Dana K White's Decluttering Q&A: 4.23.2024

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  • Опубліковано 22 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 91

  • @karenmiller3771
    @karenmiller3771 9 місяців тому +25

    When my mom died, a wonderful young friend from the church came over to help me go through her clothes for the church clothing closet. (My dad said it would really help him not have to deal it himself).It was a beautiful time of healing for both of us am. We pulled out the best and discarded the rest. We both had memories that came to mind about Mother as we worked through her closet. I kept an item or two. It very honoring to her life. At the end of the day the friend loaded her car with the donations and even the trash bags to her car. She said she'd put the discarded clothes out with her trash so we wouldn't have to see them sitting out the curb later in the week.

    • @Jo-hello
      @Jo-hello 8 місяців тому +5

      That’s so kind of your lovely friend❤

    • @hilarycameron6453
      @hilarycameron6453 8 місяців тому

      B
      😮

    • @trying3058
      @trying3058 19 днів тому

      Your friend was a true blessing! Also for her to be so considerate and take all the items with her was quite empathetic on her part.

  • @isabellerininger6249
    @isabellerininger6249 9 місяців тому +29

    Dana, your method helped me get through our family home once dad passed away. Everything you said is literally how I did it. I walked in and started with easiest stuff first. It took me 2 years(I didn’t have to hurry) but I was better off for going slow and following your steps. I cleaned out food first. Easy peasy. I’d set a timer for 20 minutes and then go home. Otherwise I’d start crying. Eventually my ability to get through it got stronger and I could go more often and got longer. Finding good homes for things made it easier too. Things that were gifts to dad went back to the givers etc. I started a family group text and I’d post a few things each time and winnowed down the quantity that way too.

    • @northstar4851
      @northstar4851 9 місяців тому +1

      Great way to handle an emotional time, and involve family members or friends, with a group text! Brilliant.

    • @mmccready5075
      @mmccready5075 9 місяців тому +1

      That's so heartwarming.

  • @creativelycountry1617
    @creativelycountry1617 9 місяців тому +15

    How to help impulse purchasing using the decluttering steps. Ask yourself “if I needed this item, where would I look for it first”
    If you have no idea LEAVE IT!
    If you have answer, take it there in your mind…does it fit? Is there something else you’d need to get rid of to make room for it?
    Leave it if that’s where those questions led you…
    and finally if you took it there and there’s room (in your mind) still ask….if I needed this item, would it ever occur to me that I have it….?
    If you are honest with yourself in all those steps, and are anything like me…you’ll find you leave 90% of the things you used to call
    Treasures at the thrift store.
    A little sad….ya…but peace at worth it? YES!!!🎉

  • @KM-se4vh
    @KM-se4vh 6 місяців тому +3

    Librarian here: if your library offers hoopla app, Decluttering at the Speed of Life is on it. No holds, no waiting so you and all of your friends can check out the audiobook and ebook at the same time! Also libraries do pay attention to wait lists: that is why they have 17 copies! We pay for each copy on apps like Libby and we buy more if there's more demand.

    • @trying3058
      @trying3058 Місяць тому +1

      Thank you for this very helpful message!

  • @kimperfect2295
    @kimperfect2295 7 місяців тому +6

    You are one of my favorite people to listen to. You’re funny as well as talented.

    • @kimperfect2295
      @kimperfect2295 7 місяців тому

      I saw you back in Columbus, Ohio a couple years back!

  • @lesliehobby7266
    @lesliehobby7266 Місяць тому

    I am at the point in my “take it there now” is putting it in the room I want to make a home for if it’s something I absolutely need/want. Because I am still working on a home for everything. The container concept has changed my life. I’m working on it. Thank you. I tell my friend to watch you all the time.

