Basically stage 6 is your mindless your thoughts are gone aswell your memories only extremely basic moments and instinct. Your dead but not physically but mentally, a living meat sack.
My mom had dementia but she never forgot me. She could be back in her mind to a time before I was born, but somehow she always recognized me. The last time she said "I love you" to me was 2 nights before she died. I said "I love you too" and she said "I love you more. I love you more than you could ever know." I kind of feel like that was her goodbye to me. She slept through most of the last two days, and her last words were asking for a Coke (she was a lifelong Coca-Cola super fan).
My mom’s last words were I’m so scared I have to pee. She as in my arms. She had predementia from brain damage, and tho she hadn’t developed full dementia yet, it was horrific for her. The one thing my mom always had was her brain. She could learn anything, read a 1k book in hours. She was 2pts shy of being an actual genius. Loosing her ability to figure things out was horrifying for her. She liked talking sht on twitter & she’d drive me crazy asking me why she couldn’t get it to work. She’d always think she broke her phone and I’d explain you couldnt fck up an iPhone. She died bc she was an obsessive smoker & so her lungs took her out before her brain failed her completely. My sister says it was a mercy but I haven’t been right since. She had an incredible life and wanted to write her story but never could.
I’d rather die in an instant than over years. Let’s just hope that sleeping pills will still have the potential to be lethal to me in like 50 or 60 years.
@@hughmungus7015 By the time I'm too decrepit to be of much use to my future family, I'd want to go out like a Scandinavian elder. Jumping off a huge cliff, preferably while coming down from all the psychedelics possible, seems like a glorious view to end on.
When I realise I’m too old to do anything I’d love anymore, or I realise I’m starting to decay mentally, I’ll try to have the most painless yet fantastic death possible for me. Go out with a bang, as you’d say.
Everything about this fills me with dread. A deep, shuddering, dread. Forgetting that you've forgotten.... Thinking about it makes me want to scream but the sound won't pass my lips.
This caught me so off-guard and FUCK did it hit, Holy Moly. I have seen it happen, it is something you live the rest of your life wishing you hadn't had to. Not for you, but the other person.
Thats what makes it easier to let go ..everyone should have to take care of there grandparents and parents when they get old and need it people who throw them to a home or worse never get to heal from it
That line gave me chills. I guess it really is true, if a dementia patient's favorite song is the last thing they remember. Once that goes, there's literally nothing left of them as a person.
the most devastating thing in the description is "stage 6 is without description" all the words were said, all the tears were cried out, there is only a dead person whose body is still alive and long wait for their suffer to end
Women are more likely to get it because they dont do hrt after menopause. You can help prevent it by doing that as estrogen has protective qualities to the brain lookitup ifyou care idk
There you are, with late stage dementia, lying in bed, with your daughter next to you. Suddenly, in your blank mind, a flash of memory - music - a sound of the past, comes to you. You struggle to grasp onto it, you widen your eyes, you open your mouth, and with your weak breath, you say a word. B R U H
@@alexsiemers7898 The very last self-portrait was not even a painting, only pencil and paper. As far as I know, it was made seven years before his death.
As someone who worked in a nursing home, this album hit differently. Dementia is flat-out horrifying. It's not just slowly killing you, it's killing your consciousness first. The lucky ones die from some other condition before you lose yourself. Those who aren't so lucky eventually...fade away. It's a horror beyond comprehension. Seeing so many people go from telling tales of the "golden days" to being unable to even speak...no words can describe that fear. And I saw it day after day. I'm fortunate that all of my grandparents died completely lucid. Even my 98-year-old grandmother still had wit as sharp as a straight razor. Then again, I've had a major concussion already in my life, so I might not be so lucky.
OOF. I'm so sorry to hear that. You are a great person though, working hard to make these people's last days a little bit more bearable despite their conditions. It sounds truly challenging.. But people like you is what everyone needs. And I'm happy to hear your grandparents went out with their consciousness If it helps, I have ADD so that might also put me in the firing range. So I guess you're not alone?
@@BucketOfFukreal, but my great grandmother had dementia, although she was somewhat conscious. my grandmother is also showing signs of memory loss, so i’m also in the firing range 😞😞
I ignored his warning and listened anyway. That was a month ago, I think, and only now do I feel well enough to even think about it again. I didn't even listen to the whole album but I had insomnia and bad anxiety for a week afterwards.
5 years of dementia, 3 of those years in a nursing home and having been dead for a year and a half now, going through this with my grandpa was the worst thing that I have ever experienced. I'm just a fucking kid, and suddenly I was being put into this situation of watching my grandpa - one of the people I loved the most - slowly fade away. I visited him quite frequently, but those visits were never a good thing, never something I looked forward to. I witnessed his movements get weirder, his speech suffer and his eyes going blank. In the end he was just a shell, a clump of meat. He wasn't grandpa, he was some weirdo standing with his arms along his sides looking into the ground with a diaper on. I wasn't there when he went, and thank god to that. But my mother was. She would call, and I would hear her suffering watching her own dad die right in front of her in a grusome way I wish to never experience. He was alive, but not in a way where you could communicate with him. Not in a way where you could look him in the eyes and think "I love you grandpa," but in a way where you would look him in the eyes and think "just fucking die already, please". Or at least that's how I percieve the experience from small bits of my mother talking about it. And I can't blame her. Like I said, I wasn't there in his weakest moments, I had specifically said I didn't want to see him again after visiting him 6 months prior to his death. And I feel bad. I hate myself for that. It is one of my biggest regrets, and not giving back my grandpa the love and attention he had given me the 13 long years of my life is something I beat myself up about. He didn't deserve for me to abandon him, yet I was so selfish as to put myself before him. I'm so split on this, and I don't know how to think about anything. I hate all of this. I wish I could wipe clean all of this. Guilt has hijacked all those once so wonderful memories of him. I just want grandpa back...
I hope that you can forgive yourself little dude, as you did the best you could at that time - and thats all Any of us can do!,I Totally understand you may have had the need to protect yourself from being subjected to even More trauma of seeing your Grandpa that way.try to think of it as self defense as oppossed to selfishness. Aging is a disease that is very cruel.I hope that you can concentrate on the good memories,and realize that you didnt really abandon grandpa as the Grandpa you knew and loved was no longer home. what you did was get yourself in a lifeboat - and thats Okay,hard as it is,sometimes we have to save ourselves.we know what and how much we can handle. I hope you can let go of the guilt,stop letting it hijack all the good,take that good back and hold onto it,and keep holding it.dont let nothing and Nobody steal it from you!. Im sorry you went through that,life can be hard.Loving can be painful. i would encourage you to hold onto the love you have and the good memories you have of your Grandpa before the dementia and be kind to yourself and Go Well.
hey -- i dunno if you're still checking these comments but for what it's worth, don't get upset at yourself over it. you were just a kid at the end of the day. you didn't fully understand what was happening to him, just that it was scary and horrible to watch. and it is! it's terrifying to wrap your head around especially when you're younger. and it's understandable that at the time all you knew is you didn't want to watch. i think what matters is that you remember him and you love him still. in that sense, you never truly abandoned him if you still remember him. take care. love yourself. hope your new year's been a bit brighter. 🫶
@@nightones I wrote this thing in pure emotion, and looking back at it, I find it a bit overdramatic and cringe. Still, thank you. It helps a lot to hear this, stay awesome.
@@azgerrr nothing embarrassing in being raw about emotions like these bud! but i get it, sometimes you just start writing and forget how calm you were when you started explaining haha. you take care too. 🫶
@@jadeblades For what it's worth, I saw it as a literal incomplete blank canvas, as in the artist themself had no purpose to create art in the first place. I love your interpretations.
I looked at stage six art as nothing left, an empty canvas, and with the canvas (the brain) having no pictures (memories) left it too is starting to deteriorate into inevitable nothingness
For all you youngsters out there, fearing death and dementia, don’t. Live your life day by day. I am a therapist who worked with elderly people and specialised in dementia. My relationship with death has changed, when you work in that environment and do a lot of palliative care, when more of your life is spent with the dying than the living, just know, death is just a natural progression of life, and when the time comes, you will be ready..so enjoy every day that you are breathing, and don’t hasten the end, it’s coming anyway, so make the very best of this gift you have been given..the gift of life, and share it with all the people you meet. As to dementia..again, that’s nothing you have any control over, so no point worrying about it. I hate it too, and I spent well over a decade caring for people with dementia..but it was also one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. (terrible pay tho). It’s harder on families to watch the person they knew and loved disappearing, and the first stage is awful, because the person knows what is happening to them, I always hope that bit will pass quickly..but I also believe that the person they are is alive and well in there somewhere, and the occasional bouts of lucidity prove that..as a musician, which is how I ended up working in aged and dementia specific care in the first place, the power of music to heal, even if for only one hour or ten minutes is indisputable..so, summing up..don’t waste your life thinking about death, be the best you but don’t get tied up in self-absorption, the mirror won’t tell you who you are, neither will a camera, and dementia again, no control. Just hope that you’ll be healthy, although my observation in residential care is you either keep your body or your mind..but then again all four of my grandparents, my great grandmother and her sister lived very long lives physically and mentally fit. Just live.
@@virginiaviola5097 since you're a therapist what should I do if I am having like y'know.. suicidal thoughts cuz I think its gonna become a problem for me in future
My mother had Alzheimer's, and I was her caregiver. As her condition worsened, she kept listening to the 1940's and Easy Listening music channels on SiriusXM satellite radio. When she truly started losing her memories, she told me that she hoped she died before she got worse. For what it's worth, she got her wish.
I worked at a dementia center for awhile but had to quit because I just couldn't handle the overwhelming sadness and chaos there. My heart goes out to all my fellow CNAs who work in dementia centers. Yall are amazing!
I remember the first time I encountert a patient with dementia. I was 15. She kept asking for her mom. I didn't know what to do, but it hit me so hard, that this grown woman kept frantically asking for her mom. My teacher told us that dementia is like growing backwards. You learn new things for your whole life and then you just unlearn and forget. It's scary.
its much worse than that, The confusion added, like life its just an extremely haze and foggy dream, constantly on a limbo state, selfaware of how reality escapes from your hands, Dementia its much much worse than that definition.
Photographic memory turned up to eleven. You remember everything you see, hear, feel. Every grain of sand in a desert, every sound you hear in the city, everything you've touched in your life. No matter how hard you try, you cant stop thinking all of these things, for you cant forget them. Every murder you've witnessed, every scream of pain and release, every uncomfortable things you've touched. You can't stop it. You can't stop it. You can't stop it. You can't stop it. Till, your mind can't anymore, and it just stops. Now, it finally stops, but you don't have anything, you don't know anything, you can't anything. Nothing is nothing, everything is nothing. It Just Stops.
Dementia isn’t just losing your memory, it’s losing your reality. I think the album perfectly captures that feeling, even though I have not known anyone with this disease. That I believe is the true power of art.
Ok, at this point you can't just assume this guy is faking, like seriously i didn't listen to it but when i saw the behaviors of the commenters, i was like "ok this music is giving some weird mental and emotional behaviors", this gotta be sent into the news no matter what
@@aniwithanideamusic9908 I don't know you at all, I recommend you ask your subscribers, put up a pull asking yes or no, if they say yes. Go ahead but if Its a no Don't do it.
the quote "art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" by cesar a. cruz is something i can't describe with simple words i've heard it describe people's work like jack stauber but this is by far the most fitting
Jack's work is comforting to the disturbed. He made songs about the life you led before your death. Your struggles, and the obstacles in your path. How was the view from the shelf? Did you ever believe in yourself? Saying that we shouldn't die immediately not because death is bad, but because death is the last step in life. Killing yourself in your teens is like eating the cone before the ice cream, a desert. And you don't eat desert before finishing dinner. He sang about glory after death. That even if you die without getting your dues, your work can live beyond those who lived longer. You're finally a star. Meanwhile caretaker is disturbing to the comfortable. Because comfort requires the continuation of the mundane. This album's later stages are like going back to an abandoned childhood home at night. It's quite, no one is with you. You look through the small circle of visibility a flashlight can provide. Then you see your childhood couch, torn and burned. It's barely recognizable. Then it breaks apart. All the memories you had on it. The shows you watched. The movies you viewed. The laughs you had. They now have no material possessions to attach to. Nothing you can see to remind you of those times. Just your memory.
