*"When I was 13 and all these hot 17 yr cheerleaders wanted to date me"* Of all the bullshit things Alex Jones has said over the years, this has to be the topper.
As a matter fact, I went to UGA in Athens back in the '90's. My two best friends were this goth boy and girl couple who were a punk band called "Satan's Cheerleaders." They were REALLY fucking good. They rocked the fuck out of Athens, GA. They had to break up because they too cool for Athens, GA.
He’s also claimed to have slept with like, 20 women or something (all older than him) by the time he graduated high school. It’s such a ridiculous boast. And these are the people that are all about “christian values” and “abstinence until marriage” and “women should close their legs.”
You guys sure have fun with Alex Jones being totally insane. The real problem is the millions of people that believe every word he says and that is not funny.
william. Agree 100%. "Tell the lie. Make it big. Repeat it often and be sure it reaches the population with the highest concentration of the least intelligent" Josef Goebel. Hitler's minister of propaganda.
i'm gonna guess decades of daily crystal meth use; his over-the-top paranoia + illusions of grandeur + obsession w/ satan & demons + interrupting yourself halfway thru a sentence about "interdimensional" lizards to go on a tangent abt having sex w/ cheerleaders at 13, but then interrupting yourself AGAIN mid-sentence to talk abt people in black hoods and ultimately land on something abt narcotics and being hung in a jail cell. A loop within a loop within a loop. Yeah, that's meth. Takes one to know one, trust me on this. This guy's deep in the hole, and he ain't ever gonna climb out.
I still die from laughter coming back to this video every time because of Michael's laughter in the background combined with Sam's hilarious Alex Jones impression!! 😅😂
There is a 70s exploitation flick called "Satan's Cheerleaders". And iirc it's not only a bad film, but isn't even as sleazy as the title would indicate. In the 70s esp with grindhouse flicks "not sleazy enough" was a definite negative.
It really isn't funny having to have consensual sex with a women who is older richer and prettier than you. It's fun at the time but you must end up weeping in a corner
It's hokey in the sense that even a 13 year old would laugh at you for making that claim. In Texas, no less. lol The most believable part was that he was driving at 13. I know in NM, there were some kids out in the country driving that young. They even have a special "rural" license, or they did when I was a kid over 40 years ago.
Yeah, it didn't sound hokey so much as completely fucking made up! And I agree, pretty much the only part that was believable was that he might have been able to get away with driving at 13 in the 80s, in rural Texas.
PS Wright My ex had a license at 14, he had it because his dad traveled a lot and in emergency situations he might need to drive, take his sister to school, etc. That would be 20 years ago, I’ve heard in some states they still have that option for people who have disabilities and might need their kids to drive, etc.
Jay Corby well Rockwall is a county that is wealthy but not as much as Jones is making it out to be maybe at the time they were so I think he may be talking about Rockwall and I’ve never heard of Rockhead being a suburb of Dallas
Wishful thinking by Jones - sounds like something out of Penthouse Forum, or a storyline from a porn movie... Someone nicknamed Jones as “GayFrogMan”, which is quite fitting.
He has mentioned he was a wild child. His description of their wealth reminds me of that 80's show Dallas. Many of them probably were wealthy from the oil industry.
I grew up in a nearby area to Alex. No 13 whose dad was doctor was driving on dates in Dallas. And where was he at 13 meeting 18 year old cheerleader that wanted to date him? 18 yo cheerleaders don't date 14 year olds. At least in my upscale they wouldn't be caught dead. Also looking back weren't basic girls like that either boring af or totally edgy???? Lol
Sounds like an old horror exploration film Satan cheerleader, move poster a hot cheerleader with a lizard tail coming out under skirt and wrapping around one of her legs and tiny horns popping out of her head "This summer this lizard hot cheer leader devils arn't from hell but from another dimension"
Alex Jones is such a perfect distillation of all the negative traits a human being can have that he ends up being almost like some sort of living human art piece about our decline as a species. I live in Ireland, far away from all of this, and yet almost everyone my age (mid-twenties) instantly understands who I'm talking about when I do a 'Gay frogs' Alex Jones impression. Like him or not, he's left a pretty profound mark on my generation.
