
@@_Jitterbug? No, but such criticisms do take into account how workers really ought to feel guilty about lying to the elderly. And they ought to feel guilty about keeping innocent people who want to leave trapped in their buildings. Actually, it reminds me a lot of psychiatric institutions, which are equally evil.
I struggle to see why we can't all accept the basic ethical truth that holding people hostage for not thinking the way you do is wrong.
@@cneale9431 It isn't holding them hostage, they aren't in the right state of mind to be wandering the streets and it would be dangerous for them to do so. My grandad has Dementia and he's got lost a few times. I would rather him sit at a bus stop for a few minutes than him getting lost for hours and being scared when he doesn't know where he is or what's going on. The point you try to make is very small-minded and unreasonable.
This is an excellent idea. My grandmother, who died 45 years ago, was 'kept quiet' on a drug. I took some of it once to see what it did: for me it gave me racing thoughts but no ability to respond to the world outside my own head. I just sat and stared. It was horrible. Whether that was what my grandmother felt I do not know but the bus stop seems to to be preferable.
Jesus, that's terrifying. Thanks for reporting back from this risky experiment.
try not to take drugs you are not been prescribed! that could have been dangerous.
@@-Big_Bigit was over 45 years ago my guy I’m sure he knows by now
@@HollyWatson99 fair.
though was mostly aimed at other readers also. like do not do what this guy did.
@@-Big_Bigwhat makes you think prescribed drugs are good for you? Did the doctors or patients research the side effects? Or just believe the fake pharma(farm). Most drugs for mental issues health are designed to control and repress the victim, not help and are also addictive. There us so much that modern medicine does not know, yet are happy to prescibe a pharma drug for it.
The sign says "Sonderfahrten" (special rides, as in 'off-schedule transportation only'). So the bus stop signage is pretty honest about the fact that no regular bus will ever come.
JP Sarte wrote a play like that.
And funnily enough, the Dutch word 'zonder' means 'without' and is pronouced pretty much the same way as the German sonder, so yeah, 'without rides' seems accurate enough
Thanks for translating that for those who don't speak German. Having had two relatives with dementia, I think this is a really good idea.
In German, "sonder" means - special. And that fits too. @@rosalindpatrick5096
@@rosalindpatrick5096 Interestingly, spoken and written languages are two different things. Chinese, for example, has two primary spoken languages (Mandarin and Cantonese with a ton of subdialects) but they are _written_ the same way. Some people can speak a language but can't read the written language while others can read/write a language but can't speak any of it. It's more of a Venn Diagram sort of situation where native speakers tend to also be able to read the written version of the language.
Those expert calling these measurements "cruel" and demand to "take them serious" obviously never had to deal with serious dementia patients on a daily basis.
You cannot argue with them, if you tell them they're wrong about the things they believe are true, they become increasingly agitated and aggressive, violent even.
The best thing one can do is to play along a bit and try to align their delusions with reality, calming them down and stalling them until they forget about it, that keeps them happy and manageable.
You want happy patients, but you can't allow them to do whatever comes to their clouded mind, and you shouldn't resort to drugs all the time.
Yeah I'm sorry, I really can't "take serious" people who are that far gone mentally. I hate being dismissive of anyone, but dementia as a disease really does make people into someone that has to be managed. They have their moments of clarity certainly, but they wouldn't be in care if they didn't need it.
Yeah apply rational reasoning to people with dementia is a failure to understand that these are not simply people to be given what they want so they don't become disgruntled, they are literally not thinking rationally or in reality. Letting dementia patients walk out and having to track them down is a recipe for disaster.
I had the same problem with those “experts”. They talking about not taking the dementia patients seriously and lie to them. Like if they would not take a fool of us without dementia and lying to us. Sometimes the most honest people lie. Most of them only to be kind with the person they lied. It’s not the same when you lie because they don’t want take responsibility for something, but because you really do care for those you had to lie. And I also don’t think they ever had to look after with someone who has dementia. I work in a facility when old folks were running around and slapped my bottom to take charge and chase them… should I take them seriously and report to the police for sexually assaulting me? Or even tell to my employer that I no longer want to work there for my personal safety? That’s would be cruel! It was much nicer to play with them that we are kids and we are on a playground instead of arguing with them that this is a serious institution and they should behave… and I have endless stories and reasons why those experts are totally, totally wrong.
Couldn’t agree more!
i wasn't sure if the "you cannot argue with them" paragraph was referring to the people with dementia or those people who oppose the idea. ironically it works for both.
My grandmother had terrible dementia and suffered horribly for many years. Something like this is the most compassionate option. In her case (she worked in a small town department store for many decades) they would have her fold towels for a "display" when she was convinced it was time to go back to work.
The towels didn't need to be folded. In fact they were usually already folded but she'd fold them a different way. But what this did was calm her down and keep her from becoming angry, anxious or irritated.
As horrible as it is to say it, at a certain point the mind is so damaged keeping track of objective reality is no longer an option. The best you can do is make them comfortable and keep them safe.
My dad had been a professor and at one point would babble endlessly. One of his helpers figured out she could get him to quiet down by saying "Thank you Professor xxx, that was a very interesting talk, shall we take a few questions now?"
The consensus in the UK at least now seems to be that there's no point correcting errors, as it just makes the patients distressed. So this seems like an excellent idea, both in terms of patient safety and comfort.
@@tomwinchester3582 And it makes the life of the carers much easier
Thank you, I agree! I understand that a lot of people think that "lying to patients" is always going to be wrong, but you nailed it with your last sentence - this disease is progressive and degenerative, so keeping track of reality will become completely impossible after a certain point. If a patient keep trying to go and see their (deceased) parents, and the nurse keeps having to break the news that they have died, that keeps the patient in a state of grief - until they forget... and inevitably try to leave again. You shut them into a miserable cycle.
I know it's just my opinion, but I completely agree with the more "modern" standard of care. It makes more sense. In early stages patients are lucid more often (and confusion can be addressed and corrected), but for later stages, redirection and reassurance keeps the patients happier. Don't make these people experience heartbreaking grief *every single day* by telling them their parents have died. Let them believe they've gone on holiday instead, soit would be better to visit next week.
@@Conniestitution its kinda a hard one to draw the line on so i get it. Its almost like they become children again, and its not immoral to lie to children if the point is to protect them.
Though i get it if people disagree because also where is the line where they are now like a child? Obviously you can just kind of tell but even than they often go in and out of that state, sometimes being very lucid and then sometimes they completely lose their grip on reality.
So i dont think theres any single way to handle it. But people saying we shouldnt take these measures at all is ridiculous. The alternative is basically putting them in jail. Even if it's just that plus extra steps, why not take thise extra steps if they mean more comfort. As far as im concerned anyways
Both my mother and maternal grandmother suffered from dementia. They lived with us and would often decide to pack up and "go home". It was frightening suddenly noticing they were gone and having to search the neighborhood for them. It was heart-wrenching having to bring them back kicking and screaming. These are a good idea.
That does sound heartbreaking...
smart band gps tracker.
I only try to assist, don't hate me.
My mom never made it back home, but there were very difficult times when she tried to get out of the bed &/or was convinced I wasn't helping her to leave.
Now I'm wondering if it would have been helpful to just get her out of the room & have her "wait here" (wherever...doesn't really matter) then return a minute later with some sort of distraction. It would have gotten her to move around a bit, too. Trying to get her to do her PT...ugh.
@@budisutanto5987 Is that an actual thing that exists?
When my mom was really bad off, she'd try to rip off a thing that was strapped onto her. So I'm wondering how a thing could be attached... Maybe a pocket in their socks? Hard to even notice if it's small...
@@echognomecal6742 The real thing is gps tracker capsule under the skin.
Popular use in Japan (for elderly), Mexico & south America (to save kidnap victim).
Thin smart watch, which is more in the category of smart band,
is quiet affordable and available in many places including online shop, compared to underskin tracker.
There's actually one of those fake bus stops at an elderly home in my town. It's very bright and visible, but stands right in a small flower park. The staff there told me exactly what you told us in the video: the elderly don't realize the bus stop as fake, and spend some time being "out there", not feeling confined to the nursing home. It works wonders, as the staff can easily spot them there, and the elderly sometimes meet there and end up talking the day away, helping them feel less lonely.
Seeing an elderly man just standing and waiting at a phony bus stop actually puts a wonderful edge on a tough situation. My Dad became difficult by pulling out nose tubes for oxy, and IV hoses. Escaped a few times in his wheel chair. It is with the utmost tenderness that I say this condition ended quickly. Not just going on for years or tens of years. Thank you. Love you Dad, Mom.
