25. OCD Treatment: "Whatever OCD" - ERP ideas for obsessions around sexuality
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- Опубліковано 7 кві 2021
- CBT therapist Katie d'Ath talks you through some ideas of how to do ERP with obsessions about sexuality.
Katie is co-author of "Dummies Guide to Managing OCD with CBT" and is passionate about demystifying OCD and helping people to access empirically based treatment.
Hey Katie, you have a very calming voice and presence. There are so many things I've never known about myself until I watched your videos which made me realize that, maybe I don't have OCD but OCPD. I have so many compulsions surrounding all my anxieties, and I never thought I suffered from anxiety because I always "dealing with it" in my head, but that's what anxiety is! Thank you.
Hey Katie. I visited a psychologist today and she gave me 20 days meds. Tho I don't have much intrusive thoughts these days I hope it'll go away, thanks for being here.
DEAR MAM UR IDEA WORKS KINDLY UPLOAD MORE YOU ARE A GIFT TO OBESSED PEOPLES
I never thought i would be writing one of these comments .but its 4 in the morning and i watched this video and it really seems helpful .looking forward to the journey. Thank you !!
You're so welcome. Good luck with it.
@@23katied thank you 😇
Hi Katie! Thank you for all your videos, especially this one! I love how you dedicate a video to each topic so you can go in-depth, and you really make the whole ERP process sound a lot less scary. 😅 So I've heard meditation makes OCD in general worse because you're focusing on your sensations and thoughts, or it's reassurance. Is that true? I know I'm supposed to stay with my discomfort and not shy away from anything I feel, but meditation has helped me accept thoughts and painful feelings with my past themes.
Again, thank you so much! 💚
Thank you for this, Katie. Could you please do a video on ERP ideas for self harm OCD?
Yes will add to the list!
Hi Katie. Thank you for making these videos. I went to the psychiatrist and have been in medication for a few days. It would not be possible if you didn't make me realise that my ocd is getting out of hands. Thank you so much and God bless you.
I'm really happy you are getting help. Good luck and stick with it.
My ocd concerns whether I'm watching your videos for ocd matter or because I'm attracted by you. Guess that means I'm progressing hoho
Madam please make a video on ERP ideas for Pure O 🙏 . I always have unreal thoughts of fear of failure in career . I know that these thoughts are unreal and not true but then also I spent lot of time on thinking about them .
Also I've pathological doubt whether i have wrote abuse and slang in examination or not . So I check my answer many times in examination hall .I am student .my whole anxiety revolves around fear of failure in career .
Hi i also have that so ocd
So what do you like to suggest about it
Following your word I start to ignore my thoughts from today I thank you and can I have something to contact you it would be a great help
Your ERP for pure o is excellent can u please help me figure out how to do ERP for thought that I may go schizophrenic!!!
Yeah listen people, she’s right thst you can’t solve it with thinking! You have to go out and date and explore yourself to find out what you are
Hi Katie, I am currently struggling with this type of ocd (sexual orientation ocd), I recently started speaking to a therapist and she told me that sexual orientation ocd isn’t real and that it’s a popular theme that’s “trendy”, she also informed me that ERP is actually not real either and it actually makes people get uncomfortable when they’re not supposed to. She really made me feel like what I’m going through is me being in denial about my sexuality, I mean, do you suggest I see someone else? I value your opinion a lot seeing that I’ve been following you for years now.
Doesn't sound like that was a very positive or helpful experience for you. What kind of therapist was she? You need someone who is trained in CBT and experienced in dealing with OCD and delivering ERP.
Hi Dexter I've had a therapist tell me the same thing, they have no idea about intrusive thoughts and how they work. He pointed out that I was homophobic and it was because I was in the closet. He was a complete bell end and made it worse. It wasn't until I saw a proper ocd psychologist I got this handled
I thought hocd meant this wasn’t true and people don’t realise they are Gay.
Even Katie said she had some with Hocd realise they were Gay so does that mean I could realise I am a killer or my other themes.
So confused as all therapists have told me I am not these things.
Spoke to many ocd therapists who said this and even work with NOCD who said this.
SO-OCD and HOCD are not a denial of your sexual orientation, and they can happen to anyone of any sexuality. For example, if someone has been interested in partners of the same sex and they obsess about whether or not they’re actually attracted to the opposite sex, it could be SO-OCD or HOCD. The same is true the other way - if someone has only been interested in partners of the opposite sex and they obsess about the same sex. This is more frequent, and is why it’s commonly referred to as HOCD.
Am I denying my true sexuality?
In short, no, you are not denying your true sexuality if you have SO-OCD or HOCD.
What if your compulsions are the exposures… like I’ll force myself to do these things to prove to myself that they’re true because there’s a part of me that wishes I was straight and normal… would my exposures be avoidance?
