How Does Trauma Alter Your Identity? - Dr Paul Conti
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- Опубліковано 6 лют 2025
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Chris and Dr. Paul Conti discuss the impacts trauma has on your life. What does Dr. Paul Conti wish more people knew about trauma? What is the function of trauma according to Dr. Paul Conti? How do you best deal with trauma according to Dr. Paul Conti?
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Chris: "So, trauma is more insidious, more frequent, and more persistent than people think.. Paul: "And changeable.." CHANGEABLE is the message of hope here..
I have struggled with self-esteem issues my whole life, this resonated with me. My memories really only begin at 12 years old, prior to that I had a verbally abusive babysitter, whose own children physically and sexually abused me. As a result I have CPTSD and something not recognized by DSM yet called Maldaptive Daydreaming Disorder. Every single day is a struggle to control my brain, and therefore control my life. The only thing stopping me from being some crazy homeless guy mumbling to himself on the street is money and I have loved ones who care about me. Grateful for that, but life can be so difficult. Trauma made everyday life so much more difficult than it had to be, and I developed a drug issue for a while as a result. Thanks for posting this clip, CW.
I hear you .
My mother was bombed in Portsmouth, England and my father escaped from Poland with his brother with trauma along the way. I was 2 when I thought my father killed my mother. He was violent, my mother divorced when I was 3 never saw him again she left for America when I was 4 and I went to boarding school. Thus my beginning of trauma after trauma. Each trauma built on the last. At age 18 I married in a dream state of fantasy. About 20 with my life falling apart and I wanted to die, but I had a baby girl and I could not do it. I found a preacher of all things that set me on a path of a long time of unraveling my past with an amazing therapist. I am such a believer in good therapy. Now at 71, although I am not famous, rich or brilliant. I finally feel peace and I do not hurt myself or others. BTW it took several years of therapy and painful memories and also reframing my early decisions.
At 2? I don't think I can even remember anything from that age
I have memories from age 2.. it’s possible for sure. 😊
I also was wondering about multiple traumatic events. They have been waves like the ocean.
I’ve done counseling and support groups and joined ministries.
Faith has helped me from being a tragic mess. Learning what grace really means was a healing to my soul . It just took along time to really learn and accept that I was worthy of it. That shame runs deep and is a process to let go of.
Learning to protect my children from going through similar trauma (as much as possible), with my family .
I discovered the same trauma had occurred with all the girls in my family and some of the boys .
I knew as an adult what my mom could have done to protect me ,so i was able to keep my kids from joining the painful dark family history.
That has made it all worth it.
Personal experience is a great tool for knowing better and teaching wisdom to help others.
I don’t know why I wrote this, 😊 have a great day…
Im from Germany and I remember back in May 2023, I was sitting in Santiago de Chile Airport with my gf waiting for a flight. I was listening to Chris Podcast literally for hours and whenever I feel bad or losing direction in life, I remind myself just to get back to this brilliant content in Order to improve myself. There are so many podcasts, so many content creators but Chris for me is the outstanding one. He is providing so much value for me, for us and that for free. Wish all of you a good 2024!
So freaking stoked you got him for the show Chris!! Keeping some semblance of my life private, I had ptsd at age 7 from childhood trauma. It went untreated until I sought clinical help in my early 20's after my life fell apart. In total the journey took ~15yrs to understand what happened to me and another 10 to develop self love and forgiveness. This man is an excellent guest for anyone struggling to understand their experience or the experience of others and the road through trauma.
How about a quicker clearing?
Shame and guilt doesn't compute with my traumas, but certainly fear does. Fear rules everything.
There are social and environmental factors affecting those who are traumatized, including blaming the victim. It can be as 'benign' as asking them if they could have done something to prevent it. Or, the complete lack of validation or assistance from bystanders. Or, the lack of punitive consequences for perpetrators. Or, suffering an undiagnosed TBI from an assault or accident. All of which affects sense of self, safety, trust, reality. Natural-disaster traumas seem easier for others to grasp.
It seems that many psychologists just make you talk about the trauma, after the trauma, and sometimes about what before the rauma led to to it, while they should also help you recollect who you were before the trauma and independantly of it to really recover ! Fortunately I partly did that alone for myself, but I really wish I was encouraged to do so more fully . This message seems really very important, thank you !
There’s something really interesting to what he’s saying here, and it got me thinking about how trauma, even if not directly experienced by an individual can be impressed upon someone if they belong to a group or possess similar characteristics to someone else who has been victimized. Let me explain what I mean. 911 shook our entire country, and while many of us were not in New York on that day, we felt the trauma as a nation, and many of us were afraid to go on airplanes for fear that we might become the next victims. In that example, trauma seems to have been disseminated through the identity group and embraced at an individual level.
People think of PTSD as something that happens to someone who has been in an explosion, or has been shot or stabbed, or something like that. PTSD happens whenever someone feels like their life is threatened, which can happen if your parents are threatening give you up for adoption, or if your boss is trying to sabotage your career on a daily basis because they hate you. PTSD can happen suddenly, or it can build up. It's a different kind of PTSD, but we don't take it seriously.
I'd rather not explain the standard of care and how we're in a mental health epidemic right now, but it doesn't look like we're going to take it seriously in the near future. That's why we see people turning to pseudo-medical systems like online therapy and the use of substances.
I just saw a OB pull my son (stillborn) from my wife. We decided to try again. Faith > Fear
Maybe that was God's way of telling you that Anti-natalism is the only moral path. To bring a child into this fallen world without it's consent is morally repugnant.
