Why do alcoholics get so angry?
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- Опубліковано 20 тра 2024
- Addiction is everywhere... Lets change some lives!!!
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Jonathan League
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor - Licensed Professional Chemical Dependency Counselor
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Don't marry anyone with a drinking problem. 13 years later, I finally left last week.
Congrats, stay strong!
Why did you leave him ?
@@noahmontague9463 The final straw was him passing out in my young child's bedroom and barfing all over his bed, new carpeting, walls just everywhere! I came in and lost my shit. I told him to get the fuck up and clean this shit up now. He took me by throat and practically threw me across the room. First time to be physically violent. His eyes dead like pure evil. Like a demon had possessed him. I knew then that I would move on and find peace on my own. My little boy did not have a bedroom for weeks as I had to tear the room apart to clean it and have new carpets installed again. The carpet guy that came said this house looks familiar. Yes I had JUST done a makeover of my baby's room with new furniture, carpeting and bedding. It was the same carpet guy from when I did the initial makeover! I am not rich and it had taken a lot for me to do all that. When I saw what he had done to the room my son adored, my heart broke into a million pieces. Completely irreparable.
@@mammacita333 wow I am so sorry to hear that, you are incredibly strong! I pray that you will life a happy life and that you'll recover from these traumatic events.
@@sleepyhead7497 Thank you. I get my strength by praying. I hope anyone watching this video has the strength to leave an abusive relationship.
If you live with an alcoholic, get out today. If the person doesn't want to get better, it's not going to get better, only worse. Get out while you can.
The devil is in the bottle. It slowly takes away your soul.
alcohol turned me into a raging lunatic who was thrilled by violence.
Great explanation. People have to realize it's not them, it's the alcoholic who is the problem.
I wish I was single, I wish it so badly, that I am filing for a divorce. I cant take another year of having a drunk trying to steal my joy, every single day.
@WIll Marsh congratulations! I know thats not a small feat as I have seen someone get sober and day by day stay sober, she is thankful, proud ( and should be ) and is quite happy now with much to live for. A life is worth so much more not only the person suffering through the addiction, but those who suffer alongside of that person. Yes, you’re right, it’s what I have made my mind up to do. I was waiting for the world to open back up again! Thank the Lord it has or enough so that I have made progress just this week!
I’m feeling strength like I haven’t felt in awhile. Thanks for your comment and best wishes that you can continue 10 more plus years to live in prosperity and inner peace!!! ✨😊✨
Get out and don't look back
Good well done and congratulations on you. I hope that the alcoholic that you are with now will soon be punished for what he had done to you and one day he will go to hell where they belong.😇
Omg mad
I have not had a drink in just 7 days and im like so mad at every thing I have a problem and I no it must be hard to live with us we are so sorry
I'm happy being single lol
Same here
I'm a happy drinker my wife is angry drunk I hate it bro
Singleness definitely has its advantages!
Same here. I come home to my domain, and MINE only. Nobody can make it bad for me, only I can, and I don't.
Cheers! Lol 😂
My ex is an alcoholic. She's a MSW for addictions. I still love her, but for my health, happiness, and safety.... I had to divorce her.
R Post do you think we made them miserable ? I’m having a hard time dealing ,like maybe I could have done something different .i want to be there for my bf but I also want to let him go if he’s not happy with me
Your happiness is key to making a happy life. I found a new lady who has three beautiful girls that love me back. It brings joy into my life to be loved and respected. It's a new feeling which has turned my life around. I am thankful to have such an awesome family in my life now!!
R Post yeah true it’s just kinda hard cause hes my first love so it’s kinda hard to just move on but I know my health is falling Nd I can’t do this forever .im glad your doing better tho and hope for the best !
@@rpost4145 you sound like such a good man. I have 3 children and been thru a lot but never lost my love for others. My h abandon us for 3 years and never appreciate what I did for him and that I was happy all the time and just wanted to love him. He always said nobody else would want a single mom with 3 kids. So u gave me hope sir and thank you. Praying I find someone like this who loves me back if my h wont change. Bless you & your new family.
Yes, love will remain especially when its ones Sister, but you are saving your own self by keeping the joy that can be stolen oh so quickly by interacting with someone who has lost their way. Best to you and prayers that your sister can come to realize she is keeping herself from the joys of just living life simply. 🦋
Having a conversation with an alcoholic or a drunk person is just dangerous in my opinion.
Nothing worse than at a campground with jerks getting drunk and seeing in their eyes that they are angry. It can be quite unsafe
From someone who dealt with an alcoholic father. The drunk part was very annoying. The comedown was the scary part. That is when the demon is at its most dangerous. It temporarily turns good people with nice dispositions into pure evil and hate! The worse the binge the worse the comedown the worse the person (at the time). Anybody else experence this?
By "come down," are you talking about hangovers/withdrawals or simply when they're still drunk but sobering up?
A lot of people get around that second piece by going to bed at the peak and/or continuing on the next morning. Easy to see how the first set of items would make someone cranky though. That's highly unpleasant and can even make people psychotic and/or kill them (in extreme cases). So, not much mystery there.
Yes this made me panic thinking of lord he's worse sober ...
