A Toolkit for Confidence: How to Build UNSHAKABLE Self Confidence | The Mel Robbins Podcast
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- Опубліковано 12 чер 2024
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In this episode, you are getting a brand new definition of #confidence.
This definition is based on research studies on how confidence is built.
Confidence is not what you think it is.
It is not a personality trait you’re born with, and it’s not reserved only for extroverts.
Confidence is a skill that anyone can master.
And today is the perfect day for you to start.
Confidence is your birthright. You can’t lose it; you just lost your connection to it.
Let’s get that back.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you'll learn:
00:00 Intro
01:17 The question Heather asked about confidence that so many of you have.
07:02 This is a “doing podcast," so here’s your first assignment.
09:19 Your new definition of confidence that embodies the research.
13:52 Here is one of the simplest and yet profound reasons for my success.
20:30 Feeling like an imposter? Great! Here’s why.
22:34 Alex’s question led us to talk about Myth #1 about confidence.
25:15 Myth #2 about confidence needs to be laid to rest.
26:20 Telling yourself that you lost your confidence? Then listen to Myth #3.
29:11 Use tool #1 to interrupt your self-doubt and do what you’re afraid of..
31:17 Confidence does not come before action; THIS does.
33:11 Rule #2 is fun; research says it’s the fastest way to create new habits.
35:45 Rule #3 is absolutely essential if you want to build confidence.
38:33 Rule #4 is what I tell myself every time I’m about to do something scary.
41:05 I don’t want to come to the end of my life feeling this.
45:06 Do you like this person you’re spending your life with?
49:37 This is the hard truth about life that you need to hear.
Listen to the #podcast episode "Toolkit for Building Unstoppable Confidence (According to Research)" - link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=e...
#confident #beconfident
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One thing I want you to take away from this episode is that you CAN become more confident. If you enjoyed today’s talk on confidence, please hit that like button and subscribe. Your support is always appreciated!
I am listening to this podcast and feel anxiety at the thought of building my confidence. I want out of a 30 year marriage with a narcissistic spouse. How does a retired person that is trauma bonded get past the anxiety induced panic and stay focused in the process of building confidence?
Confidence is build
In order to build confidence you have to try
Courage light ups confidence
You have the willingness to try new ideas and new things
When you feel you don’t have confidence you are only stucked in the feelings
Here are 6 tools
Tool 1 > must take action
Tip : count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and go!
Stop thinking and start new things = even if you are not perfect at it
- Even if you do not feel comfortable you are willing to try
- You can tap into courage before feeling the confidence
It is an act of courage first and then confidence comes
- There’s 2 types of people
People who think what to do/ And the ones who take a step and push into it
Tool 2 > When you tremble think of I had more confidence what would I do?
Get yourself out there!
Power of alter ego
- Reframe your Mindset
What the new version of me will do?
What is the worth try it?
Everything you do in life is preparing you to a new version of you
True confidence is forged in fire 🔥 and all of the pain is necessary to build a new version of you
Tool 3 > Be willing to fail and learn
I choose not to stay in a place of self doubt > life is always preparing you for something
Pain and lessons are forged to teach you a new version of you
You have to be willing to fail > and try new things
Tool 4 > Follow your curiosity
I am going to follow my curiosity and to grow and learn to take risk and I’m willing to do that
Tool 5 > In a middle of every failure has equipped me with the lessons and the scales
Tool 6 > Social media detox :
Curate the accounts according to how you want to feel in life
Curate your dreams and try to stay curious
Let social media be your aligned to your dreams
Focus on you and get serious in what you feel into your life
Only follow people who make you feel good
Your attention is the key 🔑
Does what you post create confidence and you can be yourself?
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1@@holmes592
It' likes the way you would eat an Elephant: one bit at a time. Ciao from Italy! 💕
I love listening to Mel talk and I like her way or approach, but I'm really surprised how little mention is made of the book womens magic truths on borlest, it's the best thing I've read lately. Huge recommendation!
does this lady even know how many lives she' s impacted so far or how far her impact goes ?? bless you Mel and thank you for being you !
I guess she doesn’t ❤❤
Mel has made me create a UA-cam channel just to comment on this video.
