Meanwhile... Greta's Frogs Might Be Coming For Stephen's Insects
Вставка
- Опубліковано 10 вер 2024
- Meanwhile... Stephen reacts to news that scientists have named a newly-discovered species of frag after climate activist Greta Thunberg. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertY...
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com...
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
Also.
Didn't anyone else notice that the 'hairball' that was 'caughed up' by a cat we haven't seen, is being picked up by a CAT. 04:04
04:04 talk about a fourth wall break. we live in a simulation 😵🖥
Thanks for pointing that out, hahaha!
Nice! 😂
" "Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale / Her infinite variety" (Act II, scene 2)." Great delivery of line from Antony and Cleopatra/ Shakespeare. Colbert is fascinating for the same reason as Cleopatra - his amazing range of expression.
Wow, you must be old.
Well said, friend. Colbert is a fun expressionist.
Very insightful
@@DrDeathpwnsu Not everyone in the world is 14, Chad.
@@bradjones5963 wow, you must be old too.
That first part of 'Sometimes, just sometimes folks...' had me laughing out loud
The only thing more genius than the research and writing of Meanwhile is your comedic timing, @Stephen Colbert!
How you manage to churn these out, show after show, is a feat of human ingenuity.
I thought he was joking about the spider and beetle that is named after him but its really accurate
My mind is blown 😂
Stephen is not,just "some comedian" he is the doctor that brings the best kind of medicine. And he really does do some great projects behind the show.
Facts! Thank you nerdyentomologist!
Oh yeah
Further proof smart people listen to this kind of comedy
I just looked them up. They're fucking real.
The Meanwhile pre-amble gets me every time. Hilarious stuff.
i find it annoying
One of th best things he does!!
@@Bjoern_1897 totally agreed… the intro is longer than the actual segment, which is fucking dumb (the intro being longer than the segment, not the segment itself).
He's always done the meanwhile openings that way even back in The Colbert Report. I'm a Colbert fan, and the meanwhile openings are always awesome. He needs to bring back the Word of the night.
Really? But it's so predictable. The bit is done.
Great balls of fire!! 🔥😱
There, I said it. 😵💫
“…and warming the balls up to temperatures between 98 and 113 degrees.” 😧
Wait. Fahrenheit. FAHRENHEIT!!
Maybe it doesn’t need to be said. Best case scenario, heating testicles to 100 degrees _Celsius_ would pain-trauma their owner into a vegetable.
It's pretty much been a hard and fast rule which has not failed me yet: anyone who says "injection" and "testicles" in the same sentence is off the Christmas card list!
That’s a sentiment shared by Andy Parsons:
ua-cam.com/video/BGldV7h2x5k/v-deo.html
Those mice or rats endured torture of their genitals. That's just not right. Just not right.
Poor little guys.
"If they were cooked above 113 degrees the balls didn't recover."
Um, so? This is a method of birth control we're talking about. Sounds like a success story!
Every day I write the book.
We learned about warm ball “birth control” through generational fashion. Markedly lower sperm counts for men wearing tight pants vs high sperm counts of men who wear baggy jeans
The ideas been around longer than that. I read about it in a sci fi book written when bell bottoms were in fashion.
I think they did a study to see if men who kept their cell phone in their pant pocket had lower sperm count. Not sure if they were able to prove it or not.
I thought this was exactly why balls drop and rise depending on the weather. Too hot or cold was bad for reproduction.
Hot tubs too I remember being told not to use it by doctor when we were trying
I hope that something comes from that mouse study. The commercials for magnetized, potentially disastrous scrotum heaters would be simply magical. And the iron injection would make people who set off the metal detector at the airport significantly more entertaining to watch.
Aussie beer ads are better.
I just can't get over how extremely convenient it is! Women have a daily pill or an inserted device. We men could have an injection and a four-hour wait!