  • @isabellerininger6249
    @isabellerininger6249 9 місяців тому +12

    Book scenario question: my stepmom did what the advice seeker did by giving away all her stuff (very Swedish death cleaning) to the point of ridiculousness. She hoped to influence my dad to do the same. It backfired and when she finally used her words to confront him he flat out refused to do what she did. She was LIVID! So, the lesson is we can only change ourselves and to be honest with our partners about the shared spaces in the home meeting both persons needs. Maybe the compromise is the book guy is given one whole spare bedroom to turn into a library, if they can agree on that, and that becomes his container. The shared spaces then remain neutral. I’m thinking a professional therapist would need to get involved if she cannot talk to him herself.

  • @GoingGreenMom
    @GoingGreenMom 9 місяців тому +17

    Lol Dana. May I suggest switching the thought process on your garden? Plant some asparagus seeds or some rhubarb or some perennial herbs and flowers for the pollinators. It reduces the space you need to plant each year, but gives you a yield in future years after it gets established. Rhubarb might not work in Texas as I think it needs a cold period, but artichokes are a beautiful purple flowering plant that loves heat. Fruit trees, chives, strawberries, mint (perennial but give it a container or it takes over), maybe citrus trees if you like lemonade.

  • @elaineashley1958
    @elaineashley1958 9 місяців тому +17

    Your advise about the comment with dishes showing up after doing them was so wise! Analogy to laundry 🤯

  • @lucindawilson5510
    @lucindawilson5510 9 місяців тому +13

    Bless you once again ..really great listening to you thanks Dana

  • @bookworm1956
    @bookworm1956 9 місяців тому +29

    To the lady whose husband collects books: books can be the biggest identity clutter ever. It's the case in my family (my parents in particular). I got over it by moving to a different country twice. It forces you to keep that down.... It's really hard to tell someone else that their identity stuff is clutter. However, you can totally negotiate where to put them. For example, "all books need to live on designated book shelves". He can have one out somewhere random, plus a couple more on his bedside table. But it's okay to say you don't want them on the kitchen counter for example.
    The quantity of designated book selves is another question altogether. In my family, there were bookshelves on all available walls, including above doors and in staircases. But tables (other than desks) were off limit.
    Also, totally unrelated, you could start a campaign to support your local library, get him to come along, and get books that have to be given back. 😁

    • @kaylabower546
      @kaylabower546 9 місяців тому

      P lo 009

    • @bookworm1956
      @bookworm1956 9 місяців тому

      @@kaylabower546 sorry, I do not understand.

    • @susanprice3377
      @susanprice3377 9 місяців тому +1

      My family has limited the accumulation of books by implementing what we call the library rule: any books that are available in any English-language library don't need to be kept. We do make exceptions, but very few -- aiming to cut down 5-7 bookcases (2-3 are 4x7 feet!) to maybe 2. My son's gaming room is another matter, but that's the basement, and a compilation of 4 people's game resource libraries.

    • @AmeliaUnleashed
      @AmeliaUnleashed 9 місяців тому +1

      Agreed! I’ve had to peel back the 🧅 layers of books over different identities. Childhood, teenager, university student, theologian, teacher, mother… so many identities tossed up in those books! 😂 I really found having 1-2 designated “book shelves” helped a lot. The container is the bad guy and we have to make the books fit in there. That means pruning out those books we don’t really thrill us, or that we don’t read or will never read again. Those are most likely “fantasy self”, “past self” or sentimental. 😅 There are even books you’ve purchased that will never be read because the timing was not right… so out they go! Now I’m obsessed with my Kindle and love that I can keep the bookshelf cleared but the habit of reading full to the brim!❤❤❤

  • @Usepen
    @Usepen 8 місяців тому +2

    God bless you for this work! Thank you 👍💕

  • @hollyb4535
    @hollyb4535 9 місяців тому +11

    I love that you say that actually bringing the stuff to the donation centre or sitting down and posting the stuff for sale is a valid use of decluttering time. That, along with trying to get 2 garbage bags (our maximum for weekly pick up where we live) and/or collecting whatever recycling is around the house the day before garbage day.... has made such a difference. It is great to collect things to get rid of, but you really feel the freedom by dropping it off or getting it out!