May the Almighty bless you abundantly for the impact this single video has made in my life.❤
I was always great at everything I did until I got into a bad relationship in my mid 20s and once I survived the domestic violence it was like I was stuck in that same head space for almost ten years. I stopped going places and got so depressed I didn't recognize myself. Became a drug addict and then I overdosed while staying at home with my 3 small kids. While this is embarrassing to tell anyone. I'm tellin y'all this because I'm in a place now were I'm no longer depressed. It all starter by changing my thinking. When I noticed a negative thought I would do the Steve Harvey thing and thank god for something and have an intentional thankful heart. Of course there is more to this story but now I'm watching Mel Robbins and you have no idea how much your trying has changed my life. So thank u to the Mel Robbins who was scared to get on video and do a podcast but tried anyway. She's the real hero
You survived domestic violence, not surprised you got depressed to the point of substance abuse. So happy that you are coming out of this dark time in your life…keep going..it gets better… love and hugs .❤🤗
From another human who’s fought out of a dark place, I’m proud of you.
Anytime I’ve compared myself to others, I’ve felt less than. Until I realized that the only person I should compare myself to, is the person I was yesterday. No matter what you compare, you will always find someone richer, better looking than you, has a nicer car, has a better (fill in the blanks). And it's totally pointless. When I began focusing on the idea of going to bed better than I woke up, basically making sure that throughout day I do things that make a better version than the one who woke up that morning, then life really began to change for me. Focus on you and your own progress. Run your own marathon!
So true. Thank you
Building unshakable self-confidence takes time and effort, but it's absolutely worth it. Here are a few tips: 1) Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, 2) Practice positive self-talk, 3) Surround yourself with supportive people, 4) Step out of your comfort zone and face your fears, and 5) Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Remember, self-confidence comes from within and it's a journey, not a destination. Keep working on it and you'll get there!
Thank you ❤❤❤
Love from Portland Oregon
Just found you ! Thank you for your real talk
This was very informative and I look forward to listening to more great videos. Thanks 😮
power of confidence : ua-cam.com/video/-w4i44m4Vpc/v-deo.html
Starting a business at 59, listening to you Mel is so inspiring 🙏🏻 thank you
How is that new business going
Awesome! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
That is excellent! At 55 over here, in the midst of rebuilding the foundation under mine. Mel has been a big part of my personal growth. Glad you're here!
It's never too late. I'm 57 trying to build. You got this..🙏🏿
Congratulations 🎉
OMG Mel! I started this episode thinking "yea thats easy for everyone else, noone knows what its like to have a severe blushing problem anytime anyone talks to you" and OMG at 18 minutes in, I was shocked when you talked about your experience blushing and turning red anytime you were called on or talked infront of people. I needed to hear this more than you will ever know! Thank you!
Mel, this podcast is mind-blowing. It just turned my world upside down.
This stuff should be taught in schools.
You have no idea how grateful I am for this content. ❤
In two weeks I am about to start a new job and this is exactly what I needed to hear thank you Mel ❤
How's your job now? 🥰
Today morning I got up early and did what I was struggling to do for a long, long time. Four hours of intense work. The one thing you said: 'No one is going to do it for you' kept on looping in my head. Thank you Mel.
35:03 thank you for impacting my life.
It's amazing man!
Fantastic Podcast Mel!! I lost my voice in 2013 and doctors didn't know if I would ever speak again! Years later, I realized it was the metaphoric loss of my voice in life that manifested in my health. Using our voice with Confidence is key in business and in life. Thank you so much for sharing your voice with all of us. Much Love and Gratitude, Renee❤🙏
Wow, so it was psychosomatic? Did you recover it?
Hi there 👋🏻 marry Christmas🎄 how are you hope you’re having a wonderful day 🙌❤️
God Bless You 💕🙏 Thank you
MEL ROBBINS YOU ARE GIFT GIVEN FOR US!!!
Thank you, Mel! You and your podcast is a blessing!
This is the best self-confidence message I’ve ever heard in my life. As a non-native English speaker living in Australia, I need it to hear this. Thanks so much, Mel!
You can do it! Just believe in yourself ❤
You're the best, Mel! After being laid off a year ago, I lost the vision of who I was. My confidence, my ability to dream went out of the window. Thank you for inspiring me to just try.
Love when you said "confidence is for all of us." Confidence truly can transform every aspect of your life.
Hi there 👋🏻 marry Christmas🎄 how are you hope you’re having a wonderful day 🙌❤️
I have been through two relationships that destroyed my self confidence and made me feel worthless.. this podcast has enspired me to get back to who I am thankyou!
It’s time for your happiness… go get it and stay away from relationships for a while. THEY made you feel worthless but you aren’t actually worthless. God bless.❤
Ohh me too! I have been there so I know how it feels! 😢❤thankfully look at us shining
I really love that we need to act confidently, instead of feeling confident :) So many of us focus on feeling good and skip uncomfortable 'act on it' part. You are an inspiration Mel!
'Confidence is willingness to try. It's a skill.' And anyone can try. It means everyone is confident because anyone can try. That simple elaboration is capable of illuminating confidence. Precious! 🙏🏻
That’s why I keep coming to Mel’s videos when I know I need that drop of magic boost to feel the best of myself!
