I am not ashamed of being single I just hate being single and want to have a wife and children like most men. I am very devout in the faith but being single sucks especially when you realize you are getting near your mid 20s. That peace of singleness is worthless to me. Sure if you don't want a relationship and don't want to have a family good for you but that ain't me. The mistake most Christians make is expecting God to give you your other half. Love requires free will and god refuses to interfere with it. So guess what that means? You actually have to put yourself out there. I am naturally shy due to autism but have been getting better. But being single is just burden for me at this point.
Christian single adults will stop being ashamed when they are not ostracized, disenfranchised and ignored in churches. Which will probably never happen. Despite the fact that single adults are the fastest growing demographic out there today there remains a very, very small number of single adults in churches. I left church permanently because I didn't feel welcome or cared about in the churches that I attended and have no plans of ever going back. I'm glad you have addressed this but you've over-simplified this complex and very desperately under-reported issue.
I'm going to leave my church of 25+ years because I am the sad single. The young 21 yr old doesn't count. The widows don't count--they had someone. Try being 40 years old + that has always been single and is still single.
Truth. And being single doesn't mean you are not as mature of a Christian. I have a bigger issue with this than anything else. Singles are treated like giant babies who should serve the married. Excuse me! No.
I just found this and I needed it. I’ll be 23 in May and I’ve been single my whole life. I’ve struggled with it this video was really nice to hear thank you.
thank you for the advice. i do have to admit, I do sometimes feel like I'm not good enough to be in a relationship because a lot of people want a "perfect relationship" but I think what makes it seem perfect is how much you love each other
I can't believe you are 21 my dude. I would've guessed 30-35. There's definitely a societal pressure that overemphasizes romantic love as if that is the only love worth having. And you're right--it can be worse among Christians even though Paul made himself clear in 1 Co. 7 that marriage is a biblical option. What I have learned (and take this or leave it--I'm just a 22 year old stranger on the internet), but what I have learned is that love can go to depths you could hardly imagine with anyone if you let it. So don't stress yourself out too much with labels. As I see it, the people you love are the people you would die for. If you don't have people outside your parents, siblings, and spouse like that, then I urge you to get more vulnerable. I think you'll be surprised at how close you can get to people once you let those walls down.
Valuable video - The only reason anyone feels 'shame' as being single is because of the idolatry the church places on marriage. Marriage is valuable but biblical singleness is blessed too. Who are we to assume we know what God's plan is for anyone? Stop seeing biblical singleness as 'somehow lacking' or 'not as mature'. It is NOT a waiting stage for marriage Live who you are in Christ in blissful rejoicing of this state. Throw off the shackles of the oppression that the world and even the idolatry of the church project on you.
The best comment. Thank you. I would like to encounter more of your comments because you concluded that it's Idolatry, which it is, although it hadn't' occured to me.
Amen!!! Preach brother! You are certainly blessed and anointed! Edit: one thing I’ve learned from being single the 20 out of 20 years of my life is that you have to seek God to seek first and focus on your “marriage” with Jesus because we are the bride of Christ and you can’t find a spouse before you have a solid foundation with Jesus.
I love how you just put on different glasses for each of the clips 😂😂 But yeah, I definitely needed this video! Still kinda young (17), but it's kinda hard to be content in singleness when everyone around me is dating lol
I'm a newly single widow and I'm telling you single life has its moments but I wouldn't jump into a relationship any time soon (hopefully). Single life is 🙌
Whe he said "2020 is a year of community" i immediately checked and this was before 2020 really kicked off with all the craziness the year had to offer
Amen brother! I’m 25 year old male who was born and raised in the church, I accepted Jesus in my heart early on, but singleness has messed with at times. There were a few years I felt super lonely & wanted to share with someone the love that God put in my heart. There was a friend I met at work & she was really pretty and all, which attracted me instantly but I’m also a shy person as well. We started as friends, but she new I liked her more than that & I asked if she would want to date a few time & she gently shut me down. We are still friends, but God brought to to a place of acceptance and peace that that wasn’t going to work. I learned a lot about God’s plan for me & about myself through. God exposed some insecurities & stubborn that I didn’t realize I had. So now that I’m in a better spot and mindset, I can see the good that came from that experience even tho the devil wanted to tear me down during the process. So for all you single people that read this. God is still good even when we don’t see it. He is in control & ultimately His timing is always the right timing. God bless & keep pushing forward!