Ahhhh Fabian - You have poetry in the soul, like any good Irish lad. Your first paragraph ( actually only one sentence ) wraps up the essence of Jones as green wraps up Spring in Eire. You see, my roots are Irish as well although a Yank I am. BRAVO! to all of my tribe ;o))
I'd watch a comedic Alex Jones Netflix biopic...you know, somebody plays as Alex Jones as these stories he always tells are re-enacted. I won't even lie. LMAO
Yeah I started thinking halfway through it that this sounds more like it was his masturbatory fantasy, and the fact that his wet dreams involved a vast conspiracy of Satanist cheerleaders trying to lure him to secret Klan rallies, is fucking scary!
Alex Jones' story involving a satanic secret society, with the police being complicit, and underage drinking at a beach bonfire is like a half remembered scene from the movie Society.
I had to go read what the difference is on wikipedia. It says "In theological sources, predominately Christian, Beelzebub is sometimes another name for the Devil, similar to Satan. " Which is how I thought of it, but reading further I see what you meant. Lord of the flies, 3rd in the hierarchy of hell or whatever. This nonsense is so ridiculous reading it. I still cannot fathom how there are adults to fall for this after the age of reason. Kids before the age of reason, sure, I get it, but not adults.
This man has such an imagination for crazy, I don't know a 13 old boy that would turn down a17 year old hot girl cheerleader no matter what she was into. He can't even tell a believable story without it being shot down for stupidity and crazy contents.
Why do people think this is funny? Shit like this really happens. I remember going to hook up with a college senior when I was 9 and all of the sudden she's telling me about how wonderful Pazuzu is. Shit's no laughing matter.
I am a bit late to the party here, but as someone who grew up in a rural area, I wanted to say that his claim of being able to drive at 13 in Texas in the 80s isn't all that crazy (don't get me wrong, the rest of everything he says here is entirely unhinged, as per usual for Jones). I grew up in North Dakota, and, in 2005, at the age of 14, I got my driver's license. In rural areas and certain circumstances, kids even younger than that could get hardship licenses, but those usually had some restrictions. It was only a few years ago that North Dakota changed the law, pushing the minimum age up to 15. I can only imagine how lax the Texas driving laws may have been back in the 80s.
omfg I'm so pleased to see that someone else notices this. SERIOUSLY Alex Jones and Donald Trump just constantly remind me of the Office UK lol, the nonstop BS bragging, pretending that something happened spontaneously when it obviously didn't, out of control narcissistic self-image, it's so damn funny & sad
Alex Jones just pitched a sick ass Lifetime movie! Privileged 17 yr. old Cheerleaders go friendly fishing for Baphomet amongst 13 yr. old boys who have drivers licences, on 4th date!😜😜!
ok so im subbed to you but i don't have the notifications ons, since i tend to watch your channel at my leisure. Saw your Dore video yesterday, and now my recommended gets flooded with videos from this channel, is there a way to "tone" that down a bit? Don't want to unsub but it literally floods my main page.
*"When I was 13 and all these hot 17 yr cheerleaders wanted to date me"* Of all the bullshit things Alex Jones has said over the years, this has to be the topper.
mshara1 What's he got go lose, his audience has believed everything else?
mshara 1 - Alex could shoot a wad in the middle of Sam Houston Blvd and still not lose any supporters ;o))
Lmao and that is saying a lot because that’s a lot of BS!
He'd be great on a D&D podcast.
mshara1 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Alex Jones' fantasy life would make a great sit-com.
Greasyspleen
I agree!, it should be called croak back mountain!.
He would make a great fantasy hentai tentacles porn
What would you call it? The recreation of Jonestown?
Sounds more like an Adult Swim sort of thing
it would be even more trippy than rick and morty..
Satanic Cheerleaders- sounds like a great name for a rock band.
or a great 1970s b movie
Or a low-budget 1980's horror movie.
Done. Come see at the Motorsports part in Millville on July 13th!
Someone get Jamie a record contract stat!
