Never tell them you are planning to leave them. Do it in silence and be ready not to go back to them no matter what lies they tell you. Be careful and be smart.
@TheCrisNAnissa I agree. My ex locked me out of every account, turn3d the garage door off so I couldn't leave and hid my spare set of keys . He set me and my son out on the street with Nothing and a million miles from home. It took another year to get away but I did it in such a shock n awe it left him furious. He was evicted from our home and served with an order of protection! It's been 2 months qnd I am free!
@@MentalHealness we had a conditional restraining order that allowed us to be together after he got taken in for domestic violence on me, HOWEVER it stayed in place and as soon as i broke up with him and went no contact, i called his probation officer. Blessing in disguise, i guess ❤😅
@@MentalHealnesspeace and STAY SAFE. BELIEVE IT OR NOTI DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE HE WOULD HURT ME. BUT THEN LOOKING BACK, HE DID IN SO MANY WAYS. AND NOW I'M SURE HE WOULD PHYSICALLY HAVE GIVEN THE CHANCE, WHICH IS INSANE, CAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT BEFORE.
Hold them accountable & stand on your boundaries. I parallel parent with one. I don’t engage, we only discuss our child in writing/nothing verbal, if the discussion doesn’t make for an objective outcome- I have no discussion. I literally respond “please state the objective/outcome you wish to achieve from this discussion.” He usually goes away after that because it’s rarely anything objective they wish to achieve- they want supply, access to your life and emotions, power, control.
I went no contact with my ex and his birthday had came around dont you know this man showed up banging on my door to force me to acknowledge his birthday these ppl are nuts smh .
@JustMe-nm2gx 😂 they never care about our birthday at least mine never did i would literally have to tell him you know it's my birthday he would deliberately go all day without saying a word until I said something and then would do the bare minimum if I was lucky.
@sarangtokki2045 of course not i called the police he knew i wouldn't open the door it was more so like a little kid hey look at me look at me your not gonna ignore me especially not on my birthday he was tryna purposely break my boundaries.
I love the idea of the narc ego as glass not steel. Once you know what to look look for, it is clear as day. It can be large but fragile and when damaged, it can hurt you. Going no contact was the best thing I could do for me. I turned off the narc tv, and I stopped shopping for pain. It freed up my life to do the things that make me happy. Best wishes to anyone struggling right now. I still have bad days but my quality of life is 200% better now. It does get better. ❤
Ha! My ex is also paranoid. One day his mom, who I have never talked to reached out to me because he had ghosted the entire family. Well after she dropped me a few gems about him, he found out, demading what i know. I told him not to worry, I wouldn't tell anyone. not even him. He still has no idea, his mom wont even tell him and it drives him nuts. His mom exposed alot of his lies and it is my pleasure having him stress out wondering what the heck it is I know. After that emotional abuse, Karma passed me thr ball. I made her proud. Every once in awhile we get opportunities that we just cant pass up.
My 9yo daughter (his flying monkey) gets her supply by trying to push my buttons. She smirks when I fuss, literally smirks. Then runs to tell him that I chastised her. I cannot grey rock my young child, but I can put better boundaries in place. Working on it❤
He now has his snapchat username as a "woman bashing" song with my birthday added to it 🙄 (only know that because I was in the process of blocking him) not falling for or reacting to the bait. Continuing my almost 2 year no contact 🎉 Thank you Lee
Yup that's why I'm single now thank God my ex narc got caught cheating because he caught and std and when I confronted him about it he tried to unalive me in my car so.be very careful
Lee can you please talk about why AFTER the breakup, the narcissist keeps doing the things that YOU like??! It bothers me so much because it makes me think he misses me
It's all to make you think everything you ever wanted from them, someone else is getting from them, but truth is they getting worse than you cause it's all for your benefit to hurt you...
He mentioned that on one of his vids. Can’t remember which one. He said that they will do all the thinks you wanted to do with him because you are present on his mind. His thinking about you and does not want to so they fool them self thinking his happy with the newie .