I am in my 60’s and still taking risks. Scared to death sometimes! I wrote a book and a second book to be a companion, when it came to publishing I panicked and thought “oh no! We don’t have to actually put it out there do we?” Stepping out of my comfort zone a lot and at times I freeze and still want to hide, and yet, this is what I teach to others as well!
You’re an inspiration. I’m in my early 50s and in the process of reinventing myself. 🙏🏾
I read one time we teach best what we most have to learn!!! ❤❤❤ That's exactly what you are doing!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Dear @melrobbins I can't express my feelings of love and gratitude for many of the advice that you share with us. I'm in love with your empathy and how you want to sincerely help others based on both your own life experiences and scientific research. I might not be able to apply all your methods but I'm sure that every time I get stuck in a difficult situation or feel like I'm not confident I'll remember your podcasts!!!
I've been clinically diagnosed with OCD which has ruined most of life now, so I can definitely relate to most of what you preach.
I wish we could meet personally one day...
Mel, you are like my best friend I know that sounds crazy but really. I wish I found your podcast earlier. I needed to hear this today. I have to do a video for my sales job and I am a nervous wreck well I was but that changed when I was listening to this on my way to work so to say thank you isn’t near enough to show you my gratitude towards you and your awesome podcast. You are amazing!
When I was 10 yrs old I taught myself how to spin a basketball on my pointer finger. It seems my confidence was destroyed by me at 26. I'm pushing 40 and I needed this podcast
As someone who has been struggling with confidence recently at work, this video is exactly what I needed! I have never felt more willing to try! I think a big part of this is to accept that you will fail at times but to understand that failure is not a bad thing, just a part learning. Fantastic video! Thank you!
I love you Mel !! You have helped me so much show jumping my horse and with competitions .... you are just 'amazing' ... thank you for 'you' .... x
Mel, you are changing my life. Thank you ❤️ from a 24 year old mom trying to find myself
Just cried reading this. I’m a 23 year old mom we got this girl ❤
She is amazing! I have been following her for yearrrsss 🎉
That’s brilliant, imposter syndrome means you’re trying something new and you’re uncomfortable! I love it! ❤
Exactly woow
Confidence does not come from trying new things it comes after mastering something.
How can you master without trying?
Hi Mel… I want to say Thank you because after watching this video. It lets me 54321 face my fear and get the one on one interview. ❤ I feel “wow “ and did it with confidence. You are an Angel.
Awesome "willingness to try" is a powerful mindset... It´s something to invite you to jump into the uncertainty. Courage comes first and Confidence is built over time. Everything that you do in life now is preparing you for something that are not happen yet! Life is always preparing you for something. Thanks a lot!
Thanks Mel I so appreciate all your advice and all 💯🥰😇🙏🙌 Thanks
I just want to express my appreciation to you Mel, the way you discuss about confidence is just amazing and you increase our willingness to try new things and uncomfortable but the most importantly will make us better than we used to be
Mel, thank you so much for being you and putting yourself out there so we can learn from you! I love the idea of asking myself what a confident person would do. I need to figure out who my confidence anchor is, maybe it’s you!😊❤
I love all things Mel. Period. THANK YOU FOR EVERY WORD!
Thank you for being available here on UA-cam! You help me get through my days.♥️
I’m always willing to try and will have this in the back of my head going into work tomorrow. A job I was willing to give my notice at today. Thank you!
Superb.! Ma’am , You are the best speaker I have ever come across. Godbless you richly as you continue to inspire people like me battling with low self esteem and lack of confidence
Thanks for being so real, Mel. Thanks for the empathy, compassion and understanding. Thanks for your gifts of imperfection. Your wisdom, willingness and worth. More, please!!
Greetings from Denmark, Mel! I just want to say Thank you so much for this podcast. I was out running this morning and listened to your podcasts for 2 hours! They give me hope and comfort and I love that you share your own journey. Personally I am in a place where anxiety suddenly has become a big part of my life and I am trying so hard to move past it.. or embrace it.. or whatever I need to do. You have been in my ears a lot these past couple of months. Again huge thanks! Warm regards, Mai
Courage.. to try, to learn from failures, to laugh at yourself and not be scared of others, to keep learning and trying.. better and better each time!
