You two are really going far! The way you’re working together is out of this world! Transparency is everything. Varsity sweethearts that know exactly what they want! You are lucky to have each other! May God continue to bless you! 🙏🏽❤️
Was literally in the same situation recently before I got married to my partner . Both my parents have passed so I had to put my foot down and tell my family that there’s is no way we are wasting money on a lobola ceremony for people that have passed . So our traditional wedding took place on my Mom’s side instead.
I feel like we even need to visit this lobola culture in itself because it was created during an era where women were objectified and many families to this day forget that lobola is a form of thankfulness , gift giving and relationship building. Instead some families captalize on it and take advantage of the younf couple. No one ever things to pour back into you guys and gift you guys for your new life together instead of making it about themselves. I wiah we could find a way to simplify it , make it more affordable and simply make it be about the relationship building more than anything else
Yhooo Gugs, this just broke my heart I don't wanna lie. I think that certain traditions are unnecessary and unfair kamampela. Imagine if a couple that is trying to survive and don't have such finances, would that now mean they can't get married?? No wonder most couples these days don't even get married ba kipita fela cos wow. Nonetheless, I'm glad kudlulile and you guys eventually got what you wanted for your relationship to grow. I'm happy for you both and CONGRATULATIONS 🎊 🎊🎊
This was absolutely a great video, to witness a young couple being grounded in wanting what they want despite the odds, super proud of you two and all the best for the future ------ it looks hella bright!!!
Congrats again. I'm happy that you both took your culture into perspective for peace. You can maybe ask an elder why they practice certain things. I can't wait to see your pics.
You guys are funny 😁"People observe culture when it suits them." Yeyi, that's a word and then some. 😩So true about there not being a good reason for why things should be done in a certain way, if at all. Your hair looks gorgeous, Gugu🥰Loool African culture has indeed been remixed. African culture has lost its essence and now it's a case of whoever is the eldest or has the most power, doing as they want and their word is gold. We need to revisit these things as the younger generation and be the change we want to see with our traditions and cultures. And yesss that your partner is NOT the enemy but rather that the situation is and you need to work together to make it through. Having a plan is important because you can alter a plan versus when you don't have one to start with. Thank you both for sharing these gems with us!
Thank you for sharing your journey. I truly agree ukuthi iCulture iyagqilaza. My partner and I also had a challenge with the Lobola process as uncles wanted things to be done a certain way ... we were lucky our parents were supportive of us not uncles so lobola went through without the uncles but with Obaba(dads brothers) it caused so much tension and disagreements. I thought we'd never reconcile but we did. People practice culture in a way that's convenient to them. So we choose what works for us always and have no regrets.
Hey Gugu 🌼 this was a great video. Super insightful, I don’t know if you’ll remember my husband came up to you two at Gateway a few months ago 😅 just as you were paying for the car parking. I kinda noticed you weren’t all that happy Gugu but I also was just excited and geeking over seeing you two. In hindsight, I imagine this is what must have been heavy on your minds. Zulu culture can be very selfish shame!!
I remember babes , just outside the entrance near sportsman warehouse . By then bezikhala babes , we were just drained emotionally and financially nje .
This outstanding lobola issues can become an extreme sport to families that are strict on culture and tradition. Some even when a woman has passed on while living with a man in a vat n sit situation or partly paid they will start with lobola negotiations before dealing with funeral arrangements. Aai! kunzima can we have these things in a school curriculum so that we know in advance about cultural expectations?💁♂️
You can say that again! Most of us have a situation around the day🤣🤣 I actually have mine too. Never felt bold enough to share it on my channel because I didn't want to offend anyone
I wanted to comment on the last video but I decided ukuzibamba because I was so heartbroken on your behalf. The tradition that the family wanted to performed was not it! 👏🏽🙌🏽😭 Also, why didn’t they tell Gugu all along, I mean they could see that she’s grown, they could have hinted to her that she or her husband might experience something like this. 😕
When your man's said people pick and choose which elements of culture they want to follow. I resonated with that coz that's what I've beeeeeen saying. Before I didn't know that this was a thing. This happened to my aunt. Mind you she's been legally married for 30 years and some change. So her man's grandparents and parents (who have passed) hadn't done their own traditional wedding. So they had to pay for the wedding of their grandparents and parents before they could have their own.
