Castles are Designed to Kill You

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,5 тис.

  • @nimfadoro1169
    @nimfadoro1169 4 роки тому +4266

    “I have the high ground.”
    -“I’m left handed.”
    “Oh shi-“

    • @Yellowbuzz-ug6of
      @Yellowbuzz-ug6of 4 роки тому +178

      Basically left handed people were gods from what I’m hearing 😏

    • @stewardoautumn8063
      @stewardoautumn8063 4 роки тому +49

      Im getting princess bride vibes

    • @hyxl3r254
      @hyxl3r254 4 роки тому +88

      @@Yellowbuzz-ug6of finally im special

    • @NoName-hx5gj
      @NoName-hx5gj 4 роки тому +9

      @@hyxl3r254 needs

    • @alguemaleatorio8713
      @alguemaleatorio8713 4 роки тому +54

      @@hyxl3r254 too .
      Let's go invade some castles, my left handed friend!

  • @JoshDurelofIOW
    @JoshDurelofIOW 4 роки тому +4060

    Their design to kill only makes them more fantastic and whimsical, not less.

    • @jyessiterriaynt1131
      @jyessiterriaynt1131 4 роки тому +166

      In a way yes but it’s ironic how castles are looked at as something glorious when back in those days they would’ve been looked at in a similar way we look at fighter jets

    • @hejalll
      @hejalll 4 роки тому +30

      But how did he not mention gatehouses

    • @B20C0
      @B20C0 4 роки тому +54

      Yes, there is a beauty in death not many understand.

    • @tristenmonkman7928
      @tristenmonkman7928 4 роки тому +1

      @@jyessiterriaynt1131 p

    • @starfirejordan9875
      @starfirejordan9875 4 роки тому +4

      @@B20C0 true

  • @ppbandit8832
    @ppbandit8832 3 роки тому +3733

    THE FACT THAT THEY MADE THE STAIRS UNEVEN IS SO PETTY
    but also kinda genius

    • @Jack-kx5rf
      @Jack-kx5rf 2 роки тому +315

      They did this in regular staircases too to combat witches. It was believed that witches couldn't understand offset stairs so they would fall and die. Killed a lot of old women that were then accused of being witches.

    • @dgo5051
      @dgo5051 2 роки тому +145

      @@Jack-kx5rf having a uterus alone would make you a witch in medieval times 💀

    • @MattH-wg7ou
      @MattH-wg7ou 2 роки тому +44

      Now we have broads who need attention saying (with a straight face) that they are actually witches lol.

    • @athena1491
      @athena1491 2 роки тому +43

      @@MattH-wg7ou men can and are witches too, and its not typically some hocus pocus stuff where we think we'll set fire to something with our minds, its, spicy psychology,
      meditation and rituals for self care, and intention for like, focusing on what we want to happen and acting towards that happening. "I want to have a better financial situation, so im gonna sit down and focus on what I need to do to do that and then do those things."
      I'd much rather have people that practice self care in a way that works for them than some judgy jerk on the internet so, yeah have a lovely day... any witches wanna hang out?

    • @MattH-wg7ou
      @MattH-wg7ou 2 роки тому +25

      @@athena1491 I thought that what you describe was just being a healthy well adjusted human being? Why is that being a witch?

  • @bengoodwin2141
    @bengoodwin2141 3 роки тому +2534

    More specifically: it's designed to keep the people on the inside safe and people on the outside dead

  • @dumbdude3103
    @dumbdude3103 4 роки тому +2785

    First thought:
    "Castles and no Shad?"
    *Shad pops up*
    "There he is."

    • @gdragonlord749
      @gdragonlord749 3 роки тому +111

      machicolations MACHICOLATIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS!!!!!

    • @joelcrafter43
      @joelcrafter43 3 роки тому +14

      WAIT WHAT!? Okay I was about to click off now I gotta watch it.

    • @dillon7748
      @dillon7748 3 роки тому +33

      @@EricDMMiller what does pronouncing a word slightly differently from how most people would have to do with comprehension of subject matter? Especially for an antiquated word that no one today would pronounce the same as people would have at the time when it was regularly referred to. I had a computer science teacher that pronounced Java with the first 'a' like 'apple' so I guess that means everything he taught me about the singleton design pattern was invalid

    • @dillon7748
      @dillon7748 3 роки тому +32

      @@EricDMMiller that hasn't been my experience. He just seems to me like a guy who's passionate about certain things in medieval history and relays things he's learned and ideas he has about it. I'd be interested to know the things he's apparently getting horribly wrong if you could provide specific examples. I will say I specifically looked into the controversy about the arrow on the right side stuff and found the opposition to his claim/speculation pretty weak.