  • @SamCurtis-yk8cv
    @SamCurtis-yk8cv 9 місяців тому +39

    My husband always left his snack trash on his side table until I put a small plastic container under his table. Now at least it’s not on the table. Woohoo. lol. He uses it always🙌🏼

    • @CalmVibesVee
      @CalmVibesVee 9 місяців тому +5

      That is Brilliant! I love it!
      In my experience I find that making things extremely simple easy to use for order is the way to success. Wisdom that has come to me thru experience and prayer is to use the least amount of words possible and zero mothering tone. Just respect and honorable words. Never point out or imply any wrong doing with a man. That is for a male leader and God alone. We stay in our lane. This takes practice, wisdom, and the strength of the Lord. I cheer everyone on. I love this channel and the comment section community, it helps me so much. 🙏🏼💕 Im so grateful for this modern day support system we can find online.

    • @daytonvalleydeals6056
      @daytonvalleydeals6056 9 місяців тому +4

      ​@@CalmVibesVeeI really needed this reminder! I've been married almost 30 years and I need to remember not to correct him. 😢 thanks

    • @marycorriston5090
      @marycorriston5090 9 місяців тому +5

      Tell your husband to take his own trash out to the kitchen. Your are not his personal maid.

    • @grogers511
      @grogers511 9 місяців тому +3

      I do this with my husband too. I figure out ways to make things work for both of us. He DOES a lot. And, he’s generally very organized. Plus, I have my own things he could call me on. I gave him a trash can. I gave him a wooden oval bowl to dump his pockets into. I gave him hooks for his jacket and cap. He’s trained me to turn off lights and to clear the dryer lint trap before each load like he does. Next - I’m thinking of buying a car seat organizer for the stuff around his recliner that lands on the nearby sofa and loveseat. I’m hoping he can use it to stash his reference books, snacks, etc.

    • @cheerfulmouse
      @cheerfulmouse 9 місяців тому

      I've learned that when I can also remind him that if what we have doesn't work for him, I'm willing to change it, so it does.
      I recently put some bathroom stuff of his in a container.
      Sent him a picture, and said, please try it out & LMK if it doesn't work!
      He did like this one though.

  • @SueSniffles
    @SueSniffles 9 місяців тому +8

    If someone gave me a bag of hand me downs/fabric, think I would say thanks but on the way home I would see if there is anything I needed and what's left I would drop it off in a drop off bins for clothing. The excess never gets to the house.

    • @ambermazmanian2695
      @ambermazmanian2695 9 місяців тому +2

      Ooh good idea! You're a pro doing it ON THE WAY HOME!

  • @HappyHarryX5
    @HappyHarryX5 9 місяців тому +5

    If you live with someone who takes over decluttered spaces, and you are doing it to feel in control, know that that’s your stress levels giving you a wake up call. Look at how stress affects you emotionally and physically. Narcissists will see a space and want to control it so you feel like you don’t have space in your own home making you feel even more unwelcome. Be careful raising issues around a narcissist (I’m not saying all hoarders are narcs, nothing like it) as accountability will trigger their mean streak and even designating them a space may have them mocking you under their breath and resenting you in grunts.

  • @northstar4851
    @northstar4851 9 місяців тому +1

    The important part is how YOU FEEL after the downstairs area is finished for the day. Progress not perfection. Also, if you’re able to put away what went upstairs before you come downstairs the next morning, that’s a complete job! All you did is add an extra step or two. Does hubby also take away the donations and trash soon, so none of it comes back in? Fantastic work 😊

  • @HappyHarryX5
    @HappyHarryX5 9 місяців тому +4

    Lost value guilt is fleeting and then you take in a deep breath and enjoy the empty space or the more functional thing there. During the divorce I donated the plain awful TV cabinet and popped the TV on the console table and haven’t regretted it. I weigh up how the space will be used and rather have intentional pieces than just the stuff that’s always been there. There will only be so much guilt from now on as once you get rid of stuff, you’ll be more mindful of the stuff you bring in and sure there’ll be a mistake here and there but you’ll acknowledge it and plot a course of action for it. Since making some functional pieces for my home, I’ve found I’m getting back into the tidy and declutter habits I had when I was a teen and it’s awesome to not have stuff around that hinders how I want to live. The stress is disappearing.