I started to understand my Father's behaviour a couple years ago once I met a couple of new people that were both alcoholics and had similar behaviour. I realise one pattern and that's when you try to talk or have the talk about their problem or tell them to slow it down a bit. They deliberately act clueless like they don't know what you're talking about so when you finally lose it and yell, then that gives them the licence to make everyone else the bad guy and have another drink there and then just to escape it.
Show them video recordings of them drunk and their pathetic behaviour. Cant deny video evidence of them being assholes.
@@rupertperiwinkle4477 wish someone did this for me everytime I act a fool of myself or another person. It would really help me analyze my feeling maybe idk.
@@Yxngsteezy You can wear a body cam on you and record yourself.
@@Yxngsteezy are you an alcoholic.?
@@syn8666 idk man I don’t drink everyday but I feel like if I did I’d be fine and capable of doing things but once I get a good bit over tipsy it takes control and sometimes it gets ugly when I’m blacked out
I am now still struggling with my partner--heavy alcoholics. Every time after drinking beers or vodka, he becomes so angry. Call me bitch, a piece of shit, a piece of garbage, rancid whore, etc. baby crying, he got mad; my food is greasy, mad; everything I did was a crime to him. Even I shut up sitting there, baby no crying, he came back home yelling at me so loudly. All the buildings can hear his terrifying voice.
You don't need to suffer that. But it is your choice to leave. Because only they can fix themselves. Sometimes leaving them alone is the best option. Alcoholism is a very powerful situation that effects whole families and can overwhelm a family. Everyone likes to think they'll will be the hero or reason for someone to change, hoping love will overcome, but sadly love for the bottle holds better comfort.
I just barely made it out of the house again with my alcohol addict less than an hour ago. He snapped several times. I feel it’s more of a psychosis when he really gets angry and it’s a deep, painful psychosis for him. But he snapped and was starting to manhandle me…yelling up in my face, grabbing my jacket, pulling me into his angry, bitterness. He just kept coming as I was trying to get out the door….grabbing my head and shoving, throwing me into the couch. I made it to my car and guess who wasn’t done. His Mom came out and said the neighbors called the police. He bolted back in the house. I’m telling ya…I have got to stay away. God protected me one last time! I don’t get this psychosis. It’s very disturbing and not just an angry intoxicated person with a mood swing. It’s fricken psychotic! His whole demeanor changes….very very destructive!
I understand..I'm so sorry. I hope you're ok
My brother is doing this too. So angry. I feel like he could almost kill someone. And I also feel like he's trying to find a way to actually harm someone else/take his anger out because he's getting into arguments with friends and telling me he's going to fight them just because they said something? Civilized people don't punch people over a comment. Grow up.
@@flawlessstrategy9972 Yes and all you can do is step out of his way. I’m so sorry! This guy is still 24/7 binge drinking only to self-detox for two days then dive right back into drinking. They are very dangerous. All I can do is pray for his Mom and hope he gets the help he needs. They won’t seek therapy because they’re smarter than the therapist. (Wink). I have stayed away! Enough for me!
I grabbed hold of my fathers neck and I punched him in nose. I dont feel necessarily good, but I dont feel to bad about it either. He was being abusive and vindictive and I feel I gave him what he deserved. I just despise alcoholics
So sorry to hear that your father treated you so badly. I hope one day your father can recover from his addiction, and that there can be healing in your relationship.
@@JonathanLeagueFamilyTherapist I hope so too
I wish I could do this
My stepfather came over to my house, drunk and uninvited. I told him nicely to leave and he pushed me down, kicked me and pulled my hair. I am an adult now and had to put up with his emotional neglect as a kid. So he did this in my house.. luckily I have a German Shepherd and he bit the crap out of him, making him stop. The volatile political times are making my stepdad even crazier and angrier than he always used to be due to FOX News and alt-right news, allowing him to feel able to spew his anger out, even physically. I am an idiot, forgiving him as usual because he will never change. I just am not close to him.
@@lynncohen2897 Im a Trump guy myself. But I get so fucking pissed when drunk dipshits like my father make normal Trump supporters like me look bad. I got so angry to the point where I beat him up again and he was crying saying "please stop" in a slurred alchie way. I hate that fucker with all my being
My husband is an alcoholic and I hate his guts for what he puts his family through. He's not even a happy drunk, I don't even know what he gets out of it. He says he works hard so he deserves a drink and he refuses to admit that he has a problem
I feel like he’s drinking his pain away you should take him to therapy that isn’t normal and if therapy isn’t working it’s best u leave before it’s too late
@@marlonlora4175 he's actually cut down since then and things are better x
@@Ipot4me the first sign of an alcoholic is that they will not admit that they are an alcoholic. AA meetings they all say their name and then say they are an alcoholic. Unless he admits it then he's a lost cause. They can only help themselves. My husband still drinks every night but gets up for work so it's okay then??? They can lie to everyone including themselves but they can't lie to their liver. It's mental torture living with an alcoholic, but just remember, you are not on you're own, we are trapped financially and with kids. People say leave but it is not that simple. Try and record him when he's drunk but my experience they are that far gone that they just done care, drink comes first end off.
