How to rebuild after a depressive episode
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- Опубліковано 20 лип 2024
- Managing your mental health is complex enough on its own without adding in the fact that every day can bring new challenges.
What do you do when new depressive episodes and stressors while you're managing existing ones? Recovery hinges on recognizing and addressing the changes these bring to daily routines, social interactions, and self-care.
The key is balancing 'inputs' and 'outputs' in your life.
Inputs are activities that replenish energy and enhance well-being (like sleep, nutrition, and exercise).
Outputs are tasks that drain energy, such as work, school, and chores.
Focus on building and maintaining a strong foundation of inputs. This can prevent the unsustainable cycle of being overwhelmed by outputs.
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Hear the Podcast:
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Here's what's inside:
00:00 Navigating Mental Health Challenges
02:21 Recovering After a Depressive Episode
04:40 Balancing Inputs and Outputs in Mental Health
06:52 Rebuilding Inputs for Mental Health
10:23 The Importance of Rebuilding the Foundation
Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client. But I do care.
The hardest part for me is the 'guilt' afterwards... like looking back and hating myself for being depressed instead of focusing on whats ahead.
Guilt is a strong emotion! I was raised Catholic and guilty by default, and I thought I was over it, but I have to admit, I’m not.
You are not alone! I look back at all the wasted time and I just feel horrible and angry at myself 😔. I'm trying to stay positive knowing better days are coming ❤
I totally get that. I also think it’s important to remember that depression is a medical condition, not a choice or a weakness. It’s somewhat like hating or guilt tripping yourself for getting cancer ❤️
You would not judge someone battling cancer like that, or a stroke, etc. Depression is a medical/biological/genetic disease. One of the top cancer doctors in the world, who also battled cancer and depression himself said that the depression was far worse than the cancer and chemo.
@@DrScottEilers but because it’s invisible from the outside, we experienced so much gaslighting that it’s our fault to the point where we don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore
Coming out of about a decade's worth of challenges, getting back up after all the kicks has been harder than I expected. The other day the thought came to me to "keep choosing life" especially in my habits and thoughts. Water is life, nutrition is life, sleep is life, laughing is life, positive self-talk is life, and so on. It's made it easier to know what to do, and make the steps very small and manageable.
I love this! I’ve been doing this but not in everything… mostly choices for my health… I ask myself do you want to live or die… I want to live so I keep making better choices…. But now think I’ll use this across the board… dealing with “challenges” for 10 years has made me numb…. Uncomfortably numb…. Nothing comfortable about numb…. I need to make this my new mantra… “keep choosing life” … thanks!! 🩵
I break it down into tiny steps. Move this foot to the edge of the sofa, shift so I can put it on the floor. Next foot.
Finally, get up WITHOUT CONSCIOUS DECISION, and get my lunch.
Man, being paralyzed (sort of) is tough.
That is amazing! I'll add those affirmations to my daily "pep talk". Thank you. Keep it up!❤
@@veramae4098Sounds like physical therapy for your brain. Sometimes you need to figure out how to move your toe before relearning how to walk. You can do it! Love from Clearwater, Florida!❤
Thank you for that great response!!!
Awhile ago my therapist told me to concentrate on just doing things I enjoyed for 2 weeks. I couldn’t think of a single thing that I wanted to do.
I can relate to that. Things I used to enjoy, I just feel no enjoyment for or motivation to do any more. I hope it will come back eventually, if I keep working on the very basics of rebuilding and recovering. Best wishes to you in your journey and struggles, as well. I know full well how much all of this can make each of us feel so alone, but the followers and comments in this community show that we're not- even though I myself struggle with the cognitive dissonance between seeing and logically knowing it, and really feeling it.
@@mrs.antihero😅
What a great therapist!
I was going on vacation and had no joy...no enthusiasm?@#$% Now, that's bad!! 😅
I understand that too it’s frustrating
I can’t make the list and face the life I’ve lost without spiraling in grief.
I agree. I don't think facing the part of life you've lost is a good or helpful thing. It just adds more grief and more guilt on top of what you're already dealing with. I've found looking forward and refusing to look back at the past because I can't change any of it, helped way more. It's like moving out of the old house and into the new one, consigning all of the garbage to the skip bin really helped far more than wallowing in what might have, could have, should have been. I really can't sift through it all first without breaking down over every last awful detail. I've been sifting through it for decades and I sure as hell know it hasn't helped me one bit. In the end I've just had to dump it en mass and move on. Sometimes it tries to creep back in, and I have to boot it right back out again for my sanity's sake.
Your personal background story helps me believe that not only is there hope, but there's also something useful to our suffering; maybe it could become our background story that might help someone in the future.
After many depressive episodes, I am not only off course, the course I was on prior was also off course, I don't remember what my course was... I feel like I have to re-invent the idea of destination.
Maybe it was off course for a reason - because it wasn't the right course for you? Why are we so afraid of changing course? It's not a failure to admit we're on the wrong path and if we recognise it's the wrong course, the most sensible, logical thing is to change it. There's no shame in that. Admittedly it takes courage to do it, but it's an admirable thing to achieve.
same that I don't have a "course"! What's worse is nothing really feels like an input for me, seems everything is on the output list :S
Very useful metaphors:
1) our activities categorized as "inputs" (giving us energy) vs "outputs" (draining our energy)
2) some aspects of our life as "foundation" which needs to be rebuilt first, before any "upper floors" above it
Thank you!
