HFY Reddit Stories | Except the Humans

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  • Опубліковано 23 вер 2024
  • Except the Humans...
    An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/SomeOne111Z
    Original Story: / except_the_humans
    Please consider supporting me here: / scifistories1977
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    #hfy #exceptthehumans #scifistories1977 #space #spaceorcs #scifi

КОМЕНТАРІ • 569

  • @BetaSolution
    @BetaSolution 8 місяців тому +1795

    I love this.
    Humans: "Why are you here?"
    Danik: "They're bullying us..."
    Humans: "Say no more."

    • @jj_gaming2589
      @jj_gaming2589 7 місяців тому +125

      Also humans : im about to end this man’s whole career

    • @mr.robinson1982
      @mr.robinson1982 7 місяців тому +79

      Humans: Point them out...

    • @america8706
      @america8706 7 місяців тому +66

      I got you little bro. * clones Admiral Chester Nimitz*

    • @PeachDragon_
      @PeachDragon_ 7 місяців тому

      ​@@america8706*rebuilds a new space carrier and calls it enterprise*

    • @rotrox4145
      @rotrox4145 7 місяців тому +29

      @@america8706 Why stop there? Clone admiral Yi, the guy who managed to win a naval battle 333 vs 13 ships without taking a single casualty.
      Mind you he only took out 30 something ships before having to retreat, but his actions allowed the koreans to seize victory from the japanese time and time again.

  • @johngellare3507
    @johngellare3507 9 місяців тому +1538

    Zanzi: "We have a Dreadnought!"
    Humanity: *"Hippity Hoppity your ship is now our property"*

    • @daddyleon
      @daddyleon 8 місяців тому +24

      Would be nice if they had said that

    • @sirtko
      @sirtko 8 місяців тому +11

      😅

    • @TheGamingNia
      @TheGamingNia 8 місяців тому +49

      "We have a dreadnought"
      _"I like those odds."_

    • @Slayer398
      @Slayer398 8 місяців тому +8

      LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an awesome line!

    • @OR56
      @OR56 8 місяців тому +12

      “I’ve got a jar of dirt!”

  • @worldcomicsreview354
    @worldcomicsreview354 9 місяців тому +1348

    Aliens: We can give you this advanced tech, but even one ship takes really long to build.
    Humans: Allow us to introduce you to this thing we called speedrunning...

    • @commandercritic9036
      @commandercritic9036 8 місяців тому +187

      I prefer this
      Human Leader: hmmm… by chance, have any of you heard of the “Assembly Line”?
      Aliens: 🤨
      Human Leader: 😁 Allow me to explain… help me out boys!
      Human workers: ooooh, Captain’s gonna sing a shanty!

    • @porsche-sandoesnotundersta8184
      @porsche-sandoesnotundersta8184 7 місяців тому

      i get that reference,​@@commandercritic9036

    • @Antebios
      @Antebios 7 місяців тому +43

      OSHA would like a word. 😂

    • @user-kh8cc4bx7y
      @user-kh8cc4bx7y 7 місяців тому

      @@commandercritic9036 reading this made my day better thank you

    • @lotuscabage4755
      @lotuscabage4755 7 місяців тому +21

      Wartime economy

  • @tankish1529
    @tankish1529 10 місяців тому +1325

    Aliens - “FTL drives are too complicated to mass produce”
    Humans - “Hold my beer!”

    • @christianlee576
      @christianlee576 9 місяців тому +12

      lol...😅😅😅😅...Hold My Beer...lol...

    • @akiro9635
      @akiro9635 9 місяців тому +62

      Sweat shops: can we get a break where exhausted
      Elon musk: no faster now

    • @Trucksofwar
      @Trucksofwar 9 місяців тому +13

      Hold my beer & watch this shit! 😂

    • @denisemcdougal6445
      @denisemcdougal6445 8 місяців тому +3

      😂

    • @MichaelMallio
      @MichaelMallio 8 місяців тому +3

      damm this ones buy one get one free

  • @redraptorx1066
    @redraptorx1066 8 місяців тому +586

    human: "who are they?"
    alien: "just the things that have been bullying us."
    human: *already working on taking a 3rd dreadnought* "say less."

    • @THEFRISKIESTDINGO
      @THEFRISKIESTDINGO 5 місяців тому +25

      “One question. Did they take your kids?”
      _Some, yes_
      “We’re gonna implode their sun”

    • @chayonouy
      @chayonouy 3 місяці тому +3

      ​@@THEFRISKIESTDINGO
      "One question, did they kill your infants?"
      'Yes'
      "Extinction it is"

  • @andrewowens4421
    @andrewowens4421 10 місяців тому +715

    This story basically boils down to: "You attacked our new alien friends so we teamed up and ran your shit."

    • @brandonquist8394
      @brandonquist8394 7 місяців тому +41

      Even more than that, it wouldn't be hard for us to interpret their story as "You're probably next on the chopping block."

    • @ireallyreallyhategoogle
      @ireallyreallyhategoogle 7 місяців тому

      Nah, it boils down to: "The Danik warned us you were coming, so we got ready. Welcome to hell, bitch."
      When you tell humans aliens exist that can destroy a planet, they get ready to defend theirs tooth and nails

    • @Your_western_knight
      @Your_western_knight Місяць тому

      “I’m about to do what’s called a pro gamer move”

  • @darkwingscooter9637
    @darkwingscooter9637 10 місяців тому +1151

    Humans don't lack the means or the capacity, we merely lack the motivation. Love it.