@Average User No I'm great to be honest things are going well.
Maybe it's your breath
I came to notice that I drink to release repressed angre.. and I feel like that's what a lot of addicts do
Good luck kindly telling your loved one they have a problem. Leave before it’s too late.
I think people often use their drinking as an excuse for their actions. I think sometimes the alcohol is just exacerbating certain parts of an individual’s personality that was already there. Persons a jerk becomes huge jerk, selfish to ridiculously selfish, angry to raging. Not saying all cases just something I’ve noticed.
Amen my friend or who I though was my friend started attacking me while I was driving grabbing the wheel he was drinking he was black out drunk almost made us crash I put that thing in park and just started punching him in the face until I could get out his response the next day was I was drunk like messed up
I don’t, when I do dumb shit I just accept it, being drunk isn’t a real excuse, I decided to put it in my body and am responsible for my own actions
Your intuition is incorrect. Alcohol 100% changes perceptions and mood very acutely. Used over time, alcohol depresses the nervous system and can cause literal depression. Saying an alcoholic is just inherently a violent or mean person is to completely ignore the extent to which addiction is changing their personality. The mantra of "I'm a happy drunk" is used by some to rationalize their own addiction. The CDC recommends that anyone who doesn't drink alcohol never start. Recent research has shown that the only safe amount of drink is none at all. It is time for society to treat alcohol the same way we treat tobacco and hold the bars and the "beverage" manufacturers to the same standards. Ie. No advertising, not in ANY public places.
@@batglide5484 right
@@batglide5484 Alcohol has destroyed my family!!!! You are so right!
My brother started this. The beer was OK but he started drinking liquor again and becoming hateful. Then demands that I talk to him all the time and gets hateful on the phone, then texts me hateful things when I don't answer. Eventually I had to block him just to get a bit of peace. He stills posts online about how it's everyone else's fault. Never apologizes either - if he even remembers, but the texts are still there for him to read. I'd be ashamed.
It's so hard! It's so hard to ignore him and not talk to him when you know he's lonely and he needs help but there's nothing I can do! i will not be abused! My life has been terrible since this began, and thoughts of him, and this, consume my every moment. It's like my life, happiness, and sanity have been stolen!
Then other alcoholics and drug addicts join him in enabling each other, saying how can anyone judge them, and whatever. I guess that's enough. I'm not gonna even start to talk about every detail of this never-ending drama.
I saw this video a good while back, it seems, and still I was thinking maybe it
is a mental disorder, or drugs, but maybe it is just the liquor, or all of it.
When he's sober he knows what he's doing is wrong but he goes right back.
I felt like if I didn't answer the phone he'd hurt himself. That's a very heavy burden. And it gets heavier when you don't want to answer - when they tell you all their problems, and the same thing for the 25th time, and then, just snap in the middle of a call and become Satan and verbally abuse you!
OMG! I have the exact same issues with my alcohol addicted brother.
Imagine how it is when this is your adult child. It is unbearable yet never ending.
Very well said, explained my sister’s behavior perfectly. 😢
When it comes to people like that, those who have anger issues and under the influence, not a good idea to go on a camping trip or the cottage with them because they will ruin your fun, also certain people shouldn't be allowed to drink any alcohol because of health reasons and or anger issues etc.
Alcohol has been my biggest enemy over the past 6 years. I’m 34 days clean and am working the steps with a new sponsor. It’s been great going to AA meetings and hearing people share their experiences which are similar to mine.
Hope your still going strong 🙏🏻💪💚🍀
If you have medicaid, monthly vivotrol injection is what works for me. Look into it. It really works miracles and if you keep getting the shot you WILL stop drinking. I hope Aa is still doing the trick though
how are you holding up brother?
You are awesome for doing the RIGHT thing...carry on.
My dad was a working alcoholic…never had money for food, heat , electricity and sometimes even water….do yourself a favor and stop drinking..he died at 57 and one of my brothers followed suit and died at 49…..best of luck to all who fighting this disease…
My father was exactly the same. He passed away in his early 50s and we never had a positive relationship. It made him a hateful person.
I used to be a happy alcoholic for 4 years every day hammered drunk dispite the hangovers i was a drunk mechanic all the time all day and always did a good job people would always talk to me and id enjoy conversations from stressful situations people deal with dateing life to sex life advice i was always happy to help or pick up extra jobs
when i got divorced i slowly turned into a bad guy i sold drugs for crooked cops and my body for money i started bar fights and stabbed 2 people and didnt like talking to anyone anymore i just wanted to be alone and would get angry at everyone for the most part and i became homeless and just barely getting by with selling drugs and selling myself i didn't have anymore friends and i ending up shooting myself after seeing my ex with another man they got married
People say im lucky to be alive ive been 2 years sober afterwards and on a clean path I hope the best for anyone else dealing with the same situations I like to share my story because I never thought I'd get this far and want you guys not to give up like I did at one point
This video was great because it reminded me what a true alcoholic was. Someone who just hit the bottle alot at parties and act a little strange, sometimes get too wasted that they crying about their exes while their head is in a toilet bowl, But when sober can just be chill by themselves aren't alcoholics and they don't have a problem. The things described in this video the abuse and violence reminded me of my father when I was younger, Just power hungry, cowardly violence on innocent children and the woman he was supposed to say he loved. All because they didn't get their high.