The part about signs is so me😂. Im 22 and haven't dated either. There haven't been a lot of guys that I'm interested in. And don't get out to meet anyone but I some how think the smallest of things can mean that the few guys I have met were the one. "you got to talk to the person you want a relationship with" that's so true. I'm shy so I've definitely haven't talked to or asked anyone out. Sometimes my thoughts towards the one is crazy but I understand that and I understand what I want. The only guys that I was interested in weren't Christians and I don't know any. They all wanted the wrong things. It wasn't until recently that I understood how important it is for the person I'm with is a Christian. Never thought It mattered too much. Being a Christian was a bounce rather a priority. Just like you I feel I know a lot about how a relationship should be but haven't been in one myself. I also feel that I'm meant to be married. Like it's my purpose but I'm sure that God's purpose for me is to be single. I don't know just gonna wait and see what God is gonna do.
It actually depends. I have been single most of my life with a few relationships here and there. As soon as I am in one, I am grateful to be in them as I am use to being on my own. By in large, I think women are better equipped at being single then men are. Most men on the christian dating sites have been freshly out of a divorce or are seperated and " are searching for the one". Where as most women have single for a lot longer, sometimes a decade or more and are paired up with these men who are freshly out of divorces and have a lot to get through. There is an inbalance with life experiences and people who have had inbalanced in life experiences pair up and it can cause some issues around boundaries, communication and expectations. Singleness becomes shameful when people are made to feel shamed for it and then they end up in relationships with people that they shouldn't be in relationships in.
I’m single because I’m useless and unlovable. I’m not ashamed of being single but I am ashamed of not being good enough. God created me good but I made myself useless. Now the only hope I have is for God to answer my prayers for death. I ask in the name of Jesus, God, please let me die today.
I'm glad that I'm not married or have kids today. There's just so much going on in the world. I believe that's why I've not married yet. God doesn't want to give me anymore than I can handle. I also believe it could be he has a bigger plan for me.
I don't think there are lots of people who are ashamed per se of being single. I know lots of people who struggle with loneliness and sexual urges and that is a struggle within their walk of faith. No God will not kill your sex drive so don't even go there.
Not to be rude but I think this day and age people who are MARRIED should be ashamed because we know that MOST husbands CHEAT. In fact, listening to prostitutes, they say that more than 85% of their clients are MARRIED MEN. These days you can KEEP marriage. I am not interested in playing RUSSIAN ROULETTE with my LIFE and HEALTH. I feel SORRY for Married women these days. They are SHARING a Dude whether they like it or not. When these Dudes CHEAT on them, they still STAY with him.... That’s SHARING a man. I think people should be ashamed for SETTLING for less than what they know they deserve. SETTLING and staying with NARCISSTIC SOCIOPATHS. That's SHAMEFUL. I think being able to remain SINGLE is an ACCOMPLISHMENT, whereas marriages just show you COULDN'T stand on your own two feet EMOTIONALLY and MENTALLY. There's nothing more beautiful to me than a STRONG, SMART, INDEPENDENT lady. Now that's WINNING! Until GOOD, DECENT people come into your life, FALL IN LOVE with your PURPOSE in LIFE. What are you PASSIONATE about? What type of Work would you do for FREE? What are you really GOOD at? Also, work on BUILDING a very close RELATIONSHIP with GOD and CHRIST.
Just say "I'm single, but I'm in a relationship with God." It's funny how churches that encourage schmoozing end up distracting two people who saw each other from talking to each other. If it's a small enough Church, they'll end up actually talking. How does this happen at one of those huge churches? Just be happy where you're at.
I was in an abusive relationship, and since I left, I have spent my time trying to get closer to God. I am willing to submit, but knowing that ssf ociety turns the other cheek on abuse, I don't know bbn if I can ever be submissive ssd's I've to some. But I feel like I am trash if I just want BBC to be single.
This is what the apostle Paul says in the Corinthians: "7] I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." Regarding turning the other cheek, that's not how the verse should be interpreted. You are not supposed to tolerate or take abuse or be in an abusive relationship. And if you prefer being single, then that's your gift. God wants you to realize your gift. Best. [8] Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. [9] But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
what if parents say I gave birth to you and your grandparents having blessed to have grandchild/Grandchildren/ so why can't you make us grandparents so we could feel the happiness of being grandparents that our parents are having???
You are not the possession of your parents or grandparents. And its the Holy spirit that created your soul and not your parents. And you should serve God and not another human being. And such parents are narcissistic for wanting you to be unhappy to make them happy.
