Fentanyl Addict interview-Anthony

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  • Опубліковано 9 бер 2023
  • Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Anthony, a fentanyl addict on Skid Row.
    Here's a link to a GoFundMe campaign to help some of the people seen in SWU interviews: gofund.me/9ebad507
    For ad-free, uncensored videos and plenty of exclusive content please subscribe to the Soft White Underbelly subscription channel. It's $10 a month and watchable on Apple and Android mobile apps, Roku TV, Apple TV and Amazon Fire. You can subscribe at: www.softwhiteunderbelly.com
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @cynthiageracoulis8287
    @cynthiageracoulis8287 Рік тому +92

    My 23 yr old son died in Jan. I’d adopt Anthony and give him the family he deserves in a heartbeat. God Bless him.

    • @independentfilmfestival
      @independentfilmfestival Рік тому +3

      yes!

    • @zakarykovach3113
      @zakarykovach3113 Рік тому +12

      He’s gonna steal all your shit and sell it for fent

    • @jimbolic0809
      @jimbolic0809 Рік тому +10

      @@zakarykovach3113 I hope you find love in your life.

    • @toni9129
      @toni9129 Рік тому +3

      I wish you could adopt him and love him. He's so intelligent, his vocabulary, how he describes concepts. He has great potential if he could receive healing.

    • @WickedNature2112
      @WickedNature2112 Рік тому +3

      The bottom line is all these people have to want it....ive been there too. Once I got over dwelling on shit in the rear view mirror, I finally put it "in drive" and "focused on the road ahead"...which was an epiphany in 1991, where coke brought my 6 foot ass down to 110lbs. I'd turn sideways and disappear, I was so thin and sucked out. Damn near killed me too. Best thing I did was MOVE- terrifying, but, if this helps ANYONE OUT THERE, that's what worked for me...and still does to this day.
      I have Empathy for those stuck, yet some view me as callous because I NEVER played Victim: it's this: GET Over your shit or DIE trying to hide from it.

  • @immenselyitzchel5442
    @immenselyitzchel5442 Рік тому +292

    I’d love to see an update on this gentleman, I hope he comes across these comments and knows though he may feel lonely he has thousands who are rooting for him and admire his ability to be so magnetic with his energy and sharing his story and mindset. Sending lots of love. We are rooting for you, Anthony!

    • @minimalglitch6675
      @minimalglitch6675 Рік тому +18

      Exactly this. This interview hurt. I saw a bit of me in there, especially the addict and dual diagnosis etc. He is clearly someone that can help others, drifting is true...you need to have something and people to work for.

    • @handsupgivemeallyourmarshm4949
      @handsupgivemeallyourmarshm4949 Рік тому +1

      🥰

    • @alexandrae5328
      @alexandrae5328 Рік тому

      Pl lol p
      Orphan ooo pp😢 pop 😅

    • @melsh9
      @melsh9 Рік тому +2

      So perfectly said. We're rooting for you!

    • @heathledger6396
      @heathledger6396 Рік тому

      omg ur obsessed

  • @kw25627
    @kw25627 Рік тому +97

    What a handsome and intelligent man. I truly hope he finds healing and rest. I would love to hear him play the cello.

  • @nitinbansal1631
    @nitinbansal1631 Рік тому +358

    When you think deeply, you realise most of the troubled people only need a second chance and someone to love them.

    • @Sonbiii
      @Sonbiii Рік тому +10

      Real love from family and both parents is vital. Why is it so hard to love our children?

    • @cannotfindmyshoes3
      @cannotfindmyshoes3 Рік тому

      Yes.🙂

    • @jmag9480
      @jmag9480 Рік тому +8

      Sorry but there is help out there. Help beyond help out there. My sister lives on the street addicted to drugs. We grew up never wanting for anything. Had money food everything one could ask for. She's been giving chance after chance. This is a choice. Life is about making choices. Nothing can help until they seek it

    • @SevenHunnid
      @SevenHunnid Рік тому

      I love to do food videos while smoking weed on my UA-cam channel, to cure people’s boredom brotha

    • @tmstani23
      @tmstani23 Рік тому +4

      If only it were that simple. Drugs are addictive and mess up your reward system to the point where nothing else matters. You can make any justification you want and perhaps even be correct but at a certain point there is nothing but hitting rock bottom that will save you. And it looks like he already has so I doubt he will ever quit until he dies. Hopefully he will find a miracle within himself.

  • @seela349k7
    @seela349k7 Рік тому +134

    Anthony, I grew up with parents who were cold, angry and emotionally neglectful. It has taken me my whole 64 years to learn that love is not something you should have to earn from your parents.

    • @mpat100
      @mpat100 Рік тому +9

      Blessings and healing for you.

    • @marinaephremis7906
      @marinaephremis7906 Рік тому +4

      Amen

    • @caitybug.
      @caitybug. Рік тому +5

      I’m 19 going down the same path as Anthony and can relate a lot to his upbringing, his type of thinking, and the way he explains how he feels. Being angry towards people who want to show any sort of “love” or caring, the “get the hell away from me, where were you then? Not around.” Is definitely relatable. The “I don’t need you, please don’t leave” conflict. It’s hard having always felt alone.

    • @mpat100
      @mpat100 Рік тому +3

      @@caitybug. Blessings for you in your future Caitlyn 19 is a hard age to be

    • @MarioGomez-nd2mx
      @MarioGomez-nd2mx Рік тому +2

      Yep. My parents got married too young and we're mentally abusive especially my so called "dad". He's an abusive alcoholic. My mom sadly died last September of heart disease. The good thing is my mom and me made up and had a great relationship. R.I.P. Mom.❤

  • @MichelleSmith-xy7hk
    @MichelleSmith-xy7hk Рік тому +467

    This one hit hard. Anthony is such an intelligent, self-aware and articulate person and it’s so sad that he’s talking about having just given up. I cried when he said he was the loneliest person in the world and cried again when he talked about keeping family close at the end. Despite acting as though he didn’t care about life or really anything, at the end his true sadness and fear came out. I feel incredibly sad for him that his parents didn’t show him the love he needed to be able to feel secure enough to live a full life. I really hope things change and he finds that spark to turn things around.