We’ve had this sort of thing in Australia for quite some time now. In the early 2000s my elderly neighbour used to keep coming back “home” in a taxi, and couldn’t understand why the new owners were “squatting” in his house, and what did they do with all his stuff? They did the bus stop and taxi rank at his home. This was a gentle way to allow them outside to enjoy the sunshine and garden, instead of locking them up inside. Fast forward a generation and I’m going through this again with a family member. They too have a bus stop, but one of the maintenance crew drives around in a 6 seat golf cart, buckles them in with a seatbelt, and takes them on a lap of the grounds (it’s built on several acres). Most don’t even realise they’re back where they started when he tells them they are now “home.” There is discussion about building another stop so they can feel they’ve gone somewhere, like a shop or outing, but the funding is needed. People who claim this is cruel haven’t lived with someone who has severe dementia. They can do the same thing 10 times over, 30 seconds apart, and still think it’s the first time they’ve done it. I support these gentle safety measures as an alternative to locks and bars on windows.
There are actually facility “centers” built especially like a part of a city with apartments and the restaurants and stores at the ground level where the patients can walk to a different place inside the facility and it is all open inside. They cost money, and the caregivers also run those stores and restaurants. They are fantastic senior homes and fantastic places for dementia patients.
The idea of a bus stop is an amazing implementation of giving the patients time to relax and take some air while thinking of other things to come and ultimately heading back inside as the bus might have just dropped them off at their front door :) I love the variations of placid and peaceful options!
This is correct and we actually have a dementia village. It has a fence around it, but inside the patients can move around to wherever they want in that moment. It is not the first of it's kind: near Amsterdam there is a big one.
Definitely me too.
No additional funding needed.
We all live in a large spherical dementia village.
Very true and honestly, I didn’t understand the repetition part until I volunteered at a local hospital when I was 14 and a lady pulled me aside and said they were keeping her hostage and not letting her bathe or use the restroom even though I’d just seen them bring her back from the restroom. But God damn, was she so smart; we played a music guessing game to incite memories of the patients’ and this lady drilled every single song within a half second. She had to be wheeled away so the other people could play 😂 I still think about that lady and wonder what happened. Hope she is ok
Honestly, I do understand how it could seem cruel to someone who has never gotten lost in their own mind. I have pills I need to take to not get confused. I remember being forcibly restrained as a child, even locked in a padded room once.
That's the alternative.
The bus stop doesn't hurt them, eventually they forget. If we were to be honest it's too good a metaphor for the entire facility. It's a peaceful and quiet place with no bus coming to take them away to a life that no longer exists for them.
@@ElfenohrI guess you have never lived anywhere where there is an hour or two hours between buses. We have that in urban areas in the UK. The worst thing they will do is ring the bus company but you would hope the staff would come out before then to talk to them. The bus company is undoubtedly in on this and will know what to do.
@@Elfenohr If that happens they wouldn't want the bus stop there. It doesn't really. It was a worry before the bustop was there - but they put it there to catch them before they wandered off and got lost and they found it calmed them down, they either forgot what they were doing or remembered why they were in a home once they calmed down, and they walked themselves back in.
@@ElfenohrYou cannot talk someone with dementia out of their "delusions" or make them non-disoriented by any sort of care. It is pointless and only distress them to have someone argue with them about things they cannot understand. They are permanently confused, and will be whether they are inside or at a bus stop or walking around the streets. If they believe they are waiting for something they are more likely to remain calm and not walk into traffic.
I think they should have a shuttle that can take them out for a short ride in the neighbourhood and then back home. They can be accompanied by their nurse so they can feel they have completed their journey.
@@hairyairey "Entschuldigen Sie, Herr ... Unser Bus ist leider verspätet, es herrscht ein absolutes Verkehrschaos in Düsseldorf". That's not even a lie, as it's the normal case in most times.
This is a brilliant idea. Most dementia patients don't continue to be upset for very long, and their thoughts move in another direction. These chances for them to take a break while they "wait for a bus" is a perfect way to let them calm down and for their attention focus to change.
One friend's father kept trying to "go home" and he was clearly no longer able to live on his own. He got angry when my friend tried to mention a care home. Her father's dementia caused him to be very forgetful and have a short attention span. My friend's husband took him for an overnight visit with a relative. While gone, my friend moved most of his things into an apartment in a care home. When her father came back, he was taken directly to his new apartment. Because all of his familiar things were there, if he even noticed, he never got upset or mentioned anything. He lived the rest of his life in the care home and enjoyed the many activities that he was able to manage.
I'm guessing the people calling this "cruel" have no direct experience with dementia patients.
My pop moved into a care facility that’s like assisted living idk what to call it, he has dementia. Miss the old house lots of fond memories there, but he doesn’t notice a change. He loves talking to his neighbours (they all live in seperate houses with a big community facility in a gated area) they worked really hard their whole lives to provide for themselves now, very blessed because even with good fortune dementia is incredibly hard to manage. He gets worse everytime I see him. I still love him all the same.
This sounds like a very caring, thoughtful way to make a necessary transition as peaceful & stress-free as possible for them & probably everyone else. Wonderful. How could it go better? 🙂
@@dylanagoblin9298 Very, very difficult. Even if he doesn't recognize you for you, most likely he knows you as someone that cares & brings him happiness & variety in life.
(Don't forget to take care of you. Easy to neglect ourselves 💙)
Agree with the first point of your argument but not with the 'cruel=no experience with dementia patients' as the method is just as cruel as a kid who is skilled in cooking but the parents 'supported' the kid by buying a kitchen playset because they think 'its much safer for the kid'. Not only that was a huge disrespect for the kid but also lowering the kid's self esteem
Try looking at how retirement houses in the Netherlands dealt with the exact same situation. It's way more humane and better for dementia patients rather than this method
@@Kuricang31 What? How is this cruel if the person doesn't even realize it's not a real bus stop. Do you have actual experience with dementia patients?
I used to work at a nursing home (old folks home), we had a resident named Pearl. Every few days she would get all dressed up, put on her make up and go sit outside waiting for a taxi that would never show up. I asked her one day thinking family was coming to vist why she was all dressed up, her response actually brought tears to my eyes, she said she was going to take a taxi to the train station to welcome her husband home from vietnam. Her husband died 11 years before this day.
Thank you for sharing, I wouldn't know what to say to Pearl...
My dad had Alheimer’s and every time I visited him he would say, “Let’s work on some projects together”. I would reply, “That is a great idea! Tomorrow I will pick you up and we’ll do a project together”. Of course the following day when I came over, he had no recollection of our previous days conversation. My deception made him content for the moment and moments are all they have. Little snap shots that fade within an hour or even minutes of being taken. This bus stop is an excellent idea.
In 1991 I spent a week volunteering in a search for an older woman who had wandered away from a lovely care facility in the heavily wooded Carolina mountains. It was winter. No one saw her leave, and although she was wearing a long, bright red coat, we never found anyone who had seen her. Her body was never found. Her family never knew what happened to her. Any anguish from a fake bus stop hardly compares to what she must have felt in her last hours, and what her family and friends must still feel.
I remember the news. It all seemed so far away back then. But now I am at that age....and we still put our Hospice Care facilities way out in the country....is a fence too much to ask?
My grandma was one of these people wandering off too but thankfully she was always found within the day. Still not an experience I want again. We live in a city but lived at the outskirts so there was a potential of just running into a forest or something too and there is also a lake she could have gotten into. All within an easy 15 minute walk of her apartment even when walking slowly.
@@Misses-Hippysicko
THIS is what brought me to the comments. All too often, seniors with dementia who wander away are found dead. Most seem to die from the elements or from drowning.
My Mom worked in a nursing home for many years. She had several patients who got out from time to time. Thankfully, they were always found safe, walking around nearby. My Mom is now 90 and has dementia. She's at home and doesn't want to escape but if she did, then I'd prefer that she didn't die alone, in pain and/or fear. The fake bus stop is compassionate and a potential life saver.
This story makes me weep. How utterly tragic for that elderly woman and for the people who loved her.
I wish you could tell this story to those so-called "experts" who declared the fake bus stops "cruel."
Honestly. I think it is a good idea.
My grandmother was fading due to dementia. My grandfather would get very upset because she would not recognize him, and forget all the time.
She was placed in a long term care home.
As a child I would visit my grandmother, other family members would keep trying to explain who they were, and where she was. It would get very stressful and upsetting for everyone involved.