Thank YOU!
it’s crazy this video was posted today, mere hours after my therapy session at which I was telling my therapist about my observations in change in my habits now when I’m finally coming out of my very prolonged depression. I constantly feel lonely which affects my mood in a way, I’m more sad than depressed about it, and I did have a feeling of pressure/self blame of some of my parts about not being socially active/proactive, but I realized today that to me socializing is the most energy-heavy activity (I’m an introvert), so I kinda relaxed about it, because I realize that I’m gradually building my energy resources, first it was nutrition, then I quit weed, then I organized my home and now I started going to the gym, if you think about it, it’s a LOT and a universe apart from where I was just 6 months ago. So socializing is awaiting me somewhere in the future, when I’m ready and have built up my new stamina.
Hehe, seems the universe is well-aligned with you today. 😇 Wish you the best for regaining and strenghtening your inputs in life!
Congrats on your steps forward. You’re an inspiration.
More and more often I see comments like yours - where someone was "*just* talking about ___" and then they find a video recommended to them by the algorithm. I'm starting to believe it's not coincidence, but that it's the fact that your phone listens to you talk. Some phones do it, some might not. But this is the second time I've seen a "coincidence" comment on the videos I watched today.
Anyway, I'm sorry you suffer from depression (I do, too). I'm happy to hear you're making progress. Please remember that progression isn't linear. There will be small (and sometimes large) setbacks/hiccups, but try to not let that deter you from "making today better than yesterday". :) That was (and still is) the thing I struggle with constantly.
I have anhedonia after a depressive episode, and while the depression is a lot less now, and I have rebuilt my life, my mind is still in shambles.
Anhedonia has caused my depression and ruined my life completely. i dont even know what caused my anhedonia but it has ruined my otherwise good life and even made me wish to death
How d you get out of depression and adinheia
How do you heal from anhedonia
@@annmarieoliverie7526 i dont know seems like most depression treatments wont help with anhedonia i haved anhedonia three years already and nothing has helped
@@annmarieoliverie7526anhedonia is totally treatable, I know how it feels right now that nothing matters and there isn’t really a way out but there is one. As the doctor said, you have to be able to change your foundation so you can build your upperfloors. Meaning you have to change your foundation to including habits like: taking vitamins, exercising, taking care of your hygiene, drinking water, eating healthy, reducing phone screen time, erasing any addiction from your routine, sleeping well, setting boundaries with yourself, and changing your mindset with therapy. After doing that then you can move into changing your upperfloors (outputs) that could be: going to school, working, paying bills, getting a job etc (depending of your life tasks that consume time and energy). Basically after all of those things are changed your brain levels like dopamine, serotonin, GABA, and neuropathways reset which allows you to feel, enjoy, and love life again.
I’ve been depressed for nearly a decade. One bad thing after another; a lot of disease and death. So I’ve just accepted it and now at 57 I’m just running out the clock.
Yep. Hasn't been a decade, but nearing 2 years w/ no end in sight is enough. 56 now. I've been running out the clock for most of my life. I'll make it or I won't and dont' rightly care now.
Same....just waiting around to die....just existing. I have done all the living I want.
@@anthonyharmon9265 It shouldn't have to be like this, merely existing, just because people expect us to. I stick around as a sacrifice to God and whoever cares about me. It's not my choice at all to be here though.
Is there still something that you enjoy in life?
I've followed a lot of mental health content for a long, long time and spent a lot of time with therapists. But you are the first person I've seen who not only describes exactly what I experience but uses the same terminology and conceptualisations I do. For instance, the idea of continuing to live a depressive lifestyle long after becoming non-symptomatic and running in a chronic of state cognitive deficit are both ideas I've journaled about myself. One of your other videos which argued the crucial role of sleep hygiene, nutrition, physical activity, and substance intake; and the duration, consistency and effort put into them helped me realise the futility of attempting self-improvement without managing basic self-care first. I have been correcting this inversion of priorities for the last month and even with my poor levels of adherence have already started to see palpable improvement.
Never doubt that what you are doing here is making a difference to other people's lives!
I'm struggling with the "loss list" because it's been so long since I was really on top of things. I have to go back about 35 years to get a good reference point.
Guilt keeps me depressed. Wishing my kids had a better mom, a fun mom, a happy mom. My kids are older now and took a trip out of town. They wanted me to go but I backed out. I am very anxious about traveling and being too far away from home. I don’t know why but I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. I feel so guilty for it and it depresses me.
Omg! Me too! I wanted to go on vacations this summer, but no one would go with me, and then I got into the habit of working in the yard, being home, and being sick from Lyme. Now, I’m going “up north” in MI, and I don’t want to go.
I could have added more because your response resonates with me, but know someone else feels that way, too. I also have a very wealthy sister and I have a son who just got out of jail and is now in a psychiatric/rehab facility. I’m a retired teacher and he stole a ton of my money that I’ll never get back. So, yeah, I’m not the best mom anymore.
❤ please know that your work is giving hope to so many of us who feel rejected and misunderstood by our own.
✨ OMG, Dr Scott, I think you just gave me THE BIGGEST light bulb 💡 moment / best nugget of valuable information I’ve ever gotten!!! I’ve been dysfunctional for over a decade and I’m only getting worse. My relationship is so damaged and I can’t seem to change the direction my ship is sailing no matter how much i want to change. Your explanation about what’s input and output for a person and how to focus on the inputs only at first (as much as possible) when trying to get your footing again in life is something I’m never going to forget and always have on my mind- I’m hanging on tight to that concept cuz that’s a diamond 💎 from a treasure chest, for me. But the part I’m even more excited about and can’t wait to share with my significant other is your explanation about what others see us do when we seem functional and how it’s not the cause of our good functioning in life but the effect of our good functioning in life bc we have already set up our inputs behind the scenes which set us up for success which allowed us to add on more things to our daily to-do list which show up to others as what are our outputs 🤯🤩 I don’t think my mind has ever been blown away more than when I heard you explain inputs / outputs and how others incorrectly view why and how we can function or not function.
