Get Unstuck: Lessons from my Infertility Journey! | Pradeepa Narayanaswamy | TEDxShivNadarUniversity

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  • Опубліковано 24 чер 2024
  • She came, she saw and she conquered the audience leaving everyone teary-eyed and speechless after her TEDx talk. In India, couples are expected to start their family immediately after marriage and in most cases, they are eager to do so. Infertility isn’t a thought that passes through most minds at this point. But it is a problem that can be tackled and overcome but there a few who still struggle under the emotional weight of this taboo. Pradeepa Narayanaswamy went through several cycles of IVF and IUI which all failed but today she is the happy mother of Karthik and a confident woman speaking out about her journey to happiness. She stressed the importance of handling your emotions and how to face them as they come including moments from her journey as well. Watch to learn how you can come to terms with the emotions you experience daily and how to respond to them. As an Enterprise Agile Coach, Pradeepa Narayanaswamy is a self-proclaimed “Agile Passionista” who strongly believes in agile values and principles. In her role, Pradeepa coaches and mentors organizations to help them succeed in delighting customers.
    She speaks in various national & international conferences.
    As a Fertility Coach, her specialty is helping men, women, and couples to make their infertility journeys suck less! Having gone through the painful journey herself, she specializes in providing people with a self-care plan to support them in taking control of their fertility journey. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 137

  • @Star-vg7ix
    @Star-vg7ix 2 роки тому +69

    People need to realize that the 'do you have any children' question is a VERY personal question

    • @nicotinedealer7653
      @nicotinedealer7653 Рік тому +2

      My mom made it a rule in my house to never ask that question to guests/housemaids.

    • @ammuluteluguammayi9017
      @ammuluteluguammayi9017 Рік тому +1

      It's a common question.....u can adopt someone..... because the sweetness u will get from having kids is really unimaginable......don't care about others.....it's for ur happiness.....we need not have our own blood

    • @SkiraReed
      @SkiraReed Рік тому

      It's funny. Some people feel offended by that question and I feel sad that I don't even get asked. Especially not by my family. To me it feels like they don't even take it as a possibility I might want to have a family, in their eyes I must still be a little child and not in my 30s. I don't even know who to talk to about my fear of never being able to conceive. I'm eating it up and at work (tourist spot) I see pregnant women and families every day and they don't even know how lucky they are.

  • @gabriellef6695
    @gabriellef6695 3 роки тому +105

    I’ve been struggling for a few years now with this. I can relate to everything you said. You don’t know how much I needed to hear this. I wish no woman had to go through this.

    • @davidhagersten8447
      @davidhagersten8447 3 роки тому +4

      Thank you for sharing about your struggle and how tough it is!
      I want to add that too much vitamin A (hypervitaminosis A) can be a cause of infertility.
      Dr. Garrett Smith has an 1 hour video about it on his UA-cam channel "Nutrition Detective".
      The Canadian engineer Grant Genereux has also written three free e-books about vitamin A toxicity that are available on his blog.
      My best wishes to you and your ongoing struggles!

    • @parisa5014
      @parisa5014 2 роки тому +2

      Same. 4 years now, all losses, including my daughter at 16 weeks. I am praying for us and all women experiencing this heartache!

    • @shikhaawasthi5333
      @shikhaawasthi5333 2 роки тому +3

      I am struggling from years. No luck. I understand the pain.

    • @togekissbliss
      @togekissbliss Рік тому

      Not every woman has to be a mother.

    • @SkiraReed
      @SkiraReed Рік тому +1

      ​@togekiss bliss You're right, not everyone HAS to be a mother but maybe one WANTS to be a mother. There are as many bad parents on this earth as there are good ones. It only hurts even more when you see people advocating abortion or women saying they are going to kill their child when there are so many women who would love to have the chance of being a mother. Life is strange.

  • @TheKaraqi4
    @TheKaraqi4 2 роки тому +13

    I know many people suffer and dream of experiencing the magic of growing a piece of themselves and cherishing it but parents who accept adopted children as their own are the parents on the next level. It’s so beautiful!

