Beach Sheet Paranoid Schizophrenia
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
- Imagine being on a beautiful beach, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin and the sand between your toes. Suddenly, you start to believe that the waves are speaking to you, telling you secrets about the universe. You become convinced that the seagulls are watching your every move, and that they are plotting against you. The peaceful surroundings become distorted by your delusions, and you feel trapped in a world that no one else can see or understand.
Hi I’m Michelle Hammer. I have Schizophrenia.
Q&A with Schizophrenic, Michelle Hammer the founder of Schizophrenic.NYC The most awesome clothing and lifestyle brand created by a schizophrenic designer. (Link in bio)
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Now I’m in my living room trying to figure out if sand really would go through my sheets
I think if sand is going through your sheets you need better sheets.
@@arielanonymous7270 yeah I don’t think it would . But it could work itself through. You ever pulled carpet?
@@jakethedog4397 no, but the innuendo of that phrase is amazing. "You ever pulled carpet?"
😂😂😂😂😂
It wouldn't what's happening maybe is sand is on her feet and body also wind is blowing the sand into the sheet. It's the beach sand gets everywhere
this !! i'll ask my wife "did x interaction happen? i feel really hurt because i think that happened" and sometimes dont fully believe them when they say it didnt
Omg you must have so much trust in her! ❤
I would over think everything and not be sure if my partner is saying it didn’t happen because it really didn’t happen or because it’s an easy way to gaslight me. Why am I like this ? 🤦🏽♀️
Now I think back, if this is what its like, maybe it was true and maybe i WAS delusional, at the same time as I was being gaslit by family and medical. Dang. Interesting.
W chose to have a most interesting and challenging experience this life.
Happy to walk home with you all!
Good to know :)
One love, yall.❤🎉
Oh. I usually just assume I was dreaming.
I feel like this happens to me, no history of schizophrenia in my family that I know of (dad side unknown) but I feel gaslit sometimes because I have clear as day memories that other people don’t have or I don’t remember things that other people remember happening
Oh wow that sounds scary. Whenever I was in active addiction for alcohol I’d get what I THOUGHT were false memories when I blacked out… sometimes they were just dreams, which I always had to ask people to confirm, and then sometimes what I thought were false memories were actually glimpses of flashbacks from when I was drunk and would fade in and out of consciousness.. I was really hoping one of those was a fake memory… I still don’t know 100% to this day but I have strong evidence to believe it was very real.. and when I realized it probably was, you know what I did? Drank some more lmao. That’s that addiction mindset- alcohol gets you into trouble and you get depressed about it so you drink MORE alcohol. It’s absolute insanity.. don’t drink, kids.
But yeah I have no idea to what extent your going through, but even my little dreams and flashbacks were enough to feel like I was going crazy (I mean I was, but not cause of that, but because of the addiction), so I can’t imagine what you have to go through with this disorder. Not knowing what is reality or not. It sounds terrifying. I’m glad your wife can at least help you out a bit
I don't have schizophrenia but I am a very vivid dreamer and there have only been a very few times that I haven't been able to tell if a memory was a dream or real. It was really scary to realize I couldn't rely on what felt like reality in that moment when my partner told me it had never happened. I have so much empathy for people who live through delusions.
This!
It sucks when you realize you can't trust your mind.
This has happened to me and it made me feel like I was insane!
I was talking about this today. Like I've time traveled....
So true. Another comment for more 👍
When the intrusive thoughts have intrusive voices, intrusive faces, and intrusive false memories.
What a solid way to explain this. I had been wondering what the difference is between highly imaginative people, or even some one with compulsive disordered thinking or paranoid thinking and someone with this disorder/disease. This comment helped me understand the difference. That someone who has this doesn't know if they are using their imaginative process or not AND that it actually had different voices, faces and convinces them of false memories. Thanks for sharing 🎉
I have this but not disgnosed with anything so am watching like this ain’t this normal? lol 😂 it’s normal shit that happens to me :/
I had been wondering the same thing, because that’s honestly what it sounds like, an overactive imagination or clairvoyance.
Look up Jerry Marzinsky he talks about this stuff
I've never thought of it like this :0 What a precise explanation
My ex husband has schizoaffective disorder (like schizophrenia plus bipolar). One of his long held delusions came after a trip we took to Cuba. We stayed for a week before coming back home to FL. He truly believed deep down that we never left Cuba, that we were really still there but everything was made to look like we were back in FL. He believed this for almost 2 whole years.
A lot of people don’t realize what delusional thinking really is, so thanks for sharing.
Wow that almost is like what happened to Leo’s character in Inception
Why would you be with someone like that??! Can someone that mentally ill even give consent??