It’s like spoons or whatever, for chronic illness patients. Anyway, great metaphor.
Your title "depressive episode" really startled me...I have been in a depressive state (mild to severe and in between and now severe these last 5 years) since the 1970's, and I don't recall not being depressed. I love your assignments of defining Inputs and Outputs but right now it is so overwhelming to even consider to do! I have tried ALL the antidepressants and have also tried different counselors not to forget the shock therapy and EMS with no success. Everyday, I feel like I'm spending all my energy scraping the sides of my deep dark hole to see the light and end up exhausted just from doing that. If I could sleep normal hours, I think I could start to get out of the hole. I'm going to continue my counseling and my meds and try to add better sleep habits but that is difficult. For example, yesterday I couldn't sleep all night and finally fell asleep at 10 this morning which doesn't leave me much of a normal lifestyle. I love your analogies, your insight and your approaches to treatment of depression. I wish I could be your client!!! Keep up the UA-cam videos!!! Thanks!
Saw ur post how do you get out of depression and numbness anhedonia I’m stuck lost and hopeless
I went through a pretty bad time. It took years and years to get through it.
What worked for me?
Try to add an “inner friend” to offset my “inner critic”.
Listening to the Power of Now and Can’t Hurt Me audio books.
A very low-carb diet and supplements helped too.
And, of course, podcasters like this guys
Having an "inner friend" to counteract the "inner critic" - what an excellent idea!
@@pippacarron1861 Thanks.
Supplements are indeed helpful. Specially if you have a vitamin D deficiency.
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my UA-cam channel 8 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,128 subs and > 900 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
I have very few inputs because most things cause anxiety, and I live alone and have nobody to help draw me out of myself. ☹️
Read my post @dalemartindale5372. It may help you, too. I've been a widow for 6 years and have no local friends or family for hands on support and encouragement. We have to learn how to be our OWN support system. Getting feedback from so many people in this forum, from literally all over the world, is like being in a huge group therapy session. Love from Clearwater, Florida. ❤
I'm so sorry. I wish things weren't so bad for us. I really couldn't make heads or tails of this video today. Input/output? I'm not a computer, and would be a highly malfunctioning one if I was. Can't imagine making a list of what depression has taken from me. Just about everything.
I think he means if we do things that we know brings us joy, or strength, we would be better able to build our resiliency and bounce back faster when we have episodes that rock us to our core.
@@darcyb6678 There's no doing things that bring us joy or strength when heavily depressed. It's just existing. There's really no point in that when it drags on long enough.
I know exactly what you are saying…I have felt that way many, many times in my life. But if we build ourselves up during those in between times, when we can actually function, then maybe we would have a stronger foundation to help us get back up. I don’t know…maybe that’s not what he was saying. This is just my opinion. Believe me, I have felt very hopeless countless times in my life. Anybody would be depressed suffering from my level of anxiety. I have missed out on so much in life it’s unbelievable.
I just got your book "for when everything is burning" and I have never had this laid out to me the way you did. Very good.
If anything, not only are you the only one keeping me alive right now, but you’re making me realize that my mission to help other people is probably becoming more important with everything I’m going through. Someday, when I get out of this, I will KNOW what it takes to get out of this. Thank you from the bottom of my soul for all your content. I would not be here without you. And I know now it’s a ripple effect. ❤
In addition- I always hear about goals on most other podcasts. You’re giving me goals just by me realizing one person can help another person. I didn’t even believe it until finding your channel.
I can’t wait to see what you do someday 💪
The comparison with a house made it clear for me. I tried over years now and struggle in my hope for a stable roof, but i missed out the part to clean up the rubble around first, i just paved a way through the mess... and sometime still a broken tree falls in my building. Not bad for me, because I like trees - but not aware of the whole situation. - Thank you! You help a lot!
This is the best video I've seen on depressive episodes because it outlines the map honestly, no one has ever explained it like this. What a golden channel I'm so grateful for this ❤❤❤❤
I love how you dont spread out your topics for the sake of content. You hit the nail on the head. Quality over Quantity
I had 29 years of parent care and it was more than I could endure. Even in a nursing home, my mother needed more help than could be given by staff and family. And it left me unformed…broken.
I've been a primary caregiver for family members twice. It was and is emotionally and physically debilitating if you don't have a ton of help, which is never the case.
It must have been horrible for your Mother too. That's part of what makes it hard. Wanting the best for them like they wanted for you.
A very hard road being a caregiver...when that's over, it becomes 'our time' again.
@@Lynnette4 That's really a horrid thing to say. Did you say that at the funeral in your speech? Whew!!!! I'm so glad it's time for ME again!!!
I feel you, 19 yrs. of parent care and now 4 yrs of grief and living like a depressed person. I AM a depressed person! 😢 but lol anyway.
My lord thank you so much. I have been in this on and off my whole life. My flame went out and i have not been able to re light it. This pod was exactly what is going on for me. I am going to listen to this again and again in the hope of relighting my flame. Thank you so, so much. 😊😊
I had to withdraw from university because I’m so depressed and burnt out. So thank you for this, it makes me feel better to know I’m not alone.
Also I’ve decided to exercise tonight!
This was so helpful. 🙏🏼 I guess I always saw the outputs as being the foundation to work on, and it makes sense to look at it the other way round. It’s been so long since I’ve paid attention to “inputs” that I’m not even sure what they are for me anymore beyond very basic needs.
This makes so much sense, I can't believe I've never hear this before. I have been in and out of depressions and treatments for 40 years...