As a matter fact, I went to UGA in Athens back in the '90's. My two best friends were this goth boy and girl couple who were a punk band called "Satan's Cheerleaders." They were REALLY fucking good. They rocked the fuck out of Athens, GA. They had to break up because they too cool for Athens, GA.
‘These weren’t KKK hoods’. No that would have been fine!
Given the choice, I think I'd take the devil worshippers over the klansmen.
No Alex Jones segment has made me laugh harder than this one.
Nik Saunders I LMAO when Sam said “I’m going to diagram this out for you....” 😂
Hahaha me too!!
I live in Rockwall, Texas. This story is SO bullshit. Still hilarious though.
I like the one where he keeps interrupting his guest.
I N T E R D I M E N S I O N A L L Y
This is a bit too much. I didn't draw a line with 🍕 gate, crisis actor, lizard people, but I dated a popular cheerleader it's a outrageous lie.
He’s also claimed to have slept with like, 20 women or something (all older than him) by the time he graduated high school. It’s such a ridiculous boast. And these are the people that are all about “christian values” and “abstinence until marriage” and “women should close their legs.”
Hahahahahahahahahahaa
I wish he said 20.. he actually said, I swear to god, thousands. 20 might be believable..
Edit: he said 150 . My bad
Alex Jones pull out game must be more effective than his supplements
Gimme a S
Gimme an A
Gimme a T
Gimme an A
Gimme a N
What's that spell?
We don't know ... we're from Texas !
hey im from Texas and i know what that spells asshole. Its Natas...idk what that means but i know what it spells.
Underrated comment Eric. I say as someone who just left Texas
Let's Go Satan! [clap-clap, clap-clap-clap]
HaHA yEAh tExAs dUmB ThEy DoN't kNOw sPeLL hAHa!! ThEY aRe sTUpiD rePubiKLan, mE goOd LiBeRAl, mE SmARt!
😂🤣🤣
Sam's impression of Michael doing Sam's voice had me weeping!
I don’t watch his show, but I love it when other people show his clips. They’re freaking hilarious
Iam Atarsamain i feel it would be a lot more hilarious if he didnt have the following he does
I’ve noticed that all these big right-wing talk show hosts are _soooooo_ egotistical and love to make ridiculous brags and boasts unironically.
samiamrg7 they brag and boast much like their President. Its over compensating.
Constant humblebrags.
Bill O'Reily was the king of this. They thing ego can overshadow their lack of intelligence.
@@rozzaziobrown6515 Just no sexual predator from Jones though...
You guys sure have fun with Alex Jones being totally insane.
The real problem is the millions of people that believe every word he says and that is not funny.
william. Agree 100%.
"Tell the lie. Make it big. Repeat it often and be sure it reaches the population with the highest concentration of the least intelligent" Josef Goebel. Hitler's minister of propaganda.
william
It's hilarious to be honest.
Eh there is no helping stupid people. If not Alex Jones these idiots would have joined some other cult.
It's good to know how much you hate but too bad that you try to Spew and spread that hate
william ...AGREED !!!
I cried tears of hilarity halfway through this. Might be their best AJ segment ever.
Satanic cheerleader sexcult? I might have seen that movie.
Alex Purkis pornhub, right?
AJ steals his theories from films. 😆
Satan cheerleaders 1977 it's a real movie
Sam doing Michael doing Sam is lowkey the best part of this.
Every pause means that he's trying to think of more bullshit to spew
Sam's Alex Jones impersonation is so fucking good.
Alex Jones is getting more unhinged each day, it seems.
PJ Max - would that actually be possible?
Jay Corby
It seems he & Trump are trying to out dumb each other
Eric Andre inspired him
Damn I love and miss Mike. Him and Sam’s comedy dynamic was perfect
Alex Jones should have a cooking show where instead of food, he artfully mingles pharmaceuticals until he knocks the camera over
Julia Jones cooks French!!
WTF is wrong with this guy?
Jomo Mercury Narcissistic personality disorder!
He started believing the BS he talks. Now he's insane.
Jomo - More like , WTF is NOT wrong with this guy?