@@khosrow asking why I would be with “someone like that” is really ignorant and rude, honestly. his illness doesn’t define him, he’s so much more than a diagnosis. He taught me a lot. We grew up together. His twin brother was my brothers best friends. Our families are close. I had a crush on him before he ever had psychosis/schizophrenia. I’m a natural caretaker and I suffer from serious mental illness myself. It’s not like he was constantly in psychosis or having an episode. People with illnesses like schizophrenia can have delusional thinking or symptoms without being fully in psychosis. There were times I didn’t think he was well enough to consent, and of course I respected that.
My husband has this as well and he's convinced he has a brain tumor. 😅 He thinks this every time he has a headache. I try to tell him to go to the doctor to make sure but he refuses and then we loop back in a couple weeks when he gets another headache.
@@butterjujunut I can relate lol. I have BPD and I low key think I have leukemia or some kind of autoimmune disorder. Even tho my blood tests are normal 😅 and I rarely see doctors.
This sounds like the way events and logic work in dreams, super interesting!
I was thinking the same thing!
This is exactly the type of thing I dream happens, and sometimes when I wake up I can't remember whether it happened or not hahaha
Yes, there is a connection and I’ve heard it described as living in a waking dream…part of the brain seems to be asleep. I’ve actually heard a doctor describe it as a sleepy brain disease. I have never experienced delusions personally but I’ve had a few moments where I’ve gotten so lost in a thought, so emotionally invested in a made up scenario that it feels real. So, I can see how just taking that a slight but further would be very hard to differentiate reality from a daydream. People with this disorder have to use the awake part of their brain much more to keep the sleeping brain from taking over.
@@sandjoonssame my heart really goes out to those who deal with it while awake too. I get into really bad episodes of depression from it and will end entire relationships over something I dreamt, but can’t tell that it was just a dream I had not a real interaction. Some of my dreams come true though so even if I do realize it was a dream I have constant internal panic that it’s going to happen at any moment.
@@Moonbeams0as someone with Deja Vu Auras due to epilepsy and narcolepsy (yes, they’re called that), it’s quite accurate!
Sometimes I literally am mid conversation and have to stay extremely concentrated cause my brain is still caught in a dream I had, or a situation I was in in the past. It’s so uncomfortable.
im not schizophrenic but i have bipolar 2 and when im struggling with hypomania i tend to get very delusional as well. this video really resonated with me and im glad that you posted it! cuz being able to look back at this and recognize it as a delusion can reinforce reality a little better
Omg im bipolar too but i have schizoaffective disorder which is schizo from the bipolar and i agree, this def feels so close to home💀💀
i didn’t know this can happen with bipolar 2, i struggle with something similar to this :(
it’s really scary especially if you have to be the one to reassure/fact check yourself
I thought the big difference in Bipolar I & Bipolar II were the delusions. Bipolar 1 will have delusional thinking and beliefs during mania episodes but bipolar 2 doesn't lose their sense of reality like bipolar 1
Are there different treatment plans between bipolar one, two, and three? @@goldstairz
@@zaraveen8566yes
Damn. My brother is severely schizophrenic. It breaks my heart because he really struggles with it. He always asks me about things that have happened in the past that never happened. 😢 now i understand. Thank you. ❤❤❤❤
This makes me feel so seen.. I went through something schizophrenic like in the past and every now and then I think about scenarios that happened in the past that i’m so sure happened. but me knowing i was delusional makes me question so much of my reality from that time.. about what was actually real and what wasn’t. i try not to think of that time and laugh at it now but i still do have that curious, self-pitying feeling deep inside.. i can’t help but feel that way for myself. i’m really glad you are supportive of your brother.
Poor guy.. be kind to that suffering soul.
@@wowueewowSchizophrenic
like? 😭😭😭What does that even mean babe
@@jrockkkk A psychotic episode? A manic episode with delusions/paranoia? It doesn't really matter, with a little good faith you can understand what they mean
As a flordian, we use sheets at the beach and its ok :)
They are lightweight so if they get wet they dry fast and they are also big so its better for holding more people and items plus, most people have a sheet on hand so its convenient! ❤
In Hawaii too. I've brought sheets, ie lavalava/sarong (mini sheets lol), they're great. If there's sand, just shake it off. Beaches and sand go together
East NC, I always bring my designated top sheet to the beach 😅😅
I wonder if maybe her delusion is sand all over the street coming through the sheet
That’s true! I always kept a sheet, a towel and a suit in my car just in case I ended up at the beach lol
I've never considered this. Though I guess the Midwest comparison is bringing a blanket or quilt to sit on the grass to watch fireworks or do picnics or a show lol.