  • @Rosa-kf6yy
    @Rosa-kf6yy 9 місяців тому +1

    Cant wait for all day declutter! :)

  • @bonnieinthespirit6373
    @bonnieinthespirit6373 9 місяців тому +12

    When I choose to purchase , I ask myself- do I need this? Where am I going to store this? How long will I have to look at it, take care of it? Do I want to ? Well I decluttered .. my threshold is less is better! I don’t want to take care of it! So I don’t purchase.

    • @no_peace
      @no_peace 9 місяців тому +2

      I don't have the ability to realize i should do a conscious decision making process like that but when I buy something I pull on the trauma of having had to dehoard my apartment and give away or throw away perfectly good stuff that i could hardly afford. I never want to do it again

  • @kimperfect2295
    @kimperfect2295 7 місяців тому

    I’m doing your black bag clutter method. Love it!

  • @AmyIddins
    @AmyIddins 6 місяців тому

    I finally switched to Kindle for reading books which take up so much space and adding to the clutter.

  • @TheDriftwoodlover
    @TheDriftwoodlover 9 місяців тому +1

    I never did any of the TYHB coursework but the all-day declutters were worth the cost!

  • @connied8507
    @connied8507 9 місяців тому +14

    Bringing more stuff in I call retail therapy. It's a bad habit of the whole family. I'm slowly replacing retail therapy with better habits that give me an endorphin hit. I'm learning to paint using the container concept. I can easily see how many supplies I have.

    • @creativelycountry1617
      @creativelycountry1617 9 місяців тому +2

      Yes, something that has helped me, as I declutter, I have a “project bin” I put things in. So when someone is bored, Or just kinda looking for something to do, they go to that bin. It’s mostly craft type things. Finishing them is fun!!! And ones that sit in the bin for months…go…clearly no one actually wanted to do them!

  • @janethunt4037
    @janethunt4037 9 місяців тому

    This morning I only had a few minutes to work on my closet. I set the timer for 7 minutes, and I got the floor all picked up and put away.

  • @privateinfo1711
    @privateinfo1711 9 місяців тому +2

    If I refuse something my mother wants to give me, I get to hear how someone else appreciates things. Since accepting an item involves rules and regulations, I just say I dont have room.

  • @wildrose070
    @wildrose070 9 місяців тому +2

    Regarding the person who was receiving nice things as gifts from another person's home: If most are approximately the same size, would you be able to designate a space in your home to display the most current gift? When you are given a new gifted item just replace the old one with the new one and quietly donate the old one.

  • @sflasaint811
    @sflasaint811 8 місяців тому +1

    Everytime my Sis offers me something or I offer her anything we both say No! and laugh. They are beautiful things but we both are constantly decluttering and have no problem donating items.

  • @e-r2961
    @e-r2961 9 місяців тому

    Thank you!

