@@s.k.k696 Don't say that! With a solid nutrition plan and rigorous exercise routine, you sure can whip yourself into a fit and sexy body so that you can die tragically young in a freak accident :)
Ehh Id rather die full instead of empty. In the last moments of my fit no junk life my thoughts wont be " at least i look good" It will be " i was lucky enough to have delicious food why didnt i enjoy it😭." Also...im harder to kidnap. 😁
@@iliadnetfear2586 everyone knows that modern birth is part of decadent liberal LGBT propaganda. Back in the days of Jesus people were born completely covered up, in pink dress or blue trousers in accordance to the length of their peepee, just like how it was written in the divine Jehovah's plan.
@Gagan Singh of course, being cucked by Jehovah is such an honor... I wish my wife to suddenly become pregnant and tell me that the God did it, not my promiscuous neighbor!
Not only did they keep straight faces doing this but that actress actually produced tears and cried in her acting, all while saying these jokes. Onion actors and actresses have the best talent. I sware to god. Also, I feel like without all the specific details and mentions of "how sexy they were," this is what every story of a firefighter/police officer dying is like because they're usually very attractive in real news stories I notice.
@TheWidowsPeak Uh...actually people press F5 all the time to get rid of the ad since when you refresh you usually can watch it without the ad. It's just that a lot of people think it's some magic trick, when it's just refreshing the page.
Tracy's facial expressions are sooo convincing! There are times when I have doubts about what they're reporting but one look at her aghast expression and I'm totally convinced without even hearing the story.
Holy shit this girl they are interviewing was my lab partner in 10th grade bio. I just thought "she looks a lot like this girl I knew back in high school." turns out she is.
"Was he in full uniform, or did he just have his pants on with his suspenders stretched across his pecks?" "Uh- no... He was um, he was in his full uniform. He ev-" "That's too bad."
I feel bad for laughing at this. We did have a fireman die around here a few years ago. The last firemen I met were middle aged guys with sour expressions on their faces. They did put the fire out though.
"Your husband was incredibly sexy"
"Yes, he was, thank you"
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
laughed my ass off on that one.
Same
me too do you realize that that’s a 9 year old comment 🤯
@@knee_grow2202 thats so crazy
Best part
@@knee_grow2202 11 now
“I don’t think I’ve ever met a firefighter more hunkalicious.”
Made the skit for me, oh god.
"No he died in full uniform."
"That's a shame."
Why do I hear school uniform instead
“That’s too bad”
@@jaykenarn6223 i thought i was the only one XD
@@Thesmus glad im not the only one
You really paraphrased both of those quotes. Couldn’t have just went back and watched it again?
It’s always the hunkalicious that die so young
Guess...i have a long life ahead of me
@@s.k.k696 Don't say that! With a solid nutrition plan and rigorous exercise routine, you sure can whip yourself into a fit and sexy body so that you can die tragically young in a freak accident :)
Ehh Id rather die full instead of empty.
In the last moments of my fit no junk life my thoughts wont be " at least i look good"
It will be " i was lucky enough to have delicious food why didnt i enjoy it😭."
Also...im harder to kidnap. 😁
@@s.k.k696 That is a positive way to look at it.
Child molesters don't want the round kids.
@@iliadnetfear2586
Too hard to carry them into their vans.
"I wish there was someone there to see him like that..."
Same, Elizabeth, same.
but all those stupid fucking survivors got out...
that is amazing, hearing an older man saying the word "hunkalicious" without cracking up
I just saw the comment and didn't hear it but still laughed.
"I don't think I've EVER met a fire fighter more hunkalicious..." The delivery of that stands right alongside any Leslie Nielson film.
woah this comment is old
A who???
@@maazkalim a someone who's a father of dry comedy
@@maazkalim Known most for Airplane. Made surrealist comedy played-straight popular.
“dry comedy” from where, "@@teacherfromthejungles6671"???
One of my all time faves...The gay Shakespeare comment at the end tops it off perfectly....
Well im ganna top you if you know what I mean.
Honestly I would've loved to see the 7th grader explain why shakespeare is gay
My God the way he says "definitely" is so perfect.
