HOW MUCH DID I PAY FOR MY WIFE? - LOBOLA STORY - African tradition - Lempies
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- Опубліковано 21 кві 2020
- Ciao Guys,
We hope you are all happy and safe at home, today in our couple talk we discuss one of the most famous African tradition. Lobola! how much did I pay for my wife?
we hope you will enjoy this video..
Ciao Ciao Ciao
👏👏👏👏👏
ANEW WEEK, A NEW VIDEO.....
VILLAGE LIFE IN NAMIBIA VLOG! h • VILLAGE LIFE IN AFRICA...
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I am from Botswana. Paying lobola as a practise is carried out here. Our family decided to not charge this so my sisters were married without it being asked. But of course, the husbands were surprised and paid what they wanted.
In my opinion another reason it's done is to solidify the relstionship between the two families...my hubby who's German was happy to do so...also the cherry on top is he is highly respected in my family. 🇸🇿🇩🇪
My husband who is Irish never paid for me. He owes me big time. I'm so fascinated with various African culture as it is part of my own heritage. I'm mixed with every race. I'm hooked on these videos with interracial couples. Fantastic!
Happy you enjoyed our content like we have mentioned a monetary payment is not necessary but i think it is a nice gesture to give a thanks present to your parents inlaw 🙌🏿🥰
Happy you enjoyed our content like we have mentioned a monetary payment is not necessary but i think it is a nice gesture to give a thanks present to your parents inlaw 🙌🏿🥰
Now you are misunderstanding and misusing the culture. The lobola is not paid to you, and you would never be even in the room where it was being negotiated. He owes them nothing since Lobola is not their culture
probz to your husband. It such an outdated culture. also most of the women want to live in the west and europe and have nothing to do with their culture. but here when it comes to money you have to pay.
top regrett of dying people: "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
I must say i am really loving this quarantine content...keep it up guys ❤👍
Yes, intelligent and humorous content is Lempies' trademark!
Love your hair Lempies. Thanks so much for this. I think it’s a respectful and fair tradition. Even in marriages that are not necessarily cross cultural there are comments of marrying up or marrying down. Ciao ciao. 🇬🇧
Lovely outfits💞💞💞I always love your topics I enjoyed this being African as well...❤
You are always fun to watch. I learned a lot about your culture from watching your videos. BTW You rock the matching outfit.
Alex have a wonderful worldview and is a very wise guy. Very understanding
Here’s a thought that comes to mind about paying for one’s wife. It might help show the family that this person is serious about our daughter. Having to pay lobola might be enough to scare the wrong person away. Also - Parents really want to know that their daughter is marrying the right person. The fee might help reassure them.
Facts facts
I found this video very enlightening and interesting. The subject matter really generated interesting conversation in the comments section! If nothing else it showed the diversity of marital arrangements and how those arrangements are viewed across the continent!
According to my understanding in Zulu culture it is a very important process to unite both families as well to show the parents of a bride that you as a groom will be able to provide for your wife and your children. In Zulu culture 11 cows for a virgin. But nowadays, money is used to replace cows. Also the bride gives some gifts to the family of the groom.
Lol ngisaba noku xelela boyfriend yam ba kuzome ibhatale Andaz zoyqala phi ngiyaz ngizobe ngibuzwa into eznng
11 cows 😲😲? That's a lot
Loving your matching outfits 😍
I see it coming up all the time in channels with UA-camrs from the African countries
This outfit looks great on both on you, luv it. I really don't like this lobola price. Sometimes I think they're asking way too much. I'm from the Caribbean so there is no bride price. I respect the African tradition though, it'sa culture thingand I get that. If there was interest, Ale got the doe to pay the rest of his life (he's Italian). The skin color thing, I'm against that one, it's racist. Black people keeps on discriminating against their own race. Dark skinned women are very beautiful.
Ok. You answered my questions. Now I understand it more. Thanks for the explanation
Hie guys! Nice outfits indeed, you really looking good!
I think we need to learn to respect the cultural significance of what lobola is, it is not a price, but gifting as an appreciation. The other thing is that we have this developed false narrative that african cultural practices are backwards instead of just accepting them as they are, this must stop. Granted there are people that have taken advantage of the lobola practise and pimped their daughters out, but they should not be looked at to the example for the culture.
Pimped? be more respectful
This is the earliest I have been. Uploaded just 10 mins ago!
