Should Your Boyfriend Play Hitman III?
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- Опубліковано 29 січ 2021
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The new year has started with a hit...man game. That was my first ever experience with Agent 47 and I laughed at how bananas he is, but my boyfriend felt a little more cranky about some of the design choices. Please enjoy this very silly episode of Girlfriend Reviews!
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Tonight we are playing The Medium on Twitch! Should we review it though??? Tell us else what else to play! We're thinking of doing some classics soon. Skyrim finally?
Skyrim
The mass effect trilogy. Yes, I said trilogy. What do you mean there's a fourth one?
Yes Skyrim
Definitely review the Medium if you can, it looks really good
You guys should do Persona 5!
The thing about hitman is that there's always a correct way, a wrong way, and a million alternative and ridiculous ways to kill the targets, and all of them are unlockable achievements.
Basically like the right way, the wrong way and the army way
Not all of them have achievements. If you're going pure time attack without considering silent assassin you'll rarely get the best score or an achievement for that. Still I think the achievements and opportunities and intel and most mechanics in general are there to help first timers through a missions so that they can learn the map and then experiment and then do insane time attacks.
If you think Hitman is slow it's because you only played each map once and as a result you don't know the layout so you hit a lot of bumps along the ride that slow you down.
Unlockable achievements....assuming their servers don't kick you out and waste your time.
The three ways to play are: Mike, Jane and Andy 😉
@@joebaker1 I understood that reference
That’s good boyfriend material, playing a game he doesn’t like for his girlfriend’s amusement.
More like he asked for this
Girlfriend: can I watch you play video games
Boyfriend: *gets excited* of course you can
But now
Girlfriend: ooo its like goose game but you're a man
Boyfriend: noooo
Relationship goals.
with his tongue
Honestly, I jus wanted to comment the same thing. Then I saw someone already did.
Still waiting for the moment this turns into wife reviews
Well, he also probably played it because they want to make a video about it since it's the current hot new game and they'll get lots of clicks for it.
"He didn't like hitman 3, but he kept going cause it made me laugh" awww thats almost cute
Almost.
Almost?
Almost?
Almost?
@@winstonsmith77 aww man I was hoping other people would respond with almost?
Hitman and Goose Game are absolutely related, yes. Goose Game also pulls a lot from Metal Gear Solid no doubt, but it feels very much like a very friendly and G-rated distillation of the entire stealth genre, so it's no surprise that someone new to Hitman would immediately make that connection.
I think she just likes the goose game..
@@StayFractalesque who doesn't *honk*
Oh no the goose just stole all your likes!
*Goose-rated
There's also an untitled goose game Easter egg in Berlin :)
i think it’s a bit more than that. hitman and goose game both share elements which make the game less like a stealth game and more like a puzzle game. they can also often have similar senses of humour
Ah yes, I love playing a game where you play as Mr. Clean taking out the toughest stains that just won’t come out.
This comment is golden
Cleaning that final 0.1%
stains on society
@@ascaredmilipede7971 the final solution
@@MrWick-el4wk how about no.
0:48 Luigi holding a gun to his own head Lmao.
I'm such an idiot I didn't notice that lol
I didn't notice that
@@portorolla4157 well I had to pause after noticing it. Was just to funny to ignore.
Matt and his editing jokes.
Don't worry he's just summoning his Persona.
BABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Nobody's seen Matt and the Penguin in the same room, though.
Are you the world's greatest detective?
@@pizzadragon2699 Akechi got nothing on me
@@JesusHChrist1 I thought that was Batman lol
@@sadcoolboykevinosth812 what if he IS batman tho...
Shelby: "Thanks Honey for sponsoring this video"
Matt: *Murders 17 people with a shovel*
I'm digging it
I'm surprised you actually correctly counted this...
Gotta call a spade a spade
I was surprised how the shovel and the people perfectly lined up for a perfect swing and smack to the face everytime.😂 If you play any sport where you have to swing and hit, you know how difficult it is.
@@KirbySGM Surprised you actually counted to check if he counted correctly 👌😂
I'm disappointed at the lack of piano-playing in this Seth Everman simulator.
Hes the baaaald guy
@@joshevans3421 duh
I’m disappointed at the lack of sexual intercourse in this Johnny Sins simulator.