Alcohol is no good man. That shit had me, I wasn't the kind that drank every chance I got, I was the type that when I did drink? I didn't stop. One is too much and 20 is not enough kind of shit. Went sober 4 days ago. The night before that was fucked up, I don't even wanna go near it anymore. That was the first time EVER I got violent from being drunk. Finished a whole bottle of vodka and next thing I knew I was fighting my gf, my parents. It was a fucked situation. Me and her are still together, relationship is on edge and I'm making dramatic changes in my life. Not just for the relationship but also for my health, for a new way of life. I'm done destroying myself. I want people on here to ask me days from now, weeks, months, even years from now if I'm still sober so I can show that it is possible to change your life. I'm in the healing process right now. Tuesday I'm moving back to Colorado, cutting the umbilical cord. Joined some support groups, have new influences in my life such as Ryan Van Duzer, Steve-O, my cousin who has been 8 years sober I believe. Learned the thing about being sober is to help other people who want to be sober, stay sober.
just stumbled across your comment and just wanted to say that I've been where you are and know how it feels very well. I'm currently working to change for the better. I hope you're doing good these days.
Hi Louie. It's been three years since your comment. How are you doing?
Being a human is difficult.
@Default User I actually have a phobia of frogs.
You can try being a toad
@@julianayala1561 I'll try.
It is for sure
Life
Problem is when people drink their inhibitions are lowered. They are angry and pick fights. I can tell ppl that starting a fight when you are drunk is never a good idea especially if your opponent is sober.
This was my dad. He stopped drinking eventually, but had already lost my trust and respect forever. Then he was on painkillers (this was before we knew about opioid addiction).
I couldn't be happy or feel joy. At some point I knew how, but forgot after being berated for it. He couldn't be happy, so I was wrong for feeling happy or wanting anything. Went through the same thing with my ex before I saw what was happening and got away. Still don't know how to find the right balance. I'm either doing too much or not enough.
I applaud and emotionally support any former addicts/alcoholics seek help and overcome their addiction. And I try not to judge others. It bothers me when it hurts children, physically and mentally, or anyone who can't get away from a toxic environment. They're not enablers, they're victims 😭
My father was the same. Eventually he quit drinking. But you can't erase the first 10 years of my life being beaten and cursed all the time. He destroyed my will to live. He never acknowledged what he did. So I basically cut contact with him.
I have read a lot of the comments below. I saw alcoholics after they have been arrested, booked, charged, and jailed. I have sent some from the jail to a hospital for a detoxification protocol. Others go through withdrawal in the jail, observed by staff for potential complications, or possible need for medical intervention via detox units. Some have asked me whether they will get out because they didn't remember the crime. I have to tell them then that they need to talk to their attorney. When hard pressed, I advised them that not remembering a crime doesn't mean that you won't do the time. So much damage to so many people. And, yes, you WILL do the time. The prisons are full of alcoholics who chose to pick up a drink. That was a choice. The legal repercussions can, and often do, lead to long sentences. And, a huge number of alcoholics never get out until they go out in a coffin. For those of you who live with an abusive violent alcoholic, hear this loud and clear. Your alcoholic spouse may go to live the rest of their life in prison. You may not live at all.
Good video, and quite accurate too.
A friend of mine is an alcoholic, and spends an hour or two every day telling me how mad he is about all the things going on around him.
And it never ends, a continuous cycle of being mad at all the same things, day after day.
His usual saying, "This has got to stop!"
But he is referring to all of the people in his life, and the things they are doing that bother him.
But he doesn't think that getting drunk everyday is no doubt the real problem in his life.
Yup! They blame everyone and everything around them except for themselves!
@@Kitkatluv33 Again, that is a very accurate statement.
Tell him that his drinking is the real problem. True friends tell each other the truth, not just what they want to hear. Better an inconvenient truth than a comfortable lie.
@@stacybynum3389 Well, if it was that easy, there would be no alcoholics.
It is a very complicated situation to deal with.
In my experience, many alcoholics barely admit they even drink, let alone have a problem with it.
If there was an easy solution, an easy fix, then videos like this one would not be necessary.
But sadly, it is a huge problem.
My step father is an alcoholic abuser. He has been drinking and smoking for 52 years and still going. He is 65 years old now and has the signs of kidney and liver disease along with alcoholic dementia. He does not believe he has a problem. He yells and complain many times but the next day he does not remember anything he said, or says he never said that. He is considered a stage 4 alcoholic.
"He does not believe he has a problem."
True denial is actually not terribly common. More often, an unwillingness to talk about something is mistaken for it. Also, even if someone is willing to talk and does so, this cultural belief in denial causes people to wrongly assume there must be more to the story because there must be basis for denial.
a person who needs simulants or depressants to be happy have no self-control.
stay far away from them
Last Wednesday my 40 daughter blacked out on alcohol and Kradom. She’s often threatened me but that night severely beat me. I’m terrified, depressed and traumatized.