One day I came in, and she mistook me for a classmate from when she was a child.
Rather than correcting her, I went along with it.
I told her that she was in the hospital, but she was going to be ok, and that she didn't have to worry about this weeks homework. That everyone in class is looking forward to her coming back to school soon.
She became relaxed, and we spent the whole visit talking about things from her childhood.
I kept doing it, and I got to know a side to my grandmother that neither I nor my parents had ever gotten to know.
Damn, that was a really intelligent move by you. I know it must have hurt also, that your grandmother didn't recognized you as their grandchild anymore, but she at least saw you as a person that was really important for her. (By the way, the fact that the newer impressions fade away first with dementia patients is also the reason they don't recognize others anymore - they remember them much younger as they really are. Your grandmother most likely only remembered your grandfather as a young boy, not as the "old guy" claiming to be her husband).
That was one of the best things you could have done. Your grandmother felt safe and accepted, and not irritated of demands she could not fulfill anymore. And she was able to tell you about experiences she might not have remembered earlier, so you could learn a lot about and from her.
That’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Glad you were able to somehow get something positive out of a horrible situation.
You handled it very wisely.
We use them in Canada as well - but the nurses never take the people to them. The patients often get there themselves and, after a little while (depending on the weather) a nurse will come out, tell them the buses are a little delayed and suggests they come back in for a cup of tea while they wait inside.
Yeah, I think the fake bus stops are ethical as long as the patients arent told by the nurses to wait there.
@richardharrold9736
Is it really gaslighting if it is just an inactive bus stop?
However I do think patients in eldercare clinics should get more time from nurses and excursions and stuff. (Maybe even rent a tour bus that stops there and then takes them on a tour)
@richardharrold9736 Would you rather tell them the truth? That they're suffering from dementia and living in a care home, that the people they're trying to return to are long dead and that they'll be joining them soon? All that's going to do is cause them great distress. You can't convince someone that they're living in a delusion.
@richardharrold9736 They are already "gaslighted" by their own delusions, telling them the truth will only put them in distress, because then they think you're trying to make a fool out of them.
Giving them a reality check will work in the early stages only when they are still mostly sane, at later stages it will only make the situation worse for everyone.
The degeneration of their mind is progressive and cannot be stopped sadly.
@richardharrold9736 May you never have to deal with a severely compromised relative.
My husband’s grandmother wandered away from her wonderful caregivers at home, and got in a city bus. The driver, figuring out the situation when he arrived at the bus garage with her still in the bus, took her to get coffee and pancakes. He gently questioned her and got family members names. He called the family and she was home safe in several hours. What a wonderful man!
She was getting on the bus to go to work as she had for decades.
Wow, what a wonderful person that driver is, we need more compassionate and caring people like that.
As a full time care giver for my father who has severe dementia, this is a great idea! He ran away from home 2-3 times initially, and my greatest fear while running looking for him was that he will get on a bus from the nearest bus stop!! He did however once get into a taxi from the same spot, luckily we had just installed a gps tracker app on his phone, and also we were incredibly lucky when he answered the phone one of the several times we kept calling, and happen to mention he was "going to the golf club", we were then able to track his location to the club a few kms away. They were likely the most tense moments of my life! I see this system being very useful indeed. Kudos to the Germans for thining about it and implimenting it.
As someone with an immediate family member who has dementia, I wish I had something like this for them. Balancing the things they think are true at the moment with the things that will keep them from harm, or harming themselves, is incredibly difficult. A passive solution that defuses the situation is often the best thing you can do for the person. I wish it were otherwise. I really do.
Yes, I totally agree. I'm currently looking after my 95 year old mother who has dementia. She was prescribed Paxil for anxiety. It's not too bad while the Paxil is doing its job, because she's in a good mood. But as the dose wears off she always starts packing to go "home". I think the bus stops are a relatively merciful solution to a very sad problem.
Best of luck to you! Anxiety medication has helped us a lot if that helps.
Same here. My mother (76) has been hit hard over the last 6 months, going from a slight forgetfulness to full-blown hallucinations. I prepared to cook a nice Christmas dinner, picking one of our traditional recipes on purpose, but when I got to her earlier, she was just sitting there staring at the wall. I went to clean up the kitchen and discovered she had thrown away all the food items I had bought her within the last month. She then walked in and accused me of buying expired food to poison her. So no Christmas dinner this year.
Oh, and I saved the best for last: As long as she's not endangering anyone, I can't even have her diagnosed against her will. And she's never been one to go to the doctor as long as she could say no.
I think it works for the same reason a lot of professionals nowadays will recommend that families of dementia patients (so long as it won’t cause any harm) just “go along” with their delusions since repeatedly correcting them would be, at best, pointless and tiring, or more often than not, will only serve to cause distress for the family member you are trying to care for.
@@AcidlibThat's correct. lf a dementia patient believes that someone who has died is still alive then it is just often better to pretend that they are correct than make them very sad by telling the truth. My grandmother had dementia and my dad thought that it was always important to tell her the truth. It was heartbreaking to see her become very sad every time my dad told her how the people she was talking about were dead. She was so happy when she was talking about her old friends and relatives like they were still alive and then my dad ruined everything reminding her that those people were all dead.
Yes, I know that sometimes in the Netherlands, the nursing home makes a photo of door (inside) of t patient home and put a lifesize poster on the roomdoor at the nursing home, given an sense of being at home to the patient,
Having dealt with dementia directly, it's really a "no-win" situation. You never know how they are going to respond. They can get agitated whether or not the bus shows up but letting them have the freedom to go outside and THINK things are normal until they forget tends to keep them calm generally.
Relatively calm is probably better than agitated, and that is all we have to go by. It is a horrible family of diseases that affect not only the patient but the whole family (and children seeing that their old days might not be the sunshine on the Riviera they hoped for).
Yeah but they often forget how long they have been waiting or why they were waiting for a bus in the first place relatively quickly and will realize they'd be much happier going back inside where its warm and they can get something to eat. The best thing you can do for a dementia patient is entertain their delusions. They believe what they believe and NOTHING you can say will change that. It will only make them aggravated and violent towards you as they begin to get paranoid thinking you are a lying bastard with some alternative agenda.
Both my parents suffered from dementia and I found NOT arguing with them and finding a delay tactic was effective in calming their anxiety about where they were and what they were doing there. Understanding the patient's mindset and grip on reality is all that is required. My guess is those who see this as a cruel joke have never seen (first hand) how debilitating and destructive dementia is and anything that keeps the patient safe is a positive. Both my parents "went away" LONG before they died. Anything that normalizes their world is worth the effort. I support this (the fake bustops) project.
I remember how my mom had quickly progressing dementia in her early 50's and she was keen to leave our home to go back to... our home. As in, she believed we were visiting her parents (my grandparents). She was actively packing things too, and I recall telling her that we'd be leaving "soon". She calmed down, sat down and just continued watching TV and not too long after that she forgot she was even trying to leave in the first place.
My dad tried to correct her usually, but I tried to play along, though doing that made me want to cry a few times. This was a few years ago, a bit before COVID struck. Nowadays she's in a care home and a wheelchair, not even speaking anymore and, strangely, keeping her eyes shut for some reason... but I'd like to think she understands something since she does laugh seemingly at random sentences. I do visit her still, but in my mind she's been passed away for 3+ years by now so I've come to terms with it, more or less. It's still pretty sad to visit her though.
Still, for me it was much more painful to watch her degrade in real-time. Sometimes it was actually dangerous too, she tried to burn a bag of trash in the kitchen sink - I never learned what she believed she was doing. I think she tried it twice, first time we didn't have a smoke detector and I only noticed it from the smell of burning plastic and rushed downstairs to drench the bag in water. Thankfully there's nothing super flammable in that area aside from the shelves; sink is metal and the wall has ceramic tiling. Second time was with a smoke detector, and I recall how it kinda frightened her to suddenly hear the loud beeping.
tl;dr - Alzheimer's, dementia and such? They're not very fun things, and I support these bus stops too.
Apparently in the Netherlands there's an entire fake "village" which is an old people's home. It's like 1984, with cameras everywhere, so if they fall down or have a health emergency in thier home, the "neighbours" (nurses) can "just happen to have come round" at that point. They also have money and "shops", so they have the illusion of an independent lifestyle.