    • @onepartyroule
      @onepartyroule Рік тому +20

      Agreed. I wish he was my friend.

    • @eoinmcg88
      @eoinmcg88 Рік тому +4

      The man is a spoilt baby

    • @917mary
      @917mary Рік тому +10

      Interesting guy! Although he seems mild mannered, I can see childhood trauma that can turn him into Dexter.

    • @hannatadesse2117
      @hannatadesse2117 Рік тому +9

      you said it best...I wish I could hug him through the screen

    • @redrognav1
      @redrognav1 Рік тому

      ​​@@onepartyroule he'd steal your sh*t. Don't romanticize a drug addict. They lie and steal to survive

  • @MommyWalrus
    @MommyWalrus Рік тому +37

    "The drugs is what I've chosen" as he stares straightforward into the lens... profound honesty. What an interview!

  • @tonantzincarrasco6526
    @tonantzincarrasco6526 Рік тому +41

    I cried myself to sleep watching this. I used to be this person. All I wanted was to be loved and have my mom accept me. You are loved Anthony! By all of us!

  • @casja
    @casja Рік тому +127

    Anthony is so articulate and incredibly self aware... I'm a social psychology graduate student and can imagine sitting next to him in one of my seminars and feeling as if I'm sitting next to an emotional and intellectual genius... Anthony, don't give up. You have so much going for you between your well-spoken-ness, your intellect, your self awareness, and your appearance. You could do a lot of good in this life!

    • @nicoeeek.7181
      @nicoeeek.7181 Рік тому +6

      I totally agree.

    • @michellebarbour5777
      @michellebarbour5777 Рік тому +4

      Cass , Maybe the issue is not with Anthony (whom I agree is a bright, empathic man) but perhaps we need to put our minds to the issue of WHO makes Fentanyl? Who gives the drug a liscense? Anthony would have smoked lots of weed, maybe a bit of crack and possibly even dabbled with heroin a few years ago. He would have had a really good chance of recovery from all these substances (according to research). With Fentanyl, it will be much tougher and his outcome looks more bleak. As a Social psychology graduate, I hope that you might investigate the horrors of addiction and why/how it's got harder to recover in your post grad?. 'Care about an individual is a start, think about their bigger issue is real care, do some research and possibly make a difference'. Good luck to you. from a hopeful retired psychology academic U.K.

    • @Mandyx92
      @Mandyx92 Рік тому

      Nobody asked

  • @anikasvellte
    @anikasvellte Рік тому +238

    He seems like a really nice smart and well articulated guy. So lonely and wounded. I feel for him. Prayers lifted for him to find healing love and a place where he feels he can be his authentic self be appreciated and strive🙏💓

    • @tedijune6759
      @tedijune6759 Рік тому +2

      AnikaSvellte; I feel the same for him…

    • @TimjanT
      @TimjanT Рік тому

      Couldn't agree with youre reflection more. Good choice of words, you nailed it 🏵️

    • @SweatyWelder68
      @SweatyWelder68 Рік тому +1

      I feel the same way as well this young man is soooo smart and well educated...and he is in the lowest of missery....we need to send LOve his way folks!!!II call his future bright!!!I call him Blessed !!I call him Loved and full of peace and comfort!! Father God please do not let him die on the streets!Amen!!

    • @HiGlowie
      @HiGlowie Рік тому +1

      @@theredhotchilipepperssexof4269 no one wants your shitty clickbait

    • @stephenpmurphy591
      @stephenpmurphy591 Рік тому +1

      Sadly I don't believe him.
      Drug addicts break many hearts & leave deep emotional wounds.
      Those family members, close friends & news friends never seem to matter.
      Everyone else is a bad person.
      I still don't believe him.
      My cousin was just like him he left many deeply hurt family members.
      His story we're all horrible people even though my wife & I didn't press charges after stealing my identity.
      Auggie stole over forty nine thousand from his parents, siblings & me and my wife.
      He still lives on the streets.
      Still blames all of us.
      The family members of drug addicts never matter only them.

  • @Cloveis
    @Cloveis Рік тому +152

    Anthony seems really self aware. He knows he has potential, and I think a lot of the people here see it too. He can definitely be helped

    • @bloomerdavid
      @bloomerdavid Рік тому +24

      Sometimes the smarter abuse victims can be the toughest to heal.

    • @gregbors8364
      @gregbors8364 Рік тому +14

      “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
      - J. Krishnamurti

    • @fingerprint5511
      @fingerprint5511 Рік тому

      ​@@gregbors8364 this 🙏

    • @hugogiblets
      @hugogiblets Рік тому +2

      Yes. But, CAN be helped is a lot different than WANTS to be helped.

    • @Cloveis
      @Cloveis Рік тому

      @@hugogiblets that is true, I agree. Awareness is the first step though! I wish him and anyone in his situation the best

  • @mattduncan2012
    @mattduncan2012 Рік тому +95

    One of my favorite interviews so far. His self awareness is impressive. I pray he finds a purpose for his life. Being drawn to the dirt. as he said may indeed be his purpose. He should find a way to work with people in the gutter. All humans need a purpose! Without we are lost and totally self destructive.

  • @student22044
    @student22044 Рік тому +91

    This pulls at the heart strings. This guy looks like a 50s film star. I hope he discovers a miracle out on the sidewalk. ❤

    • @seltzermint5
      @seltzermint5 Рік тому +4

      When he speaks it reminds me of Woody Allen.

    • @jupitermoon8671
      @jupitermoon8671 Рік тому +3

      I totally thought he had that look too!