Lots and lots of the finest Meth known to man.
i'm gonna guess decades of daily crystal meth use; his over-the-top paranoia + illusions of grandeur + obsession w/ satan & demons + interrupting yourself halfway thru a sentence about "interdimensional" lizards to go on a tangent abt having sex w/ cheerleaders at 13, but then interrupting yourself AGAIN mid-sentence to talk abt people in black hoods and ultimately land on something abt narcotics and being hung in a jail cell. A loop within a loop within a loop.
Yeah, that's meth. Takes one to know one, trust me on this. This guy's deep in the hole, and he ain't ever gonna climb out.
This clip is an ALL TIME CLASSIC😂🤣😃
Thomas Didymus MR does Alex Jones better and funnier than Jones’ own nonsense. 🤣
@@restlessly12 | yes they do!!! I miss the Alex Jones clips.
I still die from laughter coming back to this video every time because of Michael's laughter in the background combined with Sam's hilarious Alex Jones impression!! 😅😂
Alex Jones dated a cheerleader??? LOL!!!!!
Can any of these women come forward I would like to meet you
They exist only in jones dreams!
I agree, where can I pick up an application for this cult?
Jeffery Worch a metoo movement we can all truly get behind.
There is a 70s exploitation flick called "Satan's Cheerleaders". And iirc it's not only a bad film, but isn't even as sleazy as the title would indicate. In the 70s esp with grindhouse flicks "not sleazy enough" was a definite negative.
A part of his collection i'm certain.
*I live in Houston. It was a real problem here back in the day. So many goddamn satanic cheerleaders. Shit was crazy yo.*
Had to watch this today again in celebration after the $49 mil+ verdict today 👏
Eric Cartman grew up and changed his name to Alex Jones.
Where can I find one of those cheerleaders at my college? sounds hot. Dudes complaining about hot cheerleaders?. I hope alex gets sued so hard
It really isn't funny having to have consensual sex with a women who is older richer and prettier than you. It's fun at the time but you must end up weeping in a corner
It's hokey in the sense that even a 13 year old would laugh at you for making that claim. In Texas, no less. lol The most believable part was that he was driving at 13. I know in NM, there were some kids out in the country driving that young. They even have a special "rural" license, or they did when I was a kid over 40 years ago.
Yeah, it didn't sound hokey so much as completely fucking made up! And I agree, pretty much the only part that was believable was that he might have been able to get away with driving at 13 in the 80s, in rural Texas.
PS Wright My ex had a license at 14, he had it because his dad traveled a lot and in emergency situations he might need to drive, take his sister to school, etc. That would be 20 years ago, I’ve heard in some states they still have that option for people who have disabilities and might need their kids to drive, etc.
Can someone tell me where you can get recruited by hot satanic cheerleaders? Asking for a friend...
this is one of the best MR moments of all time
Wow: I literally can't tell if it's Sam, Michael or Alex Jones if I only listen to the audio--very accurate impression.
Most of the cheerleaders at my school were uptight hypocritical Christian girls.
This is all funny for sure but the fact that tens of thousands actually believe this shit is pretty scary. We live amongst zombies
Deondre - Zombies are actually more aware.
Jay Corby fair point
Interdimensional pedophile zombies!
NursKul
"Satanic worshipping" pedophile zombies :p
The head cheerleader was really Alex Jones childhood Priest Father Cox with pompoms and wig on.
Sean - Or tampons and wig on!
Who's priest father Cox?
You guys had a ton of fun with this one :)
man i miss clips like these 😂
I could listen to these impressions for days😂😂
I'm from Dallas and I spent a couple of years growing up in Rockwall and I can definitely picture a person like Alex Jones growing up there
Of course I did and the helicopter landing are all over Rockwall,Tx they're not fake at all
Are you a satanic nymphomaniac cheerleader?
Jacob Rojo - Are we sure it wasn't Rockhead TX where Jones lived?
Jay Corby well Rockwall is a county that is wealthy but not as much as Jones is making it out to be maybe at the time they were so I think he may be talking about Rockwall and I’ve never heard of Rockhead being a suburb of Dallas
Bryansk Scion yes but not a top cheerleader like the one in Jones story
Wishful thinking by Jones - sounds like something out of Penthouse Forum, or a storyline from a porn movie...