One thing I know is that ladies without children were also more expensive than those with kids
in Angola 🇦🇴 we call "alambamento" or "pedido" like asking for permition. it is very important, it shows that the man has respect of her culture and her family
No, "you don't want to show appreciation to the parents" the parents expect you "to show appreciation to them"
It is a symbol of respect to the family
Correcto a nice thank you for letting me in your circle. It is a nice a gesture 🙌🏿💯
Their tradition yes a GIFT is necessary. The village depends on every member to keep it flourishing, like we pay Taxes for our society. LOVE costs... like every good or bad thing.. Emotionalism won't milk the goats. Whatever you paid, it wasn't ENOUGH Kind Sir. MONEY CAN'T BUY LOVE OR A HUMAN BEING. Wishing you both a long happy marriage 🇱🇷💖💯
The payment is neither for love nor to buy the person. It is a sign of appreciation 🙌🏾
Yes I'm learning different cultures lempires 🤗 I meant no disrespect for I'm on a learning curve because I enjoy your channel I weighed in because here in America we say The African proverb" it takes a village to raise a child" I just related to the words of course appreciate is showing mutual bonding of Families. I hope I understand
Looking forward to your next vlog 🇺🇸👸🏽👑👐🏻💛
It is not about that. It is about appreciation and respect
@@unyanyembe7844 I'm from an African nation and I understand the initial comment. Monetary value and respect is not in tow.
This was a really good and interesting discussion. In my Somali community we do it the same too.
I did not see any ads this time guys. I will watch again Incase I missed them
You can give as an appreciation but remember you are priceless you are not worthy of the material they ask thou.
You two are tooo cute! ♥️
An Asian couple, that are good friends of mine, explained to me how he (the husband) had to pay his wife’s family some money when they got married. They told me that in their Laos culture, if the woman is a good cook & takes good care of the home, she is worth a lot more. Very interesting topic!
It's a Symbol... She has a PhD.. Priceless 💕💕💕💕
📣❤AMEN
It's not really about that but sometimes families with daughters with higher qualifications tend to up the dowry
Ale, please pay the interest on the 4 degrees. Bring out that Italian dow 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤣🤣🤣. I just love you guys.
Am new here but am loving this couple bcos they r honest. Yeah in Africa paying bride price good . It's show that d bride is properly married.
Yhea, it's about culture
Alle, what you are describing is what is referred to in America as dowry. We still have the idea that the brides family should pay for the wedding.
Have a beautiful day
It's referred to colorism in the U.S.
Please remember that it is not a must in Wambo culture, there are Wambos who do not ask / charge for lobola regardless of your qualities. No culture without change, in some cases now is all about affordability. In some cases they link it to an abuse in marriages etc. Is history.....don't worry you survived it. Your outfits look perfect.... !!!!
In my family as well. Dad in Ndonga and Mom is mbandja and they personally do not accept anything when their daughters are getting married. and when I say anything I mean not even cattle that people often get
« Lobola » sounds like a « dowry » it existed in European cultures (a few centuries ago). So not « exclusively » African... I suspect there is something similar in Asia too.
Im a Mozambican, yes I Know what it is. In Maputo people do that. But I m from Zambézia, almost in the North, in Alto Molócuè. We don't do that.
Lol, funny video. Sounds like the same or similar principles in the Bible..Ale is honorable man, respecting the culture, no problem.
There is a verse in the Bible that says..
They will sell their sons for Harlots and their young women for wine..(Joel 3:3).
Interesting discussion Lempie and Ale. Oilombola (iilombola- Oshindonga) mOshikwanyama is quite different. To this date it generally does not involve money but you offer one ox, an ox in particular. This ox is likely to be slaughtered during the first wedding ceremonial day at the girl’s house, which is usually the biggest day. Even in the case they already have oxen to kill, this cow is not necessarily for parents although it is kept in their kraal. Usually, they would always refer it to “ongobe ya ondwa lyeelyelye”. Theoretically, even if it remains with them, the owner is literally the bride.
Thank you for this informative comment. I learned something new the cow belongs to the Bride and not to the family. I know that in my culture, traditionally it was only cows but time have changed and some people prefer money because they live in the city. Otherwise I think the traditional meaning was really a good gesture 🤗🥰
Times have changed indeed. It really was (in some occasions remains) a lovely gesture. ❤️❤️❤️
What is Lobola? Are you interviewing me? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love you guys as always
By the way, love your outfits...have more cloth from Ghana coming through 🇬🇭🇬🇭🇬🇭
Its not so necessary but the elders demand of it so we follow what our parents say...