This is actually similar strategy to calming a 2 year old who can walk and talk, but has no idea how the world works or why they can't do what they want all the time. Telling them no and arguing will simply make them become more distressed until they are distraught, they are not mentally capable yet to understand or rationalised with. If you let a 2 year old do what it wanted it would soon be throwing itself down the stairs and eating nothing but sweets. Distraction leads them to forgetting what they were even thinking about in the first place and they are lead to where the parent wants them to be anyway.
@@M8gazine Sorry to hear about your mom. How is your dad doing?
@@wylser Thanks - he's doing quite well. He's never been visibly sad about it (even though they had been together for ~35 years before her mind started to deteriorate, and I know he cares about her). He's never been a super emotional person in the first place (if I recall correctly, even the first few discussions I had with him about my mom's situation had him already be fairly accepting of it, as if he skipped straight to the "acceptance" stage of the five stages of grief), but it could be that he's (been) more openly sad whenever I don't see him/whenever I'm not around. I don't know. I don't really want to pry about things like that.
It is also extra rough on him because his mom (my grandma) also has Alzheimer's... but on the bright side, she has a much less aggressive variant of it and is actually cognizant and can speak and remember things reasonably well, at least sometimes. Supposedly, she's got days where she's barely coherent (according to my dad), but whenever I've visited her (mainly for big days such as her birthday and Christmas), she's been doing relatively well. She might sometimes struggle to recall who I am, or she might remember things from my childhood.
Both of those illnesses started (or got bad enough to be noticeable) at roughly the same time, within a year or two from each other if I remember correctly. Overall, it has been very impressive how well he has taken it.
I do work for an assisted living/nursing home and the building surrounds a large courtyard with a bus stop, a car [non operational] and a flower garden with safe gardening tools and such. I've been amazed to see a woman who doesn't even recognize her husband singing as she repots plants. Sad in a way but if it eases some of her anguish I guess it's a good thing.
Thank you for sharing that Patrick, the fake car seems like a good idea as well!
As a curious dutch person who worked with people who where suffering from dementia. I think this is a great idea. Playing a long often works, but when he came confused towards me asked me about his wive who passed away years ago I was always honest to him. Sometimes we went to his room to see a photo of her. Sometimes he just wanted to smoke a cigarette. It was difficult to convince him to smoke outside. I always quickly took a Jacket for him and told him I would smoke a cigarrete with him (I don't smoke ciggarettes btw, lol) I just always convinced him to smoke outside with me. He never noticed i didn't lite a ciggarete. We talked a lot a about his passed life. He grew up in Amsterdam. Still had so many memories but yet so confused. In the end of the day, his safety was our #1 priority. The reason we had his ciggaretes (as staff) and he was not allowed to smoke in his 'own' room was because he would fall a sleep on his couch with the cigarrete still burning... That fire could have easily killed him and maybe even others... One time he became very mad at me, even attacked me, for something i did for his own good. One hour later he complety forgot about it and was smiling at me again and feeling fine. Safety is the key here.
If you go to a dementia unit you often see patients carrying dolls thinking they are real babies. Others may have a cloth and they are rubbing things down - "cleaning". Sometimes a patient might sit at a desk and type away at an old typewriter - "working". All of these are similar to the bus stop. The patient thinks they are doing something and that provides comfort.
BTW, I don't think the bus stop would work in most parts of the USA since most people don't take public transportation.
My grandmother had dementia and kept trying to drive. My cousins removed the spark plugs, then she wanted the car worked on so they told her that they were waiting for a part that had been ordered. That part never arrived so she didn’t drive for the last six years of her life.
My uncle did the same thing, my grandma crashed her car and the cops took her driver license. My uncle disconected the battery and tricked her saying the car was beyond repair. When I was a kid she would drive really really fast around the city cursing everyone for being slow 😂😂😂
What does the frog say? We will drivint to the space-sector MZ-1000 !!
Why Not driving You'll get a fly-in from a driv-in or where issnT any there is now! I like funny Newspapers where is written
from thee heart off the folks!
But keep RESPEKT at the double adults and their Ownerships
In AMERICA YOU'LL GET A FULL BOX OF SENTENCE, I THINK 25 YEARS An at least YOU'LL pay for the "Nutzungsausfall"!
WHY YOUR MUST ALL DRIVINGS YOURSELF MMMRRRRROOOOOOUUWWWWW
Same! My brother did this to my Mom's car about 5 yrs ago. It's still sitting in the driveway.
@@Splucked YOUR Mom is an it? That is while the driveway's sucked and stucked.
What is happend? Any ILLUminati (get the law on it's side every time) give accident to your mother and SHE was shocked?
No apollogise, No anything?
May be I'll become a lawer I'll screw them on the street like Jesus on the cross!
You may put some orange hats sourround, iff they are overdrivven or taken no replacement.
IS IT possible to reverse the accident??
I have worked with many people who live with dementia (in canada). I love this idea. Even for people on ‘locked units’ or in ‘secure facilities’. Being able to take someone ‘down to the bus stop’ could actually help them regain a sense of dignity and autonomy. As for the arguement that it is cruel or unkind, and doesn’t ‘challenge their delusion’ - in my experience and in my workplaces, it is often best NOT to challenge their delusion. Consider this: is it kinder and better for one’s health to be told - sometimes multiple times each day that your husband or wife is dead??? The grief is fresh and raw EVERY time. THIS is what is cruel. Allow them to believe that ‘it is time to go home’; ask them to share stories about their loved one, ask them about their plans and dreams! Allowing people with dementia to experience a ‘delusion’ (not what we call it in canada, but i realize it’s just the languaging that is different) that is pleasant, brings them peace or hope or joy - is far better for their mental, emotional, and physical health. When people are feeling more joyful or more at ease, it is much easier to re-direct them to come back inside, or to join you for dinner - because so-and-so called and will be late… I cared for my grandmother at home who had dementia, and I’ve worked on locked hospital units with people who have various mental health issues - including dementia. I’ve learned that patience, kindness, and dignity are the real medicine for people living with dementia. ❤
Having a mother who died from complications of dementia… this is genius!! However I’d be unhappy being the traveler who mistook it for the real thing!😅
It's clearly labeled "Sonderfahrten" (which I'd translate as "special schedule", no regular schedule) and if you look at the timetable...wait, there is no timetable!
It's also not a major transport hub in a major city center, where you'd go to the stop, confident that some public transport would turn up real soon now, even at 3am in the night, because, you know, major city, central location and everything.
Actually, that happend to me in Frankfurt (Main), Germany, in a pretty central subway station. "Next train due in 99 minutes." WTF? Then I figured out that it wasn't 99 minutes...it was just that the display rounded down everything to 99 minutes. Whatever. Major city, central location, left the subway station and caught a cab right away. Major city, central location.
It’s actually beneficial to play along with people who have dementia. Making them feel delusional makes them sad, confused, and scared. My grandma used to live in a lockdown ward where they would leave old TV shows on as if they were new. There was always one woman with her purse trying to sneak on the elevator to get to the bus; this stop would’ve been perfect for her.
Here in Hong Kong, our local bus company “KMB” had followed the examples set in Germany, after these fake bus stops were featured in a local TV programme.
KMB shipped these authentic looking bus stops to several local elderly homes that requested them, free of charge. They even shipped one of these fake bus stops overseas, to an elderly home in Sydney, placed indoors, next to a large screen with videos of a Hong Kong street with moving traffic. It was featured in an article published by SBS.