Someone nicknamed Jones as “GayFrogMan”, which is quite fitting.
AJ's stories aren't just tall, they're skyscrapers, lol.
This is a classic video. I come back from time to time. Feels good after Jones got hit with over one billion dollars.
As a last resort he'll claim he's insane to escape prison.
9000ck ....THERE'S SO MUCH EVIDENCE OF THAT , HE MIGHT JUST WIN !!
Why would he go to prison? He has over 10 pending lawsuits, but none of them are criminal
He has mentioned he was a wild child. His description of their wealth reminds me of that 80's show Dallas. Many of them probably were wealthy from the oil industry.
Speechless.
God hearing Michael die laughing in the background is everything ❤️
4:38 This projection fantasy is so exta, I can't handle it! 😂😂
Y’all are havin too much fun. I was kickin my feet laughin when I heard Algiers😂😆🤣
I grew up in a nearby area to Alex. No 13 whose dad was doctor was driving on dates in Dallas. And where was he at 13 meeting 18 year old cheerleader that wanted to date him? 18 yo cheerleaders don't date 14 year olds. At least in my upscale they wouldn't be caught dead. Also looking back weren't basic girls like that either boring af or totally edgy???? Lol
Lmao that's to much!!!
Sam's Alex Jones impression is getting better every day.
Sounds like an old horror exploration film Satan cheerleader, move poster a hot cheerleader with a lizard tail coming out under skirt and wrapping around one of her legs and tiny horns popping out of her head
"This summer this lizard hot cheer leader devils arn't from hell but from another dimension"
I thought the same thing. Sounds like some kind of crazy horror movie
Sam's Alex voice is on point
Honeyyyy 17 going for a 13 year old???? You're a victim.
Every year, I watch this video now 😂😂😂😂
Wow Sam doing Michael’s impression was amazingly entertaining
I'm calling it now: Alex Jones will record his suicide and upload it before 2020.
gonna keep an eye on this
No such luck. In fact….
Alex Jones is such a perfect distillation of all the negative traits a human being can have that he ends up being almost like some sort of living human art piece about our decline as a species.
I live in Ireland, far away from all of this, and yet almost everyone my age (mid-twenties) instantly understands who I'm talking about when I do a 'Gay frogs' Alex Jones impression. Like him or not, he's left a pretty profound mark on my generation.
Ahhhh Fabian - You have poetry in the soul, like any good Irish lad. Your first paragraph ( actually only one sentence ) wraps up the essence of Jones as green wraps up Spring in Eire. You see, my roots are Irish as well although a Yank I am. BRAVO! to all of my tribe ;o))
And the cops said "No time for love, Dr. Jones!"
I'd watch a comedic Alex Jones Netflix biopic...you know, somebody plays as Alex Jones as these stories he always tells are re-enacted. I won't even lie. LMAO
They didn’t have white KKK hoods, so Alex wasn’t interested.
here for the impressions lollll
"When I was 13 I drove out to the mansions of 17 year old satanic cheerleaders..." and the driving part is what caught our attention? Lmao
Does anyone have the Alex Jones clip this is originally from? Or full episode with timestamp? Thanks!
You know its funny when you start laughing at the beginning of the video lmao
Alex Jones has the best stand-up comedy act ever.
Oh my god, they had me laughing out loud, my daughter had to ask me what I was watching. Sam’s Alex Jones imitation was hilarious!
Man this guy is a habitual liar! 😂 even if he was telling the truth I Could never believe him because he lies so much lol. 😃😆
100,000 Mercedes in 1970? It's fully depreciated by now..... the car I mean....
Why give This guy more attention then he Actually deserves?
To highlight how much of a fucking lunatic he is?
for the entertainment value... I never get tired of this stuff.
Dan Ames - It's all about the humor, dude - especially in the Trump era where there's not much to laugh about.
This only happened in Alex's wet dream.
Yeah I started thinking halfway through it that this sounds more like it was his masturbatory fantasy, and the fact that his wet dreams involved a vast conspiracy of Satanist cheerleaders trying to lure him to secret Klan rallies, is fucking scary!
