I’ve been abused for 4 years. I couldn’t breathe. I was made fun of called names , blamed, and humiliated. I needed to work. I quit 2 weeks ago and got another job. It followed me! I can’t associate with people. I can’t motivate and don’t want to be around people EVER. I can’t think right. I can’t be happy. I can’t do anything. I fear people in work places.
Im glad to see this is being recognized. My last corporate job was so stressful continually for years that the anxiety, tension and worry triggered me to get Graves disease. Every day i was in so much physical pain from long term hypervigilence. When i got laid off i celebrated. When i even thought of getting another job like that i had panic attacks. Nobody in my family & friends groups understood. They just thought i was being lazy & ridiculous.
People don't understand if they themselves have never been targeted by a bully at work, at that level. Our work is how we survive. When someone is messing with our livelihood, it can feel threatening to us, understandably. I hope you are feeling better today and that you are doing well.
Yeah, our society has a massive denial about trauma because we're so distracted and disconnected from each other today though there are a lot of very real folk out there too. Work is increasingly anti-social because society is losing touch with how to truly be social which absolutely requires compassion, bonding, and presence. It seems like the workplace is adapting to catering to dark-triad personality traits and Adderall abuse. I notice a lot of these office bullies seem to be compensating for a void of inner-confidence, their primary energy source from manipulating others in sophisticated ways that go under the HR radar unless there's detailed documentation to reveal patterns. Often their "immediate" actions might be too subjective, but... the "pattern behavior" is very clear and probably one of the best reasons to document the harassment for a lawyer to review for a case if it's bad. Tired of harassment going unchecked which is why it's so rampant.
Same. Just now getting back, but at a nonprofit that isn't so cutthroat but my pay is much lower than it used to be. I still lost it at work yesterday and had a ptsd flashback to a previous layoff. The workplace is HELLA TOXIC.
Same here. I'm on the Autism Spectrum and it earned me hatred and discrimination in the office. Not only that since childhood I was often told that people like me should have been aborted or euthanized at birth. Humans can be super-evil at times.
@MMITZOFFICIAL I speculate most people in the office now are near lunatic/insanity level mental state combined with corporate leadership who do not care about employee wellbeing. Coworkers now are basically all scumbags who emulate the ridiculous personalties they watch on TV and feel its ok to throw everyone under the bus. It creates a pretty traumatic impact on people who are relatively sane and not hostile by nature.
Can attest. I’m a therapist and was absolutely traumatized by a toxic workplace. I tried to wait it out until I started a new job but had a complete nervous breakdown a month before I was scheduled to leave. It’s been two months and I’m still clearing the fog.
Yes, I am a therapist too, and can relate. I am still crawling out of the financial hole I was placed in due to the owners of the mental health group not paying the therapist on time or only paying us a percentage of what they owed us. The gaslighting was unbelievable: we are a team, we understand your concerns, and we are working on the payroll problem. I had to borrow money to pay my rent, student loans, and other monthly financial responsibilities; it harmed my credit score. I finally left, leaving me not trusting the profession I work in.
This is so true and on point! The exact thing happened to me. Very toxic work place harsh and abusive manager made me feel weak and helpless. I couldn’t leave due to financial obligation. In the end I took a gamble and left. My anxiety was soo bad to the point where I couldn’t sleep at night and would have near panic attacks. Some days were better but the fear was always there. Decided my mental state was more important. Still have triggers here and there and going back to work a new job causes me anxiety. Thinking I’ll be returning to that same abusive environment. It’s taken me time but I’m working through it.
I feel you... I was at a point where I started having anxiety and panicky attacks while I was eating breakfast, everyday, just half an hour before going to work
Quit my job last year and still suffering this entire year doing odd jobs going through motions with life - extreme anger, insomnia, and shame from the last 4 years. Feels broken, can't stand most people anymore and feel completely depersonalized most days - fell into alcohol just to feel normal but it solves nothing. It's dangerously silent - probably causing a great deal of physical health issues (from the insomnia alone). There's no way sleep is going to be healthy with raging PTSD, being thrown back into memories and toxic feelings and not remembering good parts of the self.
Thank you for sharing this information. I resigned from my work last night. Toxic environment cause me to visit hospital with severe chest pain. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
I’m right there with you, my friend. I still get quick flashes of deep anxiety and panic from just a passive thought of my last employment. Keep moving forward and searching for these resources that equip you with knowledge about the trauma you’ve went through. Remember you are a valid human being, and your feelings absolutely matter. I’m thinking about and am rooting for you! Each day can be a battle, but I believe in you. Stay strong.
The trapped feeling is the worst thing to experience. It’s horrible. I’ve felt trapped and it sends me into panic mode where I can’t function. Crippling
I wish I had someone to talk to after my workplace trauma. I was an emotional wreak for 6 months after leaving then was numb for several months after that. It has been 6 years since I experienced it and I still have triggers. It changed my dna as I am not the same person as I was before the abuse. This video gave me hope. Thank you.
I hear ya. I’ve been retired from a school district after 20 years, and that whole 20 years was filled with hearing how privileged I was because I’m white. Teachers would intentionally make me angry and then report me for making them feel unsafe. I thought it was just me until I asked around and found out that what happened to me was widespread. 20 years of having to watch everything I did and said really took its toll on me. And then there was my vice principal wanting me to give her a massage and she tortured me for two years after that when I declined. To this day, I wish I would have just given her that massage. And when you’re white, you can’t report the abuse to anyone because no one wants to be accused of being a racist for supporting a white male employee. All you can do is hold your head down and make it day by day. I’ve been retired for two years, and I’m still stressed over it.
Thank you. I'm in freeze response at work, head down, mouth shut. I'm now having nightmares and over eating. Terrified to put my two week notice in. I've been diagnosed with CPTSD/Paranoia. Thanks for validation.
Thanks for this! This is me currently. I started a new job last week, however because I was treated so badly at my last job where I felt so unappreciated and wasn’t valued enough, I’m starting to feel on edge and not as confident as I was. I know I can do the job, and I know this is the right job for me however I just have fear because of how my last job treated me.
Exactly my story , I am rocking my current job but the anxiety sometimes takes the better of me , and my manager is saying I should be more vocal and push back in larger meetings… any tips please share
I started my new job today and found this video! It’s exactly how I feel. I’m so surprised to even find this video! Thank God for someone who understands!
You nailed it! I worked for a company that felt high-pressure and "failure is not an option!" was the best way to manage people. Instead of supporting and trying to assist in making sales, I was told to "figure it out," or "you'd better make it happen." I began to dread our team meetings. I once got texted over a weekend while walking my dogs telling me I needed to explain why an event wasn't filled--that eventually got filled. This was several years ago and I'm still not over it. I wish I had never even heard of that company, but I'm gradually working through it. Thank you for posting this, it was as if you knew my situation.
I desperately needed this! I've dealt with chronic race-based workplace abuse for decades as the only POC in many work spaces. The damage is so profound that I have fibromyalgia. After 12 years not being able to work with anyone and 8 years of working for myself, I'm back to a job setting 2 years from retirement. I'm sick every day -- nausea, vomiting, shaking/trembling, intrusive thoughts, raised blood pressure and heart rate, headaches ... I'm now in therapy with a good therapist who's going to start me on EMDR therapy. For so many years, I hid what I was going through because I couldn't explain what it is. I didn't know the extent of my trauma until recently. Your video helped clarify my experience and symptoms even more. Thank you!
I've been suffering for over 13 years from a past job and some other things. I have many symptoms like you and found a little help recently that may be worth asking your doctor about. My blood pressure has been increasing lately along with some other issues but my cardiologist and other doctors said I'm fine. Finally after numerous tests and appointments my cardiologist said I may have an adrenaline problem associated with my stress, anxiety, PTSD related issues or just a separate issue but regardless he had a suggestion. He said he would let me try a very low dose beta blocker to help lower my blood pressure and suggested I get an arm cuff blood pressure monitor and test myself especially when I have increased anxiety or feel symptoms. It hasn't cured me but it has helped quite a bit. So much so I haven't needed my anxiety medication in a couple months which was the only thing that would help calm me down before. Hope this helps you or someone reading this going through what we are.
I’ve been living this for a little over a year. I never thought it could happen but I get nauseous when I have meetings. My heart rate goes up and o even went to the hospital last year because I thought I was having a heart attack (at age 32!) but it was work induced panic attack and anxiety If you told me this would be me 2 years ago I would have laughed. The way this can hijack the mind is truly unbelievable. Logically I know I am working overtime and learning things effectively. Even my fellow members comment on my work ethic and positivity, but my boss regularly insinuates I’m lazy and has taken a more callous and insulting style of critique. I’ve had nightmares about meeting with him. If anyone is suffering like this please leave that job ASAP. The longer you stay the more psychologically ‘damaged’ you become, the more you believe you deserve this abuse, and the harder it becomes to leave. Just go be free.