My grandmother died from dementia in 2020. My father is already showing signs of dementia and I'm pretty sure I'll die from it as well in the far future, since it runs in the family. It's truly the most terrifying and raw example of how your own mind can slowly drain and kill you, both physically and mentally. This piece was shown to me by an old friend but has stuck to me and I think about it from time to time. Never stopped making me feel uneasy and a sense of existential dread. Depressing shit...
hi!! with dementia, get checked for it NOW. get checked for it as soon as you can. if you start taking precautions and get treatments for it now there is a chance you will be able to avoid getting it. by the time you start experiencing symptoms (if you do) then it’ll be too late, that’s why dementia is a death sentence for people who are older
People take memories for granted. They don’t understand how once a memory is gone, it almost never comes back. And the idea of forgetting your entire life is one of the most terrifying ideas to imagine.
Losing memories sounds kind of poetic, the idea that you only cherish something after you lose it, but there is nothing to be cherished. You feel you know what happened but it has been returned to zero, completely nullified. Which I suppose may be one of the contributors to why this album is so depressing.
@@reptilianhuntress9968 That would explain a lot for me. I've dealt with some difficult stuff in my lifetime which, although I am undiagnosed, I'm certain it gave me some level of PTSD, and when I try to look back across the years, I find that I can remember my rough times much better than I can remember my life before then, which is mostly all a blur. It's really sad, actually, because happy memories supposedly make it easier to get through hard times. I don't have many happy memories left that I can remember off the top of my head.
I’m gonna be honest. I’ve never felt so sad, scared, terrified, happy, depressed, disturbed, alone, and confused at the same time before. I think i felt every emotion.
@@connorsmith2205 I listened to it all I once, which makes it a better experience, but if you do end up taking brakes and listening in segments then you would want to take short breaks probably. But idk I listened to it the whole way through
I remember my mom talking to me about a dementia patient. She said that every morning she would wake up, feed her cat, then go get breakfast. The disturbing part was that the cat died years ago and she was still putting food in the cats bowl. It was depressing to hear.
If she would feed her cat every morning, but there was no cat to feed, then what was she feeding? And if she was putting food into a bowl every morning, what happened to that food? Like did it become empty, and if so how? Did it not go away and if so what of the massive pileup of cat food? I’m so confused at this.
My grandfather had dementia and for the last 8 years of his life was barely coherent. In his last moments he held my grandmother's hand, sung her a love song from their youth, and then died.
thats both phisically uncommon, and romantic, the term might be very overused for memes lately but i think that that is unironically, epic and legendary, may he rest in peace
@@trevorkeach6685 Stage 3 made me start crying and stage 4 made me go crazy and stage 5 is so little music it makes you scared i don’t know how to describe how i felt but when it got to distorted my emotions got bad IM SORRY IF I SOUND LIKE A LOSER BUT THIS ALBUM MESSED ME UP
I really don't get what people see in it. It's just Jazz music with static and the back half is just pointless noise. The same effect could have been had in 30 or 40 minutes without 3 or 4 hours of noise. Not trying to be facetious, can someone explain why this affects them? Because I just don't get it, I like jazz music but this bored the shit out of me, it was a slog to get through it. People told me it was the sound of hell, if hell is boredom then yeah, I guess. I feel like pretentious people try to read something into nothing.
SO- I found the original baller music that went into “it’s just a burning memory” It’s called Heartaches, and “it’s just a burning memory” IS A LYRIC IN THE SONG. Listening to it made the distorted song impact me so much more. Because I can imagine so perfectly now, that this was once a song with lyrics, one that was most cheery and cheesy and romantic, and now you’ve forgotten the lyrics… and the tune is just slightly off, and echoing around from somewhere faraway. But it’s not gone COMPLETELY yet, you have- a phrase from the song, you can still hum it to yourself. But no matter how much it feels like it’s just in the tip of your tung, it still just remains a burning memory
I think the last album cover is the back of a painting, not a blank canvas but the back of a paint like he’s gone and everything is behind him, the arts still there but it’s not visible anymore to us
“Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable” This coincidentally goes with a compilation of “weirdcore” images I saw earlier. Specifically a blurry image of a cymbal on its stand and a guitar leaning against a poorly lit wall. Something about image unsettled me more than others, but I found a commentor saying how the image gave them comfort. A surprisingly good example of this quote.
honestly, the only thing that scared me were the long arms (the 2nd picture) not sure why, everything else felt perfectly normal and i was okay with everything else, just not the arms???
I can handle gore. I can handle death. I can handle stories of some of the most disturbing shit going on in the world. But dementia is one of those things that genuinely terrifies me. I struggle with derealization and depersonalization sometimes due to trauma. I forget things very easily. The thought of something like that but it progressing on and on until you can’t even remember how to breathe? Absolutely terrifying.
I cant describe the fear as anything but true terror, something that when you think about it, It haunts you until the end of the day, something so scary that you cant get it out of the back of your mind, the fear that you wont be able to remember the people you've spent decades with, the fear the you wouldnt be able to continue making memories with the people that you love, if I am ever diagnosed or I realize that I have it I am giving all of my loved ones how I feel, and how much I truly love them, and then I will give my final goodbyes, I would end it, death is less horrifying than your brain slowly turning to much and having no resemblance of the people around you, I would much rather die remembering the experiences I've had then live on not knowing who I am, who anyone is, it's truly horrific
This project is not just a piece of art. It’s an experience. It literally mentally and physically in a way creates the experience just using the sound and titles alone. Nothing has come close to replicating this level of creativity and genius for me. I’m glad it’s becoming well known by this generation and we’re kind of unearthing it
The scariest thing I can imagine thinking about dementia is how when everyone else dies, their memories and whole life supposedly flash before their eyes right before they die, but what happens to dementia victims, what do they see if they see anything at all? Scares the everloving shit out of me
Strangely enough, there's been cases of people suddenly regaining their memories moments before they die. People so far gone they recognize nothing, their eyes glossy, hollow, and unfocused. But for a moment, their eyes clear. They train in, full of purpose, like a young 20 year old once more, and they recognize the people surrounding them, the life they lived, etc. The brain is a very strange, almost supernatural thing.
@@zed6234 There's a theory that the life flashing before your eyes phenomena is due to the brain shutting off in stages to shield your conscious self from the experience of dying. As these parts of the brain shut off one by one, your conscious tries to hold on to its shrinking reservoir of memories. Eventually, the last memories left are the deepest ones, your childhood, lost loved ones, and the experience of birth. If it's a near death experience and you're resuscitated before any serious brain damage sets in, those memories return as your brain wakes up.
@@newguy90 Which is uncharacteristically merciful of nature/life, isn't it? As brutally unforgiving all this is, it grants you peace before you go. It could just let you be consumed in fear as you die, but no.
imagine living your life making memories like your first kiss, first love, best day of your life, saddest day of your life, your wedding day, your child’s birthday and all your memories disappear just like that. the worse way to go.
I listened to this whole thing😪 My dad had dementia due to cancer and died in 1998. When I discovered this a year or so ago I felt like I needed to know where he was.... I had no idea how bad it really was. I have mental illness and this whole thing would have sent me to the hospital had I not been medicated. This is hell incarnate.
@@ABucketofJake it gets so much worse, as you get older. Turning 30 is fucking horrible. Do stuff with your life now, while you have the energy to do so
My grandpa died today, and he had dementia and I was recommended the video by a friend. This honestly breaks my heart so much, he lived every day in his apartment with nothing but a tv playing old tv shows, it honestly must have been terrible
Hi Felixandchanaraaussies. I just felt like checking back with you. This is hard, I know. I hope you are letting go of your grief and can start to focus on the bright memories you had with your grandpa. I had an awful lot of really negative feelings about losing both my parents practically within 24 hours of each other. Tons of unresolved stuff that I will never have a chance at resolving. Man, that road only leads downhill my brother. I let it all go. Have you ever heard the Alcohol Anonymous prayer? I used to run an AA meeting a while back. I disagree with a lot of the stuff that AA teaches but I kept the prayer close to me. It's called The Serenity Prayer. It goes something like this. God, give the the courage to face the things that I can change, the serenity to accept the things that I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference. I'm an atheist but those words are a powerful mantra. Thinking of you and yours with the best wishes in my heart, this gets a little easier every day. Peace my dude, have a beautiful day. Wayne.
Even the song titles alone are enough to make me feel sad. You can tell how much effort was put into this, from the songs themselves to the titles, and the artwork.
I showed this to my mom, who specializes in dementia, and now she’s showing all of her colleagues aswell. Thank you for making such a great video about this album, I would have never been able to describe it like you did. Also, a reminder: Dementia, in concept, is scary. Yes. But it doesn’t have to be. There are countless patients living their best lives. You don’t need your memories to be happy. Of course the process will be confusing, but you can make it 10x better with the right mindset.
Thank you for commenting this. I've been checking out this video and, although I don't know if any of my parents have any propensity to dementia (and even myself), it simply scares me to forget. My grandpa (who took care of my mom next to my grandma) ended up having Alzheimer while I was a baby, to the point that he wasn't able to go to the toilet by himself. My mom even described to me how my dad and one of her cousins had to carry my grandpa in order to change his diaper. Once again thank you for letting us know that there is a chance to have a fulfilling life even with dementia, somehow it gives me some peace.
this. i’m a caretaker and one of my clients has dementia, and one of the things that’s missing from these is that while he has his bad moods, oftentimes he’ll just be enamored and entertained by everything in his room like he’s experiencing it for the first time. he collects toys, and he’ll constantly grab toys he was just playing with and go, “where’d this guy come from?” and start joking about it, then move onto another and move right back. the way i approach working with dementia is that the moods and emotions are still there and still normal - the core of the person is still there, just all the details get scrambled. for instance, he’ll forget why he’s mad about something, but won’t forget THAT he’s mad, because brain chemicals don’t just disappear because you’ve forgotten why they’re there. it’s much less nightmarish if you can just vibe and roll with the punches. hell, my grandma suffered from it and battled hard to retain control, but towards the end there came an acceptance of it and for the first time in her life (she was always a headstrong type) she let others take control and became a lot more kind than before. it was still her, and she still struggled in some ways, but it wasn’t the same suffering she’d been enduring in the years leading up to it. like it wasn’t that she was gone, it’s that i was seeing a new side of her.
My favourite comment in there is how this album would sound with millennial songs. Imagine halfway through stage 4 you hear a distant "DJ KHALED" and "another one"
This is an absolute nightmare. Dementia is literally the scariest thing I can imagine. Slowly losing your memories, your identity, your ability to understand the world around you. Those self-portaits at the beginning really drove it home. By the final stages he looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize what he saw as a face. Imagine if your entire world was one of those unrecognizable pictures,, all day every day...Thank you for the insightful video. Stay strong everybody
This shit like froze me with fear. I don’t have great memory as it is, I’m terrified to move forward in life with the chance of experiencing this. It’ll probably wear off tomorrow...
Imagine this scenario: You’re a dementia patient, in the late stages. Memories have fully faded away, except a few. And the most prominent and clear memory that you can still hold onto; Everywhere At The End Of Time, by The Caretaker.
That would be infuriating for me. This album is beautiful and the project means so much, but I despise it with a passion. Knowing about this album has been hell for me since I’m very existential and I’m surrounded by older relatives in concerning stages of their health, and it would be humiliating at the end of my life to be locked in my head with the musical manifestation of what’s slowly killing me playing endlessly. In a way, I feel like this album isn’t worthy of being remembered at the end of my life. Not over the memories of my loved ones or major experiences that I haven’t had yet in the future. Hopefully I make sense. I respect this album, but it infuriates me.
@@Cheaty_Four You make perfect sense. The seemingly random chance that your brain could remember this, the audial manifestation of the very thing rotting it from the inside out infuriates you. IMO being angry about that is a good thing.
I literally started crying- Like 2-4 years ago i lost my grandfather and he had really bad dementia, and at that time i didn't know what it was like or how hard it was to go through that, my grandfather had even forgotten my name. After watching this it was like everything had been explained and i kinda got to understand what it was like for him, i now wish i could have said goodbye to him because i never got to as he was in a nursing home pretty far away from where we lived (and to add a bit more unluck to that we were gonna go to see him next week). To anyone who is having someone else or themselves go through this i am truly sorry that you have to go through that and/or see that happen.
