15:05 girl that’s called survivorship bias. 9/10 people who followed their passion and did cool things have had to live with roommates into their 30s (including me), for illustration purposes.
I said it last time and I'll say it again: LOVE this new format!! ❤ With TFD and its founders growing and most guests being well-known and often from a certain set of industries, bringing other people on really opens us all up to hear about a wider variety of experiences. Love it! ☺
That point about unlimited PTO is super interesting and not having a set number of hours meaning you aren’t paid out of untaken vacation days is not something I had connected the dots on.
I had limited to PTO but one point I earned 45 hours a month. Which I could 100 hours for the next year but get paid out the rest. So if I had 500 hrs and got paid 140/hr. So that’s 70k and that’s comes the next tax year but you still have time to put that into your 401k , hsa , brokerage account, or investments. You will find this at smaller companies. They tend to do 200% percent match, or 10 to 25 percent automatically into your 401k regardless of what you put in or not. For instance you can make 150k and they will automatically put in 25 percent of 150k. So in that IBA they also pay insurance and vision.
@@jelemil True, or not even offer PTO to begin with. But I think this unlimited PTO thing is more popular in big tech spaces with companies that could absolutely afford to have set PTO and pay out unused vacation days, but by having unlimited people use fewer days and then there isn’t even the option of paying out unused PTO is someone leaves.
This is great! It would be super cool to see a video of someone who has significant medical expenses per year and someone who doesnt, with both of them being younger. Just speaking as someone with chronic illness, i work 40-50 hours a week and have over 2k out of pocket of medical expenses each year and i think it’s really hard sometimes for people to conceptualize what that’s like if they don’t experience it if that makes sense?
Normalize independence within relationships more; even financially!! I did the same with my partner at the time and it felt nice to keep our purchases separate and treat the other when we felt like it. It eliminated a lot of the $$ issues/hard conversations because his money was his and my money was mine!
I respect that level of financial independence in a relationship. However, I see being able to choose that option as privileged and I think it is worth mentioning. My partner and I met at uni, but being both slightly older than our classmates we both had to work as much as is legal in our country while keeping the status of full-time students. That having the expenses associated with the basics: rent, health insurance, groceries, etc. already meant that sometimes one needs to pay the other's insurance if we want to both make it without growing debt. Also it means that living together would have been a financial must for us, even if it hadn't been personal preference. So to have that level of financial independence, the basis needs to be there, of 2 people that are earning enough to be able to cover all their basic expenses each and every month. With the current crisis, I'd say there are more than plenty of couples in similar situations as us.
@@CH-vm6cq I'm glad that's been your experience! I got lot of pushback and weird looks from friends and family; suggesting that he didn't "show his love" by wanting to "take care of me". (though maybe that says more about those people around me ^^;;)
@@CristinaAllegra this is soo true and important to acknowledge,!! (since that was the case with me too) I'm so happy you and your partner had each other's backs like that!! It sounds like your relationship was made stronger by the financial support you had with each other! Thanks for reminding me~
I thought I couldn't relate to these people at first bc of the diff in income, but once jamie started talking about getting a job just to make money and not following your passions, I got so sad bc me too girl. Came from a family that does not support jobs or endeavors that don'/ bring a regular, consistent paycheck with benefits and all that, so I've never taken a risk and only applied for jobs I knew would give me stability. I'm almost 30, working in admin, and hate it. 😅 and it's not that easy to just quit either bc that fear runs deep!
Thanks so much for doing this video in this exact format- just the two of them speaking and asking each other these important financial questions because so many of us feel anxious on how do these convos go, how do we approach this. Very useful, thank you.
Saving money can be nice but it can create a situation where you inadvertently create financial codependency. Living separately means that you aren't beholden to the relationship if it needs to end
@@ksen333 This is one of the reasons why I hate my generation. The fact that actually wanting to be in a long term committed relationship is frowned upon. "Ew gross, you want commitment and to spend the rest of your life with someone? What's wrong with you?!"