Yeah and i won't have to risk burning my balls by teabagging the stove anymore
Call me old fashion but I just ya know....get a condom.....but hey electrify my balls away!
When “do you have protection?” Turns into “Have you pre baked the boys?”
Or girls or however your nuts identify.
This segment was soooo funny it made my day. Your writers are fantastic but the delivery makes it even better. Colbert you are the ultimate
@@RickTBL do you prefer hannity ? He can really deliver huh
Ultimate trash factory
There’s no way you’re real or even exist.
It was awesome theater seeing Stephen revived as they kept calling his name and clapping.
I adored it!!!! If the crowd *WASN'T* hyped that wouldn't have worked. He *TRUSTED* the audience to know what to do and *BAM* he got it♡.
There's new contraceptive too....tell your date all about NFT's.
Or just tell your partner you've bought them..
I have never felt so bad for a mouse before.
I finally understand the arguments animal rights activists make...😰
Animal testing is hideous and should be illegal.
Legend has it that he did meanwhile without the opening spiel once….. it’s a myth.
It was in the Before Times of 3 days ago.
Yep it's this week. We were saddened and so was Stephen.
The intro sucks!
They must have been under pressure or something because it happened this week.
@@jamesgoines7663 Sometimes you need to have a sardine and motor oil omelet to learn once again to appreciate the same-old, same-old peanut butter and jelly sandwich you have for lunch.
Date: so what do you do?
Scientist: I put magnets next to mouse balls. For science.
if you think that's bad, imagine being the guy collecting the samples.
He forgot about the bear also named after him.
Known for its coal-coloured fur.
The bigger turnoff is mansplaining, not block chain. A guy I went out with before would talk about basketball nonstop and end each monologue with "you don't understand it anyway". Then it was Super Bowl, and I excitedly talked about players, statistics and strategies for an hour. Afterwards, I never heard him bring up basketball again.
I like how the scientists were calling the testicles "Balls".🤣
i thought it was just a joke, but stephen actually has animals named after him xD
The mouse study is basically the same principle behind why men have been told not to put their laptops on their laps.
yeah it's the entire reason mammals have testicles located outside of the body - to reduce the temperature 😂 now why evolution thought having the organ necessary for the survival of the species unable to survive inside of the actual species is anyone's guess 😂😂😂
@@debjoy12 I think because our body temperature is too hot for sperm to survive if testicles were inside the body.
@@dawnofapril3055 r/whoosh
How ridiculous is it that humans seek out the most complicated methods of reaching a simple goal. Iron oxide and electrified balls? What's wrong with using a strategically sited hot water bottle?
It takes hours and doesn't last very long. Nore is it exceptionally effective. Thats What's wrong
There are pills that do the same job. They have the same side affects as the one for women. Women just care more about not getting pregnant than men do about not getting them pregnant.
I thought we had this figured out back in the 80s, when tight underpants, jeans and bicycle seats were accused of male sterilization by the overheating effect they had on male sperm production. Is this science? Are we going backwards? Is this what happened to Ancient Tech lost? How does this pass for science and justify torturing these mice? I have seen grade school science fair projects more intelligent than this.
Or a hot bath or hot tub soak!
I can just imagine the poor little mice trying to run away dragging magnets behind them on their testicles
Man invents new torture device. Obviously can't use it on humans ANYMORE so,... Some children just shouldn't be allowed to have pets.
1:39 😲 When a Sleeper Agent accidentally says their own Deactivation Code.😴
💩
Why would you automatically assume that your date ISN'T interested in blockchain, and why would you assume she knows less about it than you?
Love Stephen and Thank you for "Meanwhile"
I thought he was making the bug names up. I looked them up....and he was telling the truth XD
Of course he was! I never doubted him for a second
@@lenawagenfuehr53 It seems that humanity and real life has left me a jaded shell of my former self...
Love the intro to Meanwhile, sometimes I listen twice.
Ooh, Stephen, Jeff Daniels has a parasitic worm that kills tarantulas...
