Best Friend Roommate Agreement 📃
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- Опубліковано 6 лис 2024
- Just signed a lease with my best friend, and we're officially roommates! While we’re super excited, we’re also learning that a successful roommate relationship needs more than just a love for pizza and movies. From creating a clear guest policy and chore chart to discussing quiet hours and pet rules, we’re making sure to cover all the essentials for a smooth and fun living situation/
this is honestly why so many relationships fall apart after moving in together. you don't *truly* know someone unless you share a living space with them
yeah if i decide to move in with a friend i really want to have this type of conversation about how things would work and what we want so that there arent misunderstandings
For real. I had a very easy and respectful roommate agreement and everyone was so chill with it, until I started struggling and my boyfriend picked up the slack for me (as you do in a relationship) and the others decided to ignore half the rules and at one point, one of everyone’s mutual friends burned his house down and brought his cat over and he lived on our couch… and then I was the bad guy cause I lost it first, bc I was the one being completely disrespected while I was the primary reason we had a roof over our head and an apartment filled with everything we needed and all I asked for was to be respectful to the people you live with in our already overcrowded apartment and to keep it clean and to be respectful about having guests and the other 2 in the apartment decided they could do whatever they wanted and steal from my bf and I, the guy who moved onto our couch also stole from us….
Yep its true many friendship fall apart after staying in hostels
Bruh no way am I gonna move in with a friend and have that many restrictions. Only move in with someone you know has respect for you and speak up if something comes up.
My boyfriend and I set up a weekly (ok realistically more like monthly now) meeting where wed discuss things. It actually helps a lot haha. We look at when we last did something fun together and then plan something if we haven't for a while. We look at how things are going chore wise and who could do what it it didn't work out. We straighten up our financials (bc we have a shared bank account but also individual ones, so we make sure everything is in order), and we talk about anything else that comes up that's bothering us or that we should get looked at in the house.
Also when we just moved in together we did discuss things about ppl coming over for instance. But we're both introverts so we were kinda on the same page that we never want to randomly have someone sitting on the couch when we come home so we always discuss it haha.
When i moved in with my best friend we briefly talked about some of these things then emphasized to be honest if there was something bothering us. It definitely helped that we were both super laid back and had similar cleaning habits. Actually made our friendship a lot closer and we were roomies for 3 years
honestly with the who gets the bigger room often defaults to two things
- Who spends more time at home at home
- Who pays more in rent, or utilities
just dont go sheldon level room mate agreement lol
Thats very understandable- but a little agreement is still nice !
I was literally checking the comments for this exact comment 🤣😂🤣😂
But a bathroom schedule planned to the minute is what everyone wants...
I was thinking exactly same thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sheldon came to mind first immediately she said roommate agreement. 😊
Moving in with my best friend next year and we've already gone over all of this - we are VERY similar people and we both have strong boundaries so nothing was a problem. We also decided I'd get the smaller bedroom as I make less money than him and need to pay less in rent. Very excited!
Good luck
Wishing you the best of luck!!
Good luck! And that's great you both talked it all out. Just make a rule that once a month you both sit down and discuss any issues that are happening or talking about the next month of what you both need done.
I made the mistake to move-in with my best friend temporarily years ago. Ended-up leaving after a month and a half. I started loosing my hair in clumps while living with her and stopped talking to her for 6 months afterwards. Luckily, we were able to fix things and she is still my best friend. We were just not made to live with each other, especially during that time of our lives.
Yeah, I kinda always knew I could never live with one of my best friends 😅 we'd be at each other's throats within days or maybe even hours. We're yet to go on holiday together and see how that goes. But lived with another friend of mine (plus two more roommates) and that went absolutely fine.
having regular meetings that are dedicated to talking abt events that effect the household is a great idea.
