Thanks both of you for sharing this! I can relate in so many ways. And I am also a friend of Brad Robertson by the way. What a great guy with such knowledge of God's grace!👍 Religious trauma is behond terrible. I remember sitting in the back of the Church of times and had to get out of there because of panic attacks!, on top of that I was pressured to lead worship at time..,, I gave my heart to the Lord in 1983,, and for 2 years I had such peace and joy and the Lord opened doors for me in high school that totally changed my life for better but then the church I was going to started getting very legalistic. At first it was all love and peace and joy and then it became do's and don'ts and striving for sanctification and holiness. Be perfect as God is perfect was quoted!Eventually, the bar got so high that many of us felt like total failures. On top of that, my best friend, who was my cousin, who was very close to me since we were little kids, was killed on a motorcycle ,before I could tell him about my new real faith and how he could get saved! Because the church taught that you needed to tell people how to get saved and if you didn't, it would be on your head at judgement Day. On top of all this, I felt I let God down, especially after I felt in my heart I had been called to be a pastor,,,I couldn't go to church anymore and I left for college traumatized. I felt I had so-called back sliding, and was no longer saved! This after having felt so close to the Lord for 2 years..! I would binge drink in college to deal with the trauma,, I look back and it's only by the grace of God that He got me through Music and business college and I got good grades despite my abilities. I had a good friend and college roommate that took a job as a youth pastor at a local Lutheran Church in 1991 and he and some others try to help me understand Grace, giving me books on Grace and eternal security but somehow I just couldn't grasp it was for me , I could never shake that I felt I had lost my salvation. I will shorten this up,, for many years I did ministry, served was in groups, went to counseling, was on medication, on and on and nothing really ever helped, I was always struggling with depression and sometimes severe anxiety and depression, it wasn't until I started pulling away from church 10 years ago and got angry about my past and thought well, God do whatever you want with me,,! Meaning maybe death or Hell,,,,and of course that triggered guilt, , but I started to feel more peace and then God led me to some online Grace friends and Grace groups, along with my own searching and finding out more about grace,,. My wife and family go to my friend's church, which is a lot of Grace but they still have some of the basic teachings, like discipleship , tithing and confessing before communion etc,,. everyone wants me to go to church there, ,,I do show up for various important times but I'm very guarded about going back to church, .. my friends there know about my religious trauma, PTSD ,but I don't think they really understand it..? Now I feel I have a really good grasp of Grace and I thought about starting my own Grace group but I'm also very guarded about that.. I would definitely have to have God's leading and presence to do any of it. I do attend a really good online church called Church of the eternally secure, ces, where the focus is always Grace, and no works, I also support people on Andrew Farley's chat with regards to Grace,, this has all been good for my healing...signed 🐦
The modern church puts the pastor in the spotlight and expects him to always be giving and spiritual but actually the whole body should be striving to do that. It was never meant to rest on the shoulders of one man and his family.
Thanks both of you for sharing this! I can relate in so many ways. And I am also a friend of Brad Robertson by the way. What a great guy with such knowledge of God's grace!👍 Religious trauma is behond terrible. I remember sitting in the back of the Church of times and had to get out of there because of panic attacks!, on top of that I was pressured to lead worship at time..,, I gave my heart to the Lord in 1983,, and for 2 years I had such peace and joy and the Lord opened doors for me in high school that totally changed my life for better but then the church I was going to started getting very legalistic. At first it was all love and peace and joy and then it became do's and don'ts and striving for sanctification and holiness. Be perfect as God is perfect was quoted!Eventually, the bar got so high that many of us felt like total failures. On top of that, my best friend, who was my cousin, who was very close to me since we were little kids, was killed on a motorcycle ,before I could tell him about my new real faith and how he could get saved! Because the church taught that you needed to tell people how to get saved and if you didn't, it would be on your head at judgement Day. On top of all this, I felt I let God down, especially after I felt in my heart I had been called to be a pastor,,,I couldn't go to church anymore and I left for college traumatized. I felt I had so-called back sliding, and was no longer saved! This after having felt so close to the Lord for 2 years..! I would binge drink in college to deal with the trauma,, I look back and it's only by the grace of God that He got me through Music and business college and I got good grades despite my abilities. I had a good friend and college roommate that took a job as a youth pastor at a local Lutheran Church in 1991 and he and some others try to help me understand Grace, giving me books on Grace and eternal security but somehow I just couldn't grasp it was for me , I could never shake that I felt I had lost my salvation. I will shorten this up,, for many years I did ministry, served was in groups, went to counseling, was on medication, on and on and nothing really ever helped, I was always struggling with depression and sometimes severe anxiety and depression, it wasn't until I started pulling away from church 10 years ago and got angry about my past and thought well, God do whatever you want with me,,! Meaning maybe death or Hell,,,,and of course that triggered guilt, , but I started to feel more peace and then God led me to some online Grace friends and Grace groups, along with my own searching and finding out more about grace,,. My wife and family go to my friend's church, which is a lot of Grace but they still have some of the basic teachings, like discipleship , tithing and confessing before communion etc,,. everyone wants me to go to church there, ,,I do show up for various important times but I'm very guarded about going back to church, .. my friends there know about my religious trauma, PTSD ,but I don't think they really understand it..? Now I feel I have a really good grasp of Grace and I thought about starting my own Grace group but I'm also very guarded about that.. I would definitely have to have God's leading and presence to do any of it. I do attend a really good online church called Church of the eternally secure, ces, where the focus is always Grace, and no works, I also support people on Andrew Farley's chat with regards to Grace,, this has all been good for my healing...signed 🐦
Thanku:)
👏
Romans 16:5 Likewise greet the church that is in their house. Salute my wellbeloved Epaenetus, who is the firstfruits of Achaia unto Christ.
The modern church puts the pastor in the spotlight and expects him to always be giving and spiritual but actually the whole body should be striving to do that. It was never meant to rest on the shoulders of one man and his family.