THANK YOU. I have been dealing with this bullshit for 27 GODDAMN YEARS and NO ONE has put it in words like this. Thank you so much.
I've never seen paranoid schizophrenia described like this. Very helpful to see an example of what it feels like from someone who's experienced it. I'm grateful to the op for sharing.
@@katattack907 its not paranoid schyzophrenia. and what shes describing isnt neccessarily delusional disorder either, because its actually something that happens to females after 40.
@@TheRaintree46 it's schizophrenia, the woman in this video has schizophrenia, and makes videos here on her channel about her schizophrenia, she's not over 40 either, she's had schizophrenia her whole life
@@Ella-kn9qd this really is NOT schizo that shes describing. because there isnt any delusion or hallucenation in what shes saying.
@@TheRaintree46 the woman in this video is diagnosed with schizophrenia
Interesting. It seems that when the moment of 'realization' happens, the mind had already cooked the delusion to perfection in the background, presenting it to you fully formed, and part of why it feels so real.
My maternal grandmother was schizophrenic and one of my mom's earliest memories is of 4-year-old her waking up in the morning, walking out to the living room and her mom FLIPPING OUT because she distinctly remembered eating my mom for dinner the night before.
Having just experienced dillusions for the first time (cause by a reaction to a medication) I can't imagine how scary this was for both my mom AND my grandma. Living in a time where you can talk about it is super helpful for both you, as well as your audience ❤
I, too, have schizophrenia. You just helped me with something I've been struggling with for years. Sometimes, while having delusional episodes, I'll know damn well it's an episode, and I'll start wondering if I'm just faking it, wondering why I don't just simply... stop having it. You just showed me that it's normal to be aware of episodes, that it's normal to know it might be or is a delusion while still strongly believing it. Thank you. Maybe it's not fake. Thank you.
I don't deal with schizophrenia myself, but I do have bipolar II & sometimes during heavy manic episodes I also become aware of my mania and feel like I'm faking it and feel frustrated with myself. It's not as of I'm announcing it to the world I just think like "stop putting on a show". I didn't know others experienced the same feelings.
I have BPD, BD, and CPTSD and didn't realize that I was experiencing hallucinations/delusions until I was 21 bc they were things that seemed inconsequential. I was always under the impression that hallucinations and delusions are just grand conspiracies, I didn't think about them being like this.
Delusions are not hallucinations
@@joanbaczek2575but they can include hallucinations.
@@joanbaczek2575 I didn't say they were. the / isn't me saying they're the same thing, they just often go hand in hand. I'm SMI and have been seeing mental health professionals for the majority of my life, I know the difference.
@batzyjohnson what SMI mean I have an idea but I don't want to be rude it I'm wrong
@@zimazima630 Severely Mentally Ill. it's a state run program that functions similarly to disability. they provide mental health care for the rest of your life pretty much. they can also offer things like cash assistance and help with finding housing.
I can't even imagine. Like, my head spins from trying to imagine what that would be like. The closest I ever got to something like this is when I have hyper realistic dreams and I can't remember if memories are things that I actually lived through or scenes from a dream.
But I learned a few strategies to anchor myself in reality (figuring out whether I'm currently awake or dreaming) and that has helped greatly.
Ironically the movie Inception helped. When he explains in the movie that you never question your surroundings in a dream, no matter how unrealistic. You're suddenly at school with a person you only met way later in life? Doesn't throw up any red flags while I'm dreaming, but once you pay attention, you realize that that's not real. I use that "trick" all the time.
And then I learned to wake myself up, or to rewrite the script of the dream while still staying asleep.
I'd be so terrified if I couldn't trust my reality. How do you deal with that fear?
But this would never work for me - I have horrible nightmares and I question the surroundings almost every single time. Inside the dream. So I am not sure what would help??
@@ArwenOfRivendell I'm no expert, but from what I've learned in therapy, you being aware enough of your surroundings inside your dream and questioning them is actually a good step in the direction of taking control of your nightmares.
The first steps they had me do was keeping a dream journal. Writing down as many details as I could remember from my dreams/nightmares. This was especially helpful with my recurring nightmares. Writing them down day after day helped me recognize the pattern of my dreams while I was asleep and slowly, over time, I was able to change the script. Like "no, I won't massacre my whole family tonight, thank you, instead I will go through this door in the scene and see what's behind it." It took a few months though to get to that point.