I am not coming out of a depressive episode at the moment but but what you have said made me think. Over 20 years ago I was diagnosed with ME, which although a few people more or less improve slowly a lot do not. Six years later I had a severe heart attack. I am now trying to exist with two health issues that impact my quality of life and what I am able to do. It is, I suppose unsurprising that I sunk into depression. I lived with my mother who for many years made my life as bearable as possible and I did have spells where the depression lifted a little. However, as days turned into years my mother’s health deteriorated to a point where we were both trying to look after each other which took its toll on both of us. Mum was never diagnosed with dementia although her symptoms suggested otherwise - she was by then nearly ninety so much of her problems were age related anyway. I had been frightened of losing her for many years and struggled for the physical strength and battled anxiety to try to keep us afloat. She died in hospital just two weeks before her ninety fifth birthday. I should have been ready to expect that but it is now over four months and, if anything, it is getting harder to come to terms with. When I thought nothing else could happen I lost my adored cat who was nearly twenty about six weeks ago. I plunged into an even deeper depression leaving me wishing I could join them as the rest of my life (I’m 72) doesn’t seem worth very much.
My point is (before I started waffling) even if I came out of my depression I have no place to go back to or aim for. Both my inputs and my outputs are actually quite low - so where to start? It is ironic that I’ve had a pretty good earlier life, especially childhood, apart from an abusive marriage. Now I am totally alone but I have a bungalow and enough money so long as I’m sensible with it to make my life comfortable if only I could make myself appreciate what I DO have. My health is poor but I have no demands on my time now which may lead me to feel more able if I could only stop grieving so much. I have lost (as I had feared for all those years) the two anchors I needed to make my life worthwhile. That isn’t going to change so I can’t stop feeding my depression. So what an I aiming for? I know grief is complicated and at some point it should become less raw but at my age and lack of fitness I do not have the energy or enthusiasm to rebuild my life. I need to hold the memories of both mum and Kati close to me for if I were to lose them I would not want to keep on living.
I’m doubtful I have made much sense or even expressed what I’m trying to. I feel like I’m one of the people who can’t be helped. I never seem to react to things the way others do I just do not think the same way. I suppose I’ve always felt a bit of an outsider, I got round it by becoming a loner. Like you, I am an introvert anyway. If anyone has made it this far, thank you for being interested enough to read to the end.
Scott, despite the hopelessness I have described I have been learning a lot from all your videos. If anyone could get through to me it is you and I love you that you are giving so much of your time. Watching you is the highlight of my day and I feel like you are saying that it’s ok to feel the way I do. I would find your take on bereavement and grief immeasurably
helpful.❤
Hi Julie. So many layers, chronic health, trauma, and grieving for your mum and cat. That grief is going to overwhelm any logical approach to self help?. You sound very alone and isolated. If you are in the UK can I suggest calling cruse or some other bereavement helpline. I think any other thing that I can offer is inappropriate at present. Maybe in time you will find yourself doing little things that honour their memory?. Eg cakes for a Alzheimer's charity drive. What I can say that you may find helpful in due course is that I have had to dig down a long way to try to work out who I really am. Underneath the chronic anxiety depression is the person that I believe I am and that is someone who believes in kindness. I try to make small steps towards that without committing myself. So I accidentally cook too much cake and give it to a neighbour.....you get the drift. Actually cakes solve a lot of things!! There are things that you can do to make a difference to others even if you can only write letters
I hear you. I can identify with you. I think you are a still water that runs deep, like me. It can be both a curse and a blessing, right? You expressed yourself beautifully and I think you should keep on doing it, even "just" online to total strangers because what you shared has value and benefit to others. ❤ I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and your cat also. Those grief waves are difficult and unpredictable, for sure. 💔
I have experienced depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and long covid. I'm 77 and married, but hubby still works, then comes home tired watches TV, so I am mostly alone with or without him. We moved here 5 years ago, so I am still trying to find friends but find it hard to reach out, being a strong introvert.
When feeling low, I think of finding or making a little joy, like here he talks about "inputs". Just yesterday I painted my toenails deep red, so I'll smile everytime I change socks. 😊 Maybe change my hair a bit or add makeup, wear a nicer top than usual. I also clean or arrange one space in each room so I can smile as I enter...silly, but kind of an acknowledgement of "there, I did that!" We lost our precious dog 3 years ago and it hit me very hard. Everytime I thought of getting another dog, I cried and avoided it...for 2 years I was just sad. I finally got a lab puppy and realized, of course, she is not a replacement, she has not eliminated how I miss the one we lost, but she does bring a lot of her own special joy! Something to think about.
I wish we were neighbors so we could have coffee or a little walk someplace nice.
May God richly bless you with a fresh spark of tiny joy, and give you hope ❤️🙏❤️
Thank you so much for your understanding it means a lot to me. It’s heartening to know there are still some caring people in this troubled world we live in🤍
@@judymiller5154 I really appreciate your reply, thank you. You are right it is often the smallest things which can help the most.. I am in England and have wondered about calling cruse, I think it could help a little to talk to someone. Commenting after watching Scott’s videos is very cathartic and even more so when someone cares enough to reply🩵
11:12 that is me. Frustration after frustration lol. It’s a dangerous cycle and can actually last a long time especially as things are eroded by the monetary effects of that cycle. It might be niche but I’ve found myself less qualified to be put in an equal or better position. Example: “If I cannot afford a haircut and nice clothes how am I even going to going to even start thinking about any other aspect of getting a better job” and the overwhelming news of not being able to solve my non-work problems just turns into this kind of hopeless spiral. It’s like a collapsing building. The top floor collapses down and brings your self worth to the next lowest level and keeps going until it hits rock bottom. When I get a job I’m always so caught up in it that I don’t explore better possibilities for myself especially if I go into a depressive episode because it feels like that job is my rock to help me through. Usually things only get worse and I end up sleeping for 14 hrs a day and lose my job because of something I can’t really explain, others can’t understand, and that feels as real as cold metal.