Thank you! As an executive, I can not express how much distress I have encountered by a tyrant CEO and coupled with being a bread winner for my family. You have nailed it!
I have it and I am struggling to go back into a work environment with groups of people. I have been so abused in work environments and nothing was done. I was harassed by a group of people every time the manager wasn't around and when I said something I was bull dozed. I got really physically ill cause of work related stress. People won't believe me when I tell them so I don't say anything.
Victoria, thank you so much for sharing your story! I’ve experienced harassment in my prior workplaces, and the psychological damage from constant abuse has affected me in a lot of negative ways. Your story makes me feel like there’s someone out there who understands how it feels to be in my shoes. Always remember you are a valid human being who deserves respect like any other person. As mentioned in this video, chronic workplace harassment/abuse is a silent epidemic right now. So much illegal activity goes on in workplaces nowadays that causes or leads to PTSD, resignations, long spans of joblessness, self medication through alcohol, etc. I’m so glad you’re seeking valuable resources to better understand and navigate through the traumas you’ve faced. That means you’re taking proactive steps toward your recovery. I believe in you and wish you the best in your journey of healing. Stay strong!
Thank you. Many of us have trauma from childhood or workplaces that are simply not addressed then are carried over to more jobs, relationships etc. Many have to ignore their injuries and keep going but that's like telling someone to get back on a horse with a broken arm. Thank you for talking about it.
I feel like I have this. Last year had a job I tried the best I ever had at any job and was a top performer for a year straight. Tried to get promoted so hard there and was past over multiple times for a year straight. Was talked downed and cussed at by my manager and never stood up for myself because I lacked confidence (still do) and I felt I needed to do whatever it took to get promoted. Soooo many work place politics and sucking up occured there but I played it and not that type of person to kiss up to someone. I've been bullied bad all throughout school, so that job was making me relive all those bad things now as an adult. Ended up leaving that job after a bad emotional outburst, because I had enough of being mistreated by people. Now I feel I can't ever try hard at a job again for fear of being taken advantage of (like in my personal life). Currently at a new job and liked it at first and felt too good to be true to not deal with those same issues. It was a new career field for me too so I was really excited. Then I was suddenly put in a different location and saw signs of my previous job with heavy workplace politics and an ahole manager. After the 3rd day there I broke down after work and had a nervous breakdown and felt like I was having PTSD over having to relive the past job all over again. Now I left the new job and feel like my experiences from my past job haunts me and am afraid to get excited about another job and try hard at it over fear that I'll keep reliving the same experience. I've never really dealt with anxiety until now as I don't get often stressed out, but I'm really feeling it now. I feel I should see a therapist but due to my past experiences from bullying and life in general, I've become a huge misanthrope and have no trust for any human on this planet. It's a toxic, self-defeatist mindset and bigger than my work place trauma at this point. But my personal trauma kind of intertwines with my work trauma. I dunno, I'm rambling and just needed to vent.
I can't believe just how much and for many decades (still)... that I thought I was just progressively becoming more and more "crazy," anxious, sickened, loathing.. by coming to work in a perpetual cascade of hostility, bullying, harassment - not knowing there's an actual term for it - *WORKPLACE PTSD* I watched this on my break while at said hell-hole of a workplace.. and practically cried. Someone speaking verbatim what I've been going through at my 32 year government job. I've been experiencing a perpetual burnout for years. Unbelievable. This video is a God-send for someone like me who is experiencing every single symptom, emotion and financial situation you mentioned...and I thought I was just sorta losing it, not knowing how to articulate my situation. Now I know I'm not alone and *not* crazy
I'm on stress leave from enduring this. Repeatedly. I don't know how to snap out of it. The thought of filling out disability paperwork is causing me major anxiety because of a prior incident where I had to fill out the same paperwork. I don't want to leave my house, take a shower, eat.
I feel this same way my friend. I was being manipulated at my job and conditioned to lie to make the company money. I went against my own morals for 2 years and it destroyed me. I had to admit my self into a mental health hospital because of attempted suicide. Now that I’m out I still can’t even look at job listings let alone go on a interview with out breaking down. I would have major dissociative episodes where I would just collapse and cry my eyes out. I sometimes Go a week without showering or sleeping yet whole day away. My friends and love d ones ask if I have found job and even that question alone sends me right back to square one.
Thank you so much for making this post. have been bullied more than once in workplaces. I know it's not my fault as I have been at other workplaces where I was not targeted. Sometimes it is just them. The bully. However, I am a nice, agreeable person. And I believe that this made the bully(s) see me as an easy target. I cannot express in words alone the impact of the bullying. I will say though, to report it early. Don't wait. It tends to have more impact if you report it early. Like the first time someone says something rude, or is otherwise inappropriate. Better to report late than never, but early is definitely better. Best Wishes.
I took a mental health assessment and this is what I am being treated for. I am a single mother and was thriving in my work, felt solid as I have been with my company for 21 years. But I got news that my job was being moved to another country and had 6 months to train my replacement. My team still needed me because I am local but they had to downgrade my position to keep me. I’m in constant fear that this will happen again and I don’t know any other work than what I’m currently doing
Thanks for the video, this pretty well sums up my situation completely. I was actually thinking about becoming a truck driver so I wouldn't have to deal with people.
I used to love working fast food until I had a GM at scream at me till I had a seizure in front of customers. All while working crazy hours, dealing with dv issues and taking care of my daughter. Living in motels or me camping out to keep my job. Had my youngest daughter stay with her sister. On top of all of it I caught covid and pneumonia. So just the mere thought of going back to fast food jobs scares the hell outta me. I've been in therapy for a few years now and just barely accepted the idea to return to fast food jobs. I loved fast food because of adhd and how well it worked for me. I appreciate your video very much. Thank you.
Thank you for explaining this so well. I experienced trauma working for a school where the admin was abusive, and the fallout of that has been so hard to work through. As you mentioned, I’ve lost confidence in myself, and I’ve also lost any ability to trust administrators; my default setting is to assume they are out to get me and try to solve every problem on my own, even though my current workplace is not like that. And the prospect of job hunting again, since I need more income right now, is terrifying. I can’t bear the thought of putting myself at someone’s mercy like that again.
I spent many years working at an exploitative office environment for all the reasons you mentioned in the video. The bullying was less direct but it was an extremely isolating environment and the managers often didn't help for my feeling of self-worth. There were even a few incidents of harassment where I overheard some very racially insensitive conversations etc. I'm at a new job now at a much supportive environment, however, I feel like I'm still stuck in automatic mode from working at the prior workplace. It's hard to "break the cycle" and become vocal and confident again.
I have expressed that exact feeling, I'm so traumatized, I can't even work for anyone one more...so many times... starting a new job after escaping a long-term severely toxic one is very difficult and can cause additional trauma...healing is important after this but you dont get paid to heal... this video was helpful and very validating. Wish there was more content for how to handle these triggers and situations when they are happening in real time at work and the toxic person is in your face pushing and wanting you to explode.... so much of your time is invested in your job just to have some weak insecure coward push your "wounded buttons" and a quick automatic knee jerk response sends you packing and starting all over leaving you feeling ashamed and as a loser! We need to know how to get ahead of this stuff not "how to try and do better next time" Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot!!!
The only solution for this problem is to guarantee people safe and supportive work places for the rest of their lives. As long as we can't guarantee that, their fear of going through the nightmare again is very realistic, and nothing can be done about it.
I've had so many toxic workplaces that I no longer work. I'm lucky enough to have a spouse 1) with a well-paying job who can support both of us, 2) no kids, and 3) is fine with me not working. I can't even think about even looking. Plus, I'm 54.
THANK YOU! I am so glad I found your video when I did. It validates what I think in my heart I already knew but haven't been able to get recognised instead being treated for the 'symptoms' not the underlying cause. I am going to share this with my health providers and hopefully this will get me the treatment I need to 'move forward' - something I desperately want to do but have been unable to. Your video gives me hope I can get better. Thank you
I worked for a large chain salon and it got so bad that I 👉had👈 (past tense )contemplated killing myself,,, I was constantly picked on, innuendos, snyed comments, I am in counseling now for it. I had went to apply for another job and did all the onboarding and the day I was supposed to start I couldn't bring myself to do it.... Why? I have over 30 years experience in the beauty industry yet I couldn't even muster up enough courage to 😢do the follow threw...
Very helpful. It’s taken me 5 yrs to be healed from a traumatic firing that wasn’t legit. I was past 65 so just retired. Didn’t go back to the profession I loved. It’s been 5 yrs now and I finally feel healed and whole. In many ways I turned it into a positive by volunteering in a cause I strongly believe in. But yes….it was life chging and it took a couple of yrs to move ahead. I just allowed myself to rest. And sometimes do nothing. Just be.