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned this yet, but it looks like the painting at 8:41 is actually a reference to Girl with a Pearl Earring, which I think makes it ten times creepier because it’s like the person is trying to piece together this art but can’t.
Oh my god yes!! I'm 21 so I'm super young but when he said "the caretaker goes back DECADES, he started in 1999! 1999.." I was like wait-what's so impressive about that? That wasn't so long ago... And then Holy shit he's younger than me what! I'm not used to this happening!!
Her headdress somehow reminds me of the book from Phase 1, as if it were some kind of call-back, but I can't fully square that theory in a way that makes sense, which very well may be exactly the point.
this is crazy. My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimers/dementia, and I remember that he was denying it somewhere early in it. Stage two in the description states that they deny that something is wrong. This makes me so emotional because the album is not only sad, but extremally relatable.
I worked in a dementia ward. Imagine forgetting how to swollow, or forgetting how to walk and forgetting who you are or where you are. Every single day. It's strange though, what I found was that the patients would get a moment of clarity when they first wake up. One patient I remember sitting with and she turns to me 'I don't remember what I ate yesterday,' and i laughed and said 'yeah neither do I'. She didn't laugh. 'I don't remember what I ate for breakfast, I don't remember what I ate for lunch. I don't remember if I've ever eaten before.' She turns to me and cries 'I don't even know if I'm alive, what kind of torture is this. I've died but I'm still alive'. After a holding her for a while she goes back to sleep and wakes up like it never happened.
thank you for taking the time to put this together. it was very helpful to me and after watching, i immediately began listening to EatEoT 1-6. i really appreciate getting the "primer" first, so thanks again.
Welcome to the United States of America, where mental health is just “in your head” and “here, take these drugs that make you a zombie, but don’t actually treat the root of the problem”.
@@progenitor_amborella Can confirm, live in America, had anxiety problems for about 4-5 months, told me to either get over it or take medication. I “got over it”(no i didn’t).
Newcomer here, honestly love your explanation and bits of humor that calm the absolutely depressing parts of the album. I can handle blood, guts, bugs, snakes and tigers, serial killers and such but this broke me down. The bits of life that are all too common that most don’t want to talk about is seriously some dark stuff. Prayers to all and please take care of yourself!
but you cant wake up. Infact you aren't even aware of it being a nightmare or a dream or if you are sleeping at all. Everyhting just mash together into an existential illusion that you can't make heads and tails of. As you spiral ever further into the uncaring and cold grip of a living void, the process of the constant stream of motion that is you ceasing leaving behind an empty husk that grips at whatever leftover ashes of you. A feeling of constantly falling not knowing of up and down in ever lasting darkness.
there’s a channel called a charming abode where a women is documenting her husbands experience with Lewy body dementia I believe he’s in his 40s and got dementia from an accident at his work in the military . You can see him go a bit more and more every video, and you can tell the wife is slowly loosing her positivity . It’s a horrific watch
My grandma spent her last few years with Alzheimer's. At first, she would forget I was a male (I had long hair and my voice was even squeakier than it is now). She remembered I was her grandchild, however. Later on, I recall she would occasionally refer to me as "[My dad's] son" or something like niece or nephew rather than a grandchild. I don't remember (ironic, huh) what she was like between the "forgot-I-was-grandchild" phase and the phase she was completely incoherent, but by the time she was incoherent, I knew she had forgotten everything about me except that we were family. I remember, though, from my first memory with her to my last, she was always delighted to see me, my brother, and my dad. I don't know if she was just a happy person right to the grave or if she was only happy because she was with her family, but I hope it's the former. RIP Grammy, thanks for remembering me even if you had to try your damnest
@@voltaireentertainment If I were to start to get signs of it I might just do crazy shit like skydiving and then off myself in a really fucking fun and cool way. If I'm not enough in my mind to do any of that I would like my loved ones to pull the plug. Even if there was a miracle cure the next day, I wouldn't wanna sit around waiting while slowly losing reality.
@@theinternetpolice2078 yeah man. I lost my Grandma to COVID and she had Alzheimer’s. She ran away from home one day and ended up sleeping in a car a couple houses down the road. We had to put her in a nursing home to stay. Since COVID started to outbreak, the Nursing home cases were increasing. A lot of my favorite elderly people in the nursing home died. Then, my Grandma ended up in the hospital and we went to visit her in the hospital bed. She was put on a ventilator too. Possibly a couple days later, she passed away. We went to a funeral with my mother, aunt, uncle, cousins, and many other family members. I’m alright now. I’ve gotten over it but it’s still devastating.
The best piece about phase one is the Lyrics of the song used. "Heartaches" by Al Bowly. It really portrays memories going away, and memories being forgotten. Here's a sample of the lyrics: "Heartaches, heartaches My loving you meant only heartaches Your kiss was such a sacred thing to me I can't believe it's just a burning memory"
I'm a music therapist who has worked for years with people with dementia, and I absolutely love this album because i feel it helped deepen my empathy and understanding towards my clients. on a personal level, i find it incredibly difficult to sit through as my family has a history of dementia. it brings up the fear that i could one day be diagnosed also (though it's not likely). to me, losing the memories of one's own life is worse than death itself. i love that you mentioned that music is one of the last memories people can connect with, as it justifies the importance of music to not only be a form of entertainment but a vital source of connection to the world and memories they hold. I was unaware that The Caretaker actually composed all the music for the project, I thought he had raided his family's vinyl collection or something and had just thrown a filter on each track >.< i have even more respect for the work now. your video was an incredible overview, thank you for sharing it!
I share that same sentiment "losing the memories of one's own life is worse than death itself" reminds me a bit of what Bladerunner has taught me personally with the whole "tears in the rain" message.
here's one of the most prominent samples from the first few stages - Al Bowlly's 'Heartaches' - ua-cam.com/video/D4cJfCmNiwQ/v-deo.html He didn't compose it all, per se, but I don't think that diminishes the project one bit :)
He didn’t compose all of it, many of the compositions (especially on the first stage) are looped samples of old jazz records, which have been altered with crackle, etc. I recommend checking out WhoSampled.com, as a lot of the originals have been found on there. But yeah, all of the compositional changes are his own doing, but they do draw from source material
My grammy had Alzheimers She was an amazing person. Sometimes it felt like she was living halfway in our world and half in another world. It's painful because you miss someone while they're still there. She was happy, at least. We spoiled the heck out of that lady. She earned it. I miss her
Mine's going through the exact same thing currently. I never see her anymore because she doesn't know who I am anymore. It hurts really, really bad. I love her.
as someone who is a newly hired care partner [in training at this time lol] at a nursing home in the assisted living part, this album is an eye-opener and a great way to truly understand into the lives of dementia residents through a musical perspective. the way their minds gradually deteriorate over time is heartbreaking, especially if you have worked with a resident whose dementia has progressively got worse as you took care of them during a long period of time. i recommended looking up teepa snow, a dementia expert and advocate who has been bringing to light the issues behind this disease for years. she has developed positive ways to approach care for dementia patients. remember, with each dementia patient, their rate of progression will always differ from case to case. stay cool ya'll :)
It runs as a brutal pattern in my dad's side, and unfortunately, my dad has been put into the red zone. I makes me wonder that if his existential, deeply terrified fear of him knowing he may forget everything, forget his life, forget his wrongdoings and forget his amendments to those wrongdoings, he was trying his absolute best to try to turn his life with my family around in a good way.
There’s a lot of different things to help your brain at least stay healthier for longer, it won’t stop dementia from appearing but it will at least prolong whatever bit of well, you, you have left. Try filling your brain with more information than ever before, try learning an instrument, or a new language, hell just watch educational videos in general to just fill up your brain. The more you know and the longer you know it the harder it is for you to forget. Hopefully you won’t have to rely on any of things I said and just live a normal dementia free life, stay strong man.
"when the music goes, so do they" That hit me hard. I spent years living with my pa as he fell into dementia. The more it progressed, the more he started tapping his fingers in the same beat. When he was finally too long gone for us to cope living with him, and he no longer argued about going into aged care, we put him into it. I never thought about this until I saw this video, but he had completely stopped tapping. He was just this husk of what he used to be. I can't imagine how hard that was for my mum, she worked as a nurse in that aged care facility. Having your own father as a patient, knowing he knew absolutely nothing about you every time you walked in would be absolutely tragic.
I sang to my grandfather a week before he died of dementia. He was unresponsive when I walked in, As I sat there, nothing. I sang and he turned to me with his sunken face, grabbed my hand, and said my name (well deadname, I transitioned after he was already mentally checked out.) I should’ve felt relieved he remembered me, should’ve felt hopeful that he’d make a comeback. But I didn’t. His death grip on my hand and measly whimpers scared me so bad I stopped singing. I could hardly breathe as he started to freak out. I left as quickly as I could. I loved my grandpa but once the mind is ravished by dementia...there is absolutely nothing left but a husk of who I once knew.
I euthanized my dog the other day. It is a blessing they can go like that. He was comfortable and happy. It is cruel to put an elderly man with dimensia in a home, but unless you want to go to jail for murder what choice do you have
My grandma was diagnosed with dementia around 4 years ago... its depressing seeing an once joyfull and intelligent lady slowly fade into someone who barely gets out of bed.. and barely remembers anything. Now what scares me more is what she felt during all this journey.. despite how we viewed her.. this album is indeed genius.. it put me into so much thinking
I've been thinking a lot about what the scariest music could be. Stage 3 and onwards was almost exactly what I imagined, but I couldn't describe it before I actually listened to it
I had an old online friend who I stopped talking to a few years ago and I finally decided to send a message asking how they're doing, wondering if they'd pick up. A few months later I got a text back saying that they're suffering from Frontotemporal dementia, and that they had forgotten who I was or what we used to talk about. We played so many online games, listened to the same music, and we had so many late night talks. It hurts, bros.
that is truly unfortunate. My Grandma currently has severe dementia and seeing her decline in health in the room next to me is hard to watch. It wasn't until I saw this video that I truly empathize with the fear she must be feeling while everything around her becomes unfamiliar even if its the faces she's lived with for years. My grandma on my moms side has severe brain atrophy and seeing this decline in health I can't imagine anything worse especially wince she lives 3 time zones away by herself. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I hope times get better
@@draquilacasket1719 That's terrifying. Maybe the person can look through past messages between you two? Idk, this whole video and comment section is just so sad.
Imagine making this and having to listen over and over through the hours of these disturbing audios just to make sure they really capture what they are meant to.
7:14 The scariest part is how he didn’t die soon after his last portrait in 2000, he lived like that until 2007. He got to the point where he didn’t recognize his own face and lived for SEVEN more years.
I work in an elderly peoples house specised in dementia, over a hundred residents with dementia are living there. We have some people living in the sixth stage for years now. Some of them lying in bed all day and I am pretty sure that they forget the existence of their own body. Sometimes when I give them their puree they forget that they have to swallow it to eat and I have to remember them. But if it helps, many people die already in phase 5 and some other go from 4 to 6 within a year before they die. I often get a feeling that they decide themselves when it's time to go, like it makes click and from one day to another, they get sicker and sicker and within one or two weeks they are gone, no matter how active they were before this last process.
the first song of the first stage "it's just a burning memory" is sampled from the 1930's song Heartaches by Al Bowlly, with "it's just a burning memory" being a lyric that shows up once, this could indicate that someone remembers the song, but can only remember some lyrics and the rhythm but not the title
there’s also C3 ( I think? ) - What does it matter how my heart breaks basically another variation of heartaches. AND there another song in Stage 3 named “ And Heart Breaks “ with its elements basically falling apart.
Him: if you aren’t in the best state mentally wait to watch this
All of us, not in the best state mentally: 👀
👀
👃🏿
👄
👁 👄 👁
lmao
Really excited to dive into this
👂👁️👃👁️👂
Virgin lofi beats to relax and study to vs Chad *post-awareness stage 6 is without description*
I love existential terror while I study
666th like
1111st like
Chill beats to die to.
White noise and void crashes to be paranoid to
stage 6 album cover is actually genius. it's a painted canvas but seen from the back. the memory is here, but the patient can no longer see it.