I'm not religious, but my partner is, and we also waited until we were married to move in. We were lucky enough to live with our parents until then, so the issue of saving money by moving in together prior wasn't an issue. For me, if you're committed and you've seen your partner with eyes wide open, it makes it more special. Cohabitation makes financial sense, but it just didn't feel right for us, and I think I was scared that if I went all in on cohabitation with no promise of 'forever', I might have been reluctant to leave if the relationship went south because I'd feel bad to crawl back to my previous life or feel like I need to stay for the financial codependency.
100% agree! My husband and I also waited until we were married to move in together. It worked for us because: 1) We had been friends for 3 years, then dating for 2 before we got married. If you're paying attention to who your partner is and how they keep their own space, and being honest with yourself about what you can and can't put up with, there shouldn't be any big surprises when you move in. 2) I didn't want to get suckered into the sunk cost fallacy. I've seen lots of friends stay in sub-par or outright bad relationships because they'd already moved in together and didn't have that easy space of their own to retreat to. If you can't afford to live alone, roommates are great. 3) Research actually suggests that people who wait to move in together until at least engagement are happier in their relationships. One explanation is that if you already live together, it's easier to perceive your partner's proposal as happening out of obligation or convenience or social pressure. If you both can easily say No, then your Yes means more. There are other explanations and confounding factors (it's worth considering which populations even choose to get legally married in the first place), but it's a fascinating subject. I highly recommend the Gottman Institute's research into long-term relationships.
This just made me sad lol. Her first job was 75k outside of college... Mine was 19k. I still havent reached 75k. I'm 36😢. Definitely made some wrong decisions. And I'm in financial services so I should be a lot further. And yes I'm trying hard everyday. No chance for opportunity coming my way.
It'd be great if TFD interviewed or worked more with people without 'traditional' office jobs, or Monday to Friday jobs. I've always worked in hospitality which is so different from office jobs not only financially but also socially since it often includes working weekends and nights. I've been following TFD for years and I can't help but feel a bit left out. My industry is so unrelatable to this kind of content sometimes.
Yeah unlimited leave is tricky. As much as I have heard from friends having this policy they actually take less leaves than other peer companies where typically 4 weeks vacation is given. Also they informally frown upon using it, but if it’s in policy then it feels less “guilty”. My firm offers that we can buy vacation days beyond the 4 weeks so you technically can take more days if needed
I've always wondered who could afford to live in Hoboken and jersey city now- all my family is from jersey city but gentrification pushed most of them out. Sad none of us can live there now
this conversation format is great! amazing guests as well, love their insight and how open they are. The US is very weird though, 150k salary for people in their 20s... and they don't even feel weird about it
Definitely not normal even for the U.S. They're just more likely to be available/willing for interviews like this than 20-somethings who do shift work, works multiple jobs, has kids, is in school, etc. Hopefully as this series progresses they'll get folks with other income levels and jobs coming in. (Edited to correct some typos)
Would love to hear the finances of some people who are parents in their 20s. Because even though I've only been one for a few years, I feel completely out-of touch with people my age that don't have kids like this. That said, love the video and the concept here!
“To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.” ― Kofi Annan 🌬💨
It’s so unfortunate that our society makes it seem that you need to do stem, medicine, law or core business to be successful. These are great fields if you’re passionate but it’s also very sad that they pay the highest in incomes. Teachers and many other professions contribute similarly or more maybe in some cases, to society, but in the financial success ladder, they don’t reach the same heights.
I respect their relationship. Every relationship has to decide what works for them, but I strongly advise that no one decide to get married or engaged before moving in together. It's going to be a very difficult transition to transition into a relationship with someone without considering or evaluating what will change in your relationship once you decide to get married.
This is extremely common in Sweden. By the way. Couples having their own rooms. Having their own places. Married or non married, with children or no children. This is all extremely common especially a couple living in their own place unmarried raising a children co parenting. Life expectancy is higher and ppl report being happier.