  • @jamilapunjani278
    @jamilapunjani278 Рік тому +10

    Beautiful story. Everything happens for a reason. You and Kartik were meant to be Mother and Son. ❤

  • @piyalibanerjee9563
    @piyalibanerjee9563 Рік тому +13

    We are struggling to conceive for the last 5yrs. We've tried every fertility treatments even left my jobbt resulted in 3 failed IVF cycles. I have lost all hopes and stopped socialising bcoz of blunt comments. This talk is really encouraging... ❤️ Could relate

  • @blairadventure7460
    @blairadventure7460 3 роки тому +46

    Thank you for sharing I cried at this . I feel pain whenever I think about the fact we are struggling , not only struggling but it is very dangerous for me to carry a baby due to my blood clotting disorder . My best friend is pregnant and is moaning about feeling sick and I don’t bother talking to her anymore cause I feel I can’t express how I feel as I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want to hurt myself either . It’s a horrible place to be in

  • @adu598
    @adu598 2 роки тому +20

    Nine years. In this situation... I can relate ur every words with my life
    So courageous coz
    No one reay to explain this pain to society... Every time trying to mask our face with terrible smile

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      I was having problem in getting pregnant until I met Dr Steve who helped me with his Wonderful herbs and I was able to get pregnant. I'm having a twins now all thanks to him. He can help you too.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      W-hatsap him⏬

  • @khaninderdeka4865
    @khaninderdeka4865 5 місяців тому +2

    Yes, society needs to educate itself

  • @mayjune5327
    @mayjune5327 3 роки тому +12

    Wow!!! This was powerful!!! The end made me cry 😢

  • @meetaalmoula7363
    @meetaalmoula7363 3 роки тому +34

    Amazing! You had me crying at the end! So happy for you and to new beginnings 💕

  • @neetugupta6532
    @neetugupta6532 3 роки тому +18

    Loved your story. Wish you all the best with your son Kartik! May God bring all the happiness in your and your families life.

  • @shalonfreeman9068
    @shalonfreeman9068 Рік тому +6

    At this point I give up. Its in God's hands. In the mean time I will continue to live my best life. There are perks to being kid-free.

    • @feitheexpat
      @feitheexpat Місяць тому

      I so want to start this mindset...but it feels so lonely...even our partners cannot always understand and the frequency of anxiety and panick attacks are just too extreme...

  • @adrianalopez464
    @adrianalopez464 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you for your words! You are such an inspiration. I’m so happy for you and so sad for myself but I know one day I’ll have a miracle just like you did.

  • @khushbukamble7137
    @khushbukamble7137 3 роки тому +11

    Currently I'm also going through same situation one of my best and closest friend she have good news.
    And today on the occasion of woman's day our funding group going to meet .
    Same feeling going inside me .
    I'm happy for her but at a same time little up and down thinking going inside me .
    Adoption is always a best thing .
    I have made up my mind by last year.
    But in my case my husband he is not ready.
    I really feeling accept the situation is always a big Win win thing.
    Happy for u also.
    Happy parenthood for both of u ❤️

    • @drsarahalvi
      @drsarahalvi Рік тому

      If you want to talk about it....I am a trained counselor specialized in health and relationship....Dr Sarah Alvi

  • @user-du7mf6ce2s
    @user-du7mf6ce2s 3 роки тому +20

    Very moving and beautifully explained, Pradeepa👍it takes a lot of courage to share it with the world to help a broader society 👏👏

  • @BalbirSingh-eh1dq
    @BalbirSingh-eh1dq 2 роки тому +4

    Your words were very touchy ,literally I cried at d end 😢
    But happy tht God did miracle at last

  • @lesliemolloy6541
    @lesliemolloy6541 3 роки тому +9

    Thank you for this. It completely resonated with me. ❤️

  • @missashasingh
    @missashasingh Рік тому +3

    To every word you uttered , I can say it's not just you it's also me.

  • @denacouasnon448
    @denacouasnon448 2 роки тому +9

    Your story is literally my story. I honestly am so thankful to Pradeepa for sharing her story! I really needed to hear that i am not alone in my feelings and my fertility journey. Thank you Pradeepa!!