@@krissybutler1357see i ask this because his UA-cam log-in is still on my tv and upon looking at his watched videos, i found that he’s been listening to ALL THE MUSIC AND SONGS I like/introduced him to…CONSTANTLY and that bothers me, so he doesn’t know i can see that. Im about to add Mental Healness into his subscriptions 😂
They expose themselves seriously if you wait long enough. His new supply, his old friends, the flying monkeys. He exposes himself and they all see it. They just won't admit it, but once they start to distance themselves. From him, it's quite clear.They got a glimpse of what happens behind close doors
I did this once not realizing that it was an actual tactic and my narc (I think he’s a sociopath) literally started jumping up and down like a toddler yelling ARGUE WITH ME!!!! I put on my headphones and continued to ignore him.
@@TanyaDavis954 He has absolutely no idea where I am, I moved out 4 months ago. Now, he's stopped talking to all of our neighbors, put blinds up in the house and closes the one's on the neighbors side, put a tarp up over the garage door window and put up video cameras and motion lights that shine into the neighbors little girls bedroom all night. He comes home, pulls up to the door and runs into the house - only comes out if none of the neighbors are outside. The neighbors called to ask me if they should be concerned for their safety or their daughters safety because of his crazy behavior and he looks all disheveled. It's creepy and bizarre because he just lerks around. I don't know what to tell them, I haven't spoken to him in months.
@mollykayramstack6193 holy hell that' just triggered me because. When I was living with him, he didn't care about security. Whatsoever at all, I was the one who did. After I moved out, his security cameras everywhere. And it wasn't cause he's scared of me, because i'm harmless
@@mollykayramstack6193 on the contacts, mine has been messaging on and off all week and stalking me via text. I'm obviously ignoring. He has contact with me via our kids. Nightmare. Be safe! Sounds like he's having a major paranoia. And I would just tell the neighbors, yeah, he has major paranoia, so they should have cameras out as well.
I exposed him and then I left him! I HAD NO CHOICE! I begged him to get help and he filed for divorce!! This hurts! When I left I was so happy to be away from him but I made the mistake of talking to him again and it started the hurt all over again!
I was all the supply I removed them one by one and stood until the faucet was turned all the way off. being a recovering narcissist myself I met my male twin through him I was able to heal my own wounds every time I was set off I grew stronger
"You cannot ask someone to be rational when they are COMMITTED to being irrational" I mean committed like Years of the same motive like it was some game. So in the end the only winner is the person who did everything good and bad and in-between. Lessons learned but also knowing you have a more reasonable sense of a real relationship then them. I stay truthful in almost everything i do. I should never expect someone who is programmed to be a hustler and a con artist. I'll be okay, forgot who iam and what j had to offer can't imagine when it's actually reciprocated how much healthier choices I would make. Fuckem
I live for these daily episodes, thanks so much Lee. At times I worry if I am being watched or anything but honestly life goes on. I just have to focus on myself appreciate it. 👌🏾
I was using the technique of grey rock for last months we were together. And while he was watching me be cool and calm he was becoming more freaking crazy with me. He was blaming me because i was trying to confront our problems with calmness.
Definitely some great advice here. This is actually life saving information, because a lot of us second guests ourselves. Unfortunately, the ones who second guess sometimes end up dead.
Lee, can we talk about working with a Narcissistic boss. As an invested employee, we can't up and leave right away. My Narc boss is trying to stop me from moving up within the company 🤦🏽♀️💪🏽🙏🏽
@Menta!Healness Lee- is it possible that a narcissist may also suffer paranoid delusions? Like, fo real? Mine swears he hears things that aren’t there…??😮
Yea not Into that kinda games my life Is not a Playstation video Game, my feelings my safety and my love are not things you can just win. It makes total sense tho thanks.
I KNOW my daughter is his flying monkey. So I give her nothing. She asked me about menopause. So I gave her a long explanation. I don't think she's going to report that back to him. Im pretty low contact with her.