What about when they get so drunk they wake up in the middle of the night in a insane rage out of no where ?
It’s weird because my mother gets angry when she drinks but my dad gets super emotional and loving almost like a teddy bear.
Can’t wait to move out I can’t stand my dad I just wanna be happy
alcohol and drug use cover underlying psychological issues beyond the scope of a D&A councillor
Nothing can make them Happy not even Sex.... Lol😆😆😆😆
Well said they get married to alcohol.
Why !!! Okay I've been married for 6 years wife is schizophrenic and have bipolar when she drinks she only gets angry . Yes I love drinking but I'm a happy drinker and naturally happy without drinking . She's angry sober and drunk she basically hates life never happy always sad stories . I just had a birthday she wakes up crying about something that happened 15 years ago horrible birthday 🤦🏾♂️ but all because of her
Sex is a fleeting moment in time, after you have your orgasm you don't care anymore.
Just had a fight with my father who was drunk tonight. I finally yelled back at him for the first time in my 31 years of existence. I'm tired of this. He's the main reason why I don't want to marry and have a family. Lol
Oh darling I am so sorry for you.😇
Same thing happened to the great boxing trainer Freddie Roach. His father would come home and beat the living hell out of all his 7 children and even Freddie's mother. His mother told him "Never get married", and as of now he's 62 and has never been married nor fathered children!
I'm here for you ☺️ love ❤️
Addiction is like this. You're a baby crawling and someone shows you to fly and you never learn to walk. 10 years go by and the flying around is draining your life so you have to go to walking...but you cant do that before you go back to before you were even crawling because you forget how to crawl let alone walk. So you tell yourself ..well...I can still fly but just barely as your a couple feet above the ground bouncing off of everything
It's not possible to have a conversation with alcoholics. Yes they have to take a step and fix their own problem but if it gets to the point where they are drinking until they pass out, like my brother puts it, I have to lay down now, and they forget pretty much everything that said which means there a blackout drunk and choose to attack even without provocation, then the only choice is to go no contact. Especially if they also have the disease of narcissism. It's devastating having been the one attacked by someone that I thought loved me. It's no completely then destroyed by alcoholism and whatever that portal opened up two. I think people are wide open for other forces like dark Forces to enter when they are taking themselves out of Consciousness on a regular basis. Meow
Sorry to hear you were hurt by someone you love. Alcoholism is a form of evil.
@@JonathanLeagueFamilyTherapist thank you for such a compassionate reply. And I agree in fact that's what helped me put it down. I used to drink quite a lot, and by that I mean those big Tumblr drinks half full of vodka. And it just kept coming to me that it was a doorway to dark force energy and I researched it under that title and found a couple of things. And then one night I was in front of a liquor store and called a friend who knew about a process and took me through it and 10 minutes later I had pulled away and did not want anymore. Over the holidays this last year was painful enough that I did start drinking but couldn't maintain it. And the last couple of days after I put my kitty to sleep I had abir one night and a couple of those tiny Bailey's over some ice cream. And didn't want any more than that it's interesting. Usually if I drink one thing then I want more and more. So that process was a true gift and drinking now has a choice 2 hopefully relax or distract myself but it'll never be the same and I've been blessed. And people like you in the world restore my faith in humanity. Thank you.
You just wrote a whole esay
@@kioo0r What was your reply? Not seeing it now
If ONLY the person would take time to fight for themselves, get out of the dark and perhaps find a minute to look within spiritually they will find strength and it would slow the rush toward satisfying the cravings, as the slightest bit of time can greatly reduce the urgency of that need to do whatever it is you crave. I do believe that God is there to lessen ones sorrows, if they would only take mere mins to ask for help.
You are 100% correct. Ive noticed this with my Grandfather, he gets drunk every chance he gets, and then at times wants to fight. Thank you for this video
Best explanation one whole of YT. Finally I understand what I always thought about this and why he's always acting out on me. Wish I understood the meanness of alcohol addiction earlier. Thanks Jonathan for this vid.
Dude. You are leaving out the fact that most addicts are very disturbed and low empathy, from childhood abuse. This internalized anger is unleashed when they do downers.
Thats almost always the case, they take out their frustration of the past on those they’re closest to, they just cant reconcile.
True
So they still shouldn’t do that shit to other people
@@jaaaanee1316 I never said they should. That wasn't thr point of my comment.
I like how Jonathan explains what happens to the brain during the process of addiction. If only they could teach this stuff in school maybe by age 8 -10 about how your brain doesnt need that. Music, physical fitness, dancing, sports, arts, crafts and healthy competition is what kids need. We need to protect our kids and teens from these unhealthy people and situations! Be too busy for drugs and alcohol!
Thank you for this.
I have been internalizing my husband telling me while he is in a drunken rage how miserable I make him. This helps me feel less disappointed in myself as his wife. Maybe I'm not a miserable person. Maybe he is just hurting and angry with himself.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Annie Grace put out a video addressing the myth of “in vino veritas.” They’re not necessarily speaking their truth.
I have been watching a lot of stuff about alcoholism and how to overcome it and I must say this was an excellent one.