Damn
soon the more you look at it, the more you forget the memory, the painting, is there. all it is is just a blank canvas, nothing elsr
Basically stage 6 is your mindless your thoughts are gone aswell your memories only extremely basic moments and instinct. Your dead but not physically but mentally, a living meat sack.
I LOVE THAT
Shit man that is deep
My mom had dementia but she never forgot me. She could be back in her mind to a time before I was born, but somehow she always recognized me. The last time she said "I love you" to me was 2 nights before she died. I said "I love you too" and she said "I love you more. I love you more than you could ever know." I kind of feel like that was her goodbye to me. She slept through most of the last two days, and her last words were asking for a Coke (she was a lifelong Coca-Cola super fan).
I’m sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like my mom. She’s always forgetting things and is huge fan of Coca-Cola.
terachad mom
My mom’s last words were I’m so scared I have to pee. She as in my arms. She had predementia from brain damage, and tho she hadn’t developed full dementia yet, it was horrific for her. The one thing my mom always had was her brain. She could learn anything, read a 1k book in hours. She was 2pts shy of being an actual genius. Loosing her ability to figure things out was horrifying for her. She liked talking sht on twitter & she’d drive me crazy asking me why she couldn’t get it to work. She’d always think she broke her phone and I’d explain you couldnt fck up an iPhone. She died bc she was an obsessive smoker & so her lungs took her out before her brain failed her completely. My sister says it was a mercy but I haven’t been right since. She had an incredible life and wanted to write her story but never could.
This comment made me cry the fastest out of any I've seen so far.
Atleast she remembered to go too sleep
i dont wanna die on a deathbed losing all my memory i wanna die saying "hey dude hold my beer and watch this".
I’d rather die in an instant than over years. Let’s just hope that sleeping pills will still have the potential to be lethal to me in like 50 or 60 years.
LMAO,,,
@@hughmungus7015 By the time I'm too decrepit to be of much use to my future family, I'd want to go out like a Scandinavian elder. Jumping off a huge cliff, preferably while coming down from all the psychedelics possible, seems like a glorious view to end on.
We all start to die the second we are born.
When I realise I’m too old to do anything I’d love anymore, or I realise I’m starting to decay mentally, I’ll try to have the most painless yet fantastic death possible for me. Go out with a bang, as you’d say.
By far, the most disturbing line is,
“Phase 5 is the last cry of wanting to remember.”
Ik I felt sick reading that
Everything about this fills me with dread. A deep, shuddering, dread.
Forgetting that you've forgotten.... Thinking about it makes me want to scream but the sound won't pass my lips.
Reading that made me very sad
@@sarahgraves6759 Indeed.
"Phase 6 is without a description"
Existential horror beats to relax and study to.
Lofi psychological horror music to study and relax to
I used the album as background music
24/7 existential crisis beats livestream
Relax? Nah that ain’t gonna happen
Ngl it do be like that for me .I listen to it so often.
The saddest thing is mourning a person that’s still alive.
This caught me so off-guard and FUCK did it hit, Holy Moly. I have seen it happen, it is something you live the rest of your life wishing you hadn't had to. Not for you, but the other person.
Copied comment. Original comment is “The hardest thing to do is to mourn the loss of someone who is still alive”
Going through it now with my father.
Thats what makes it easier to let go ..everyone should have to take care of there grandparents and parents when they get old and need it people who throw them to a home or worse never get to heal from it
Ouch. Heavy.
This was really sad right up until I got a John Cena Takis add
I got a John Cena Hefty add
youtube knew you needed something to cheer up so they gave you that
@@IAMHAPPY5290 Strange, UA-cam is never generous
lolllol
I got Kentucky Fried Chicken
"Don't watch this video if you're not in the best place mentally"
*Too late buddy.*
Axolotl gang
Badly drawn pfp gang
omg can i have your pfp please?
Huh?
Fuck listening at night. Be Too paranoid to look my dark room.
"When the music goes, so do they."
That is fucking scary. Music is literally part of the soul
I wonder what happens if you're deaf
@@ven-1972 feel the vibrations
No, not literally
Or bc brain stuff
That line gave me chills. I guess it really is true, if a dementia patient's favorite song is the last thing they remember. Once that goes, there's literally nothing left of them as a person.
the most devastating thing in the description is "stage 6 is without description"
all the words were said, all the tears were cried out, there is only a dead person whose body is still alive and long wait for their suffer to end
Well said
Now THAT’S a description
the entire album ends with a pure minute of nothing but silence
A literal minute of silence for the departed.
Life’s a party and when it’s over... well... we all go home.
and then where’s home?
@@C0ID the ground
@@C0ID heaven or hell
Maybe we only figure out what home is when we get there, but it's best we don't get home soon then. Enjoy the party while it lasts, y'know?
i am now deathly afraid of dementia
Women are more likely to get it because they dont do hrt after menopause. You can help prevent it by doing that as estrogen has protective qualities to the brain lookitup ifyou care idk
@@jameskelly7403 oh shit
It's okay, you'll forget you even have it.
John Doe I can’t tell if that’s worse or not
@@John-X i dead
Imagine your consciousness fading away and the last memory you have is the bruh sound effect 2
Bruh
Bruh
*b r u h*
There you are, with late stage dementia, lying in bed, with your daughter next to you.
Suddenly, in your blank mind, a flash of memory - music - a sound of the past, comes to you. You struggle to grasp onto it, you widen your eyes, you open your mouth, and with your weak breath, you say a word.
B R U H
About to die, start remembering Ram Ranch in my head
The most terrifying part about this album is that the people actually experiencing this can’t just “turn it off”. It’s forever.
Fax, we can pause it at any moment, I hadn't even considered that
"If you're lucky, your body will die along with your brain"
You can now play as *vegetable*
@@anti-degenerateshitposter4839 💀
@@anti-degenerateshitposter4839 *Congratulations: You've unlocked: God mode*
@@anti-degenerateshitposter4839 😆
@Pizza with no bones hell ye
Name 7 words that hit harder than “post-awareness stage 6 is without description”
It's pretty terrifying. Perhaps... "Now in dementia, I am perfectly calm."
wher were u when club penguin die
Minecraft’s about to have its last update
shrek 5 probably won't release anytime soon
Name 7 words that hit harder than
Imagine being chad enough to go " Oh, I have dementia? lemme make it an art project " and actually follow through.
Legit though, but probably someone reminded him through the years.
@@giasharie274 Yeah that's true..
@@giasharie274 not just remembering to do it, but even being able to put a brush onto a canvas.
@@alexsiemers7898 The very last self-portrait was not even a painting, only pencil and paper. As far as I know, it was made seven years before his death.
william utermollen :boom:
As someone who worked in a nursing home, this album hit differently. Dementia is flat-out horrifying. It's not just slowly killing you, it's killing your consciousness first. The lucky ones die from some other condition before you lose yourself. Those who aren't so lucky eventually...fade away. It's a horror beyond comprehension. Seeing so many people go from telling tales of the "golden days" to being unable to even speak...no words can describe that fear. And I saw it day after day.
I'm fortunate that all of my grandparents died completely lucid. Even my 98-year-old grandmother still had wit as sharp as a straight razor. Then again, I've had a major concussion already in my life, so I might not be so lucky.
OOF. I'm so sorry to hear that. You are a great person though, working hard to make these people's last days a little bit more bearable despite their conditions.
It sounds truly challenging.. But people like you is what everyone needs.
And I'm happy to hear your grandparents went out with their consciousness
If it helps, I have ADD so that might also put me in the firing range. So I guess you're not alone?
Im 15, And i know that my mom had a severe head injury needing surgery at 8 months old. Sorta scared but not sure
@@BucketOfFukreal, but my great grandmother had dementia, although she was somewhat conscious. my grandmother is also showing signs of memory loss, so i’m also in the firing range 😞😞
Bro... the self portraits that guy with dementia did really creeped me tf out...
If you really look at it, he drew the back of his head and you can see his face because his head is empty.
How did he remember to draw the portraits?
@@Zephyr_Uhh Maybe he told his caretaker to make sure he draws them every year
@@federalbureauofinvestigati5813 wait a damn minute....
I kinda see a goose in the last one..
"Don't listen to this if you aren't in a good mental place" buddy thats why i'm here
@Lakas Tama If your schizophrenic, depressed, etc. It can really mess you up.
I ignored his warning and listened anyway. That was a month ago, I think, and only now do I feel well enough to even think about it again. I didn't even listen to the whole album but I had insomnia and bad anxiety for a week afterwards.
@@cloudthief8918 I'm sorry to hear that, however, from a personal artistic standpoint, this could not be better news
Take your meds schizo
Cloud Thief urn- i dont wanna listen to it anymore
can't wait to be 90 and be haunted by a distorted version of sandstorm
Sounds familiar... ua-cam.com/video/13vBQfal87k/v-deo.html
Oh no-
Song name?
😂😂😂😂😂🖤💙🖤💙👍
Lmao
5 years of dementia, 3 of those years in a nursing home and having been dead for a year and a half now, going through this with my grandpa was the worst thing that I have ever experienced. I'm just a fucking kid, and suddenly I was being put into this situation of watching my grandpa - one of the people I loved the most - slowly fade away. I visited him quite frequently, but those visits were never a good thing, never something I looked forward to. I witnessed his movements get weirder, his speech suffer and his eyes going blank. In the end he was just a shell, a clump of meat. He wasn't grandpa, he was some weirdo standing with his arms along his sides looking into the ground with a diaper on. I wasn't there when he went, and thank god to that. But my mother was. She would call, and I would hear her suffering watching her own dad die right in front of her in a grusome way I wish to never experience. He was alive, but not in a way where you could communicate with him. Not in a way where you could look him in the eyes and think "I love you grandpa," but in a way where you would look him in the eyes and think "just fucking die already, please". Or at least that's how I percieve the experience from small bits of my mother talking about it. And I can't blame her. Like I said, I wasn't there in his weakest moments, I had specifically said I didn't want to see him again after visiting him 6 months prior to his death. And I feel bad. I hate myself for that. It is one of my biggest regrets, and not giving back my grandpa the love and attention he had given me the 13 long years of my life is something I beat myself up about. He didn't deserve for me to abandon him, yet I was so selfish as to put myself before him. I'm so split on this, and I don't know how to think about anything. I hate all of this. I wish I could wipe clean all of this. Guilt has hijacked all those once so wonderful memories of him. I just want grandpa back...
I hope that you can forgive yourself little dude, as you did the best you could at that time - and thats all Any of us can do!,I Totally understand you may have had the need to protect yourself from being subjected to even More trauma of seeing your Grandpa that way.try to think of it as self defense as oppossed to selfishness. Aging is a disease that is very cruel.I hope that you can concentrate on the good memories,and realize that you didnt really abandon grandpa as the Grandpa you knew and loved was no longer home. what you did was get yourself in a lifeboat - and thats Okay,hard as it is,sometimes we have to save ourselves.we know what and how much we can handle.
I hope you can let go of the guilt,stop letting it hijack all the good,take that good back and hold onto it,and keep holding it.dont let nothing and Nobody steal it from you!.
Im sorry you went through that,life can be hard.Loving can be painful. i would encourage you to hold onto the love you have and the good memories you have of your Grandpa before the dementia and be kind to yourself and Go Well.
@@pipperywhippetsnippe thank you
hey -- i dunno if you're still checking these comments but for what it's worth, don't get upset at yourself over it. you were just a kid at the end of the day. you didn't fully understand what was happening to him, just that it was scary and horrible to watch. and it is! it's terrifying to wrap your head around especially when you're younger. and it's understandable that at the time all you knew is you didn't want to watch. i think what matters is that you remember him and you love him still. in that sense, you never truly abandoned him if you still remember him.
take care. love yourself. hope your new year's been a bit brighter. 🫶
@@nightones I wrote this thing in pure emotion, and looking back at it, I find it a bit overdramatic and cringe. Still, thank you. It helps a lot to hear this, stay awesome.
@@azgerrr nothing embarrassing in being raw about emotions like these bud! but i get it, sometimes you just start writing and forget how calm you were when you started explaining haha. you take care too. 🫶
The artwork for stage 6 is apparently meant to be a painting turned around, representing how you cannot access anything that makes sense in this stage
Yo that’s actually so smart
I always saw it as a advanced dementia patient's perception of a door.