    • @Hellfire918
      @Hellfire918 10 місяців тому +126

      All of Humanity are E4s, we can do the work...we just rather nap.....the Zanzi learned what happens when they become "the work" & what happens when "the work" prevents an E4 from napping

    • @eddthehead123
      @eddthehead123 9 місяців тому +98

      @@Hellfire918 "The humans are like gigantic, galactic scale bears. They *can* rip you limb from limb with little effort and take an inordinate amount of punishment while doing it. But they prefer to eat and sleep. Standard Operation Orders are; let them"

    • @rohenthar8449
      @rohenthar8449 9 місяців тому +73

      @@eddthehead123 Quark : "Let me tell you something about Hew-mons, Nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people, as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people... will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. You don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes...".

    • @commandercritic9036
      @commandercritic9036 8 місяців тому +11

      @@rohenthar8449 this needs to be the top rated comment on this video

    • @uss_04
      @uss_04 6 місяців тому +10

      Alien refugees “we’ll give you technology to master the stars if you help us out”
      Humans: “Bet”

  • @Le_Fenix
    @Le_Fenix 9 місяців тому +586

    Humanity got gifted a giant ass gun, and used it *very effectively*

    • @donnellebarfield3964
      @donnellebarfield3964 9 місяців тому +55

      Aliens jumped us to 40k in 2 weeks

    • @mr.robinson1982
      @mr.robinson1982 7 місяців тому +16

      We are not "Those who run" but we are "Those who chase" lol

    • @mrlink206
      @mrlink206 7 місяців тому +7

      Origin story of the BFG confirmed

    • @thenoteworthy1298
      @thenoteworthy1298 6 місяців тому +5

      Human used gun.
      It’s super effective!

  • @TheNerdForAllSeasons
    @TheNerdForAllSeasons 9 місяців тому +622

    "The eventual invasion of Earth"
    Xeno scum: Why do I hear banjos?

    • @worldcomicsreview354
      @worldcomicsreview354 9 місяців тому +99

      When the asteroids start speaking Terran Standard...

    • @TheNerdForAllSeasons
      @TheNerdForAllSeasons 9 місяців тому +77

      @@worldcomicsreview354 soon to be renamed "Galactic Standard".

    • @Sephiroth144
      @Sephiroth144 8 місяців тому +13

      Kinda weird to put banjos in the Boss Music...

    • @OR56
      @OR56 8 місяців тому +17

      When the space dust starts speaking Human:

    • @X-Prime123
      @X-Prime123 8 місяців тому +1

      😂😂😂

  • @GuukanKitsune
    @GuukanKitsune 10 місяців тому +1422

    Humans: "For our next amazing trick, we'll make two whole fleetloads of jerks disappear! Sorry, folks, we're not nearly as good at making them REappear, though. "

    • @mrbuttocks6772
      @mrbuttocks6772 10 місяців тому +71

      Honestly I can see something like that being used as a simultaneous joke and threat.

    • @piotrskodowski7544
      @piotrskodowski7544 10 місяців тому +14

      XD

    • @WilliamBraswell-es6pp
      @WilliamBraswell-es6pp 8 місяців тому +36

      It’s the creed of humanity, “fuck around and find out”.

    • @GuukanKitsune
      @GuukanKitsune 8 місяців тому +20

      @WilliamBraswell-es6pp I always felt it tended to be "Don't START nothin', won't BE nothin'."

    • @WilliamBraswell-es6pp
      @WilliamBraswell-es6pp 8 місяців тому +5

      @@GuukanKitsune same thing right? It means that if you are going to fight, be ready to get a black eye

  • @voidcamel5981
    @voidcamel5981 8 місяців тому +254

    Imagining the Flag Ship being found werks later on the space equivalent of cinder blocks and stripped to it's shell is the funniest mental image.

  • @anathardayaldar
    @anathardayaldar 10 місяців тому +827

    "FTL drives were too complicated to make more than one at a time."
    human minecraft players: I know how to make a farm to produce 64 per hour!

    • @justindunlap1235
      @justindunlap1235 10 місяців тому +103

      Pick up phone: "china, we have a job for you."

    • @МстиславКоряков
      @МстиславКоряков 10 місяців тому +87

      "Hey folks, today im streaming my FTL engine assembling speedrun".. :D

    • @justjoe5373
      @justjoe5373 9 місяців тому +7

      Old SSundee be like

    • @sirtko
      @sirtko 8 місяців тому +1

      😅😅

    • @MisterPuck
      @MisterPuck 7 місяців тому +4

      I’m just waiting for the day someone builds a computer in Minecraft that can run Minecraft.

  • @MichaelMiller-bs3tz
    @MichaelMiller-bs3tz 8 місяців тому +239

    Aliens: FTL ships are too complex to build quickly
    Humans: Have you ever heard of 3D printing?

    • @Proxima_X
      @Proxima_X 7 місяців тому +18

      Have you ever heard of china?

    • @trgyfhgnt3
      @trgyfhgnt3 7 місяців тому +3

      @@Proxima_X lol

    • @ireallyreallyhategoogle
      @ireallyreallyhategoogle 7 місяців тому +8

      Humans: I guess you aren't familiar with mass production, automation and exploitation of labour.