What if the narcissist goes no contact on you and blocked you everywhere? I can't tell whether he's completely done or punishing me but he did say once he sent my money back, we are done and we have broken up multiple times
@MentalHealness he called me today 6x from 3 different numbers after I went on no contact (9 days}. I didn't answer his call, just let it ring. I don't want him back so if I answered, I'm afraid I got sucked in
😂😂gray rock. You are right ! 😮but if I’m in a car with this person what do you do when he try to get an emotional reaction by shouting at me and forcing me to respond. What do you do if they are in a driver’s seat?🤔
Lee, do you mind at some point. Addressing something. Me and my ex are high conflict. The courts are aware. We do pick up and drop offs in a public location. And we don't communicate well even via text for yrs. He constantly is at me with how we should be co.Parenting, what co parents are like. Put downs towards me. It goes on for years and years like this. Just in the past couple days, i've had over twenty text messages with the same scenario of how I should compare what I need to do him telling you what I need to do, how I need to be. So i'm just ignoring it. I never check the messages immediately usually days later. And if I have to respond, I keep the high emotions out. Can you possibly do a video on how to deal with this constant harassment best? I wish I could just turn off my phone completely. I have primary custody, and he has visits for context.
Talk to your lawyer about getting an order. He's harassing you. You aren't obligated to speak to him about anything but scheduling visits or things relevant to the children. If he can't be an adult, he can communicate through your lawyer.
My ex and I also had a high conflict divorce and we have joint custody. I asked my laywer to mandate all communication through a parenting app where the messages were court monitored if need be. I used that for 3 years. Then eventually we got better with communication and conflict dwinded down. We all also went to therapy (separately because he would lie to family therapist in session) and it seemed to help. If your ex is hell bent on arguing let him argue alone. As your children get older they will fully understand who is truly toxic. Best of luck❤
appreciate yo wisdom bro but sometimes you yammer so fast it sounds trivial & mundane & we switch off. Some UA-camrs have passed blogging burnout, but they keep flogging the dead horse. Less is more Lee; quality over quantity
Never tell them you are planning to leave them. Do it in silence and be ready not to go back to them no matter what lies they tell you. Be careful and be smart.
@TheCrisNAnissa I agree. My ex locked me out of every account, turn3d the garage door off so I couldn't leave and hid my spare set of keys . He set me and my son out on the street with Nothing and a million miles from home. It took another year to get away but I did it in such a shock n awe it left him furious. He was evicted from our home and served with an order of protection! It's been 2 months qnd I am free!
@@debbiesweet5152Sending you Light Love and God's Protection 💗 Self Love now. Happy you got away!
Go no contact 😂 that will do the job
stay safe
😂@@MentalHealness
Ego cashing in 3-2-💀😹
This is the only answer.
@@MentalHealness we had a conditional restraining order that allowed us to be together after he got taken in for domestic violence on me, HOWEVER it stayed in place and as soon as i broke up with him and went no contact, i called his probation officer. Blessing in disguise, i guess ❤😅
Very simple, go no contact and say NO.
protect your peace and stay safe
@@MentalHealnesspeace and STAY SAFE. BELIEVE IT OR NOTI DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE HE WOULD HURT ME. BUT THEN LOOKING BACK, HE DID IN SO MANY WAYS. AND NOW I'M SURE HE WOULD PHYSICALLY HAVE GIVEN THE CHANCE, WHICH IS INSANE, CAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT BEFORE.
Hold them accountable & stand on your boundaries.
I parallel parent with one. I don’t engage, we only discuss our child in writing/nothing verbal, if the discussion doesn’t make for an objective outcome- I have no discussion. I literally respond “please state the objective/outcome you wish to achieve from this discussion.”
He usually goes away after that because it’s rarely anything objective they wish to achieve- they want supply, access to your life and emotions, power, control.
Be the opposite of what he expects of you and stick to it. That stops you from going crazy and makes him go crazy.