Yeah he really has 2 insects named after him. That’s how you you know you made it when bugs are named after you!!!! Lol
The burden of birth control shouldn't fall solely on women, especially because the hormonal ones have so many undesired side effects.
And, while we're at it... wouldn't it be great, for once, to see a pregnancy test commercial showing a woman happy the test was negative? Would it kill them to, just once, affirm that being pregnant is not every woman's mission in life?
And, while we're at it, wouldn't it be great if a pregnancy test commercial showed a woman happy about a negative result?
Hello, I agree.
@@krejados1 with yourself
The money our government wastes on torturing animals for absolutely no good reason continues to astound me. And piss me off.
Right? We can create virtually anything as a virtual model, so why are we still blinding animals for our cosmetics?
Besides the despicable cruelty to other beings, rodent genitalia are not the same as that of a human, and are evolved specifically to avoid overheating.
Just have a damn vasectomy.
Male contraception alternatives would be aimed at all ages, not just middle aged men that don't want a 3rd kid. A 17 year old can't just get a vasectomy.
Currently, male contraception pills with just like female ones do, but men don't like the side affects. They are the same side affects as female pills, but they just don't care enough about not making women pregnant to deal with those side affects.
@@rsmith6366 a vasectomy is not permanent and can, for most cases, be easily reversed. It doesn't matter what is or isn't available, current statistics show trends we already know exist.
"Although surgical sterilization is available for both women and men, tubal ligation is nearly three times more common in the United States than vasectomy, and this trend is repeated worldwide. -vasectomies are quicker, easier, safer, and cheaper than tubal ligations." AMA Journal of Ethics
Other than withdrawal and condoms, vasectomies are the only approved male contraceptives. There are several different options in different stages of research. Those include: 1)Gendarussa 2)RISUG, which stands for reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance, is non-hormonal, minimally invasive, reversible, and is effective for up to 10 years. 3) Male hormonal contraceptives - androgen steroid therapy 4)Clean Sheets Pill 5) Epididymal Protease Inhibitor
@@sainjawoof3506 I think you might mislead some folk here. Vasectomy is indeed not technically permanent, but there are certain things about reversal procedure, that people better keep in mind before vasectomy.
First, while far from being most difficult procedure, it’s still much more complicated than vasectomy itself, require expensive equipment for microsurgery, competent surgeon, etc. Not only it’s increase the cost, that also increase the room for error. If you live in the US you should also know, that you most certainly will have to pay for it yourself, insurance doesn’t cover it.
Second, if in the middle of operation it will turn out that your tubes are too scarred to be simply sewn back, you actually will require another more complicated operation, with even less chance of success. In funny cases it might turn out that your surgeon is not actually qualified to do it, then he will just sew your scrotum back “as it were” and be on his way. In most cases tho you will be presented with a bigger bill as fait accompli.
Third, while there are a lot of studies promising “as high as 95%” success rate (whatever the hell such formula even mean”). They mostly been advertised by health care providers, i.e. those who will send you the bill _regardless_ of the outcome. The real pregnancy rate after vasectomy reversal according to other studies can be as low as 30%. Can this number be trusted? No. But you should not expect “easy reversal” either. You might pay for it and then still resort to frozen sperm, there’s no guarantee whatsoever.
My point is, when you decide to do a vasectomy, you should expect it to be permanent. Don’t have this attitude “I’ll just do a reversal later if I feel like it.”
@@svenzverg7321 I'm not anyone's healthcare provider so I am not advising anyone. A vasectomy is not advertised as reversible to avoid liability. It is a simple severance of a tube, and it can be reconnected it a variety of ways. Doctor competency and available health care costs and coverage, doesn't effect the bottom line, as results are the same worldwide.
As to trusting statistics, it all depends on who is funding the study, the type of study, the size of the study, the factors and variables addressed by said study, as well as the statistical significance.