@@AnishChari Yes!!!
Trance - 009 Sound System Dreamscape There’s evidence that supports him being gay lol. He wrote love letters to his “friend”
"flexing for the angels" - lol
That part got me
And just a hint of... LUST!
So Shrek-ish about my comment
Shakespeare would have found him hunkalicious
I’m surprised nobody is talking about how his wife mentioned him posing semi-nude as a child
@@NJ-wb1cz I did that and even got an ass slap.
Problem was it was from a dude.
First few seconds in the world and my first experience was super gay.
@@iliadnetfear2586 everyone knows that modern birth is part of decadent liberal LGBT propaganda.
Back in the days of Jesus people were born completely covered up, in pink dress or blue trousers in accordance to the length of their peepee, just like how it was written in the divine Jehovah's plan.
@Gagan Singh of course, being cucked by Jehovah is such an honor...
I wish my wife to suddenly become pregnant and tell me that the God did it, not my promiscuous neighbor!
@Marcus Gorinski it's a joke. Lighten up simp
Now I know what happened to the Onion. The writers got jobs at CNN
".....we're gonna talk to a seventh grader who says he DEFINITELY was." HAHAHHAHH
😂
"I'm sorry for your loss. You're husband was incredibly sexy."
lmao. love the onion!
@azpeev i guess i do!!!! thank you for showing me the error of my ways. maybe one day i will be humble and pious like you.
thank you again.
I hate to be that guy but is it possible that his sheer hotness possibly made that blaze worse than it already was?
Definitely
@musicisforeverlove oh, good to know!
"He was in full uniform..."
"That's too bad."
HA!!!
"I'm sorry for your loss, your husband was incredibly sexy" lmao
the ending was great
Not only did they keep straight faces doing this but that actress actually produced tears and cried in her acting, all while saying these jokes. Onion actors and actresses have the best talent. I sware to god.
Also, I feel like without all the specific details and mentions of "how sexy they were," this is what every story of a firefighter/police officer dying is like because they're usually very attractive in real news stories I notice.
Better not sware!
@TheWidowsPeak Uh...actually people press F5 all the time to get rid of the ad since when you refresh you usually can watch it without the ad. It's just that a lot of people think it's some magic trick, when it's just refreshing the page.
Tracy's facial expressions are sooo convincing! There are times when I have doubts about what they're reporting but one look at her aghast expression and I'm totally convinced without even hearing the story.
Oh gosh, this is great.
Holy shit this girl they are interviewing was my lab partner in 10th grade bio. I just thought "she looks a lot like this girl I knew back in high school." turns out she is.
FickJaIchLiebeKiffen dude same
dude same
Bro no way me too...
🤣😆😂
What is her name?
i love the red stripe light ads!
"His shirtless ghost will always be by my side." LMFAO
@Nysyarc me too, best part.
"No, he was in full uniform."
"That's too bad"
LOOL
@davelantor Genius.
The actors must go through tons and tons of takes before they are able to get one with straight faces. Pure Skill!
If its done in first try then its pure skill.
"i just wish that there was someone to have seen him like that but all the survivors had gotten out" *cries*
Props to Rob Mengual for keeping it real and honest. That's a man confident in who he is and who treats his hunkalicious colleague with some respect.
greatest statue ever.
It’s been a decade, but the pain is still here from this tragic loss
To this day I couldn't bring myself to replace his page of the fire fighter calender of 2003.
@CSM60: I got chills at that. RIP big boy.
"Was he in full uniform, or did he just have his pants on with his suspenders stretched across his pecks?"
"Uh- no... He was um, he was in his full uniform. He ev-"
"That's too bad."
@JeansTake I looked threw the comments and knew some else caught that.
I subbed your channel.
The writing for The Onion is really on point, but it's really the acting that sells shit like this.
well played TheOnion, well played
'your husband's spirit is up there in heaven rubbing oil on his smooth chest and flexing for the Angels' holy shit that's an amazing line
this is priceless
He died as he lived...smoking hot
@ShowPlaces oh man you are on to them :o
"He even had the side six-pack going" hahah! ONN is beast.
he is the ryan renolds of firefighting
"Um, no, he was in his full uniform"
"That's too bad"
LMFAOOOO
@WingedSoulies
Also they are talking about the national variant.