@@TheShiversMusic actually God gave us evidence that I am strong and He is good no matter what. And all of you ancestors up until this point fought for your chance, brother. You don't have to have children, but I encourage you to make the most of it.
@@rumblerightdad I see, but that still doesn't solve the problem of bringing a child into this world without it's consent (which is akin to rape), where it will definitely be harmed and suffer immensely. This doesn't have to be an Anti-Christian view, the Gnostics believed this as did The Shakers.
Modern Wisdom… I hope you try to connect with and interview Irene Lyon… She has an incredible ability to explain nervous system and what “trauma” actually is… including developmental trauma…
Wow, I can't decide if I feel seen or called out by this. Looking forward to the full episode
This all sociaty is one great trauma.
I could not even think about the trauma until I was in my late twenties. I never felt shame.
I had intrinsic social fear. Not sure if this was because of a specific event. More likely many smaller experiences.
I was traumatized at the age of 11 and I repressed it until I was 17 because my life changed and with it came some realizations and my trauma hit me like a ton of bricks
Strong message man. I needed this.
Ok. Here is how subconscious trauma works.
Routines are developed that run 24/7 (read - it is the software of our brains.
When a pattern is matched (oncoming traffic for example) then the emotion is triggered and that will cause the response the subconscious creates to “protect” us. Flight/fight/flop/fawn This could be manifested as anxiety/depression/addiction/procrastination etc.
They key to a higher level of functionality is the clear the trauma (emotional response- trauma is not what happened to you but how you feel about what happened to you).
Clearing the trauma now relieves the sufferer from the response. You still have the memory but no emotional response to it.
Is Paul Conti related to Jordan Peterson? They look so much like each other, they must be brothers.
love dr paul conti. absolute brilliant guy!
This is excellent
Amazing how small traumas can have such large effects. And you don't even have to have very many to jack you right up.
Thought it was spoof on Jordan Peterson seeing the thumbnail 🤭
Just listening made feel a bit nervous. Does he have a book or something about the topic?
The research on the lifelong effects caused by neonatal circumcision are astounding. Millions of American men are scarred for life. No pun intended.
Yes I’ve read about that ! Theres a theory about circumcision linked to serial killers. Their first experience being mutilated, then passed back to mom so they associate women with the pain they received.
@@ariannagonzalez2618 that seems like a far out speculation about serial killers due to the sheer numbers. like they clearly have other things going on on top of this.
@@DaveE99 you can find the study if you sift through the web. It’s long, but fascinating!
Are we altered permanently
Chris is such a drug pusher, Teasing that he got Dr. Conti with a clip. Well done dude, looking forward to the full talk
I have struggled with massively inflated self esteem all my life, pull yourselves together and try your best to pull yourselves up to my level 👍
Dr. Gabor Mate calls these practices to keep yourself safe, 'stupid friends' that continue to compel behaviour long after the threat has passed.
I was in about 15 fights as a teenager and have been mugged 5 times as an adult, including once with a handgun, and can recall everything that led up to each incident. But I don't dwell on this stuff and have never taken a self-defense class or became a gun owner. I think that there are people like me out there who aren't bothered by this stuff. But the video made mention of "shame" and it made me realize that people who are paranoid about personal safety likely experience a deep shame from having gotten mugged or baited into a fight. I don't feel that at all.
Most persons have never been in a fist fight , much less been mugged. You've been in 15 or more fights and been mugged 5 times. Have you ever considered the common denominator? It could shed some light on why you feel nothing about these events.
Sometimes it's about; what happens to us. More importantly though it's; How we react to what happens to us.
I was a small kid and not a good athlete, but I didn't let anyone mess with me. I don't think that many people know what it's like to walk into a high school at age 13 with 1,400 boys and be about the fifth smallest human being, including the handful of female staff.
@@marraharris6080
@@samroche5140, I think you've missed the point, Sam. No one happens to be in harm's way that often w/o putting themselves in harm's way. Perhaps there is no feeling of being traumatized because he has been the traumatizer.
@@marraharris6080 You don't know this person's circumstances. They're most likely have lived in a terrible part of town. I never really lived in a high crime area but I've been mugged (attempted) once. And I've been in a dozen fist fights. Why so many? Because back then I was the only foreign kid in an all white area.
You don't know someone's circumstances.
He looks like Jordan Peterson !!!
When I seen him on Lex I kept thinking he looked like someone Ethan Hawke would play in a movie
So much trauma is pre verbal. In the crib. Neglected by 'mothers' who prefer their wine and idiot career.
I thought he had no arms lol
when you order jordan peterson from wish
😂😅🤣
I thought he didn't have arms at the beginning of the video
This guy kinda looks like a mix of Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro
Thinking the exact same thing. Peterson definitely 🤣
But sounds a lot better than either
Sorry - I got so distracted how much he looks like Jordan Peterson!
I’m guessing we were not talking about a car crash
But what about the people who were genuinely at fault for the thing that happened that brought about shame and subsequent altering of the way they view themselves?
You’re going to have to let the old version of yourself die (ego death), gain some separation from identifying as that version of you, forgive that version of you, feel real compassion, and move forward 🙏🏼
Jesus Christ can guide the way
Sounds accurate to me...@@mkayokay3192
Jordan Peterson we’ve got at home:
Looks like Old Man Ben Shapiro
More millennial whining. If we're all traumatised then we're all the same. Stop whining and get on with it.
The attitude behind your comment is... a trauma response 🤗 you're more correct than you know!
And then I do the “5 why’s” exercise trying to get to the core of moving on, and somehow I’ve seen people with this thinking not connect that the purpose of moving on is to feel connected, and eventually through that reproduce etc.
That's what some cops used to say to women who had just been raped.