My mother is an alcoholic. I don't really care about her though, I've got to stop talking to her and get her out of my life. Everything revolves around her somehow. Everything about dealing with her is just maladaptive and nasty.
I'm the alcoholic, I'm not angry but I am very disruptive and I hate it.
Hi Jonathan. I wish I found your channel 40 years ago. I'm so glad I found it!! Thank you, buddy.
OMG. THIS IS IT! Right here. Thank you for explaining this.
I've listened to a lot of advice about addiction I have a husband that is an alcoholic and mean But you gave the best advice I have ever heard so far thank you for that
don’t forget that people who drinks too much often doesn’t get the right sleep REM and makes them more cranky
I was often heavy drunk but it never ever occurred to me to be aggressive and start fights ...
I've watched a lot these and this is the best explanation I've heard.
I have a family member who does all of this and worse and it's ruining her life, and she's pushed everyone away.
Thank you for this video!! You helped me understand alot about my alcoholics. Do you ever get into narcissism and alcohol abuse? I'd love to understand more about that too. Thank you for all you do.
I’m 20. I used to drink occasionally around when I was 18 I wasn’t an alcoholic but once I turned 20 I wasn’t in the alcoholic pit that I’m in right now today is 02/29/20 and to this day I get blacked out drunk every time I get fucked drunk I get violent I’ve came close to laying my hands on my own father and
Mother. Alcohol is a true devil. It’s disappointing to say that I’m a 20 year old attending AA meetings
Sorry to hear it got so bad so quickly. I'm glad you are getting help!
I feel you brother, same here 26 started drinking at 18 and now blackout and getting angry.
Talk to God even if you dont think you believe in him. Best to you at getting control of your life again... its worth it and you can do it! 🙏🏻😉
22 here, I get black out drunk and get into fights and get super angry.
Oh ya bud... you are on point!
Very nice work! Very well explained!
And dead balls on accurate!
Thank You!
I feel bad for saying this but I hate alcoholics. I understand what’s happening this them but I just can’t stomach being around them let alone helping them. How do you get past that kind of hatred?
It is very difficult to move past hatred. It's a personal journey of learning how to not let the choices of someone else influence the way you feel and think about yourself.
Nyeema Bailey personal thang
Just have to leave them alone even if they are family...some toxic people can ruin your life and everything going on with your own mental health
Agreed, but I don't think there is much choice being made by a brain that lacks impulse control. Those who are most prone to becoming addicted to any substance have a history of trauma and abuse, which has been shown to completely rewire the reward pathways of the brain.
Micah Buzan I’m sorry just because someone is more prone to something doesn’t mean they have to be alcoholics. It’s still a choice. I’m so tired of people making them the victim when alcoholics go around terrorizing those they say they love. It’s infuriating. What about us? I could choose to drink and throw up my hands on life too. I
So true some people can be saved others don't listen my dad's a drunk and cocaine addict he has a warrant I hope they arrest him.
I'm dealing with anger and alcohol. I love my family with all my heart but my anger and alcohol is tearing it apart. It's around every 2 months my anger drives to drinking. I say things to the people I love. Sober I'm not that kinda person. I will help anyone in need but when alcohol and anger mix I act totally stupid. I'm trying my hardest to stop completely
Jonathan thank you for this video, I sent my boyfriend your website.
I'm 36 I've been with my partner for ten years, I myself have bpd and it's taken me years to understand my triggers but I'm now in a place where I'm getting better and my partner is spiraling down with alcohol abuse and he has been since I met him and I'm just realizing this within the past few years. His addiction has started to make my bpd progress go backwards because he refuses to stop drinking and I'm sure he's doing drugs. He hides his bottles and every night comes in drunk from work he stays up all night and sleeps until he has to get up for work and gets to with a very bad attitude. We have resorted to sleeping in separate bedrooms. I wish I had someone to talk to but thank you for your video and I've sent your website to him.
Hey dear,I know of a powerful man who can heal and deliver your husband from every spirit of addiction permanently and your man will never go back again...message him on WhatsApp for help (+2348144358180)or via email healowaemay@gmail.com
As once a great man said,CHOOSE LIFE
I thought maybe she meant the anger. There's a thing that happens to alcoholics - these old bitter resentments come back. All this unresolved stuff comes out. I was wondering why is that - why does the alcohol tap into all of this unresolved stuff? It always comes flooding out when you're drunk, and that's how you can tell an alcoholic. He's the one who's just miserable. Talking about something that happened 10 years ago that you can't even remember. Why does the alcohol pull all that stuff out? That's what I was hoping she meant. 😮
I was raised by an alcoholic stepdad who was a Vietnam veteran that was exposed to Agent Orange & scrambled his brain.
Because of that, I've become a raging alcoholic & have been hospitalized so many times. My family has abandoned me & I don't have a support system or any friends to help me. I tried to commit suicide September, 2020 - I swallowed 60 sleeping pills. I was placed in a medically induced coma & my stomach was pumped. I called my mom when I woke & all she did was scream at me over the phone & I hung up on her. I'm honestly all alone and I don't think I can do this much longer.
Try naltrexone
Hi Scyber. I hope you're doing okay.❤
What a great explanation!
