For me, for Cheyenne. I want to be with someone who can do all things I can do as a woman cook, clean, work, take care of home, take care of me, and himself. I do appreciate what Kevin said, that he wants to provide in all aspects. ❤ love from NYC. You guys should have like females join in on the conversations about this topic just a little suggestion.
Love these topics. Love how Alan, Kevin, and Mike was so transparent in their hurdles in their situations. Und, I think there should be a segment maybe towards the beginning or end to read a few comments from the previous episode since you guys go Live. There were some good comments episode 1 on UA-cam. We got a whole community over here boys
OKAY NOW! @31:08, Kentorey is making A POINT!!! Now we're talking about a different situation. Amendment efforts are not the same as Abundance efforts. Amendment efforts are for making up when you do something wrong and you're trying to get back in good graces. Scoring a 3 when you're down 30 is an amendment effort. It's nice, but without consistency in the behavior, it doesn't fix the problem at hand. So, in example, Expecting the game ball(validation) for that single shot wouldn't make sense by most standards. Abundance efforts are typically when people want(or feel they deserve) validation. You're down 30, played hard to close that gap, and now you're up 10 with 4 seconds left. Now, because of the CONSISTENT, REPETITIVE, ABUNDANT BEHAVIOR, the Game Ball would be a nice "thank you". I'm not a sports girlie like that so if this analogy is trash, dont fight me lmao
Loved this. Loved Kevin’s comments on the emotional neglect he received as a child, especially not saying his parents were bad parents but probably just didn’t know better or for whatever reason. It has real affects though and can make you crave it but also fear it or struggle with knowing how to really accept it.
ooooweee Im back again! idk the specifics of the situations, but lets be clear, ERRRBODYYYY needs validation from somewhere. We need someone who's opinion of us WE VALUE to tell us we're good, okay, safe, seen, heard, etc. Even if its God telling us we're "fearfully and wonderfully made... in His image." We as human beings need that as much as air and water. I think there's definitely a conversation to be had about what's expected in a relationship, but only between the 2(or more) people that choose to be in it! i dont think there's a blanket rule book for every ship... but Yea, all that to say, validation is not only ok. but necessary in any relationship(not just romantic ones). Mothers are supposed to take care of their kids, but Mother's Day is nice. Children should do well in school, but that Honor Roll certificate and Pizza Party is nice! AND it gives me incentive to wanna do it(whatever "it" is) again, because it satisfied someone, which in turn satisfied something in me. Chile i could type these all day... Dont get me started nie...
@kevinbradshaw I think it risk either way. If you allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable with your woman, you are allowing her to show up for you in ways that you didn't receive when you were younger and you allow yourself an opportunity to truly know and feel what love, support and compassion looks like when it comes from a person who has wants nothing but the best from you. If you don't then your rob your woman and yourself of that opportunity for someone other than yourself to show up for you. On the other hand, if something does gets brought up and used against you later in malice then the person has shown you who they are. Even in anger, if that person means something to you typically you know it's better to control your tongue. You can be in a relationship and grieve certain parts of singleness and you can be single and grieve certain aspects of being in relationship doesn't mean you don't value your relationship. Great Topic. Can't wait for the next one ❤
Our communication styles really do stem from childhood. That's why in singleness, we have to do the work to unlearn those things so that we can know/have healthy communication across any type of relationship. It's so much easier said than done, though, and therapy is a great start to get there ❤
Cheating has been a normal thing way before our time but it’s a learned behavior. Those actions have to be addressed in order take accountability and identify the problem so those decisions aren’t made again.
SWEET BABY JESUS AND THE GROWN ONE TOO!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS CONVERSATION! So glad yall are back ! I genuinely just turned on the pod for background noise while I'm at work, but I had to log in so I can say this! Kevin, please hear my heart when I say THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! Everyone's life experiences, good and bad, shape and mold their personalities and outlooks. That doesn't make any of us "wrong". I do still think therapy is a great idea for you(and every other Black American honestly), because it doesnt just identify "whats wrong", it gives you the tools to change those things if you want to. Let's say, God forbid, your family is simply not capable of giving you the conversation that you need. THAT SHOULDNT STOP YOUR HEALING PROCESS! Therapy is a way for you to get the healing you need Without depending on whoever/whatever you need healing from to give it to you! It allows you to get Unstuck, even if the circumstances that have/had you stuck never change! Ima keep watching/listening... I just wanted to throw that out there!
For me, for Cheyenne. I want to be with someone who can do all things I can do as a woman cook, clean, work, take care of home, take care of me, and himself. I do appreciate what Kevin said, that he wants to provide in all aspects. ❤ love from NYC. You guys should have like females join in on the conversations about this topic just a little suggestion.
Ken does sound like a radio show host 😂
Kentorey was on point with saying/talking about Therapy. Alan I appreciate him being open and saying he communicates with his partner. ❤
Love these topics. Love how Alan, Kevin, and Mike was so transparent in their hurdles in their situations. Und, I think there should be a segment maybe towards the beginning or end to read a few comments from the previous episode since you guys go Live. There were some good comments episode 1 on UA-cam. We got a whole community over here boys
Love these conversations, especially now that I've learned the proper way to have/be in relationships.