    • @Lovereignsupreme
      @Lovereignsupreme Рік тому +1

      Jimmy Stewart/Carey Grant

    • @stephenpmurphy591
      @stephenpmurphy591 Рік тому

      @@Lovereignsupreme No, River Phoenix & Keanu Reeves My Own Private Idaho.
      I'm not sure he comprehends reality or honestly.

  • @stockzy1
    @stockzy1 Рік тому +39

    "where were they before when things did matter to me" ... there's a bitterness that lives deep inside him for not having that support when he was younger. He really and truly thought about the biggest lesson he learned and there it was...what he's wanted all along...a family...and a sense of belonging ...xx

  • @baghodler508
    @baghodler508 Рік тому +119

    Almost seems like a well educated actor playing a fentanyl addict

    • @christina8661
      @christina8661 Рік тому +2

      He speaks like timothee chalamet

    • @stephanipeloquin4631
      @stephanipeloquin4631 Рік тому +23

      We're all actors, and life is but a stage.

    • @ddz1375
      @ddz1375 Рік тому +1

      @@stephanipeloquin4631 full of Sound and Fury.

    • @billg7205
      @billg7205 Рік тому +11

      He's not an actor. Organized religion doesn't teach people to be strong, confident, stand up for personal boundaries, and other qualities that you need in life. Several minutes into the interview he's about as close to myself in type as I've seen here. Almost didn't watch it, as you get burned out on seeing yet another sad story. He's also dead on (commenting as I'm listening) that traditional recovery does not work... for a number of reasons. Most educated and/or skilled people don't admit to being addicts, as there's the stigma that you don't have the traditional reasons aka excuses for being one. BTW I'm a known master modeler of scale flying aircraft. The skid row stereotype of addicts being low intellect 1st grade dropouts isn't even true on skid row.

    • @midmomom2490
      @midmomom2490 Рік тому

      @@billg7205 I don’t agree organized religion is bad for everyone

  • @kentonian
    @kentonian Рік тому +109

    Just goes to show that love is more important than money, grades, careers. He needed more love. Tough to repair those deep wounds.
    There are genuine people in the 9-5 world, yes we do sometimes get a bit obsessed with getting new possessions etc. But for a big proportion of us love comes first.
    I hope Anthony finds a path to a healthier lifestyle where he can heal and build. He would have a lot to give.
    That maybe the way you are now but not the only way you can be.
    Big hug from England and please be kind and not let your addiction hurt others as much as possible.

    • @stst77
      @stst77 Рік тому +4

      I made a similar comment. The child who is loved is better off than the child who has Money, experiences and education.

    • @kentonian
      @kentonian Рік тому +2

      @@stst77 yes, without a doubt. Also I'd add that kids need attentive parents. That do activities with them. Enjoy spending time with them. Encourage them to be brave and let them make their own mistakes.
      I have 2 adopted boys that were taken from the parents for neglect, I wished it didn't have to happen but at least the cycle was broken for these two.

    • @stst77
      @stst77 Рік тому +2

      @@kentonian i am happy your sons have a someone that cares now!

    • @stephenpmurphy591
      @stephenpmurphy591 Рік тому

      @@stst77 We've only heard his side.
      He's a crack addict & fentanyl addict still using daily hourly.
      I'll say this again family members of drug addicts never matter.
      All the emotional chaos.
      All the emotional sucker punches to the gut.
      I don't believe him.
      He needs to seek treatment.

  • @elz_bytes
    @elz_bytes Рік тому +139

    If I could give this guy a hug, I would if he'd let me. This man needs love. He needs support. He's so smart and very well educated and so self aware. I hope the universe cradles this man and keep him protected along his journey.

    • @tayjay1164
      @tayjay1164 Рік тому +4

      I was just sitting here thinking the same thing. Bless you.

    • @elz_bytes
      @elz_bytes Рік тому

      @pouya why did you write that on my comment?

    • @lisarincon3527
      @lisarincon3527 Рік тому +3

      I want to hug this guy for an hour!

    • @TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet
      @TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet Рік тому +4

      You don’t know anything about this dude from a 30 minute video yet people instantly make assumptions when you can’t know whom he really is.

    • @TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet
      @TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet Рік тому +1

      @@elz_bytes It’s social media. That’s why.

  • @joshuashields4504
    @joshuashields4504 Рік тому +30

    This guy is rare. I totally understand what he means when he explains how conventional styles of recovery tend to not work for him. He explained something in two minutes that I’ve been trying to put my thumb on for twenty years!😂😂
    This guy is extra special, and I hope he can find a reason and a form of recovery that is suitable for him. Wishing you nothing but the best my friend. And thank you for another banger Mark!

  • @IbHustln
    @IbHustln Рік тому +14

    Good looking dude. He's right the corporate world is completely inauthentic, if you're not a narcissist you probably won't go too far. Anthony seems like he'd be an excellent writer!

  • @taylorpilewski
    @taylorpilewski Рік тому +5

    Something about his voice. If he could cleanup he could absolutely find work in voice acting. For ads, for cartoons, audibook reading, whatever. He is fantastically articulate and his voice has a pleasant "airyness" to it. Could listen to him all day.

  • @dianaharmon4914
    @dianaharmon4914 Рік тому +20

    I’ve met so many people like Anthony in my time in recovery. BRILLIANT, beautiful humans who have this horrible malady of the mind. Anthony, if somehow you see this comment, please don’t give up. Life can be beautiful again and you can feel peace. I’m here among so many others if you need someone trustworthy in recovery. 🖤

  • @denisewells2992
    @denisewells2992 Рік тому +6

    That sigh at the end broke me. Goodness, that feels like truely the most honest moment in the whole interview.

  • @isacece1334
    @isacece1334 11 місяців тому +3

    This gentleman is amazing. The big sigh and the long pause with the eyes closed at the end was profound…he has an incredible soul not to mention a fantastic speaker

  • @caitybug.
    @caitybug. Рік тому +12

    I’m 19 going down the same path as Anthony and can relate a lot to his upbringing, his type of thinking, and the way he explains how he feels. Being angry towards people who want to show any sort of “love” or caring, the “get the hell away from me, where were you then? Not around.” Is definitely relatable. The “I don’t need you, please don’t leave” conflict. It’s hard having always felt alone.