If you ever read about dealing with demented loved ones one of the first things you learn is to stop trying to argue with them. Telling a patient they’re demented is incredibly upsetting. Being in an elderly home is incredibly upsetting. One day after school I met an old ladies at the bus stop who didn’t know how to get home. She said she met with a friend and had to take the bus to get home. She didn’t know which bus, but she knew the part of the city she supposedly had to go to. While showing her where her next bus leaves I realised she was constantly repeating herself like she didn’t remember what she already said. Namely how she’s never been at this train station. (even though it’s the biggest in the region and THE SPOT she’d have to change means of transport to get anywhere.) After we arrived I convinced her to show me her apartment because I wasn’t sure she still lived on her own. She realised she didn’t have her keys with her, I calmed her by telling her we would ask her neighbours or the janitor for help. She couldn’t find her apartment, or remember the precise address, but she knew we where at the right place. I convinced her to go to the police station under the pretence of asking for her address. (Her first reaction was:”I didn’t do anything wrong, I’m innocent, I’m not guilty” even though I had just told her we could ask the policeman for help) of course the goal was to find the seniors home she actually lives in. We did get the anwser, but for the old lady’s it was seriously upsetting because the officer kept pointing out and correcting her delusions compared to me who spent the whole afternoon working with them instead of against them. Unsurprisingly she really liked me but didn’t trust the officer. First we planned to take her home by public transport but she didn’t want to walk back to the bus stop so the police brought out their big car and we sat in the dark cold metal box in the back usually reserved for criminals or squats… again. We’re working with a demented person who constantly forgets what’s going on and doesn’t trust supposed strangers… anyway, once we arrive she was still convinced we were wrong (during the ride and after I promised we would just take a look and if she still thought she was wrong I’d leave with her and we would keep looking for her home. She didn’t recognise the senior home and didn’t want to take of her jacket until she got to talk to the indian caregiver whom she recognised and trusted and saw her room. Only then did she realise she was home but she was still convinced there was a second home she wanted to go to. A fake bus stop hits that perfect balance of giving in to their delusions, having the feel safe and in control without endangering them. Demented people are In senior homes BECAUSE they can’t take care of themselves. If I had been in a hurry and not just on my way home I wouldn’t have shown her the next bus stop and if I hadn’t spontaneously decided to go with her I don’t know how long it would’ve taken for her to bump into someone who realised something was wrong. Even while getting on the bus she almost hurt her self. The outside world is dangerous to them and not playing into their delusions as much as possible builds distrust and anxiousness. On their part their caregivers are complete strangers and most of the time forget that they have dementia. How would you feel if your in an unfamiliar place and a stranger tells you you can’t leave that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be until the end of your life because you’re stupid or mentally ill even though you’ve just turned 62. (I don’t know how old she was I’d guess 80, maybe 90. She was convinced that she was 62 and that she was a teacher. She used to be married but doesn’t have any family. And she has a very strong dislike for churches which, girl, so relatable!)
Thanks for this story. It really illustrates for people who don’t understand dementia what it’s like. Sad that the police haven’t been properly trained to deal with it as it will only be getting worse as more people age!
@@Sashazur wow, I genuinely didn’t expect anyone to read that whole thing XD
@@hollo0o583you are a great person for going out of your way and putting in the effort that you did for a stranger
bro that is genuinly heroic of you, if this was reddit i'm sure you'll have at least 5 awards
all jokes aside, this really opens my mind to how dementia affects those without next of kin to take care of them, really devastating to think about and read about
Culturally (at least in the US) the word 'demented' has a pretty different connotation than dementia.
That said, I'm glad you helped her. I wish I had known abou5lt playing along when my grandma had dementia. 😢
As someone who worked as a storage clerk in a retirement home, it is my opinion that fooling someone into staying is always better than having to inform their next of kin that their family member managed to slip away and drowned in one of Amsterdam's many canals.
The retirement home I worked for was built on a one-hectare piece of land with four long buildings along the sides. The buildings were connected by a cellar running in a loop under all four buildings. It happened several times that colleagues of mine arrived at work in the morning to find an elderly person wandering aimlessly in the basement; the record was five people. They would usually end up in the basement because that elevator button was the lowest, and they apparently did not know the home had a basement.
Did they do it on purpose or is it just a coincidence?
Wow! It's good they got lost indoors and not in the weather! Too many have died of exposure, just disoriented and wandering!
@@mrrandom1265 I honestly do not know; it might have been intentional or a happy coincidence.
The home was 149 years old before it closed and some of the buildings were rebuild over the years.
Unfortunately, it did not stop the truly determined people; we had to be vigilant and make sure one of the elderly men did not see us enter the door code while leaving.
Despite his mental state, he could be very convincing, so visitors and staff normally not working on that floor would sometimes open the door for him. (A warning letter with a photo of the person was taped to the window of the door.)
I think that it is a great idea! My mom died from Dementia, but before she died, she wanted to escape the nursing home. However, she always enjoyed sitting outside in the fresh air. I know this would have helped her since she would forget everything from one moment to another.
as someone who has been the caregiver for her grandma for the past 6-7 years or so this is truly a very thoughtful idea,
when i was uni i had biology professor that said his mother in law has dementia.
being new to my grandma having dementia was hard but his advice helped my family so much "never scream,never yell,never get mad,smile say 'yes' and than do what is truly needed to be done"
we sometimes tell my grandma we are giving her vitamins and it's meds so she takes them with no problem,she of course gets vitamins too but some meds are a must🤷♀️
and it's gets harder every time when she asks where her son is,if we tell her he's in the grave she'll lose it again😕
My grandmother died to an illness close to Alzheimer, one of my last memories of her is her asking where her husband was. She put two and two together when we said he wasn't here and she realized that he was long gone. One of her last lucid moment just to remember that her other half was gone and she had totally lost it. :(
"health experts" think this bad!? In Canada, this type of defusing redirection is a standard recommended response to dementia patients' short-lived desire to relocate - if they want to "go to the airport", by all means, get in the car and drive them around the block - that's all they need and it's exactly what they need in that moment, just a few minutes of movement - walk around the block; go to the "bus stop"...
“Health Experts” are not Experts at all….they are people with ideas about health who have worked their way into positions of influence. They usually get their views from academia as part of their qualification process. These views about treatment change with the times because often there is no definitive ‘correct’ method, it all comes down to what the current medical establishment endorses….I have seen this with treatments enacted by nurses.
@@contessa.adella so do you think it's a bad thing that we find better ways to treat people?
agree, it's straightforward and everyone's happy. they are still aware and have feelings and can enjoy life even if they're mixed up by it a bit, these are wonderful ways to help them. need to be creative with complicated health matters.
But but but Justinder offers these people of Canada free MAID services ?
@@contessa.adella YES, give some academic person a couple of titles behind their name, and they become narcissistic know-it-alls.
This is a situation where we have to pick the lesser of two evils. I feel like waiting for a never coming bus is less cruel than having patients go missing and potentailly suffer even more without the help of their care takers where ever they may end up.
Also, I would assume that the bus stop gets checked regularly. Its not as if the person will be sitting out there for days on end. I don't know how long is too long, but if a staff member comes out to collect the person after an hour or two I don't see any harm being done.
@@dgthe3 Only thing I would add is maybe a roof or even some heaters to the station if it gets colder or they sneak out at night
In versions of explanations I've read, hospital staffers were to find and encourage them to "wait inside" after few minutes. It won't take them hours in cold, to either forget what they were doing, or realize they are just fine where they are.
On top of that, I don't think it stresses them out. In their mind, they're just on the way home. It's not like they can keep track of or remember how long they've been waiting.
There have been fatal events when people walked off and weren't found quickly enough so this is definitely a better option than letting this happen. Even if it just keeps a few from not getting away and being somewhere unsafe.
As someone who interned at a senior home for about a year, we had quite a few "runaways" and i must say, the stations would be so utterly useful long-term! It would ensure the safety of our seniors, it would allow them to go outside safely and just get some fresh air and it would allow us (the nurses) to properly handle the situation without many complications.
I personally had to go out on a "man hunt" in the city twice to find seniors who had left and it was honestly horrible. It took forever to find them, it was extremely stressing for both of us, it took a lot of convincing to get them back to the home and we are understaffed and not truly equipped to handle these situations, so it's was huge pain.
In short: If these stations can help keep seniors safe and can help nurses handle the crisis quickly and fairly easily without leaving the premises, they're a good idea.
When my father first went to the dementia care facility the family members were given the entrance door code so we could let ourselves in and out when visiting. Then one Saturday noon a group of visitors were leaving in a group. 30 minutes later the staff realized that two of the patients were missing. These two were young ( younger than 60) and acted "normal" if you were not around them very much. They had simply walked out with the group of visitors. The police were called to search the neighborhood. They were found walking together towards a busy six lane street. After that visitors had to wait for a staff member to let them in or out. Sometimes it could be a long wait.
How is it possible that these people could escape? They are not safe outside, they don't have all their memories and can't remember where they are or who they are, so being unsupervised is very dangerous and possibily deadly, so I would figure that these institutions should be closed and safe so that no old person can escape, the doors solid enough and not able to just be broken.
@@nigratruo You're confusing an eldercare home with a prison.
@@nigratruo Is being old a crime now?
@@daskampffredchen No, that has nothing to do with being old. These people have dementia and they are mentally ill, they cannot function in the world without supervision. You might read up on what dementia is, it does not have a causal relationship with age, being old has nothing to do with it.
My Grandfather wandered around downtown looking for his old job one time, it was scary, luckily we spotted him before anything bad happened and he recognized us and let us take him back home.