The times that i have even acknowledged to my elderly sister and husband that they may have a drinking problem (chronic alcholism) they have become even more angry at me. I have no other relatives left ...they are it. They can be mean as snakes to me and concider themselves functioning . I really dont care for them any longer.
All alcoholics do not "get" angry. Alcohol brings out the emotions and feelings that are already inside. People who cry and are depressed when drunk but happy when sober are actually depressed. Same applies to anger.
Wrong! Alcohol changes your brain chemistry over time to where u cant feel good without it.
@@dwdrumshdmotorcyclesvirgom7379 You are defending shitty people, stop it
@@dwdrumshdmotorcyclesvirgom7379angry alcoholoc ⬆️ ⬆️⬆️
I’d recommend for alcoholics in America to move to a state that has legal marijuana and substitute the alcohol for the weed. It will save your life. Trust me
I tried that conversation and got strangled.
Thank you for explaining this
You’re a life saver
This is my story.... literally... Thank you💜
Mine too
If he drinks and is always angry at home means he doesn't want to be there. He's not happy with family life. But he doesn't want to leave the family. He's forcing himself to be there. But deep inside he wants out.
I lost someone that I thought was my person ... to a freak accident death. I drank myself into a stupor but then I remembered how he pulled me out of this exact situation and he told me every single thought and helped me through loss. He'd never want this for me. I just need to get my life back. It's actually as easy as I'm saying it too. Alcohol literally to me has just been a thing to pass time while i hang out with friends. I wish my friends didn't include alcohol on every chill session. I feel I need to prove to myself that I don't need to drink when I'm with friends. I'm just not sure if I'm doing myself an injustice by asking them not to drink when I'm there or vice versa. Thoughts are welcomed and appreciated.
📌 Pass the time with a glass of fresh UNspiked lemonade or lemon water. If they try to get you to have booze with them, they are probably not your real friends and you need to learn to be solo until people who will become real friends enter your life…which may be a while.
I’m currently going thru a situation I’m scared to talk to anyone about it but i got drunk bf and sober bf, each day it’s different depending on the amount he drank
leave while you can
im a 3rd Dui convict, unless he wants to change or take time to listen to you avoid it be happy elsewhere
Coming from a drunk rehab is a joke if he doesn't want to stop I would say leave him and see what he does he could get worse or clean up his act me I didn't and regret all of it every day now all I have is that bottle it doesn't lie cheat or call police its awful but its probably the only friend I got just keep in mind he don't need to be like me he needs to be the one you love so give him a choice you and being happy or drunk and eternity of suffering
Always keep in mind that you can do better
Wow, this is exactly my ex- friend Tim. My cat & I had to get away from him asap. He became very very , loud, denile, blame me, assumptions, evil, verbal abuse!
Oh man....what a mess for a human.
I'm glad someone asked this question. Even after a person stops drinking how long does it to go for these receptors to rebuild themselves? I see this in a family member ...
For most people it takes around 90 days for the brain to return to normal functioning. However, it can take longer if the brain is more heavily damaged by the long-term use of multiple substances.
It's sad to watch and hard to be around someone who is addicted.
Say less he needs help. It’s not disgusting, I know it may feel that way but it’s an addiction and he needs real help and not judgment.
@@JonathanLeagueFamilyTherapist
It’s amazing how forgiving our body can be after people abuse them.
Very constructive information. Thank you.
My bf is a alcoholic and narcissist .. I only found out lately after 5 years we live tgt.. all the dramas , accusations, smashing things at home , fighting , trying to stop him from drinking ..and I feel like I’m stuck dun know what to do.. if I leave he would threaten me to kill himself and if I stay he would constantly continue his alcoholism and make my life so miserable.. I had my wallet all the personal stuff threw away when we argue about his drinking problems.. funny thing he can still talk on the phone with frds happily when he is drunk but angry to me .. I feel so weak n dun know how to handle a drunk person...
Thanks for all the comments , I left him after one night he was really drunk n upset with his frd. Comforted him for an hour later he accused me cheated with his frd. tried to run to bed but the end up got beaten til my nose broke. still keep begging me to come back but doesn’t accept what happened n twist it on me. not worth to give my life to the drinking issue anymore.. Thanks , I still hope he would change.
Fucking Leave
@@yasmineyee4173 Hey dear,I know of a powerful man who can heal and deliver your partner from every spirit of addiction permanently and your man will never go back again...message him on WhatsApp for help (+2348144358180)or via email healowaemay@gmail.com
@@yasmineyee4173 who cares if he changes? He’s a narc. He doesn’t care about anything or anyone but himself! Narcs can’t change because they can’t and never will see a problem with themselves!
Yasmine I can relate to your case because my bf is perfectly just like that
You're awesome.
Thanks man
This helped me understand what was going on in my last relationship thank you
I'm a happy drunk when I drink alone, but with my gf or her friends I get annoyed mind you she's 31 and I'm 24, idk if its jealousy or misunderstanding. today we had drinks with her friend everything was well then her friend mentioned her bf didn't wanna come due to an issue me and my gf were having a month prior. So I told her to tell him we can fight if he feels some type of way. 🤦♂️
This reasonates my sister blames everyone else
I’m healing from a man who I love very much being mean. He can’t stay sober. I mean MEAN. It’s never him. Insults daily it’s really awful.