  • @nataschalorez8885
    @nataschalorez8885 9 місяців тому +8

    The 5 step program doesn't work for me because of limitations.
    Everything works, besides the "take it there now".
    Because if I follow that, I can maybe declutter, throw away or put away one or two things a day.
    And I don't want it to take years to get my house done.
    I have so many physical problems that I can't keep taking things to here and there constantly.
    I follow the rest of the program though.
    The only difference is i have to take everything out and make piles.
    One for things that need to be in that specific cupboard or drawer, and one for things that need to go somewhere else. And I have a bucket for trash next to me.
    Everything that needs to stay there, goes back in after it's empty.
    The stuff that needs to go somewhere else, goes to the right place after I am done. That way I only have to walk once.
    Unless it has to go upstairs. Then it goes into a laundry basket for my husband to take upstairs when he gets home.
    Because due to my limitations I can only do stairs once a day (in the morning to go down, at night to go up)
    I wish I could follow the program completely, becaue I don't like to see stuff in piles.
    But unfortunatly I haven't got a choice.

    • @ludwigvonmiseswasright4380
      @ludwigvonmiseswasright4380 9 місяців тому +3

      Do you have a goal of finding a new loving arrangement? Or moving your bedroom downstairs?

    • @MomGetsMoney
      @MomGetsMoney 9 місяців тому +7

      As long as you put away the piles, you’re doing great! Don’t worry the method is just her recommendations, but you need to adjust to what works for you

    • @annblachly8068
      @annblachly8068 9 місяців тому +2

      I did not read you having a donate box. Be careful of not just stuff shifting. I say this because if you aren't taking the stuff to the place where you would look for it first, it's not jogging your brain to ask, 'Would I even remember I had this?'
      Do you have a young relative or two who could be your legs? Grandchildren, nephew or nieces? for a few hours on a weekend day? Or after school for a couple hours and pay them, to ensure they take the job seriously.
      Could you afford an online Declutter Coach in Dana's method to help jog your thinking, even if the stuff is designated in containers for someone else to take upstairs later?
      Continue to think of positive ways to implement what needs done. If you get brainstorms of items you know need to be donated, could you write them out for hubby to collect, box up and get out quickly?

    • @rubybrambleburr1629
      @rubybrambleburr1629 9 місяців тому +3

      Sounds like you have adapted Dana's system to.suit your own needs and challenges!

  • @nancycarolm6849
    @nancycarolm6849 9 місяців тому

    My spare room was covered with book shelves. I inherited my grandfather's rolltop desk. I had to get rid of books. It is gorgeous.

  • @nene6193
    @nene6193 8 місяців тому +1

    For the person that’s struggling with her clutter prone husband , I feel your pain !!😢

  • @StarrREVA
    @StarrREVA 9 місяців тому +5

    For the first question, I would also suggest asking your husband why the books are put there. Maybe you need to allow that spot to be his container. Also, maybe tell him your idea "I want this sideboard to be a place for minimal decor, doesn't it look nice like this?"

  • @maria_w311
    @maria_w311 9 місяців тому +3

    Yearbooks- send a quick email to the school and local librarians.

    • @mssixty3426
      @mssixty3426 9 місяців тому +3

      Yes! I found my father-in-law's Junior high picture in a yearbook at our local library.

  • @SharonThomas-h6o
    @SharonThomas-h6o 9 місяців тому +5

    My husband has a “man cave” in the house. I clean and declutter every room in the house except that room. It’s such a mess I can’t stand to go in there. He says it’s his space and to not worry about it. How should I handle this

    • @sorbabaric1
      @sorbabaric1 9 місяців тому +19

      Don’t worry about it. Keep the door closed. Also, it’s not any of your responsibility to clean it. His room, his responsibility. As long as it doesn’t pose a hazard, for example, fire safety or pests.

    • @kendratai
      @kendratai 9 місяців тому +11

      My husband is the same way. I've been decluttering for about a year and my husband surprised me and dealt with his area on his own. I don't clean in there anymore. I told him he was on his own. He saw how nice the rest of the house was and got motivated to deal with his!

    • @michelesusanne1
      @michelesusanne1 9 місяців тому +1

      For Mother's Day or your Birthday, ask him to declutter and tidy it, as a gift to you 😊

    • @Smithpolly
      @Smithpolly 9 місяців тому +3

      It sounds like he wants to keep it as his man cave and he may be concerned that if he tidies up, you'll start using the room.