I was at a gym in Toronto, without a manager (she quit, it took them a good 3 months to find another one), I was the only trainer there for 3 months. honestly, as a new trainer, it was a dream come true. bc suddenly I was bombarded w sooo many clients that someone would have had to take a long time to build. I remember going home crying from stress... and it was exactly what it was, " being bombarded". on top of being cheated on by my ex. My gosh Oct 2022 was such a dark dark time for me.. im traumatized still, deeply.. I need a lot of help and prayers tbh :( thank you! 🙏🏼
It's my first day of work after 1 year of avoiding work, after I left work (with 2 hours of overtime on the first-day) I felt so anxious and stressed on what I'm gonna do at work the next day, everything is a lot to take in. I cried when I see my home then I ran inside and had a breakdown then hugged everyone in my family. I don't like being separated from them for a long time. I wasn't ready to work but I had to due to trying to find financial support for my family. people and work are nice there, it's just it's out of my comfort zone with too much work to be done as a new employee. everything is a rush so I came home feeling stressed and anxious. I hope I don't get any chronic stress that affects me emotionally and physically because I'm a person now my family can depend on.
@@jenniferbyrne2980Hello! I feel much better after a year as I get to know my workplace, I went to therapy and work counseling as it's been an emotional rollercoaster but I got the hang of it! 😊 thank you for checking on me! I hope you will be blessed with good things around 🙏🏻
@@TK-fm5ud oh my, thank you for your kind words! I hope you're blessed with good things and wishes 🙏🏻 it's a rough journey but I'm settled and finally comfortable working around while providing my family! 😊
This video just helped me connect the dots between my PTS from a very toxic relationship I was in and the toxic work environment that I just left. I really hope other people, even in the comments section, are able to make that connection.
I am a long term unemployed, full ethnic minority, British born and residing, adult (albeit sadly undeveloped), chronically ill, isolated, unsupported, unmarried, unqualified, impoverished, depressed, anxious, medically neglected, unmedicated, lone living, still suffering woman in England who has been repeatedly and increasingly bullied my whole life , in various settings, including at short lived but permanently traumatic workplaces where I have been verbally, physically, financially and racially attacked. Believe it or not, none of the perpetrators have ever faced any consequences and never have I received even an apology. My life is not worth living especially when I am in need and rotting away whilst they are comfortable, unbothered and thriving. Not a day has passed without enduring severe trauma. I do not have access to therapy. I am 28 on Tuesday. I am enduring far too much meaningless hardship. When does it end?
I worked in ICU for 20 years. I'm retired but still have stress dreams regarding that job. My friend Rn who is retired also having the dreams. Any hope?
First workplace trauma occurred at my first post college job in 2009 when I had a job pulled out from my feet then won an award for the work I did there, after I was terminated. I then had to fight to get unemployment from the company after they terminated me w/o cause. To make this worse I was an AmeriCorps volunteer so I made no money and had signed on for another year before they pulled the contract, a month before I was supposed to start the second year. I also had deferred my enrollment into graduates school in order to do this position. Since then I’ve struggled to get my career off the ground despite going to graduate school and experienced much much much more workplace trauma.
Thank you for making this video. I'm a first generation asian immigrant who grew up working in my parents restaurant and know it messed me up mentally with my relationship to work. When I'm in a new job, its survival mode to figure things out but once I get kind of comfortable I feel trapped and anxious and it just gets worse and worse the longer I stay. I've managed to stay at my current job for 1 year before asking to be fired. I know its not the work that bothers me. When I get stuck into doing the tasks, its fine. But when I think about my job or my future I an feeling light headed, anxious or at worst, disassociate. I really want to fix this. I don't want to keep changing jobs. This is my 4th career and I know its good. I just cant get my feelings to calm down.
Thank you so much for making this video. I had a really bad experience last year, and it took me a while to find another work situation that was healthy/good/bearable. This really helped me to understand the thoughts I was having. I had a friend go through this years ago too, but I didn't know how to empathize for her or help her. So I'm glad to find a resource on this topic!
I have this from an extremely stressful and intense job I had 14 years ago. I had a family member tell me I couldn't have PTSD because I wasn't in the military. I know that's not true but it hurts to think so many people have so many misconceptions about this.
Thank you! Its the first time someone describe exactly how i feel every day. I work as a Team Leader in a manufacturing facility and nobody see us like the kind of employees who could develop PTSD.
I cannot thank you enough for this. I just sent it to my family and my therapist, because they all added to my hopelessness, and it's been a horrible and lonely experience.
I have been on sick leave almost for 2 months but every time I think about going back to work, I feel so anxious and stressed. Hard to breath and seeing nightmares from work when I just think about it. Even to work anywhere, I’m not ready for it yet. What can I do? I was diagnosed with PTSD symptoms.
I believe this is me. I got picked by black kids through out my childhood and young adulthood. The last office job I had the same thing started to happen after I got hired on full time. They were nasty. I eventually became a truck driver after that experience. I'm tired of this field and I want something new but I'm afraid to go back to an everyday work environment. I'm terrified actually. I'm estranged from my family and I'm not as close to my friends anymore. I feel really alone. I always feel like I'm being picked on.
Me too, it was white racist hyperviolent males who attacked me. I have been living off of kindness of boyfriend for years now shamed to say, as its not true love, a lot of fear keeps me in this abusive situation. Looking for at home work now, learning about trauma and reading more to try and rewire the brain. A good read is 'the body keeps the score' bessel van der kolk
@@Exiria ONCE I LOST MY JOB WRONGFUL TERMINATION I WAS HOMELESS MOVED IN WITH A STRANGER WHO WAS VERBALLY ABUSIVE FOR 4 YEARS WHILE I WAITED FOR A ONE BEDROOM APT EEOC RULED THAT USPS WAS FOUND GUILTY OF DISCRIMINATION OVER 5 YEARS AGO AN I STILL AM WAITING ON MY BACKPAY AND TO BE MADE WHOLE AS THE EEOC RULED. A LAWYER FIRM TOOK MY CASE PRO BONO IM NOW ON FOOD STAMPS LIVING IN THE PROJECTS OR SHALL I SAY THE HOOD. I HAVE PTSD AND I PLAN ON FILING FOR DISABILITY SOON 🙏 IM 55 NOW I NEVER WILL RECOVER FROM THE HARRASSMENT BULLYING HOSTILE WORK PLACE USPS!!!!
I've had 3 toxic bosses in a row after 2000. I'm retired now, but before 2000 I never ran into it. I'm wondering what has changed to be causing this nowadays.
currently dealing with this right now and keep getting stuck in freeze mode and having panic attacks. The worst part of it is she doesn't treat everyone this way and puts on a good show of being a good person so I can't even get upper management to believe me. REALLY SUCKS!!
Terminated without cause from an executive career 18 months ago. Bullied and gaslit for months before. The terror and helplessness was crushing and the loss of livelihood and my home was devastatingly traumatic. I have not recovered and deal with ongoing ptsd. My confidence and hope is in tatters
Here because of my experience. The repeated retaliation that happened after I left was like being stabbed in the back after 2 years of being stabbed in the gut. The “POW camp” is the perfect metaphor! I was told to “suck it up” because it’s just your turn and he’ll move on to someone else
If it's debilitating you should take care of yourself first. Yes, easier said than done but many people at "work" are walking around very injured and unhealthy.
This is strange I relate with most of these points. I’ll have to look in to it; not to lean towards it but to understand where I can find the help to mitigate it. I do not want to feel like I can’t work; but I would like that confidence.
Thank you for your unique perspectives, via connecting the dots, which many counselors don't comprehend, or explain. Everything you said was fulfilling to hear.
Sometimes it’s not even necessarily abusive people in a workplace. I t can be traumatic conditions in your industry creating a feeling of drowning and helplessness. No matter what you do, you will never be able to accomplish those things your job demands with the resources available to you. This is my case. Especially in the last 20 years I’ve struggled with incredible anxiety and alcoholism. I’ve had suicidal thoughts on several occasions through the years. I finally quit alcohol 8 months ago. I retire in 3 months. I can tell you, I would NEVER go down the same career path I have gone. I see young guys getting into our industry and I just want to tell them to get out while they still can. Of course I can’t do that because I’m a department manager. I have to be a cheerleader, even though every fiber of my being feels hopeless. Money isn’t everything. Happiness needs to come first.
Yes and some industries and jobs including professorships etc are so much like this and those jobs aren’t only a job they r people identity and any bully there means huge to someone s core
I recently had an employer from a job 6 years ago reach out for a great opportunity at their new company...however, the toxicity of that past work environment still has me absolutely spiraling just thinking back already feeling a huge rush of negative distress and flashbacks... I absolutely declined. Thankfully I'm fully employed with a developer role now that doesn't involve the same environment. High-functioning autism is really complicated in the conventional office setting.
Unfortunately I had two Toxic bosses back to back, the first one was intimidating and always humiliating and comparing to other colleagues, he had a poor manager rating and would take out his frustration on the team, internally looked for another role the other manager was worse… always threatening with consequences if exactly not done to her wishes. Frantically looked for an external role and quit. But I still feel so much anxiety, and engaging with people feels very stressful.