    • @HydraVolt12
      @HydraVolt12 3 роки тому +19

      @@EricDMMiller >PragerU
      There it is. So which of his videos got you so butthurt?

  • @jherazob
    @jherazob 4 роки тому +2490

    Bringing Shad in just to talk about machicolations was absolutely the best move

    • @matthewnichols7207
      @matthewnichols7207 4 роки тому +65

      I love both those channels. Im always excited when a UA-camr collaborates with a similar channel.

    • @goodyKoeln
      @goodyKoeln 4 роки тому +87

      Probably cut out 2 hours from Shad talking to fit in the video. 😇

    • @NOMAD-qp3dd
      @NOMAD-qp3dd 4 роки тому +6

      @@goodyKoeln 🤣😂

    • @tamurkhawaja7279
      @tamurkhawaja7279 4 роки тому +8

      I knew it was coming

    • @davidnorth6670
      @davidnorth6670 4 роки тому +8

      Would've been disappointing otherwise lol

  • @leosmith1522
    @leosmith1522 4 роки тому +7444

    Little Fact, Left handed swordsmen were paid more than there right handed colleagues because they can fight up spiral staircases.

    • @donweatherwax9318
      @donweatherwax9318 4 роки тому +840

      True - and it's amusing to imagine mercenary commanders recruiting, training, and developing lefthanders, like minor league baseball GMs:
      GM 1: Sirrah, my Dunkirk double-A siege squad shall storm the Tower of Witches next month, yet we sorely lack two strong setup men. Tell me, who canst thou offer me?
      GM 2: Good sir, I can spare yon veteran sword master -- oh, thou knowest him? Good... And for thy second man, behold! My newest prospect: this broad-armed, thick-skinned, _left-handed_ lad, whom I approached whilst he was robbing a group of--
      GM 1: Oh, a southpaw, eh? Very useful indeed, when clearing out towers with clock-wise staircases! Is't good with a kite shield? Fine... how's his footwork?
      GM 2: He's a mountain boy, so sure-footed, even on blood-soaked stumble-steps. And my good sir, wait till you see his dickoff move! I tell you, his high-pitched victims never see it coming!
      GM 1: I must have him. Wilt thou take three big halberd-men, and that far-sighted scorpion-aiming bloke?
      GM 2: Dost thou insult me, with thy trio of busted camp-followers and that squinty, slothful, scorpion-snapping sod! On the other hand... [sighs] I'll bite, _if_ you throw in that big blind trebuchet-cranker -- that huge bastard with his eyes gouged out, but arms like windlasses? Add him to the rest, by God, and thou shalt have my young southpaw to anchor thy five-man witching rotation.
      GM 1: Done! And I can't wait to see his dickoff move. It sounds fun, it does!

    • @salvadortoscano2534
      @salvadortoscano2534 4 роки тому +89

      @@donweatherwax9318 I need more of this xD

    • @wildeast66
      @wildeast66 4 роки тому +468

      This is not just because of the staircases. Left handed people have a lot of advantages in many fighting sports, especially with swords. Right handers are used and trained against right handers. Its difficult for them to fight against someone with the sword at same side. On the opposite, the lefthander is used to fight against righthanders.

    • @onemanarmyoma0155
      @onemanarmyoma0155 4 роки тому +62

      @@wildeast66 One would have to be made left-handed by his parents, who would have had foreseen the baby would or had to become a swordsman....because other than that it doesn't offer much advantages in life to be left-handed.

    • @heavyweaponsscout9990
      @heavyweaponsscout9990 4 роки тому +33

      Hahaha, left handed people rule. 💖

  • @josejuanrosales3614
    @josejuanrosales3614 3 роки тому +1089

    "Meanwhile when I build a castle in minecraft":
    How many blindspots do you want:
    "Yes"

    • @Archris17
      @Archris17 2 роки тому +81

      There's also the issue that you're only one dude in Minecraft... And you're never going to really be defending against an attacking army... Or have anyone to assist you. Part of why I grew disillusioned with Minecraft was that no matter how pretty I made something, it never had a purpose.

    • @cobalius
      @cobalius 2 роки тому +60

      Just build a castle like i do.. two cobblestone above each other, torch ontop.
      It's usually enough for the night.