    • @djangotrane
      @djangotrane Рік тому

      Hope you can find the support you need. It’s sometimes impossible to believe, but loneliness does not need to be your future!

    • @ismanovska
      @ismanovska 5 місяців тому

      When we are young things seems so grim at times. I swear it's not that dark..you can get through it....

  • @bellabelle8490
    @bellabelle8490 Рік тому +33

    My heart goes out to you Anthony, you deserve more.

  • @Bratcowski
    @Bratcowski Рік тому +42

    Such innate intelligence and so incredibly articulate. I hope he finds his way back because I believe he could help so many people! Praying for this young man to find healing and sobriety!

    • @weirdmood8102
      @weirdmood8102 Рік тому +7

      Sometimes, our "intelligence" is the very thing holding us back. We know we're intelligent, logical, well- spoken, etc , so we think we can logic our way through the issue. I think we also tend to believe that we have more control over the situation than reality would suggest.
      It took one of the " lowest" people on earth questioning my reasoning for my eyes to be opened. I was fortunate to be sent to the top treatment centers around the country, access to the best therapists, showered with love and support, but the one and only thing that could get through to me wasn't privilege and it wasn't my intelligence; it was someone viewed by society as literally the lowest of the low- humans. He was the most looked down upon in a prison full of losers, and he was questioning what was wrong with ME.
      It opened my eyes literally instantly. He was basically just asking why I kept doing this shit, it wasn't a serious talk he gave me or anything of the like, but I heard it loud and clear. If THIS guy is questioning what's wrong with me, I'm obviously a huge fucking problem.
      I obviously don't want to be a problem. I don't want to be a loser. I don't want to be a piece of shit. And, since I wasn't out robbing people, stealing things, hanging out with terrible people, etc , I thought I was OK. I was well aware I had a serious addiction, but I justified it by thinking the only harm it caused was financial, and that wasn't an issue.
      I remember it like it was yesterday, but as soon as he said that to me, I immediately recognized I was the problem. I made a decision that very moment to change, and I haven't used a drug since. It's been almost 6 years now, and I've built a completely new life. I had to start from the very bottom ( prison, gov housing, min wage job, etc) , it is taking Time, but I currently have a fantastic life. Relationships repaired , financially comfortable, beautiful relationships/family, etc.
      I'm not trying to toot my own horn, I just see alot of people here mention these guys intillect as a possible saving grace, but after being in institutions the majority of my life, I've seen that the vast majority of us seem to be quite intelligent, and it seems to be a negative attribute, more so than a positive one in our particular cases.
      Either way, sorry for the freakin essay I just spewed out. It certainly wasn't my intention, but here we are! 😄
      Hope you have an awesome day.

    • @Bratcowski
      @Bratcowski Рік тому

      @@weirdmood8102 I appreciate your candor and explanation! And congratulations on your continuing journey 🙏🏼

  • @deliaby4557
    @deliaby4557 Рік тому +21

    Man this guy seems like a really great guy who just needs some real help. I just want to give him a hug and feed him! So sorry life has been so rough my guy. I hope you find your own slice of peace and happiness someday!

  • @franmoreno5977
    @franmoreno5977 Рік тому +16

    This made me cry...he's so intelligent and caring..I hope he realizes he deserves to live and help himself. I pray he will turn things around and know that there are people who actually care.❤

  • @majinbuu7846
    @majinbuu7846 Рік тому +21

    I really like Anthony, he seems very honest.. he's obviously intelligent, he's generous and overall genuine.
    I hope you find what you want man.

  • @mrblackitalian3715
    @mrblackitalian3715 Рік тому +24

    As I watched this interview it seemed like nothing could change his mind. It is what it is and this was his life. No emotions until the end where he couldn't hide it anymore. He wants that love and just prove he can do right. That Fentanyl......... got a hold of an intelligent mind.🥺

  • @tamarakelly2298
    @tamarakelly2298 Рік тому +7

    This one hit hard, when he stopped, and said family, wow just felt his soul was hurting so bad. I really hope someone shows him love, so he can love himself.

  • @johnruvolis874
    @johnruvolis874 Рік тому +24

    That was really thought provoking. A lot of people think like that even if they don't take it to this extreme.

  • @stuzz3511
    @stuzz3511 Рік тому +73

    This guy's a winner, not a loser! You are loved Anthony and you can do this buddy..1 step at a time. You got this!! Someone please give this lovely man a job!! 🙏 ❤✌

    • @bloomerdavid
      @bloomerdavid Рік тому +2

      What is your determination based by which you judge others on weather or not they’re winners/losers?

    • @TheTrillaTron
      @TheTrillaTron Рік тому +4

      @@bloomerdavid lmao starting fights for no reason.

    • @bloomerdavid
      @bloomerdavid Рік тому

      @@TheTrillaTron something funny?

    • @stuzz3511
      @stuzz3511 Рік тому +1

      @@bloomerdavid Said no one...EVER!

    • @TheTrillaTron
      @TheTrillaTron Рік тому

      @@bloomerdavid lolol

  • @rosegrangerw
    @rosegrangerw Рік тому +6

    It would be interesting to hear more about his childhood, as well as his parents perspective. It seems like there was quite a jump from his childhood to addiction without explanation

  • @sandymclean9630
    @sandymclean9630 Рік тому +13

    Nice to hear Anthony speak & so intelligently
    So sorry for the feelings from childhood
    I understand
    Respect from New Zealand 🪴🌴

  • @oceanai1924
    @oceanai1924 Рік тому +17

    This was so heartbreaking to watch. He doesn't even realize what a gift to the world he is with all his talents, wisdom and calmness. I really hope he sorts through that deep pain and is able to come out the other side.

