My father nor my mother touched me when I was a kid, sometimes they gave me a little hug but it was extremely rare, when I started dating I finally understood what being touched means and how you feel protected and safe when someone you love hugs you
I never thought I was touched starved until my boyfriend hugged me once. Now, when we cuddle (and we cuddle a lot now), I make him lay on top of me. Like a puppy pile. It's so nice.
Dear Kitebuggy, sorry to hear that. I would suggest to find a nearest Biodanza class. It is a human development system that works a lot with contact and caress. You could find love, tenderness and affection there again. I can strongly recommend. It is very gentle, progressive and loving environement.
If you’re still out there , I’m down to risk you being a serial killer for the possible reward of being the difference between your depression and a new outlook on life
When your hardly touched you don't notice it instantly, but once you had a long nice cuddle you realize that you've been longing for touch all your live.
I'm surprised too. It's such a big problem in the US. The human brain is like a computer in some ways. It needs input. When computers idle, nothing happens. When humans idle, they literally start to decay.
I'm paying attention now. I wasn't aware about this kind of thing until my depression got really bad. I try to spend some time here and there to learn about the human brain and share what I learn when the opportunity arises.
Excellent. Great to have a non-conventional person with conventional credentials like this talking about touch and feeling. If you read (listen) between the lines, this profound stuff.
4:56 this whole example about sports teams seems like a correlation/causation mixup; maybe touch plays a role in teamwork; maybe they are both equally caused by a third factor. Citation needed.
Good morning I have enjoyed watching these videos but the most touching was those that over turned and far giving the person they wrongful accused very touching.
Very interesting about the posterior insula disconnecting you from the anger a hammer strike would cause you. I've taken many dissociatives and it lets me experience life without being connected to things. Its like things simply happen and i acknowledge what it is and just deal accordingly. I like to think this is a good thing tho being able to disconnect from emotion
I'm a massage therapist in the UK - a lot of people find a massage tremendously comforting and reassuring. It is a small comfort measure within the larger context of life, I know, but it improves life, engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. I used to be a nurse and working in end of life care, touch was important (although one had to be careful in judging each situation). As a patient, the nurse or midwife holding my hand was always remembered with gratitude.
I fuckin hate my cat because he always tries to rub on me like just fuckin chill. Some people need touch others understand they are simply ok as they are
True, without touch I just felt socially insecure and akward that's why I avoided it (fear to hit s.o. with my chin xD etc.). But not being cuddled or touched at all left me unhappy and void inside so that's like a down spiral. Once I knew the feeling and shelter of a nice gentle cuddle I realized I was longing for it all the time.
Knew something is wrong with my senses. 😞 being send off and neglected since infancy has cause damage to my cerebellum ey. Lasting effects such as being unable to touch my partner and etc... sigh..
A random ponder. If you've never had something can you miss/crave it? Someone who doesn't hug or even shake hands... would they only crave such things if they suddenly/randomly experience it?
I hate touch because it’s a false sense of security. It costs nothing to give and it gives nothing. The stranger who hugs me at Church, won’t be at the hospital when I’m dying. The bank employee who touched my back, won’t change my tire when I get stranded on the side of the road with a flat. The old woman who touched my arm at jury duty, won’t pay my rent if I can’t come up with the money that month. False hope is the ultimate cruelty.
I don't think that old woman who touched your arm promised to pay your rent by touching your arm. It's a desire to share a connection with someone and can be stress relieving in the moment.
No it cost willingness to do an to some extent also consent. It gives nothing, if you talk about material of course it doesn't, but that doesn't mean it's worthless. Touch is used to translate love or affection into action. Which we need to keep functioning properly. Please don't compare touch to material things, both are not to be compared to each other. Beside if you have material things at the cost of love. Then it is useless
Why didn't that stranger who shook my hand give me a car afterwards? Touch is so useless! What kinda flawed logic is that? No one owes you anything. If you expect every person who shows good will to give you something then the problem's on you not them.
Joey JoJo, people can still live without touch, but it affects them mentally and physically. I’m sure it’s affected you if you deeply dug into your unconscious mind to see the effects.
My father nor my mother touched me when I was a kid, sometimes they gave me a little hug but it was extremely rare, when I started dating I finally understood what being touched means and how you feel protected and safe when someone you love hugs you
Same
Lucky you! Touch has a healing property. I yearn for it everyday. I never had parents and developed a habit of shaking my right leg to fall asleep.