Video request: can we have Tsepo give us an idea on how to go about budgeting and saving our money maybe in percent or generally "he doesn't have to use his finances" just random examples... can he please teach us more about taking care of our money... please consider this
It was a difficult one. I was going to tell my family to allow me to be married and they take my lobola money and paid the lobola they owing to whoever they owe. Aowa not my problem at all. Congratulations love always wins.
Yoooo this was so sad to hear. So now your husband must take out money so your dad can marry your mom? Tradition will have people disrespecting our parents because imagine what your inlaws think about your family.
Unfortunately our tradition is based on pagan practices which makes our lives very difficult. I also got married to my varsity sweetheart. Me and my partner are both born again Christians and our parents are not. They want all these traditions which doesn’t make sense. We put our food down paid lobola and signed at home affairs. My mother also had a kind wedding which they paid themselves and other many many ceremonies are outstanding which I made clear that I am not going to be involved
Honestly families structure culture to suit their means ngeke. I thought when a male marries, Kant umama hadn’t gotten married such takes place. The man marrying off his mother before he gets married. Yoh
For your next video, can you please also touch on what changed your minds on getting married? I think I remember an earlier video where y’all said, you were more than happy with being life partners. Even buying property together. I mean of course everyone is more than entitled to changing their minds 😅 I’m just wondering if it had any encouragement from family or friends?
Eiy nkosi ngoba convenient cultural "processes" are a joy killer❤️. Im glad you guy got through it together. And needing our families blessings is what I believe our families tend to abuse!!.
African culture is just too much shem..One thing after the other..Some things don't even make sense ,went through that 5 years ago getting married and even now and then a 'new' thing appears that we need to do culturally..its exhausting especially on our emotions and finances
Cultural practices are wonderful if they are practical and if they assist in bringing families together, without hampering on the couple and if it will not be a financial burden. Cultural practices are man made, so they can change with time. Abantu have just blurred culture with greed and have missed the purpose that it needs to bring and build this family that is coming into being. All in all, I am for Cultural practices, but it needs to build and not destroy. Umshado wabantu was more of a family thing than a man thing. It's the family that came together to give ilobolo, and it was nit the woman's family that came with a bride price, it was the man's family that came with whatever they could afford to the family. That is how I understand it. Furthermore all these other practices, truly, if they don't fit your lifestyle, it's better to let it go. As a married woman, my mother is late and had divorced my father by the time I got married,and so I sat him down and told him what I expect of him. I didn't do any of the practices I thought were not going to benefit me and my husband and our families had to understand that. If the family wants to add other things, then they must fund it. Kwaphela.
And one of the saddest parts is that a lot of our families are not open to having reasonable and realistic conversation about such. As soon as you bring it up you get labeled people saying things like "you are whitewashed" etc Culture is so beautiful but there are definitely some discrepancies.