And do you ever have those dreams where you need to run or jump or punch and it feels like you're in slow motion, or you just can't put the required strength in the movement? Yeah, over time I was able to be aware enough (while still staying asleep!) to say "this is bullshit, I know this is a dream and if I want to jump that far then I can." And boom! I'd be able to make the jump/run/kick/punch....it's super cool 😂
Another thing they had me do was mindfulness exercises. They all feel silly in the moment, and you wonder how in the world that would ever help while you're unconscious, but it does help!!!
My therapist had me practice staying in the present and experiencing a task like doing dishes with as many senses as possible. "Look at the soap bubbles on the plate, how they catch the light. What happens when you move the plate? Notice how the bubbles glide over the plate? What do they feel like on your skin? Can you find words for that sensation? What does it smell like? Is the plate heavy? How do you know it's heavy? How do you know it's a pleasant/unpleasant sensation? etc"
Somehow these exercises translated into me being able to discern if something was happening to me in real life vs. in a dream.
And once I was able to tell that I was definitely currently dreaming and not awake, I was able to wake myself up from my nightmares. And then from there I was slowly able to edit the script of my dreams to where I could just change the plot and stay asleep.
Thank you for explaining how they feel. You can help people in profound ways by sharing things like this. Have a great day.
Bringing a top sheet to the beach is actually a GREAT idea.❤
That sounds so frustrating! Im jealous that you got to go to a beach today, looks lovely.
I have delusions that people have been bitching about me on Facebook but deleting the status before I can see it. It’s aweful when it happens.
This video just helped me understand some loved ones with schizophrenia (in a way that I never knew I was misunderstanding them), thank you so much for sharing
I took a medication once that made me feel like this and it was awful! It took me a week to realize those memories and events weren't real and i stopped immediately. I feel for people who experience this on a daily basis, you are so strong
Thank you for educating us! my best friend was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia (we have kind of known since high school) and this makes some recent conversations make WAY more sense
i’m not schizophrenic but i do have slight hallucinations and i think some delusions. it’s really interesting to read people’s stories here and understand it a bit more than i did before. i’m so used to people taking meaning out the word delusion sometimes i forget what it actually means. so thank you for sharing :]
Mine is my inner self beating me up for my choices, actions, or mistakes when I was 4 at 3 in the morning.
Pray to Jesus to get you away from the evil darts. This is spiritual war
Yes! I’m not sure this is a delusion though, because it did happen?
My first grade teacher embarrassing me because I wasn’t paying attention and rifling through my pencil box.
I was SIX, b.
That's not a dilusion. A dilusion is something you believe to be true despite evidence that it isn't, like that your friend yelled at you about sheets, when they never actually did
That’s anxiety, not a delusion. I know plenty of people that have dealt with that, myself included.
Thank you for sharing this.
It's also good that you're documenting your episodes so that you can keep track of those and also keep track of events that really happen.
😂😂😂😂😂 I think i just understood schizophrenia for the first time after this story ..no funn im sure
Thank you for writing a good comment on this video!! 💕💕
My dad is schizoaffective and I have always had a really hard time convincing him that what he’s thinking isn’t reality. The more I push the more he thinks I’m in on something. It’s such a tough thing to deal with. I appreciate you sharing your experience 🙇♀️ thank you
I can’t *imagine* what it would be like having all of the anxiety and depression-induced thoughts being interpreted by my brain as external audio instead of internal dialogue. I hope that you have support systems and people around you that can help and understand! Stay strong!
I have schizoaffective disorder and i have delusions like this ALL THE TIME. It's a lot easier to handle them now that I'm on a good medication regimine with a doctor I trust but on the days I don't take my meds (or if I'm just having a bad day) I genuinely think I'm about to lose everything important to me (friendships, home, safety) and it's so exhausting. Thank you for sharing this, I feel a lot less alone and a lot more validated.
It sounds like you played a little fantasy in your head about the sheet, like a silly daydream. Then you start to think your daydream is real.
I have heard schizophrenia is the brain getting confused about what is internal stimuli and what is coming externally and this seems to encapsulate that.
The self awareness is fascinating! You know it is happening. But it is still happening.
This channel is so interesting! I am sending good vibes your way for putting good into the world.
Fascinating, more like agonizing 😅
You're correct. And brain scans during auditory and visual hallucinations show the hearing and vision centers of the brain activated which is why it actually does feel real.