So glad I'm a teacher in Brazil where hugging students is pretty every day activity.
So glad I have friends in Brazil who hug me every time I am down :)
In greece as well...same thing..feel so lucky i am a teacher and can do this without being misunderstood
In greece as well...i feel so lucky for being a teacher and hugging my students without being misinderstood
Parabéns mano, mas isso não faz diferença aqui no Brasil, é tão normal que ninguém tá nem ai.
@@spiroulina5034 parabéns
I never thought I was touched starved until my boyfriend hugged me once.
Now, when we cuddle (and we cuddle a lot now), I make him lay on top of me. Like a puppy pile. It's so nice.
Aww that's nice
Cute
Just read he has cancer. I pray 🙏 he stays strong in his ordeal. Great Tedtalks!
'there is no sensation without emotion' love this
What about the opposite? Can there be emotion without sensation? Or there no emotion without sensation
The opposite is also true. All emotions are anchored in the body.
The last time i have experienced a heartfelt hug or a tender touch was 33 years ago.
Decades of loneliness and depression slowly kill you inside.
Dear Kitebuggy, sorry to hear that. I would suggest to find a nearest Biodanza class. It is a human development system that works a lot with contact and caress. You could find love, tenderness and affection there again. I can strongly recommend. It is very gentle, progressive and loving environement.
I’m hugging you through the distance, fellow-ted talk viewer!
I hear you
your comment hit hard.
I really hope you are doing better😢😟
If you’re still out there , I’m down to risk you being a serial killer for the possible reward of being the difference between your depression and a new outlook on life
He is right., I havent been touched or hugged by an other human in years and lost empathy for humans in those years.
When your hardly touched you don't notice it instantly, but once you had a long nice cuddle you realize that you've been longing for touch all your live.
Great talk by a person who is obviously very passionate about his field of expertise. I'm surprised that it doesn't have a lot more views!
I'm surprised too. It's such a big problem in the US.
The human brain is like a computer in some ways. It needs input. When computers idle, nothing happens. When humans idle, they literally start to decay.
Give Heart To Heart hugs. They are more warm, more friendlier and more intimate.
I now understand the purpose of the professional cuddlers
So informative. Can't believe this talk was 3 years ago, and look at us now! Has anyone really paid attention out there?
I'm paying attention now. I wasn't aware about this kind of thing until my depression got really bad. I try to spend some time here and there to learn about the human brain and share what I learn when the opportunity arises.
This can actually be a form of neglect/abuse in a marriage… As you know it can greatly impact one’s mental health.
July 2020, this science is very important to understanding the real repercussions of COVID-19
Who else watching this during quarantine
A gifted presenter with an important message. Thank you for sharing.
Excellent. Great to have a non-conventional person with conventional credentials like this talking about touch and feeling. If you read (listen) between the lines, this profound stuff.
Covid 19 has literary taken ALL safe touching away from humanity 😭😭
wow. this guy is fantastic. this is informative and fascinating. and funny.
"Touch, I remember touch
Pictures came with touch
A painter in my mind
Tell me what you see"
A very good and valuable talk. I say it as a psychologist.
Pity there are so few likes. That was absolutely legit, important and truthful information.
never been touched. forever alone
Wonderful talk, thank you.
4:56 this whole example about sports teams seems like a correlation/causation mixup; maybe touch plays a role in teamwork; maybe they are both equally caused by a third factor. Citation needed.
Good morning I have enjoyed watching these videos but the most touching was those that over turned and far giving the person they wrongful accused very touching.
Thanks David, great talk !
Person: what's so funny, why are you laughing so hard?
Me: l just tickled myself 😂
I think I'm touch deprived.
There are people who still hug me....but I really, really, really, miss my mom.
I miss hugging my mother.
Magnificent!
So true
Very interesting about the posterior insula disconnecting you from the anger a hammer strike would cause you. I've taken many dissociatives and it lets me experience life without being connected to things. Its like things simply happen and i acknowledge what it is and just deal accordingly. I like to think this is a good thing tho being able to disconnect from emotion
the light on his head looks like a smiley face hehe i wanna touch it
🤣
So....what if you don't like hugs....literally?
My wife is Aspie and hates touch in any way, I crave touch and intimacy but get nothing, I am rejected in mind and spirit and it hurts so much.
Divorce...