  • @Forsworcen
    @Forsworcen 7 місяців тому +163

    I love that the Danik being taken in, from an outside perspective, seems like charity. From a humans perspective it makes total sense. You have a race with advanced technology that is willing to share it for the low low price of a place to live. It makes complete sense to make that deal and it’s 100% something we’d do if aliens showed up one day begging for help. Cause the temptation is too powerful to worry about potential risks.

    • @RexZShadow
      @RexZShadow 6 місяців тому +27

      Honestly the worst decision was to send a beaten and batter face to us because nothing get us going like a sense of fucking impending doom lol.

    • @Yokoto12343
      @Yokoto12343 2 місяці тому +1

      Behold the millitary industrial complex​@@RexZShadow

  • @thegungadfly8930
    @thegungadfly8930 8 місяців тому +203

    That’s one thing about humans that echoes through our literature. We are curious, adaptive and love our weapons and engines. Three words that always describe us, better, deadlier, faster.

    • @malcirhodes3
      @malcirhodes3 7 місяців тому +14

      Harder better faster stronger lol

    • @ireallyreallyhategoogle
      @ireallyreallyhategoogle 7 місяців тому +3

      And also, MORE

    • @bitze865
      @bitze865 6 місяців тому +10

      dont forget highly unfocused until we got a common goal/enemy

    • @Valkyrie77
      @Valkyrie77 6 місяців тому +8

      @@bitze865 ...and that's not wrong. I mean check out the space race:
      before:
      US: place something in space? why?
      RU: We have placed a man in space and thinking of landed on the moon next.
      After:
      US: F.Y. we landed on the moon first!
      RU: WTF?!

    • @rohenthar8449
      @rohenthar8449 3 місяці тому

      @@Valkyrie77 Soviets also didn't wished to put anything in sapce, they were interested in weapons only, but Korolev put sputnik as a decoy warhead to test rocket carrying capacity, yes he lied to the commissar, otherwise we would never go to space, as we see today, where there is no more competition or... dreams.

  • @OR56
    @OR56 8 місяців тому +257

    “Would immediately punch a hole in time space and fly off to who knows where.”
    I guarantee that at least half of those captains said the Star Trek opening monologue before engaging the drive.
    “And to boldly go, where no man has gone before…”
    *engages FTL drive*

    • @ignaciocambero9314
      @ignaciocambero9314 8 місяців тому +14

      we gonna search por space ussy

    • @sandrosliske
      @sandrosliske 7 місяців тому +15

      It would be hard to resist saying it.

  • @mrlink206
    @mrlink206 7 місяців тому +61

    *friendly aliens introduce themselves and warn of mean aliens*
    Humans: “Kaboom?”
    Other Humans: “Yes, neighbor, kaboom.”

    • @kapitan19969838
      @kapitan19969838 3 місяці тому +5

      I understood that great and obscure reference!

  • @jdtheone
    @jdtheone 10 місяців тому +181

    Xenos: we will take your planet
    Human: okay boys time to kick their asses and take their toys

    • @ignaciocambero9314
      @ignaciocambero9314 8 місяців тому +11

      they gonna learn why we stop doing war between us

    • @zoltanmeszaros4684
      @zoltanmeszaros4684 6 місяців тому +3

      @@ignaciocambero9314war crimes which is written down in the treaty of versilles only allow to humans ,so imagion we use them as suggestions.

  • @DiggerJoseph
    @DiggerJoseph 7 місяців тому +55

    "We brought a Dreadnaught to destroy you"
    "No, you brought us a Dreadnaught to destroy you"

  • @THEFRISKIESTDINGO
    @THEFRISKIESTDINGO 5 місяців тому +24

    One of the things from all these stories that does resonate as true is just how quickly we would make the jump from “hmmm these ships have weapons on them” to “we need to be able to implode a star-just in case.”

  • @tiredman99
    @tiredman99 6 місяців тому +39

    Zanzi: You're approaching me?
    Humans: I can't kick the shit out of you from way over here

  • @BreadApologist
    @BreadApologist 8 місяців тому +72

    “All 4 planet killing weapons charged and ready”
    It was at that moment the Zanzi knew, they fucked up.

  • @CD-vb9fi
    @CD-vb9fi 9 місяців тому +154

    Wow... "demoted" AFTER "execution"? Yea... screw that one guy right there in particular for thinking they could push a few pesky humans over.

    • @shawncarroll5255
      @shawncarroll5255 9 місяців тому +7

      I no longer have the book handy, but David Brin in his opus Startide Rising has a Tandu Admiral (insectoid race that considers using probability drives that when they fail dissopve the ship in a probability vortex an acceptable risk) tells a subordinate that had failed, to go to the admiral's quarters and with his last sentient thought remove his head and put it on the trophy rack.
      The subordinate leaves to follow his orders, replying it hopes the new head it grows serves the admiral better. The Tandu are truly alien...😱

    • @Sephiroth144
      @Sephiroth144 8 місяців тому +6

      That way, the family doesn't get as good of a stipend; yeah, its something that can happen (but usually for on the spot executions as opposed to deliberated ones)

    • @daddyleon
      @daddyleon 8 місяців тому +8

      Insult to injury, in an honour society, you can even be hurt after death. Like pissing on a grave

  • @julesmasseffectmusic
    @julesmasseffectmusic 6 місяців тому +22

    Aliens: help we are being bullied.
    Humans: holy shit, a war from moral high ground, yippee

  • @pyrosplicer85
    @pyrosplicer85 8 місяців тому +80

    Zanzi "Runaway!"
    Humans "Did I say you could leave?"