Thank you for having me" yoh Tshepo nge drama. 🤣🤣🤣 Yeah culture igqilazana kakhuku shame. Yoh on top of the marriage there was imbeleko and ukubikwa umuzi. 😭😭😭😭Damn that was too much yoh and financially banikhamile unnecessarily if I may say considering it's not even something the both of you wanted or really understood. 🥴 But I love how Tshepo says he agreed because he loves you, ncoah man.🔥🔥🥹😍♥️ "By us through you." 🤣Because you are the one's that needs things done, ja eish. 🤣🤣🤣 I think culture is now more of what suits the particular person obekiwe ukumela umndeni ezintweni cause some requirements in this culture thing just don't make sense and are really just personal preferences zalabo bantu or them wanting to excersize power over you. Excersize power comes in when someone enforces something they wouldn't or doesn't do yena endlini/muzini wakhe but wants others to do it in the family ngoba ephethe. That's why as a couple now in this day and age you then would/should be able to establish what you would like to participate in culturally and what you wouldnt as a family or in the family you want to create, and be firm in that decision so that you don't get bullied into doing things or feel compelled to ever. Yes coming together as one Gugu to say no we are not participating in this and hayi ukuthi asihloniphi abadala or asinandaba but it's just not something that aligns with you because ngempela nigcina nilwa nowadays ngento ebingahlangene that much nani because of family expectations. Also there's those threats ke zabazali ukuthi if this and that is not done akuzuhamba kahle lol. I say threat because sometimes you don't even believe in lento that you HAVE to do. Family ruins things hey. 🤣 Glad you guys overcame all that stress hey. ♥️♥️♥️
You two are really going far! The way you’re working together is out of this world! Transparency is everything. Varsity sweethearts that know exactly what they want! You are lucky to have each other! May God continue to bless you! 🙏🏽❤️
Glory to God 🙌🙌🙌🙌❤️🤗I love them 👌
❤the way I get excited when I think about how they've been inlove from those varsity days...these 2 are just the best
Nothing formed against this couple shall prosper like honestly ❤️🤗❤️
Was literally in the same situation recently before I got married to my partner . Both my parents have passed so I had to put my foot down and tell my family that there’s is no way we are wasting money on a lobola ceremony for people that have passed . So our traditional wedding took place on my Mom’s side instead.
RIP to your parents. Congrats to you and new beginnings .
I feel like we even need to visit this lobola culture in itself because it was created during an era where women were objectified and many families to this day forget that lobola is a form of thankfulness , gift giving and relationship building. Instead some families captalize on it and take advantage of the younf couple. No one ever things to pour back into you guys and gift you guys for your new life together instead of making it about themselves. I wiah we could find a way to simplify it , make it more affordable and simply make it be about the relationship building more than anything else
Can't wait for the lobola video. 💃💃💃 I'm also low-key hoping we'll get bits and bits of glimpse (📹) into how things went. 😍🥺😅
💗
Yhooo Gugs, this just broke my heart I don't wanna lie. I think that certain traditions are unnecessary and unfair kamampela. Imagine if a couple that is trying to survive and don't have such finances, would that now mean they can't get married?? No wonder most couples these days don't even get married ba kipita fela cos wow.
Nonetheless, I'm glad kudlulile and you guys eventually got what you wanted for your relationship to grow. I'm happy for you both and CONGRATULATIONS 🎊 🎊🎊
You guys look so good together, so cute😭
This was absolutely a great video, to witness a young couple being grounded in wanting what they want despite the odds, super proud of you two and all the best for the future ------ it looks hella bright!!!
🤗🤗🤗
Congrats again. I'm happy that you both took your culture into perspective for peace. You can maybe ask an elder why they practice certain things. I can't wait to see your pics.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
😭😭😭 Ahhhhh! It wasn’t only ilobola lamama kanti! You guys went through it!
You guys are funny 😁"People observe culture when it suits them." Yeyi, that's a word and then some. 😩So true about there not being a good reason for why things should be done in a certain way, if at all. Your hair looks gorgeous, Gugu🥰Loool African culture has indeed been remixed. African culture has lost its essence and now it's a case of whoever is the eldest or has the most power, doing as they want and their word is gold. We need to revisit these things as the younger generation and be the change we want to see with our traditions and cultures. And yesss that your partner is NOT the enemy but rather that the situation is and you need to work together to make it through. Having a plan is important because you can alter a plan versus when you don't have one to start with. Thank you both for sharing these gems with us!
Love this so much. ❤❤❤
Umthandazo uGugu awuthandazile Nkosi, nami ngisho njalo Amen!
🤗🤗🤗
Congratulations guys😍😍😍
Thank you babes ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing your journey. I truly agree ukuthi iCulture iyagqilaza. My partner and I also had a challenge with the Lobola process as uncles wanted things to be done a certain way ... we were lucky our parents were supportive of us not uncles so lobola went through without the uncles but with Obaba(dads brothers) it caused so much tension and disagreements. I thought we'd never reconcile but we did. People practice culture in a way that's convenient to them. So we choose what works for us always and have no regrets.