@@nuv2987 HAHAAHA
Speaking as someone that finished all the missions in hitman 2 multiple times: fair point, the game really isn’t for everyone now that I think about it, tho you really really missed the great one liners 47 gives after he completes the bulb light missions
Yeah it never really was for everyone, that's why when Square Enix made them do Absolution most people who loved Hitman hated it for being so deprived of its soul
big fan of 47 telling someone he's about to murder that "the food is to die for"
Yeah I got blood money for free (apparently the best game in the series) and just didn’t like it one bit
I'm big into stealth games (MGS series, Splinter Cell, and playing a stealth build if I can in every single RPG) but for some reason I can never get into Hitman. I guess because it's more of an undercover game rather than actually being stealthy.
I can see the appeal, but it's just not for me. Good that IOI doubles down on its formula though.
@@PristianoPenaldoSUIIII hilarious shit, my personal favorite is the one in Colombia when the cartel boss tells him to do his job (referring to 47 disguised as a tattoo artist) and 47 saying “will do” (referring to how he’s going to kill him with the ink machine), too good
This editing and the level of arrested development references is amazing
NO TOUCHING
Arrested development is one of my favorite shows ever (seasons 1-3 of course)
Firsttime?.gif
“I don’t know what I expected...”
"WHERE THE F'#+@K ARE MY HARDBOILED EGGS!"
The ending clip reminded me of "The Slap: Part 2"
I was looking for this comment! 😄
Dammit, 9 hours late to comment 😂
I agree.
Lol
I love that video. Sometimes I wanna reenact it.
Forced online single player is a concept that needs to die out quickly. I absolutely refuse to play any game that has it.
Seriously. I will not give my money to any company that does this.
What’s online single player?
why would devs even do this?
@@Soshi12005 single player games which force you to be online to play the game. If you're offline, you can't play the game.
@@jamiemeicheng6589 I think it's to track player style and preferences like cookies on internet browsing.
Its abysmal and I don't approve at all but I think that's why.
Holy shit, I never realised that the Goose Game is totally just an E rated Hitman or MGS.
they kinda wear the stealth aspect on their sleeve tho
@@MrHerecomesjohnny that just means the goose did it better. No one expects the goose, therefore making it the superior stealth operative
0:51 What's funny is, somewhere in the game there is a roadblock guarded by policemen and there's a sign with Goose on it.
It’s in Berlin. ZUTRITT VERBOTEN
Hitman ain’t for everyone, but it SPEAKS to some of us
To bald guys? You can try Rogain... I heard that is supposed to work.
5:19 this part had my laughing so damn hard. Like I was about to pass out do to a lack of oxygen.
I simply cant play Hitman any other way than going for Silent Assassin, when you get the hang of it, its the best shit ever. One of my favorite trilogies of all time.
Ain't happy till i got all Classic achivements in one game (including No evidence and Sniper Assassin).
Sniper Assassin probably wasn't intended to mean "shoot 3 targets lying unconcious on the floor from one foot away" but i ain't losing those "no body found" score points.
I was looking for your reply, my friend. You’re the only person I can think about when someone talks about Hitman (and sometimes the person talking about it it’s you tho)
It definitely scratches the OCD/completionist/speed run itches
cant wait for Elusive Contracts....
Classic Coin, Black Briefcase, Casual Undercover... feels good....
I can see how the story doesn't make sense when you jump into the third game without playing the first 2 or the expansions that came after each but if you have, that ending, hell this entire game is pure *chefs kiss*. Seriously, I cannot wait to see IO do the Bond game, I had doubts but holy crap this was amazing
I played Hitman 1 and 2 and watched some of 3, still have no idea what the story is about. They're great games though
@@Kelthret Same here.
If you bought Hitman III before January 31st then you would get Hitman 1 for free. You can just access the missions from inside the game. That's what I'm doing to catch up on the story.
@@Quotenwagnerianer Won't lie, the first game's story was something I literally skipped entirely and I didnt get into the story till the last mission of Hitman 2 and I REALLY got into it during the first Hitman 2 expansion in New York at which point I went back. 1 doesnt have the strongest story imo but 2 and 3 (especially) knock it out
47: This is what it means to lose everything.
Arthur: You're making a mistake!
47: It's mine to make.