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      I was having problem in getting pregnant until I met Dr Steve who helped me with his Wonderful herbs and I was able to get pregnant. I'm having a twins now all thanks to him. He can help you too.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      W-hatsap him⏬

    • @R-cakes
      @R-cakes Рік тому

      You are not alone my dear❤️

  • @ladytalk3230
    @ladytalk3230 3 роки тому +18

    Currently bursting in tears as if my child just died... it is realllyyy hard. Sometimes it is impossible to stop the tears from coming. But if I hold the pain in it will swallow me up eventually. .... give yourself the permission to feel..... Thanks for the tips.

    • @tamarabusyluv
      @tamarabusyluv 2 роки тому +1

      May the Lord give you strength my sister

    • @ladytalk3230
      @ladytalk3230 2 роки тому

      @@tamarabusyluv thanks sister.

  • @boicychongloi6333
    @boicychongloi6333 Рік тому

    All the best to you and your family!

  • @bonniema6819
    @bonniema6819 5 місяців тому

    Wow… this TedTalk was spot on. I felt all the emotions when watching this.

  • @aishadeesarisaristore3322
    @aishadeesarisaristore3322 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for sharing this, it motivates me, to feel my emotions,.🥰❤❤❤

  • @sreenivasulumuppuri5680
    @sreenivasulumuppuri5680 3 роки тому +7

    Great speech mam.. I am sure it helps many

  • @aishaceesay2679
    @aishaceesay2679 Рік тому +2

    I can't control my tears

  • @khaninderdeka4865
    @khaninderdeka4865 5 місяців тому +1

    Some people take advantage of misery of couples who can't bear children due to some problems

  • @revasdiaries826
    @revasdiaries826 2 роки тому +1

    Wonderfull story inspiring 👍😊

  • @snezray2324
    @snezray2324 Рік тому +4

    I was crying throughout your talk because I can't imagine what you went through for those 16 years, it must have been so painful. I have one child with God's grace and I know that a child brings us so much happiness. Now trying for my second child for the past 2 years and have had some miscarriages etc, and I feel sadness in my heart. Thank you for teaching me that I should accept my emotions. I am so happy for you and I am so glad your ending was a happy one. May God bless you and your family. Also, a lesson to everyone- never ask any man or woman about their marriage status, children, or salary. It's none of your business. If they bring it up on their own, then elaborate on it otherwise do not ask anyone such personal questions

  • @laylah4442
    @laylah4442 2 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing this 💜💜

  • @amruthisiddhaclinic1001
    @amruthisiddhaclinic1001 2 роки тому +1

    Fantastic talk 🎉

  • @swethamp1321
    @swethamp1321 Рік тому

    You are an inspiration , it made me feel better, I resonate whatever u said , it feels awful

  • @ap3008
    @ap3008 2 роки тому +8

    I just found out at 30 year old that my ovaries are like a 40 year old woman's because of genetics...and that my best hope to conceive is through IVF and that trying to conceive naturally and suceeding would be a miracle. Great...Test your AMH levels from the age of 25, women...

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      I was having problem in getting pregnant until I met Dr Steve who helped me with his Wonderful herbs and I was able to get pregnant. I'm having a twins now all thanks to him. He can help you too.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      W-hatsap him⏬

    • @harippriyasambamoorthy8298
      @harippriyasambamoorthy8298 2 роки тому

      Exact same phase I m told the same too 😞

  • @lulubenice1
    @lulubenice1 3 роки тому +6

    Powerful!!!

  • @user-it9tx2vq3n
    @user-it9tx2vq3n 3 роки тому +5

    Thank You!!!

  • @maroonmaroonmaroon2985
    @maroonmaroonmaroon2985 9 місяців тому +1

    Infertility is a bummer

  • @crystalbee9706
    @crystalbee9706 18 днів тому

    Wow. Great story, but I was hoping for a different outcome

  • @parisa5014
    @parisa5014 2 роки тому +5

    I am going though IVF at the moment... 3 transfers that ended in loss and attempting my 4th transfer soon... It has been so hard! Thank you for this, I cried with you! Look at that happy boy so in love with his mom ❤️ he looks like such a sweet and loving child. What a wonderful gift from God!

