I escaped an abusive household (especially mentally abusive) and now confrontation gives me extreme anxiety. I’m going to confront a boss at my job that has been mistreating me.
Due to all of the bullying I dealt with as a kid, I told myself, as an adult, that I'd always let people know if I feel like they're wrong, being abusive, etc. I usually avoid confrontation until I realize that there's no hope of them stopping their behavior unless I confront them. But like anything else; too much is too much...
dont blame outside things for your inside pain. You dont actually want to supress other peoples speach or behavior but your pain is tricking you into thinking you do study something on youtube called: non duality.
*- SIMPLY REMOVE THE FALSE BELIEF THAT YOU CANT WIN A FIGHT!* *- THEN REMOVE THE FALSE BELIEF THAT YOU DIDNT WIN THE FIGHT!* *- THEN REMOVE THE FALSE BELIEF THAT YOU WONT WIN THE NEXT FIGHT!* *- THEN CONTINUE TO BELIEVE YOU WIN FIGHTS BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER ANY FUTURE FIGHT!*
You know, that is easy to be said. When i was I kid I was so afraid of confrontation that bullies will humiliated me every single day, i felt helpless and wanted to commit suicide. My parents really did not help, but there are kind people out there that stood up for me ( God Bless them), that accepted me even with those severe vulnerabilities. I grew up to recognize my low self steem, and have worked for years to build healthy boundaries with toxic people, right now I feel confident of my self, learn couple martial arts and engaged in sparring every freaking week to stop being afraid. I started voicing my feelings and opinions out loud, definitely coming from a long way. But seriously, be kind it makes a difference
I was bullied and humiliated many times during middle school and high school, I was too nice and too afraid of confrontation, and had no guidance to help deal with those situations. I realize now that I grew up with low self-esteem, and it is my responsibility to be brave to stand for myself, set healthy boundaries, let go of the past and live my life to the fullest. To all kids out there in the same boat, talk to tour parents, talk to your counselors, always take care of yourself
Did you have narcissistic parents? It seems that your parents also did not provide any emotional support that could have helped you overcome your bullies and traumatic past. I experienced similar situation and it is the narcissistic parents and chaotic family dynamic that were conducive to the mental abuse and bullying in school and in society at a later age. The reason is because you are not taught to confront your bullies or to be strong emotionally and psychologically and even taught to detach from those people and situations. I reassess my past as well and the narcissistic abuse at home was what made me vulnerable to outside mental abuse and bullying because they sense weakness. Even today, as an adult, past trauma have taken a toll on my health and well being that people in the workplace sense my problems and are making more problems for me because you have become in a sense a punching bag to their frustrations and failures. Why do you think they never bother someone strong, whether physically or mentally, or even stronger? Hope this helps understanding your experiences.
A problem in confrontations is that as a default we assume that anger is naturally part of it. That is not totally unfounded because when you are angry, people might give in just because they feel attacked (which they are). That can give people an advantage who choose to be angry in confrontations (which is almost everybody). However, a confrontation is always about peoples interests seemingly colliding. Sometimes this can be resolved so everybody benefits. Sometimes one has to be fair and give in. Anger is not naturally linked to confrontations, negotiations. It's mostly an unquestioned belief. Removing anger from a conflict can also be a huge advantage as it can disarm someone who is usually getting their way using anger. If you are able to frame the situation so that you are not opponents but partners and it's not a conflict but a negotiations, not about how to get ones will no matter what but finding a solutions that is the overall best outcome, then very often you can actually get the upper hand.
i hear you! Whilst youre right- words can be hurtful, words can create a snowball effect that leads to violence- theres a distinct lack of tolerance on all sides of conversations nowadays. As a trans person, for example, i dont want you to be afraid to ask questions out of a fear you might upset me- i invite questions, so long as you respect me as a person. Whilst i think woke culture is- well, its heart is in the right place- people are expecting others to regulate their emotions for them. People need to be kinder to eachother, yes, but we also need to nurture ourselves. (I came here because i hate conflict but thought this was pertinent hehe)
Its the only way to go forward 😊 confrontation is a must do ? Not in a car not via you tube or any other social media tell all 👌 ask god for the courage to help you face your fear you will be just fine 💯 the other party cant do anything about it its you that has to take the first steps its got to be physical face to face i promise you it will be okay dont fear 😊 its up to you now 😊
Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Acts 4:12 And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household. acts 16:31 I accepted Jesus Christ, crucified and resurrected from death, as my personal savior. Blessings to you and your family in the name of Jesus. I hope that God will show you the truth and give you salvation.
I escaped an abusive household (especially mentally abusive) and now confrontation gives me extreme anxiety.
I’m going to confront a boss at my job that has been mistreating me.
how did it go?
@@riccardozanda8977 he/she died. RIP
It seems a lot of people who dealt with emotional trauma have big confrontation anxiety
INFERIORITY COMPLEX@@rageius
@@mikelisteral7863you seem like a fun he/she 😂
Due to all of the bullying I dealt with as a kid, I told myself, as an adult, that I'd always let people know if I feel like they're wrong, being abusive, etc. I usually avoid confrontation until I realize that there's no hope of them stopping their behavior unless I confront them. But like anything else; too much is too much...
dont blame outside things for your inside pain. You dont actually want to supress other peoples speach or behavior but your pain is tricking you into thinking you do
study something on youtube called: non duality.