I can soooooo see Gugu in a lab coat. Our tiny lady concentrating at the lab 🤗🤗🤗
🤗🤗🤗
Hey king and queen!!!
Hey Gugu 🌼 this was a great video. Super insightful, I don’t know if you’ll remember my husband came up to you two at Gateway a few months ago 😅 just as you were paying for the car parking. I kinda noticed you weren’t all that happy Gugu but I also was just excited and geeking over seeing you two. In hindsight, I imagine this is what must have been heavy on your minds. Zulu culture can be very selfish shame!!
I remember babes , just outside the entrance near sportsman warehouse . By then bezikhala babes , we were just drained emotionally and financially nje .
Your marriage is such a testimony 😍❤️
Thank you friend .
This outstanding lobola issues can become an extreme sport to families that are strict on culture and tradition. Some even when a woman has passed on while living with a man in a vat n sit situation or partly paid they will start with lobola negotiations before dealing with funeral arrangements. Aai! kunzima can we have these things in a school curriculum so that we know in advance about cultural expectations?💁♂️
The process can be frustrating nje
I’m excited to hear about the lobola 😂😂 there’s always a story around that day. I can’t wait to also share mine on my channel.
You can say that again! Most of us have a situation around the day🤣🤣 I actually have mine too. Never felt bold enough to share it on my channel because I didn't want to offend anyone
Please share babes
Share babes . Silindile
@@GuguMazibuko 🤣🤣🤣 ngizozondwa oMalume abathile.
Glad to have you back Gugu. Absolutely adore you.
I love you lots Gee. May God bless you and the hubbs
the real issue here is that the family decided that you could afford to do these things😭😭😭 sorry shame! Glad you got through it!
Hay babone imali ayikho lonto
Love y’all 🫶🏼
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This was soo lovely congratulations on your marriage Gugu
I wanted to comment on the last video but I decided ukuzibamba because I was so heartbroken on your behalf. The tradition that the family wanted to performed was not it! 👏🏽🙌🏽😭 Also, why didn’t they tell Gugu all along, I mean they could see that she’s grown, they could have hinted to her that she or her husband might experience something like this. 😕
Exactly my point. Yhoo, listening to this got me so mad I don't wanna lie.
When your man's said people pick and choose which elements of culture they want to follow. I resonated with that coz that's what I've beeeeeen saying.
Before I didn't know that this was a thing. This happened to my aunt. Mind you she's been legally married for 30 years and some change. So her man's grandparents and parents (who have passed) hadn't done their own traditional wedding. So they had to pay for the wedding of their grandparents and parents before they could have their own.
It's rough babes
Video request: can we have Tsepo give us an idea on how to go about budgeting and saving our money maybe in percent or generally "he doesn't have to use his finances" just random examples... can he please teach us more about taking care of our money... please consider this
Watch the space babes . We are cooking this video .
It was a difficult one. I was going to tell my family to allow me to be married and they take my lobola money and paid the lobola they owing to whoever they owe. Aowa not my problem at all. Congratulations love always wins.
Is it culture or tradition? 🤔🤔🤔I always get the sense that these terms are casually used or intermixed with each other.
Yoooo this was so sad to hear. So now your husband must take out money so your dad can marry your mom? Tradition will have people disrespecting our parents because imagine what your inlaws think about your family.
Hayi bamthathe i advantage u Tshepo akho lonto apha ngo tsotsi sans
Unfortunately our tradition is based on pagan practices which makes our lives very difficult. I also got married to my varsity sweetheart. Me and my partner are both born again Christians and our parents are not. They want all these traditions which doesn’t make sense. We put our food down paid lobola and signed at home affairs. My mother also had a kind wedding which they paid themselves and other many many ceremonies are outstanding which I made clear that I am not going to be involved
Power to you girl . Pity I couldn't escape some of the things .
Honestly families structure culture to suit their means ngeke. I thought when a male marries, Kant umama hadn’t gotten married such takes place. The man marrying off his mother before he gets married. Yoh
It was rough babes
For your next video, can you please also touch on what changed your minds on getting married? I think I remember an earlier video where y’all said, you were more than happy with being life partners. Even buying property together. I mean of course everyone is more than entitled to changing their minds 😅 I’m just wondering if it had any encouragement from family or friends?