I dont know how good it is, but one solution for the bedroom situation heard is to bid for the rooms. Whatever you bid is how much of the rent youll pay each month. Get the rent and divide by number of rooms. Start with that number and the biggest room, once bidding is done that person gets that room. Then repeat with the remaining rent and remaining number of rooms
You could also do it so that the persoon with the bigger/better room pays a larger portion of the rent
Me getting the smallest room with less rent knowing I wanted the smaller room all along 😎
@@jacolinelankamp1752 That's exactly the point of this. You take average rent per room and start bidding there for the biggest room, so the bigger the room, the higher the bidding will go.
i love that idea
Thats over complicated, just get ur total m² and divede em by ur rent, so u get the cost per m², then meassure the rooms, and thats it, yall pay each others rooms, and dive on half the rest of it
I have matching tattoos with my childhood, longtime best friend. We moved into a studio apartment together, first time ever living away from home. We are no longer in each other’s lives. Found out she’s crazy ❤ took me 15 years to realize
Lol. Had the same experience with my high school best friend. Moved in with her in our mid 20's
She wouldn't clean and then blame the mess on me, invited several boyfriends over to live with us against our lease, adopted too many cats (again against our lease), got hair dye all over her bathroom and expected me to just not get our security deposit because of it. The list goes on and on. Those are the tame things.
@amandacarlton3032
What are the wild things?
same thing just happened to me😭 i should have listened when everyone said not to room w ur best friend
Why?
@@amandacarlton3032And the wild??
one of the things i learned in a residential psych ward is how to share a room with someone you don't know. who gets what shower time, how clean do we keel it, who fixes the room after room sweaps, what to do if someone has a breakdown, do you share snacks and all that jazz
Honestly this. It’s much easier to make and enforce boundaries with someone you don’t know or kinda know.
I mean. What to do if someone has a breakdown really only is a thing with mentally ill and or neurodivergent people.
I've definetly had to give an ex rules about how to treat me mid breakdown and that I will only talk it through the next day.
Didn't speak to my best friend who I grew up with for FIVE years after college because we were roommates in a dorm. Came up with a chore chart with my very next roommate and oh my god the difference! People who came over made fun of it but it really helped keep both of us on track and accountable to ourselves too since we both liked things clean but had busy schedules! We also put our campus events on it so we could go and support each other and it ended up being a fun little roommate meeting every month
THIS.... People really find it hard to just communicate amd wonder why relationships and friendships don't last
When I was in college freshman years I saw two roommates who were friends since childhood fall apart because of stuff like this. It was honestly sad
Chanberry??
🤣 when my brother and I went looking for apartments my now boyfriend who worked with us at the time was looking too.
The ONLY reason I jumped to include him was because I compared our lifestyle, likes and dislikes, and time schedules. And then wrote out a “contract” that all of us discussed and agreed on. We started with a year lease just to see if we could live with each other and it turned out great!
When eventually he became my boyfriend I made sure to ask my brother if he was comfortable with that AND make it clear to my boyfriend that I won’t ditch my brother for him.
Can confirm it’s been working out for almost 3 years.
This was definitely good advice
Live with my 2 bestfriend during college for almost 4 years. We never fight and still close as ever. It just so happens that we have similar lifestyle and standard, no rigid rules or chore chart
My roommate and I just communicated like "hey i was thinking about having a could friends over, i know you work tomorrow so it's it okay if they stay until like 10?" Or "hey i noticed you left some dishes in the sink after you cooked dinner yesterday, can you take care of them this afternoon so the kitchen is clean when i come home to cook dinner?" "Hey your boyfriend got high and ate my whole box of gushers, i need one of you to buy me a new box because i only ate one package out of it before he got to it" (that last one was a true story) but we lived together, with both of our boyfriends, for 2 years successfully before it started to feel cramped and I decided to move out, signed the lease over to her and her boyfriend and they still live there
That’s the beauty of becoming best friends with someone you got to know while being roommates (such as shared uni housing). You already know each others living habits, and what is and isn’t compatible about it; so you already have a solid foundation to build off of if you do decide to live together again.
absolutely, and you get to grow together 🫶
My best friend and I genuinely almost strangled eachother the first year. I was not expecting that. Totally would have done roommate meetings and even a chore chart if I knew what was going to happen.
I know my friend and I would be perfect roommates cause we fall into complementary patterns when we sleepover at each others houses. Never had as much fun cooking as i did at her place, and by the time I was done, she had done all the dishes i finished using. Next morning while she was making breakfast, I made the beds. If I do have a roommate, she'd be my #1. But I think we understand each other a lot better than most might before moving in together
Same!!
the guest policy was discussed first year living together. and then we never discussed it again. we are no longer friends (one of the many reasons) bc i did not consent to the men she brought over. i once found him looking through her stuff and my door stayed locked after hat.