I'm a massage therapist in the UK - a lot of people find a massage tremendously comforting and reassuring. It is a small comfort measure within the larger context of life, I know, but it improves life, engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. I used to be a nurse and working in end of life care, touch was important (although one had to be careful in judging each situation). As a patient, the nurse or midwife holding my hand was always remembered with gratitude.
Never hug? I like hugs
Notice how having cats and spending time with cats in those pop up coffee shops has soared.
Cats understand! lol
I fuckin hate my cat because he always tries to rub on me like just fuckin chill. Some people need touch others understand they are simply ok as they are
@@turtledandy2123 Dude, your cat is saying it loves youuuuu!!! let your cat love you!!
@@turtledandy2123 you seem rude to your cat bro....chill😂
Spinoza!
Why if your brain rejects the sensation from tickling yourself does it not also reject the sensation from you pleasuring yourself?
Frank Mccune interesting question
You can tickle yourself, just on the bottom of the feet and the palms.
How many watched a second time just to make sure you got the science down ???😂
Beautiful shirt.
Although I have probably received enough when I was a kid, I still need embraces desperately.
Brilliant
For me, I just hated cuddles.
That was until I got cuddled
True, without touch I just felt socially insecure and akward that's why I avoided it (fear to hit s.o. with my chin xD etc.). But not being cuddled or touched at all left me unhappy and void inside so that's like a down spiral.
Once I knew the feeling and shelter of a nice gentle cuddle I realized I was longing for it all the time.
Are teams performing better in the first half & therefore engaging in more celebratory jestures in the first half?
Don't like most the humour or swearing but its a fascinating topic.
I m researching a possible theme for mye masters. I'm thinking that might be helpful
Knew something is wrong with my senses. 😞 being send off and neglected since infancy has cause damage to my cerebellum ey. Lasting effects such as being unable to touch my partner and etc... sigh..
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Is anyone else I'm comfortable with him calling your fingertip well endowed?
You must be in Middle School. Watch this again in 10 years when it'll be more meaningful to you.
A random ponder. If you've never had something can you miss/crave it? Someone who doesn't hug or even shake hands... would they only crave such things if they suddenly/randomly experience it?
We even have touch screens now. Al those fingerprints!
I need MUCH more detail on this subject lol
Touch is a" Verb"
Touch has been eliminated because of the faults of men not women
I never realized how touch deprived I was until my friends girlfriend told me to come lay with them for a few
Huh
So my cerebellum is damaged??? Lol
I wonder how there are "thriving" people who abhor touch, such as a percentage of those who are autism spectrum.
try haptonomie
lapland123 what’s that?
M
I literally broke up with my ex because I hated his physical touch😃
The video is about the development of babies and touch perception in humans, not about your relationship problems.
poor kids
Hilarious
"But only if the intervention came before age two…"That is not true David Linden. Love your speech but that is not scientifically correct.
How is it not correct?
I hate touch because it’s a false sense of security. It costs nothing to give and it gives nothing. The stranger who hugs me at Church, won’t be at the hospital when I’m dying. The bank employee who touched my back, won’t change my tire when I get stranded on the side of the road with a flat. The old woman who touched my arm at jury duty, won’t pay my rent if I can’t come up with the money that month. False hope is the ultimate cruelty.
I don't think that old woman who touched your arm promised to pay your rent by touching your arm.
It's a desire to share a connection with someone and can be stress relieving in the moment.
No it cost willingness to do an to some extent also consent. It gives nothing, if you talk about material of course it doesn't, but that doesn't mean it's worthless. Touch is used to translate love or affection into action. Which we need to keep functioning properly. Please don't compare touch to material things, both are not to be compared to each other. Beside if you have material things at the cost of love. Then it is useless
ivan abed I’d rather have material things, than touch. Materials things take care of my wants and needs. Strangers don’t give me anything.
Clearly you value acts of service as one of your love languages 😊
Why didn't that stranger who shook my hand give me a car afterwards? Touch is so useless! What kinda flawed logic is that? No one owes you anything. If you expect every person who shows good will to give you something then the problem's on you not them.
🐋
I went over ten years without touch. This video is nonsense
Idk, maybe you should rethink it. I mean, look at your profile picture. If that's what you relate to, how happy can you have been without touch?
Joey JoJo, people can still live without touch, but it affects them mentally and physically. I’m sure it’s affected you if you deeply dug into your unconscious mind to see the effects.