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      I was having problem in getting pregnant until I met Dr Steve who helped me with his Wonderful herbs and I was able to get pregnant. I'm having a twins now all thanks to him. He can help you too.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      W-hatsap him⏬

    • @cheekyfemme
      @cheekyfemme 2 роки тому +1

      Thinking of you! We are heading into our 7th cycle. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. We are giving ourselves this year then we will take the fostering road. Sending love xx

    • @drsarahalvi
      @drsarahalvi Рік тому +1

      If you wanna talk about it please let me know....I am a trained counselor specialized in health and relationship ..Dr Sarah Alvi

    • @cheekyfemme
      @cheekyfemme Рік тому

      @@drsarahalvi thank you Sarah. We had egg collection today and zero were collected. I am so defeated 😞

  • @irishroessel7814
    @irishroessel7814 2 роки тому +7

    I cried with you ,I am going through this too

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      I was having problem in getting pregnant until I met Dr Steve who helped me with his Wonderful herbs and I was able to get pregnant. I'm having a twins now all thanks to him. He can help you too.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      W-hatsap him⏬

  • @ShradhaNagi
    @ShradhaNagi 2 роки тому +12

    Those who dont understand what is it abt having child and doesnt feel anything... Please dont comment. I am 34 having reserve only 0.24. Only 10 % chance even if i do ivf. I badly wanted a child. Feeling terrible, and a failed woman. If i wouldnt hv a child... I might move on, make myself busy, but will always feel empty.

    • @swapnakarunakaran9584
      @swapnakarunakaran9584 2 роки тому +2

      I m 36 going through the same situation. It's painful.

    • @ikhlass2265
      @ikhlass2265 2 роки тому

      True

    • @mary_puffin
      @mary_puffin Рік тому

      You will find peace and happiness again whether you have children or not. Be encouraged! I hope the best for you, but know that if the childbearing chapter closes for you before you have children, you will be able to grieve and move on.

    • @nicotinedealer7653
      @nicotinedealer7653 Рік тому

      You're not a failed woman, childbirth is not your only job. Please take care.

  • @Subhabrata
    @Subhabrata Рік тому +6

    10 years of childlessness has crushed my all ambitions...
    I will quit my job soon.

    • @nicotinedealer7653
      @nicotinedealer7653 Рік тому +2

      Don't do that man, you can adopt a child if you want one real bad. But honestly, learn how to be self satisfied and have a fulfilling relationship with your wife. Life and marriage are more than having children (and certain other unnecessary benchmarks). Children can be a pain too, and more often than not, it isn't a rewarding experience, atleast in today's world.

    • @Subhabrata
      @Subhabrata Рік тому +3

      @@nicotinedealer7653 First off, thank you for your kindness.
      Let me try this way:
      Can you forget your hunger by looking at beautiful things in this world?
      Childlessness is something like that. People cry in solitude.

    • @nicotinedealer7653
      @nicotinedealer7653 Рік тому

      @@Subhabrata I know, my mom has (and had) four very close friends (male and female), all childless. Their constant pursuit for a biological child ruined their careers/marriages/health. Out of them 2 are no longer alive, 1 of them is still depressed, while the last one has moved on with her life and is doing much better. It is very difficult, and I have no right to tell you how to feel, but please consider this. I know it is hard to forget, but please try to live a happy life despite that. It will hurt, but please do not quit your job or do anything self-destructive. Your identity and life is worth more than your ability to bear an offspring.

    • @Subhabrata
      @Subhabrata Рік тому +1

      @@nicotinedealer7653 Offering you my deepest regards. So kind of you. Thank you very much! I will definitely remember your advice. 🙏

    • @nicotinedealer7653
      @nicotinedealer7653 Рік тому

      @@Subhabrata take care man. We're from the same country so I also understand how hard it gets. Lots of love to you guys.

  • @NishWon
    @NishWon 2 роки тому

    Thank you so much

  • @kimberlydavis9559
    @kimberlydavis9559 2 роки тому +5

    Thank you for sharing. I will take these words to heart. My husband and I will probably have to go the adoption route as it has been 5 years.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      I was having problem in getting pregnant until I met Dr Steve who helped me with his Wonderful herbs and I was able to get pregnant. I'm having a twins now all thanks to him. He can help you too.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      W-hatsap him⏬

  • @payeldutta7757
    @payeldutta7757 2 місяці тому

    Same story with me... exactly the same ... my god... thats extremely painful phase... am going through a lot... dontknw how to help myself... sometimes I just want a miracle to happen... but alas... it never happened...