They are so far gone that even a door is incomprehensible.
@@dannylamb456 to me i thought it was the back of a door, as if youre dead now.
@@jadeblades For what it's worth, I saw it as a literal incomplete blank canvas, as in the artist themself had no purpose to create art in the first place. I love your interpretations.
I looked at stage six art as nothing left, an empty canvas, and with the canvas (the brain) having no pictures (memories) left it too is starting to deteriorate into inevitable nothingness
For all you youngsters out there, fearing death and dementia, don’t. Live your life day by day. I am a therapist who worked with elderly people and specialised in dementia. My relationship with death has changed, when you work in that environment and do a lot of palliative care, when more of your life is spent with the dying than the living, just know, death is just a natural progression of life, and when the time comes, you will be ready..so enjoy every day that you are breathing, and don’t hasten the end, it’s coming anyway, so make the very best of this gift you have been given..the gift of life, and share it with all the people you meet. As to dementia..again, that’s nothing you have any control over, so no point worrying about it. I hate it too, and I spent well over a decade caring for people with dementia..but it was also one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. (terrible pay tho). It’s harder on families to watch the person they knew and loved disappearing, and the first stage is awful, because the person knows what is happening to them, I always hope that bit will pass quickly..but I also believe that the person they are is alive and well in there somewhere, and the occasional bouts of lucidity prove that..as a musician, which is how I ended up working in aged and dementia specific care in the first place, the power of music to heal, even if for only one hour or ten minutes is indisputable..so, summing up..don’t waste your life thinking about death, be the best you but don’t get tied up in self-absorption, the mirror won’t tell you who you are, neither will a camera, and dementia again, no control. Just hope that you’ll be healthy, although my observation in residential care is you either keep your body or your mind..but then again all four of my grandparents, my great grandmother and her sister lived very long lives physically and mentally fit. Just live.
Thank you for your wisdom :)
Lmao
Ÿeagerbömb what are you laughing at? Curious, not offended.
@@virginiaviola5097 since you're a therapist what should I do if I am having like y'know.. suicidal thoughts cuz I think its gonna become a problem for me in future
Virginia viola musics pretty sad but not that deep
My mother had Alzheimer's, and I was her caregiver. As her condition worsened, she kept listening to the 1940's and Easy Listening music channels on SiriusXM satellite radio. When she truly started losing her memories, she told me that she hoped she died before she got worse.
For what it's worth, she got her wish.
I hope she's in a better place..
Same with my dad. I miss him terribly and it's still raw because recent, but what a horrible thing for all involved.
Yeah, Im stopping here
The comments are wayy to dark
May dad told me to smother him with a pillow if he got dementia and if it's anything like this album suggests....I'm ok with it
My condolences.
I worked at a dementia center for awhile but had to quit because I just couldn't handle the overwhelming sadness and chaos there. My heart goes out to all my fellow CNAs who work in dementia centers. Yall are amazing!
I remember the first time I encountert a patient with dementia. I was 15. She kept asking for her mom. I didn't know what to do, but it hit me so hard, that this grown woman kept frantically asking for her mom. My teacher told us that dementia is like growing backwards. You learn new things for your whole life and then you just unlearn and forget. It's scary.
its much worse than that, The confusion added, like life its just an extremely haze and foggy dream, constantly on a limbo state, selfaware of how reality escapes from your hands, Dementia its much much worse than that definition.
Benjamin button just changed completely
Imagine if someone’s last memory was this exact album.
Then I would cry
That man will X-X
imagine someone's last core memory is bruh sound effect x2
@@cleensbear well that made my day
That wouldn’t be horrifying, because you wouldn’t know how to feel scared anymore.
"Forget forgetting" is a scary concept.
Photographic memory turned up to eleven. You remember everything you see, hear, feel. Every grain of sand in a desert, every sound you hear in the city, everything you've touched in your life.
No matter how hard you try, you cant stop thinking all of these things, for you cant forget them.
Every murder you've witnessed, every scream of pain and release, every uncomfortable things you've touched.
You can't stop it.
You can't stop it.
You can't stop it.
You can't stop it.
Till, your mind can't anymore, and it just stops.
Now, it finally stops, but you don't have anything, you don't know anything, you can't anything.
Nothing is nothing, everything is nothing.
It
Just
Stops.
@@Zawmbbeh ...room?
. . . _y o u ? ?_
It sounds like "Funes el memorioso" or in english: "Funes the memorious" its a short story that explores that theme, read it, fuckimg amazing
E4439qv5 Yi Odon’t Uremember Rwhat Ri Oam Oanymore Mrecently.
My grandma has dimentia and she is going through that right now.
Please don’t ever delete this video, I come back to it every month or so, amazing work
Dementia isn’t just losing your memory, it’s losing your reality. I think the album perfectly captures that feeling, even though I have not known anyone with this disease. That I believe is the true power of art.
when they lose their memories, they lose themselves.
Exactly, people misconstrue that part a lot, it’s why dementia is so god damn terrifying.
Ok, at this point you can't just assume this guy is faking, like seriously i didn't listen to it but when i saw the behaviors of the commenters, i was like "ok this music is giving some weird mental and emotional behaviors", this gotta be sent into the news no matter what
Hey man, I'm thinking about making an album like everywhere at the end of time. What do you think about this?
@@aniwithanideamusic9908 I don't know you at all, I recommend you ask your subscribers, put up a pull asking yes or no, if they say yes. Go ahead but if Its a no Don't do it.
the quote "art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" by cesar a. cruz is something i can't describe with simple words
i've heard it describe people's work like jack stauber but this is by far the most fitting
Jack's work is comforting to the disturbed. He made songs about the life you led before your death. Your struggles, and the obstacles in your path. How was the view from the shelf? Did you ever believe in yourself? Saying that we shouldn't die immediately not because death is bad, but because death is the last step in life. Killing yourself in your teens is like eating the cone before the ice cream, a desert. And you don't eat desert before finishing dinner. He sang about glory after death. That even if you die without getting your dues, your work can live beyond those who lived longer. You're finally a star.
Meanwhile caretaker is disturbing to the comfortable. Because comfort requires the continuation of the mundane. This album's later stages are like going back to an abandoned childhood home at night. It's quite, no one is with you. You look through the small circle of visibility a flashlight can provide. Then you see your childhood couch, torn and burned. It's barely recognizable. Then it breaks apart.
All the memories you had on it. The shows you watched. The movies you viewed. The laughs you had. They now have no material possessions to attach to. Nothing you can see to remind you of those times.
Just
your
memory.
My name is Cruz :l
I've heard that phrase with both Jack and Erik Satie
I get that vibe from David Firth as well and his salad fingers series
@@cybercrasherstv beautifully put together
Me: *walks in the store*
Store: *empty*
Speakers:
This is an actual meme
ua-cam.com/video/ja1ssqzkDrs/v-deo.html
I walked into a krogers a few days ago at 10pm and i didnt see a single person for the first minute in there it was unnerving.
@@rpgeek22 ANY gas station store or convenience store gives this eerie vibe like lol its fucking 8pm and I am entering the void
@i don't remember my name You look around and the walls disappear along with the ceiling.
My grandmother died from dementia in 2020. My father is already showing signs of dementia and I'm pretty sure I'll die from it as well in the far future, since it runs in the family. It's truly the most terrifying and raw example of how your own mind can slowly drain and kill you, both physically and mentally. This piece was shown to me by an old friend but has stuck to me and I think about it from time to time. Never stopped making me feel uneasy and a sense of existential dread. Depressing shit...
2020 is thw wost year and sorry for your lost
Hi, are you okay?
Hi, are you okay?
hi!! with dementia, get checked for it NOW. get checked for it as soon as you can. if you start taking precautions and get treatments for it now there is a chance you will be able to avoid getting it. by the time you start experiencing symptoms (if you do) then it’ll be too late, that’s why dementia is a death sentence for people who are older
Make sure to get some work in your body and play some video games a few hours a day!
People take memories for granted. They don’t understand how once a memory is gone, it almost never comes back. And the idea of forgetting your entire life is one of the most terrifying ideas to imagine.
Losing memories sounds kind of poetic, the idea that you only cherish something after you lose it, but there is nothing to be cherished. You feel you know what happened but it has been returned to zero, completely nullified. Which I suppose may be one of the contributors to why this album is so depressing.
hell you can even lose your memories without deminsia from just trauma
although you can atleast get the memories back eventully usually
there's that idea that memory is your brain's evidence of your own life. so if you lose memory, it's like you've lost a bit of your life permanently.
@@reptilianhuntress9968
That would explain a lot for me. I've dealt with some difficult stuff in my lifetime which, although I am undiagnosed, I'm certain it gave me some level of PTSD, and when I try to look back across the years, I find that I can remember my rough times much better than I can remember my life before then, which is mostly all a blur. It's really sad, actually, because happy memories supposedly make it easier to get through hard times. I don't have many happy memories left that I can remember off the top of my head.
Imagine being on your death bed and the last thing you remember is Dream's song
"I wear a mask with a smile for hours at a time"
Dies
jokes on you that can't happen because you have to actually like the song
That's what the mask for 💀
Demential amounts of ghost busting
The Bad Ending
I’m gonna be honest. I’ve never felt so sad, scared, terrified, happy, depressed, disturbed, alone, and confused at the same time before. I think i felt every emotion.
Do you listen to it all at once or different parts at different times?
@@connorsmith2205 I listened to it all I once, which makes it a better experience, but if you do end up taking brakes and listening in segments then you would want to take short breaks probably. But idk I listened to it the whole way through
Same
i only feel happy, i dont understand what u guys r talking about lol
@@berrybunny9219 yeah, its literally everyone else who feels this is a dark and depressing album and you’re the normal one
I remember my mom talking to me about a dementia patient. She said that every morning she would wake up, feed her cat, then go get breakfast. The disturbing part was that the cat died years ago and she was still putting food in the cats bowl. It was depressing to hear.
If she would feed her cat every morning, but there was no cat to feed, then what was she feeding? And if she was putting food into a bowl every morning, what happened to that food? Like did it become empty, and if so how? Did it not go away and if so what of the massive pileup of cat food? I’m so confused at this.
@@litessbu well it probably just stacked over and over, not like she would care or notice enough to clean
My grandfather had dementia and for the last 8 years of his life was barely coherent. In his last moments he held my grandmother's hand, sung her a love song from their youth, and then died.
thats’s just heartbreaking
rest in paradise.
thats both phisically uncommon, and romantic, the term might be very overused for memes lately but i think that that is unironically, epic and legendary, may he rest in peace
That makes me feel sad
@David Sanchez Wow, way to ruin a good post. Have you ever thought to think before you post?
I kinda want to listen to it all the way through but I low key feel like I’d go insane or some shit
I havent
Me too my nigga i dont want dementia
@DJ DOZY is it actually? i’m so confused bc how does distorted music make u feel weird. i want to listen to it but i don’t at the same time
Do eet.
@@trevorkeach6685 Stage 3 made me start crying and stage 4 made me go crazy and stage 5 is so little music it makes you scared i don’t know how to describe how i felt but when it got to distorted my emotions got bad IM SORRY IF I SOUND LIKE A LOSER BUT THIS ALBUM MESSED ME UP
Imagine these tracks put in a horror game, like a really good. fcking scary horror game. i wouldnt even be able to play it
Some music that sounds like it is in bio sock
What about in presentable liberty? Would that work?
A new backrooms horror game with these sounds
This with distorted trumpets from half life.
I really don't get what people see in it.
It's just Jazz music with static and the back half is just pointless noise.
The same effect could have been had in 30 or 40 minutes without 3 or 4 hours of noise.
Not trying to be facetious, can someone explain why this affects them?
Because I just don't get it, I like jazz music but this bored the shit out of me, it was a slog to get through it.
People told me it was the sound of hell, if hell is boredom then yeah, I guess.
I feel like pretentious people try to read something into nothing.