@@torontohaze5266 I heard her story, and it sounded exceptional, meaning atypical, or unlikely, even. So while it might sound inspiring, it's not useful advice for anyone. American media is full of these kinds stories, because they paper over the reality that most people will never achieve this level of financial success, no matter how hard they try. But for those of us who have accepted the fact that we are not actually temporarily embarrassed millionaires, some practical advice on dealing with our lived experience would be more helpful than a fluff piece about - and I can't stress this enough - an exceedingly rare exception to the rule.
I'm sincerely happy for both of these people but I can't wrap my head around the way they talk about money. I was making $45k annually before taxes in my early 20s while taking care of an aging disabled relative *and* a stay-at-home spouse and I considered that "OK." But in this video they call their 6-figure salaries "OK" and mention checking accounts running out of money quickly, and even needing to pay off debts little by little. How??? What are they spending their earnings on? If I made even half of what either of them make I'd be totally debt-free. Maybe the more money you make, the more money you spend.
Imagine being with someone 3.5+ years and waiting until you're engaged to move in, and then you realize you're incompatible when it comes to cohabitation. Why put off testing this aspect of your relationship until you are engaged?
Personally my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and I told him I don't want for us to live together unless we are married. Both him and I are in the same boat. We also are the type that only want to marry once. It's been good for us to have our own space because it allows our relationship to grow without the financial pressure and stress of being tied to a lease together. Also it is worth noting that I am also in a financial position where I can afford to live on my own. I've heard of too many couples in which they have an argument and fight or things get ugly/abusive and they become homeless escaping their situation. We definitely have spent time at each others place and we've learned each others habits. When it comes to incompatibility in terms of cohabitation, I think the deeper issue is usually lack of respect of the other person. Ideally your partner would be someone that you respect and they respect you along with fostering good communication skills. My boyfriend and I have found that it's more important to focus on building that type of relationship first before deciding to move in and get married etc.
@@Bibirallie and usually the people who wait til marriage to live together are more religious (and thus why they may divorce at a lower rate). Correlation does not equal causation.
I'm in the wrong industry clearly. Been working for 17 years and earn the equivalent of 47 000US$ in my country . and I'm a company director...My salary in my country is considered really good for my industry. LOL!
This recession is most likely the result of an external factor. For the first time in decades, the United States is losing its clout as a federal reserve currency. They don't have any more economies to use to control inflation, and less money is being spent on stock and oil trading than in the past. They all lend support to the idea that a new multilateral world order is in the works.
15:05 girl that’s called survivorship bias. 9/10 people who followed their passion and did cool things have had to live with roommates into their 30s (including me), for illustration purposes.
Yupppp
Fresh Start What are you doing now? Are you happier with your income?
I love how carefully she seems to speak. Feels very intentional
I said it last time and I'll say it again: LOVE this new format!! ❤
With TFD and its founders growing and most guests being well-known and often from a certain set of industries, bringing other people on really opens us all up to hear about a wider variety of experiences. Love it! ☺
Thank you for this!
That point about unlimited PTO is super interesting and not having a set number of hours meaning you aren’t paid out of untaken vacation days is not something I had connected the dots on.
Not all companies pay out for unused vacation
I had limited to PTO but one point I earned 45 hours a month. Which I could 100 hours for the next year but get paid out the rest. So if I had 500 hrs and got paid 140/hr. So that’s 70k and that’s comes the next tax year but you still have time to put that into your 401k , hsa , brokerage account, or investments. You will find this at smaller companies. They tend to do 200% percent match, or 10 to 25 percent automatically into your 401k regardless of what you put in or not. For instance you can make 150k and they will automatically put in 25 percent of 150k. So in that IBA they also pay insurance and vision.
@@jelemil True, or not even offer PTO to begin with. But I think this unlimited PTO thing is more popular in big tech spaces with companies that could absolutely afford to have set PTO and pay out unused vacation days, but by having unlimited people use fewer days and then there isn’t even the option of paying out unused PTO is someone leaves.
This is great! It would be super cool to see a video of someone who has significant medical expenses per year and someone who doesnt, with both of them being younger. Just speaking as someone with chronic illness, i work 40-50 hours a week and have over 2k out of pocket of medical expenses each year and i think it’s really hard sometimes for people to conceptualize what that’s like if they don’t experience it if that makes sense?