    • @davidsplooge14
      @davidsplooge14 2 роки тому +19

      @@Archris17 a hundred players servers

    • @wilmagregg3131
      @wilmagregg3131 2 роки тому +27

      @@Archris17 actually you can now they added a new mob faction called Illagers that if you attack them WILL invade the next village you go to with a whole a army of dudes wizards archers calvary and all.
      made the building villages system so much more satisfying cause as you said they now actually had a purpose to DEFEND the village which now has diverse jobs and usefull resources.

    • @SephirothRyu
      @SephirothRyu 2 роки тому +17

      In fairness, what constitutes an effective castle in minecraft is actually usually something made of obsidian. I am not too familiar with optimal shapes though, so you'd have to ask the 2b2t guys on that. Some of the closest things to spawn to actually survive any real length of time are apparently obsidian structures that were used in the server's various wars.

  • @sigmascrub
    @sigmascrub 4 роки тому +899

    "you know what one of my favorite castle death traps are?"
    me: *removes headphones*

    • @SonsOfLorgar
      @SonsOfLorgar 4 роки тому +40

      Clever... this isn't your first torney, is it?

    • @aprettycoolname4839
      @aprettycoolname4839 4 роки тому +9

      Castles are deathtraps too Just let Them starve

    • @grantbaugh2773
      @grantbaugh2773 4 роки тому +16

      Yup. The second I knew Shad was involved with a video about castles I knew we were gonna get a headphone busting battlecry.

    • @cherrydragon3120
      @cherrydragon3120 4 роки тому +5

      All good and fun but what about dragons?

    • @grantbaugh2773
      @grantbaugh2773 4 роки тому +3

      @@cherrydragon3120 they've been defeated rightly by the ultimate weapon. Pommels!

  • @xINVISIGOTHx
    @xINVISIGOTHx 4 роки тому +3708

    When someone randomly assures you that they aren't a supervillain 🤔

    • @theblackbaron4119
      @theblackbaron4119 4 роки тому +80

      Press *X* to doubt.

    • @Spiceodog
      @Spiceodog 4 роки тому +46

      also Kyle * releases a cognitohazard onto the internet*

    • @teIekid
      @teIekid 4 роки тому +26

      First time here, kid?

    • @EEEEeee2748
      @EEEEeee2748 4 роки тому +13

      he did recently acquired radioactive material..., hm

    • @ChrisHolman
      @ChrisHolman 4 роки тому +4

      X

  • @GianKout20
    @GianKout20 4 роки тому +475

    -"Tristan why did you build these stairs is such a strange manner?"
    -"To stabby stabby murder murder downwards."

    • @chasesan
      @chasesan 4 роки тому +14

      Well, why didn't you just say so in the first place.

    • @creeperizak8971
      @creeperizak8971 4 роки тому +8

      To make stair stabs easier, of course!

    • @ismata3274
      @ismata3274 4 роки тому +2

      So this is where the high grounds advantage started?

  • @MysterySteve
    @MysterySteve 2 роки тому +651

    Well, as a lefty, now I know that if I were to live in medieval times, I'd be much better at sieging than defending any given castle

    • @redsabre69
      @redsabre69 2 роки тому +5

      same!

    • @ycy2428
      @ycy2428 2 роки тому +54

      well we were kinda considered spawns of satan back then for that

    • @revenevan11
      @revenevan11 2 роки тому

      Same here!

    • @whyarewestillhere8562
      @whyarewestillhere8562 Рік тому +14

      @@ycy2428 warlords didn’t really care about that tho

    • @jakobwhaley5641
      @jakobwhaley5641 Рік тому +3

      I'm ambidextrous so I can do both

  • @kevind3974
    @kevind3974 4 роки тому +829

    Original thought was “shad would want to see this”. Then I saw shad nodded and thought “machicolations”

    • @JuliusCaminus
      @JuliusCaminus 4 роки тому +27

      I may have screamed it.

    • @omnitroph1501
      @omnitroph1501 4 роки тому +43

      MACHICOLATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!!!!!!!

    • @lukasjuszczak1664
      @lukasjuszczak1664 4 роки тому +9

      I came here to talk about machivolations.
      Alas, late but might join as well.

    • @Biff_McFly
      @Biff_McFly 4 роки тому +6

      I was thinking about him yelling that literally since the first shot that showed them

    • @aranavenger
      @aranavenger 4 роки тому +5

      But What about Dragons?