You might be able to get some assistance from Catholic charities, if you have one in your area. I used to work for them and they could assist with getting better clothes and a haircut so that you can get a job. They also assist with other things or could tell you who else could help. I don’t know if this will be helpful to you but I hope so. Good luck🌷
Thank you! Side note: Finally someone who uses metaphors and talks with their hands as much as I do. 😊
I don't have depressive episodes. It's the same level every day and has been for over 20 yrs. I have no good periods. It never fluctuates. Everyone speaks about episodes, I have it 24/7. It never lessens. And it's a terrible thing along with OCD and chronic severe anxiety and for the past 4 months chronic pain from two separate injuries. The last one being the worst. I'm done wwith hehearing things can improve
I just started listening to you and finally someone gets what my persistent depression/anxiety disorder is like.
It's been a battle with myself as if I'm fighting something inside me (Satan vs. God or Ying vs. Yang). You get the metaphors.
I've put so many barriers in front of me due to my depression/anxiety starting with getting a vasectomy when I was 30 as I am convinced what I have is genetic and I want to kill it with me. I mean not pass it on to my children that I may have had.
I'm 51, single for a very long time, an introvert and stayed in the same secure job for 28 years because my anxiety won't let me move forward.
Even while being on antidepressants, I never could escape this feeling of loneliness and dread in my life. I hope if I continue to listen to your channel, it may give me hope to gain what I have lost for half of my life.
In a depressive episode after a difficult breakup and trying to get off the couch and start over. So glad i discovered your channel and you explain topics in a way that make them relatable and helpful. Thanks for the videos and helping so many people 🌈
Thank you so much for that video. That really helps. For me, I sometimes find inputs and outputs can be a challenging balance. Sometimes, I need to rest and scale back some of my outputs....but then the anxiety of my outputs being unfinished saps my motivation, energy and willpower and can really be a drain on my mental health reserves. I'm really struggling with burnout after a crushingly hard 18 months.....but I'm still not done with all the big projects that burned me out, and that's causing me a lot of anxiety that's a big detriment to my mental health and also a detriment to my motivation to keep working on the things.
I really can’t express how appreciative I am of your efforts to bring us this channel. The wisdom you share is incredibly helpful and easy to digest, there is nothing else like it out there. From the bottom of my heart thank you.
Dr Scott, this could not have been more timely! Unfortunately I am in my own depressive episode at the moment after a less than constructive exchange with someone I love. This was a repeat of the same thing that put me into an extremely fragile state back in June…but thanks to all the things I have learned from you, and all the work I have done as a result, I didn’t fall anywhere near as hard this time. However, I was getting ready to go into work as I watched your episode (as opposed to working from home) and after listening I decided to give myself the additional space I needed so I could come back quicker rather than protract the episode - mandated day in the office or not. I am fortunate to have very supportive bosses. So thank you once again. Very grateful for this timely content 🙏🏻
You’re very lucky to have those bosses! I wish you well!
@@Tinyteacher1111 I truly am. I have had my share of the “other kind” of boss - I can count my blessings now.
@@BubblGrl Stay where you are! 🙏
Love to hear this! 💪❤️
Rings true. Exercise has always been beneficial for me. Unfortunately it makes me hungry. I can't afford to be hungrier. I haven't worked for a year and a half, haven't had a vehicle in over a year. The more I spend on food the less I have for housing. I'm staving off homelessness. Personally I think I can handle being homeless but I have 4 cats and I don't want that for them.
It does make sense and it does work. I personally have been through each of the scenarios that were mentioned. When you feel like you are on the way up again, try not to be impatient with your recovery.
Something I praise myself for is the little tactics I use while I'm depressed. It seems like they're nothing, but I encourage myself that they're something I can build on when I'm better. It works, too.
Thank you for this. Your channel has been helping me get through a true dark night of the soul. How you described the experience in the beginning is truly what I have felt and the reason I’ve lost faith in a higher power even after 29 years of sobriety. Fortunately for me, my “input” activities are easy to maintain even when I’m at my lowest. I’m really just waiting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Waiting, hoping. I’ve avoided seeking professional help, partly because of the exhorbitant cost, but more because I’m afraid I’ll end up with someone who’ll just expect me to talk and never really help me.
Indeed a depressive episode is a very lonely, frustrating and demoralising journey !Very helpful content as expected, Dr. Scott thank you for sharing with us in time of need!❤❤
In October (9th) I tried to return to work full time, after a little while working part time, then, not working. It is too much for me😢 I have to accept that I can only manage part time. I literally can t.cope. I think I am in the throws of a depressive episode, and it is hard to fake my way through the day while trying to learn a new job whose EMR is like Chinese to me.
@@patriciamharris5664 I understand, hold on and just take each day as it comes, God bless 💕
Thank you for explaining that so well. It's so much easier to deal with something when you understand it.
I just wanted to thank you so much for your content and all the work you've been putting into. I have a history of having passive suicidal thoughts and have been struggling with years of depression that eventually caused anhedonia, and your videos helped me acknowledge that I needed a therapist. Yesterday was my final session and as much as I'm still a bit nervous to get fully back on track, I feel relieved that your videos will always be here to remind me that it's okay to be this way and that will help me deal with those thoughts and emotions better. Hope your videos could reach out to so many more people who are in need of help.
When you are paddling to your destination but the current keeps pushing you back.
There’s only so much paddling one can do before they get worn down and drift with the current.
For me, when that happens, I do my best to take myself out of the boat/water for a while and wait for the tide to shift. Or at least get myself tied up to a branch somewhere, to stop my drifting. Otherwise I end up WAY off course and finding my way back into balance just feels like an overwhelming uphill climb. It helps to know what my most important inputs are - for me it's sleep and nutrition - and I get fiercely protective of them while I'm out of the water. And sometimes I have to really search hard to find something to give me comfort that's actually an input and doesn't end up setting me back. Really high quality dark chocolate instead of the sweets and carbs I used to lean on that put in pre-diabetic territory are one of my best resources for this one.