Doing this is a live saver! I started living with roommates since last year and the agreement has made it so much easier
Y’all are so particular it’s funny and serious 😭😭🤚🏻
Not really. Would you rather tell your roommate that you'll flip out if the lights are on after 10:30 before moving in together or flip out because the lights are on after 10:30?
I was roommate with my best friend for 4 years, it was fun:) separate bathrooms and AC is important 😂
Never move in with your best friend. I don't talk with this friend anymore
damm
I heard « roommate agreement » and my brain immediately went « BIG BANG THEORY «
SOOOO TRUE I WAD LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT!!
Sheldon core
Sheldon would agree with you. Me too
This would help my anxiety very much in that situation
I lived with my friend for a year, then I moved out of dorm partly because I wanted my own room and partly because I couldn’t tell her I wanted a new roommate, we were so incompatible as roommates but we’re still good friends.
I have lived with my best friend for six years and we never had this kind of formal talk - lots of rules can create conflicts as well. The best thing you can do to live peacefully is to prioritize social time together. It’s easier to navigate everyday conflicts if you remember what you like about someone, and you can be gracious about small inconveniences.
Had to learn this one the hard way. 😮💨
Thankfully my roommate and i now sat down properly and often still do to talk about things. We have a clear definition of our personal spaces vs shared spaces and luckily have a lot of similar preferences. But the arguing is inevitable fs. As similar as we are, we bicker a lot.😂
Yes! This is honestly how to do it people!
This is so true. My bf and I decided our main roles in our apartment and the amount of rent we pay. We consistently communicate as well if anything changes about our situation or if we want to change roles or literally anything. We’ve lived together for over 2 years now and have been dating 2 1/2
This is so true, and this should be discussed early!
My roommate has her bf come over all the time, and my friends come over every now and then.
I handle all the chores.
We share almost all of our food, but we make it clear to each other if there is something we want to ourselves, such as ice cream, juice, or potato egg salad.
And we don't ever fight cause we just agree with pretty much everything and constantly have fun. She gets upset with me sometimes and texts me about it, like one time I threw up everywhere because I drank too much, but she's very understanding.
She has the bigger room cause she has more stuff, but we honestly don't care, as long as everything fits nicely.
The way her and I do things might not work for everyone, but it definitely works for us
No no no, you ask for a roommate agreement. They say no. You pay the full rent solo for two months and when you ask them to pay half they freak out and then grow to resent you for not paying all their bills like normal adults. 😂
Literally this I'm stuck in the worst roommate situation for the next 10 months because this wasn't done, please learn from my tales of woe. Please.
I def agree on the roommate meeting. I have this with my roommates once a month as well. Could be an intentional time to hang out after the meeting as well!
I thought i would have these issues, but turns out, both me and my best friend are introverts that just stay in their rooms, we both clean up after ourselfs so theres never any mess, both rooms were exactly the same size and we are both incels who havent touched a girl in 5+ years so no issues on visits either, turned out perfect for both of us
I totally agree.....I lived with my best friend for almost a year without a roommate agreement.That friendship has long died😅. Boundaries are important.
First thing that came to my mind was Sheldon with his roommate agreement and I already assumed the worst. 😂
So true 😮🔥🤌
Thanks for this, i plan on moving in with a friend at some point so i will refer back to this when that time comes
I wish i had seen a video like this 3years back. It's been 2 years and me and my best friend haven't even heard about each other.
I could not agree more, to live with a stranger and befriend them is better to disclose bad traits with your friend.
Well, my bff and I plan on sharing a flat 1 day. We already did on a trip 4 2 weeks. It was fun. We had a few rules. If we disagreed with something or didn't feel comfortable, we'd talk it out. She's calmer than me, so she'd notice my mood change and sit me down to talk. I'm not the type of person who will share their problems with anyone easily. She's quite the opposite. And that's basically the whole dynamic of our friendship. Obv, I'll never get mad at her 4 no rsn. Only sometimes, but it lasts 4 like 10-20 mins and I'm over it.