Plus i think why yout single is because God wants you to focus on other things arm improving your faith. You want a Godly spouse. You yourself meed to be too. Or maybe even mental physical issues. I mean jesus was single. Probably cuz he had to focus on him saving the world not be worried about women . He didn't have a desire because he would have time for a gf.
Here’s a message from a bitter 36 year old. If you’re single, it’s your fault, and God couldn’t be any more indifferent about your suffering. It’s just life and you get what you get. God doesn’t have any kind of special “will” or plan for your life. I held onto to all that spiritual BS for far too long.
"For the unmarried man is concerned about the affairs of the Lord, how he may please the Lord." Ashamed? I'm honored!
I am not ashamed of being single I just hate being single and want to have a wife and children like most men. I am very devout in the faith but being single sucks especially when you realize you are getting near your mid 20s. That peace of singleness is worthless to me. Sure if you don't want a relationship and don't want to have a family good for you but that ain't me. The mistake most Christians make is expecting God to give you your other half. Love requires free will and god refuses to interfere with it. So guess what that means? You actually have to put yourself out there. I am naturally shy due to autism but have been getting better. But being single is just burden for me at this point.
thank you, that's very encouraging, specially nowadays when being in relationship is so important for society buuuut God has a better plan!!
YES HE DOES🙌🏼
Does it matter if God has a plan but you’re unable to walk it?
Christian single adults will stop being ashamed when they are not ostracized, disenfranchised and ignored in churches. Which will probably never happen. Despite the fact that single adults are the fastest growing demographic out there today there remains a very, very small number of single adults in churches. I left church permanently because I didn't feel welcome or cared about in the churches that I attended and have no plans of ever going back. I'm glad you have addressed this but you've over-simplified this complex and very desperately under-reported issue.
The church doesn't care about its congregants forming relationships. I hear no sermons on singleness, marriage, and likewise.
I'm going to leave my church of 25+ years because I am the sad single. The young 21 yr old doesn't count. The widows don't count--they had someone.
Try being 40 years old + that has always been single and is still single.
Truth. And being single doesn't mean you are not as mature of a Christian. I have a bigger issue with this than anything else. Singles are treated like giant babies who should serve the married. Excuse me! No.
True. This is why I left the Catholic church. I dint know if Protestant churches are better in this respect.
@@AreutherehelloTrue. Which means that they are not really following Christ.
I just found this and I needed it. I’ll be 23 in May and I’ve been single my whole life. I’ve struggled with it this video was really nice to hear thank you.
Glad to hear that!
Lol, must not be the case anymore
I am a single woman, 37, and it can be hard.
thank you for the advice. i do have to admit, I do sometimes feel like I'm not good enough to be in a relationship because a lot of people want a "perfect relationship" but I think what makes it seem perfect is how much you love each other
I feel you!
Tony Rowan I agree
There's no a "perfect relationship".
I can't believe you are 21 my dude. I would've guessed 30-35.
There's definitely a societal pressure that overemphasizes romantic love as if that is the only love worth having. And you're right--it can be worse among Christians even though Paul made himself clear in 1 Co. 7 that marriage is a biblical option.
What I have learned (and take this or leave it--I'm just a 22 year old stranger on the internet), but what I have learned is that love can go to depths you could hardly imagine with anyone if you let it. So don't stress yourself out too much with labels. As I see it, the people you love are the people you would die for. If you don't have people outside your parents, siblings, and spouse like that, then I urge you to get more vulnerable. I think you'll be surprised at how close you can get to people once you let those walls down.
Have you notice that is young people and married people telling how older single people how they feel.
Valuable video - The only reason anyone feels 'shame' as being single is because of the idolatry the church places on marriage. Marriage is valuable but biblical singleness is blessed too. Who are we to assume we know what God's plan is for anyone? Stop seeing biblical singleness as 'somehow lacking' or 'not as mature'. It is NOT a waiting stage for marriage Live who you are in Christ in blissful rejoicing of this state. Throw off the shackles of the oppression that the world and even the idolatry of the church project on you.
The best comment. Thank you. I would like to encounter more of your comments because you concluded that it's Idolatry, which it is, although it hadn't' occured to me.
Amen!!! Preach brother! You are certainly blessed and anointed! Edit: one thing I’ve learned from being single the 20 out of 20 years of my life is that you have to seek God to seek first and focus on your “marriage” with Jesus because we are the bride of Christ and you can’t find a spouse before you have a solid foundation with Jesus.