I find that my mental health “team” minimizes my perspective about escalating traumatic stressors experienced for past thirty years. Dysregulation is associated with “anxiety associated with depression”. Also as a 50+ female late diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar 2 two years ago has been bittersweet. I’m seen as a drama queen because my immaturity (undiagnosed autistic traits per my research) is seen as entitlement and manipulation. I have chronic stress around work and can no longer function adequately in my profession. I am trying to adapt to a lower income due to cycles of unemployment/underemployment. Bad references follow me and gatekeepers are blocking opportunities for even entry level jobs. I feel like my very presence is a hinderance to team work environments because they perceive me as having accomplished things in my career (that they want) that I don’t deserve.
I was pushed into managing a good friend of mine. Even after raising concerns , the pressure remained. He decided to take his life. Things haven’t been the same since. I have a tough time making it through the day , let alone all the other crap that comes from other people. Not sure how I am gonna find an existence at this point.
I love my career but feel trapped with an OCPD/narcissist manager. So much of my attention is spent Gray Rocking his disordered personality that it feels like my career has become frozen. He is constantly looking for a fight, but also seems frightened and scornful now that I don't take the bait. I'm in therapy and all that but I am definitely desiring a new experience with healthier relationships.
I think I have a severe trauma in regards to work. Since I can remember myself I was always excited and really enjoyed working rather than studying. So after I graduaded from university I was excited to find my first job. My aunt and grandma both were working at the same bank. My grandma was cleaning there and my aunt has a high position. My aunt told me there is a "great opportunity" in the call center of the bank and I should send my CV. And I sent it. While I was waiting to call me for an interview my grandma went behind my back and talked and almost begged the managers to call me and hire me because "I live with a single mum and I'm poor and I need the money to help my mum". So they did call me for interview and they really liked me so they hired me. I felt so offended hearing what my grandma did because my colleagues were thinking I was using my family to get in and I didn't deserve the position. From the beginning people were looking at me suspiciously and they had a bad image for me, my boss too he didn't like me. So all of them were treating me so badly, gossiping behind my back saying nasty things that weren't true like I was flirting with married men there, I'm too stupid for the job, Im only there because of my family etc. In general though the position was toxic. We werent allowed to take breaks until there is no calls waiting. This could mean 5-7 hours without using toilet or eating! And when they allowed breaks it was only 15 mins max. We were expected to work overtimes. They kept calling us on any day and any time of the weak to go at work and help and if we refused we were selfish and bad employees. The clients of the bank that were calling were always angry and negative because our boss were telling us to not talk more than 3-5 mins with every customer so we can show off that as a bank we take more calls than other banks. And my collegues followed his orders. And clients were angry that they called 3 4 5 times and nobody helped them. And their valid negativity affected me if u think we didnt have breaks and EVERYDAY they were asking for overtimes. Banks are closed at the weekend and THEY WERE TAKING US TO WORK AT WEEKEND TOO. We all tried to complain to the boss and his reaction "whoever thinks that is lazy or weak and cannot get along he can come to my office to announce me that he quits". And the majory of them quitted. When I told my family I'm burned out and I want to quit they said bad things to me. So I stayed 3 more months.. I couldnt handle it I put 20kg because I couldnt eat at work and I was obsessively eating home. It was my way of eating because I was hungry all day and cope with my anxiety levels. I eventually gathered the strength and quitted. Then my mum was crying that I'm acting as a child and we wouldn't have money to pay house bills and my extended family was angry with me. It's been 1 year and a half family and friends are asking me if I found another job and they lecture me for how I seem not interested to find one and they are really shaming me!!! They even tried 2 times to find me another job and I said thank u for caring but I want to find things on my own with my own worth this time. And they shame me for turning opportunities down and they excluded me for the family. My mum is more kind but I can feel her disappointment in me. They dont understand what I've been through. They think I was overreacting and they dont realise I'M TERRIFIED to find another job right now. I do care and feel bad that I left and Im still unemployed but I really need my time to heal. I have severe panic attacks when I think of workplace and working and I can't sleep most nights. Do what's best for you even if it means to ignore certain people that cannot understand you. 🙁
Same. Unemployed between 3 toxic, abusive jobs during Covid in Philly (rudest city in the US... Wish I'd never even set foot there) and now I can't bring myself to look for another office job and am working a menial job and trying to figure out a way to work in nature or with animals to NEVER go through that exact hell ever again!
I spent 20 years in a Southern California school district, and just retired two years ago, and I still stress out about it. Being a white male school custodian was pure Hell. As a man in maintenance, you’re treated like a kid by the teaching staff, and if you talk back you get reported for making them feel intimidated. What happens a lot is that custodians are intentionally pushed to the point to where they start getting angry and talking back, and then get reported for improper behavior. My last two years were spent at a small elementary school that had a principal that I was warned about in advance for not liking white people, and I have to say I believe it from the way she talked to me. To make matters worse, my coworker, a female custodian, told me consistently how much SHE didn’t like white men, and I had no one to report all of this too. She would watch me and tell the principal everything that she saw wrong with my work. I eventually collapsed at work from the stress, and had to be taken to the hospital. No one asked me if I was ok when I came back to work two days later. A couple of months later a water fountain fell on me, and took out my right leg. The principal never left her desk and the secretary only told me to leave my keys on campus. And I was limping the whole time. It’s sad when you’re hated so much at work that you’re glad you went to the hospital and have to go to Workmans comp. Work place trauma is no joke. I still suffer from it, but don’t tell anyone because I don’t want to hear that I don’t count because I never went to war.
Thanks for this video. I had a trauma at work, they put me to come at work even if the managers know that i have covid. Everybody knew about that and they avoid me. I didn't know what's happening. I left home at half shift. I get home and i tried to suicide myself. I suffer about depression and my managers knew about this but they didn't care about me. What i can do ? I am desperate 😭. Thank you
Sorry I literally meant, which Tuesday at @ 7:14. I want to be fully prepared, while, “knowing my own time frame” What I’m asking is. Can YOU be more specific about THE TIMEFRAME I WILL BE WITH YOU? So I… can GET WHAT I NEED DONE? I’m literally not yelling…. I just don’t know how to ask what I don’t know. So what’s the plan?
Man I deal with this right now , it sucks so bad , I’ve learned to be Strong and come to terms with what happened to me before hand. I was bullied and verbally abused , I thought I had to “tolerate” the disrespect for the sake of obligatory reasons such as having to pay bills or you just need to suck it up ! I had a Misconception and I know the root cause of it was because I knew I should’ve stood up for myself and didn’t because of dumb culture .
I’ve been abused for 4 years. I couldn’t breathe. I was made fun of called names , blamed, and humiliated. I needed to work. I quit 2 weeks ago and got another job. It followed me! I can’t associate with people. I can’t motivate and don’t want to be around people EVER. I can’t think right. I can’t be happy. I can’t do anything. I fear people in work places.
Same here..just reading your experience makes it's hard for me to breathe suddenly..
Too many people taking their shit out on others
Taking 3 weeks to do nothing worked for me
I know how you feel. I can barely be around family or friends anymore, it's suffocating. No one feels safe anymore
@@richard975I thought I'd be the same and now it's been 3 months....on to therapy!
Abusive management caused PTSD
Im glad to see this is being recognized. My last corporate job was so stressful continually for years that the anxiety, tension and worry triggered me to get Graves disease. Every day i was in so much physical pain from long term hypervigilence. When i got laid off i celebrated. When i even thought of getting another job like that i had panic attacks. Nobody in my family & friends groups understood. They just thought i was being lazy & ridiculous.
People don't understand if they themselves have never been targeted by a bully at work, at that level. Our work is how we survive. When someone is messing with our livelihood, it can feel threatening to us, understandably. I hope you are feeling better today and that you are doing well.
I talked about this subject to my GP and I got gaslighted. He had no idea which obviously not helpful at all.
I UNDERSTAND!!!!!!
Yeah, our society has a massive denial about trauma because we're so distracted and disconnected from each other today though there are a lot of very real folk out there too.
Work is increasingly anti-social because society is losing touch with how to truly be social which absolutely requires compassion, bonding, and presence.
It seems like the workplace is adapting to catering to dark-triad personality traits and Adderall abuse. I notice a lot of these office bullies seem to be compensating for a void of inner-confidence, their primary energy source from manipulating others in sophisticated ways that go under the HR radar unless there's detailed documentation to reveal patterns. Often their "immediate" actions might be too subjective, but... the "pattern behavior" is very clear and probably one of the best reasons to document the harassment for a lawyer to review for a case if it's bad. Tired of harassment going unchecked which is why it's so rampant.
Here because of ptsd from the office environment. Has left me unemployed for 2 years now
5 years
Respect
Same. Just now getting back, but at a nonprofit that isn't so cutthroat but my pay is much lower than it used to be. I still lost it at work yesterday and had a ptsd flashback to a previous layoff. The workplace is HELLA TOXIC.