    • @infernaloz6486
      @infernaloz6486 7 місяців тому +8

      "Don't run you'll only die tired"

    • @shrubman3422
      @shrubman3422 6 місяців тому +1

      Like a teacher The Bell don't dismiss you I do!!!

    • @thatguywhoanimids
      @thatguywhoanimids 2 місяці тому +1

      @@shrubman3422 “and in this case, I dismiss your *EXISTANCE* “

  • @khylerbane4523
    @khylerbane4523 9 місяців тому +270

    Aliens: “Thank you for freeing us from the Zanzi military.”
    Humanity: “I wouldn’t say ‘freed’, more like ‘under new management’.”

    • @スガル
      @スガル 7 місяців тому +26

      A better management atleast

    • @Senok13
      @Senok13 7 місяців тому +12

      In this stories humanity doesn't share Hal's "nice guy" syndrome...

    • @logankelly6807
      @logankelly6807 7 місяців тому +4

      ​@@Senok13at least most of humanity

    • @ireallyreallyhategoogle
      @ireallyreallyhategoogle 7 місяців тому +9

      Nah, the humans welcomed their new allies against a threat they didn't know existed.
      The racism would start after the war. Probably forcing most Danik to leave Earth to form some kind of colony somewhere.

    • @giovannipeggio5071
      @giovannipeggio5071 6 місяців тому +7

      ​@@ireallyreallyhategooglenah, the Danik would be good. Zanzism would be the norm

  • @ron10027
    @ron10027 10 місяців тому +139

    Finally a channel that uses a clear voice THANK YOU

  • @konradsandweg
    @konradsandweg 10 місяців тому +282

    I was laughing so hard... this was great! For any Larry Niven fans out there... Humanity has stopped studyng war because they have become so very good at it.

    • @swiftmatic
      @swiftmatic 10 місяців тому +23

      💯 Kzin: "Scream and leap!"
      Humans: SMACK!! "Bad rat-kitties"

    • @sasanach8
      @sasanach8 10 місяців тому +6

      yes im a fan loved larry niven

    • @Demun1649
      @Demun1649 10 місяців тому +3

      Yeh, because war is great fun unless you've been in a real one! Which you either haven't been, or you are from the US, and fighting against people who are nowhere near your technology equals.

    • @swiftmatic
      @swiftmatic 10 місяців тому +11

      @Demun1649 Dude, it's fiction. Put a sock in it or get over yourself

    • @cr90captain89
      @cr90captain89 9 місяців тому

      @@swiftmatic plus war has driven everything about human society, every innovation we have can be traced back to warfare being the innovator, some of our most sophisticated creations were used in warfare before being used for commercial use.
      the very internet we use now is a military creation, modern cities are just massive populated & compacted forts.
      & the commercial sector? that's just a nations logistics.
      guy probably does not realize he wouldn't have his computer/ phone/ laptop without war in the first place.
      war is a necessary part of our history & our future.
      otherwise we will slowly slip into complacency & authoritarianism.

  • @raffausfaus
    @raffausfaus 4 місяці тому +17

    “Any alien race would tremble before the might of the empire’s Death Star”
    “Except the humans”

  • @penemuelwatcher2378
    @penemuelwatcher2378 9 місяців тому +51

    The Donik knew exactly what they were doing.
    ...and we responded obligingly.
    ...it was quite a win-win situation.

    • @sunshinecarnivores1919
      @sunshinecarnivores1919 7 місяців тому +8

      They actually found allies that didn't treat them like crap but equals instead.

    • @bitze865
      @bitze865 6 місяців тому +8

      you give us technology and a target and we go to work

  • @UNNYANEMPEROR38
    @UNNYANEMPEROR38 8 місяців тому +53

    we went from first flight to first space flight in less than 100 years

    • @martinxy1291
      @martinxy1291 7 місяців тому

      If the Danik are hot af we'd do it in 10 weeks

    • @jakubw.2779
      @jakubw.2779 6 місяців тому +10

      The progress our civilization made throughout last 100 years is absolutely insane and on a scale never seen before.
      It took 3 centuries to transform manufacturing into industralization, but only one to move from steam machines to nuclear reactors, and even less to switch from fission to fusion, because let's be honest here, with the way the current progress with nuclear fusion is going, sustainable nuclear fusion is just around the corner

    • @UNNYANEMPEROR38
      @UNNYANEMPEROR38 6 місяців тому

      @@jakubw.2779 funnily enough, companies like Helion say its entirely possible they will have achieved sustainable and profitable fusion within the next decade

    • @testosterus8935
      @testosterus8935 5 місяців тому +8

      ​@@jakubw.2779 yea its funny how we were stuck in middle age for nearly 700 hundred years then we just suddenly decided to wake up and boom suddenly humans are now in space it's like craaming a homework

  • @SageofStars
    @SageofStars 9 місяців тому +53

    Reminds me a lot of the story of Tri-Planetary and the eventual Lensmen series that came from that. Humans capture, reverse engineer, and modify all the tech they come up against, so that no two battles are fought the same way as the conflict expands, going from ship to ship, to massive fleets, to literally throwing planets at each other, to a beam that uses an entire star as its focusing lens, and the final one was a pair of planets, one made entirely of antimatter, accelerated in another dimension to beyond light speed, and then dropped out into normal space with a fold of the other dimension following, so the two world collided around the enemy capital planet.
    That series was awesome.