Absolute chills.
Lost my shit laughing at the shovel massacre at the end 🤣🤣🤣
HEY WHAT *TONK*
PLEASE DON- *TONK*
WHO THE *TONK*
OH NO *TONK*
I'm laughing again just thinking about it.
@@invock it's the *TONK* that really sells it.
After watching the 10th person cower and still get hit with the shovel, why not try a different strategy? Like running away or something.
Okay this is my first time discovering this channel and...this might be the most hilarious review video I’ve ever watched? The concept is fun but also funny and the references and jokes are spot on 👌🏻
Most of their work is great and worth checking out
Go on a binge on their channel. Now.
Their Red dead redemption 2 review is hilarious
Brace yourself for a lot of catching up to do ;)
Welcome to greatness.
I love the Hitman games because they're puzzle games that pretend they're shooters.
They really are and people should stop thinking the opposite
And the protagonist is a goose pretending to be a man
@@captainleam4031 I believe you. Well, I want to believe you. The thing is, I kind of like puzzle games, but these feel so labored and contrived...
GF Reviews: Hitman is just a Goose in a disguise.
Me: *mind explodes at sheer concept*
The amount of npcs IOI put in one map really took a hit on the npc's intelligence and motor skills
The glitches they showed must be super rare. I have around 80 hours in the new hitman game and have never seen them.
dunno, it felt the same in Hitman 2, especially Miami, deadbrain npcs and a couple of clones
@@LiTTleGaBi21 yeah that's definitely the case, I was referring (though admittedly unclearly) to the geometry glitches they showed
@@LiTTleGaBi21 it’s because most npcs in crowds are just there for atmosphere
@@jimmu8689 yeah, I'm not blaming them, you don't really need to analyze every npcs, they are set dressing
I dunno why you'd include Metal Gear Solid V with the "other games" when you can go around squirting enemies with a little water pistol while wearing a chicken hat and sliding down a sand dune in a cardboard box with an anime girl poster slapped on the side of it.
If stealth games were all in a classroom, Metal Gear and Hitman would both be in the back cutting up together.
They are the least stealth from stealth games ironically, since they are probably the most famous
I took out the biggest bases in mgs v armed with nothing but a cardboard box and water pistol.
A+ fun.
"The biggest problem is that the player's default speed is still faster than the escort target's walk speed!"
Long time gamers: "First time?"
Yeah. I play on controller and if you tilt it to the end, you're too fast and if you tilt it slowly, you're going to slow.
Watch dunkeys ’assassins creed is boring’ vid
Game Devs: "Trailing a person in real time gives you the full sneaky spy experience".
Players: "ZZZzzz...mission failed because I got bored".
“Evil snail.” Do you have all of the Office memorized in your brain? I can’t think of any other way to pull such a specific reference. Good stuff.
Imagine seeing a bald man hitting a person with a fish...
Curiously, Russian has an expression "дать леща" (literally "to give a bream", and yes, bream is a kind of fish) that means roughly "to hit/to punch".
I'm still trying to figure out why his baldness is important to this........
Everyone is fooled by hitman games. no it's not a FPS and no it's not a RPG (kinda). Hitman game is actually a strategy game. It's not about completing the mission, It's about how you complete the mission.
It’s more puzzle than strategy on the spectrum. Strategy is more about dealing with unexpected scenarios with the tools you have available, puzzle involves a lot of level restarts to figure out the one correct way to do something.
I was hoping you’d play the Michael Scott scene where he falls into a Koi Pond @4:56
Hitman 1-3 always online has always pissed me off especially when it crashes all the time
0/5
"New personal best"
"Hey, what the..." *donk*
"Oh no!" *bonk*
"Please, d..." *donk*
"Hey, what the..." *dink*
"Oh, no!" *donk*
"OMG he's got a banana!"
"I took the John Cleese self defense class...I'm good."
The Arrested Development + Umbrella bit was hilarious. Perfect parallel.
So, Agent Goose then?
The feeling I get when you both upload a new video is the same feeling I get when I get to watch the next episode of my favorite tv shows.
It has been an absolute pleasure watching this channel grow and grow and GROW! Proud to say I've been here since the first few thousand subs - excellent job guys, very well deserved! 👏
Thank you ❤️
5:12
Hitman is in fact a game about the personal space.