The word choice in this comment needs to be revised lmao
@@marzemarcel9529it’s both
Naaah it’s not really like having a silly daydream and your brain confusing it for being real. It’s more like being absolutely sure these things that everyone says isn’t happening is happening. Logic doesn’t help. Telling someone who is delusional or hallucinating that it’s in their head or they’re wrong, often solidifies the beliefs. Imagine thinking your whole family is plotting against you. Trying to murder you, drive you insane, or even get you to kill yourself. Not even thinking, every part of your being knows it to be the truth. Deep down in your gut, it’s real. Even when everyone is telling you it’s not. It can take years to come to terms with the fact you have an illness that’s causing the delusions and hallucinations. Some people never come to that understanding. It’s terrifying and sadly, so misunderstood.
i really appreciate your total openness in such vulnerable moments. i cannot imagine how stressful and terrified i would feel not knowing what is real in my own mind. I think what you’re doing is really amazing and helping people understand what schizophrenia really looks like
this video made sense.
and weirdly, it made even more sense when i read the title
This is very unsettling to me cuz delusions are so subtle sometime.
Dang :( thats stressful. Thank you for explaining it in such a perfect way to someone who does not experience this as i can have a better understanding of what that means.
Wow, what a great example of why it's so heartbreaking to watch people go through this. Because this whole series of troubling painful delusion experiences for her of being yelled at and being put down all stems from one 'fact' that sand goes through a sheet... which it doesnt. One illogical thought can flourish into your whole day bring ruined and that sucks! (My brother was schizoeffective and I watched him go through this all the time it was so unfair to him) and no matter what you do, it's hard to show someone that the facts if their reality are illogical bc its real to you. My heart goes out to you and it's so cool you're doing videos and spreading awareness of your thought process bc some people really don't get it /pos ❤
I’ve always used a sheet. It’s bigger, covers more space for you to sprawl on. Sand is going to get on EVERYTHING ANYWAY. so🤷🏾♀️. I just give it a flap and put it back down? But the sand is gonna go through the towel too, so take deep breaths folks. ❤
awww that sound really stressful, i’m sorry you have to go through that.
That sounds hard to deal with. Don't feel bad though. Mental Illness is a real illness and is so much less taboo then it used to be.
When I've gotten manic (bipolar), i don't know until someone points out that I'm being a huge b*tch. Then I feel bad and ashamed about what I've said.
💕💕💕
that is such crap, i am bipolar, & we know perfectly well when the illness is causing a problem, unless you are drunk you are very aware of what you are doing, & saying, like your friends are saying "hey your bipolar is on"? as if you don't have any idea what are you doing"? bull, that is flat out bullsh*t & if you are having these so called "manic" epissodes on a regular basis you are off of your meds🤷🏼♀️
@gemmalynn536 Thank you for sharing your experience. It differs from mine, but I'm sure it's valid and not bullshit. However, my experience is also valid, and I have been stabalized on medication (with the exception of my pregnancy) for 2 decades. I am glad you are aware when you are in a manic episode, but many of us,like myself, are not aware. Please be considerate of others, and perhaps not everyone has the same experience you do. That doesn't invalidate either theirs or yours, nor does it make it "bullshit."
I also haven't mentioned anything about manic episodes on a regular basis. It's been over 20yrs since I've had one.
@@gemmalynn536you sound like you’re in an episode right now and don’t know it 😂😂 from one fellow bipolar to another, not all of us experience things the same way. I don’t know when I’m getting depressed. I often have to ask my friends if I’ve been weird lately or if it’s all in my head. I often don’t even realise it when I start hallucinating because my brain makes all kinds of excuses like “oh I was just seeing that pole out of the corner of my eye.” “Oh it was just the sun reflecting off the road, silly me.”
I completely agree that we are each responsible for our own stability. We are responsible for taking our meds and keeping a steady routine… but no, not everyone can tell. A lot of us have to rely on other people to let us know, especially if it’s a hypomanic episode.
@@TheBrokeCyberWanderer I have experienced both the unaware and the self aware episodes. If you're taking medication and it's stopped you from having manic episodes for 20 years that's pretty amazing. I can identify the mood swings after many years of being bipolar, but it doesn't always mean I can control the feelings.
Oh wow, this makes what my aunt goes through make a lot of sense. I see the gears shifting in her head a bit as her mood drops, then she says we are thinking, doing, or saying things that we never did and that it was making her feel shitty. It's helpful to get a clear perspective on how this looks and feels to folks who deal with this. It sounds exhausting and painful to get caught up in the fears of being disliked, so much so that you might even believe it's real when it isn't. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you have more good days than bad ❤
Its okay to make mistakes. Its important to continue to learn to improve yourself and you can't learn anything if you don't mess up every now and then. 🖤
It's like when the waters cut off and all of sudden someone says,"ITS THE SPIRITS." It's like," hey is that man following me!?" YES
I couldn’t imagine seeing my friend just yell at me and then think that’s real. Must be a crazy experience
Sending you hugs!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for sharing this and bringing awareness to all!