    • @calebkaminski6951
      @calebkaminski6951 8 місяців тому

      Forget blowing up planet
      They're removing them from existence

    • @Skyblade12
      @Skyblade12 6 місяців тому

      It’s a shame that it’s so overlooked. On the other hand, that does mean that it wouldn’t be ruined by a modern retelling.

    • @SageofStars
      @SageofStars 3 місяці тому

      @@Skyblade12 I mean, there is the anime.

    • @Skyblade12
      @Skyblade12 3 місяці тому

      @@SageofStars I haven't been able to find it. I've heard mixed things about it. Read the books to death, though.

    • @SageofStars
      @SageofStars Місяць тому +1

      @@Skyblade12 It's not very good, and it's why EEDoc Smith's estate put a kibosh on any more adaptations of the work. As it's own thing, it's a very 80s anime, with high production values, and it uses the names of the story, but does more of a Star Wars plot with it all, with the Lens being less of a 'magic feather' as it turns out to be in the books, and more of an actual weapon designed to kill the big bad Boskone...which is a giant blob monster.

  • @bitze865
    @bitze865 6 місяців тому +13

    this story gives me "According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground," ""The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible." vibes

  • @helmetongrass1893
    @helmetongrass1893 6 місяців тому +21

    In every story the humans are like the quiet kid of the galaxy 😂

  • @baohoang4966
    @baohoang4966 4 місяці тому +8

    Human: "Who are those guys?"
    Danik: "The one that bullying us!"
    Human: "Say less, i got you covered!"

    • @Alche_mist
      @Alche_mist 2 місяці тому

      Oh, those assholes you told us about? They don't seem that tough...

  • @sabersroommate8293
    @sabersroommate8293 8 місяців тому +37

    Higher dimension beings watching and laughing at mankind do the "impossible" for the nth time while their neighbors look at awe.

  • @hairtoss7975
    @hairtoss7975 10 місяців тому +84

    "All your dreadnoughts are belong to us."

  • @labbit35
    @labbit35 8 місяців тому +19

    If humans can go from WW2 level tech to modern tech in just 80 years, imagine what humans can achieve if we were gifted some sci fi tech. We would be making flagships several kilometres long and railgun ships that have a large railgun that can decapitate ships with ease

    • @LordGrillo-t3c
      @LordGrillo-t3c 8 місяців тому

      Actually human tech greatly decelerated in the last 40 years, all new power sources demand to abandon fossils and thus the capital powers got us stagnated since the 90s.

  • @tinfoilpapercut3547
    @tinfoilpapercut3547 10 місяців тому +261

    The story of unity between Humanity and the Dan'ik only makes sense if you assume their females look like Draenei.

    • @michaelbarnard8529
      @michaelbarnard8529 10 місяців тому

      Oh, I don’t know. “We got kicked off our planet by violent aliens. We have tech. Can we room with you guys?” Would be pretty convincing for the developed world, and the rest wouldn’t matter.

    • @RealChrisB119
      @RealChrisB119 10 місяців тому +62

      Yes, my very first thought was these aliens must be smokin' to be so quickly accepted.

    • @andrewowens4421
      @andrewowens4421 10 місяців тому +107

      If you want humanity on your side, as long as you're vaguely humanoid and "hot" then you'll already have one foot in the door.

    • @Jake-cm9jj
      @Jake-cm9jj 9 місяців тому

      We tend to treat people much better if you bribe us and give us motivation. The Danik were probably like "hey these jerks are going to try and come and enslave you like they did to us...here is all our technology, think you can do something with it?" Hence bribed and given an outside threat to unite against.

    • @gsilva220
      @gsilva220 9 місяців тому +1

      @@andrewowens4421 Either hot or cute

  • @NinjaViking1
    @NinjaViking1 10 місяців тому +26

    Love this story....
    The A.I. reading is one of the better ones.
    I come back every few days,
    listen again,
    and again.

  • @janhammekenbuch142
    @janhammekenbuch142 9 місяців тому +38

    ... Except, well, the humans...
    I had a good laugh with the story. Keep up the good work. 🙂

  • @Beauloqs
    @Beauloqs 8 місяців тому +14

    This series makes me feel proud to be a human......how umusual these days....

  • @Trucksofwar
    @Trucksofwar 9 місяців тому +57

    There’s a reason why aliens lock the doors when they fly past this place 😂

    • @ignaciocambero9314
      @ignaciocambero9314 8 місяців тому +1

      for that and also for the blood ravens

    • @BlackdragonPL
      @BlackdragonPL 7 місяців тому +3

      Is the solar system space Detroit?

    • @trgyfhgnt3
      @trgyfhgnt3 7 місяців тому +1

      @@BlackdragonPL can't have shit in Detroit

    • @Swolesauce96
      @Swolesauce96 7 місяців тому +2

      Can’t have shit in the Copernican system 🙄

    • @RenfownGaming
      @RenfownGaming 4 місяці тому

      ​@@BlackdragonPLcan't have shit in sol-78.

  • @fifthfreedom7
    @fifthfreedom7 10 місяців тому +59

    love it! its delightful visualizing humans (and a friendly alien w tech) kicking ass against other alien bullies. thank you. i look forward each eve to here these short syfy stories densly packed with creative plot. congrats! and awesome AI voice narration

    • @scifistories1977
      @scifistories1977  10 місяців тому +4

      I hope you enjoyed this evenings stories! A completely new series starts tomorrow.