This is an absolutely beautiful display of forward thinking prevention system to keep those suffering from dementia safe. I can't imagine what families must go through when their loved one is missing as well as for their loved one being out there confused and scared with no one to guide them home. This is really wholesome 🙏🏻
This 100% ☝☝☝
A family member of mine worked in a nursing home and one patient would only calm down when she could tear up paper in tiny pieces. So they gave her a phone book to tear apart. Patient happy, nurses happy. It's a win-win for everyone.
Unfortunately, that specific solution has become obsolete.
@@RebeccaTurner-ny1xx Perhaps, but paper phone books still abound.
I work with dementia patients as a occupational therapist.
This is a great idea. And yes, it's best to participate in a patients own reality sometimes.
If a patient forgets everything within 10 minutes, and the truth hurts them, you shouldnt work reality-based. Like keep repeating their husband died every 10 minutes, because they keep forgetting and asking where he is.
These fake bus stops are a great tool in that entire tool kit to give dementia patients freedom and dignity where possible! ❤
As a caregiver to my husband with Alzheimers, I think this is a brilliant idea! My husband often becomes forgetful, confused and delusional which creates a lot of anxiety. The medical experts recommend re directing him to another subject when he gets this way. Taking someone to a fake bus stop is an excellent example of re directing their attention and thus reducing their anxiety and return to calmness.
Nah, it's not unfair to the patients bc the sign says in red "special trips" which already tells that no regular busses will arrive.
There once was a question like this on the German Quizshow "Genial daneben" and it was also a bus stop at a nursing home aimed at residents with dementia who often had the desire to just go home and made their way to the next bus stop. In order to keep them in a safe environment they created a fake bus stop at the nursing home grounds where the carers just had to go around and collect their residents again, who just sat there and then totally forgot what for. Kinda tragic, but also smart idea.
I don't recall the channel, but there is a series of videos that explain the best ways to keep dementia patients from getting upset, and this is one of the very best ways. Those who think the patients become more upset by sitting on the bench are making uninformed guesses. The bus bench allows them to feel like they're going somewhere, and after a bit, they tend to forget why they were sitting there...at which point, it's time to go back in.
Exactly, has nothing to do with not taking them serious, but making it easier for people with dementia by allowing them to believe in what they think.
My grandpa died a decade ago and his wife died 2 years before him. The dementia worsened to a point where he didn´t really had much clear moments at all anymore. But instead of telling him we weren´t living in the 70s anymore and the nurse taking care of him wasn´t my grandma in her 30s, we let him believe himself. Because why tell him the truth if it would just hurt him in his last days.
I want to add that my granpa had a great time in most of his 97 years. That was what hammered down our decision to not tell him the truth anymore. We just sat with him, played board games and spoke about life, until he peacefully slept away
I have been working in a nursery home in Germany in my civilian service. These bus stops are a great idea!
I have had to stop patients from entering a real bus to the other side of town to "go to school"(!!!) in winter by signalling to the bus driver that he tells them the bus is "full" or whatever. If you think the fake bus stop is cruel, what do you call letting a senior who can barely walk take a bus to the other side of a town they never lived in when they were young in freezing weather? You can place them on a nice bench with a fake bus stop outside their home. Or you can let police do a city wide search until someone finds them in the ditch they fell into, then shat themselves because they could not get up alone.
Dementia is cruel. Fake bus stops are not. If you cannot tell a fake bus stop from a real one, you have no business tanking a bus.
don't you actually have like some mobile app where you can check if its a fake one
surely it won't hurt the concept since the elderly arent likely to use those apps
My father suffers from dementia, but he's still happy and sort of knows he can't remeber things. He just likes to go for walks, and wouldn't care for a bus stop. He's been known to "escape", but he doesn't go very far and the wonderful nurses find him walking around after his cunning escapes (he's an engineer after all, so sneaking of by using furniture is not that hard). He's a very good father to have, and so young!" Only 97 years old.
Happy holidays!
There's something wholesome about him still having an engineering mindset
I had (finally went to a care home) a patient with severe dementia who also had bpsd. She was such a sweet woman with the biggest (like 7 siblings and 6 children) and most loving family you could get, all day every day she sat all alone in an empty apartment. She was always sad that her children never visited and was convinced that they were stealing and drinking away her pension, and every day she cried over how lonely she was. Her children would visit every week, but the next day she had completely forgotten they had ever been there. A couple times I tried to remind her that her children had just visited, but that made her even more upset, as she would realize she couldn't trust her memories. There would be times where she was aware that she had memory gaps, and that made her very scared and sad. It was truly hearthbreaking to see.
One of the first things you learn when dealing with dementia patients is to play along with their delusions, since the actually cruel thing would be not to. This woman always talked about her siblings and parents as if they were alive. I don't know if they were, but I doubt it since she was the youngest sibling and she was in her 80s. The most cruel thing you can do to a dementia patient is to remind them that the people they love are dead. And since they forget, you would have to break these devastating news again and again and again, and each time the patient would suffer the same heartbreak.
So no, these bus stops are far from cruel.
Though I wouldn't be happy if I waited for a bus that'd never come...
I had a patient and her family did exactly that. Every time they visited she would ask where her husband was and they would remind her he was dead. This would send her into hysterics . The family would then say " if you are going to act like this, we are leaving " and leave. The patient would be inconsolable for hours. I finally was able to show the facility administrators the pattern and get them to intervene. It exploded into a huge fight between family and facility.
Some families sux.
I work in a hospital and a couple of our wards have fake bus stops to help ease some of the patients with dementia. Its a great idea and really does help calm them down. I was 100% confused when I first saw them.
As a physical therapist who worked for a long time with confused and Alzheimer's patients. I can understand the logic of this. This is a natural extension of Validation Therapy where essentially, we do not make any attempts to disabuse a patient of the mental image of what their world is, but to enter their world in order to give them comfort.
my mother has worked in elder care her whole life here in Denmark and for the last 15 years at-least its been normal to construct similar fake bus stops outside of our elderly carehomes with many who has Dementia or Alzheimer, and its NEVER been controversial to build them here, just seen as another tool to manage a vulnerable group of people. Its not seen as cruel to lie to them as its needed to lie to them all the time anyway as carehome workers dont have the time to explain to them what the details of their problems is multiple times each day, they need to get on with their work of bathing, getting them to eat etc.
I lost my oldest brother to dementia. He constantly tried to go back to a happy time in his life. In one instance he awoke and was walking down the road until my nephew caught up and asked him what he was doing. He was walking to get the truck and go hunting - the truck was a 1947 Chevrolet which went to the wreckers in the mid 1960’s. Sad to see one, once so mighty reduced to this!
The cruel thing is that none of us noticed until too late. He’d exhibited what we thought was just bad behaviour from as early as his mid 50’s and finally died in a nursing home at 84, just a shell of his former formidable self.
Do not count him as non-formidable in his last days, he was fighting until the end.
@@Zyzarda Very true! It's not his fault he became ill. Diagnosed at mid 50 and still made it 30 more years! That's a fighter right there.
This is a good idea. It's not mocking People with that illness, it is understanding their interactions with the World and working to keep them safe.
My grandma lived in a dementia home for her last two-ish lives. The institution is in a town next to her and my grandpas hometown and had a garden with an infinity path which started and always led back to a fake bus stop with the towns name on it. It helped grandma orient herself in seemingly foreign surroundings and nurses would often come pick residents up saying things like "did you have a nice day out? Thanks for waiting for me to come pick you up" or "guess the next bus isn't coming for another hour, fancy a tea inside in the meantime?" or something along these lines. I really loved the bus stop, served as an anchor for my grandma and helped calm residents.
A former coworker of mine in Germany had a problem with his father wandering off for years before he passed. It was so common for him to get an emergency call at work that his father had been found yet again hundreds of kilometers from home. I can see if there had been a fake bus stop nearby there might not have been so many panicked trips to bring the man home.
What if you had two senior "villages" that were close to each other? Something like has been done in the Netherlands where they create an actual mini-village with a food shop, a salon, a library, a fitness club. Then they could actually use a bus as a shuttle for staff and visitors between the villages while letting residents visit the other village and actually take a trip.
So a village full of people with dementia? Sounds interesting
👍
They are not looking to just take a trip though. Most dementia patients have very specific destinations they want to get to. A trip to an unfamiliar place would likely add to them feeling disoriented and ultimately do more harm than good. Maybe there are ways to make it work, but I must admit I am a bit sceptical.