@@sainjawoof3506 Tubes can be reconnected one way, and vasectomy itself can be reversed one other way, if reconnection of tubes doesn't work. And, yeah, it is not advertised as reversible because of liability, but where does a liability coming from here? To tell people that it's just "reversible" is extremely misleading, that's where. It can be reversed in some cases, and in others it straight up can't. That's not what called "reversible" by default, it's what called "sometimes reversible" or "usually reversible". Vasectomy should not be used as a temporary solution, no responsible person would try to create such an impression, yet here you are.
Lab mice always getting screwed the wrong way every time.
Visualizing the creation of the criminally insane nightmare gift basket was a perfect Saturday morning delight 🐻🐻🐻
That jacket is 🔥 Jon!
'" and gently placing them into the flawlessly, composed, and delicious edible arrangement that is my nightly monologue..." consider that your nightly dessert! dang bro!
Newly discovered? I learned in the 1960’s that the testicles “drop” outside the body to regulate their temperature below body’s temp. - BG
I've got a grasshopper named after me, but then, I discovered the new species myself.
Oh? What’s it called?
The mice 🐁 thing is so messed up 😒
One of my favourite things is the introduction to meanwhile.
Stephen: poses a threat to my bugs *shows a spider, an arachnid*
Heck, even many insects are not "technically" 'bugs'.
None of the three he showed were actually bugs. The other two were insects.
Though "bug" has become a general term for things like insects and arachnids as well, so it makes sense.
I stay up late every night just for this.
Every night?
@@moaz6588 They must enjoy being disappointed twice a week.
Living in Hawaii has a lot of advantages...
you can't tape them? 😂🤣
Meanwhile!!!!
Greta deserves a world where people work together and treat each other with kindness to save the ecosystems of Earth together
Really, Greta deserves… how about everyone else? What are you, The Little Prince, do you live in the moon? The ecosystem does not need saving. It will regenerate back after it gets rid of you and me. What we need is to act responsibly about it and stop trying to exploit nature for profit without considering the consequences. It is not about her, you groupy, it is bigger than her.
So my previous reply did get deleted. Huh. I'm starting to think it's an automatic thing with YT, posting comments with links to external websites gets them deleted immediatly upon posting - and probably for good reason too, come to think about it in that way.
Anyway, as I was saying, I think I can help with that. There's a global initiative being launched and picking up speed which aims to pretty much create that world. It's called Conscious Planet and the mothod being deployed is exactly by raising the consciousness of the planet we're living on is a, well, living system. We need to take care of it, of how we're conducting ourselves as a lifeform among many and all forming the vastness of the planet's life-functions. Become conscious of how our ability to be conscious *is* the planet's ability to be conscious about itself. And then act accordingly, responsible and with the respect of knowing that whatever we do, we do it to ourselves first and foremost.
@@rafaelvelez1253 Hey Rafael, that goes for you too, my comment to OP does. You're already on the fast track in the right direction, but it's crucial not to invoke that tired old horse, "us vs them," can't be judgemental. We need everybody on board for this to come through.
Agreed
@@WormholeJim Really? Like your remark about my being well on my way does not mean a judgement, it does not set me apart. Judgement does not mean sentence but it means consequences. Good judgement is the necessary result of knowledge in the face of humanity’s destructive nature and the goal of any camping about restoring nature’s balance. Onboard means either you walked on by yourself or you were lifted aboard from overboard. To lift someone onboard you have to extend a hand and the other party has to grab it and contribute some effort to being brought on board. Is there a better example of us vs them?…without the versus that is! Being 65 I can not help but to sound old and somewhat cliché. Se pas?
Stephen's delivery is perfection. His writers are extraordinary. The writers really are key to the show. Why not feature them once in a while?
He has in the past but I agree he should do it more often!