    • @xotleti
      @xotleti Рік тому

      All of this can actually become hell. I'm very much like him and I'm also super conscious about my life and how it's probably not going to end up well.

    • @kantcake
      @kantcake Рік тому

      That is where everyone gets it wrong. Anthony KNOWS he is a gift to the world; he also KNOWS the world has no idea what to do with that. It's even worse.

  • @jpinvestcebu
    @jpinvestcebu Рік тому +20

    Wow, Anthony your life is so similar to mine in so many ways it's wild listening to your story. Being a bit older now I can tell you that you'll always have struggles, but if you find a purpose other than getting high, you can and will pull out your current rut. All the hopes and prayers your way brother, stay strong and find that purpose.

  • @imani_malik_L7777
    @imani_malik_L7777 Рік тому +6

    Dude is like a Ferrari with no driver collecting dust on the side of the street. Makes me grateful for the millions of tiny specs of inspiration that keep me going from one day/week/month/year to the next. You can be the smartest most talented insightful person in the universe but if you have no goals, than you have no drive, and you become weak, and than what is there to look forward to besides suffering? Drug addiction is the most demanding profession in the world man, it takes everything from you and gives you nothing.

  • @jenniferpieters7984
    @jenniferpieters7984 Рік тому +10

    Anthony is so very charming! He’s handsome, kind, smart. You have sooo much potential don’t let the streets be your last home! You are worthy

  • @michellemarie08
    @michellemarie08 Рік тому +17

    Probably one of my favorite interviews!! I wish we could hear more about him!!

    • @isacece1334
      @isacece1334 11 місяців тому

      Yes… we’d love to see a revisit on Anthony

  • @davecaldwell445
    @davecaldwell445 Рік тому +8

    I've read most of the comments here. I hope Anthony is able to read them, too. He literally has hundreds of people on his side -- far more than he could have imagined, I'd bet. Hundreds of us are behind you, my friend. You truly are not alone. We hear you.

  • @milicagrujic1361
    @milicagrujic1361 Рік тому +43

    Thank you for all the work you've given us Mark. I'm becoming a better person because of you.
    Sending love and gratitude From Beograde, Serbia.
    ❤️

  • @Sammysmys
    @Sammysmys Рік тому +15

    Top 3 most relatable and profound engagements I've ever seen here. Anthony isn't wrong many lead an inauthentic life and are disingenuous. I really really really appreciate you both for making this happen and dare I say I love who you are Anthony!

  • @smartalec8855
    @smartalec8855 Рік тому +9

    This is a perfect example of how shit parents can absolutely ruin a human being. Anthony could have been a happy well adjusted young man. Listening to him speak you could imagine him as a Harvard graduate had he had parents who didn’t have their heads up their asses. Such a sweet, thoughtful guy. I hope you read this Anthony. Hang in there.

  • @tamiwallace7572
    @tamiwallace7572 Рік тому +21

    So much potential, hope he gets help. Such a wonderful young man. My heart goes out to him.

    • @bloomerdavid
      @bloomerdavid Рік тому

      Until he steals everything you’ve got.

  • @whoisharo4689
    @whoisharo4689 Рік тому +10

    In a lot of my research on addiction, i learned that about 85% of addicts were highly intelligent people - some with higher than avg IQs too (intelligent and high IQ arent the same). This guy reminded me of this.

    • @fineart6867
      @fineart6867 Рік тому +1

      they are too smart for their own good. the intelligence is the ability to fool or manipulate people to get drugs.. anyone who wants drugs will become smart to get them

  • @jeffreytruckenmiller2284
    @jeffreytruckenmiller2284 Рік тому +11

    Dude should get into acting or something. Has a lot of deep sophisticated emotions to convey on an artistic level

  • @Neepslol
    @Neepslol Рік тому +26

    Crazy.. Anthony and me grew up very close to each other in the exact same society. It’s lead me to feel and be in the almost same position as him. Drugs, prison, depression, just an array of emotions. Just like he said, grew up with all the opportunities but it didn’t matter

    • @KayciazWorld
      @KayciazWorld Рік тому +2

      I'm so sorry💔 I pray that you both can heal and find purpose in your lives. Whether either of you realize it or not, you matter, you're needed, and you are loved beyond measure. ✝️🙏❤️

    • @katarinahinsey3931
      @katarinahinsey3931 Рік тому

      It’s what you make of it, in any situation. It’s never too late to find love in this world.

    • @colettespencer3357
      @colettespencer3357 Рік тому +1

      I understand. Without love, it's an empty life. I am learning to love myself. I'm 53. It's taken a long time. You can do it. Don't give up.

    • @isacece1334
      @isacece1334 11 місяців тому

      @@colettespencer3357 that is the same as me I’m 54 and just recently learning how to love myself

  • @sammilyn8685
    @sammilyn8685 Рік тому +8

    God this one really broke my heart. Anthony deserves so much, and he has the capability more than anyone I’ve seen or known to overcome his addictions. Being self aware is key and he has it all the way.

  • @mangohavoc6428
    @mangohavoc6428 Рік тому +6

    This channel is so powerful. So many stories, so many different kinds of people from different upbringing. It goes to show addiction can effect really anyone. It’s people like Anthony that hit me the hardest though.
    He is very obviously articulate, knows about his faults and his obstacles. Yet the drugs still have an almost ethereal hold on him. I have so much respect and hope that he can conquer his ailments.
    Great stuff SWU!

  • @dubtechnosessions3161
    @dubtechnosessions3161 Рік тому +29

    To be human is to suffer. I relate to you in so many ways Anthony. It is tough, so many of us in this world sparkle yet society drives our shine into the dark. If not completely consumed by the darkness our inner sparkle becomes dull over time do to the mistreatment we experience at the hands of others. Just remember Anthony
    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Be kind to yourself Anthony.