I get them but about dreams, where i just think they really happened... Little things with people or places i dont see often. It sticks with me like in the back of my mind, like a old memory that i remember as a memory... Then when they pop up in my mind, i have to think 'THAT NEVER HAPPENED...... DID IT?
Same for me!
I've met many people with schizophrenia over my many hospital stays, some more put together than others, but a lot of them I'd love to see again
I way laying in bed trying to sleep then my mother and sister were somehow in my room talking to me and i couldn't get out of the bed or stop hanging my head down from the bed however much later i realize im just laying in my bed and my doors locked so they couldn't have been there nor am i hanging half off my bed lmao
Sleep paralysis.
Literally not schizophrenia
This is eye opening, thank you sm for sharing and being vulnerable. You a real one 💗
She was telling you "Don't SHEET on the beach!" Big difference!! 👏👏🤣🤣🤣
I think using a sheet at the beach is fine. Never had sand go trough mine. You sure you're not talking about an afgan blanket? Lol
I was delusional. My reality made no sense.
@@SchizophrenicNYC very interesting to witness!
@@SchizophrenicNYCthank u for showing this...I have these episodes alot, but didn't think anything as wrong with me, just thought others were being jerks!! I thought I was losing my mind and I didn't understand that it is a real thing, like it's not early dementia...or dreaming...or everything else I have labeled to try n make sense of it...
But can u recommend a medication or what i can ask my Dr...like what's it called? Skitzaphrenia? Bi-polar? Manic?
Thanks again❤
thank you for opening up about this, I have family members struggling with this and to have someone come on the internet and speak about it to the masses really sort of humanizes the condition for a lot of people.
I bring sheets to the beach and we put our towels on top of them. The sand doesn't go through the sheets.
Delusions make ya think the wacky
When I went through some really dark and traumatic times, I really went through some of what you’re talking about.
I am diagnosed with PTSD, and recently it’s been really stressful. And when I’m overwhelmed sometimes I get panic attacks about stuff from the past, and it feels like it’s happening in that moment. Like reliving the past.
But with lots of determination and positivity, it’s getting better. I’m starting to feel like a normal person.
I really pray nobody judges her, or anybody struggling with mental health. Just like how your physical health is important and understood by society, mental health is the same way. You’re not crazy if you’re battling your own demons; it’s hard but as humans we have such a beautiful power within ourselves and above us to conquer that fight.
Much love to all❤
Unfortunately it will always be a thought in the back of your mind that you cant fully clear no matter how much reassurance you get! However delusion or not you are an exceptionally beautiful freaking person for sharing your small and big delusions!! I just subscribed and I am way for this Chanel ❤️👌
I can smell your breath over the phone. I miss when we had rooms with padded walls
Please share more about your perspective!
I had only one delusion when the illness hit me at 25 (the age that most schizophrenia onsets) and I can try to describe how it feels. I'm also paranoid schizophrenic meaning I have auditory hallucinations (I heard a voice but I'm medicated now 😅) anyways to describe the difference between a hallucination and a delusion, the best way I can, is that when you hallucinate hearing a voice, you are aware that there is no one actually there, you are aware it's weird, and you are just trying to ignore it and live your life. It's not really affecting your reality.
But a delusion does. It shifts your reality, and the best way I can describe it is like this. You know how In a movie where there are things that happen and they are not normal. Like finding out you're a wizard. But you know magic isn't real... so... you are hesitant about this notion, but after a few days of becoming immersed in the wizarding world, you start to accept things like flying broomsticks and moving pictures, and candy that turns your hair pink, it's otherworldly but it's acceptable, then you start to accept the fact that dragons exist, and that wands are necessary, and and that hats can talk, and it's very much more acceptable now and yet still a bit odd, but then you get immersed into the world if it all, you start getting great grades at the wizarding school and your friends help you through a magic puzzle where you battle bird like keys, ensnaring vines and a giant chess board. And you get on the flying broomstick sports team, and you escape detention, you study hard, and you dream of what career you might want to pursue in the wizarding world. you start to accept it as a normal part of life. 😅 That's what it is like. And you come out of it the same, you are entirely immersed in the delusion, and then you start noticing that it's a bit odd to see the world that way until you look down and realize your wearing a robe and carrying a wand in a busy street in London and you are just so embarrassed with yourself and run home to change into normal clothes. You think what was that? Why did I even think that, that's not reality, that was a delusion... 😅😊
Thank you so much for sharing! This is really educational. I hope the people in your life are kind and supportive. ❤
I have Borderline Personality Disorder so I also struggle with delusions. Mine would be more along the lines of, I would be conviced my friend is THINKING these things anout me not saying it and has plans to NEVER hang out with me again.