  • @darthalghul6338
    @darthalghul6338 7 місяців тому +5

    Humans: This planet is under new management...BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY BLINDERS

  • @Waroftheworldsz
    @Waroftheworldsz 9 місяців тому +15

    It’s all fun and games until the Humans show up with five dreadnoughts.

  • @Saiyan0X
    @Saiyan0X 10 місяців тому +6

    Alien species: It takes us MONTHS to build a new ship!
    Humans: Those are ROOKIE NUMBERS!!! *-Builds one every week-*

  • @noxic8863
    @noxic8863 7 місяців тому +4

    I love how in so many of these stories humans are basically a bunch of tech goblins that can dismantle and re-create basically any piece of technology they can get their hands on and have (or can produce) enough manpower to mass produce said technology, as well as having such crackhead determination and maniacal creativity that they can do pretty much anything they propose themselves and seemingly punch far above their weight, as soon as they discover there's more intelligent life than themselves to compete with at least

    • @butcher24yrold
      @butcher24yrold 7 місяців тому

      The human desire to conquer is great. We've already conquered our little blue planet.

    • @johnchestnut5340
      @johnchestnut5340 7 місяців тому

      World War II America would like to be remembered. Manufacturing broke records. We produced almost as quickly as war machinery was destroyed...sometimes more quickly. Look up liberty ships.

    • @baohoang4966
      @baohoang4966 4 місяці тому

      It's just based on our true nature ! We're not behind anyone because of our capability. We just behind them because we have no reason to surpass them yet!!

  • @gabrieldasilva7970
    @gabrieldasilva7970 6 місяців тому +6

    Earth command: Hey Marines, those alien ships have them new flavored crayons...
    Marines: * reloading guns with religious intent *
    Aliens: why do I hear boss musi--- *explodes *

  • @charleskutrufis9612
    @charleskutrufis9612 10 місяців тому +20

    Thank you for the best entertainment I've had in a while. Great twist.

  • @SSFallingTTB
    @SSFallingTTB 6 місяців тому +2

    Aliens:You destroyed the entire fleet!
    Humans:Your honor free bird was playing.

  • @thenews6743
    @thenews6743 6 місяців тому +2

    I like the idea that the greatest advantages that our species could have is something we already have currently take for granted, not some random sifi tech. From the way the narrator describes it, the Humans may have just been the only species in the galaxy to abandon the artisan/guild production system in favor of assembly lines, or something equally ridiculous.

  • @wngimageanddesign9546
    @wngimageanddesign9546 10 місяців тому +10

    Humans: "Badges? We need no stinkin' badges!"

  • @gw2macken757
    @gw2macken757 10 місяців тому +20

    Every... every invasion starts at Mars then onto Earth. What's up with that? Most of the time Mars is no where near the orbit of Earth, but the aliens always run into Mars first. Dumb ass aliens just don't know how to do a good invasion.

    • @grogvaughan5649
      @grogvaughan5649 10 місяців тому +8

      It all depends on where from outside our solar system they are coming from. What time of year it is and so forth. Doesn't really seem odd to me at all.

    • @nadjasunflower1387
      @nadjasunflower1387 10 місяців тому +7

      @@grogvaughan5649 Not odd at all, considering to do an invasion you have to stage somewhere close enough to the target, but far enough away from the defenses. Like you said since coming from outside the solar system, Mars would be the closest gravity well to assemble in before launching an attack.

    • @grogvaughan5649
      @grogvaughan5649 10 місяців тому +3

      @nadjasunflower1387 Exactly, it all comes down to tactics and logistics.

    • @hairtoss7975
      @hairtoss7975 10 місяців тому +7

      Paying homage to the god of war.

    • @julesmasseffectmusic
      @julesmasseffectmusic 6 місяців тому

      Take out the obvious colony world first, don't go for the homeworld first. You want surrender not obliteration.

  • @billhinkle5344
    @billhinkle5344 7 місяців тому +3

    Danik: FTL engines are hard to make.
    Humans: Do you want to see how fast we make cars. Then we'll show you fast we make ships

  • @terrorlizard
    @terrorlizard 4 місяці тому +2

    I always find it funny when aliens invade yet do not account for local wild life.

  • @michaelborden363
    @michaelborden363 10 місяців тому +13

    Great show my friend, just printed in our minds and I love that. The voice behind the narration is pivotal. Don't get rid of that guy.

  • @JRRodriguez-nu7po
    @JRRodriguez-nu7po 10 місяців тому +37

    Love it, reminds me of a similar "Humans don't give a f..." where at the end the alien narrator remarks that humans are the honey badgers of the galaxy. Also reminds me of me. At 11yo a gang in NYC cornered me and forced me to fight their leader. Their leader woke up in the ICU minus his spleen and half his liver. The gang then realized I ran because I am intelligent, not because I am weak.
    Our 4 kids call my wife the honey badger. They call me the grizzly bear. I smile at her yapping at my heels and she feels good that I barely notice. Peace through strength.

    • @therasco400
      @therasco400 10 місяців тому

      Humans do give a fuck when you attack there home world though.

  • @Linuxgurugamer-vr1vw
    @Linuxgurugamer-vr1vw 10 місяців тому +18

    Great story, nothing better, except the Humans

  • @sardukgarthos
    @sardukgarthos 10 місяців тому +10

    I found this the most amusing story... but its true, if anything... humans can be very inventive and are extremely adaptable

  • @terryrose4804
    @terryrose4804 10 місяців тому +7

    The "History voice" does very well. And the stories are entertaining.