  • @youssef-td2vb
    @youssef-td2vb 4 роки тому +813

    Fun fact: water filled moats didn't have alligators, they were just how all of the castles residents disposed of their waste, mainly piss and fecal matter. This worked well as a defense mechanic for castles, because most people are hesitant to go through water filled with sewage waste and hurt their morale. Water filled moats also were a good deterrent because anyone going through was much more likely to develop an illness and die. Thus the myth was started.

    • @MonkeyJedi99
      @MonkeyJedi99 4 роки тому +130

      Who needs moat monsters when you have moat biomes!

    • @Acepunydefoc
      @Acepunydefoc 4 роки тому +72

      Also made it more difficult to get ladders and other climbing devices to the walls. If you added a draw bridge it also highly difficulted direct attack to the door.

    • @dojando6003
      @dojando6003 4 роки тому +87

      another fun fact, most castles didn't have moats since they were build on hills to defend the castle more easily. Only on flat land they needed another kind of defense since they did not have the high ground. But even than it was very well considered if a moat was necessary since it was a huge cost in money and labor force to not just build a castle bit to dig up a moat that would actually be useful as a defense. 🤓 xD

    • @zinn7733
      @zinn7733 4 роки тому +21

      @@dojando6003 so you're telling me obi-wan had it right this whole time? I always thought that high ground jive was just a bunch of mumbo jumbo

    • @ABadassDragon
      @ABadassDragon 4 роки тому +39

      @@zinn7733 The power of the high ground has no equal

  • @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache
    @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache 4 роки тому +2826

    Castle videos: *Exist*
    Shadiversity: Now you're speaking my language.

    • @hugemango2011
      @hugemango2011 4 роки тому +7

      Well, well, well...

    • @enigmus7962
      @enigmus7962 4 роки тому +42

      It’s not a UA-cam video without Just Some Guy without a Mustache, or Just Some Guy with a Mustache

    • @markandresen5107
      @markandresen5107 4 роки тому +27

      MACHICOLATIONS!!!

    • @shrekwazowski8199
      @shrekwazowski8199 4 роки тому +6

      Just Some Guy without a Mustache WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVERYWHERE DUDE???

    • @ErykBeyk
      @ErykBeyk 4 роки тому +2

      And you follow Shad too...

  • @maxlashley5672
    @maxlashley5672 2 роки тому +329

    I was in a castle tour in germany a few years back, and one of the things they told us about was the holes in the ceiling of the tunnel the main entrance was in, which would be used for arrows obviously, but also a lot of boiling oil or wax to be poured onto attackers when they breach the gate. I'm guessing boiling oil was also used in the murder hole looking over the walls

    • @EdwardIkorMusic
      @EdwardIkorMusic 2 роки тому

      The oil tossing is actually a myth. It was too expensive at the time to chuck oil, so they'd throw boiling animal fat instead

    • @samueldurazzo5312
      @samueldurazzo5312 2 роки тому +52

      I thought boiling oil was a debunked myth? Too expensive, time consuming and unmaneuverable in a siege to be viable? Maybe just pots of boiling water?

    • @nubreed13
      @nubreed13 2 роки тому +52

      They rarely dumped boiled oil. They would however dump hot water or sand on you.

    • @nextlifeonearth
      @nextlifeonearth 2 роки тому +44

      Murder holes are actually another kind of trap, not part of machiculations.
      A murder hole is typically what they put in an enclosed space between two gates, They would keep the first gate open and the second closed to lure in the enemy soldiers. Then they close the first gate and in the ceiling there would be a hole (this is the murder hole) where they would sometimes poor down burning liquids (don't forget tree pitch, which was comparatively easier to obtain than oil or wax), but more often just heavy rocks and arrows and some nasty words to boot.

    • @redsabre69
      @redsabre69 2 роки тому +14

      @@nextlifeonearth Damn enemy defenders and their harsh language... (shakes fist)

  • @Vex-sn7ne
    @Vex-sn7ne 4 роки тому +686

    “You have all the room to stabby stabby downwards.”-Kyle 2020

    • @ViewtifulZeke
      @ViewtifulZeke 4 роки тому +30

      "stabby stabby, murder murder"

    • @Vgamer311
      @Vgamer311 4 роки тому +15

      “Sweet, sweet, fleshy flesh.”

    • @alphagt62
      @alphagt62 4 роки тому +5

      “I’m not a Super Villain”. I’m not so sure I believe him?