This concept has been a real game changer for me, and allows me to feel like I can actually navigate instead of just being swept away so much of the time. Every bit of effort I have put into figuring this one out has paid huge dividends for me. 3:25
Hugs to all of us struggling. It is hills and valleys, we have to go at our own pace.
After all these years of me feeling better, then diving back into a full, complicated life just to hit rock bottom again and start from scratch, I think I now have an answer to a practical plan for moving forward sustainably. Thank you! Paul Simon's song "Slip Sliding" has been the lyrics to my life.
I’ve had that song in my head before. Right now, I have anxiety from
Lyme, and I have a horrible beat going through my head. Good luck!
❤
Gosh your videos are so helpful, Scott. I've been working on improving my inputs for years and have been able to finally do some cool output stuff in the last year. However, I still have depressive episodes, and now I can remember to focus on the inputs to recover.
I tried to go out and socialize last night although I'm not feeling 100% back to my healthy baseline, and it just made me feel worse and terrible about myself! Now I can have a little more compassion for myself, knowing this introverted human just needs a little more time to feel better. Thank you!
How did I cone to this point where the kids are grown, and I feel lost and forgotten right when my health is in a downward spiral? I always thought this desperation would never happen to me. Such a shocker....so alone.
Me too
How do we know we're ready to get back on doing the "outputs" in life ?
Do we have specific signs of progress to look out for?
I hope you do a video on positive progress in general
Thank you for this video and your continued general guidance. The world is much safer and more liveable with your gifts ! 💙💙💙
Dear Dr. Scott Eilers, Thank You For This Video. I Suffer With Severe OCD That I’ve Had Ever Since Childhood, But Only Became Completely Disabling In My Early Twenties, After I Had My First Child, And All The Tasks, Chores, & Responsibility For That Child & A Household Became Mine. In Other Words, “Adulting.” Throughout My Adult Life, I’ve Dealt With The Depressive Episodes Too, Which Usually Accompany OCD. Five Years Ago Though, I Fell Into A MASSIVE, MAJOR Depression, Not Like Anything I’ve Ever Experienced Before, To The Point To Where I Completely Shutdown In Every Aspect Of My Life! I Was Basically In A Catatonic State For About 3 to 4 Years. I Even Experienced Suicidal Ideation (It scared me so much) And Depersonalization, I Felt Disconnected From Body, Like My Mind/Brain Wasn’t Connected To My Physical Body. Anyway, This Video Is Just What I Needed To Hear Today. You See, I Am Just Trying To Pull Out Of A Weeklong Depression, Where I Shutdown Again, After I Swore To Myself That I Would Try To Never Shutdown Again. I Have Been Trying To “Rebuild My Life” In Every Way Possible! When You Shutdown For 3 to 4 Years, You Get Behind In Everything: Healthy Medical Check-Ups (all of mine are behind), Family Relationships Have Suffered (my guilt is almost unbearable), All Of My Household Chores & Tasks (my OCD makes it hard for me to conquer my chores & tasks), and Everything, Everything, I Could Go On and On. Anyway, I Was Beating Myself Up, Angry & Disappointed With Myself, Because I Fell Into That Weeklong Depression Shutdown After Giving In To My Negative Thoughts & Feeling Completely Overwhelmed & Anxious Because Of All The Inputs & Outputs, especially the Outputs, That It Will Take For Me To “Rebuild My Life.” I realized after watching this video, where I went wrong, focusing more on the outputs than my inputs, mainly because of my OCD. Anyway, Thank You Again, I Appreciate This Video So Much, It Made So Much Sense To Me, I Knew I did This/do This, but I Could Never Put It Into Words Like You Did, To Tell My Therapist Why I Go Wrong.
I can’t wait to watch more of your videos as I make my way through this journey of recovery.
I also would like to tell the other commenters that they are not alone. (Reading the comments helped me remember that I am not alone either! So, thank you, commenters, you helped me today too!) God Bless Everyone Who Is Alive!
The boat analogy was brilliant, I've never seen someone explain something like this so well, I feel understood ❤️
Just coming out of an "episode". Thank you so much for the actionable advice, as opposed to just more knowledge; I have to rebuild every time this happens!
Depression hit me again fake me always pleasing everyone apart from me. Starting walking again on my own. And listening to The right people.keep strong
Consistency with exercise: even when I am in a depressive episode I will do what feels like dragging myself to the gym because I know that when I walk back out of that door after an hour and a half of the stationary bike, stretching, and weightlifting I will function better *even if* I'm depressed. Experience has taught me this about myself. It wasn't always me, I used to just sit and eat and cry and feel numb and sleep. Now I get dressed and I may still feel numb but I do it outside, around people. IMO, depression feeds on isolation.
Can you recommend something we can do to get back on track when regular life is fully unrewarding? This is coming from someone suffering from severe depression and a seemingly lifelong string of extremely bad luck/circumstances. It gets harder every time something awful happens, which is often.
Meditation
@@kanthakathewhite1012 thanks. Can you recommend a good one?
@@jennys.214 You need to do your own research regarding meditation because everybody is different. Also, I find, that meditation requires a serious effort and if you are not willing to invest the time, it's not going to work. 10 minutes a day won't cut it. But if you spend the necessary time, you will be greatly rewarded. Me personally, I am a believer in the meditations of Dr. Joe Dispenza. Good luck : )
Jenny any time in meditation (and minfullness) is good for you =)
I imagine there are many many ways and schools of meditation.