SO- I found the original baller music that went into “it’s just a burning memory”
It’s called Heartaches, and “it’s just a burning memory” IS A LYRIC IN THE SONG. Listening to it made the distorted song impact me so much more. Because I can imagine so perfectly now, that this was once a song with lyrics, one that was most cheery and cheesy and romantic, and now you’ve forgotten the lyrics… and the tune is just slightly off, and echoing around from somewhere faraway. But it’s not gone COMPLETELY yet, you have- a phrase from the song, you can still hum it to yourself. But no matter how much it feels like it’s just in the tip of your tung, it still just remains a burning memory
I think the last album cover is the back of a painting, not a blank canvas but the back of a paint like he’s gone and everything is behind him, the arts still there but it’s not visible anymore to us
You, are one great genuis!
So true
Great theory
Yeah but it has tape on it, and that's usually used to hold a thin canvas. But there's no canvas on the board, no painting.
“Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable”
This coincidentally goes with a compilation of “weirdcore” images I saw earlier. Specifically a blurry image of a cymbal on its stand and a guitar leaning against a poorly lit wall. Something about image unsettled me more than others, but I found a commentor saying how the image gave them comfort. A surprisingly good example of this quote.
This sounds really cool. Where could I find these images?
@@ElementiaYT ua-cam.com/video/OhhiNnFvcxY/v-deo.html
you are too comfortable. You need to get in more confrontations with band instruments
You got a link to that image? Curious how I’ll see it.
honestly, the only thing that scared me were the long arms (the 2nd picture) not sure why, everything else felt perfectly normal and i was okay with everything else, just not the arms???
I can handle gore. I can handle death. I can handle stories of some of the most disturbing shit going on in the world. But dementia is one of those things that genuinely terrifies me. I struggle with derealization and depersonalization sometimes due to trauma. I forget things very easily. The thought of something like that but it progressing on and on until you can’t even remember how to breathe? Absolutely terrifying.
same. i fear getting burned alive as well
I don't get it
@Tip Toe damn you’re making me read those, challenge accepted
I cant describe the fear as anything but true terror, something that when you think about it, It haunts you until the end of the day, something so scary that you cant get it out of the back of your mind, the fear that you wont be able to remember the people you've spent decades with, the fear the you wouldnt be able to continue making memories with the people that you love, if I am ever diagnosed or I realize that I have it I am giving all of my loved ones how I feel, and how much I truly love them, and then I will give my final goodbyes, I would end it, death is less horrifying than your brain slowly turning to much and having no resemblance of the people around you, I would much rather die remembering the experiences I've had then live on not knowing who I am, who anyone is, it's truly horrific
Same
the final stage was the first time i have ever cried at a song. the sudden angelic chorus caught me so off guard that i couldnt help but cry.
It's almost like a person growing up in reverse
That's a good observation
So the Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Yes, reminds me of a man named benjamin
growing down
that's just dying but longer
Imagine the last memory you have before dying is gangster's paradise
They start singing the chorus and it just flatlines
That would be the most badass dementia
@@mucegai7854 yeah alot better than raining blood by slayer
The choir part as you die
“Goodbye cruel world”
*”AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”*
Man, dying of old age sounds horrible. I'm signing up for skydiving.
Were you dead before you were born
@@ozzylepunknown551 No
@@awesomemantroll1088 why not
@@ozzylepunknown551 I think you have your English translation wrong.
@@awesomemantroll1088 are you talking about bible rn. I dont believe in the bible, but i am open for someone Who can change my mind.
This project is not just a piece of art. It’s an experience. It literally mentally and physically in a way creates the experience just using the sound and titles alone. Nothing has come close to replicating this level of creativity and genius for me. I’m glad it’s becoming well known by this generation and we’re kind of unearthing it
Tales from topographic oceans!
By Yes!
Im not scared of dieing, Im scared of being old.
Yep
This is my dread.
If I get diagnosed with dementia, Im going to overdose in my sleep. If im dying, Im dying with my memories.
Uhm, no. You are scared of dying. You know that they are old people who are lively and in good shape?
yeah i doubt i’ll let myself get old :)
The scariest thing I can imagine thinking about dementia is how when everyone else dies, their memories and whole life supposedly flash before their eyes right before they die, but what happens to dementia victims, what do they see if they see anything at all? Scares the everloving shit out of me
Strangely enough, there's been cases of people suddenly regaining their memories moments before they die. People so far gone they recognize nothing, their eyes glossy, hollow, and unfocused. But for a moment, their eyes clear. They train in, full of purpose, like a young 20 year old once more, and they recognize the people surrounding them, the life they lived, etc. The brain is a very strange, almost supernatural thing.
@Natailyee like suction cup man!!
@@zed6234 There's a theory that the life flashing before your eyes phenomena is due to the brain shutting off in stages to shield your conscious self from the experience of dying. As these parts of the brain shut off one by one, your conscious tries to hold on to its shrinking reservoir of memories. Eventually, the last memories left are the deepest ones, your childhood, lost loved ones, and the experience of birth. If it's a near death experience and you're resuscitated before any serious brain damage sets in, those memories return as your brain wakes up.
@@newguy90 Which is uncharacteristically merciful of nature/life, isn't it? As brutally unforgiving all this is, it grants you peace before you go. It could just let you be consumed in fear as you die, but no.
@@zed6234
"The brain is a very strange, almost supernatural thing"
~brain
imagine living your life making memories like your first kiss, first love, best day of your life, saddest day of your life, your wedding day, your child’s birthday and all your memories disappear just like that. the worse way to go.
Pls don’t ... omg im so afraid of that
It doesn't just instantly go away, it's even worse. You try to remember but the more you try the less you do.
Document EVERYTHING. record EVERYTHING.
yunghart_og i’ve been keeping a journal i write in it every single day, i want to buy a camera and make videos to my future self
STOP I WAS ALREADY CRYING AND NOW IM FULL ON BAWLING MY EYES OUT OH MY GODDD
I listened to this whole thing😪
My dad had dementia due to cancer and died in 1998.
When I discovered this a year or so ago I felt like I needed to know where he was.... I had no idea how bad it really was. I have mental illness and this whole thing would have sent me to the hospital had I not been medicated. This is hell incarnate.
>1999
Me: "Oh that's not so long ago."
Bucket of Jake: "That's longer than I have been alive!"
Me: "W-wait... are 2000s kids adults already?"
Absolutely old man
@@ABucketofJake The realization of how fast time passes makes the impact of this video even worse. Damn.
That shit constantly scares me
@@ABucketofJake it gets so much worse, as you get older. Turning 30 is fucking horrible. Do stuff with your life now, while you have the energy to do so
'94 here and I feel fucking old already.
"the caretaker is a great musician that can perfectly represent dementia in music"
my brain: hehe his name is kirby
Poyo
lol me too
The Nintendo character of Kirby was named after one of Nintendo’s lawyers who won a court case for them,
@@endurovro Does this mean Kirby could be an Ace Attorney character?
@@stevepensando2593 " OBJECTION!!! " *proceed to swallow everything*
My grandpa died today, and he had dementia and I was recommended the video by a friend. This honestly breaks my heart so much, he lived every day in his apartment with nothing but a tv playing old tv shows, it honestly must have been terrible
I'm so sorry.
Both of my parents last month. Be good to yourself my friend.
Be strong buddy, you'll get through it.
Hi Felixandchanaraaussies. I just felt like checking back with you. This is hard, I know. I hope you are letting go of your grief and can start to focus on the bright memories you had with your grandpa.
I had an awful lot of really negative feelings about losing both my parents practically within 24 hours of each other. Tons of unresolved stuff that I will never have a chance at resolving. Man, that road only leads downhill my brother. I let it all go.
Have you ever heard the Alcohol Anonymous prayer? I used to run an AA meeting a while back. I disagree with a lot of the stuff that AA teaches but I kept the prayer close to me. It's called The Serenity Prayer. It goes something like this.
God, give the the courage to face the things that I can change, the serenity to accept the things that I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I'm an atheist but those words are a powerful mantra. Thinking of you and yours with the best wishes in my heart, this gets a little easier every day.
Peace my dude, have a beautiful day.
Wayne.
i'm really sorry for your loss. remember to take care of yourself, it's important when you go through anything tough. sending love 💕💕💕
Even the song titles alone are enough to make me feel sad. You can tell how much effort was put into this, from the songs themselves to the titles, and the artwork.
Stage 6 feels like
▓̴͉̦̘̺̬͂͆̓̍̈͗͊̔͐́̿͑̀͞ͅ▓͕͎̼͈̼̘̞̲̯̠̼ͤ͐̆ͤ̀̇͛ͭ̈͑̿͋ͧͬ̿ͥ́͟▓̃̌̂ͧͪ̍ͧͧ̋̒ͩ̈́͑̇̍͟҉̟̖̬̬̟̥͕̯̖̟̙͎̥͕̤̭̘͠▓̶̧̡͉̯͇͚̦͖͍͍̻̝͖̪̼͓̰̪ͧ̈́̒̑̑̃̍͆̓ͮ̈́̔̒͆͠▓͋͋̑̋̄̽́ͦͬͬ͑͏̷̡̰͎̹͍͍̦̯͖̮͓̣̘̤̗̰͚̀ͅ▓̴̢̨̳̯̖̪̮͔̤̙͎̰̼̳̤̙̫̭̫̙͓̉̿̋̄̊̏̉ͬ̊̄▓̸̷̢̦͇͎̖͓͙̞͈̬͖̤͖̖̬̠̜̯̥ͫ̂̔͗ͨͣ̾̿̀̚ͅ▓̛̠͇͚͈̼̣͒̽̄ͪͮ͛̅͌̎̊̏ͭ̿͋̽́͞ͅͅ▓ͫ̀̆͆̍̈́͏̞͕̫̼͍̻͕̣͇̺̟͢͞▓̷̧̤̼̤̫̞͕̗̗͐̽͂̏̒͆̅̑ͧ̆͒̆̒̓ͫͪ͡ͅ▓̷̲͕̖̫̠̯͓̞̠͇͔̃͊͌̏̓̍̏̕͞͠ͅ▓̾͆́̀͛̆ͫ̉̓ͮͮ̒͘͏͚͕͙̬̤̝̺̘̘͚̮͚̺̣̼͠▓̏ͮ͂ͫ͒ͪ̇̃͗̋ͪ̽̀͒͆̃ͤͪ̚҉͉̥̯̰͚̱̭͉̻̞̙͕̣̮̗̩͎͍́▓̸̛̙̹̗̮̜̝̪̝̝̰̼̣̫͈̿̑͌͊ͦͣͥ͒ͧ̽̆͛̃ͯ͛̾͝▓͇̜̻͎̼̰͎͕̯̲̼̩̙͉̪̭̖ͨ̌̂͛̿̑͐ͨ̏̒͟▓̐͑͊̑̅ͣ̈̈ͧͤ̔ͪ̎̾̀҉̵̜̳̙̝͉̗̮̟̲͓̳̖̟̗̯́ͅͅͅ▓̵̶̢̗̮̪̥̲͍̽̎ͫ̉͡▓̵̧͉̬̪̯̭̫̯͕̦͙̝͓̥̤̰̅̏̑ͫ̇̔ͭ͆▓̷̢̼͖̪̠̩̫̰̼͚̓̎͌̾ͅ▓̇ͧͧͤͮ̇̈͏̶͏̹̯̣͚̙͔͖̺̞͍̳͢͢▓̮̲̹̎ͬ̌ͨͧ̉ͨ̋̇͐͂̑̄̎̀ͣ͗ͩ̃͢▓̵͈͙̦͔̳̖̹̝͈̪͚̦̪̖̮̠̑͐̇ͭ̈̒́̕▓̶̩̳͍̠̠̳̼͈̤ͧ̍͛̓͋͊͒̂͛ͦ́▓̷̜͕̘͚̂͗̂ͮ͌̒ͩ̏̋ͮ̎ͩ͠▓ͤ͊́͆͆̎͝͏͏̻͚̱͉̦̼͔̰͍͓̮͈͓̩͉͇▓̧̛̫̹̟͔͓̪̘̞͙͖̯̗͎̯̫̻̝̑ͩ̄͒̅͑̽̍̃͛͂̀͜͠ͅ▓̴̡̛̼̜̼̫̖ͮ͑̍̋ͪͪ̍̈́̒̄̿ͪ̔ͯ̐̔́͞▓̧̢̛̫̯̭͍̼̗ͧ̓ͣ͆̎̈́ͥ̉͒̈̓̈́̌ͫ̌ͩ▓̶̯͇̥͈̠̝̲̇͐ͬͤ̍ͣ̀͝ͅ▓̸̣͍̬̬͍̗͕̞̰̯͚͕͇̿̓ͭ̈͡ͅ▓̬̬͙͈̱͕̌ͫ̐̒ͥ̊́̃́͡▓̗͎͓̱̘̱͉̠̠͇͇̙̼̦̉ͥ͗͌̌̅̅ͭ̏̃̿͑̈͗̾̿̀́̚▓͎̬̠̘̮̰͍̹͊̇̓ͩ͆ͦ̉̐̀▓̷̨̛̛̖͇̳͍̲̟̟̤̪̟͇̠ͮ̅̓̓͒ͯͧ̔ͣ̓͊̍̏▓̶̷̵̶̡̪̯̜͖̞̮̫͓̣̮̰̟̫̈́̂̄͌̆̚▓̴̶̻͚͍͚͈̗̱̔̌̄ͥͨ̇ͧͨ̒̈́͗̐̌̌̀͠▓̧̂ͬͬ͐̎̓́̉́͑͛̀ͪ҉͙̹̮͉̪̮͚̣͎̳̬̖͈̝͙͝͝▓̧̡̎͂ͬ́̍ͥ̆͐ͤ̂ͯ̓͛̎͊͆ͩ̍͝͏̭̟͇̗̥̮͔͇̟͎▓̸̜̩̝̜͙̰̟̞̟̣͕̱̥͍̫͉͖͂̽ͮ̓ͮ́̀▓̩̦̙̠̫̯̜͈͔̞͓̤̝̰̟̅͋̄̈̐̊͘͡▓̼͙̙͉͎̳̖͚̗ͪ̂͒ͩ͆ͩ̿ͣͤ̕͠▓̛͕̗̦̬̗͙͍̪̪̜̔̃̇̏̐̽̄̃͊ͨͫ͡▓ͩ̍͑ͨ̕͢҉̖̲̣͉̜͠ͅ▓̶̸̨̙̗̦͚͔͎͚̲̙̳̙̯͙̜̼̥̉̀̏ͯ̿͛̈̋ͫͥ̋̀ͬ͐̀̋̊͛̀͡▓̨̛͍̜̯̰̰̼̲̗̊́̒͛̃̇̓͘͢͝▓̵̭̪̩̪͈̖͙̻͔̯̞̤̳̞̞̘̦̔ͣ͋͒ͥ̽ͧ̒̾̀͋͢͠
I love this
Yeah but lønger
no that's stage 4-5
ScottSimply right this is stage six: .. . . . . . . . . . . .