    • @thiagothebaldi4255
      @thiagothebaldi4255 4 роки тому +8

      "murder maximization"
      This is probably the episode with the most Kyle supervillanic lines.

    • @CT-Wrecker
      @CT-Wrecker 4 роки тому +3

      Stabby Stabby MURDER MURDER

  • @CarBENbased
    @CarBENbased 4 роки тому +629

    Me: Waits for Kyle to say "Machicolations!"
    Kyle: *Gets Shad to do it*
    Me: *Happy surprised Pikachu face*

    • @salvadortoscano2534
      @salvadortoscano2534 4 роки тому +9

      He said crenelations, I'm with you, bro xD Kyle should've said it, it's fun!!

    • @smolselene9453
      @smolselene9453 4 роки тому +3

      And then he opted for murder holes.

  • @nathancarter8239
    @nathancarter8239 4 роки тому +1710

    Me, upon seeing a castle/medieval episode from a UA-camr: "I wonder if Shad will show up in this episode."

    • @iwistudio7337
      @iwistudio7337 4 роки тому +49

      My thought exactly

    • @thelairofthereaper4619
      @thelairofthereaper4619 4 роки тому +100

      SAME! I saw this and was straight up, out loud, "If Kyle doesn't have a Shad cameo screaming MACHICOLATIONS then i am going to be sad"

    • @MasonRHarper
      @MasonRHarper 4 роки тому +5

      Me too

    • @andrewolson5471
      @andrewolson5471 4 роки тому +12

      @@thelairofthereaper4619 We can now all be happy.

    • @fcolon4
      @fcolon4 4 роки тому +8

      Matriculations!!!!!!!

  • @DaVeganZombie
    @DaVeganZombie 3 роки тому +316

    The moment you said “crennelation “ in the intro. I thought “man I hope Shad comes on to scream “MACHICOLATIONS!”
    I was not disappointed.

  • @1AmGroot
    @1AmGroot 4 роки тому +570

    Kyle: makes a video about castles
    Shad: did somebody say... MACHICOLATIONS!!!

    • @scottydu81
      @scottydu81 3 роки тому +4

      Kyle: makes a video about enrolling in college
      Shad: did shumone shay…
      MACHICHICHACHINS!!!

  • @thelonesniper6292
    @thelonesniper6292 4 роки тому +1135

    "I remember when imperial walls and towers made me feel safe."

    • @charlesholliday9594
      @charlesholliday9594 4 роки тому +41

      If you're not attacking them they should.

    • @thelonesniper6292
      @thelonesniper6292 4 роки тому +86

      @@charlesholliday9594 Damn Imperial. Ulfric Stormcloak will reign as true High King of Skyrim!

    • @justehgamer
      @justehgamer 3 роки тому +48

      I wonder whether vilod is still making that mead with juniper berries mixed in

    • @kevinboehm8346
      @kevinboehm8346 3 роки тому +24

      Oh good, you’re finally awake...

    • @diegovalverde5080
      @diegovalverde5080 3 роки тому +8

      THIS NEEDS MORE ATTENTION LMAOO

  • @RicikXHromik
    @RicikXHromik 4 роки тому +114

    Shad was screaming in my head "machicolations!!!" before he showed up. Awesome suprise colab!

    • @NOMAD-qp3dd
      @NOMAD-qp3dd 4 роки тому +1

      Yea at the start of the video i thought, "oh he's just begging for a response video from Shad isn't he?"
      🤣😂🤣 a couple of my fav tubers right here, it's a good friday.

    • @toropazzoide
      @toropazzoide 4 роки тому +2

      In your head? He was screaming it in our heart.

  • @niffwasau1815
    @niffwasau1815 3 роки тому +276

    “I’m not a supervillian” yet you made Roko’s basilisk okay, but I’m happy to work for you

    • @Yashael341
      @Yashael341 3 роки тому +7

      That was my immediate thought exactly. Always happy to find another twisted mind.

    • @AlechiaTheWitch
      @AlechiaTheWitch 3 роки тому +3

      I don't worry bout roko. With how my generation is going. I will be dead by the time we get there. We are still fighting over colours basically. Mhmhm red and blue. And if i am wrong well ok. Consequentialist philosophy. And if everybody thought like this roko might not exist at all. But the prisoners dilemma comes into play as well. There is a lot of factors. But roko might not know because by this philosophy he wont exist by my death.