It depends on how much u love her and it's a symbol showing that parents of your wife have given you a permission to be with their daughter and it shows that they know u as a hasband of they daughter . After pay u are allowed to be with her but if u don't pay u are not allowed to be with her
Lobola shouldn't be to strange, its essentially a dowry, Lobola now a days is more about the understanding of families coming together. I'm a white S. African, lobola is common but now a days family just wants to know that you're going to look after their girl child. Respect African customary law and the traditions of society
Notification 🔔 gang
You 2 are soooooo cute. Al what ever you paid she is worth it and more.
Rubola, bride price or Dowry whatever you call it, is the gifts can be money or cows a man give to bride parents as an appreciation, so there's no specific amount, you pay as you can according to your wallet. Much love from Rwanda 🇷🇼
Not true where I come from. The families negotiate the amount
Ali you are very understanding and respectful toward Loyola. You lovely husband, and yes I agree what the hell, but that's culture difference.
Somethings about culture can't be changed one has to accept and move on. I also dont take cappuccino in the afternoon anymore since I met Ale 🙉
Funny ending! 😅
Good morning from my country to yours 🤗
She is beautiful...
african culture is so rich
In the olden days my grandmother said what muttered most was
1.good.character
2.hard working
Nowadays Education counts.Some poor families make it like a way of making money. High lobolas can become a hindrance for young men to get married .
There is the similar (if not the same) culture in my place, West and South Sulawesi of Indonesia. That is like appreciation to woman's family and as the sign that the man really ready (mature) to shoulder the family needs. Men are not consider to be ready for marriage when he could not bear the family needs. And, it is can be seen from "labola" men give to their bride.
Oh wow, interesting perspective but great
IM EARLYYYY
She is worth to buy for, you are lucky man to have it.
🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑
Thusbsounds like money can really buy happiness 🤔
In many parts of the world and in many classes, it is still required.
She is beautiful, classy, articulate, and most importantly, she has a doctorate degree, so I know he paid a fortune. Rightfully so he should follow the vfc tradition.
Hi guys!hope you're okay! I guess that is a African tradition and if a non African man want to marry a African woman they will show respect and agree with it ,but me personally i don't agree ....am black Brazilian and we don't have that tradition there ....in a family in Brazil what counts is if the man will treat their daughters right and with love ,respect,if a parent accepts any money 💰 for the daughter that would be really strange and bad ,but is a culture thing ....it is understandable !!!😌 it is a normal thing for a African country ,👍😊
Many African women won't even marry you if you refuse to pay the bride price (lobola). She will be laughed at for being with a 'cheapskate' and her family for 'dashing' away their daughter:) If a woman goes to live with a man without these marriage rites, it is said that she gave herself away 'cheaper than crayfish,' which you can't take from the market without paying. Some modern families, understanding that the couple is just starting out, will reduce the amount of money to a token (a few pounds/dollars). But you also bring gifts (from a provided list). So, you start saving up from the moment you decide that you will get married one day!
As a black Brazilian, you are 80% likely to have come from Southern Africa. You may not follow our customs now, but you would, if you ancestors had not been taken to Brazil. The culture is for Africans. It is not something everyone not involved has to support.
Hi Lempies. Great content👍keep it up. But, in an Aawambo culture in general (despite many clans with their differences) we do not hold lobola negotiations per se. The bride price is set flat across all the 8 aawambo tribes to be equivalent to one (1) cow = 1500NAD as per latest Aawambo traditional law. This one cow is standard price whether the lady is more beautiful, highly educated bra bra or not. Our aawambo culture is also considerate of the circumstances of both the intending bride and the groom. Thus, if the groom cannot afford to gift his bride's family a cow, then a male goat or a sheep would do. This latter decision would then depend on the specific clan to which the bride belongs. Oshiwambo culture bears in mind that a man's contribution to the bride's family is in the long-run until death do you apart. So giving a cow or not before marrying an Omuwambo bride is really not a big deal. Just be good at taking care of your wife and supporting as much as possible both families (yours and that of your wife) and blessings from the elders will pour your way.
@@ndatitangitomasnalukaku8740 You are right. But I being an Omuwambo woman who have respect for our culture and customs I would limit how much info I pour out in public. That said I will answer you in private. What we have shared here is enough for public consumption. I have to protect my culture, despite critics out there.
Good info.
It would have been better if they just focused on the Aawambo culture and discussed the general lobola in other cultures separately because the video was on “how much I paid for lobola”. In the Aawambo culture, bride price is standard. Now the video leaves an impression that exorbitant amount might have been paid.