    • @bethpiercebaker2322
      @bethpiercebaker2322 9 місяців тому +3

      Don’t worry about it.

  • @autumntrimble2102
    @autumntrimble2102 9 місяців тому +2

    I’m not sure if UA-cam did it on its own, but ads literally every 3 minutes in a video is too much for me to handle. 😅Only made it halfway through

    • @katie7748
      @katie7748 5 місяців тому

      Yep. That's screwtube for ya! Fun, right? NOT lol

  • @mermeow
    @mermeow 9 місяців тому +2

    To the purrson that couldn't see all the comments...were you in Top Chat purrgatory? 😹

  • @antheaphillips5679
    @antheaphillips5679 9 місяців тому +1

    Does the Take Your House Back course change or get updated each year? If I can’t get it this year will it be different next year?

    • @DanaKWhite
      @DanaKWhite  9 місяців тому +4

      Other than the addition of more q&as and all day declutters, it’s the same course.

  • @charlenedrake8862
    @charlenedrake8862 9 місяців тому +1

    Is it too late to sign up for the TAKE MY HOUSE BACK…

    • @DanaKWhite
      @DanaKWhite  9 місяців тому +1

      Today is the last day of the sale!! Https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/take

  • @debbieostrowski4923
    @debbieostrowski4923 9 місяців тому +1

    ??TYHB what does DM mean

    • @no_peace
      @no_peace 9 місяців тому +1

      Direct message

  • @carriepinkduck
    @carriepinkduck 9 місяців тому +7

    The "addicted to books" one sounded so judgmental. That phrasing is very negative in my opinion. She sounds like she is decluttering to prove a point and not to just make her home more manageable.

    • @RU-rf5bk
      @RU-rf5bk 14 днів тому

      If there are bookshelves for the books, or they can be stored somewhere, why get rid of them? Out of everything people could possibly have that are cluttering up their homes, books, to me, are the last item I would be concerned with. Ridiculous complaint imo.

  • @karenbanas206
    @karenbanas206 8 місяців тому +2

    Hey Dana I truly love you I have really gotten my house down to a semi-manageable level and you always talk about dishes I am not trying to be an ass in anyway however I truly don’t understand what the dishes thing is I don’t understand why you would put dishes in the sink why would you not immediately rinse them after dinner and put them in the dishwasher if you have a dishwasher I understand if you don’t it may be a little more challenging but I don’t understand why you would put dishes in the sink if you just rinse them and put them in The dishwasher and i will say no one in my family does this except for me so constantly if I see a dish in the sink i rinse it and I put it in the dishwasher I do not allow dishes to be in the sink I have a problem grasping the concept of the dishes thing why are their dishes piled up in the sink rinse them and put them in the dishwasher immediately I don’t understand I’m not trying to be a jerk can you maybe enlighten me or explain at some point in one of your videos. I’m still struggling with this with my family because they don’t do it but I do it so there’s never dishes in my sink ever. I feel that this is a non-negotiable this is what you do they are not allowed to pile up in the sink is this just a mindset that I have done it’s so much easier if you just directly put them in the dishwasher I don’t understand why someone would let it get to be pile up. Thank you so much I have purchased all of your books and they have been very helpful

  • @lanach6456
    @lanach6456 9 місяців тому +2

    Help!!!! Do you think it's ok to buy this course for somebody else ( my bff)? Sale end tomorrow, so I need to decide today.

  • @you-tube-user-minimal
    @you-tube-user-minimal 9 місяців тому +2

    THIS JUST IN: Dollar Tree in my area no longer sells baskets, bins and other storage containers (due to inflation). Plus our 99 cent stores are all closing and going out of business!

    • @you-tube-user-minimal
      @you-tube-user-minimal 9 місяців тому

      OOPS! I made a mistake about Dollar Tree, but I was RIGHT about 99 Cent Stores.