They do! In fact, Colbert just did a whole bit with an adorable "youth" writer. He must have heard you 😄
I'm currently watching Babylon 5, season 1. And given the events of Jan 6th, 2021 a sudden terror came over me with this thought: "What if Mike Pence had been the President, and Trump his VP?" Anyone who remembers that series will also blink twice.
Stephen forgot to the mention the bald eagle that was named after him during the "Colbert Report", that was immediately tracked high tailing it to Canada...!
Does "Meanwhile" bring other people the same nostalgia as "Better Know a District" as it does for me? With every district being 'The Fightin' **th'?
Meanwhile...
I not only stay up late to enjoy Stephan but also stay up into the next day because I am afraid to be awake during daylight hours. Crazy Eh!
Goodness gracious great nanoballs of fire!
If you have nanoballs, just get the covid vaccine, I hear that fixes things right up.
@@lexslate2476 according to Nikki Minaj
That study with the mice is the scientific equivalent to slamming your fists on the keyboard while screaming "WHY DOESN'T THIS WORK!?"
Watching Stephen before the first “meanwhile” was like watching Michael Jackson standing motionless in front of crowd. Epic
So, India has known about warm ball treatment as a “temporary” male “infertility” device for decades, if not centuries. The testes hang below because they operate best in conditions below body temperature. Heating up the testes slows down, and can stop the production of spermatozoa. As a young sexually active teenager, I used to take uncomfortably hot baths with a thermometer to kill my count until I could get a vasectomy
Fun fact:, Indian men used to lay their sacks on sun warmed rocks, so the spermatozoa would stop producing viable candidates
@@tergish1 Have you seen the population numbers for India lately, I'm not sure DIY works 😁😁
@@malavoy1 Well, when the population is large to begin with, and producing lots of children is crucial for subsistence (farming etc.) and to offset child mortality rates, then even effective methods of birth control are going to have less of an impact overall.
Damn dude, is it really so hard to wear a condom that you'd fry your balls instead?
@@rysler It's not the "hard to wear" thing that limits condom use, but the fact that that "thin" rubber sheathing steals away sensation... And yes, men ARE so self-centered, that their sensations rule their "brains" (both of them).
Colbert is freaking hilarious
Preach it Stephen. Church of Meanwhile.
I hope that temperature of the mice balls was in Fahrenheit!
Ow!
Stephen, you crack me up! I listen to you every night 🤣
I feel so sorry for all mice in experimental labs! why? why?
We should feel bad about that. Have you experienced 114 degrees like these mice did? I only experienced 104 and that starts to get a bit painful. A little bit higher will scald the skin.
You know, considering how much sht women have had to put up with around birth control and abortion rights, not to mention labor; I think that male birth control method sounds fair.😂
@@Stevie-J If you prefer pills, there are oral options to reduce male fertility.
@@Stevie-J on the top of my head, spironolactone is one.
It is worth note that this is something you would have to take consistently- not just the morning before/after sex.
@@Stevie-J birth control isn't usually free. It's something your insurance may or may not cover but even if it is covered- you're paying for it indirectly.
Likewise, you can get a prescription for drugs like spironolactone. After insurance, I pay about $10/month for mine but I don't take it for contraceptive reasons- that's just a happy side effect.
The most effective male birth control I have been exposed to is a woman's derisive laughter.
Only for rats. They couldn't get the rats to hold them long enough to increase the temperature.😁😁
I love how long he milked that awkward pause on this one.
Well, the story before proves that hair can be used to make a lovely ball cozy.
I thought schwetty balls were already a kind of contraceptive.
Oh, you gave them fever balls and they stopped working? And clogged them up with rust! Who knew
My cousin Chris Van Houdt discovered a few beetle while in Africa and Haiti. Beetle expert Amsterdam
Glad Stephen’s back with the Meanwhile Preamble this time lol
-iron oxide nanoparticles
-magnetic tool
-electric coil
-98-113 degree F
Me as a chef: Ever heard of Sous Vide?
Me as a person: Ever heard of a bath?