Thank you!!
I have been an single and i always love to single along with lord Jesus Christ forever amen.
I love how you just put on different glasses for each of the clips 😂😂
But yeah, I definitely needed this video! Still kinda young (17), but it's kinda hard to be content in singleness when everyone around me is dating lol
Hey Christina! Glad you enjoyed the vid!
I'm a newly single widow and I'm telling you single life has its moments but I wouldn't jump into a relationship any time soon (hopefully). Single life is 🙌
😊
You were married though…
Whe he said "2020 is a year of community" i immediately checked and this was before 2020 really kicked off with all the craziness the year had to offer
Amen brother! I’m 25 year old male who was born and raised in the church, I accepted Jesus in my heart early on, but singleness has messed with at times. There were a few years I felt super lonely & wanted to share with someone the love that God put in my heart. There was a friend I met at work & she was really pretty and all, which attracted me instantly but I’m also a shy person as well. We started as friends, but she new I liked her more than that & I asked if she would want to date a few time & she gently shut me down. We are still friends, but God brought to to a place of acceptance and peace that that wasn’t going to work. I learned a lot about God’s plan for me & about myself through. God exposed some insecurities & stubborn that I didn’t realize I had. So now that I’m in a better spot and mindset, I can see the good that came from that experience even tho the devil wanted to tear me down during the process. So for all you single people that read this. God is still good even when we don’t see it. He is in control & ultimately His timing is always the right timing. God bless & keep pushing forward!
The part about signs is so me😂. Im 22 and haven't dated either. There haven't been a lot of guys that I'm interested in. And don't get out to meet anyone but I some how think the smallest of things can mean that the few guys I have met were the one.
"you got to talk to the person you want a relationship with" that's so true. I'm shy so I've definitely haven't talked to or asked anyone out. Sometimes my thoughts towards the one is crazy but I understand that and I understand what I want. The only guys that I was interested in weren't Christians and I don't know any. They all wanted the wrong things. It wasn't until recently that I understood how important it is for the person I'm with is a Christian. Never thought It mattered too much. Being a Christian was a bounce rather a priority.
Just like you I feel I know a lot about how a relationship should be but haven't been in one myself. I also feel that I'm meant to be married. Like it's my purpose but I'm sure that God's purpose for me is to be single. I don't know just gonna wait and see what God is gonna do.
This was hilarious "his favorite song is way maker its a sign"
Who I like they don't like me, who i don't like they like me...that is why every time I see myself and question...who am I 😅
Tell that to the rest of the Church who shames you for being single ("You're single because you're not ready yet/good enough.")
Awesome video! I like how you give great advice and insight, but you throw some humor into, its great!
Thanks, Hannah! That means a lot :)
Family and friends should mind their businesses whether you are single or not
Thank you for this video. I needed to hear this in this exact moment.
It actually depends. I have been single most of my life with a few relationships here and there. As soon as I am in one, I am grateful to be in them as I am use to being on my own. By in large, I think women are better equipped at being single then men are. Most men on the christian dating sites have been freshly out of a divorce or are seperated and " are searching for the one". Where as most women have single for a lot longer, sometimes a decade or more and are paired up with these men who are freshly out of divorces and have a lot to get through. There is an inbalance with life experiences and people who have had inbalanced in life experiences pair up and it can cause some issues around boundaries, communication and expectations.
Singleness becomes shameful when people are made to feel shamed for it and then they end up in relationships with people that they shouldn't be in relationships in.
I'm not ashamed, it's just a miserable un-enjoyable lonly life..
Preach it and amen!! Such a good word🔥🔥
Thank you!
I tell people that I don't want to rush into it. Everyone I know that has rushed into marriage has regretted it. Its true enough.
"2020 is the year of community for me" That's rough... here's to 2022!
The bloopers made my day!!😂😂 I’m 100% OK with being single though🙌🏼🔥🔥
😅😅
Plus relationships are hard too ! Single is hard too. Either way . Pros and cons to each thing.
I’m single because I’m useless and unlovable. I’m not ashamed of being single but I am ashamed of not being good enough.
God created me good but I made myself useless. Now the only hope I have is for God to answer my prayers for death.
I ask in the name of Jesus, God, please let me die today.
I'm glad that I'm not married or have kids today. There's just so much going on in the world. I believe that's why I've not married yet. God doesn't want to give me anymore than I can handle. I also believe it could be he has a bigger plan for me.