    • @louisrobitaille5810
      @louisrobitaille5810 Рік тому +1

      He didn't make Roko's basilisk, he only spread its concept. It's not like it's the worst thought experiment there is about "do this or else you'll suffer" out there. In a way, Pascal's wager is one such thought experiment 🤔.

    • @juanpabloflores8179
      @juanpabloflores8179 Рік тому

      I was tempted to watch that video, but I read the comments, without spoiling much, and desist. You can't "unknown" what you know (well, you could technically have amnesia). As Cipher said in "The Matrix", 'ignorance is bliss'.

  • @mattcarlson6047
    @mattcarlson6047 4 роки тому +211

    Kyle I think you made a misstep. Right after Shad finished explaining machicolations you called them murder holes, which are very different things. See castle gatehouses usually have 2 gates, so that if attackers get through one gate they have to immediately get through a second. (Same philosophy as the outer walls and killing fields) Murder holes are holes in the ceiling between those two gates where defenders could pour hot oil, or tar down on attackers while they try and breach the second gate. Another sick death trap for sure, but different from machicolations.

    • @gliesegliese1411
      @gliesegliese1411 4 роки тому +30

      Tar and oil were far too expensive for that purpose, however boiling water did the trick just fine

    • @dahobdahob
      @dahobdahob 4 роки тому +29

      @@gliesegliese1411 Also heated sand

    • @The_Tactical_Taco
      @The_Tactical_Taco 4 роки тому +18

      @@dahobdahob If high enough a large rock would even do the trick. Don't even need to heat them and they can be reused next time.

    • @Sparklyrelic1518
      @Sparklyrelic1518 4 роки тому +8

      Another common tactic was to shoot arrows through them, oil was too expensive to waste

    • @falsebeliever8079
      @falsebeliever8079 4 роки тому +4

      During the fourteenth century the British dropped frag grenades and napalm.

  • @SixofQueens
    @SixofQueens 4 роки тому +611

    God do I love seeing how Shad has grown into the public consciousness, at least as far as UA-cam is concerned. This man almost singlehandedly challenged and changed (from my perspective) the word of archery when he reasonably questioned and then experimented with shooting an arrow (specifically three finger draw, Mediterranean style) on the outside of the bow rather than the inside based on evidence from Medieval artwork and logical deduction, which in modern times was deemed IMPOSSIBLE or at the very least too dangerous and inaccurate to even be worth attempting.

    • @Boold198891
      @Boold198891 4 роки тому +10

      I know what u did there :D

    • @venoltar
      @venoltar 4 роки тому +31

      Oh god, I can hear the sounds of angry archer keyboard warriors on their way over already.

    • @SixofQueens
      @SixofQueens 4 роки тому +15

      @@venoltar Let them. More people that we can show the Shad way!

    • @toxicdermyillunary4103
      @toxicdermyillunary4103 4 роки тому +7

      @@SixofQueens The Chad way

    • @MrWhiteVzla
      @MrWhiteVzla 4 роки тому +16

      MACHICOLATIONS!

  • @mistertwister2000
    @mistertwister2000 4 роки тому +568

    Kyle: So for my next video I want to cover castl-
    Shadiverisity: *heavy breathing*

    • @Darkkmos
      @Darkkmos 4 роки тому +48

      M A C H I C O L A T I O N S

    • @rollochairbreaker230
      @rollochairbreaker230 4 роки тому +6

      But what about dragons?

    • @henrypaleveda7760
      @henrypaleveda7760 4 роки тому +2

      "machiculation?"

    • @orionfoxx1954
      @orionfoxx1954 4 роки тому +1

      Rollo Chairbreaker he did mention dragons

    • @NimaFoell
      @NimaFoell 3 роки тому

      @MisterTwister too soon... much too soon (hardcore Shad fans will know what I mean)

  • @gedu7653
    @gedu7653 3 роки тому +98

    Don't forget about castles in other cultures! In Japan the castles had a lot of steps for example that went up to the castle. Like the steps you explained to be so random to make you trip, but in a way bigger scale, leading up to the castle itself!

    • @VoltisArt
      @VoltisArt Рік тому +12

      England and Japan both have their share of nasty hills where you could funnel enemies into awkward spots because the other sides are just too hard to climb. Certainly not every stronghold had that advantage, but those who could find it, used it.

  • @elderblackdragon
    @elderblackdragon 4 роки тому +360

    "I'm NOT a supervillian!" Kyle nearly every episode.
    How's that line from Hamlet go? "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

  • @RockinMonkey
    @RockinMonkey 4 роки тому +343

    Kyle: “...I’m not a villain”
    Me: Nope, just store brand Aquaman.