Same here. I'm on the Autism Spectrum and it earned me hatred and discrimination in the office. Not only that since childhood I was often told that people like me should have been aborted or euthanized at birth.
Humans can be super-evil at times.
@MMITZOFFICIAL I speculate most people in the office now are near lunatic/insanity level mental state combined with corporate leadership who do not care about employee wellbeing.
Coworkers now are basically all scumbags who emulate the ridiculous personalties they watch on TV and feel its ok to throw everyone under the bus.
It creates a pretty traumatic impact on people who are relatively sane and not hostile by nature.
Can attest. I’m a therapist and was absolutely traumatized by a toxic workplace. I tried to wait it out until I started a new job but had a complete nervous breakdown a month before I was scheduled to leave. It’s been two months and I’m still clearing the fog.
Yes, I am a therapist too, and can relate. I am still crawling out of the financial hole I was placed in due to the owners of the mental health group not paying the therapist on time or only paying us a percentage of what they owed us. The gaslighting was unbelievable: we are a team, we understand your concerns, and we are working on the payroll problem. I had to borrow money to pay my rent, student loans, and other monthly financial responsibilities; it harmed my credit score. I finally left, leaving me not trusting the profession I work in.
This is so true and on point! The exact thing happened to me. Very toxic work place harsh and abusive manager made me feel weak and helpless. I couldn’t leave due to financial obligation. In the end I took a gamble and left. My anxiety was soo bad to the point where I couldn’t sleep at night and would have near panic attacks. Some days were better but the fear was always there. Decided my mental state was more important. Still have triggers here and there and going back to work a new job causes me anxiety. Thinking I’ll be returning to that same abusive environment. It’s taken me time but I’m working through it.
I feel every single word - deeply.
Exactly the same here , word by word as you has mentioned.
Damn! Same but how to deal with it
going thru that right now.
I feel you... I was at a point where I started having anxiety and panicky attacks while I was eating breakfast, everyday, just half an hour before going to work
Quit my job last year and still suffering this entire year doing odd jobs going through motions with life - extreme anger, insomnia, and shame from the last 4 years. Feels broken, can't stand most people anymore and feel completely depersonalized most days - fell into alcohol just to feel normal but it solves nothing.
It's dangerously silent - probably causing a great deal of physical health issues (from the insomnia alone). There's no way sleep is going to be healthy with raging PTSD, being thrown back into memories and toxic feelings and not remembering good parts of the self.
So sorry to hear, I know the feeling. I hope you’re going better now
I agree.
Thank you for sharing this information. I resigned from my work last night. Toxic environment cause me to visit hospital with severe chest pain. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Wow, I never felt at all understood until I watched this video.
Feeling trapped was huge for me in my last job. Almost 3 years ago and I'm still working through the issues. This video gave me hope so thank you.
I’m right there with you, my friend. I still get quick flashes of deep anxiety and panic from just a passive thought of my last employment.
Keep moving forward and searching for these resources that equip you with knowledge about the trauma you’ve went through. Remember you are a valid human being, and your feelings absolutely matter.
I’m thinking about and am rooting for you! Each day can be a battle, but I believe in you. Stay strong.
The trapped feeling is the worst thing to experience. It’s horrible. I’ve felt trapped and it sends me into panic mode where I can’t function. Crippling
It has been 4 and a half years for me, and I am still shake sometimes.
I wish I had someone to talk to after my workplace trauma. I was an emotional wreak for 6 months after leaving then was numb for several months after that. It has been 6 years since I experienced it and I still have triggers. It changed my dna as I am not the same person as I was before the abuse. This video gave me hope. Thank you.
I hear ya. I’ve been retired from a school district after 20 years, and that whole 20 years was filled with hearing how privileged I was because I’m white. Teachers would intentionally make me angry and then report me for making them feel unsafe. I thought it was just me until I asked around and found out that what happened to me was widespread.
20 years of having to watch everything I did and said really took its toll on me.
And then there was my vice principal wanting me to give her a massage and she tortured me for two years after that when I declined. To this day, I wish I would have just given her that massage.
And when you’re white, you can’t report the abuse to anyone because no one wants to be accused of being a racist for supporting a white male employee. All you can do is hold your head down and make it day by day.
I’ve been retired for two years, and I’m still stressed over it.
Thank you. I'm in freeze response at work, head down, mouth shut. I'm now having nightmares and over eating. Terrified to put my two week notice in. I've been diagnosed with CPTSD/Paranoia. Thanks for validation.
Thanks for this! This is me currently. I started a new job last week, however because I was treated so badly at my last job where I felt so unappreciated and wasn’t valued enough, I’m starting to feel on edge and not as confident as I was. I know I can do the job, and I know this is the right job for me however I just have fear because of how my last job treated me.
Totally feeling you😭 let’s put the past behind
I felt every word you said. I'm exactly on the same place.
Exactly my story , I am rocking my current job but the anxiety sometimes takes the better of me , and my manager is saying I should be more vocal and push back in larger meetings… any tips please share
I started my new job today and found this video! It’s exactly how I feel. I’m so surprised to even find this video! Thank God for someone who understands!
You nailed it! I worked for a company that felt high-pressure and "failure is not an option!" was the best way to manage people. Instead of supporting and trying to assist in making sales, I was told to "figure it out," or "you'd better make it happen." I began to dread our team meetings. I once got texted over a weekend while walking my dogs telling me I needed to explain why an event wasn't filled--that eventually got filled. This was several years ago and I'm still not over it. I wish I had never even heard of that company, but I'm gradually working through it. Thank you for posting this, it was as if you knew my situation.
I desperately needed this! I've dealt with chronic race-based workplace abuse for decades as the only POC in many work spaces. The damage is so profound that I have fibromyalgia. After 12 years not being able to work with anyone and 8 years of working for myself, I'm back to a job setting 2 years from retirement. I'm sick every day -- nausea, vomiting, shaking/trembling, intrusive thoughts, raised blood pressure and heart rate, headaches ... I'm now in therapy with a good therapist who's going to start me on EMDR therapy. For so many years, I hid what I was going through because I couldn't explain what it is. I didn't know the extent of my trauma until recently. Your video helped clarify my experience and symptoms even more. Thank you!
Same here. I read a lot of coments of people suffering from 12 years. Was wondering if the bullying happened during the great recession.
I've been suffering for over 13 years from a past job and some other things. I have many symptoms like you and found a little help recently that may be worth asking your doctor about. My blood pressure has been increasing lately along with some other issues but my cardiologist and other doctors said I'm fine. Finally after numerous tests and appointments my cardiologist said I may have an adrenaline problem associated with my stress, anxiety, PTSD related issues or just a separate issue but regardless he had a suggestion. He said he would let me try a very low dose beta blocker to help lower my blood pressure and suggested I get an arm cuff blood pressure monitor and test myself especially when I have increased anxiety or feel symptoms. It hasn't cured me but it has helped quite a bit. So much so I haven't needed my anxiety medication in a couple months which was the only thing that would help calm me down before.
Hope this helps you or someone reading this going through what we are.
I'm so sorry, I understand what you're going through
I’ve been living this for a little over a year. I never thought it could happen but I get nauseous when I have meetings. My heart rate goes up and o even went to the hospital last year because I thought I was having a heart attack (at age 32!) but it was work induced panic attack and anxiety
If you told me this would be me 2 years ago I would have laughed. The way this can hijack the mind is truly unbelievable. Logically I know I am working overtime and learning things effectively. Even my fellow members comment on my work ethic and positivity, but my boss regularly insinuates I’m lazy and has taken a more callous and insulting style of critique. I’ve had nightmares about meeting with him.
If anyone is suffering like this please leave that job ASAP. The longer you stay the more psychologically ‘damaged’ you become, the more you believe you deserve this abuse, and the harder it becomes to leave. Just go be free.
Thank you! As an executive, I can not express how much distress I have encountered by a tyrant CEO and coupled with being a bread winner for my family. You have nailed it!
I have it and I am struggling to go back into a work environment with groups of people. I have been so abused in work environments and nothing was done. I was harassed by a group of people every time the manager wasn't around and when I said something I was bull dozed. I got really physically ill cause of work related stress. People won't believe me when I tell them so I don't say anything.
Victoria, thank you so much for sharing your story! I’ve experienced harassment in my prior workplaces, and the psychological damage from constant abuse has affected me in a lot of negative ways. Your story makes me feel like there’s someone out there who understands how it feels to be in my shoes.
Always remember you are a valid human being who deserves respect like any other person. As mentioned in this video, chronic workplace harassment/abuse is a silent epidemic right now. So much illegal activity goes on in workplaces nowadays that causes or leads to PTSD, resignations, long spans of joblessness, self medication through alcohol, etc.
I’m so glad you’re seeking valuable resources to better understand and navigate through the traumas you’ve faced. That means you’re taking proactive steps toward your recovery.
