The Unexpected Sabotage of Success
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- Опубліковано 12 бер 2024
- It's something we all do and it's killing your progress. But you can change it starting right now.
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Damon Cart
Coach and Teacher
Santa Cruz, CA
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Great insights as always. Thanks for all the great content you put out. This made me think about the difference of being hopeful vs. optimistic. Optimistic seem more like I've done the work and I feel good about what I've done. Hope seems to have more uncertainty. Also would love to see a video on setting expectations!
It's important to be aware of expectations and make sure you don't fixate on them. Hold them loosely and allow other possibilities to be considered. Too much emphasis on an expectation can be devastating to our state when the expectation isn't fulfilled.
I think different people have different definitions of hope. I see it as giving me energy so that I can take the action that's required. Vs. hopelessness which feels draining. Hope has energy in it. Hopelessness or despair does not. I do hear your point though, that hope shouldn't be a substitute for purposeful action to achieve what we're after.
You're still stuck in the either/or duality. Sure, I would take hope over hopelessness. Who wouldn't? But is that your only two options? What if you didn't function from either hope or hopelessness? What if you just functioned in the reality of what you have agency over and what you do not? Functioning from hope is rooted in hopelessness. Step out of the duality and function from neither, which is a much better place. No amount of hope can ever surpass hopelessness. They are connected. As long as you're employing hope, you're employing hopelessness.
In Spanish the word ‘hope’ is ‘esperanza’, which comes from the word “esperar’, which literally means ‘to wait’
That's interesting. Waiting can be something you do like waiting for a plane or a train. But there's also the mindset of waiting, which is closely linked to hope and much of what I say in this video about hope can be applied to that waiting mindset. It will keep you from progressing.
Replay- I reach for my credit card, a banana split, or the T.V remote-
But when I am determined, and not weak, I reach for my running shoes or my Bible.
Nicely done Damon
Thank you.
Replay- Finished watching the whole video, but I admit, I almost turned it off. I have watched many of your videos. This one you almost lost me when you were (kinda) attacking HOPE- which I believe is good. But, I said, let me finish listening, all his other content has been good, I enjoy. Give him this one and see where he goes. I am pleased to say.. okay, explaining it with the Rocky and Matrix movie, I understand where you are coming from. I’m a Christian- Hope is in my belief. Thanks again Damon.
Had the talk with Nate (btw), we both live in Florida. He, spoke about you being my coach with the self concept- I was very excited, till he dropped the bombshell.. lol
I am sure you know what that is… still thanks for your time and videos. Will keep watching.
Replay. Thanks
Welcome.
Values are strong, they drive culture which feeds motivation. From there comes drive towards what you are aiming for. Keep going until you get it. But don't stop there, you've got it, now what do you aim for ?
Greater and greater fulfillment.
What's the book on the shelf with the circumpunct?
'The Creative Act' by Rick Rubin
⚠10:31 1st up: that's a gross generalisation. Hope comes from a place of "Not _Consciously_ knowing" ... but that doesn't mean my unconscious or higher self doesn't know the answer, pathway, purpose, or big picture. (Is 'Hope' the narrow-minded dark side of the 'Faith' embraced by a greater self-awareness?)
So, "HOPE" doesn't _always_ come from "Hopelessness". The Frame you have used to convey this idea _Presupposes_ that 'one is only ever always Limited to extents of their conscious ego personality self.
This, in itself, runs contrary to at least two core NLP presuppositions:
1. You have all the resources you need
2. Our 'Map' is not the territory. ... parts of a greater system.
14:55 There is no "Disempowerment" in having Faith that your higher self\unconscious mind has a more ecological pathway for you that your wilful, controlling ego mind can not perceive or conceive.
16:16 I struggle to comprehend how you insist that 'hope' is devoid of any presence of 'outcomes clarity' or opportunistic curiosity.
Higher self? You have more than one self? Please explain.
There are many things I don't consciously know and yet I feel no need to turn to hope. Of what good is hope in these situations? Why can't you just accept that you don't know which would then leave you open to more possibilities?