    • @MassiveKreutz
      @MassiveKreutz 4 роки тому +12

      Let's just hope Amber Bedshitter isn't around to beat him up!

    • @cherrydragon3120
      @cherrydragon3120 4 роки тому +1

      Hahahaha 😂😂😂

    • @erikbarrett85
      @erikbarrett85 4 роки тому +4

      Store brand Chris Hemsworth

    • @erikbarrett85
      @erikbarrett85 4 роки тому +1

      There's NO WAY he's not basing his look on Chris Hemsworth.

    • @IJustAteYourGrapesBro
      @IJustAteYourGrapesBro 3 роки тому +1

      @@erikbarrett85 look, Chris Hemsworth forgot to hit the jump button in time and got nailed by a goomba, now he needs to get the mushroom so he can power back up, BACK OFF!

  • @jayberkovitz6783
    @jayberkovitz6783 4 роки тому +265

    "I'm not a supervillian", exactly what a supervillian would say...

    • @cliffordsherman7702
      @cliffordsherman7702 4 роки тому +5

      Jay Berkovitz he really wants to emphasize his non supervillaininess so much it makes me begin to wonder.

    • @peters2928
      @peters2928 4 роки тому +3

      Megamind would disagree

    • @kgmotte2363
      @kgmotte2363 4 роки тому +5

      I Mean... He Has a Giant Evil Science Lair, he has Armies of Minions, he has an enslaved Sentient AI Running the place, he Has Access to several Doomsday weapons, he has a Mad Science lab, he has a Genetic Aberration Zoo, Deathtrap defenses.... If it Walks like a Duck, Quacks like a Duck, Looks like a Duck....

    • @cliffordsherman7702
      @cliffordsherman7702 4 роки тому +2

      KG Motte look I mean yes he has looked into faster than light guillotines and tricked many into gazing at the basilisk but I mean when you come down to it who hasn’t?

    • @kgmotte2363
      @kgmotte2363 4 роки тому +2

      @@cliffordsherman7702 Hhmmhhmm Hhmm hmm....
      *Quietly Adds Your Name to a list of Potential Super-Villains to Look into for future Employment as a Lackey*

  • @hawkenparker
    @hawkenparker 4 роки тому +143

    When I went to England (I'm from texas) I was REALLY surprised by how smart their castle creation was. I almost died on the steps, you can't fit two people side by side on most staircases, (I'm also 6'6" [198cm]) the little porthole thingies at the top of castles are so freaking small i thought I was going to get stuck, so the odds of a man with a sword and board and all that armor making it through would REALLY suck, and it would funnel them into a single file. Brilliant guys, really really brilliant. (Also, those spiral staircases made me motion sick...)

    • @shaggybaggums
      @shaggybaggums Рік тому +5

      I was going to comment on how we spent quite a while poking holes in each other, first with sticks, then with sticks made of better stuff and devices to fire pointy sticks.
      There was then going to be a comment of the evolution of the defences we came up with to counter those using combinations of earth, wood, and stone, but I was interrupted by the realisation that a firearm is just an advanced way of launching the pointy part of a metal stick at someone.
      So I forgot about the castle part, but I'm sure it was going to be good. Probably not worth the two year wait though, sorry.
      Seriously though, I found your comment about the width of the stair cases very interesting. I've been annoyed by them myself on various school trips while trying to walk up them with someone while talking to them.
      It never even occurred to me at the time that there would be a very deliberate reason for this, nice observation.

    • @Nick-ij5nt
      @Nick-ij5nt Рік тому +4

      Tbf though it would've been A LOT easier for the people living back then. The average male height in medieval Europe was like 5'7(170cm).

    • @shaggybaggums
      @shaggybaggums Рік тому

      @@Nick-ij5nt I used to love seeing the doorways of old buildings, almost comically small.

    • @Nick-ij5nt
      @Nick-ij5nt Рік тому +1

      @@shaggybaggums But now it's the opposite lol. All the doors where I live are like 7ft tall even though people that tall are like 0.00001% of the population.

  • @AntExe-ey5my
    @AntExe-ey5my 4 роки тому +305

    Aria : "Yeah! Metal Rules!"
    We'll she's an advanced AI so she can't be wrong.

    • @gingermcgingin1733
      @gingermcgingin1733 4 роки тому +7

      The question is, what kind rules the most? Heavy, Extreme, Thrash, Power, Black, Doom, Death, Sludge, Progressive...