Normalize independence within relationships more; even financially!! I did the same with my partner at the time and it felt nice to keep our purchases separate and treat the other when we felt like it. It eliminated a lot of the $$ issues/hard conversations because his money was his and my money was mine!
It is normalized...
I respect that level of financial independence in a relationship. However, I see being able to choose that option as privileged and I think it is worth mentioning. My partner and I met at uni, but being both slightly older than our classmates we both had to work as much as is legal in our country while keeping the status of full-time students. That having the expenses associated with the basics: rent, health insurance, groceries, etc. already meant that sometimes one needs to pay the other's insurance if we want to both make it without growing debt. Also it means that living together would have been a financial must for us, even if it hadn't been personal preference. So to have that level of financial independence, the basis needs to be there, of 2 people that are earning enough to be able to cover all their basic expenses each and every month. With the current crisis, I'd say there are more than plenty of couples in similar situations as us.
@@CH-vm6cq I'm glad that's been your experience! I got lot of pushback and weird looks from friends and family; suggesting that he didn't "show his love" by wanting to "take care of me".
(though maybe that says more about those people around me ^^;;)
@@CristinaAllegra this is soo true and important to acknowledge,!! (since that was the case with me too)
I'm so happy you and your partner had each other's backs like that!! It sounds like your relationship was made stronger by the financial support you had with each other!
Thanks for reminding me~
Wooooow I looove this conversation! I would really love to see a conversation between a first gen and second gen immigrant parent and child.
I thought I couldn't relate to these people at first bc of the diff in income, but once jamie started talking about getting a job just to make money and not following your passions, I got so sad bc me too girl. Came from a family that does not support jobs or endeavors that don'/ bring a regular, consistent paycheck with benefits and all that, so I've never taken a risk and only applied for jobs I knew would give me stability. I'm almost 30, working in admin, and hate it. 😅 and it's not that easy to just quit either bc that fear runs deep!
Thanks so much for doing this video in this exact format- just the two of them speaking and asking each other these important financial questions because so many of us feel anxious on how do these convos go, how do we approach this. Very useful, thank you.
I honestly think a lot of people move in together to save money on another note they aren’t giving “I’m so serious about you I’ll marry you” vibe
So what's the point in being in a relationship if marriage isn't the ultimate goal?
@@justicewilson7929 I agree with you
@@justicewilson7929 lol? whats the point of living if you don't adopt a dog? such a narrow minded way of thinking
Saving money can be nice but it can create a situation where you inadvertently create financial codependency. Living separately means that you aren't beholden to the relationship if it needs to end
@@ksen333 This is one of the reasons why I hate my generation. The fact that actually wanting to be in a long term committed relationship is frowned upon. "Ew gross, you want commitment and to spend the rest of your life with someone? What's wrong with you?!"
I'm not religious, but my partner is, and we also waited until we were married to move in. We were lucky enough to live with our parents until then, so the issue of saving money by moving in together prior wasn't an issue. For me, if you're committed and you've seen your partner with eyes wide open, it makes it more special.
Cohabitation makes financial sense, but it just didn't feel right for us, and I think I was scared that if I went all in on cohabitation with no promise of 'forever', I might have been reluctant to leave if the relationship went south because I'd feel bad to crawl back to my previous life or feel like I need to stay for the financial codependency.
100% agree! My husband and I also waited until we were married to move in together. It worked for us because:
1) We had been friends for 3 years, then dating for 2 before we got married. If you're paying attention to who your partner is and how they keep their own space, and being honest with yourself about what you can and can't put up with, there shouldn't be any big surprises when you move in.
2) I didn't want to get suckered into the sunk cost fallacy. I've seen lots of friends stay in sub-par or outright bad relationships because they'd already moved in together and didn't have that easy space of their own to retreat to. If you can't afford to live alone, roommates are great.
3) Research actually suggests that people who wait to move in together until at least engagement are happier in their relationships. One explanation is that if you already live together, it's easier to perceive your partner's proposal as happening out of obligation or convenience or social pressure. If you both can easily say No, then your Yes means more. There are other explanations and confounding factors (it's worth considering which populations even choose to get legally married in the first place), but it's a fascinating subject. I highly recommend the Gottman Institute's research into long-term relationships.