Just as I mentioned in the part of the video that you time stamped, I'm not saying you reach for hope when you feel completely hopeless in your life. You reach for hope when you feel some degree (my exact words in the video) of hopelessness or you fear feeling hopeless. If simply not knowing something isn't scary to you, you wouldn't turn to hope. If you didn't fear hopelessness, you wouldn't turn to hope. There are many things we don't know that we never stop to hope about because we don't feel hopeless about it.
What about absolute certainty replacing hope. That's what Neo did.
There aren't many things (if at all) that we can be absolutely certain about. What's an example of what you mean?
@@DamonCart are you certain you won't get divorced again? Or are you hoping you won't? Mmmm.
@@theninthpower neither, which is why I nurture the relationship with my wife. I do what I can to make it great, but she's her own person with her own thoughts, which is out of my control. So I don't worry and I don't hope.
Hope is disempowering? Thanks Obama!
That's both funny and true.
I voted for Obama twice and have no regrets about it. However, about midway through his second term I did feel let down and I wasn't sure why. Around this time I was in my early years of learning NLP and understanding my values better. I realized that I had totally been sold on the hope that his administration was going to do something spectacular but as we neared the end of it, I realized that that hope would not be fulfilled. I see this a lot when it comes to politics especially presidential candidates. People look to these leaders as saviors and it is rooted in hope. When I think about it now, it's rather depressing to think that people place their hope on a president to make their lives better, which disempowers them to focus on what they do have control over in their own lives, which is far more than a president has over their lives.
You leave so many cliff hangers when you speak, “I’ll talk about that in a min” etc etc, is that apart of your nlp technique because it’s infuriating not enticing
Infuriating is a strong feeling. Irritating sounds more reasonable. If you're truly becoming infuriated, I would check in with yourself and not allow something like my manner of speaking to get to you that much. It is a NLP technique called opening and closing loops but I'm not doing it to be a clever NLPer. If I came right out and said what the poison was in the first minute and then spent the next 36 minutes explaining why, I would have lost the majority of the viewership in that first minute. Once people feel like they have the answer to a question, even if they don't fully understand it, they jump to the next video. On my end I can see retention graphs for every video I make. I can see exactly when people jump off of the video. It always happens when I say something that sounds like I've given away an answer regardless if I've had the chance to explain it. The UA-cam algorithm sorts for retention. If retention is good on a video, the algorithm will promote it to more people. If retention is bad, the video dies regardless of how good the video might actually be. Neither UA-cam nor the algorithm are to blame. It's human nature. So yes, I want you to keep watching long enough to get the full understanding of what I'm saying rather than leaving because you feel like you got what you came for (when you actually haven't). A good analogy for this is eating fast food. Fast food tricks your body into thinking it's nourishing you because you're putting tasty food into it but it's actually empty calories. If I had given you all of the answers in the first three minutes and you jumped off of the video, you wouldn't have had the full understanding of what I taught. It would have just been empty calories.
@@DamonCart yeah, I knew that’s what you were doing my point is that I wasn’t enticing me to keep listening because I knew it was contrived, almost like a salesman saying your name to you over and over again, I dislike all those techniques so disingenuous it has the opposite affect on me because I know what you’re doing
@@johndoe-fq7ez it was neither contrived nor disingenuous. I didn't say anything I wouldn't have otherwise said and I didn't hold anything back. I just organized it in such a way that I don't give an answer away until I've explained it first. Do you like movies? Imagine if movies started with the climax and then spent the remaining hour and a half showing how everything led up to that point. You wouldn't stick around to watch the rest of the movie. There are a few exceptions to this. There are some movies that start at the end and work backward but it only works because they leave so many questions unanswered that you still have to watch until the end to get them answered.
@@DamonCart stfu you’re so fake, nlp in itself is contriving and fake therefore you
@@DamonCart , this was my first listen on your channel and I took tons of notes. It was exactly what I've been experiencing... giving up hope, but not knowing to get to clarity, action and engaging, but subconsciously feeling that! Thanks for the impetus to change. Hope being a narcotic is powerful stuff. Your delivery was perfect. TYSM!!! There's reasons why people don't use their real names on Social. :)