OKAY NOW! @31:08, Kentorey is making A POINT!!! Now we're talking about a different situation. Amendment efforts are not the same as Abundance efforts.
Amendment efforts are for making up when you do something wrong and you're trying to get back in good graces. Scoring a 3 when you're down 30 is an amendment effort. It's nice, but without consistency in the behavior, it doesn't fix the problem at hand. So, in example, Expecting the game ball(validation) for that single shot wouldn't make sense by most standards.
Abundance efforts are typically when people want(or feel they deserve) validation. You're down 30, played hard to close that gap, and now you're up 10 with 4 seconds left. Now, because of the CONSISTENT, REPETITIVE, ABUNDANT BEHAVIOR, the Game Ball would be a nice "thank you". I'm not a sports girlie like that so if this analogy is trash, dont fight me lmao
Loved this. Loved Kevin’s comments on the emotional neglect he received as a child, especially not saying his parents were bad parents but probably just didn’t know better or for whatever reason. It has real affects though and can make you crave it but also fear it or struggle with knowing how to really accept it.
If you look up “attachment styles” it might be helpful in understanding how you relate in relationships
I really like your take on this, well put together and thoughtful. Thank you so much 🙏🏽
ooooweee Im back again! idk the specifics of the situations, but lets be clear, ERRRBODYYYY needs validation from somewhere. We need someone who's opinion of us WE VALUE to tell us we're good, okay, safe, seen, heard, etc. Even if its God telling us we're "fearfully and wonderfully made... in His image." We as human beings need that as much as air and water. I think there's definitely a conversation to be had about what's expected in a relationship, but only between the 2(or more) people that choose to be in it! i dont think there's a blanket rule book for every ship... but Yea, all that to say, validation is not only ok. but necessary in any relationship(not just romantic ones). Mothers are supposed to take care of their kids, but Mother's Day is nice. Children should do well in school, but that Honor Roll certificate and Pizza Party is nice! AND it gives me incentive to wanna do it(whatever "it" is) again, because it satisfied someone, which in turn satisfied something in me. Chile i could type these all day... Dont get me started nie...
@kevinbradshaw I think it risk either way. If you allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable with your woman, you are allowing her to show up for you in ways that you didn't receive when you were younger and you allow yourself an opportunity to truly know and feel what love, support and compassion looks like when it comes from a person who has wants nothing but the best from you. If you don't then your rob your woman and yourself of that opportunity for someone other than yourself to show up for you. On the other hand, if something does gets brought up and used against you later in malice then the person has shown you who they are. Even in anger, if that person means something to you typically you know it's better to control your tongue. You can be in a relationship and grieve certain parts of singleness and you can be single and grieve certain aspects of being in relationship doesn't mean you don't value your relationship. Great Topic. Can't wait for the next one ❤
WORK FROM HOME IS CRAZYYYYY!!! YALL WORK FROM HOME DOES NOT APPLY IF ITS THE KIDNAPPERS HOUSE LMAOOOOO
Kevin is right about mentally being cheated on his worse than physically cheating
Our communication styles really do stem from childhood. That's why in singleness, we have to do the work to unlearn those things so that we can know/have healthy communication across any type of relationship. It's so much easier said than done, though, and therapy is a great start to get there ❤
😍😍😍
Soooo proud of you guys👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
damn you asked “have you been caught cheating” bc “have you ever cheated” is just so normal nowadays
Cheating has been a normal thing way before our time but it’s a learned behavior. Those actions have to be addressed in order take accountability and identify the problem so those decisions aren’t made again.
SWEET BABY JESUS AND THE GROWN ONE TOO!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS CONVERSATION! So glad yall are back ! I genuinely just turned on the pod for background noise while I'm at work, but I had to log in so I can say this!
Kevin, please hear my heart when I say THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! Everyone's life experiences, good and bad, shape and mold their personalities and outlooks. That doesn't make any of us "wrong". I do still think therapy is a great idea for you(and every other Black American honestly), because it doesnt just identify "whats wrong", it gives you the tools to change those things if you want to. Let's say, God forbid, your family is simply not capable of giving you the conversation that you need. THAT SHOULDNT STOP YOUR HEALING PROCESS! Therapy is a way for you to get the healing you need Without depending on whoever/whatever you need healing from to give it to you! It allows you to get Unstuck, even if the circumstances that have/had you stuck never change!
Ima keep watching/listening... I just wanted to throw that out there!
"I could've saved some money if I wasn't trickin!" souldve been the soundbyte to this ENTIRE episode! That was hilarious!!
From now on, I will be using "Put That Cup Down" anytime somebody says something out the way lmaooooo
OMGGG it’s been a minute 🫶🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Finally something to watch on yt 👏🏼