Use cases for money + staging areas for investments made me laugh. These two speak like true tech people
Both financially doing very well for 26!!!!
He came from money.
I love these videos! Thanks TFD!!! I would love it if the questions were kept up on the screen during the answers
This just made me sad lol. Her first job was 75k outside of college... Mine was 19k. I still havent reached 75k. I'm 36😢. Definitely made some wrong decisions. And I'm in financial services so I should be a lot further. And yes I'm trying hard everyday. No chance for opportunity coming my way.
Are you in the US?
@@kl8581 yep!
The financial company Vanguard might have some career opportunities for you. A friend of mine recently got hired.
Don’t give up!
They probably work in the tech industry! Also, New Jersey city has a higher cost of living so salaries tend to be higher!
I'm almost *gulp* 50 and I don't male 75k and I'm in a high cost of living state. Hang in there!
Wow is she ever mature! She has her head on her shoulders for sure. Good for them! Cool talk!
It'd be great if TFD interviewed or worked more with people without 'traditional' office jobs, or Monday to Friday jobs. I've always worked in hospitality which is so different from office jobs not only financially but also socially since it often includes working weekends and nights. I've been following TFD for years and I can't help but feel a bit left out. My industry is so unrelatable to this kind of content sometimes.
Thank you for this comment! Stayed tuned for some relevant guests we have coming up on TFC!
I’d love to see folks who went down in financial class as well. I would consider myself that way, my folks are more successful than their children.
I would also love to see that video, that would be fascinating
I really like this format TFD. More please.
i love this format of videosss
I'm kinda jealous of the money they're making, but it's sad how unhappy she seems to be in her job
Yeah unlimited leave is tricky. As much as I have heard from friends having this policy they actually take less leaves than other peer companies where typically 4 weeks vacation is given. Also they informally frown upon using it, but if it’s in policy then it feels less “guilty”. My firm offers that we can buy vacation days beyond the 4 weeks so you technically can take more days if needed
So wise!! I loved this conversation!!
I've always wondered who could afford to live in Hoboken and jersey city now- all my family is from jersey city but gentrification pushed most of them out. Sad none of us can live there now
this conversation format is great! amazing guests as well, love their insight and how open they are. The US is very weird though, 150k salary for people in their 20s... and they don't even feel weird about it
Definitely not normal even for the U.S. They're just more likely to be available/willing for interviews like this than 20-somethings who do shift work, works multiple jobs, has kids, is in school, etc. Hopefully as this series progresses they'll get folks with other income levels and jobs coming in.
(Edited to correct some typos)
Love this series! So great to hear different people’s perspectives!
Would love to hear the finances of some people who are parents in their 20s. Because even though I've only been one for a few years, I feel completely out-of touch with people my age that don't have kids like this.
That said, love the video and the concept here!
That's a great idea
“To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.” ― Kofi Annan 🌬💨
I like this series, I hope in the future we can see this with people across the country.
I think this is a really nice interview! More please with couple or other living arrangements!
Cute couple btw 😊
It’s so unfortunate that our society makes it seem that you need to do stem, medicine, law or core business to be successful. These are great fields if you’re passionate but it’s also very sad that they pay the highest in incomes. Teachers and many other professions contribute similarly or more maybe in some cases, to society, but in the financial success ladder, they don’t reach the same heights.
Loving this series and especially this video
I respect their relationship. Every relationship has to decide what works for them, but I strongly advise that no one decide to get married or engaged before moving in together. It's going to be a very difficult transition to transition into a relationship with someone without considering or evaluating what will change in your relationship once you decide to get married.
This is extremely common in Sweden. By the way. Couples having their own rooms. Having their own places. Married or non married, with children or no children. This is all extremely common especially a couple living in their own place unmarried raising a children co parenting. Life expectancy is higher and ppl report being happier.
Really enjoy this format!
Cool. Interview some poor people next. They could use the money and exposure.