The whole stealth genre is a actually meme once you start to play multiple game series I feel like on the surface they are all super serious but as soon as you actually start playing them you realise they are designed for goofy shit
"Let us fishslap the entire cast from knives out"
🤣 Long story short I'm wheezing 🤣
So Hitman's weapon of choice is 100%, certified, a banana?
One of the challenges I gave myself when playing hitman 1 (especially when I had to play offline) was the “kill everyone challenge”. Basically went very similar to the clip in the end
If you aren't already familiar, you should check out Many A True Nerd's channel - he's done Kill Everything Hitman challenges (along with Kill Everything and YOLO Fallout and a ton of other things like that) and he's fantastic.
If your boyfriend doesn’t kill all targets with a fish, then you need to find a new boyfriend
How on earth does one find a "evil snail" clip?
"I wish this was more like Doom Eternal!"
Last clip of the video:
>Cue BFG Division
>Rip and Tear with 37 consecutive shovel Glory Kills.
Once a great person said," Nothing is stronger than love, except an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher".
Should your Boyfriend play bioshock infinite
"Or What It's Like to Feel Your BF Replace You with A Magical, Doe-Eyed NPC"
the right words are "would you kindly"
wtf! I'm running thri this game now and thought man wonder if they'd review bioshock
The ending reminds me of that one slap video. He just slaps everyone
At the end, watching 47 with a shovel:
“A weapon to surpass metal gear!”
Mad love on the funky kong music for your ads. Honestly kept me watching, cause that tune makes me want to daaaaaaaance
I literally had no idea this game even came out.
Same
The game is as stealthy as its protagonist
Because your living under a rock
It's pretty good
@@wasd6287 as a person living under a rock currently, I am confused by this comment. What's so bad about it?
To each their own but this Hitman trilogy is one of my favorite games. (Just one large game now) Did Matt play Hitman (2016) or Hitman 2? If not play through those and Hitman 3 will be a whole different experience.
And watch videos of the other games since they all tie in
Hitman games are not for them. Some people just don't like the style of this game. I for one have been playing since hitman codename 47 and I couldn't be happier that hitman is back.
@@buttermilk5364 well that's good. I would rather have a game be proud of it's identity than changing them into something which fits mainstream
@@buttermilk5364 I think the issue is that they want more quicker / instant ways to eliminate the targets
when I got hitman 2016 I didn't understand the game much and tried getting the targets eliminated quickly and put me off the game
when hitman 2 came out I got more serious and watched how others play the game
now I mostly can get SA ratings or close on most missions
the game/s are quite good after you work out the mechanics but some don't try hard enough
@@buttermilk5364
I played Blood Money a legion of times, but from what I see in this review Hitman 3 is gonna be a hard pass
I love this channel so much that I’ll actually sit through the 15 second ads that UA-cam dumps in the middle so they get that sweet ad buck T.T
I’m so happy y’all uploaded I’ve been watching y’all old videos nonstop for pure gold entertainment!!!!! Y’all inspire me so much
This game isn’t for everyone but it drives me mad to see people playing it like a 6 year old plays GTA
I know the feeling. Well, I switch between amusement and frustration with it, depending.
@@PrimeofPerfection it’s hard not to be amused when a bald man goes around Dubai slapping everyone with a fish
Well, its either playing it gta style or playing it boring style
@@gamerzss not really. There's many ways to approach it which hold attention. If you're bored, that says more for you than it.
To add in, don't mean that as an insult either. Just that some enjoy the cerebral touch and learning more while some are more suited for quick, action things.
@@PrimeofPerfection yeah, i probably came off a bit blunt, thats all in my perspective ofc.
I have a hard time enjoying games like cs or pubg, as I see them as wall staring simulators, which is something I can do very well on my own and don't need a game to simulate that experience for me ;)
"Honey: stick around to the end to hear more!" Trust me, there's nothing you can tell us about Honey at this stage that we don't already know! XD
I love watching these videos so much I’ll rewatch videos like crazy
Watching people play Hitman without going for a Silent Assassin ranking and killing everyone recklessly is like seeing someone throw away $50 steak because they were craving a Big Mac. It breaks my heart every time.