@@mikelisteral7863And what if people are taking advantage of you or feel entitled around you?
*- SIMPLY REMOVE THE FALSE BELIEF THAT YOU CANT WIN A FIGHT!*
*- THEN REMOVE THE FALSE BELIEF THAT YOU DIDNT WIN THE FIGHT!*
*- THEN REMOVE THE FALSE BELIEF THAT YOU WONT WIN THE NEXT FIGHT!*
*- THEN CONTINUE TO BELIEVE YOU WIN FIGHTS BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER ANY FUTURE FIGHT!*
💪🏽
You know, that is easy to be said. When i was I kid I was so afraid of confrontation that bullies will humiliated me every single day, i felt helpless and wanted to commit suicide. My parents really did not help, but there are kind people out there that stood up for me ( God Bless them), that accepted me even with those severe vulnerabilities. I grew up to recognize my low self steem, and have worked for years to build healthy boundaries with toxic people, right now I feel confident of my self, learn couple martial arts and engaged in sparring every freaking week to stop being afraid. I started voicing my feelings and opinions out loud, definitely coming from a long way. But seriously, be kind it makes a difference
I was bullied and humiliated many times during middle school and high school, I was too nice and too afraid of confrontation, and had no guidance to help deal with those situations. I realize now that I grew up with low self-esteem, and it is my responsibility to be brave to stand for myself, set healthy boundaries, let go of the past and live my life to the fullest. To all kids out there in the same boat, talk to tour parents, talk to your counselors, always take care of yourself
Did you have narcissistic parents? It seems that your parents also did not provide any emotional support that could have helped you overcome your bullies and traumatic past. I experienced similar situation and it is the narcissistic parents and chaotic family dynamic that were conducive to the mental abuse and bullying in school and in society at a later age. The reason is because you are not taught to confront your bullies or to be strong emotionally and psychologically and even taught to detach from those people and situations. I reassess my past as well and the narcissistic abuse at home was what made me vulnerable to outside mental abuse and bullying because they sense weakness. Even today, as an adult, past trauma have taken a toll on my health and well being that people in the workplace sense my problems and are making more problems for me because you have become in a sense a punching bag to their frustrations and failures. Why do you think they never bother someone strong, whether physically or mentally, or even stronger? Hope this helps understanding your experiences.
Thank you so much for the video. I've been working hard to be less confrontational and this was very encouraging. Have a blessed day everyone 😁🙏🏽
A problem in confrontations is that as a default we assume that anger is naturally part of it. That is not totally unfounded because when you are angry, people might give in just because they feel attacked (which they are). That can give people an advantage who choose to be angry in confrontations (which is almost everybody). However, a confrontation is always about peoples interests seemingly colliding. Sometimes this can be resolved so everybody benefits. Sometimes one has to be fair and give in. Anger is not naturally linked to confrontations, negotiations. It's mostly an unquestioned belief. Removing anger from a conflict can also be a huge advantage as it can disarm someone who is usually getting their way using anger. If you are able to frame the situation so that you are not opponents but partners and it's not a conflict but a negotiations, not about how to get ones will no matter what but finding a solutions that is the overall best outcome, then very often you can actually get the upper hand.
Kill em with kindness. Costumer service/sales most of my life. It works wonders.
I'm always afraid because I think is all or nothing.
Rightly said
@@Roadmannerism-cc what about when you are dealing with irrational people which don't react to kindness?
i hear you! Whilst youre right- words can be hurtful, words can create a snowball effect that leads to violence- theres a distinct lack of tolerance on all sides of conversations nowadays. As a trans person, for example, i dont want you to be afraid to ask questions out of a fear you might upset me- i invite questions, so long as you respect me as a person. Whilst i think woke culture is- well, its heart is in the right place- people are expecting others to regulate their emotions for them.
People need to be kinder to eachother, yes, but we also need to nurture ourselves.
(I came here because i hate conflict but thought this was pertinent hehe)
I’m a young woman who has a huge fear of confrontation due to a history of abuse
Same with me. Idk how to make my life better.
Such a useful video to help us understand how to grow in this area
So basically face it? But slowly?
anyone have fear in heart before a conflict or geting into fight? like some stabbing in heart feeling? followed with fear ?
A nice guy talking
Its the only way to go forward 😊 confrontation is a must do ? Not in a car not via you tube or any other social media tell all 👌 ask god for the courage to help you face your fear you will be just fine 💯 the other party cant do anything about it its you that has to take the first steps its got to be physical face to face i promise you it will be okay dont fear 😊 its up to you now 😊
Awesome!
Do you have any videos about that warrior inside? Great video btw
Very useful, i agree on almost everything, except in using violent terms as battle, war, it promotes violence culture...
keep it up man! great content
You talken about the Problem, But not about the Solution !??
remove the false belief that you cant win a fight
💯 correct
I thoughts this was called mantox 😜
Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Acts 4:12 And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household. acts 16:31 I accepted Jesus Christ, crucified and resurrected from death, as my personal savior. Blessings to you and your family in the name of Jesus. I hope that God will show you the truth and give you salvation.
Jesus, why does it take you so long to get to the point
Was looking for insightful psych processes techniques not a politically-laden opinions
remove the false belief that you cant win a fight
You talk so much dude… I wish you could just get to the point or at-least shorten your sentence by not using smart/longer words