Hmmmm the negative effect of colonization and colorism....The term is colorism as a result of colonization and hatred. ...Hopefully, hubby paid a prime price because of your advanced degrees PLUS PLUS PLUS beautiful dark chocolate skin tone....Loving the matching clothing.
It shows that you can take care of the wife and family.✊😷
Aha 🙌🏾🙌🏾
But if the price is too high, how much would you have left to take care of your own fam🤔🙆🏾♀️
@@Lempies ...that's when elders negotiate and they would have investigated the worth of the family before they choose the girl because it's an offering🤔. That's why they arrange it (before) the couple meet. You are using generational thinking🌱 speak to the elders of your village and get their point of view. Your wonderful 90+ grandma❤ and auties or grandpa would be valuable sources🤔
Very good is not much about the money , showing respect to mom and dad and the rest of the family
🤣 I love you guys💞
You go girl you are highly educated USbari should pay lot of lobola
I agree.
People are people. Your worth should not be attributed to certain factors.
i lke the way bubuchino blinks
Wow I just meet this video but I got too much interested, even in Uganda you have to pay to the family not less than two cows and beyond it depends on the family they asked for you. And when the bride is more educated e. g Doctors, lawyers etc you pay more than two cows and together with other stuffs but most case it also depends on the bride's suggestion because they ask her before they make decision for this and in Uganda is called okwanjula.
Is a common practice in most of the African continent I would say, in Italy instead back in the days from the bride side there was "dote" the money and the groom side needed to provide the Hause.
You was that living at home at the time you met your husband.
2nd 😂💃🎉🤸
i love different culture, thank god for the melting pot. truly a gift from the lord.... god bless you 2 .
Yes u have to according to the tradition
Q sortuda q essa mulher foi, pois o cara e muito gato,🧐😋😋🤩🇧🇷🇧🇷
No matter what no matter how u happy being togather i❤u guy n b what u have to b ...💋
So how much usually that the groom must paid to hes soon to be wife family
Depending on the value that the family place on their daughter, her accomplishments and most important on the role that the person played in the family. If you are taking their only breadwinner.... Be prepared 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑
Hi, Guys 😊
Does Lobola mean that a young African man cannot marry unless he has a wealthy family.? Now I understand the song "Malaika".....pesa zasumbua roho yangu
Well... How many families would encourage their daughter to marry a homeless and unemployed man in America?
@@unyanyembe7844 If the young man has not yet the money needed to be able to marry, that does not mean that he is homeless and unemployed. Of course he most probably is not the man the girl's family would want to marry her.
@@samogavorto8763 I do not understand the judgementalism; where they come from, they buy expensive rings which do little other benefit than ostentation
@@unyanyembe7844 Different priorities
Correction, in India, Bangladesh and Pakistan it is women who must provide a dowry to the man's family. There have been dowry linked deaths in these communities wherever they are in the world, where the husbands' families have apparently abused women and made unending demands for money and jewelry. It appears to be an issue in their communities, how much of an issue I do not know. Is the press sensationalizing it or is it in fact under-reported? If you have any subbies from these communities perhaps they can enlightened us?
I'm all for being open minded for other cultures, but some things just need to go.
If you can't agree with something morally then I think it's just authentic to express it.
If cannibalism was part of a culture, would you also do it out of respect? I doubt it.
I find this particular custom something that would mean no loss if abandoned completely. But it will not vanish until people start to stand up against it.
yea it's colourism
We don't have to how much you paid Alex. That's your business 😂
Inlove with the afro hair and the dress.
But who determines the price the man pays?
Alessandro has been an integral part of your posts for a long time. Why don't you consider changing the name of the channel?
I think its okay the way it is, "Lempies".. How else would you suggest they call it?
❤❤
Hi Lampies
I would like to find out or maybe advice.
I'm from an oshiwambo ethnic group and my partner is from a different group. Now when It comes to weddings how do I advice my parents that I do not want that big cultural or traditional weeding that they really expect every child would have?
On the other hand how to I convince my partner to respect my background and do what the family want even though personally I don't want it at all, but I do not what to create tension between me and my parents.
I'm asking because I notice you guys had a very small beautiful and unique weeding.
I've heard & have seen some videos with African weddings, where this tradition is done. I have some questions; 1) what if the family does not have enough or any money to pay? Does the wedding still go on? 2) besides the education of that person , each family can decide what they want? I saw a wedding where the bride had to bring over 100 blankets to the family , they requested them. So can it be clothing, animals etc, instead of money? I suppose when one gets involved in a multi-culture relationship , these are topics that differently will be brought up. Great topic!