I believe in you and wish you the best in your journey of healing. Stay strong!
I m so sorry but what your say hits home! I hope you gradually feel better. It takes lots of time.
Dealing with harassment now. It’s super common in the workplace. I will always advocate for myself so these bullies don’t win.
Good for you…. Stay strong and give it to them!
I SUED!!!! I NEVER had these diagnoses until I worked at my previous severely toxic environment
Thank you. Many of us have trauma from childhood or workplaces that are simply not addressed then are carried over to more jobs, relationships etc.
Many have to ignore their injuries and keep going but that's like telling someone to get back on a horse with a broken arm. Thank you for talking about it.
Finally someone talking about this!
I feel afraid of people thinking I’m weird so I kept going but slowly I stop showing up then just quit which comes with a lot of shame
I feel like I have this. Last year had a job I tried the best I ever had at any job and was a top performer for a year straight. Tried to get promoted so hard there and was past over multiple times for a year straight. Was talked downed and cussed at by my manager and never stood up for myself because I lacked confidence (still do) and I felt I needed to do whatever it took to get promoted. Soooo many work place politics and sucking up occured there but I played it and not that type of person to kiss up to someone. I've been bullied bad all throughout school, so that job was making me relive all those bad things now as an adult. Ended up leaving that job after a bad emotional outburst, because I had enough of being mistreated by people. Now I feel I can't ever try hard at a job again for fear of being taken advantage of (like in my personal life). Currently at a new job and liked it at first and felt too good to be true to not deal with those same issues. It was a new career field for me too so I was really excited. Then I was suddenly put in a different location and saw signs of my previous job with heavy workplace politics and an ahole manager. After the 3rd day there I broke down after work and had a nervous breakdown and felt like I was having PTSD over having to relive the past job all over again. Now I left the new job and feel like my experiences from my past job haunts me and am afraid to get excited about another job and try hard at it over fear that I'll keep reliving the same experience. I've never really dealt with anxiety until now as I don't get often stressed out, but I'm really feeling it now. I feel I should see a therapist but due to my past experiences from bullying and life in general, I've become a huge misanthrope and have no trust for any human on this planet. It's a toxic, self-defeatist mindset and bigger than my work place trauma at this point. But my personal trauma kind of intertwines with my work trauma. I dunno, I'm rambling and just needed to vent.
I can't believe just how much and for many decades (still)... that I thought I was just progressively becoming more and more "crazy," anxious, sickened, loathing.. by coming to work in a perpetual cascade of hostility, bullying, harassment - not knowing there's an actual term for it -
*WORKPLACE PTSD*
I watched this on my break while at said hell-hole of a workplace.. and practically cried.
Someone speaking verbatim what I've been going through at my 32 year government job.
I've been experiencing a perpetual burnout for years.
Unbelievable.
This video is a God-send for someone like me who is experiencing every single symptom, emotion and financial situation you mentioned...and I thought I was just sorta losing it, not knowing how to articulate my situation.
Now I know I'm not alone and *not* crazy
I'm on stress leave from enduring this. Repeatedly. I don't know how to snap out of it. The thought of filling out disability paperwork is causing me major anxiety because of a prior incident where I had to fill out the same paperwork.
I don't want to leave my house, take a shower, eat.
I feel this same way my friend. I was being manipulated at my job and conditioned to lie to make the company money. I went against my own morals for 2 years and it destroyed me. I had to admit my self into a mental health hospital because of attempted suicide. Now that I’m out I still can’t even look at job listings let alone go on a interview with out breaking down. I would have major dissociative episodes where I would just collapse and cry my eyes out. I sometimes Go a week without showering or sleeping yet whole day away. My friends and love d ones ask if I have found job and even that question alone sends me right back to square one.
Praying to God will help 🙏
Thank you so much for making this post. have been bullied more than once in workplaces. I know it's not my fault as I have been at other workplaces where I was not targeted. Sometimes it is just them. The bully. However, I am a nice, agreeable person. And I believe that this made the bully(s) see me as an easy target. I cannot express in words alone the impact of the bullying. I will say though, to report it early. Don't wait. It tends to have more impact if you report it early. Like the first time someone says something rude, or is otherwise inappropriate. Better to report late than never, but early is definitely better. Best Wishes.
I took a mental health assessment and this is what I am being treated for. I am a single mother and was thriving in my work, felt solid as I have been with my company for 21 years. But I got news that my job was being moved to another country and had 6 months to train my replacement. My team still needed me because I am local but they had to downgrade my position to keep me. I’m in constant fear that this will happen again and I don’t know any other work than what I’m currently doing
Thanks for the video, this pretty well sums up my situation completely. I was actually thinking about becoming a truck driver so I wouldn't have to deal with people.
Same!!!!!
Trader
@@TheVopz 😂😂😂
Thanks for putting it out there! More people need to know about this, for the longest time I kept blaming myself (still do some times).
I used to love working fast food until I had a GM at scream at me till I had a seizure in front of customers. All while working crazy hours, dealing with dv issues and taking care of my daughter. Living in motels or me camping out to keep my job. Had my youngest daughter stay with her sister.
On top of all of it I caught covid and pneumonia. So just the mere thought of going back to fast food jobs scares the hell outta me. I've been in therapy for a few years now and just barely accepted the idea to return to fast food jobs. I loved fast food because of adhd and how well it worked for me. I appreciate your video very much. Thank you.
Hang in there
@@homebody61 Thank you 💕
Thank you for explaining this so well. I experienced trauma working for a school where the admin was abusive, and the fallout of that has been so hard to work through. As you mentioned, I’ve lost confidence in myself, and I’ve also lost any ability to trust administrators; my default setting is to assume they are out to get me and try to solve every problem on my own, even though my current workplace is not like that. And the prospect of job hunting again, since I need more income right now, is terrifying. I can’t bear the thought of putting myself at someone’s mercy like that again.
I spent many years working at an exploitative office environment for all the reasons you mentioned in the video. The bullying was less direct but it was an extremely isolating environment and the managers often didn't help for my feeling of self-worth. There were even a few incidents of harassment where I overheard some very racially insensitive conversations etc. I'm at a new job now at a much supportive environment, however, I feel like I'm still stuck in automatic mode from working at the prior workplace. It's hard to "break the cycle" and become vocal and confident again.
I have expressed that exact feeling, I'm so traumatized, I can't even work for anyone one more...so many times... starting a new job after escaping a long-term severely toxic one is very difficult and can cause additional trauma...healing is important after this but you dont get paid to heal... this video was helpful and very validating. Wish there was more content for how to handle these triggers and situations when they are happening in real time at work and the toxic person is in your face pushing and wanting you to explode.... so much of your time is invested in your job just to have some weak insecure coward push your "wounded buttons" and a quick automatic knee jerk response sends you packing and starting all over leaving you feeling ashamed and as a loser! We need to know how to get ahead of this stuff not "how to try and do better next time"
Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot!!!
The only solution for this problem is to guarantee people safe and supportive work places for the rest of their lives. As long as we can't guarantee that, their fear of going through the nightmare again is very realistic, and nothing can be done about it.
The comparison with a POW camp is right on point.
Ptsd doesn't have to be caused by war. It can be caused by any events.
Thanks for this information. This brings to light everything we need to know about workplace abuse, trauma, overwork, ptsd
I've had so many toxic workplaces that I no longer work. I'm lucky enough to have a spouse 1) with a well-paying job who can support both of us, 2) no kids, and 3) is fine with me not working. I can't even think about even looking. Plus, I'm 54.
Wow you are lucky my ex husband would have never allowed me to not have a job.
THANK YOU! I am so glad I found your video when I did. It validates what I think in my heart I already knew but haven't been able to get recognised instead being treated for the 'symptoms' not the underlying cause. I am going to share this with my health providers and hopefully this will get me the treatment I need to 'move forward' - something I desperately want to do but have been unable to. Your video gives me hope I can get better. Thank you
I worked for a large chain salon and it got so bad that I 👉had👈 (past tense )contemplated killing myself,,, I was constantly picked on, innuendos, snyed comments, I am in counseling now for it. I had went to apply for another job and did all the onboarding and the day I was supposed to start I couldn't bring myself to do it.... Why? I have over 30 years experience in the beauty industry yet I couldn't even muster up enough courage to 😢do the follow threw...
Very helpful. It’s taken me 5 yrs to be healed from a traumatic firing that wasn’t legit. I was past 65 so just retired. Didn’t go back to the profession I loved. It’s been 5 yrs now and I finally feel healed and whole. In many ways I turned it into a positive by volunteering in a cause I strongly believe in. But yes….it was life chging and it took a couple of yrs to move ahead. I just allowed myself to rest. And sometimes do nothing. Just be.