🙏🏽
💯🎯🤷🏽♀️
Yep! The become obsessed with you then
I went no contact with my ex and his birthday had came around dont you know this man showed up banging on my door to force me to acknowledge his birthday these ppl are nuts smh .
😂😂😂😂😂 this happened to meeee toooooo. & why was my birthday 2 weeks prior and he never said anything to me 💀
Hope you didn't open the door 😕
@JustMe-nm2gx 😂 they never care about our birthday at least mine never did i would literally have to tell him you know it's my birthday he would deliberately go all day without saying a word until I said something and then would do the bare minimum if I was lucky.
@sarangtokki2045 of course not i called the police he knew i wouldn't open the door it was more so like a little kid hey look at me look at me your not gonna ignore me especially not on my birthday he was tryna purposely break my boundaries.
@loyaldior2950 Good for you ❤️ it's always wonderful to see smart women stand up for themselves 💯
I block him on everything plus cash app don't even want no money back from him I'm finish standing on business bout my healing journey
Same! Venmo, Cashapp, personal phone, work phone, LinkedIn... EVERYTHING
Say it Again.. I told him the last time would be the very last time!!
🙏🏽🙏🏽
I love the idea of the narc ego as glass not steel. Once you know what to look look for, it is clear as day. It can be large but fragile and when damaged, it can hurt you.
Going no contact was the best thing I could do for me. I turned off the narc tv, and I stopped shopping for pain. It freed up my life to do the things that make me happy.
Best wishes to anyone struggling right now. I still have bad days but my quality of life is 200% better now. It does get better. ❤
Ha! My ex is also paranoid. One day his mom, who I have never talked to reached out to me because he had ghosted the entire family. Well after she dropped me a few gems about him, he found out, demading what i know. I told him not to worry, I wouldn't tell anyone. not even him. He still has no idea, his mom wont even tell him and it drives him nuts. His mom exposed alot of his lies and it is my pleasure having him stress out wondering what the heck it is I know. After that emotional abuse, Karma passed me thr ball. I made her proud. Every once in awhile we get opportunities that we just cant pass up.
My 9yo daughter (his flying monkey) gets her supply by trying to push my buttons. She smirks when I fuss, literally smirks. Then runs to tell him that I chastised her. I cannot grey rock my young child, but I can put better boundaries in place. Working on it❤
That’s true, the moment I don’t get as reactive, they get angrier.
🙏🏽
He now has his snapchat username as a "woman bashing" song with my birthday added to it 🙄 (only know that because I was in the process of blocking him) not falling for or reacting to the bait. Continuing my almost 2 year no contact 🎉 Thank you Lee
YOU’RE WELCOME
That’s funny😂 keep ignoring him🙏🏾🔥💯❤️🙌
Yup that's why I'm single now thank God my ex narc got caught cheating because he caught and std and when I confronted him about it he tried to unalive me in my car so.be very careful
‼️‼️
Lee can you please talk about why AFTER the breakup, the narcissist keeps doing the things that YOU like??! It bothers me so much because it makes me think he misses me
It's all to make you think everything you ever wanted from them, someone else is getting from them, but truth is they getting worse than you cause it's all for your benefit to hurt you...
i can do that tomorrow mornign
He mentioned that on one of his vids. Can’t remember which one.
He said that they will do all the thinks you wanted to do with him because you are present on his mind. His thinking about you and does not want to so they fool them self thinking his happy with the newie .
Power and control.
@@krissybutler1357see i ask this because his UA-cam log-in is still on my tv and upon looking at his watched videos, i found that he’s been listening to ALL THE MUSIC AND SONGS I like/introduced him to…CONSTANTLY and that bothers me, so he doesn’t know i can see that. Im about to add Mental Healness into his subscriptions 😂
They expose themselves seriously if you wait long enough. His new supply, his old friends, the flying monkeys. He exposes himself and they all see it. They just won't admit it, but once they start to distance themselves. From him, it's quite clear.They got a glimpse of what happens behind close doors
Do you think his friends he’s had since school will see the real him eventually?