We all know Stephen uses Elven Magic to conjure these ordinary set of words to something magical.... We all know that right???
All is right with the world again-the beautifully Byzantine preamble is back!🙏🙌🎉
Wearing very tight underwear or daily hot tub/sauna would do the same job. No need for electric coils around the junk.
Jeezum Petes! Those poor mice!!
The Wasp also controls bugs. So, a direct correlation there.
Love Meanwhile..and Jon looks super swag!
Actually sitting in a hot tub every day is a great birth control method. Never got pregnant until we went on vacation. No hot tubs on vacation
Meanwhile is my favorite day of the week
You see every day Stephen take a piece of art genre like cyberpunk and carefully animates by hand each meticulous detail, writes every beautiful philosophical conversation that strands into existential dread and composes beautiful Japanese melodies that build the amazing work of art that is the Ghost in the Shell that is his monologue.
But sometimes folks, some times he takes an out of budget animation project, gathers a bunch of existential malarkey nonsense to write the poorly drawn and written final episode of the overrated Neon Genesis Evangelion series that is his segment: Meanwhile.
Warning. Not saying meanwhile is overrated, but you know what I mean xD
Love it!
Does that mean with the help of the frogs, Stephen’s flies will be undone.
That mouse experiment is all kinds of messed up.
Really thought the balls joke was going to lead into a dig at people who think the COVID vax included a microchip
"Goodness gracious mouse balls on fire."
Thank God the preamble to Meanwhile is back!
I thought it was gone for good the last time he did Meanwhile!
How long til the theater is renamed as the Sullivan-Letterman-Colbert Theater?
The snap finally on point
This is definitely one of the endboss Meanwhiles :0
I see a crown in the band! Yeeeeees, Queen!
Does UA-cam seriously show me an explanation below the video where it explains global warming to me?! I feel like an idiot.
5:16 Unfortunately these innocent, sentient, feeling beings on which those horrific "experiments" of sexual torture were performed could and would never consent. This is just horrific beyond words. Humans truly are the worst. Please nonexistent god remove us from this planet.
Seriously? It's a rodent. It may save millions of sentient lives. It's not like they deliberately hurt it and call it names and stuff. They learn how a mammalian reproductive system works. I think it is noble. (The research, not the damn bags of fleas and disease which would not die clean Disney deaths in the wild, you know.) And rats are sentient? Innocent? You never been infested by them, I would say. They don't seem to "feel" much when they eat their own newborns or fight each other to the death.
A black suit and a pencil black tie is so reminiscent of the Blues Brothers. Is there a sequel pending?
The meanwhile analogy made me go from salivating and hungry, to ready to throw up. Cheers.
How dare they!
What passes for "science" sometimes is reprehensible when it requires a non-consenting subject. The validity of animal testing for actual medical science is dubious, at best, but the absurdity of tests like the one you cited here are morally inexcusable. I sure wish you'd use your platform sometimes, just sometimes, to speak out against our collective disgusting treatment of animals.
Amen!
A ring with thorns? Oh dear… someone should check her freezer.
I won’t be surprised if she gives MG Kelly a “special chastity” device…
That advice: Proceed.
Aw, look, two minor celebrities making outrageous crap up to get out attention. 🤮
Don't forget Bear 747 who is named "Colbert" and won Alaska's Fat Bear Contest a few years back. 😁😁😁
I hate that animals are tested and researched, using cruelty and terror. It's 2022! There are other ways to test than using animals!
The Friday night crowd helps you get through the week? They are the blood in your veins? Whaddya mean Stephen ? I was in your audience on a Monday. The Monday crowd not only did an outstanding job getting you through the the 1st day of the week, we got you hyped for the remainder of the week! We deserve a mention also.
That's a joke about the fact that a lot of his Friday shows are taped on Thursdays
Fellas, scrap the electric coils and just sit in a hot tub for a few hours… warm those balls up nice and consistently.
Glorious musical outro !!