  • @attilaabonyi8879
    @attilaabonyi8879 10 місяців тому +8

    The Zanzi:"weird,our flagship is intact..but it's cannons are still charged, why would they be unle- IT'S A TRAP, RUUUUUUUN!!"
    human named ahmed:"if this worked in Afganistan then it HAS to work in space aswell, right?"
    The commander for the human fleet:"no Ahmed, it WILL work,"

  •  2 дні тому

    Humans: When you hear the music, get out of the water. Goes for banjos too.
    Zanzi: What's a banjo?

  • @nesapanjalingam704
    @nesapanjalingam704 4 місяці тому +2

    I enjoyed this story immensely - each time the phrase 'except for the humans' came, I laughed out loud & waited for its next appearance 😁😄
    Thank you 💙💚❤️ for all your effort & the time you put in when uploading this. It is really truly appreciated 🙏
    You really made my day, you know 🙏🤗

  • @intoHeck1964
    @intoHeck1964 9 місяців тому +5

    I like to think the times are wonky due to differing planetary orbits. Like 400 days is actually like 10 earth years

    • @Youtubecensormydick
      @Youtubecensormydick 8 місяців тому

      I think with the right tech and motivation we could do it.

    • @trgyfhgnt3
      @trgyfhgnt3 7 місяців тому

      there's probably a difference yeah, but nowhere near that large,

  • @lornbaker1083
    @lornbaker1083 7 місяців тому +3

    Aliens knocking at your door? Better call Sol.

  • @SpicierTaco
    @SpicierTaco 6 місяців тому +1

    They really went toe-to-toe with the one branch of service that basically made a reputation for themselves by fighting every clime and place...those dreadnoughts never stood chance. 😅😅

  • @noormohammad9148
    @noormohammad9148 10 місяців тому +5

    What a fantastic story... Depicting the inner drive for survival of humans

  • @sonar357
    @sonar357 8 місяців тому +2

    I like to think, in an alternate Mass Effect universe, if the Quarians discovered the humans in the 21st century, this would be how it would go down: the Quarians would arrive in Sol and be granted refugee status in exchange for scientific and technological know-how. Then, alarmed by the rapid expanse of the human-quarian alliance, the Batarrians would strike, thus awakening the sleeping giant.

  • @DarkPhoenixGaming92
    @DarkPhoenixGaming92 8 місяців тому +9

    I find that generally AI voices feel horribly out of place and mispronounce words in obvious ways that just make listening to it really bad. But this one, while I have noticed one or two things like that, is quite good and you have to really listen to notice the Ai-ness". At least I do. The quality is quite good compared to other content read by AI I've listened to anyways.

  • @swiftmatic
    @swiftmatic 10 місяців тому +8

    Great story! In the vein of
    Alan Dean Foster's "With Friends Like These..."

  • @cp1cupcake
    @cp1cupcake 9 місяців тому +3

    This reminds me a lot of the story "The Road not Taken."

    • @fugitivehunter
      @fugitivehunter 6 місяців тому

      Glad I wasn’t the only one reminded of that Harry Turtledove story.

  • @carolinepitts1169
    @carolinepitts1169 9 місяців тому +12

    Now, make sure these stories are played to the members of our Space Force! Great story!

  • @5wasthenumber
    @5wasthenumber 10 місяців тому +7

    I love this story! Exciting!!

  • @JB-yb4wn
    @JB-yb4wn 9 місяців тому +4

    Earth: The planet where empires come to die.

  • @TheRondog19871
    @TheRondog19871 2 місяці тому

    Its a nice change from the trope of "hunans are the undredog" when it comes to joining the galactic comunity

  • @Libycops003
    @Libycops003 4 місяці тому +1

    2 words for how they built the ships so fast
    Canned.
    Spinach.

  • @maxpeacock2421
    @maxpeacock2421 7 місяців тому +2

    God every one of these stories make me wanna play stellaris for another 200 hours

  • @chuck08113
    @chuck08113 2 місяці тому

    You know I like a well disguised poem. No, there's no rhyming, alliteration, or sing songy turn to the words, however there is one repeated reprise. The core sentiment the point the emphasis. Except the Humans. its a wonderfully beautiful little thing.

  • @MurderPierrot
    @MurderPierrot 8 місяців тому +3

    Danik made sure humans are ready 😆

  • @smithsonian2464
    @smithsonian2464 Місяць тому

    The Zanzi retreat
    Humanity: Nice ships, they’re mine now

  • @Pwnager29597
    @Pwnager29597 9 місяців тому +4

    where did you find the background image?

    • @scifistories1977
      @scifistories1977  9 місяців тому

      I generate most of the images using AI. Leonardo.ai - you get 150 credits free a day, so try it out.

  • @martinknox303
    @martinknox303 2 місяці тому +1

    Humans: We are Humans, we understand how to fight a war. We will kick your arse!
    Zanzi: You Humans are inferior. We will crush you with no effort
    Humans: We are not just going to kick your arse by roundly humiliating you in front of everybody, we are going to enjoy doing it. We are Humans, and we are frighteningly good at warfare

  • @ismoyont
    @ismoyont 9 місяців тому +4

    This story can be use for the origin of Terran Empire for Star Trek Universe 😊

  • @Lumberjack_king
    @Lumberjack_king 7 місяців тому +1

    3:36 I’m surprised but also quite proud

  • @CrazyHondaChris-H18
    @CrazyHondaChris-H18 10 місяців тому +3

    Another great story! Thanks

  • @nargalda773
    @nargalda773 10 місяців тому +5

    war, war never change, and we are best in galaxy in it

  • @Valkyrie77
    @Valkyrie77 6 місяців тому

    Not only is this one of the best stories of its kind, the comments are hilarious fun to read! thanks!