1...Umhmhmh,the family of the groom have to try as much as they can to pay the dowry(lobola).I think negotiations can be made between two families(groom and bride families), but it is very important that as a man he pays lobola..If they are not able to pay:it shows he wont be able to provide a good life for our daughter:and we will be skeptical in giving her out for marriage to such a coward groom..I feel like that reason has kept some men in cohabitation ,they didnt marry maybe because they cannot afford..
2. I have heard that people in Sri Lanka for instance:its the bride that pays the lobola to the groom family.Like what Ale said that back then in Italy:the bride was supposed to be having a house or so.I think in India:it is the bride that pays dowry too..
Countries like Nigeria bring a long list of things they demand from the groom..so, it varies from culture to country..
They have to negotiate, but honestly, you will not insult the woman's family by saying that you cannot pay lobola.
Paying Lobola is an old practices even from our ancestors Isaac and Jacob..So it's biblical.
It was used even in Italy but on the contrary the bride was bringing (la dote) some money or propriety to start the marriage.
He acts like He want a return of purchase. ..
Does He want to Return to Sender?
No it's not fair.
You didn't say how much you paid for your beautiful wife Alex 😄
Its is very very fair enough.
My Wambo tribe is cheap, comparing to other cultures.
Some Wambo native dont even ask anything.
I dont go with that 😏😒
Many guys cant afford to pay Lobola, It must be cancelled
I wont demand any money for my daughter iam not selling my CHILD 🤢🤢🙄🙄
At Lettie: you are right..I wont say for us aawambo lobola is cheap:but it isnt also expensive:it is fair. By the way:which native Vamboes don't ask for lobola?shaashi for many vamboes they ngaa ask for a cow..i heard for kwambis:even one cow thigh(oshitako shongombe)can be used as lobola..Then back then people used to add tobacco, and hoes(cultivating tools)and other items for lobola..Nowadays:money can be used as lobola in addition to a cow..I think a cow is still a must..unless pamwe muli muushimba..sorry for the vernacular...
@@ndatitangitomasnalukaku8740 You are right. Aawambo people do not ask a lot from the groom as a bride price. Basically, a cow is the flat bride price across all aawambo tribes thus far. If one cannot afford a cow, then any other gift that a groom can afford e.g a goat, sheep, chicken, 2 metres textile, a blanket, dry tobbaco, or even nothing at all is acceptable. Just to highlight that if a groom cannot afford to gift the parents of the bride for having raised a good omuwambo woman for him doesn't mean that the parents will deny him the bride. Thats how lenient our culture is in the short run. But long-run the groom becomes part of the bride's extended family and is expected to support the family where he can.
wamboo cheap than Zimbabwe lobola
@@tavongamataruse5186 tell us abit more about it that side,please...
I don’t understand lobola. We could have used the money for other important things.🙄
I am sure you do thing differently where you come from
Legenda em português!
Some people ask for unnecessary material and take advantage of the groom.
Yes, I thought you were telling us the price, why have that in the title?
I have the feeling Ale didn’t pay anything 😂😂😂😂
I never thought he was going to tell the exact amount. It is not our business.
What is your Husband culture ? In Germany the family of the wife pay for white wedding
Good question 🤔
I just want you guys to tellme where yall get these fine guys from
I think those are old traditions! Back then you were basically paying for the daughter. It’s the same for many other countries. Honesty people really need to get with the times! Woman being sold! Period! I trade you my daughter for $$$$! Sorry but not sorry! It’s sad it’s still going on and they coloring it with pretty stories!
I dn't think it is a trade because the amounts that is normally paid is too little. I think there is nothing wrong with giving a gift to your parents in law be it money, cattle or maxbe the best gift would be a worker to do the chores that the other person used to do 🙊
If you understood the meaning behind paying lobola you would know that it’s not a trade it’s deeper than that. It’s a way of connecting two families it’s done like that in African cultures(those who practice it)
You have it wrong, we pay lobola in my culture and it symbolises gratitude. We pay cattle, some of it is used as food at the wedding, some of it is killed and stored as food for the new couple, the other as a gift to the brides parents, when a calf is born it is given to grooms parents as a gift.
That is your opinion. We do not come to your culture to tell you what to do. Respect ours by staying out of it.
N i❤d outfit.....
Alle, I think Lempie is worth more than any amount of Loyola could be.
I will copy this and send it to my uncle 😅😉🤗
@@Lempies Yes, do it😊😊😊