Your Alex Jones impression is on point.
Alex Jones' story involving a satanic secret society, with the police being complicit, and underage drinking at a beach bonfire is like a half remembered scene from the movie Society.
Bwahahahaha. This is fucking gold. Alex Jones is in the wrong business. Should have been a comedian. Love it.
Tim Bell - I thought he was! Silly me.
He is a performance artist.
Lucifer isn’t Beelzebub
As if any difference between two imaginary characters really matters.
jim bob with most of humanity still being completely ruled be mythos, I’d say it’s actually important.
I had to go read what the difference is on wikipedia.
It says "In theological sources, predominately Christian, Beelzebub is sometimes another name for the Devil, similar to Satan. "
Which is how I thought of it, but reading further I see what you meant. Lord of the flies, 3rd in the hierarchy of hell or whatever. This nonsense is so ridiculous reading it. I still cannot fathom how there are adults to fall for this after the age of reason. Kids before the age of reason, sure, I get it, but not adults.
Oh! Touche'!
Satan is the Devil, but not ALL devils are Satan.
This clip quickly devolved into “AAAARRGGGHHH’s and UUUUURRRRGGGGHHH’s!”
Imagine how wild it would be to live in the world of Alex Jones’s deranged imagination
This man has such an imagination for crazy, I don't know a 13 old boy that would turn down a17 year old hot girl cheerleader no matter what she was into. He can't even tell a believable story without it being shot down for stupidity and crazy contents.
the whole time sam and michael are going back w the france story jamie just looks genuinely concerned
Alex Jones impersonations are never not funny
this is so fucking funny... I can’t pick out a single sentence of Alex Jones’s they’re all gold
OMG sam doing an impression of sam is so great
Why do people think this is funny? Shit like this really happens. I remember going to hook up with a college senior when I was 9 and all of the sudden she's telling me about how wonderful Pazuzu is. Shit's no laughing matter.
Creationist Cat had a great interview with his ex. ALL HAIL CC!
That impression is so good I can't tell when it ends
I've heard Alex spout some crazy bs. But this tops it.
There is a movie called "Satan's Cheerleaders." He was 13 probably watched it on VHS.
"Satanic Cheerleaders". Isn't that a Roger Corman movie?
In my mind, I'm picturing the P.A.G.A.N cult from Dragnet (1987).
Yeah man!
I am a bit late to the party here, but as someone who grew up in a rural area, I wanted to say that his claim of being able to drive at 13 in Texas in the 80s isn't all that crazy (don't get me wrong, the rest of everything he says here is entirely unhinged, as per usual for Jones). I grew up in North Dakota, and, in 2005, at the age of 14, I got my driver's license. In rural areas and certain circumstances, kids even younger than that could get hardship licenses, but those usually had some restrictions. It was only a few years ago that North Dakota changed the law, pushing the minimum age up to 15. I can only imagine how lax the Texas driving laws may have been back in the 80s.
You guys sound like you're drownding, doing those Alex Jones impressions. XD
Oh no, he's (Alex Jones) turning into David Brent. A real-life literal version of a walking, talking, open sore....
omfg I'm so pleased to see that someone else notices this. SERIOUSLY Alex Jones and Donald Trump just constantly remind me of the Office UK lol, the nonstop BS bragging, pretending that something happened spontaneously when it obviously didn't, out of control narcissistic self-image, it's so damn funny & sad
This just popped up in my watch list…but HOLY 💩 is this FANTASTIC!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sam Seder doing a Sam Seder impression is absolutely hilarious.
Alex Jones just pitched a sick ass Lifetime movie!
Privileged 17 yr. old Cheerleaders go friendly fishing for Baphomet amongst 13 yr. old boys who have drivers licences, on 4th date!😜😜!
I’ve got a girlfriend, she goes to a different school.
ok so im subbed to you but i don't have the notifications ons, since i tend to watch your channel at my leisure. Saw your Dore video yesterday, and now my recommended gets flooded with videos from this channel, is there a way to "tone" that down a bit? Don't want to unsub but it literally floods my main page.