@Imaru Lewis zalgo text generator
I showed this to my mom, who specializes in dementia, and now she’s showing all of her colleagues aswell. Thank you for making such a great video about this album, I would have never been able to describe it like you did.
Also, a reminder: Dementia, in concept, is scary. Yes. But it doesn’t have to be. There are countless patients living their best lives. You don’t need your memories to be happy. Of course the process will be confusing, but you can make it 10x better with the right mindset.
yall just made me realise diaries may be more important than what they seem
Thank you for commenting this. I've been checking out this video and, although I don't know if any of my parents have any propensity to dementia (and even myself), it simply scares me to forget.
My grandpa (who took care of my mom next to my grandma) ended up having Alzheimer while I was a baby, to the point that he wasn't able to go to the toilet by himself. My mom even described to me how my dad and one of her cousins had to carry my grandpa in order to change his diaper.
Once again thank you for letting us know that there is a chance to have a fulfilling life even with dementia, somehow it gives me some peace.
this. i’m a caretaker and one of my clients has dementia, and one of the things that’s missing from these is that while he has his bad moods, oftentimes he’ll just be enamored and entertained by everything in his room like he’s experiencing it for the first time. he collects toys, and he’ll constantly grab toys he was just playing with and go, “where’d this guy come from?” and start joking about it, then move onto another and move right back.
the way i approach working with dementia is that the moods and emotions are still there and still normal - the core of the person is still there, just all the details get scrambled. for instance, he’ll forget why he’s mad about something, but won’t forget THAT he’s mad, because brain chemicals don’t just disappear because you’ve forgotten why they’re there.
it’s much less nightmarish if you can just vibe and roll with the punches.
hell, my grandma suffered from it and battled hard to retain control, but towards the end there came an acceptance of it and for the first time in her life (she was always a headstrong type) she let others take control and became a lot more kind than before. it was still her, and she still struggled in some ways, but it wasn’t the same suffering she’d been enduring in the years leading up to it. like it wasn’t that she was gone, it’s that i was seeing a new side of her.
“Don’t watch this if you’re not in the best place.”
Me: I’m good then!
Me after the video: i’m not fucking good.
Same :’)
I agree so hard 😭
This brings you form your best place to your lowest.
I couldn't even listen to it past stage 4...I don't even know if I want to go back and listen to the whole thing cause I'm too scared
There's not enough of good to still come out of this good
I am convinced that Everywhere At The End Of Time is the greatest work of art in the modern era.
And also the saddest.
My favourite comment in there is how this album would sound with millennial songs. Imagine halfway through stage 4 you hear a distant "DJ KHALED" and "another one"
That would shake me to my very core
imagine u start hearing 100 gecs
That's... true. This project will only have impact for 30 years or so
@@MarigoldIsMelancholy that invite is invalid,can you fix that?
@@thewild2334 yea please
This is an absolute nightmare. Dementia is literally the scariest thing I can imagine. Slowly losing your memories, your identity, your ability to understand the world around you. Those self-portaits at the beginning really drove it home. By the final stages he looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize what he saw as a face. Imagine if your entire world was one of those unrecognizable pictures,, all day every day...Thank you for the insightful video. Stay strong everybody
And from what I heard, the the artist lived for _seven years_ after that last portrait.
@@alexsiemers7898 I hope he rests easy, he honestly looks like a nice person.
This shit like froze me with fear. I don’t have great memory as it is, I’m terrified to move forward in life with the chance of experiencing this. It’ll probably wear off tomorrow...
@@alexsiemers7898 Wait he died because of the music?? Wtf this is literally scary rn
If I started getting dementia, I'd probably kill myself early so I don't forget to later.
Imagine this scenario:
You’re a dementia patient, in the late stages. Memories have fully faded away, except a few. And the most prominent and clear memory that you can still hold onto; Everywhere At The End Of Time, by The Caretaker.
meta
That would be infuriating for me.
This album is beautiful and the project means so much, but I despise it with a passion. Knowing about this album has been hell for me since I’m very existential and I’m surrounded by older relatives in concerning stages of their health, and it would be humiliating at the end of my life to be locked in my head with the musical manifestation of what’s slowly killing me playing endlessly. In a way, I feel like this album isn’t worthy of being remembered at the end of my life. Not over the memories of my loved ones or major experiences that I haven’t had yet in the future.
Hopefully I make sense. I respect this album, but it infuriates me.
@@Cheaty_Four You make perfect sense. The seemingly random chance that your brain could remember this, the audial manifestation of the very thing rotting it from the inside out infuriates you. IMO being angry about that is a good thing.
This also makes sense because songs are the most remembered apparently
Idk how to word it
bruh
I literally started crying-
Like 2-4 years ago i lost my grandfather and he had really bad dementia, and at that time i didn't know what it was like or how hard it was to go through that, my grandfather had even forgotten my name. After watching this it was like everything had been explained and i kinda got to understand what it was like for him, i now wish i could have said goodbye to him because i never got to as he was in a nursing home pretty far away from where we lived (and to add a bit more unluck to that we were gonna go to see him next week). To anyone who is having someone else or themselves go through this i am truly sorry that you have to go through that and/or see that happen.
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned this yet, but it looks like the painting at 8:41 is actually a reference to Girl with a Pearl Earring, which I think makes it ten times creepier because it’s like the person is trying to piece together this art but can’t.
THIS thank you
thank you so much, i was thinking the same thing and i thought i was the only one ahhahah
I can see the girl but I can’t really see the Pearl earring
I knew I saw something familiar within it!! Very clearly a woman with walking stick romping up some stairs
I'm not the only one who though it was :0
You know you’re old when the UA-camr says that he was born after 1999.
I was born on 1999, and I already feel old
Oh my god yes!! I'm 21 so I'm super young but when he said "the caretaker goes back DECADES, he started in 1999! 1999.." I was like wait-what's so impressive about that? That wasn't so long ago... And then Holy shit he's younger than me what! I'm not used to this happening!!
same, time to have a life crisis in the comments of something that is a life crisis on top of a life crisis on top of a life crisis pretty much
@@lounajushpe4906 lol, same at 1999. Everyone's becoming younger than me at this point 💀
Born 1976 🙄😁
Phase 4 album cover looks like an abstracted “Girl with the pearl earring”
Her headdress somehow reminds me of the book from Phase 1, as if it were some kind of call-back, but I can't fully square that theory in a way that makes sense, which very well may be exactly the point.
I always thought this, glad to see someone else saying it
you're right, i couldn't place what it was about the cover
Symbolizing how you can't recognize faces but they seem familiar
to me it looks like some woman made of blue painted over rocks n shit
this is crazy. My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimers/dementia, and I remember that he was denying it somewhere early in it. Stage two in the description states that they deny that something is wrong. This makes me so emotional because the album is not only sad, but extremally relatable.
I worked in a dementia ward.
Imagine forgetting how to swollow, or forgetting how to walk and forgetting who you are or where you are. Every single day.
It's strange though, what I found was that the patients would get a moment of clarity when they first wake up. One patient I remember sitting with and she turns to me 'I don't remember what I ate yesterday,' and i laughed and said 'yeah neither do I'. She didn't laugh.
'I don't remember what I ate for breakfast, I don't remember what I ate for lunch. I don't remember if I've ever eaten before.'
She turns to me and cries 'I don't even know if I'm alive, what kind of torture is this. I've died but I'm still alive'. After a holding her for a while she goes back to sleep and wakes up like it never happened.
damn thats horrible
sounds like a fever dream with no end, just a dark tunnel that goes endless
That just hurts.
fffffuck that
No thanks I’d eat a bullet
That got sad quick
8:53 tbh I see a woman standing on a staircase wearing a very poofy, victorian esque dress and tipping her giant, equally poofy hat and holding a cane
SAME
Me too, I freaked out as I believed it was just me who saw that.
Same here
Wow, same. I wonder what this says about us
@@zenkha5010 we like girls XD
Gen z would be in stage 4 and hear “this is a certified hood classic”
Phase 1 is just slightly distorted sicko mode
Stage 5 be like “sbbsgs certified ejejejejeje classics hood bshwnenne”
no
Stage 2 & 3 would be earl sweatshirt
@@Emeraldpunch Wrong, sicko mode is already phase 1 as it is
thank you for taking the time to put this together. it was very helpful to me and after watching, i immediately began listening to EatEoT 1-6. i really appreciate getting the "primer" first, so thanks again.
"Don't watch this if you're not in the best place mentally."
Buddy, None of us will be in the best place mentally
...Like ever
Welcome to the United States of America, where mental health is just “in your head” and “here, take these drugs that make you a zombie, but don’t actually treat the root of the problem”.
?
@@progenitor_amborella Can confirm, live in America, had anxiety problems for about 4-5 months, told me to either get over it or take medication. I “got over it”(no i didn’t).
@@progenitor_amborella as someone who has to take concerta to even be somewhat focused, i can confirm.
We can, we all have the capability to.
“man forgets he has dementia and remembers everything”
big brain
fax
*good ending: unlocked*
Then dies shortly after. (terminal lucidity)
y’all this is actually a medical condition
Newcomer here, honestly love your explanation and bits of humor that calm the absolutely depressing parts of the album.
I can handle blood, guts, bugs, snakes and tigers, serial killers and such but this broke me down. The bits of life that are all too common that most don’t want to talk about is seriously some dark stuff. Prayers to all and please take care of yourself!
So it's like "I have no mouth but I must scream", only inside your head.
Yep, terrified. Thanks.
So, every nightmare ever?
but you cant wake up. Infact you aren't even aware of it being a nightmare or a dream or if you are sleeping at all. Everyhting just mash together into an existential illusion that you can't make heads and tails of.