  • @DavidOlver
    @DavidOlver 10 місяців тому +2

    this is better sifi then i've watched in a long time

  • @Volvith
    @Volvith 7 місяців тому +1

    This reminds me of another story. One where humanity is given FTL drive technology, yet refuses to colonize other planets.
    And when driven to war, despite owning only one planet, Humanity's forces would outnumber every single enemy they'd face.
    Because while the other species used their FTL drives for galactic expansion, Humanity folded parallel realities. They were a million planets in one.
    Among all galactic species capable of using FTL technology, _the Humans were the only ones to use it correctly._
    Strife breeds motivation.
    Motivation breeds innovation.
    _Don't be the problem Humanity has to innovate to resolve._

  • @pongsatonrattanapriyanuch7331
    @pongsatonrattanapriyanuch7331 6 місяців тому +1

    This feel like space Midway for some reason and Im all for it

  • @AlienTrucker
    @AlienTrucker 10 місяців тому +5

    No alien race I'd truly ready for marines who don't have to worry about war crimes

    • @yisus4681
      @yisus4681 9 місяців тому +3

      ¨the geneva convention only applies to humans¨

    • @AlienTrucker
      @AlienTrucker 9 місяців тому

      @yisus4681 exactly and I didn't realize just how bad autocorrect butchered my comment

    • @calanon534
      @calanon534 7 місяців тому

      @@yisus4681 "We like to call it the Geneva Checklist. Canada, here, helped us write it."
      "How?"
      "By doing most of it first."

  • @jameskimani8537
    @jameskimani8537 10 місяців тому +2

    Wow I love these stories, you guys are awesome.

  • @jinksdalfang8843
    @jinksdalfang8843 7 місяців тому +1

    Humans: why are you running?

  • @judgedredd2039
    @judgedredd2039 8 місяців тому +3

    Zanzi first mistake: Sending an alien race to earth that the humans would take pity on that would also warn them about the Zanzi.
    Second mistake: Sending said race with ship that had advance tech compared to what the humans had.
    Third mistake: Taking a year to realize that needed to put a stop to what was happening.
    Fourth mistake: Sending a fleet
    Fifth mistake: allowing their approach to be noticed.
    Sixth mistake: Not realizing that No other race could challenge them, well... except the humans.

    • @rjbmarchiac8693
      @rjbmarchiac8693 8 місяців тому

      Their main mistake however is that they never considered that the Danik would tightly cooperate with Humanity. They forsaw that Humans would greet the refugees the same as they would have, face to such a small and feeble "trespassing" force: with a swift, merciless and barbaric response driven by a natural xenophobic, self-defence reaction.

    • @ignaciocambero9314
      @ignaciocambero9314 8 місяців тому

      Seventh Mistake: let us borad the big pew pew floating boat

  • @plastikk12
    @plastikk12 Місяць тому

    "Show me the alien race that was bullying you, son."

  • @GonzaloAlvarezWoodCat
    @GonzaloAlvarezWoodCat 8 місяців тому +1

    The Patreon link is bad, missing some point...
    The video was awesome, great work!

  • @Swolesauce96
    @Swolesauce96 7 місяців тому +1

    Danik: Oh yeah this other species is extremely violent and war like, they kicked us out of our home and now they’re coming here.
    Humanity: *Cracks beer* Stand back let me show you how it is done.
    Danik: You don’t underst…
    Humanity: Its been like 5 days they’ve surrendered.
    Danik: 👀 WHAT???!
    Humanity: Now back to the usual business, also which human war’s side are you picking btw??

  • @hansdampf640
    @hansdampf640 10 місяців тому +6

    more context is needed to make this story,somewhat,believeable...
    something like "the danik refugees told the humans about what happened to them and what dangers are out there" and "the danik were beautiful people in the eyes of the humans" (otherwise we would´ve more likely an District 9 Situtation with them"
    anyways...good story!

    • @sib1982
      @sib1982 10 місяців тому +1

      Also it is suggested that perhaps the perception of time might be different, what for the aliens were days or a year, for humas could be centuries

    • @DavidKnowles0
      @DavidKnowles0 9 місяців тому +2

      It needed a line that the Humans weren't actually primitives, they just focus on their home planet and making it the best it could be, instead of developing FTL and particle beams
      We get a hint of this when it described they could build 3d printed skyscrapers. They woke up a sleeping giant that they mistaken as primitive is a much more believable story.

  • @julesmasseffectmusic
    @julesmasseffectmusic 6 місяців тому +1

    Aliens: Why are helping us?
    Humans: We hate bullies.
    A: you can't compete with them.
    H: seen the large mammals that can kill us?
    A: yes, there are many
    H: those are the ones with young we find cute. The others are extinct, we didn't want the competition. We'll be fine, we will go to a war economy.
    A: what's that?
    H: it's what we do when we fight bullies.
    A: but we are your first contact!
    Evil grin
    H: oh sorry, we kinda didn't mention we are bullies.