  • @veryconfused9768
    @veryconfused9768 2 роки тому +2

    i am in tears, my mother suffered from infertility and i am adopted, i have been going through rough patches in life with my fertility,this video gives me hope that i will be happy with a child.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      I was having problem in getting pregnant until I met Dr Steve who helped me with his Wonderful herbs and I was able to get pregnant. I'm having a twins now all thanks to him. He can help you too.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      W-hatsap him⏬

    • @Minnie718
      @Minnie718 Рік тому

      Hugs

  • @hadisokla5058
    @hadisokla5058 Рік тому +1

    For you, who have IVF struggle . Thats ocay for the first time . After 3 cycles, you probably has a chance of 83-90% to get pregnant . After 8 cycles, the chance of getting pregnant is higher . So for all of you, this is a journal that I read . I am searching about it a lot . I hope you can be more enjoy to this process.

  • @Urvashi-vw1nj
    @Urvashi-vw1nj Рік тому +1

    I am suffering from premature ovarian insufficiency, minimal egg reserve. Multiple IUIs, multiple IVFs. So many injections, so many drugs. I've forgotten myself, as if my life is being controlled by these cycles of treatments.
    This is very personal, so din tell anyone in the beginning. The more you tell, the more you have to answers. And you become a failure. Things that you can't control. It bring out the worst in you.
    People expect you to act normally, smile when needed. But I am really done with these masks. I want to cry out, and tell them plz understand that i am going through something. Something really hard. I can have negative emotions. But I am not allowed to express.

    • @Urvashi-vw1nj
      @Urvashi-vw1nj Рік тому

      At the same time, spirituality has helped me a lot. And hope, it makes me strong enough to keep going.

  • @MeIntiammayi
    @MeIntiammayi 2 роки тому

    😭😭😭😭it's really hard

  • @Lilwitchyreads
    @Lilwitchyreads 3 роки тому +2

    😭

  • @shobharajan5485
    @shobharajan5485 3 роки тому +2

  • @shwetapatil6804
    @shwetapatil6804 Рік тому +4

    Why it’s shameful to not to have kids?

  • @ThelovelyMsGraham
    @ThelovelyMsGraham 2 роки тому +2

    😢

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      I was having problem in getting pregnant until I met Dr Steve who helped me with his Wonderful herbs and I was able to get pregnant. I'm having a twins now all thanks to him. He can help you too.

    • @samanthasteel2499
      @samanthasteel2499 2 роки тому

      W-hatsap him⏬

  • @rs-zl7re
    @rs-zl7re 3 роки тому +15

    Adopt a kid , help the society and yourself.

    • @lesliemolloy6541
      @lesliemolloy6541 3 роки тому +16

      Her story is my story. Clearly you didn't watch her whole story

    • @afreenfarzana8919
      @afreenfarzana8919 3 роки тому +24

      People have rights to want kids of their own..

    • @FreedomofSpeech865
      @FreedomofSpeech865 3 роки тому +5

      @@afreenfarzana8919 exactly. Also adoption is very expensive. Also, adoptive parents can change their minds...

    • @Minamomy1
      @Minamomy1 3 роки тому +19

      This is not necessary to tell a woman going through infertility

    • @Android-ds9ie
      @Android-ds9ie 3 роки тому +4

      @@afreenfarzana8919 that is just genetic ego

  • @Avijit.305
    @Avijit.305 3 роки тому +17

    Why woman have to get a kid? It's not a necessary thing.

    • @Minamomy1
      @Minamomy1 3 роки тому +7

      Because they want to .

    • @ishitasingh5330
      @ishitasingh5330 2 роки тому +1

      @@Android-ds9ie might be waste for you but your logics will not apply to someone else’s life

    • @parisa5014
      @parisa5014 2 роки тому +2

      Because some people would make excellent mothers and it is their calling from God to get there, like this speaker ❤️

  • @hemantverma4139
    @hemantverma4139 2 роки тому

    Woman who are facing infertility please take patanjali medicine.