I was at a gym in Toronto, without a manager (she quit, it took them a good 3 months to find another one), I was the only trainer there for 3 months. honestly, as a new trainer, it was a dream come true. bc suddenly I was bombarded w sooo many clients that someone would have had to take a long time to build. I remember going home crying from stress... and it was exactly what it was, " being bombarded". on top of being cheated on by my ex. My gosh Oct 2022 was such a dark dark time for me.. im traumatized still, deeply.. I need a lot of help and prayers tbh :( thank you! 🙏🏼
Thank you for this, I have this from tow different bosses and 2 different jobs that I had in the past. So much you have said is so true.
It's my first day of work after 1 year of avoiding work, after I left work (with 2 hours of overtime on the first-day) I felt so anxious and stressed on what I'm gonna do at work the next day, everything is a lot to take in. I cried when I see my home then I ran inside and had a breakdown then hugged everyone in my family. I don't like being separated from them for a long time. I wasn't ready to work but I had to due to trying to find financial support for my family. people and work are nice there, it's just it's out of my comfort zone with too much work to be done as a new employee. everything is a rush so I came home feeling stressed and anxious. I hope I don't get any chronic stress that affects me emotionally and physically because I'm a person now my family can depend on.
How are you doing now, Kim? I hope you feel much more comfortable at the new job.
This really touched me. You have such a good attitude. I hope you are feeling settled and comfortable at your work.
@@jenniferbyrne2980Hello! I feel much better after a year as I get to know my workplace, I went to therapy and work counseling as it's been an emotional rollercoaster but I got the hang of it! 😊 thank you for checking on me! I hope you will be blessed with good things around 🙏🏻
@@TK-fm5ud oh my, thank you for your kind words! I hope you're blessed with good things and wishes 🙏🏻 it's a rough journey but I'm settled and finally comfortable working around while providing my family! 😊
This video just helped me connect the dots between my PTS from a very toxic relationship I was in and the toxic work environment that I just left. I really hope other people, even in the comments section, are able to make that connection.
I am a long term unemployed, full ethnic minority, British born and residing, adult (albeit sadly undeveloped), chronically ill, isolated, unsupported, unmarried, unqualified, impoverished, depressed, anxious, medically neglected, unmedicated, lone living, still suffering woman in England who has been repeatedly and increasingly bullied my whole life , in various settings, including at short lived but permanently traumatic workplaces where I have been verbally, physically, financially and racially attacked. Believe it or not, none of the perpetrators have ever faced any consequences and never have I received even an apology. My life is not worth living especially when I am in need and rotting away whilst they are comfortable, unbothered and thriving. Not a day has passed without enduring severe trauma. I do not have access to therapy. I am 28 on Tuesday. I am enduring far too much meaningless hardship. When does it end?
😢 I’m sorry to hear. Please don’t give up on yourself. 🤞🙏
This is very useful to hear
Thank you for this! I needed to hear it...
I worked in ICU for 20 years. I'm retired but still have stress dreams regarding that job. My friend Rn who is retired also having the dreams. Any hope?
First workplace trauma occurred at my first post college job in 2009 when I had a job pulled out from my feet then won an award for the work I did there, after I was terminated. I then had to fight to get unemployment from the company after they terminated me w/o cause. To make this worse I was an AmeriCorps volunteer so I made no money and had signed on for another year before they pulled the contract, a month before I was supposed to start the second year. I also had deferred my enrollment into graduates school in order to do this position.
Since then I’ve struggled to get my career off the ground despite going to graduate school and experienced much much much more workplace trauma.
Thank you for making this video. I'm a first generation asian immigrant who grew up working in my parents restaurant and know it messed me up mentally with my relationship to work. When I'm in a new job, its survival mode to figure things out but once I get kind of comfortable I feel trapped and anxious and it just gets worse and worse the longer I stay. I've managed to stay at my current job for 1 year before asking to be fired. I know its not the work that bothers me. When I get stuck into doing the tasks, its fine. But when I think about my job or my future I an feeling light headed, anxious or at worst, disassociate.
I really want to fix this. I don't want to keep changing jobs. This is my 4th career and I know its good. I just cant get my feelings to calm down.
Quit my retai job 10+ years ago n i still.have nightmares til thus day
Ditto. Retail IT nearly killed me.
Thank you so much for making this video. I had a really bad experience last year, and it took me a while to find another work situation that was healthy/good/bearable.
This really helped me to understand the thoughts I was having.
I had a friend go through this years ago too, but I didn't know how to empathize for her or help her. So I'm glad to find a resource on this topic!
Thank you for explaining it so clearly
I have this from an extremely stressful and intense job I had 14 years ago. I had a family member tell me I couldn't have PTSD because I wasn't in the military.
I know that's not true but it hurts to think so many people have so many misconceptions about this.
This is so well explained, this is totally what I’m going through
Thank you! Its the first time someone describe exactly how i feel every day. I work as a Team Leader in a manufacturing facility and nobody see us like the kind of employees who could develop PTSD.
I cannot thank you enough for this. I just sent it to my family and my therapist, because they all added to my hopelessness, and it's been a horrible and lonely experience.
I have been on sick leave almost for 2 months but every time I think about going back to work, I feel so anxious and stressed. Hard to breath and seeing nightmares from work when I just think about it. Even to work anywhere, I’m not ready for it yet. What can I do? I was diagnosed with PTSD symptoms.
This video explains everything I've felt and currently going through
So on point. Thank you for bringing light to this subject.
I believe this is me. I got picked by black kids through out my childhood and young adulthood. The last office job I had the same thing started to happen after I got hired on full time. They were nasty. I eventually became a truck driver after that experience. I'm tired of this field and I want something new but I'm afraid to go back to an everyday work environment. I'm terrified actually. I'm estranged from my family and I'm not as close to my friends anymore. I feel really alone. I always feel like I'm being picked on.
Me too, it was white racist hyperviolent males who attacked me. I have been living off of kindness of boyfriend for years now shamed to say, as its not true love, a lot of fear keeps me in this abusive situation. Looking for at home work now, learning about trauma and reading more to try and rewire the brain. A good read is 'the body keeps the score' bessel van der kolk
I hope you’re doing well and know you’re loved.
Hope things got better 4 U today 💞💌
@@Exiria ONCE I LOST MY JOB WRONGFUL TERMINATION I WAS HOMELESS MOVED IN WITH A STRANGER WHO WAS VERBALLY ABUSIVE FOR 4 YEARS WHILE I WAITED FOR A ONE BEDROOM APT
EEOC RULED THAT USPS WAS FOUND GUILTY OF DISCRIMINATION OVER 5 YEARS AGO AN I STILL AM WAITING ON MY BACKPAY AND TO BE MADE WHOLE AS THE EEOC RULED. A LAWYER FIRM TOOK MY CASE PRO BONO IM NOW ON FOOD STAMPS LIVING IN THE PROJECTS OR SHALL I SAY THE HOOD. I HAVE PTSD AND I PLAN ON FILING FOR DISABILITY SOON 🙏 IM 55 NOW I NEVER WILL RECOVER FROM THE HARRASSMENT BULLYING HOSTILE WORK PLACE USPS!!!!
This is definitely one of the very best vids I've seen about this topic! Thx!! This vid helped save my life today ❤
I've had 3 toxic bosses in a row after 2000. I'm retired now, but before 2000 I never ran into it. I'm wondering what has changed to be causing this nowadays.
Similar thoughts. There are too many managers under 30s. Arrogance and immature.
You are amazing
currently dealing with this right now and keep getting stuck in freeze mode and having panic attacks. The worst part of it is she doesn't treat everyone this way and puts on a good show of being a good person so I can't even get upper management to believe me. REALLY SUCKS!!
Terminated without cause from an executive career 18 months ago. Bullied and gaslit for months before. The terror and helplessness was crushing and the loss of livelihood and my home was devastatingly traumatic. I have not recovered and deal with ongoing ptsd. My confidence and hope is in tatters
Here because of my experience. The repeated retaliation that happened after I left was like being stabbed in the back after 2 years of being stabbed in the gut. The “POW camp” is the perfect metaphor! I was told to “suck it up” because it’s just your turn and he’ll move on to someone else
I’m undergoing therapy due to workplace bullying
I'm realizing I haven't just had a collection of good and bad work experiences but actually trauma that had a cumulative effect.
If it's debilitating you should take care of yourself first. Yes, easier said than done but many people at "work" are walking around very injured and unhealthy.
Thank you so much for this video. It helped me calm down after an unexpected triggering today ❤
This is strange I relate with most of these points. I’ll have to look in to it; not to lean towards it but to understand where I can find the help to mitigate it. I do not want to feel like I can’t work; but I would like that confidence.
Thank you for your unique perspectives, via connecting the dots, which many counselors don't comprehend, or explain. Everything you said was fulfilling to hear.