Also, in regards to the “always online” rant, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway because playing GTA-style pretty much guarantees a 0 star rank anyway.
Still though, it’s not for everyone, but those of us who love it, LOVE it. It’s literally a James Bond espionage simulator and I praise da lord every time I think about it’s existence.
"the sh*t is bananas; b-a-n-a-n-a-s !"
Hey Shelby when are you going to review the masterpiece called
Mr krabs overdoses on ketamine
Ok I say this basicly to every new channel I stumble upone but HOLY SHIT this channel is the most underated one so far there has not been a single second I wondered how long is this video execpt when I didn't want it to end. Your use of pop culture video clips is one of the funniest I've seen and your way of talking is full of confidence and humore. Your Boy friend is a lucky man and can't wait for other videos untill then I will start bench watching like 30% of your channel.
Always a small Christmas when I see you guys upload.
❤️
I would love to see a subnautica review, Matt and you would love it.
I don't remember a gun in Luigi's Mansion something is going on 🤔
"cast of knives out" that precisely what I thought of that level.
5:40 i think that's the only time Michael made sense
So boyfriend has probably never been a splinter cell fan
*WHEN WILL "SHOULD YOUR PARTNER WATCH MASTERPIECE THE OFFICE" COME ON YOUR TO DO LIST?*
I literally got on this Chanel with plans to say I’m upset there hasn’t been a new video and BAM! There is one right here!!!
I freakin love this channel. I was having a bad night at work and watching this when I got home made me laugh in the first 30 seconds. Thank you
I wasn't this early to my kids birth...
I am having so much fun with Hitman 3 and don't agree with most of what you guys said, but hey.. we're all different in taste and expectations. And your insights on this are as valuable for you as mine are for me. Hooray to the gaming community
The “you tell Em babe” when Matt was ranting was so funny and adorable
Y'all's ability to pull the perfect clip from any number of movies/tv shows never ceases to amaze.
Hitman 4 return of the goose
Last time i was this early GME shares were still only worth 50 cents.
03:02 I love when she says: "You see..."
1:15 that sound by Shelby was too good LOL
7:30 “I shovel well. I shovel very well”
New girlfriend review! 👏👏👏 Yay!
That Luigi’s mansion visual gag at 0:48 is hilarious!
1:12 I just love her impression of the sound you hear when you get a legendary item in Warzone
“People who can’t play stealth games are weak.” - Confucius (likely)
This is one of the most underappreciate series ever: the game design, the gameplay is really fun and the visuals are optmized.
Don't pass this game franchise, you have a fun time!
That shovel rampage at the end. I laughed so hard I couldn't breath.
I love the editing, script, memes, gameplay and sounds. One of my favourite channels for content
IOI is the evil corp in ready player one. it's like they're not even trying to hide it anymore
My favorite level in Hitman 3, meaning the third game in the "World of Assassination" trilogy and not actually Hitman 3, the true Hitman 3 being Hitman: Contracts, was Dartwood, the level where you play out the most stereotypical murder mystery. Also, the Chongqing level was what Cyberpunk 2077 wishes it was.
So you mean to say if Cyberpunk was more like the Chongqing level everybody would be more happy with it? Sorry, I love Hitman 3 and Chongqing was a fantastic level but that must be one of the worst comparisons I've ever seen.
"He didn't enjoy playing but kept going because it made me laugh"
Awwwwww that's cute 😂
Just discovered this channel, been loving all the humor thrown into the reviews! I'm hoping to see you guys review Bayonetta/Secretary With Guns at some point, since it keeps getting call-outs in your other reviews! XD
Looking forward to more!
I’m more of a Dishonored guy myself. Y’all should play those. Those are good games.
I love the hitman series. Hitman 3 is definitely on my list
I feel like I'm years late to this channel but it has quickly become my favourite. Your references and meme queen moments tickle me.
I was about to skip past the honey sponsor until I realized she put FUNKY”S FLIGHT in as the background music!!
*WELL DONE*
The answer is probably yes
Agreed.
Ok I guess the answer was no. My prediction was wrong
@@crockoreptile damn they got us both.
I haven't been this early sense never.
Me neither
Im not early enough to post an early comment, but not late enough to be considered 'normal'
Oh my god, the shovel rampage was hilarious!
lmfao at that shovel whacking