@@sambam9129in my opinion, they actually can see through each other! that’s called enabler.. they manipulative to each other
Be up and down and break up with them every other week
‼️‼️
Hahaha
They nasty, just pretend they dont exist, we nothing like them!!!
😫😫
Tell them you don't believe their lies games and B's and take that shit over there to next supply that works too
💯💯
I did this once not realizing that it was an actual tactic and my narc (I think he’s a sociopath) literally started jumping up and down like a toddler yelling ARGUE WITH ME!!!! I put on my headphones and continued to ignore him.
I really think I 💯 did the narcissistic injury... He's crawled into a hole - it's very creepy
Dangerous too.
@@TanyaDavis954 He has absolutely no idea where I am, I moved out 4 months ago. Now, he's stopped talking to all of our neighbors, put blinds up in the house and closes the one's on the neighbors side, put a tarp up over the garage door window and put up video cameras and motion lights that shine into the neighbors little girls bedroom all night. He comes home, pulls up to the door and runs into the house - only comes out if none of the neighbors are outside. The neighbors called to ask me if they should be concerned for their safety or their daughters safety because of his crazy behavior and he looks all disheveled. It's creepy and bizarre because he just lerks around. I don't know what to tell them, I haven't spoken to him in months.
@mollykayramstack6193 holy hell that' just triggered me because. When I was living with him, he didn't care about security. Whatsoever at all, I was the one who did. After I moved out, his security cameras everywhere. And it wasn't cause he's scared of me, because i'm harmless
@@mollykayramstack6193 on the contacts, mine has been messaging on and off all week and stalking me via text. I'm obviously ignoring. He has contact with me via our kids. Nightmare. Be safe!
Sounds like he's having a major paranoia. And I would just tell the neighbors, yeah, he has major paranoia, so they should have cameras out as well.
"I bet they ain't even good parents like fr get help for your child it u ever have one "
I exposed him and then I left him! I HAD NO CHOICE! I begged him to get help and he filed for divorce!! This hurts! When I left I was so happy to be away from him but I made the mistake of talking to him again and it started the hurt all over again!
‼️‼️‼️
I was all the supply I removed them one by one and stood until the faucet was turned all the way off. being a recovering narcissist myself I met my male twin through him I was able to heal my own wounds every time I was set off I grew stronger
You are funny as hell n very true. ❤ I appreciate that.
"You cannot ask someone to be rational when they are COMMITTED to being irrational" I mean committed like Years of the same motive like it was some game. So in the end the only winner is the person who did everything good and bad and in-between. Lessons learned but also knowing you have a more reasonable sense of a real relationship then them. I stay truthful in almost everything i do. I should never expect someone who is programmed to be a hustler and a con artist. I'll be okay, forgot who iam and what j had to offer can't imagine when it's actually reciprocated how much healthier choices I would make. Fuckem
💯💯💯
I live for these daily episodes, thanks so much Lee. At times I worry if I am being watched or anything but honestly life goes on. I just have to focus on myself appreciate it. 👌🏾
Just so funny, access code, 3-2-1, the thing with the hands
- can always make me laugh
I was using the technique of grey rock for last months we were together. And while he was watching me be cool and calm he was becoming more freaking crazy with me. He was blaming me because i was trying to confront our problems with calmness.
Definitely some great advice here. This is actually life saving information, because a lot of us second guests ourselves. Unfortunately, the ones who second guess sometimes end up dead.
Thank you Lee. I am not interested in exposing or hurting this fool. 💯🙏♥♥♥♥♥🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😎
There u go expose them!!👍😀
🙏🏽
Divorce them. Marry them too!
‼️
DISAPPEAR.....💨💨
Appreciate the help
🙌🏾
Can we talk about how they have this third sense whan we moving on & they go & text us 😂
Do.Not.React.