Learned this the hard way... Lost a close friend after we lived together. Avoid living with friends if possible honestly.
For the room size thing, the person who has the bigger room pays slightly higher for rent. When I got the bigger room, I paid an extra $100 for the extra space
And that’s why I don’t live with my friends. If my roommates become my Fri then that’s great, but not the other way around.
Me and my roommate had to have this convo before I moved in. We let eachother know before someone comes over, we agree that chores are clean up after yourself and dont attract bugs, if one of us is uncomfortable with a person being over thier not allowed, big room means more rent to pay, my bathroom is the hallway bathroom so my permission is needed for people to use it, and pets are a discussion before looking to adopt.
sounds like a really productive conversation!
Thank you for your tips.im really need it because next month I have to move to rent house with others cause not getting into hostel. I'm really thinking about how to manage a lot of things.
My BFF and I had a 6pg typed agreement before we moved in together. It was pretty vague about things like guests & quiet hours because we had trialed living together and knew we generally aligned on things. The most explicit rule was that if you broke something that held data, like a stick with an essay or saved over a file on her Playstation, you not 9nly owed the money to replace the item, but also would have to pay the other minimum wage for the time it took to recreate the data.
my sister lost her closet friend when they moved in together. (they'd been friends since 2nd grade)
I think this is also works for marriage or couple who decides to live together. I thinks it's good to follow this.
Im saving this video rn
My best friend and I were roommate. We never fought. Everything was cool. I got the bigger bedroom bc I deserve it.
Yep, had to learn this the hard way.
I let my friend bulldoze me and it still wasn't enough. She wanted the bigger room, ok. She didn't think it was fair that she paid $75 more for it...even though my room barely fit my bed and hers fit 2 full size dressers, a big rat cage, her bed with room on either side, AND she still had space for an extra storage caddy and bigger closet...oh ok...Her ex needed a place to stay for a while. Weird but ok I guess?...he slept on our couch for MONTHS. She would also get mad at me for not doing the dishes or making HER dinner even though she barely worked, and I had to cover her portion of rent. I also bought the majority of our groceries/household items but she was still always broke.
Oh but I bring a guy I'm dating around for a week and suddenly she's tantrumming like a toddler. Should've clued in when she refused to call it our place when speaking to me ~ no it was only 'her' place even though we were both on the lease. And y'all that wasn't even all of the drama lmao!
Never again, but hey, at least I realized what a NIGHTMARE of a person she was sooner rather than later.
What happened you still with that evil person 😢
I moved in with 2 besties and it's been perfect. We all agree we have 2 of the best roommates ever. I got the bigger room but next time we move it goes to one of the other two. None of us are neat freaks but we keep the space picked up and clean. We don't cook very much outside of the airfryer and 2 of us get most of our food at work. It's really a wonderful arrangement and we have zero complaints. Move in with people you deeply vibe with that's all I can say. If one of my roommates is still single in their 50s I might marry one of these bitches 😂
My sister toke me into depression and severe anxiety because she can't respect other ones and act like she can do whatever she wants just because thinks has the rights to do it being that it's "her home" (or better my parents home, but unfortunately you can't evict from home your daughter even if its an adult)
My friend and I have had a couple opportunities where we might have been roommates, but but each time the circumstances just barely didn't line up. It was probably for the best because we're still friends. 😊
my best friend and i did a less official version of this when we stayed in a dorm our freshman year of college. our relationship survived unscathed 👍 we actually would've roomed together again this year were it not for financial issues (dorms are expensive at our university) so we're staying at home.
My roommate and I are really close friends. I lead a clear communication policy in our apartment that has been working wonders for the past two years. We are now getting a new roommate, and I think this will keep working out well.
amazing! this is what we love to see
My best friend and I had an hours long run down and a rule list full of compromises. We even planned parties together, so they worked out for both of us.