That is exactly what I did with my social media last year @ 49:58 i deleted it, and made a new fresh one. It has changed my life. I now only follow ppl who align with my happiness and my goals in life. I don't follow any of my friends.i don't follow these Pop celebs either. I only follow ppl who genuinely motivate me for my goals and who inspire me. 🎉🎉🎉
That's exactly what I did, now I just follow ppl who motivate me
I've listened to most of your episodes Mel and I must say that this is my most favourite one of yours !!! ❤❤❤❤
getting out and eating/movies by myself was a major league confidence builder for me. I have a long way to go but this was so awesome.
Mel, you always have exactly what I need to hear. The synchronicities are always on point with you! Thank you always for you and what you do!
Hi there 👋🏻 marry Christmas🎄 how are you hope you’re having a wonderful day 🙌❤️
Mel, every time I listen to you, I feel like you speak to my soul. I cant explain how whatever you said, is exactly how I feel but I cant put it in words. Thank you for sharing your mind with the world. ❤
It's simply amazing! Hadar has been teaching me (and thousands of people) how to be more confident speaking English as non-native speakers! Some months ago, I couldn't speak a word, and now, I can have conversations about a range of things and aspire to new jobs and live in another country! And I listen to every video from Mel to practice my comprehension, vocabulary, and listening skills, and of course, to learn about how to live a better life! Thanks, Hadar and Mel! I hope to see you both in an interview on Mel's podcast!
Hello! At the beggining, I subscribed this channel because I wanted to learn English but now I am here because I am learning a lot of things about well being and it helps me a lot in real Life. Thank You very much Mel! You are an amazing person and You inspire me every day. Last days I refused a job because I didnt feel confident but now, because of this podcast, I understand what means confidence and in the future I will try to be more confident.
Love this Mel! Thank you so much!! I have always had low confidence. I've been looking for answers. This is so good. Love you and your podcast! Amazing! Thank you. 😍😊
This is one of the most valuable podcasts I’ve ever listened to.. and I’ve listened to a lot. Thank you for sharing your knowledge 🙏🏼
I asked the Universe to help me with building my confidence and here you are 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 Thank You Mel 💜
I have always been the most unconfident person. I think mainly because I grew up thinking you were either born confident or you weren't but listening to this podcast has given me encouragement that I can and will be confident from now on because I am willing to try! Thank you for such a great video Mel!!!
yep thanks Mel. your whole mood and excitedness makes me feel good about myself. thank you for bringing whole of u to the podcast..
I love you Mel. You are helping me. I feel great when I listen to you and you say you also overcame those dark phrases I really see hope. Cause I am going through a journey where I really feel so hard to keep the consistency. It is been 3/4 years. I really wanna be with you 24 hours. Pray for me. I lost so quickly and affected by things.
Thank you Mel for bringing up this topic. It is so helpful💜
Thank you so much!! You’ve changed me with your beautiful videos! I’m learning so much and changing my life because of you! May god bless you Mel! I love you so much ❤❤❤❤
Mel is absolutely awesome. So grateful for what she advocates and teaches…..
👏👏🙏
Listening to this I'm way more confident then I thought I was. I've been confident for quite some time. I thank God. Thank you for sharing Mel
Mel, regarding video time at 33:45 where you begin to talk about development of an alter ego: Up until a bit of vocal cord damage a number of years back before the pandemic, I was learning to sing solo in front of a group. I sang at church and tried to get into a quartet but they wouldn't allow me to do this to learn. So, I started singing lessons and Karaoke. I met a man at Karaoke who was the Director of talent for a local theater group. Seeing my fear he suggested I create that alter ego. I created a character named Charlene who was fearless. It really helped and eventually I transitioned to using my real name. After years of singing in front of groups solo it also helped me to build speaking skills as I learned how to view the crowd. But, due to one incident I learned that turning it over to God can be massively freeing. My father died at 4 am on a Sunday. I had been up all night on watch at his bedside. His mind was gone and we waited for the body to also pass. Thing was, that night I was to give a 5 minute talk about what brought me to Business and Professional Women (BPW) along with receiving an award. Sad part was I was too tired to read the notes I'd written on flash cards for my talk. I simply could not read it or remember what I was to speak about. So, in front of the group I told them about my night. I then said I was turning it over to God to guide my mind and what I should speak about. The group seemed very attentive. Later a gal from BPW came up to me and said she had no idea that I was such a great speaker. That was a great moment. But, sometimes we just need to turn it over to a higher power. So, thumbs up - great advice - all of it!
I think she deliberately not involving god in her podcasts and uses science and research as god is a personal thing. But I agree with you we need higher power in the mix too
You are Phenomenal Mel, I just want You to know how much your changing and actually saving my mindset. My nervous system and I Thank You 🙏 ♥️
Thank you for this powerful message! I needed to hear about this toolkit and help me get through 2 major heartbreaks and continue through this life! You are inspiring and so glad you kept trying with everything in your life.