My brother has a severe alcohol problem. I blame these liquors stores and/or grocery stores. If these stores stop selling beer, then people wouldn't be able to buy it. Thus, eliminating the alcohol use.
what a dumb and ridiculous mindframe are you 12? banning things does not change the fact that people use them, Alcohol is legal because when it was ILLEGAL people were smuggling it and drinking laced alcohol that people would overdose from. Hope I didn't use too many big words for ya, prohibition and the war on drugs only makes things worse, this is a literal statistic fact.
banning drugs and alcohol not only DOES NOT stop them from being abused, but it makes everything worse because the blackmarket is obviously far more dangerous than buying something from a grocery store.
They knew that was the answer a very long time ago. Society improved. Liver disease rates decreased. Many other benefits came with prohibition. Then they desperately needed the tax revenue following the Great Depression. Now our country is too far gone to care anymore.
This was soooo helpful. Thank you. I won't leave my husband. I am trying to set boundaries. But, feel like I am deserting him if I walk away from arguments with him. But, it gets ugly when I don't walk away. This video was very helpful.
Yep. Spend as little time as you can in their presence. And only discuss the weather.
I run into dry drunks often with coaches, teamates, teachers, employers and people who I wouldn't suspect that kind of nasty behavior from because their job is being a mentor. They become easily irritated, might lash out verbally, no patience, no empathy and no remorse for actions and we know this because the only acceptable apology is changed behavior. The behavior doesn't change. I don't have to put up with it but it if I walk away I wont get the service that I'm paying for, won't have a cool job that I enjoy. Putting up with poor behavior means disrespecting myself lowering my self worth, people pleasing and if I'm ever feeling down and out I will take it extremely personal and think that there's something wrong with me for them to treat me badly. .
Alcohol turns you into to a zombie that can’t walk, drunks are in search of an adrenaline rush or else’s they pass out. That’s my theory. The need to feel alive thus giving into anger.
Very naive to think that the (15-year) wife of an alcoholic, especially one with underlying anger issues, has anything left for 'self-care'. We often have to leave to engage in such a thing ;-)
So if someone drinks regularly, binge drinks on weekends and into the night …is it only a matter of time where they spend a few days after being difficult to talk to and angry? The guy I know is 38, has friends over every weekend drinking vodka or whisky until they pass out…then he’s rude, dismissive, totally ignores me like I don’t exist for the next few days. He has always told me he’s not mean when he drinks. Is this just all denial?
I’m an addict and alcoholic. I’m 19 and I went to A.A with my uncle 2 years ago and the people there were happy to see me there or they were just joking. They said “your not here for yourself are you?” I played it off like I was just there supporting my uncle but I knew in my heart of hearts alcohol completely takes control of me and I don’t want to let it get anywhere out of hand. Plz someone reach out to me since I can’t go back in person and talk to all of those old people who question weather I would be there for myself or not
Hey. I have been attending AA meetings for a long time. If you feel its a place you should be then give it another chance, don't let that one time sour you. If it was 2 years ago I'm sure it wont just be the same people. You could also try finding a different chapter to go to. NA and CA are good options too and they seem to usually be a younger crowd if that makes you more comfortable. But honnestly if you sit down in any club room and say "I'm ------ and I am an addict or alcoholic you'll be welcomed and someone will be willing to help you personally. Take care care I hope that helps you.
@@socialmediaaccount404 thank you very much kind sir I appreciate you :)
It's been two years since your comment. I hope you're doing okay.❤
Well put,,,,, love from +254 🇰🇪
Such a cool painting in the background. Did u paint it?
My Dad was such a dope guy but when he couldn't fish on boats anymore he took up drinking and would turn into a totally different person! I can stay a happy funny drunk for like 6 beers but then I start to turn into my Dad after that!
He wouldn't even apologize for breaking shit or putting his hands on us afterwards but u could tell he felt really bad bc he would try to be extra nice.
I want to know WHY alcohol makes the human psych angry even in intelligent and level headed people!
Bible says u can drink but if u turn into a drunk u won't enter into heaven. I think what it's trying to say is u squander potential and open urself up to the spirits behavioral influence! JUST ASKING QUESTIONS.
I recently ended long term relationship he got very abusive no kids with him i believe alcohol is worse substance. I dont drink or do anything i cant stand smell look of man drinking now...
Hey dear,I know of a powerful man who can heal and deliver your husband from every spirit of addiction permanently and your man will never go back again...message him on WhatsApp for help (+2348144358180)or via email healowaemay@gmail.com
Glad to here you got out and glad to here you don’t want anything to do with that type of relationship. Means you’re healthy. Sucks we all have to have bad experiences that obviously vary, but they teach us stuff too. Make us sharper and wiser.
When I drink I just get more aware and just really sad. :(
Well, I'm not, nor is my husband "ADDICTED" to drugs or alcohol, but I have wondered why some get SOOOOOOO CRAZY when they're drinking?!