The idea of setting up a mini-village is an awesome idea. Allow patients to go shopping for clothing, food, etc. Not that they need these things, just allow them to go out and enjoy doing it. Everyone in the village would have to be aware of their patients, in general (although, with modern tech a staffer could pull up specifics about patients very quickly) it could be like an elderly persons' Disney Land. They could go buy groceries and anything they don't damage or eat can be put back on the shelf for the next time. Clothing could be laundered and placed on racks to be bought again. It sounds crazy, but it could be a good thing.
@@haukenot3345 I mean, they're the ones sitting down at a bus stop without checking where it goes.
And I assume there would also be a fair chance that by the end of the bus ride, they've forgotten why they got on in the first place.
My mum has dementia that is progressing more and more lately. My experience is that the people with dementia, like my mum, usually forget what happened fifteen minutes ago. It can be tedious having to repeat our same conversations again and again, yet there's nothing we can about it other than making sure they are safe, secure, and comfortable.
A few times, my mum managed to leave our home while I was doing the errands or in other part of the house. It turned out that she remembered where we kept the extra house keys. Other time was when I simply forgot to lock the house door due to the sheer exhaustion or having so much on my mind. The fake bus stops are excellent "deterrent" in keeping the patients with dementia from wandering off too far.
After reaching a point in the dementia process, there's no point in arguing about what's real. You have to live in their world or you will upset them. My mother-in-law lived with us after her dementia had worsened that she could no longer be in assisted living. Some nights she would cry and beg to be driven home (her childhood home which longer existed). There was absolutely no way to console her. Eventually my wife would make a call from another room and pretend to be her mother, and assured her that could stay where she was for the night, and they would pick her up in the morning. It worked most of the time. if not, we would have her son call and pretend to be her father. He must have been quite strict, because that always worked.
Taking care of her had some really heartwarming moments. One evening when she could still ambulate, she was sitting on the couch with my wife. She stood up and asked my wife to stand up. She led my wife over to where I was sitting and had me stand up. Then she said, "I'd like you to meet my daughter Debra". That was so nice, of course we had been married for 30+ years at that point.
I think every dementia care should have a bus stop out front.
I recently lost my grandmother to dementia. Sometime she would believe that she was at a sleepover at a friends house (as a kid) or at work with the nurses. It was best to either work with her idea or redirect her rather than confront her with reality
So sorry to hear that.
This is absolutely the best thing to do with someone with dementia. Don't argue with them or tell them they are confused. Go with the conversation and try to redirect their attention.
This is absolute genius and hats off to whoever came up with such a simple idea and for the council/authorities to understand how important it is to let that stay.
A psychologist told me that keeping some truth from my dementia-suffering mother may be _good_ for her.
Specifically, when my mother asks about one of my sisters, I respond that I have not heard from her for a long time. Telling her that her daughter is dead made her silent and unresponsive for the rest of that day, and the psychologist says the emotional shock may have a lasting effect - speeding the decline of my mother's faculties.
Yep. "Therapeutic fibbing". My dad was already in moderate stages of Alzheimer's when his mom died. That hurt him and hastened his decline. Eventually we had to tell him that grandma was on a cruise to Panama (something she had done 30 years before) rather than keep breaking his heart over and over each time he asked where she was.
THIS is a PERFECT example of what NOT to do, and I'm stealing it.
The tree biggest stressors in anyone's life are the deaths of a spouse, parent, or child.
Loss of the child being the worst. Emotional shock has a physical impact.
If you had repeatedly told her her daughter had died, "For the first time," it not only would have sped the demise OF HER FACULTIES...
But hers, as well.
Similar story with my gran. She outlived one of her children, he died when she was in her 90s. We didn't tell her that he had died, and whenever she asked about him, we would say that he visited her yesterday. She had no recollection of this, or recollection of anything at all. She could have had a birthday party, and then you ask her later has anyone seen you today? She would be saying no, no one had seen her. 😥
We do the same with my granny. Only when she had this “everyone is dead and you just dont tell me”-season, we had to deny it and call the “dead” people with her, because she got really stressed about this. She even attended my cats funeral, which was pretty hilarious.. said cat is currently sleeping in my lap, very much alive :)
And then there is the fact that every time you tell them a person is dead, they go through grieving yet again. The next day, are you going to yet again tell them again the person is dead and make them grieve again? They can suffer the pain of the death of a person anew if you tell them that person died even if the person actually died thirty years before and they once knew that fact.
Dementia is something that constantly worries me. (It runs in my family) I'm terrified of possibly getting it when I get old. I read that learning a new language can reduce your risk of it, so I've been trying to learn multiple languages to reduce my risk as much as possible.
I'm semi fluent in Japanese and can read Korean symbols.
genetics do seem to play a huge part in Dementia diagnosis, so learning a new language definetly is a wise decision... (I can't spell very well)
I'm terrified of getting old. Dementia is a big part of why. I'm scared that i'll forget everyone and everything i'll care about.
*Forgets English entirely in elderly life*
I heard keeping your brain active helps too
"Korean symbols" - Hangul or Hanja?
We were in Müllheim with my gf this July and saw a sign that said “Night Bus at 11:30” or around that time. Our shift ended and we went directly to that stop in Müllheim Bahnhof. We waited for a solid hour and nothing was present. Turns out that stop was a fake one among the other two which were next to it and the others were active so we thought this one would be as well. We encountered some fake bus stops (at least we assumed so) along the way to our home and one of them was in Zunzingen. I love Germany and their social culture, this fake bus stop thing may sound a bit odd and stupid, but not everyone is young and dynamic. Dementia is one of the finest works of the devil and should be taken seriously
I'm from Müllheim. That bus stop is not fake, but currently not being served because of construction works around the train station. The alternative stop is a few hundred meters away on the other side, although I have to say that they didn't do a good job at making it easy to understand, especially when you're not familiar with the place.
The last line in your comment has now made me want to look up dementia in it's entirety.
There is also a scheme, whereby residents in an old folks home have the door to their room painted like the front door to their former homes, or the home they knew the best, so they could always recognise it, distinguish it from the other doors in the corridor, and feel a sense of homecoming. It’s so simple and, like this example, quite moving.
That is a sweet gesture!
My gran-in-law, whom I got on really well with, suffered dementia and before it got so she could barely move, she often made plans to leave her care home, but was always caught before leaving the building. If she had managed to escape, a fake bus stop would have been very useful, I support this idea.
She died this year.
R.I.P 'Gran Gran'....we miss you!
Sorry for your loss.
@@Zyzarda
Thank you.
My wife took it very hard. It's a horrible disease.
A practical idea!
Our mum wandered off and disappeared for 90mins later to be found by luck from a restaurant owner that recognized her and drove her back.
We were in Austria 🇦🇹 at the time and there weren’t any bus stops in that area.
There is a nurse who rides my bus who works with Alzheimer's patients and I have mentioned this idea to her in hopes that her facility would install a " bus stop" out front for the reasons mentioned in this video. I think this is a fantastic idea!!
It is a good idea, I wrote in my own post that we have a few of them in Denmark and they do work.
As far as I remember, the theory is that it is a base memory for them/us that we take the bus to go somewhere, so when they manage to wander away from their home, they see the busstop and then they sit down and wait for the bus. Then the staff a few times a day check to see if there are any of the residents who are waiting for the bus, they go down sit next to them talk with them and slowly get them to come back to their home again
We have some dementia villages, where ( and it may sound weird ) we gather elderly people to help/care for them, and they have different things to help stimulate the mind of the residents, some ie. have a chicken coop because there is a good chance that some of the residents come from a farming community.
Also there was a plan that a village was to be build across from where I live, and it would have been put in amongst normal apartments for regular families and they would use things like the bus stop, having special trained workers in the local store to help when someone with dementia would wander of and go shopping, but unfortunatly exonomy got in the way.
So hope you can get to see a village in action or at least get a bus stop like that near where the nurse works
@@bazzakrak it is sad that we can't have nice things like this in America.
It does come with some cists@@bennetfox such as one of the worlds highest tax rates.
Although IF we took the cost of education and insurance etc and put on top of what you pay in the US I got a feeling that our tax rates might not be that far apart ;)
We have the same in Australia…try waiting at any bus stop here in Sydney and you’ll end up walking away after an hour or so because the bus never turns up
I've never heard of these but now I'm definitely in support of them. I remember hearing about an elderly lady who caught a bus to an area she used to live in, but I assume because it had all changed since then, she kept walking and walking until she got tired. She lay down on her handbag for a rest in a field and that's where her remains were found. If this bus stop had been there, she may have been found before she died.