Lee, can we talk about working with a Narcissistic boss. As an invested employee, we can't up and leave right away. My Narc boss is trying to stop me from moving up within the company 🤦🏽♀️💪🏽🙏🏽
How about don’t do that allow them to get whatever our Lord and savior to have his way and stand your ground ❤️🙏🏽🤲🏽
🙏🏽
I appreciate the lesson frfr
I don't even know if he has social media to block. But, since I don't know, I'm only posting jokes and book memes!
@Menta!Healness Lee- is it possible that a narcissist may also suffer paranoid delusions? Like, fo real? Mine swears he hears things that aren’t there…??😮
Good insight
🎯
lol crazy how you used my name 😂 . I’m so sure this is how the narc in my life thinks .
I love that song.!
Yea not Into that kinda games my life Is not a Playstation video Game, my feelings my safety and my love are not things you can just win. It makes total sense tho thanks.
🙌🏾
But then the narcissist try to bait you to make you react or bait you until you react
I KNOW my daughter is his flying monkey. So I give her nothing. She asked me about menopause. So I gave her a long explanation. I don't think she's going to report that back to him. Im pretty low contact with her.
I don't know what gives him his supply. We've been together for 32 years. I just found out about this c***I don't know how to remove the supply
What if the narcissist goes no contact on you and blocked you everywhere? I can't tell whether he's completely done or punishing me but he did say once he sent my money back, we are done and we have broken up multiple times
it really depends. most times it's up to you to end it
The real question is why do you care? Get to the point where you don't care and you'll feel a lot better.
Pretty sure you won't get any money back
@liveandletlive9333 I got it back but it's like pulling teeth to get it back
@MentalHealness he called me today 6x from 3 different numbers after I went on no contact (9 days}. I didn't answer his call, just let it ring. I don't want him back so if I answered, I'm afraid I got sucked in
😂😂gray rock. You are right ! 😮but if I’m in a car with this person what do you do when he try to get an emotional reaction by shouting at me and forcing me to respond.
What do you do if they are in a driver’s seat?🤔
You make sure you're not in the passenger seat.
You don't get in a car with them anymore. Take your own even if going to the same place
Definitely don't let him drive. But if he's driving, you gotta gray rock until you can get out of the situation. Been there.
hahaha 321 pound
🤭🤭
Best explanation ever eeeeh 😂😂😂
appreciate it
Lee, do you mind at some point. Addressing something. Me and my ex are high conflict. The courts are aware. We do pick up and drop offs in a public location. And we don't communicate well even via text for yrs. He constantly is at me with how we should be co.Parenting, what co parents are like. Put downs towards me. It goes on for years and years like this. Just in the past couple days, i've had over twenty text messages with the same scenario of how I should compare what I need to do him telling you what I need to do, how I need to be. So i'm just ignoring it. I never check the messages immediately usually days later. And if I have to respond, I keep the high emotions out. Can you possibly do a video on how to deal with this constant harassment best? I wish I could just turn off my phone completely. I have primary custody, and he has visits for context.
Talk to your lawyer about getting an order. He's harassing you. You aren't obligated to speak to him about anything but scheduling visits or things relevant to the children. If he can't be an adult, he can communicate through your lawyer.
My ex and I also had a high conflict divorce and we have joint custody. I asked my laywer to mandate all communication through a parenting app where the messages were court monitored if need be. I used that for 3 years. Then eventually we got better with communication and conflict dwinded down. We all also went to therapy (separately because he would lie to family therapist in session) and it seemed to help. If your ex is hell bent on arguing let him argue alone. As your children get older they will fully understand who is truly toxic. Best of luck❤
I have to assume he is going crazy cos he is blocked on everything and I have no online profile. Or he just doesnt care.
How do you expose a narcissist?
My kinda video 😂 cause he did that to me 4 to long.
❤
♥️
Blaha you crack me up.
🤭🤭
appreciate yo wisdom bro but sometimes you yammer so fast it sounds trivial & mundane & we switch off. Some UA-camrs have passed blogging burnout, but they keep flogging the dead horse. Less is more Lee; quality over quantity