Maybe start with something simple that you can fit in easily. Baby steps.
I find this breathing exercise helpful : Anywhere, lying down or sitting or walking (NOT driving!) - simply count each breath in and out - up to 5 breaths - then go back to 1 and count breaths again up to 5 - keep going as long or short as you like. (I think I learned this from a Dr Chaterlie ? Whoever it was, I am so very grateful)
I find my breaths get deeper and slower and I calm down and often drift off to sleep - so a good one when I wake in the night!
The best advice I have heard from folk who love meditating is to do what YOU can and what feels comfy for YOU.
( Someone else's comment here was a wee bit discouraging - that is their journey - no one else's )
YOU will find your own path =)
@@jennys.214
Go to church. Ask for blessings from a Priest. Talk to them about the bad luck, you might need spiritual intervention.
Im sinking again i either pitty myself just lately or get guilty or frustrated anger...theres just no positive element at all.
Over it😢
My LIFE has been one huge depressive episode. It NEVER gets better. Meds, therapy, nutrition, exercise, it’s all bullshit…this is a life time battle and you’re in it alone. I’m 68 and it all began when I was a child. It’s a LIFETIME struggle, it’s a full time job trying to stay alive, and questioning your reasons for wanting to. There’s no time off, no paid vacations, no accolades, nothing! It’s exhausting! I can’t wait till the lights go out. After years of therapy, doing everything right, I had continued to WAIT, wait for changes, for the right people, the right help, waiting waiting that’s what your life becomes waiting for changes that have never come…so I drop pill after pill, and the trade off is you somehow climb out of the darkest abyss but you are now a zombie. My brain is most likely shot from all the chemicals I’ve had to take to stay out of the hole, but my baseline is still depression. No pill, no therapy, no therapist, nothing can cure this disease, only death. So now I wait again, and that’s what gives me hope, knowing one day this will end!
You need Jesus.
@@soliel8999 Jesus should have me by now, don’t you think? That’s an awful thing to say! Is that your attempt at sarcasm? Just so kind of you to care. 🤪
@@soliel8999 Jesus should have me by now, don’t you think? Is that your attempt at sarcasm? Not very nice ! Possibly what I needed was loving parents who didn’t abuse me, a grandpa who didn’t molest me for years, and just kindness. But the worlds doesn’t make very kind people these days, and your remark proves that.
Another extremely helpful episode. Food is my issue. A turning point was when I realized that eating junk food and fruits and veggies are not mutually exclusive. I just need to eat the fruit and veggies prior to eating the junk food because if I do not I do not want them. I lived most of my life either eating exclusively junk food which I now realized caused a lot of my mental issues or dieting. I was either being "bad" or "good". I try not to make it an "either and or" proposition which reduces the depths of my depressive episodes and allows me to get back on track sooner. It also eliminates a lot of the guilt when I do go off the deep end with junk food.
Me coming out of a double depressive episode only to remember I have persistent depressive disorder so I'm still technically depressed. 😮💨
forget the technical and embrace the functional!
That's so true, everytime I'm out or tryna get out of a depressive episode, I instantly start working on school, studies, more work etc...
Gosh. This guy gets it so much. Except for having a list of things that used to bring any kind of positive feedback. Let me be clear: Dr. Eiler's ideas for how to operate within not having internal positive feedback, and doing it anyway, have helped me so much. So very helpful. I just want him to focus on the kinds of people, like me, who have no past positives. I don't have any happy memories of life. It's so hard when people say "go back to a time when you were happy" What? I was never happy. Not once. Ever. Oh, be clear: I smiled a lot. If you look at family photos or high school or later parties or work or anything....? Yeah, there I am, smiling. But I was NEVER happy.
If this weren’t so tragic, I’d have to laugh, but I’ve also endured surgery after surgery, I’ve had almost every joint replaced in my body, and I’m the only woman I know who would leave the hospital the next day, and take no pain meds, because I’m that numb! I have learned to dissociate so well, I walk thru the physical pain like it’s nothing.
Depressive tends to be unlike many physical illnesses, with a relatively clear beginning and end. To this end, "episode" is something of a misnomer. It is often the chronic nature of depression, often not remitting entirely, that is such an emotionally draining experience.
OMG! That makes so much sense, Dr. Scott. I always wondered why i couldn't just jump back in on things and my depressive episodes would come more frequently and intensely. I have a broken foundation still and need to find things that give me Inputs to refresh and rebuild me. Thank you so much!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Omg this is so helpful! I love working out but it’s an output for me, and I’m sooooo tired of people saying that my depression would go away if I worked out. I can’t. And I wish I could but it just drains me more. When I feel good i automatically love working out again.
I have tried explaining to my therapist how doing healthy things makes me feel more empty. What’s tricky for me though is figuring out what the inputs are.
You face each day one by one. Each day provides a little further encouragement and some successes to lay down the foundations and start rebuilding your confidence again. You got through those days, you can do it again tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. The trick is to not look back to the dark days, and not look too far ahead because that can be way too overwhelming. Eventually you'll have the confidence to plan your future, but that doesn't happen overnight. You need to come to an understanding of where that direction lies and explore the possibilities first. The very worst thing is to plan in too much detail, be too rigid and have to definite a timeline, because the first thing that doesn't fulfil your expectations of yourself, your plan or your timeline can bring you right back down. Make it realistic, flexible, build in some options and above all, be kind to yourself.