  • @Iamnoturmomma
    @Iamnoturmomma Рік тому +6

    It’s so sad that there are so many souls walking around today lacking love, the feeling of belonging, fulfillment & belief that their life’s can get better. No wonder so many turn to drugs, when they have nothing to loose, why not? This world is really lacking love and understanding on such a deep level. This man seems to have amazing insight, but he can’t see what a truly unique & wonderful human being he truly is and what he has to offer this world…

  • @MFK1967
    @MFK1967 Рік тому +25

    Before hearing these interviews, I don’t think I realized how well spoken and intelligent some of these people are…

  • @Brandon84J
    @Brandon84J Рік тому +19

    Some of the things Anthony said in this hit so close to home. I chose to go to a detox center, and it was only for alcohol, but it's because I have some undiagnosed issue(horrible anxiety), and while trying to get help, the doctors seemed to only think I am trying to get high, while I'm sincerely just trying to live a day in my life like I feel as if I'm a normal person. I stopped drinking caffeine because of how badly it makes me nervous. I don't know what I have, and I will not diagnos myself, but I feel like everything I did to prove that I need help was forced. It just wasn't genuine help. I'm still, to this day, struggling with my disability, and it's yet to be diagnosed. I'm misunderstood, my dad hates me because sometimes I seem normal, but I'm just not. I told that man, when I was 12 years old, before I even knew what anxiety was, that something was wrong with me, and he turned to me.... and told me that I'd never see a doctor on his dime, so what did I do? I started taking drugs to feel better. I started drinking to feel better. I did a lot of things that weren't healthy. I never stole, I never did heroine, but I still had to self medicate myself just to feel like a functioning person. I used to bring a bottle of tequila with me, in my back seat, to work, and I would go to my car every 30-45 minutes to take a big swig just to calm my nerves. That's not addiction, that's a need to feel normal. I can only hope that my future doctor, if I ever get one, will be able to see this, and understand that not everyone is just trying to get high, but to be able to feel normal for even a moment. Life has passed me by, and no one has ever helped me with my mental disease. No one.... except me

    • @Brandon84J
      @Brandon84J Рік тому

      I wish the best for Anthony, I hope that someone hears his pain, and helps him.

    • @vonderloo3184
      @vonderloo3184 Рік тому +2

      Thats right, no one will help you but yourself. Its a chore to keep your head up & keep on keeping on treading the water with depression, but you must. Handle your day to day tasks & problem solving. One thing at a time. Btw you do know that alcohol is a depressant, & will not make you feel better. Maybe just try one drink before bed time.
      Im afraid Anthony has no desire to help himself as you do.

    • @bloomerdavid
      @bloomerdavid Рік тому

      This is not about you.

    • @Brandon84J
      @Brandon84J Рік тому

      @@bloomerdavid I didn't make that comment for me, it's for US, you fucking twat. Go fucking be a bitch to someone else

    • @ohsilveronewithattitude6819
      @ohsilveronewithattitude6819 Рік тому

      I totally understand what you are saying. What Anthony said so makes total sense. There is no one size fits all when it involves recovery in an addicts life.

  • @angelakent598
    @angelakent598 Рік тому +18

    I think he's probably had a lot of trauma due to his grandmother's death. Trauma, depression and not having a purpose has probably played a big part and his situation. So many people fall through the cracks and just don't get the right help that they really need. This really snowballs after a while. I'd love to see a follow up on him. Such a sensitive soul. 💗

  • @thestingypenguin4224
    @thestingypenguin4224 Рік тому +9

    This guy is so intelligent and it’s so sad to see I hope you can provide this guy with help because it’s clear he doesn’t belong where he is so well spoken and so intelligent deserves a lot better

  • @aaaxthelm
    @aaaxthelm Рік тому +11

    Wow. A great interview. I hope his parents see it. What an articulate young man.

    • @phillipcooke500
      @phillipcooke500 Рік тому +3

      His parents definitely need to see it.

    • @shimmer8289
      @shimmer8289 Рік тому +2

      His parents should be proud Anthony has more soul than most men I've met doing the 9 to 5

  • @AM-sk1tv
    @AM-sk1tv Рік тому +20

    What a lovely person. God bless him.

  • @hannahcleveland4858
    @hannahcleveland4858 Рік тому +7

    This has been one of my favorite interviews. Anthony, you seem like such a great person with so much to offer. I hope that you find a meaningful path for yourself, and maybe one day, you will have family to keep close.

  • @monicawhitaker5526
    @monicawhitaker5526 Рік тому +3

    I loved listening to his story. You can see in his eyes he has so much more to tell. Prayers to you!

  • @onepartyroule
    @onepartyroule Рік тому +7

    I think Anthony has an old soul quality about him. There’s something very engaging about the way he communicates.

  • @merlinasmith6897
    @merlinasmith6897 Рік тому +6

    Hey Anthony, I hope one day you are able to find a reason to choose yourself. I had a drug addiction my entire youth and grew up feeling unloved and rejected. No affection or words of affirmation, just there. I easily found my way to drugs. Those years I just wanted to be alone too. And I wouldn’t want anyone else to be addicted either. You’re really intelligent and deserving of love and a sense of family.
    I’ve forged family from strangers and learned how to connect with people. I had a hard time with this for years and could never trust a person who was genuinely being nice to me. There’s hope and it’s hard but I hope you find a way.

  • @KayciazWorld
    @KayciazWorld Рік тому +23

    This entire interview was so heartbreaking but the end really brought tears to my eyes. The deep breath he took before saying family, signals how much strength it took for him to say it. He deserved love and never got it from his parents. It's such a shame when parents mistreat their own kids, it's horrible. I pray God breaks those chains and surrounds him with love. I pray he heals and understands he is loved and this world needs him✝️🙏❤️

    • @DavidRodriguez-gl5pn
      @DavidRodriguez-gl5pn Рік тому +1

      I thought the same thing. I took a deep breath with him, because I could tell he reached within himself to find that answer. Love. I pray God gives him that love as well

    • @unknown-sx8sn
      @unknown-sx8sn Рік тому +2

      I thought it was too theatrical and possibly staged in order to gather sympathy votes🥺

    • @KayciazWorld
      @KayciazWorld Рік тому +1

      ​​@@unknown-sx8sn Aw you had a thought, good for you❤️

  • @rebeccao9073
    @rebeccao9073 Рік тому +5

    This one was so crazy to watch. It kind of hits hard that ending up in this state can happen to anyone. Man he’s SO intelligent, dresses well etc. i hope he can get help he deserves so much better than his current state.