Unfortunately when people ghost me, I can only assume my delusion was somewhat correct.
Isn't this just anxiety? Not saying you don't have the personality disorder so don't get my wording wrong here. But wouldn't that be like anxiety separate from your condition and/or anxiety caused by your condition?
@@saltandsriracha What they described is literally one of the most common symptoms of BPD…
@junebunny0712 that's so normal though. How is that a symptom when it's a very common part of being human?
WOW😢Thank you for posting. I just found ur channel & some things u say I go through-such as this video-i never believed anyone else could understand
Never seen a schizophrenic rationalize their illness like this. I thought ot was all about disorganized thought process. Either this person is on the early stages and has a great prognosis, or the meds shes on are really great for her. Either way, this is very interesting and kinda wholesome for some reason 😊
The remission stage of psychotic spectrum disorders doesn't mean you're cured, you still have symptomology but you (usually) have your rational mind back despite the symptoms still being there.
This is why schizophrenics need support, empathy, and help.
I always bring a sheet to the beach and always have so im super confused hahahah
This is deeply insightful, I’m very grateful to hear this. I know there’s a relationship of some sort between trauma and schizophrenia and I know that western society doesn’t fully grasp it yet but this touching on something very important, I just feel it in my gut. I don’t know if this is her account posting but thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing 💛🌻
Don't know what really what your going through. I had bi-polar disorder. Now I have clinical depression. My advice is pray, keep thinking positive and stay close to family and friends !!!! Keep trucking and again stay positive !!!!
Im always questioning my memory or thinking "what if i text this person and they hadnt actually sent me anything and now im just randomly responding to nothing" so i have to go back and check a few times. Or i remember something I said to a coworker but i dont remember why we started thst convo and maybe it didnt even happen because I dont remember what they said
I think that's just an inner voice of negativity. The voice has a birthplace in your experience, but it did not happen about the sheet. Love this vid.
🥰 fitted sheet and 2 xl towels is the way to go, put something in each corner and no sand gets into it. Hope this helps anyone who sees it.
Nobody think you’re an idiot.
I think you’re really brave
I'm glad I found your videos, apparently this is a lot different than I originally thought. I definitely had an idea of what it looked like to someone observing and I clearly had it wrong. Someone close to me in my life is having a similar issue and I think you just helped me figure out the missing piece. He believes these things and are hurt by them, even if its not something I understand. I always try my best to put myself in others shoes to better understand them, but I've been at an impasse lately and I thank you for helping me to find understanding for the situation, so I can approach it differently and with care.
I don't think sand is small enough to go through a sheet... How low is the thread count?
thank you so much for sharing your experience. i’m sure it isn’t easy to talk about but it’s so interesting to hear about (especially as someone going into healthcare)
I am genuinely curious. And It might sound silly, but I used to play a game where the main character would be hearing voices in her head constantly and the loudest voices are full of fearful and the other loudest one is the one that's full of hate and anger. And from what I've heard from others with schizophrenia says they always have negative delusions that are hurtful , but are there any positive ones? I also know having any sort of delusion is problematic, but I don't think I've heard someone saying something good and uplifting came from it.
People in Africa who have schizophrenia say their hallucinations are generally pleasant and helpful. They can think of them as friends.
Fascinating, I would love to know what is happening with that.
negative hurtful ones are definitely more common and frequent sadly, idk if it counts as positive but i sometimes get delusions people are much more obsessed or in love with me than they are lmao. sometimes i'll also get random/neutral ones, for example i was once so convinced my (long distance) boyfriend and i had a conversation in which he told me all about a job he worked for a short while when he was younger. when i'd brought it up again later he tells me that conversation of course never happened, and that not only has he never worked that position but that kind of job didn't even exist in his country so it wouldn't even be possible to lol. we still joke about that one to this day, but it put mistrust in my thoughts because now i always second guess if my memory of the real past job he actuality told me about happened or not too 😅
@@darcymoon2109 WOW that is fascinating. Culture plays into how our minds shape so much. It's amazing to me that we can form new connections in our brain - neuroplasticity is wild.
@@darcymoon2109 Africa is a continent with many different countries in that have distinct cultures. Was the study any more specific than just “Africa?”
@@junebunny0712 You are correct, of course. I’m sure the study was more specific.