Wow, I'm reading this on a Friday after a big week of job search and it just gave the boost. Thank you Mel. ❤
Thank you Mel for your wise words. Confidence is my birth right.
Thank you Mel, I was made redundant from my job I held for 13 years in November. I listen to your podcasts nearly every day, they are helping me to build back my confidence and prepare for my dream job xxx
This was one of the best, if not the best, speech on confidence I've ever heard. Really, really fantastic. Thank you.
I am full time mother of two, living in USA from Mexico with broken English I wanna build my business online but no start yet to hear this really help me.❤
I absolutely LOVE you and the content you make for us all! You have no idea how much these episodes have helped. I listen to one episode a day and I’ve found myself applying some the tools you recommend. Love how transparent and unbelievably inspiring you are. ❤
You literally inspire me sooo much. You've confirmed I'm on the right path and I just need to keep trying!!! Thank you for being you and doing all that you do! You are amazing!
Inspiring and practical advice for building confidence and achieving success!
Confidence-willingness to try❤Love it so much❤
You are the best, Mel. Thank you so much for the work that you do! ❤
This is the most beneficial and inspiring content i have ever watched about self confidence. It really shifted my vision. Thank you very much.
Before confidence we need clarity. After clarity of how your going to complete the task or skill= confidence will be the byproduct. Love your podcast Mel ! ❤
Mel answered the question that has been bothering me for a long time. I thought I lost my confidence and don't have it anymore. Now I realized the reason for feeling low self-confidence is because I stopped trying and did not do things that previously enhanced my confidence.
Love you, Mel! Thank you for every podcast you make! Greetings from Germany❤
"Confidence ist the willingness to try" (Mel Robbins)
This is so cool. Just needed this today.
Oh I am a life-long trier. Never thought that this would make me confident.
So wonderful.
You are amazing!❤ just what i needed to hear..pure wisdom🙏❤
Thanks for giving a clear concept of confidence ❤️
All I can say is…Thank you so so much Mel. You have been a game changer in my life. Bless💕
Thank you Mel!
Every time when i listen to your video, i feel more confidence about myself, my career path and my future. I still practicing my English to have a better life for my whole family. I just want to say, you’re great
You are the best! Thank you for the inspiration in so many issues.
Thanks for sharing these powerful truths. Truly inspirational and practical.
Thank you for taking the time to coach us....love your words. My therapy
Thanks Ms Robin!
Can we talk a little about anxiety!
She has several awesome videos on anxiety, just check out her youtube channel
Mel, another great video and message. Thank you
. AGAIN.
Truly all her videos are so informational!! I really appreciate you Mel Robbins!
Thanks Mel for this episode!
I’m learning from you.. I’ve been following you for the last 3years and have been on the journey of get over my ex. 💔Rebuilding my life and starting over from scratch. You have helped me so much thank you Mel ❤️ I have literally seen you grow into your beautiful self.. I’m proud of you and myself.. it’s a great feeling.. loved this episode 🎉
Hello beautiful👋🏻 how are you doing? how does it feel to be the most prettiest lady around here? Love your smile by the way I just wanted to say hi hope you’re having an amazing day🙌🏻🙌🏻😊
@TravisJohann115- Hi there, gorgeous 😘👋 How are you? Lonely? Stop being rude and pestering women in the comments... thanks luv
I listen to her before I go to work everyday and when I come home as a lawyer.
She is going to be the voice of the 2020s . No bullshit, genuine stories about life and the human condition.
She is the aunt and the friend that we all need.
Thank you!
Building this confidence needs to be consistent: 1) be kond and with yourself 2) practice gratitude 3)always talk positively to yourself 4) choose who you surround yourself with! Your advice is epicc ❤
This video is a game-changer! So much helpful information packed into one clip. I personally don't like promoting anything in comments,
I love you, Mel, thank you for your messages, your time, your energy, and everything that you give to humanity, so that we can pull our big girl panties up and do this thing big called life! You rock! ❤
Love it! Thank you Mel!
So amazing that every time whatever issues I face in my life you get a video for that whether it is anxiety or low confidence low self esteem.Love you for that ❤️
You are such an inspiration Mel.
This is hands-down, the best description of how to build confidence I have ever heard
I will pray for you too. Keep preaching. I c your authenticity you inspire people thank you for obeying God
your podcasts awesome
Mel, I am so happy that I found out about you today, through Vanessa Judelman's recommendation to watch your Toolkit for Confidence! It has made me think about how I self-sabotage rather than take action. Your message was impactful and spoke to me. I definitely am going to willingly push myself to try repeatedly develop my skill of confidence, as I am worth it.