The reason Shakespeare turned gay because he met this firefighter in heaven.
@jazzwanraise
Yes, of course!
"he had his full unform on" "aw that's a shame" lol
i wanna see that Shakespeare one
"Was he in full uniform?"
"Yes"
"That's too bad"
hahahaha
cool transcript system for this video, i've never seen that before
Very traggic story.
10 years old? Wow
@@seriouspain4136 8 months old? Wow
Aww the doomer wojak is affected by the hunkalicious firefighter's death. Probably how his descent into depression started
ok checkmark
@JamesonBondy ohhhh now i get it
"You know he's up there in heaven, rubbing oil on his smooth chest and flexing for the angels"
@YINGYANGXRAAWR ofcourse
"Logan's funeral attended by thousands of lonely women in nightgowns."
the Shakespeare thing is genius.
He was the hottest in the final moments of his life.
Underrated comment
either in Kelvin or Fahrenheit.
Damn
@cembry90 hehe that is also my fav section
i m in awe by the genius of those comedy writers... we don’t have anything close to this level in france... insane
So sad they're not making these kinds of videos anymore
roflmaooooooooooooo @ the sidebar at the end!!! OMG!! Classic... it's so fucking subtle!
I need one hour of this every day of my life.
You guys killed my stoke. RIP.
"He was 35 years old with 4% bodyfat and a 42 inch chest." Love the serious and solemn tone in which he says that.
*"He was in his full uniform."*
*"He even had his helmet on his head instead of coyly covering his private parts."*
I suddenly need to plan out my year
Ive nevr met a firefightr more hunkalishis
Tracy was really getting wet over this one, but she carried on like a trooper. What a professional!
She could've helped put out the fire, if only she came on time. :(
Tasteless comment.
@@Celisar1 ok
@@Celisar1actually very tasty
@@Celisar1I liked both your comment and the tasteless one.
...flexing with the angels.
Eyewitnesses confirm it was his presence that made the blaze so steamy.
RIP
I will never understand how everyone in these sketches dosent die laughing every few seconds
@overOOview took the words right out of my mouth LOL
..He was 35 years old, with 4% body fat, and a 42 inch ches...hahaha
is this real
Why must the sexy die young...? (Tears)
Rose Masen because the old aren’t sexy
A wise man once said that you either die sexy or see yourself becoming not that sexy.
@@MrJackhammer51 for anyone wondering: that wise man was Sun Tzu in his The Art of War.
"he was in his full uniform"
"that's too bad.."
lmao
Isn't that the fire station in Fresh Meadows? For all you NYCers out there.
We didn't deserve a hero who was both that brave and that undeniably sexy
It seems to me like they focus more on his physical attributes than his actual life.
As a gay man, I can confirm - he is really hunkalicious
@BlackZero98 Very valid point funny is subjective.
"That's too bad.."
Wowwww.....
The actress playing his girlfriend did a great job. Not easy to make yourself cry whilst saying such ridiculously silly lines lol.
i loled
No handsome and hot guy deserves this tragedy
I would like to hear a Jimmy Stewart impersonate explain the financial crisis.
Anyway that fire wasn't hotter than he is
"hunkalicious!" LMAO
@94ayd Totally is.
I feel bad for laughing at this. We did have a fireman die around here a few years ago. The last firemen I met were middle aged guys with sour expressions on their faces. They did put the fire out though.
Your jurisdiction must be very un-American, then.
To grant them enough of funding for not having to publish those calendars.
biceps and quads firm enough to crack walnuts on them!
I love reading the comments on Onion videos :-D
Says a lot about youtube :-D
("I never knew a fire fighter so hunkalicious" :-D )
I love the people that thing that the onion is real..
Simultaneously sad and sexy -- not an easy combination to achieve.
LOL "And you know right now, your husband's spirit is up there in heaven rubbing oil on his smooth chest & flexing for the angels."