What a great allegory and explanation of depression….my depression was born out of sudden panics that evolved into full blown anxiety disorder after withdrawing from Ativan prescribed ( in start dose of a whopping 2 mg dose)
My allegory was more like sailing along on still waters above deck in the sun
thrown into sea hurricane
I am digging out for the most part ( the good days are ‘good-er’ and the bad days
are more manageable with hard work on strategies and radical acceptance, My bad days mantra is: “ surely good days follow bad days”
What I find So helpful in your segments is the explanations of mental health
symptoms …and the affirmations that our symptoms and patterns are real
Love the lack of cheerful platitudes
I just discovered your channel, but you are now my go to for reminders of
navigating anxiety/ depression…I think you are great
I have been listening to all of your videos but what I wanted to say was I just started reading your book and it's excellent. It's written so us lay people can understand. Thank you!
Thanks Scott for making that simple enough to understand and take action upon from deep in the fog. Much appreciated.
Great video as always! Thank you for writing your book "For When Everything Is Burning" It's a masterpiece and changed my life❤ Congratulations on 100K subscribers!!👏👏
Thanks you so much doc!!! I appreciate all your episodes. Thank you for being real
Absolute truth!! Well done!!
I have had health issues for the last 20yr. As I drag myself out of the hospital and home.
Every single time I get on my feet I get clipped at the knees.
It is so ridiculous it is almost funny. But it is not.
You’re helping me more than you’ll ever know! Thank you ❤
Follow all your videos. You inspire me so much. I relate to your take on depression.
Thank you. This is the point where my life is at the moment, so it really helped me. I'm going to focus on my creative pursuits over the next little while.
That is quite a description! Thank you so much
Thank you. This is a very helpful way of looking at this.
I’m saving this video for later viewing. This video is one of the BEST things I’ve seen on depression recovery!
That made so much sense. And its comforting to know that the feelings and actions i am experiencing are common to everyone suffering from depressive episodes. I have been to several therapists but no one has ever given me any tools to help me. Just lots of talking which really didnt help. A recent bout of covid has set me right back. 😢
That is really helpful advice, Doc. I like the concept, and I think it's doable. Thanks so much. I'll give it a try. 😊 Any advice for those of us who get depressed around the holidays? Maybe a short or video on that?
This video is a real gem! Thank you for sharing this info
Thank you for your videos. They are very helpful.
Thank you. I’m still working on the foundation and have for years. I’m trying to see things in a better light. Love you. California Joanna
Thank you, Doctor Scott. I am in a depressive spell right now. So these ideas will help me get through it as well as possible. I just ordered your book this morning! Thank you so much for all you do to help.
I really appreciate you. I’m glad I found you. I’m sorry you suffered so much. I was having a great time during that part of my life. I lost my life at 35 I’ve been disabled for 30 years now and it’s hard not to feel shame about it even though some of it is physical from the torture. The mental and emotional and neurological stuff I think I should be able to heal myself but I can’t and I’m not in an area where there are a lot of people that help. I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining. I’m just desperately fighting despair. I don’t want to be sad when I die.
yoooo i wish i could articulate the gratitude i wish to express for ur content.
My own ADHD-like behavior, scrambling every which way in fear and confusion,, does nothing to advance my healing. I am now practicing what I am good at: in-the-zone hyperfocus to increase in/outout. This video brought home the necessity of recharging. Wih an overload of pressing must-do outputs, it's difficult to take time away for inputs. Admitting that my ability to work on outputs has been severely curtailed by feeling drained...increasing (healing) inputs now is a top priority! Thanks.
I can relate to the "scrambling in fear and confusion". I compare it to being a blind squirrel crossing a busy highway! I try to remember to open my eyes and wait till the traffic allows down. 😊
Great video !Exactly what I needed today. You have given me such hope and a great deal of encouragement. I decide this last few days that it's time to start taking care of me first. Input! Thank you.
Thank you...
Very helpful to me.
I like your style of explaining things.
This was helpful Scott, thank you!
Nice metaphor! Life has a way of getting in the way, but life comes first.
True. Simple, and doable.
Thank you for this video!❤
Recently lost my father and this resonates with me.
I've been beating myself up for not getting back to my usual life, because I have this ingrained idea that if I'm not hard on myself, then I'll be even WORSE. If I had a friend who treated me the way I treat myself, I would have ditched that "friend" long ago.
Fear is the foundation for me. I just today recovered from a week long depressive episode. During that time, I found your enlightening videos, and they have really hit hard for me. Your book arrives today from Amazon. Thank you for all of your help. I now need to fully reconstruct and reinforce the foundation. ❤
I learned how to do and not do things out of fear. One of my core beliefs is that the world is cruel and violent. Shame is another problem as well.
@tracyzimmerman7912 I've allowed fear to keep me from doing the majority of things that to myself seem simple and everyday for others. I'm 40, I have two teenage children, and it's like I've blinked my eyes at 15 years old and now it's today. I cannot allow fear to keep me from enjoying my life, in the moment and future moments. Bless'ed Love ❤️
@TuffBrandz I feel the same way. I've let fear control my life since even before I was a teenager, and I'm 46 now. I've missed out on so many experiences 😢
@@TuffBrandz me too. I very avoidant of people/situations. It sucks because your life becomes very small. I grew up with the belief that the world was a cruel and violent place. Therefore I am quite cautious.
@tracyzimmerman7912 I've always been cautious as well. For me, the fear is so strong that I cannot tell anyone of it. I push myself to engage in society, but it eats away and is painful, then I eventually break down. I seek help, but when I'm engaging the fear forces me to just act like everything is fine, and so I miss the opportunity. It's scary as shit just to think about it now, but I have to take the steps and open up. Only thing is, it'll be like opening floodgates.... that chained box Dr Scott mentioned.
Thank you so much! I am learning so much from your videos! Thank you for your analogies too! They really make sense to me! Bit by bit step by step is all I've been able to do for a long time but at least now I know where to start.
Thanks Dr Scott,
You put so much hard work into helping people. And you’re so humble.
I’m so greatful for your podcast.
Thank you 😁☘️😌