As you spiral ever further into the uncaring and cold grip of a living void, the process of the constant stream of motion that is you ceasing leaving behind an empty husk that grips at whatever leftover ashes of you.
A feeling of constantly falling not knowing of up and down in ever lasting darkness.
Crazy book
there’s a channel called a charming abode where a women is documenting her husbands experience with Lewy body dementia
I believe he’s in his 40s and got dementia from an accident at his work in the military .
You can see him go a bit more and more every video, and you can tell the wife is slowly loosing her positivity . It’s a horrific watch
N i g h t m a r e f u e l
My grandma spent her last few years with Alzheimer's. At first, she would forget I was a male (I had long hair and my voice was even squeakier than it is now). She remembered I was her grandchild, however. Later on, I recall she would occasionally refer to me as "[My dad's] son" or something like niece or nephew rather than a grandchild. I don't remember (ironic, huh) what she was like between the "forgot-I-was-grandchild" phase and the phase she was completely incoherent, but by the time she was incoherent, I knew she had forgotten everything about me except that we were family. I remember, though, from my first memory with her to my last, she was always delighted to see me, my brother, and my dad. I don't know if she was just a happy person right to the grave or if she was only happy because she was with her family, but I hope it's the former.
RIP Grammy, thanks for remembering me even if you had to try your damnest
Im so sorry for your loss my friend
@@jamespolches6794 no worries bro, it was a few years ago
@@theinternetpolice2078 I'm scared to grow old I might kill myself before I get it.
@@voltaireentertainment If I were to start to get signs of it I might just do crazy shit like skydiving and then off myself in a really fucking fun and cool way. If I'm not enough in my mind to do any of that I would like my loved ones to pull the plug. Even if there was a miracle cure the next day, I wouldn't wanna sit around waiting while slowly losing reality.
@@theinternetpolice2078 yeah man. I lost my Grandma to COVID and she had Alzheimer’s. She ran away from home one day and ended up sleeping in a car a couple houses down the road. We had to put her in a nursing home to stay. Since COVID started to outbreak, the Nursing home cases were increasing. A lot of my favorite elderly people in the nursing home died. Then, my Grandma ended up in the hospital and we went to visit her in the hospital bed. She was put on a ventilator too. Possibly a couple days later, she passed away. We went to a funeral with my mother, aunt, uncle, cousins, and many other family members. I’m alright now. I’ve gotten over it but it’s still devastating.
I feel like the last track of stage 6 should just be titled “------“
or "den jde ngi dergin s re jd gs why f nwk efk m am ij i hns still jm k here ced jf k? who j nket rn bhdighs mr n am g bdg smg m I gnhdgn?"
@@enzo3217 same
@@enzo3217 relatable
I think maybe “forgotten” or something, but I think the blanks could work, maybe “finale”? Idk
Or just a period
The best piece about phase one is the Lyrics of the song used. "Heartaches" by Al Bowly. It really portrays memories going away, and memories being forgotten. Here's a sample of the lyrics:
"Heartaches, heartaches
My loving you meant only heartaches
Your kiss was such a sacred thing to me
I can't believe it's just a burning memory"
Its just a burning memory? Holy shit the creator of everything at the end of time is fucking genius
I'm a music therapist who has worked for years with people with dementia, and I absolutely love this album because i feel it helped deepen my empathy and understanding towards my clients. on a personal level, i find it incredibly difficult to sit through as my family has a history of dementia. it brings up the fear that i could one day be diagnosed also (though it's not likely). to me, losing the memories of one's own life is worse than death itself. i love that you mentioned that music is one of the last memories people can connect with, as it justifies the importance of music to not only be a form of entertainment but a vital source of connection to the world and memories they hold.
I was unaware that The Caretaker actually composed all the music for the project, I thought he had raided his family's vinyl collection or something and had just thrown a filter on each track >.< i have even more respect for the work now.
your video was an incredible overview, thank you for sharing it!
I share that same sentiment "losing the memories of one's own life is worse than death itself" reminds me a bit of what Bladerunner has taught me personally with the whole "tears in the rain" message.
Mister Fox I thought the same exact thing.
@@misterfox6094 I haven't seen bladerunner so I'll take your word for it! hope you are out there cherishing every moment!
here's one of the most prominent samples from the first few stages - Al Bowlly's 'Heartaches' - ua-cam.com/video/D4cJfCmNiwQ/v-deo.html He didn't compose it all, per se, but I don't think that diminishes the project one bit :)
He didn’t compose all of it, many of the compositions (especially on the first stage) are looped samples of old jazz records, which have been altered with crackle, etc. I recommend checking out WhoSampled.com, as a lot of the originals have been found on there. But yeah, all of the compositional changes are his own doing, but they do draw from source material
This is a bad rabbithole for a depressed person
Eh. It's just another entrypoint into the Backrooms.
@Joanna Stur big brain time
@Joanna Stur facts im out, thanks to OP
@Joanna Stur wait... you came from mark videos too? was it possibly presentable liberty?
i wish i had taken that advice sooner
My grammy had Alzheimers
She was an amazing person. Sometimes it felt like she was living halfway in our world and half in another world. It's painful because you miss someone while they're still there. She was happy, at least. We spoiled the heck out of that lady. She earned it. I miss her
Same thing happened to my great grandma. She passed away last summer :/
I hope all of you are good ♥
My grandma is starting to fell the symptoms of alzheimers in this year.
Mine's going through the exact same thing currently. I never see her anymore because she doesn't know who I am anymore. It hurts really, really bad. I love her.
Haha iggy
as someone who is a newly hired care partner [in training at this time lol] at a nursing home in the assisted living part, this album is an eye-opener and a great way to truly understand into the lives of dementia residents through a musical perspective. the way their minds gradually deteriorate over time is heartbreaking, especially if you have worked with a resident whose dementia has progressively got worse as you took care of them during a long period of time. i recommended looking up teepa snow, a dementia expert and advocate who has been bringing to light the issues behind this disease for years. she has developed positive ways to approach care for dementia patients. remember, with each dementia patient, their rate of progression will always differ from case to case. stay cool ya'll :)
dementia runs through my family and i’m scared to get it
SAME
It runs as a brutal pattern in my dad's side, and unfortunately, my dad has been put into the red zone. I makes me wonder that if his existential, deeply terrified fear of him knowing he may forget everything, forget his life, forget his wrongdoings and forget his amendments to those wrongdoings, he was trying his absolute best to try to turn his life with my family around in a good way.
Eat healthy and exercise. Keep your body and mind health.
There’s a lot of different things to help your brain at least stay healthier for longer, it won’t stop dementia from appearing but it will at least prolong whatever bit of well, you, you have left. Try filling your brain with more information than ever before, try learning an instrument, or a new language, hell just watch educational videos in general to just fill up your brain. The more you know and the longer you know it the harder it is for you to forget. Hopefully you won’t have to rely on any of things I said and just live a normal dementia free life, stay strong man.
Oh god I found out it’s in my family line I’m so dead
"when the music goes, so do they"
That hit me hard. I spent years living with my pa as he fell into dementia. The more it progressed, the more he started tapping his fingers in the same beat. When he was finally too long gone for us to cope living with him, and he no longer argued about going into aged care, we put him into it. I never thought about this until I saw this video, but he had completely stopped tapping. He was just this husk of what he used to be. I can't imagine how hard that was for my mum, she worked as a nurse in that aged care facility. Having your own father as a patient, knowing he knew absolutely nothing about you every time you walked in would be absolutely tragic.
I sang to my grandfather a week before he died of dementia. He was unresponsive when I walked in, As I sat there, nothing. I sang and he turned to me with his sunken face, grabbed my hand, and said my name (well deadname, I transitioned after he was already mentally checked out.) I should’ve felt relieved he remembered me, should’ve felt hopeful that he’d make a comeback. But I didn’t. His death grip on my hand and measly whimpers scared me so bad I stopped singing. I could hardly breathe as he started to freak out. I left as quickly as I could. I loved my grandpa but once the mind is ravished by dementia...there is absolutely nothing left but a husk of who I once knew.
I euthanized my dog the other day. It is a blessing they can go like that. He was comfortable and happy.
It is cruel to put an elderly man with dimensia in a home, but unless you want to go to jail for murder what choice do you have
@@anitabonghit2758 I agree. I wish my grandpa had died years earlier than he did. What a bleak existence
If I get dementia I fear that this album will be the last thing I remember
Damn.
Once you reach stage seven, you only have six minutes and thirty minutes till ye die
@@josephtaylor1752 36 minutes?
You just horrified me with one sentence holy-
@@minecrash101 I think he meant second
My grandma was diagnosed with dementia around 4 years ago... its depressing seeing an once joyfull and intelligent lady slowly fade into someone who barely gets out of bed.. and barely remembers anything. Now what scares me more is what she felt during all this journey.. despite how we viewed her.. this album is indeed genius.. it put me into so much thinking
This is probably the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced in audio format. And you know what's worse? It's real.
I've been thinking a lot about what the scariest music could be. Stage 3 and onwards was almost exactly what I imagined, but I couldn't describe it before I actually listened to it
@@restfulflames9855 I had to take many breaks every stage after stage 2, it wad hard for me to listen to, scary
I never thought music could be scary, but... wow.
Mr Brightside feeling pretty Mr Darkside right about now
Stage five sounds/feels very familiar to me
"1999!? He's been doing this for longer than I've been alive." There it is, the beginning of feeling old
Nicholas Teixeira it only gets worse
Like holy shit I'm only 20 dude it's waaayyy too early for this
I’m older than him!!! And I’m only 20!!!! Like holy shit
And here I am from ‘85
Indeed I was only born in 97 but the way he said that was alarming xD
I had an old online friend who I stopped talking to a few years ago and I finally decided to send a message asking how they're doing, wondering if they'd pick up. A few months later I got a text back saying that they're suffering from Frontotemporal dementia, and that they had forgotten who I was or what we used to talk about. We played so many online games, listened to the same music, and we had so many late night talks. It hurts, bros.
that is truly unfortunate. My Grandma currently has severe dementia and seeing her decline in health in the room next to me is hard to watch. It wasn't until I saw this video that I truly empathize with the fear she must be feeling while everything around her becomes unfamiliar even if its the faces she's lived with for years. My grandma on my moms side has severe brain atrophy and seeing this decline in health I can't imagine anything worse especially wince she lives 3 time zones away by herself. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I hope times get better
@@mktaters310 Thank you for telling me this, it must be hard.
Draquila Casket Wait... you were friends with a grandpa or grandma gamer or...? Sorry I’m confused.
@@yoda5280 Nope. It's not just the elderly who can get dementia.
@@draquilacasket1719 That's terrifying. Maybe the person can look through past messages between you two? Idk, this whole video and comment section is just so sad.
Imagine making this and having to listen over and over through the hours of these disturbing audios just to make sure they really capture what they are meant to.
Imagine gen z kids in the future having dementia and humming WAP before their last breath bruh
bruh
bruh
moment
bruh
moment
7:14 The scariest part is how he didn’t die soon after his last portrait in 2000, he lived like that until 2007. He got to the point where he didn’t recognize his own face and lived for SEVEN more years.
Benim
yeah...
I work in an elderly peoples house specised in dementia, over a hundred residents with dementia are living there. We have some people living in the sixth stage for years now. Some of them lying in bed all day and I am pretty sure that they forget the existence of their own body. Sometimes when I give them their puree they forget that they have to swallow it to eat and I have to remember them. But if it helps, many people die already in phase 5 and some other go from 4 to 6 within a year before they die. I often get a feeling that they decide themselves when it's time to go, like it makes click and from one day to another, they get sicker and sicker and within one or two weeks they are gone, no matter how active they were before this last process.
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@@Camothor10 ?
the first song of the first stage "it's just a burning memory" is sampled from the 1930's song Heartaches by Al Bowlly, with "it's just a burning memory" being a lyric that shows up once, this could indicate that someone remembers the song, but can only remember some lyrics and the rhythm but not the title
Ohhh interesting
Unrelated but Al Bowlly’s cover of “The Very Thought of You” is pretty good
there’s also C3 ( I think? ) - What does it matter how my heart breaks
basically another variation of heartaches.
AND there another song in Stage 3 named “ And Heart Breaks “ with its elements basically falling apart.
This has been on my watch later for two years and i regret not watching it sooner, great video!