Thank you for reply. If I don't check the number, the worst thing that will happen is that I will solve the problem wrongly, may be all my problems will be wrong and as a result I will fail in my exams. Can u suggest me an ERP and anti OCD way for this.
Is there any way I can end it. It's really bothering me a lot . I had to skip my previous attempt because of this obsession. The main problem is inability to not performing the checking as I have to study whole day .It's growing stronger as now i have started checking other things also .
@Katie d'Ath Request your advice on the above matter. It's bothering me a lot . Your guidance can help me.
I need your advice about violence urge and most serious reassurance that it kill me than ocd
I think I have ocd with masturbation . I quit on 12/1/21 but have had an intense fear of relapsing (I have just to be clear).
I would perform mental compulsions to try and minimize the fear of relpase, how do I know if I will succeed? I still get urges (anyone who overcomes an addiction knows the urges will come it’s apart of it) then I have thoughts about doing it and it excites me but I get anxious at how much it does.
I wish I didn’t have this intense fear, to not ruminate constantly. I’ve been doing much much better, but idk if anyone else has had this.
Some weird mental note:
I quit porn with relative ease. No struggle what so ever. I am afraid of relapsing to porn, but am TERRIFIED of relapsing to masturbation. I know that masturbation in itself isn’t bad, but as an ex porn addict, my sexual fantasies as well as masturbation has been coupled/altered with the drug. So that is why I do not.
My relapses were attempts to try and prove to myself I didn’t like it. To prove that I didn’t have to. 😔 idk some people might just dismiss me as an addict who simply wants the drug and doesn’t know how to handle it.
I was doing so well but these thoughts came back. 😔
Hey Mam
Intrusive unwanted sexual thought of partner with strangers is this ocd thoughts or not
Pls help me answer
I also have issues kissing men and friends when Infromt them what would I do in that respect for erp
Bypular desorder and sizophereniya reaction patients I am appear qlts exam international lawer and
I am mental patients.
Continue medesin. Suggest please
Thank you, Katie... but... I was wondering... Playing the opposite of what OCD wants you to do is also the opposite of NOT paying attention to OCD (contrary to what you said by the end of it). It is actually ALL about OCD, too, just on the opposite end of the continuum of living with OCD as the centre of your universe. In other words, you never forget about it and never live YOUR life, you are just trying to prove something to your OCD, specifically, that you are being free of its influences.
You are right they appear to be two different things . Doing the opposite is part of doing deliberate exposures in order to get you to be less triggered by the thoughts/feelings and then you can start letting go of paying attention more easily. But also don’t forget what your ocd really wants is for you to pay attention to it so by not paying attention you are still doing the opposite. And lastly, try not to over think it! That’s part of what your ocd loves to do. Think of this advice more like a recipe you follow rather than something to analyse and unpick or you’ll get yourself tied up in knots.
@@23katied Thank you, Katie. No, not really: OCD is nothing personal, doesn't want anything, actually. It's not a sentient being to have its own agenda. It's quite neutral in its essence, it arises, like a wave of negatively exciting images and thoughts, which are so frightening, disturbing (or similar) that the system quickly gives them a spiking emotional/somatic response (and some compulsions may follow also). So, it's the response to the "offering", or relationship with one's OCD contents, that creates an issue and makes OCD seem like a monster attacking, terrorising an individual.
I say this not to devalue ERP in any way, I totally see how ERP can be helpful to some individuals with OCD. At the same time, for those who are capable of abstracting OCD from its seemingly personal offensive nature, something like ACT should work very well, too. We do not usually take all the issues (hurricane, storm or even COVID 19) all that personally, even though they might be terribly disruptive and upsetting for us. OCD is not all that different from extreme cold or heavy rain, we just need to be able to see beyond the illusion of its personal nature.
Thanks for your informative videos and this opportunity to share.
Hi Katie, I totally understand your advice, however applying some of these techniques to taboo sexual thoughts (which homosexuality isn"t) I feel plainly disgusted. Do you have any advice on such cases?
Yes - we are helping you to not engage with the content therefore you can effectively expose yourself to any thought however taboo it is because it’s simply a thought (albeit one you don’t like and is deemed taboo). I will make a video about this soon.
@@23katied Thank you so much!
@@23katied do you have any email? I like to write my problem to you
@@23katied I am a male from Bangladesh
Is it possible to message u directly... ?
I had the ultimate accidental exposure therapy today. A friend of mine basically said I know you identify as.....but this thing you like only.....people like in my experience. And I thought well how silly that liking something is linked to your orientation and also....hey! Maybe I am.....