I’m so proud of you 👍 for sharing this ❤ you are helping so many in many ways 🎉🎉🎉 You are amazing. You are love 💕 Keep it up
Woww 😢 so sorry that you have your endure this. I'm glad you're recognizing what's going on so you can redirect your thoughts..🙏🙏🙏
It says something about my own mental health that I heard "sheep " not "sheet".what is a top sheep? And how does sand get through it? And why is it on the damn beach! 🐑
Lol
*You are not stupid for bringing a sheet to the beach* 🩶🫂I always bring a sheet to the beach.. Sand will get ON whatevers there anyway (Unless there's chairs& a million frustrating precautions which defeats entire purpose), I appreciate how you described it. I like understanding as much as I can. {I know someone who struggles with schizophrenia+drug induced psychosis'& helping them when they pop up has been difficult} A sheet the easiest thing to shake off if youre trying to cover an area. I know its not the point, Just wanted to say/reassure your original thought was indeed practical. Anxiety makes me question things, feel stupid, strange, etc..I empathize.
I try not to be a sheet
You’ve described it the way I never could
this video is making me question if I have sh or not, now...
From time to time I imagine these arguments that have never happened, in my head. online arguments. honestly probably a symptom of being online for every hour of every day for my entire life since i was like 10. I annoy myself and tell myself to stop. idk its complicated.
I hate that I'm like an amalgam of so many different hsshes and things gone wrong. i wish i could just identify it as one thing. or identify one thing. but its mostly just symptoms of so much shhzt combined.
So exhausting to live like that 😢 I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! I'm going to quit whining about my petty problems in life. You're extremely smart to have been able to grab your phone and articulate/record this and share it with the world. I understand my friend Shells better, she has schizophrenia.
I think the more we discover about these illlnesses, we’ll see a lot of them are directly associated with dissociation and trauma!! Much love to you & thank you so much for sharing! ❤
I relate this feeling to when my mom sometimes wakes me up to talk to me in the morning and then I go back to bed. I’m also a wild dreamer. So most the time I have to ask her if the conversation was real or not.
It sounds so serious and a little scary, makes you realize how hard it is to deal with that. And the music is just 🐒
she literally just described what I haven’t been able to🫨
Sand doesn't go threw a sheet. I brings sheets all the time!!
I always think things are gonna explode or blow up and that everything around me is flammable.
you gotta surround yourself with people that you trust and know will take care of you when you need them. because in my experience some people are not reliable for reality testing and may even use your condition to gaslight you when you're vulnerable
I did not know that at all! Thank you so much! That kind of points some stuff out to me about some relatives
My heart goes out to people who regularly have delusions… I was recently hospitalised in a MH hospital and after release there are still some extremely vivid memories of things I absolutely 100% thought were real at time that I even though now I know they can’t possibly have happened I still can’t get my brain to acknowledge that fact… not explaining myself well … it’s like my brain is just wants to hold on to a false delusion even when I give it proof to the contrary
Wow this is incredibly interesting. Thank you for sharing this.
Beyond jamais vu. Thanks for this perspective 😊
My person has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Thank you for explaining so I can hopefully support him better.
This is a great explanation. Thank you for sharing with us
Why does this feel so extremely relatable? Why does this feel like this happens to me all the time?!
I'm so sorry that anyone has to experience this. I really hate schizophrenia. Several of my loved ones have suffered from it. It's so hard to control and the hurt that the sufferer feels over things that never happened causes isolation. I hope this lady continues to question her delusions and asks others for confirmation. Many become to paranoid.
I can relate to this somewhat because I am a vivid dreamer and remember them quite well. But even then, dreams ends in the morning and I can realize that they aren't real after some time even if they made so much sense when in them. I CANNOT imagine living like i'm in a dream and having to doubt my reality every step of the way.
This must be hard to talk about online sometimes. You are doing an important thing here and I know so many people must appreciate it. ❤
I knew of general hallucinations but i didnt know other people also experienced false memories. Idk its kinda relieving since i never heard of it. I remembered one of my classmates (in my grade but not in my 1st period class at school) coming into my first period class laughing and joking since she messed up the morning announcements and i only realized something was wrong when i remembered she didnt have that class with me. I was super freaked out since it seemed 100% real, i had like vivid memories of it. I even had a small incident as a little kid where i was arguing with my dad that i already went to school that day and he didnt need to drop me off at my moms house where the bus would pick me up since i already went. I was so confused when the bus showed up. Also another time where i was joking during lunch with a friend and the next day i brought it up and he thought i was weird since we never joked about that. Ngl its only now that im writing this that i realize that this wasnt just him forgetting but my brain creating a false memory for me
Wow thank you for this I can better understand now how tricky this condition can be. It helps me understand and be empathetic ❤
Bringing a sheet to the beach is what you bring to the beach, the sand doesn't go through and shakes off easily. You were right the whole time.