  • @ThatsMrsApriltou
    @ThatsMrsApriltou Рік тому +16

    I love him already. I tend to fall in love with those who I feel just need to be loved. I can tell he needs to be loved but also understood. It takes time and dedication to really understand some people and accept that their addicts. You can’t love the addiction out of them but like he said he just needs something to care about. That pure love could just give him something to care about enough to want to live.

    • @tomlib6794
      @tomlib6794 Рік тому

      Do you want his phone number, I know him

  • @natashaeldridge6276
    @natashaeldridge6276 Рік тому +7

    I am so heartbroken by his story and his demeanor. I just see him as a little child needing love and light in his life. I hope he can somehow find something to steer him on a path towards a happier, healthier future.

  • @dubaiedge
    @dubaiedge Рік тому +3

    Anthony, you have your entire life ahead of you. Everyone is commenting you can get a good life. If you can get to Iowa City, there's a place there called Shelter House where you can stay, eat, & be treated for drugs. Seriously check it out. They'll also set you up in your own place after. There you'll have your books, & can work whatever job for money, like you said. I bet you meet people who will be really good to you. Try it. Right now you have nothing to lose by trying something different in a different state. Best of luck, & keep up updated.

  • @marniets
    @marniets Рік тому +7

    Anthony, Your story touched me so deeply, and I thank you for sharing it with us. I wish you all the love and happiness imaginable in life.

  • @joyadams507
    @joyadams507 Рік тому +5

    So heartbreaking 💔 so extremely articulate, smart , but so vulnerable…all he ever wanted was affirmation from his family

  • @sS-kb2kt
    @sS-kb2kt Рік тому +2

    Anthony- I cried for you and prayed for, and will continue praying for you to find the love and healing you need. You're so intelligent, and introspective, and kind, with a pure heart. I hope that you realize how very much the world needs you. You were placed in this world for a purpose, and although you've lost the way, you haven't lost your value. I hope you realize you are incredibly unique and you are needed in this world. Embrace the light within yourself, you are very intelligent and capable of overcoming this, you just have to realize that you deserve so much. You have a lot of love for those around you, but you haven't received that love back in the way you needed it. Take all of that love and give it back to yourself. Start loving yourself dear brother. I have never been touched by a stranger the way you have touched me. I pray that you find your happiness, I hope you find the liberation you need from the chains keeping you tied to a life you don't deserve. You are loved.

  • @marcosluna7792
    @marcosluna7792 Рік тому +5

    Man, this interview was tough. I wish Anthony the best, he seems like a good guy - blessings from VA!

  • @avantgardenovelist
    @avantgardenovelist Рік тому +8

    Anthony: just own the four-walls-and- good-books lifestyle you've chosen without letting its rarity in today's society discourage you. Own your hermit lifestyle, read your books, write your books, play your music, and let the expectations and judgments of others dissipate like the morning dew. Books are worth quitting drugs for.

  • @Chenovski00
    @Chenovski00 Рік тому +6

    As a sober heroin addict, i truly hope he finds that purpose and that passion in life. I remember having the same thought processes him. First step is to remove the parasite. After that, your vision in life becomes more clear. I am managing a business now, I am engaged, and I love life every single day. I also know how easily that can all be taken away if that parasite is re-introduced into my life. Drugs are a deceiving and manipulating beast. I hope you find peace and excitement in normalcy.

  • @ohsilveronewithattitude6819
    @ohsilveronewithattitude6819 Рік тому +2

    Anthony you sound so in touch with what is going on around you and I am listening to this for the second time. I see a good portion of you in my 23 year old grandson. While I am sad for your situation I am so grateful for you sharing this incredible journey that few can understand. I sincerely hope that you can find a resolution to allow you to live a life that would give you peace with yourself. You sound so intelligent and precise in your speaking that I believe others around you could learn a great deal from you.

  • @eezbreezy1
    @eezbreezy1 Рік тому +1

    one of my fav interviews in a while, thank you to both. already dying for a follow up. a heartbreakingly beautiful soul. i hope he can find a friend in you, mark. ❤

  • @bridgett-mr3gn
    @bridgett-mr3gn Рік тому +7

    I have a feeling he is going to do great things. He’s clearly very intelligent, but still needs to learn that he’s worthy of living a healthy and happy life. The way he tells his story is so captivating.

  • @ariannamartina4078
    @ariannamartina4078 Рік тому +4

    he is so wonderfully spoken and intensely genuine. just like anyone, there is hope for him - i only wish that one day he realizes it

  • @evaevaevaevaevaeva
    @evaevaevaevaevaeva Рік тому +1

    Sending you lots of love from this little corner of the internet, Anthony. Your authenticity shines through. I really hope things get better for you 💗💗💗

  • @pecfree
    @pecfree Рік тому +3

    This guy could be an actor. He's got the voice and the looks of. Baddy

  • @catherinecalvert1739
    @catherinecalvert1739 Рік тому +3

    Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty Anthony. I am a heroin addict as well. I have struggled with my heroin addiction for 18 years. I am just over 80 days clean now. I know you say you don’t want to get clean but I heard different. I think that you’re story is going to be different than you think. I think one day you will wake up and realize you want to get clean. I have faith in you. 🙏💖

  • @CourtneyinSF
    @CourtneyinSF Рік тому +3

    Thoughtful, intelligent, self-aware, and well spoken. My heart goes out to Anthony, I hope he finds the desire to change his situation. He is like the main character of a Dostoevsky novel. I hope that he comes back to talk to us again.