It was awful. But I did it. And more importantly I didn't end up wanting to set the thing I liked on fire. 😂😂😂
I am so confused as my therapist said this was ocd and I am not and people with any themed ocd don’t realise they are but are you suggesting this can be true for all ocd HOcd, harm ocd, PoCD and can people realise this is true because you stated below people could have ocd around there sexual orientation and realise they are Gay when I was told by over 6 therapists that this is just ocd and I wast gay. I was with my ex girlfriend for over 10 years And she believed this meant I wasn’t and so did my family. Have we got this wrong Katie. So confused could you help. Can someone realise this is true as we were told highly unlikely and never some said never heard of a anyone realising there fear of any form of ocd was true. Sorry for the repeated messages just a bit confused now
Just elaborating on the earlier answer for you:
I did hesitate before answering your other question this way as I was concerned this might add to the confusion.
Let me put it this way - how can a therapist know whether you are gay or not? Obviously they can not. The bottom line is you can obsess over anything and it doesn’t mean it is definitely not true. For example I had a patient who had ocd about her relationship - constantly thinking about the idea she was with the wrong person. My job is not to tell her whether this is true or not but rather to help her to stop obsessing so she can actually do what is right for her rather than determined by her ocd. As she got better at letting go of her obsessions she actually decided to break up with her boyfriend - not out of fear but out of choice. Similarly I have worked with a young man who had obsessions about his sexual orientation- he now knows he is gay - this makes it hard for him to treat his other obsessions as unimportant information as he thinks if one obsession could be ‘real’ then his other obsessions must be real too.
The bottom line is it is very common for people to obsess about things that they feel are not true of them, however that is not always the case. Therapists should not be telling you you are not gay as firstly how can they possibly know your sexual orientation and secondly when they do this they are engaging with the content of your obsessions which is unhelpful. instead a therapist should be helping you to stop obsessing about the problem so that you can get on with your life whether you’re gay or not. If a therapist keeps saying you’re not gay then the sufferer is simply going to end up using that as reassurance and that will help maintain the cycle rather than break it.
I am just so confused as over 6 therapists have said this isn’t anything to do with my sexuality or denial and these are intrusive thoughts and I am not Gay. Just really confused as 2 of the therapists who were ocd therapists were gay and they said I wasn’t and it was just OCD and that it. You mentioned it can be true so what about my incest thoughts and PoCD thoughts can they be true Katie as you mentioned in the message below they can be. Shouldn’t people be aware of this this can be true because they are led to believe this means there are not and need serious help if PoCD and Incest Can be true. Hope this make sense. I am just so confused now as all my therapists that I have previously worked with said ocd thoughts are intrusive and not true.
@@lister11811 it’s true it’s nothing to do with your sexuality but you are confusing two things - one is your intrusive thoughts that mean nothing. The other is your sexuality with is totally separate to your ocd. The thoughts don’t mean anything therefore can’t mean you are gay or not gay.
I think I am understanding now but over 6 therapists told me this was just ocd and I wasn’t Gay Katie that’s the truth. This has destroyed by 10 year relationship with a girl and then when you said you helped someone realise they are Gay completely sent me on a downhill spiral. I spoke to my therapist and she said it’s the same for all ocd themes they believe these things are true when they are not but need to learn to disregard them. When you said you helped someone realise they were gay how was it ever OCD then when these are labelled as intrusive and unwanted?? Just getting a bit confused on the matter with other themes like PoCD and harm ocd can people realise they are these things then because how can it be OCD if therapists say you are not these things. From a reassurance point of view I understand but if they were to hear they could be this and believe it then could cause huge distress and start believing they are of someone says that. Is that what happens they have to accept the could be this to get better?
So can my PoCD and incest thoughts be true then for people. I am so scared right now as my therapist said these were all Intrusive and nonsense and not true
So the idea is that you treat all the thoughts as nonsense. There’s no point at all in engaging with the content about whether or not they are true. The bottom line is no one can tell you for sure if things are true or not - you trying to find out this answer is exactly what is maintaining your ocd. You have to learn to act as if they are not true and love with the uncertainty.
@@23katied is this also true for hocd?
@@23katied please answer, I’d really appreciate it!!
Yr live time?? Link please
Visa problem ???
Will this help and accept the possibility that we could be Gay then as I thought this meant we weren’t? But confused Katie
The context in OCD is irrelevant. However it doesn’t follow that because you obsess about something it definitely isn’t true. It’s very often the case that people obsess about something because it feels out of character for them but that is not always the case. So you can obsess about whether or not you are gay abs be gay. Treatment should not involve a discussion about whether this is true or not.
i am so confused as i was just told i wasnt and was OCD Katie. so can other OCD themes be true then like pocd and harm ocd
@@23katied and how do you figure out then if you are indeed gay and your intrusive thoughts were true?
Hello???
👍👍👍
So this are just thoughts. Thank God I’m not going to be gay. Now I can eat my lunch.
I am definitely straight hahahaha. It is an obsession ejet b rase because of the environment not because i am gay . I always joke around being gay w be2raf mn el shabeb w 2yora nya2 gay porn ana hala2 i am making a disgusted face so stop thinking about it. If you think about it you become more uncertain you know