Video loading
So if my parents decided to lay-by each other as a kid you must carry their baggage before you can get married?! yo kwaze kwanzima
By us through you!! 😂😭
Eiy nkosi ngoba convenient cultural "processes" are a joy killer❤️. Im glad you guy got through it together.
And needing our families blessings is what I believe our families tend to abuse!!.
I alwys say to my husband iwish we could go back emjolweni things were easier when it was jst u and me...now that the familys r involved it sucks😀
Things are soooo much easier emjolweni
African culture is just too much shem..One thing after the other..Some things don't even make sense ,went through that 5 years ago getting married and even now and then a 'new' thing appears that we need to do culturally..its exhausting especially on our emotions and finances
They just make the process frustrating at times.
Ukukhula kunzima 🙆♀️
Cultural practices are wonderful if they are practical and if they assist in bringing families together, without hampering on the couple and if it will not be a financial burden.
Cultural practices are man made, so they can change with time.
Abantu have just blurred culture with greed and have missed the purpose that it needs to bring and build this family that is coming into being.
All in all, I am for Cultural practices, but it needs to build and not destroy.
Umshado wabantu was more of a family thing than a man thing. It's the family that came together to give ilobolo, and it was nit the woman's family that came with a bride price, it was the man's family that came with whatever they could afford to the family. That is how I understand it.
Furthermore all these other practices, truly, if they don't fit your lifestyle, it's better to let it go.
As a married woman, my mother is late and had divorced my father by the time I got married,and so I sat him down and told him what I expect of him. I didn't do any of the practices I thought were not going to benefit me and my husband and our families had to understand that.
If the family wants to add other things, then they must fund it. Kwaphela.
Arg you guys are so cute
❤️❤️
And one of the saddest parts is that a lot of our families are not open to having reasonable and realistic conversation about such. As soon as you bring it up you get labeled people saying things like "you are whitewashed" etc
Culture is so beautiful but there are definitely some discrepancies.
Girl! Honestly ! Being black sometimes comes with so many Burdens and hardships that aren’t really necessary
❤️❤️❤️🛎🛎🛎
Thank you for having me" yoh Tshepo nge drama. 🤣🤣🤣 Yeah culture igqilazana kakhuku shame.
Yoh on top of the marriage there was imbeleko and ukubikwa umuzi. 😭😭😭😭Damn that was too much yoh and financially banikhamile unnecessarily if I may say considering it's not even something the both of you wanted or really understood. 🥴 But I love how Tshepo says he agreed because he loves you, ncoah man.🔥🔥🥹😍♥️
"By us through you." 🤣Because you are the one's that needs things done, ja eish. 🤣🤣🤣
I think culture is now more of what suits the particular person obekiwe ukumela umndeni ezintweni cause some requirements in this culture thing just don't make sense and are really just personal preferences zalabo bantu or them wanting to excersize power over you. Excersize power comes in when someone enforces something they wouldn't or doesn't do yena endlini/muzini wakhe but wants others to do it in the family ngoba ephethe. That's why as a couple now in this day and age you then would/should be able to establish what you would like to participate in culturally and what you wouldnt as a family or in the family you want to create, and be firm in that decision so that you don't get bullied into doing things or feel compelled to ever. Yes coming together as one Gugu to say no we are not participating in this and hayi ukuthi asihloniphi abadala or asinandaba but it's just not something that aligns with you because ngempela nigcina nilwa nowadays ngento ebingahlangene that much nani because of family expectations. Also there's those threats ke zabazali ukuthi if this and that is not done akuzuhamba kahle lol. I say threat because sometimes you don't even believe in lento that you HAVE to do. Family ruins things hey. 🤣
Glad you guys overcame all that stress hey. ♥️♥️♥️
I was drained by the time we did lobola
I hate that my partner and I are currently going through this. I think parents use culture for their own benefits and it’s so annoying 🥲
Andisani thandi man🥹I went/still going through a similar situation and I’m so over it 🚮
Askies babes , I share your frustration. 💗