If you heard her story, she WAS poor and now she’s killing it, show some respect.
This channel covers everything, go to another “poor” video then 🤷♀️
@@torontohaze5266 I heard her story, and it sounded exceptional, meaning atypical, or unlikely, even. So while it might sound inspiring, it's not useful advice for anyone. American media is full of these kinds stories, because they paper over the reality that most people will never achieve this level of financial success, no matter how hard they try. But for those of us who have accepted the fact that we are not actually temporarily embarrassed millionaires, some practical advice on dealing with our lived experience would be more helpful than a fluff piece about - and I can't stress this enough - an exceedingly rare exception to the rule.
Would love to see people who do not live in NYC/New Jersey, LA, or San Francisco, please.
I'm happy for them genuinely. My financial situation is far from theirs. I bring home $2000 a month after taxes😢.
I'm sincerely happy for both of these people but I can't wrap my head around the way they talk about money. I was making $45k annually before taxes in my early 20s while taking care of an aging disabled relative *and* a stay-at-home spouse and I considered that "OK." But in this video they call their 6-figure salaries "OK" and mention checking accounts running out of money quickly, and even needing to pay off debts little by little. How??? What are they spending their earnings on? If I made even half of what either of them make I'd be totally debt-free. Maybe the more money you make, the more money you spend.
Great conversation! Cheers from Brazil. :)
Lol 22:45 stack overflow really out here doing the Lord’s work
Great video!
Loved this
Imagine being with someone 3.5+ years and waiting until you're engaged to move in, and then you realize you're incompatible when it comes to cohabitation. Why put off testing this aspect of your relationship until you are engaged?
Because they want to, lol. They already addressed the details of that decision.
Fun fact, couples who move in together before marrying have a higher chance of divorce than couples who move in after they marry.
Because they want to! A lot of cultures outside the USA don’t move in together until marriage and the divorce rate is lower.
Personally my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and I told him I don't want for us to live together unless we are married. Both him and I are in the same boat. We also are the type that only want to marry once. It's been good for us to have our own space because it allows our relationship to grow without the financial pressure and stress of being tied to a lease together. Also it is worth noting that I am also in a financial position where I can afford to live on my own. I've heard of too many couples in which they have an argument and fight or things get ugly/abusive and they become homeless escaping their situation. We definitely have spent time at each others place and we've learned each others habits. When it comes to incompatibility in terms of cohabitation, I think the deeper issue is usually lack of respect of the other person. Ideally your partner would be someone that you respect and they respect you along with fostering good communication skills. My boyfriend and I have found that it's more important to focus on building that type of relationship first before deciding to move in and get married etc.
@@Bibirallie and usually the people who wait til marriage to live together are more religious (and thus why they may divorce at a lower rate). Correlation does not equal causation.
This was very sweet!
Lol it didn’t take long to get out of “working class”.. is this supposed to be inspiring? Just makes me feel depressed..
He didn't even start in the working class. Listen to his story. His was a lateral move.
2k for rent for a single person 😮
Welcome to costal cities! 😅
congrats on a milli!!
I'm in the wrong industry clearly. Been working for 17 years and earn the equivalent of 47 000US$ in my country . and I'm a company director...My salary in my country is considered really good for my industry. LOL!
Do the editors of TFD not math? $139,000 + $151,000 is not > $300,000.
$300,000 is a better title than $290,000 lol
Since they’re in tech, they probably have stock and bonus comp they didn’t list in their salary
@@kerubon2477 Yep.
This recession is most likely the result of an external factor. For the first time in decades, the United States is losing its clout as a federal reserve currency. They don't have any more economies to use to control inflation, and less money is being spent on stock and oil trading than in the past. They all lend support to the idea that a new multilateral world order is in the works.
The question is why should they live together in the first place as an unmarried couple?? 😪
First 🥰🥰
eat the rich. leave no crumbs.
Haven't watched yet, but maybe because they aren't married? Idk call me old-fashioned.
Why does her face look so yellow? Her hands look a different colour. Is this a camera thing?
Yeah the lighting is not great. On him either