  • @jcs3330
    @jcs3330 Рік тому +2

    Your films are just so powerful and absorbing from a viewers perspective. I believe that when there is any 'sad emotional display' from your subjects, this is there moment of 'truth' speaking from behind the exterior that they project and their true feeling that moment inside. So hopefully there is, if only small a chance for all of them to rediscover themselves and their loved ones they left behind.

  • @mrsjulieb7011
    @mrsjulieb7011 Рік тому +2

    That huge sigh at the end when asked about lessons learned was truly heartbreaking.

  • @ismalino1
    @ismalino1 Рік тому +3

    Intelligent and handsome, almost surreal and still extremely authentic. Wow this was an incredible interview to watch ....

  • @couchprincess698
    @couchprincess698 Рік тому +5

    I think I hope he can get back to his music and stability. I really think a year of treatment, talk therapy and a plan he can do it. He’s just so sweet. Breaks my heart.

  • @anneheuveline
    @anneheuveline Рік тому +2

    i would thank anthony for being so real
    i'm so moved by this meeting and his level of consciousness about life
    and thank you mark for your work, it accompanies me for months and makes me growing up
    love

  • @forbiddencue1101
    @forbiddencue1101 Рік тому +21

    I've never wanted to hug someone so bad in my life. God pull this guy through. Far better worth than most I've witnessed. Sending 🩶 🇺🇸

    • @bloomerdavid
      @bloomerdavid Рік тому +2

      He doesn’t want a hug from you.

    • @ryanistooconceited
      @ryanistooconceited Рік тому

      ​@@bloomerdavid I know, right? These people want drugs or money, occasionally sex.

    • @bloomerdavid
      @bloomerdavid Рік тому +1

      How do you base someone’s worth? Appearance?

    • @mahalalettvin7675
      @mahalalettvin7675 Рік тому +2

      My God what a horrendous thing to say. You get to decide who's worthy and who isn't? Worthy of life? Sobriety? Housing? Love? So you then think so highly of yourself that his worth has now earned him a hug from you? Seriously? When asked about his worst fear his answer was unwanted attention. Then you make this comment. Gross.

    • @bloomerdavid
      @bloomerdavid Рік тому +1

      @@mahalalettvin7675 several people have said this, along with wanting to be his best friend. The last thing a fentanyl addict needs is a new sober best friend.

  • @madameshannons
    @madameshannons Рік тому +3

    He sounds so tired. Hope he finds peace.

  • @substanceo9335
    @substanceo9335 Рік тому +3

    Very well spoken and intelligent. Anthony, you need to write a book or a memoir as you observe the world around you. You are extremely articulate. You deserve so much better

  • @davemieze9021
    @davemieze9021 Рік тому +2

    This is the most important channel on UA-cam. A true showcase of the human condition. Great work as always Mark

  • @GripsCardMarket
    @GripsCardMarket Рік тому +10

    Anthony, you shouldn't waste your gifts and cast yourself into this oblivion that ends up leaving you dead. Your grandmother you speak of so lovingly, I know this is not what she wants you to relinquish yourself to after her passing. There is always something to live for. Put your gifts to use and help some others in this world that weren't so fortunate to have the gifts that you do. Make your grandmother proud man. I don't know you and I hate seeing you like this. I wish you the best, friend.

  • @user-eu4qh1rw3b
    @user-eu4qh1rw3b Рік тому +8

    I think you'll find this book very useful. Complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving. Your upbringing, opinions, feelings towards others, and so much else mirror mine. Learning about CPTSD, if you haven't already, could provide some insight and understanding into how you tick. You can order it online and probably in most shops. It's considered the bible of CPTSD. I wish you well.

    • @MsAdventure531
      @MsAdventure531 Рік тому

      Thank you

    • @Xyz46786
      @Xyz46786 Рік тому

      Thank you just purchased it myself

    • @ddz1375
      @ddz1375 Рік тому

      Thanks. Gonna look the book up I could use some help with cptsd

  • @sosa2tymes
    @sosa2tymes Рік тому +2

    I was glued since it started !
    I hope this gentleman finds his way ! It’s never to late to be great ! 💙🙏🏽 god bless him

  • @maryrizzo4076
    @maryrizzo4076 Рік тому +2

    Betrayal from your family is one of the hardest soul crushing experiences. Before you can leave you sustain close to two decades of daily abuse that you try to neutralize in your your head and heart. By then,, you’re infected with that behavior and you continue to do it to yourself by no fault of your own. Cleaning that up is really an endeavor that requires a warrior spirit. Bless this young man. I think he can do it. I wish you peace my dear.

  • @prettyfeet22
    @prettyfeet22 Рік тому +4

    You are so accomplished and intelligent. When you are ready to get off drugs you will be able to help many people.

  • @johncena04101
    @johncena04101 Рік тому +4

    Wow he made that greed comparison amazingly 👏

  • @joannemates6367
    @joannemates6367 Рік тому +1

    Oh Man!! Watching him made me cry. I feel his pain. I hope he finds the strength to turn his life around, get off drugs and find his will to live. He’s a gorgeous, intelligent, articulate man. He has so much to offer the world. I wish him nothing but love, healing and peace. Cheers, from Country Victoria. Australia 🇦🇺 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

  • @stephanierichard67
    @stephanierichard67 Рік тому +4

    What a moving encounter.
    Thank you Mark Laita.
    I hope he’ll find peace. He doesn’t deserve to die in the street.
    May he realize that he is worthy of love and that anything is possible.
    Anthony, I wish you the best
    X

  • @minimalglitch6675
    @minimalglitch6675 Рік тому +3

    What an incredibly eloquent and intelligent being. Hope he gets assistance like many so on here. Peace from someone in the shit themselves rn.

  • @derekjohnson77
    @derekjohnson77 Рік тому +5

    I don't know if reliability would be an issue or not, but this guy (with a co-host) could be an excellent podcast host. Extremely intelligent. Heartbreaking situation. Very self-aware.