And would would happen after that? I don't have the answers, but this leads to many tough questions. Unfortunately.
I find it hard to believe that there are EXACTLY 11 of these in all of Germany, considering even my tiny rural town has one. They're likely more common than you'd think if you've never heard of them.
Great idea! Many dementia suffers will forget in a moment or two, unless you argue with them and then it becomes a point of contention. Information I learned from the book “The 36 Hour Day”.
Unfortunately we lost our Father in Law to dementia in September 2021, it is a very cruel fate nature hits many individuals with every year. You know when they reach their childhood memories their time here is very short. Many wind up with feeding tubes since the body starts loosing motor functions towards the end as well as with catheters. It’s very hard on the family towards the end seeing a once vivacious and active individual reduced to almost a vegetable. Now it was very odd on his last day on this earth that he became fairly coherent and was asking us if we would be OK and not to worry. Within a few hours he had passed peacefully into the afterlife.
A truly kind and gentle support for people with dementia. Absolutely consistent with best practice care techniques. ❤
Who ever said that cruel and bad idea thing about these, hasn't seen dementia patients IRL.
I've lost three close people to it, and it's horrible disease. Try to explain daily to an elderly person who's waiting for her husband to come home from work, that said husband died more than a decade ago. The sadness, way they miss them and especially shame of not remembering it is so devastating that we started to say that maybe they popped to the shop on their way. No need to torture her any more than absolutely necessary. She will forget her late husband in a minute anyways.
That is humane way to deal with the issue, without unnecessary confrontations with patients
In think for my Grandma it would have been perfect. She would sit down, would only take 30 seconds and she would have thought she already arrived and it is time to go inside. I did similar tricks with her without the bus stop. She wanted to leave her house to go "home", I brought her to the hall, then to the kitchen, then to the dinner room and from the dinner room finally home again in the living room. She was content again for a while.
I am a doctor and have worked with lots of patients coping with dementia. Theses bus stops are a good idea and will help calm the impulsive wishes of people who will then become easier to help
Thats the thing. You actually work with people that have these problems. The so called Experts who say it is cruel probably never even seen one
Funnily enough my grandfather with dementia was at an old folks home a block uphill from the local German club. He’d escape and end up down at the German club where they’d pour him a small beer and and call the old folks home to come pick him up.
Hogeweyk (the Netherlands) in Weesp, has a busstop as well, where people sit down.
They are allowed outside the Hogeweyk-city (inside-city) with their family that visits, not on their own.
There is a documentary about Hogeweyk. You can watch it if you want, it is on UA-cam.
This is brilliant.
Dementia is heartbreaking, loved ones lose them before their gone. This eases the pts anxiety during the time their memory likely lapse from the initial trigger, which made have been a valid moment of lucidity.
Peace and joy to all those suffering dementia and their loved ones.
I believe this intervention is a non invasive solution to a very real issue for the pts and nursing staff.
A family member of mine works in senior care and patients wanting to go home, asking for their deceased family members etc. is sadly a daily occurrence. I think what a lot of people don't get is that in germany you can't just grab the elderly and force them back into the care homes, physical contact or any kind of restriction to their mobility might actually get you into serious legal trouble. Having a fake bus stop nearby is in my opinion much saver for both the seniors and caregivers, since roads and traffic are much more dangerous to the elderly, than the so called cruelty of a fake bus stop.
These bus stops are amazing. "Tricks" like this are used more and more to make people feel more at home, usefull and more. I just hope i never come to a moment i need a stop like this myself
There are a lot more than just 11 here in Germany. I never noticed them after living here my entire life. A couple of months ago i saw one and was confused at first because i know there aren't any busses driving here. My best friend explained to me what they where but we both didn't know they where so controversial.
Like everyone else here in the comments i think they are a great idea. A bit sad but dementia is a sad and terrible disease and if it works and keeps them from running away and feeling imprisoned its good i my books.
sundowners syndrome, a sub form of stress with dementia patients is the need to go home at sundown. in my nursing home where i worked, the bus stop was often the only way to calm anxiety in residents. sad but its the very best way to help a dementia patient. and yes, buying into the de;usion also helps, by explaining reality to these guys aften always leads to massive anxiety and stress.
Insightful comment, thank you! Never heard of Sundowners Syndrome before but makes sense when you think about it.
yes, sundowners is the most common cause of stress. often late afternoon, even family members are poweless to calm the dementia patient....but a walk to bus 'bus stop' almost always did the trick. sons and daughters of patients were always commenting how such a simple concept has such brilliant results. youll find here in australia, almost every aged care facility will have a 'bus stop'@@MindTheMap
I let out an audible "awww" as soon as you said it was placed outside an old folks home. That's an incredibly smart and sweet gesture to try and protect some of the most vulnerable people, using the way they think to try and help them.
In the care home where my mother lived the last part of her life in a closed part of the home there was a bus stop in one of the communal spaces. Every morning you would see people standing there waiting for the bus to their job. after a few minutes one of the nurses would come by and have a talk with them and prpose to do something fun instead of witing for the bus. First time I saw it working I was astounded on it working soooo good. Big part of why it worked was the nursing staff, giving the patients time to calm down and only then starting to interact with them.
It's a great tool, but only as good as the people who have to work with it...
As someone with two parents with dementia, I like this idea. Dad sometimes asks me how to get from the nursing home to the shops. If he DID get outside the home, and saw a bus stop, he likely would wait there, and this would stop him wandering further, until the nurses found him. Yes, the focus should be on ideally preventing him (peacefully) from getting out, but assuming the staff are doing that, then this is a good last point of passive protection. (Unfortunately by the time I get to that point, I'll probably walk right past a fake bus stop because I've lived in this town to know that the busses aren't that regular and it's quicker just to walk 🤣)
Genius. One of my first jobs was in a elderly home. We had many who wanted to go to the bus. I think its good having it as a safety net, before they get missing.
I would think those experts would have a good point if they actually have a better idea to replace it, and approved by the people who have to work with these patients every day
There’s something like this in my town where the nursing home has an old car (but with no engine) parked in the garden and the old folks “go for a drive” to visit friends, go shopping, etc. It’s very popular with the residents. 🚗👴🏻👵🏼
Thank you for this informative video. I had not heard about these fake bus stops. While none of my close friends or family have suffered from dementia. I do have a cousin who suffers from anxiety and occasionally has panic attacks. Once when he was visiting from another state here in the US, he suddenly said he had to go home. I had never witnessed a panic attack before. We went outside where the temperature was cooler and the walls weren't so close. He calmed down after a short time. I realize this is anecdotal, but I can see how these delay tactics can be beneficial for someone suffering from dementia or anxiety. As such I don't see any cruelty in this.
this is an absolutely fascinating story I've never heard of before! I'm so glad you covered it, it really is quite the fascinating moral dilemma!
I have many relatives with dementia and had one of those go on a "long walk". I agree with this method.
Thank you for tipping me off about this. Historically, toward the end of their lives, the men in my family develop some form of dementia. For my father, it was Lewy body Dementia and that scares the hell out me. Every time I have difficulty searching for a word when trying to express a thought or when I forget where I put something I have terrifying flashes to the future and see myself rotting away in a nursing home somewhere. I am sure I'll forget about this fake bus stop concept but what if I don't? The staff at that nursing home are going to wonder how it is that I know about their fake bus stop. I look forward to giving them all one hell of a big challenge.
I subscribed, by the way, because your content is engaging and I like it. Thank you.
Trolling elderly dementia patients.
As Mark Twain once said, "The subject of German humor is no laughing matter."
Now that's a great quote!
As a person that had my father with dementia and frequently looking for him around, if it serves the purpose of keeping them safe, it’s brilliant!
It's a good idea to talk about dementia. Some patients are easier to work with than others, especially if their dementia is less advanced.
I've seen them get upset if they can't go where they want to go, but they're fine if something like a bus doesn't come.
Some say it's cruel to simulate normal experiences for them, but that's just insurance companies trying to save money. People who say that may not really understand dementia.
Dementia is hard, often more so for the family and carers. It's hard, but the truth is that people with dementia will eventually forget.
There's only so much you can do. They need a kind of mental wheelchair. Without it, it's like telling someone with multiple sclerosis to walk by themselves.
The bus stop panel clearly says "Sonderfahrten" what means that its not a stop on a regular line but the location where special hired buses can stop, for example when some senior residents will go to an excursion trip.
Here in Brazil we have this fake bus stop too. But it's because the drivers refuse to stop