People used to tell me it was because of how I dressed. Relatio ship management must be more than that....
I don't think there are lots of people who are ashamed per se of being single. I know lots of people who struggle with loneliness and sexual urges and that is a struggle within their walk of faith. No God will not kill your sex drive so don't even go there.
Not to be rude but I think this day and age people who are MARRIED should be ashamed because we know that MOST husbands CHEAT. In fact, listening to prostitutes, they say that more than 85% of their clients are MARRIED MEN. These days you can KEEP marriage. I am not interested in playing RUSSIAN ROULETTE with my LIFE and HEALTH. I feel SORRY for Married women these days. They are SHARING a Dude whether they like it or not. When these Dudes CHEAT on them, they still STAY with him.... That’s SHARING a man.
I think people should be ashamed for SETTLING for less than what they know they deserve. SETTLING and staying with NARCISSTIC SOCIOPATHS. That's SHAMEFUL. I think being able to remain SINGLE is an ACCOMPLISHMENT, whereas marriages just show you COULDN'T stand on your own two feet EMOTIONALLY and MENTALLY. There's nothing more beautiful to me than a STRONG, SMART, INDEPENDENT lady. Now that's WINNING! Until GOOD, DECENT people come into your life, FALL IN LOVE with your PURPOSE in LIFE. What are you PASSIONATE about? What type of Work would you do for FREE? What are you really GOOD at? Also, work on BUILDING a very close RELATIONSHIP with GOD and CHRIST.
I'm a lesbian but even I know that's a terrible generalization of men. There are plenty of good, faithful men out there.
My friends make fun of me being single and vergin yes i do feel bad sometimes even they're my friends
Read them ehat the apostle Paul says about singleness in the Corinthians 2.
Needed this!!
😁
Try being almost 30!
And he is only 20!!! How.can people be so judgemental when they don't know your story.....
What's there to be ashamed of ? Getting married is not a commandment-The Man himself never married, never said it was necessary to follow Him.
Great advice!!👌💪
THANKS :)
Thank you for this ❣️
Just say "I'm single, but I'm in a relationship with God."
It's funny how churches that encourage schmoozing end up distracting two people who saw each other from talking to each other. If it's a small enough Church, they'll end up actually talking. How does this happen at one of those huge churches? Just be happy where you're at.
is he 20 ? wow seems like 30 )
That’s what I said
I was in an abusive relationship, and since I left, I have spent my time trying to get closer to God. I am willing to submit, but knowing that ssf ociety turns the other cheek on abuse, I don't know bbn if I can ever be submissive ssd's I've to some. But I feel like I am trash if I just want BBC to be single.
This is what the apostle Paul says in the Corinthians: "7] I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that."
Regarding turning the other cheek, that's not how the verse should be interpreted. You are not supposed to tolerate or take abuse or be in an abusive relationship. And if you prefer being single, then that's your gift. God wants you to realize your gift. Best.
[8] Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. [9] But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
I am ashamed. Everyone is getting married and there is stupid me never picked.
Thank you so need this
what if parents say I gave birth to you and your grandparents having blessed to have grandchild/Grandchildren/ so why can't you make us grandparents so we could feel the happiness of being grandparents that our parents are having???
You are not the possession of your parents or grandparents. And its the Holy spirit that created your soul and not your parents. And you should serve God and not another human being. And such parents are narcissistic for wanting you to be unhappy to make them happy.
I would love to get to know you and talk🤷♀️❤️
Yes it is.
Plus i think why yout single is because God wants you to focus on other things arm improving your faith. You want a Godly spouse. You yourself meed to be too. Or maybe even mental physical issues. I mean jesus was single. Probably cuz he had to focus on him saving the world not be worried about women . He didn't have a desire because he would have time for a gf.
Here from tik tok
It's because many Christian churches and Christians are unlike Christ. We should follow Christ.
4:04 I feel attacked.
I’m not ashamed of being single…I’m ashamed of being a single mother 😢
You shouldn't be - you are doing one of the most important jobs in Christ and who you are in HIM defines you not what others or society says
Ask Jesus for God's grace. That will free you crom shame. Also read about God's grace in the Bible.
WOW you look 23
Here’s a message from a bitter 36 year old. If you’re single, it’s your fault, and God couldn’t be any more indifferent about your suffering. It’s just life and you get what you get. God doesn’t have any kind of special “will” or plan for your life. I held onto to all that spiritual BS for far too long.
You may be sinner