It is so important to know a person very well before moving in together i started the college with 7 of us living in hostel now we are moving into a apartment but guess what it's only 3 of us because the friendship didn't survive while living together for a year . The three of us are very similar ahd have similar and strong boundaries so there isn't a issue with us living together
My college roommate became my best friend. We lived together all 4 years and are still besties a decade later ❤
Me and my friend are very close we have the interests and same plans for dorm and apartment life. But he doesn't date at all and I do. So the guest policy is a great help. He's getting the bigger room because he's never had his own big room. And I have a cat and he's always wanted a pet so that works out
So heavy on this roommate agreement thing. I'm in a school dorm building, and i didn't know my roommates/suitemates before this. They asked if they could bring their boyfriends over. I thought nothing of it. I mean she, they were not the first set of people that asked me this question, but guys, I lowkey think they're living here now. And that wasn't what i expected AT ALL. I thought they meant they wanted them to come visit once every blue moon because that's what others did and not freaking live here and now I'm sharing my bathroom with who i didn't sign up to share it with. I don't like it, not one bit, but i also don't have the morah to bring it up. The semester is just starting. If there's no chamge, I'll bring it up then.
Honestly, Me and my bestfriend ended up living together we didn't communicate on what our boundaries were/are and we never argued and still don't argue we found out that our way of everything is the exact same and we ended up really happy living together. I'm now living with them and their boyfriend so it's a bit uncomfortable (me and the boyfriend don't really know eachother) but me and my bestfriend wise we've had no issues 😊😊 (we co-parent my 9 year old dog)
I moved in with 2 of my best friends over a decade ago. I still love those dudes to death. Couldn't have been an easier situation 😂
I had the best friend. But when we moved in together - it was a HUGE mistake( we 'broke up' in 6 months. And when I moved out - our friendship was over. Honestly, it wasn't about sharing grocery, it was about her uncured psychological problems
I honestly wish I did this when my friend and I moved in together. We've done well to communicate, but I know we both have a lot of annoyances at each other that we haven't really figured out how to bring up. Especially since we both get mean when frustrated.
no time like the present! it's always a good idea to communicate your needs and hear where your friend is coming from
Better to share room with someone you don't know than your 'friend'. Tried it. Man was a slob, doesn't even do his laundry. Cycles through clothes. Every time he opens his room, the odor that oozes out is just dank. Left the kitchen in a state too many times. Laid it to him straight. Told him to stop being a lazy ass like his papa and clean up cause 'your mommy aint picking up after you'. Brought his new gf and didn't even clean up. That girl's face was just 😐. I honestly liked him before I lived with him. He was a great team player in games. Not so much irl. So I don't room with my mates to avoid breaking friendships. He called me gay too for doing chores and bathing. Adulting is apparently gay
Don't be Sheldon 😭
If someone tells you:
"Don't listen to Sheldon!"
You really shouldn't listen to them... he's the best
Very good idea
And these are all the reasons my two besties and I would never live together. We are soooo different in our habbits of cleaning, furniture, pets and all that stuff. It is totally ok for us to visit and sleep there 1 or 2 nights but never as roommates. But we discussed that it would be nice to live in the same neighborhood or have a biiig farm with shared garden and a shared tea spot but each their own house with partners and kids.
POV: Sheldon inThe Big Bang Theory
roommate agreements are also good for college dorms
I never room with a good friend for this exact reason
I give my friends the bigger rooms because
1. i HATE large spaces
2. I don’t have to walk too far for anything
3. Spending less money on decorating
4. easier to clean
That cat looks just like mine lol
i told my roommate i needed this but she brushed it off and now im moving out cause she passive aggressive and hasnt felt like a friend for months
I moved in with a friend. Not a best friend but we were pretty close. We've never fought and we didn't have rules. The only thing we split was rent and utilities. But electricity anyone paid lol
i should have done this when my brother moved in but honestly i cant guarantee ill hold up my end of the chores because some weeks im on top of everything and others im a whreck
Saving this for when I will never have a roommate 😔
Sheldon 😂
i love how i first thought about sheldon
the realest
Me and my best friend had 1 agreement, if we feel the other is not holding up we had a calm relaxed conversation and mentioned "i dont want to be a gabbie but *fill in issue, usually dishes*" our ex bestfriend was also my roomate, and she treated me like garbage until i left and stopped talking to her. Our rule was to make sure we werent putting in as little effort as gabbie or attacking eachtoher about things like gabbie. Typically it ended in laughter and understanding because we are both neurodivergent. I learned she 100% does not share her mascara and im sure we both learned that we suck at cleaning but we survived and still didnt fight once. Been friends for 10 years now and lived togetehr for 1 of it, we are still best friends and both miss living together. Im just hoping that if ci can move closer, we can have more roomate vibe moments but in our own separate spaces with our partners.