Sometimes it’s not even necessarily abusive people in a workplace. I t can be traumatic conditions in your industry creating a feeling of drowning and helplessness. No matter what you do, you will never be able to accomplish those things your job demands with the resources available to you. This is my case. Especially in the last 20 years I’ve struggled with incredible anxiety and alcoholism. I’ve had suicidal thoughts on several occasions through the years. I finally quit alcohol 8 months ago. I retire in 3 months. I can tell you, I would NEVER go down the same career path I have gone. I see young guys getting into our industry and I just want to tell them to get out while they still can. Of course I can’t do that because I’m a department manager. I have to be a cheerleader, even though every fiber of my being feels hopeless. Money isn’t everything. Happiness needs to come first.
Yes and some industries and jobs including professorships etc are so much like this and those jobs aren’t only a job they r people identity and any bully there means huge to someone s core
Thank you I am trying to balance my c-ptsd and work life and I feel traumatized by work.
I recently had an employer from a job 6 years ago reach out for a great opportunity at their new company...however, the toxicity of that past work environment still has me absolutely spiraling just thinking back already feeling a huge rush of negative distress and flashbacks... I absolutely declined.
Thankfully I'm fully employed with a developer role now that doesn't involve the same environment. High-functioning autism is really complicated in the conventional office setting.
Thank you SO much
Thank you! ❤️ I think this is really common in teachers.
I'm currently working on my credential and I've suffered so much trauma. Worst decision I've ever made.
I had a very abusive manager and now that I ahve a new job, the stress is still there. I feel trapped and stuck and I feel very depressed. :(
Unfortunately I had two
Toxic bosses back to back, the first one was intimidating and always humiliating and comparing to other colleagues, he had a poor manager rating and would take out his frustration on the team, internally looked for another role the other manager was worse… always threatening with consequences if exactly not done to her wishes. Frantically looked for an external role and quit.
But I still feel so much anxiety, and engaging with people feels very stressful.
This happened to me in the while working for the US Forest Service people. Yeap in the Federal government
Kind of like postal workers.
This is real nead more in please
I find that my mental health “team” minimizes my perspective about escalating traumatic stressors experienced for past thirty years. Dysregulation is associated with “anxiety associated with depression”. Also as a 50+ female late diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar 2 two years ago has been bittersweet. I’m seen as a drama queen because my immaturity (undiagnosed autistic traits per my research) is seen as entitlement and manipulation. I have chronic stress around work and can no longer function adequately in my profession. I am trying to adapt to a lower income due to cycles of unemployment/underemployment. Bad references follow me and gatekeepers are blocking opportunities for even entry level jobs. I feel like my very presence is a hinderance to team work environments because they perceive me as having accomplished things in my career (that they want) that I don’t deserve.
THIS PERFECTLY DESCRIBES ME
I was pushed into managing a good friend of mine. Even after raising concerns , the pressure remained. He decided to take his life. Things haven’t been the same since. I have a tough time making it through the day , let alone all the other crap that comes from other people. Not sure how I am gonna find an existence at this point.
I’m so wanting a stay at home job, I’m so distressed at my new job that I can’t see a way out. I hate being in a public setting 😢
How do you treat it? It's got me good at the moment.
Yes, it sucks. Are their therapist that specialize in work trauma?
Yes
I love my career but feel trapped with an OCPD/narcissist manager. So much of my attention is spent Gray Rocking his disordered personality that it feels like my career has become frozen. He is constantly looking for a fight, but also seems frightened and scornful now that I don't take the bait. I'm in therapy and all that but I am definitely desiring a new experience with healthier relationships.
I think I have a severe trauma in regards to work.
Since I can remember myself I was always excited and really enjoyed working rather than studying. So after I graduaded from university I was excited to find my first job.
My aunt and grandma both were working at the same bank. My grandma was cleaning there and my aunt has a high position. My aunt told me there is a "great opportunity" in the call center of the bank and I should send my CV. And I sent it. While I was waiting to call me for an interview my grandma went behind my back and talked and almost begged the managers to call me and hire me because "I live with a single mum and I'm poor and I need the money to help my mum". So they did call me for interview and they really liked me so they hired me.
I felt so offended hearing what my grandma did because my colleagues were thinking I was using my family to get in and I didn't deserve the position. From the beginning people were looking at me suspiciously and they had a bad image for me, my boss too he didn't like me.
So all of them were treating me so badly, gossiping behind my back saying nasty things that weren't true like I was flirting with married men there, I'm too stupid for the job, Im only there because of my family etc.
In general though the position was toxic. We werent allowed to take breaks until there is no calls waiting. This could mean 5-7 hours without using toilet or eating! And when they allowed breaks it was only 15 mins max. We were expected to work overtimes. They kept calling us on any day and any time of the weak to go at work and help and if we refused we were selfish and bad employees. The clients of the bank that were calling were always angry and negative because our boss were telling us to not talk more than 3-5 mins with every customer so we can show off that as a bank we take more calls than other banks. And my collegues followed his orders. And clients were angry that they called 3 4 5 times and nobody helped them. And their valid negativity affected me if u think we didnt have breaks and EVERYDAY they were asking for overtimes. Banks are closed at the weekend and THEY WERE TAKING US TO WORK AT WEEKEND TOO. We all tried to complain to the boss and his reaction "whoever thinks that is lazy or weak and cannot get along he can come to my office to announce me that he quits". And the majory of them quitted.
When I told my family I'm burned out and I want to quit they said bad things to me. So I stayed 3 more months.. I couldnt handle it I put 20kg because I couldnt eat at work and I was obsessively eating home. It was my way of eating because I was hungry all day and cope with my anxiety levels. I eventually gathered the strength and quitted.
Then my mum was crying that I'm acting as a child and we wouldn't have money to pay house bills and my extended family was angry with me. It's been 1 year and a half family and friends are asking me if I found another job and they lecture me for how I seem not interested to find one and they are really shaming me!!! They even tried 2 times to find me another job and I said thank u for caring but I want to find things on my own with my own worth this time. And they shame me for turning opportunities down and they excluded me for the family. My mum is more kind but I can feel her disappointment in me.
They dont understand what I've been through. They think I was overreacting and they dont realise I'M TERRIFIED to find another job right now. I do care and feel bad that I left and Im still unemployed but I really need my time to heal. I have severe panic attacks when I think of workplace and working and I can't sleep most nights.
Do what's best for you even if it means to ignore certain people that cannot understand you. 🙁
I hope things work out 4 U 💞💌
I think I have PTSD when it comes to job hunting. Is that a thing?
Same. Unemployed between 3 toxic, abusive jobs during Covid in Philly (rudest city in the US... Wish I'd never even set foot there) and now I can't bring myself to look for another office job and am working a menial job and trying to figure out a way to work in nature or with animals to NEVER go through that exact hell ever again!
Are you taking patients?
Thanks nead more info please now I now
I spent 20 years in a Southern California school district, and just retired two years ago, and I still stress out about it.
Being a white male school custodian was pure Hell.
As a man in maintenance, you’re treated like a kid by the teaching staff, and if you talk back you get reported for making them feel intimidated.
What happens a lot is that custodians are intentionally pushed to the point to where they start getting angry and talking back, and then get reported for improper behavior.
My last two years were spent at a small elementary school that had a principal that I was warned about in advance for not liking white people, and I have to say I believe it from the way she talked to me. To make matters worse, my coworker, a female custodian, told me consistently how much SHE didn’t like white men, and I had no one to report all of this too. She would watch me and tell the principal everything that she saw wrong with my work.
I eventually collapsed at work from the stress, and had to be taken to the hospital. No one asked me if I was ok when I came back to work two days later.
A couple of months later a water fountain fell on me, and took out my right leg. The principal never left her desk and the secretary only told me to leave my keys on campus. And I was limping the whole time.
It’s sad when you’re hated so much at work that you’re glad you went to the hospital and have to go to Workmans comp.
Work place trauma is no joke. I still suffer from it, but don’t tell anyone because I don’t want to hear that I don’t count because I never went to war.
Thanks for this video. I had a trauma at work, they put me to come at work even if the managers know that i have covid. Everybody knew about that and they avoid me. I didn't know what's happening. I left home at half shift. I get home and i tried to suicide myself. I suffer about depression and my managers knew about this but they didn't care about me. What i can do ? I am desperate 😭. Thank you
Don't suicide
So Tuesday night @ 7:14? What day again?👀
Sorry I literally meant, which Tuesday at @ 7:14. I want to be fully prepared, while, “knowing my own time frame”
What I’m asking is. Can YOU be more specific about THE TIMEFRAME I WILL BE WITH YOU? So I… can GET WHAT I NEED DONE?
I’m literally not yelling…. I just don’t know how to ask what I don’t know.
So what’s the plan?
Wouldn't that be more accurately described with C-PTSD? Also: how to get out of this if you don't have money for therapy?
Man I deal with this right now , it sucks so bad , I’ve learned to be Strong and come to terms with what happened to me before hand. I was bullied and verbally abused , I thought I had to “tolerate” the disrespect for the sake of obligatory reasons such as having to pay bills or you just need to suck it up ! I had a Misconception and I know the root cause of it was because I knew I should’ve stood up for myself and didn’t because of dumb culture .
Can you do a session with me?