On the bedroom decision: ive always proposed rooms go to whoever is bringing more to the table in the lease, be it a higher portion of rent, a higher credit score pulling up a lower one, or even higher income contributing to the 3x rent policies. Or, sometimes you just get the master because theres some feature your friend hates. (For example, i got the master because my friend hated the mirror door closet in the master bath, and i didnt mind staring at myself while i shit xD)
I can move in with only one person. My roomie from nursing school. We were the best roomie to each other. We aren't alike but with time we learnt to adjust, not bcz there was compulsion of any kind but just bcz we liked the company of other one. She is a party girl and I am an introvert but later on I started sitting in a corner for her to dance (we were both invited bcz we were colleagues) & then leave together. I used to sometimes skip some parties but later on she was like even I don't wanna go without you bcz it's boring so sometimes I went for her bcz she was lot younger and I don't want her to become boring in younger age. She was the sweet talker, cute and bubbly one and I was the aggressive one so we dealt as per the situation demanded. When situation needed buttering she dealt even on my behalf and when some straightforward answer was needed I dealt on her behalf.
THE BIG BANG THEORY!!!!????
Imagine living and cramping up with 10 roommates, all women. I've been in this situation.
"having a meeting once a month and talk about this." Diplomatic conversation that's what we aim for. But this would definitely work if you're willing to open up your heart.
reallyyyy wish I had done a roommate agreement with my best friend from high school before we moved in together. we're no longer friends
You should do Gianna (jee on uh) it’s very easy to tell at yk.
I was friends and coworkers with my current housemate before we moved in, and to our credit we did discuss these things and have generally stuck to our agreements over the past 3 years. However, we've definitely drifted apart in our time as housemates. I still think she's a good housemate, but it's hard to say if we're friends these days. 🤷♀️ sad, but these things happen I guess
Yeah unfortunately don’t move in with your best friend if you want to keep that friendship. Even if you have very explicit rules and regular roommate meetings things can go to crap pretty quickly.
tried to organise a chore schedule with my uni housemates. one said "eh, we'll figure it out as we go"
this was the same housemate that had a house party then left the dishes out for two days
Should have doen this it ended a 6 year friendship along with other stuff but
BIG BANG THEORY!!!!!!!!!!!
sheldon knows
Golden rule: Don't be roommates with your high school friend. It's wild but 90% of stories I've heard are friendship fallouts 😬
I got lucky with my roommate being my uni best friend (tends to have a better impact I've found). I lived alone my first two years in dorms, she had a roommate and then was alone. We met freshman year through her roommate (who was my friend at the time) and became good friends ever since then. I def consider her my uni best friend. We agreed on a apartment off campus and we were lucky that if we didn't talk about it, we just knew how to co-live with each other. Mention of when guests, how long (usually just her bf who I get along w as well), she cooks, I clean, dinners together, food shared other than snacks and anything specifically mentioned, closed v cracked v open door, venting, A/C, power bill, etc etc just was known without words. I don't know how but we got lucky that we just knew how to co-live and I'm grateful because I know it's pretty rare. Always be sure to have a good discussion with your roommate, even if it may feel awkward because 9 times out of 10, it's harder to co-live with people than you think!!
My childhood friend and I are no longer friends. Me coming with shared flat experience and her not listening to any of my advices of what we had done in former flats. Well, turns out I was just supposed to accept anything while she decided to after 3 months she would rather have her boyfriend there. Girl practically ghosted me for another 6 months. Even when I addressed the issue she was just like: „yeah we need to move apart.“ but I was supposed to leave. Couldn’t take it anymore, in the end I actually left despite being in the right. Still traumatized today
Who gets the bigger bedroom?
Easy - whoever put their name on the lease.
End of story.
Which should be everyone...