    • @seanla38
      @seanla38 4 роки тому +3

      @@gingermcgingin1733 all of thee above 🎸

    • @drigondii
      @drigondii 4 роки тому +1

      Has Aria been hanging out with Aletheia?

    • @jerryonlychild7003
      @jerryonlychild7003 4 роки тому +1

      Well definitely not doom...that’s for sure..heavy,thrash,power, hardcore for sure. But no, definitely not doom..definitely not..

    • @deemcgann1695
      @deemcgann1695 4 роки тому +1

      Ginger McGingin don’t worry...if he was a supervillain、he wouldn’t have said he wasnt

  • @ericstoverink6579
    @ericstoverink6579 4 роки тому +1663

    Shad: Explains Machicolations and what they are and what they are called.
    Kyle: IMMEDIATELY refers to them as Murder Holes
    Shad: Shakes head sadly.

    • @Goblinoiddoof
      @Goblinoiddoof 3 роки тому +99

      Especially since a Murder Hole is a completely different part of the defence

    • @georgedavey1339
      @georgedavey1339 3 роки тому +24

      Murder holes are the "fancy windows" or slits in the stone walls. You will see them on most saxon churches for some reason.

    • @NaoyaYami
      @NaoyaYami 3 роки тому +76

      @@georgedavey1339 Murder holes are completely different part of defense - they are holes in the ceiling that defenders use to shoot attackers that got past exterior defenses and are now inside the keep/tower.

    • @georgedavey1339
      @georgedavey1339 3 роки тому

      @@NaoyaYami dude im from England we have a rich history of castles and keeps. We know what murder holes are.

    • @NaoyaYami
      @NaoyaYami 3 роки тому +39

      @@georgedavey1339 You being from England doesn't mean anything, really.

  • @georgeboswell4319
    @georgeboswell4319 4 роки тому +317

    Rimworld player: Write that down WRITE THAT DOWN

  • @mischarowe
    @mischarowe 2 роки тому +41

    3:54 Ever since I learned about Arrow Slits, every time I play a game I look for such things to shoot through. It opens a whole world of fun.

  • @deepfriedsalt567
    @deepfriedsalt567 4 роки тому +167

    I still feels whimsy and wonder when visiting a castle, however it is precisely because they are absolute meat blenders.

  • @GameTimeWhy
    @GameTimeWhy 4 роки тому +117

    Thats really cool you got Shad on here.

  • @onerbreziar
    @onerbreziar 4 роки тому +193

    heheheh Right on the begining I thought to myself "we should call Shad here".... and then... "
    Machicolations!!!!!"

    • @sagagis
      @sagagis 4 роки тому +2

      damn, I am 10 mins late for commenting about Shadiversity :D

    • @jtbwilliams
      @jtbwilliams 4 роки тому +3

      I was about to ask what about dragons?

    • @auntieaoife
      @auntieaoife 4 роки тому +3

      I nodded off while watching and I woke up and saw Shad and I was like "why is Shad here and where did Kyle go?"

    • @AgentX2006
      @AgentX2006 4 роки тому +1

      Same. From the beginning of the episode all I could hear in my head is Shad screaming "Machicolations!"

  • @9600bauds
    @9600bauds Рік тому +21

    another cool detail: the reason why castle towers are round is that attackers figured out you can really wreck any square building by digging underneath the corners. by having round towers at the corners you're depriving your enemy of any weak points to dig under

  • @doctorwhoinfinite
    @doctorwhoinfinite 4 роки тому +103

    *sees Kyle made a video about castles*
    Shadiversity will either hate or love this
    *sees Shad is the guest to talk about machicolations*
    Nice

  • @widgren87
    @widgren87 4 роки тому +842

    Anyone else hearing a distant cry of "MachicolatioooooonnnsssAHH!!", or is it just me?
    Note to self, watch entire video before making jokes... Still Kyle and Shad in a video about castles :-)

    • @widgren87
      @widgren87 4 роки тому +13

      @@santiagofaiella1255 And swords ;-)

    • @TheCompleteMental
      @TheCompleteMental 4 роки тому +11

      Let's see if Shadfacts shows up

    • @widgren87
      @widgren87 4 роки тому +4

      @@santiagofaiella1255 Versatile enough you could imagine it being invented in Switzerland :-)

    • @widgren87
      @widgren87 4 роки тому

      @@santiagofaiella1255 Oh that made me laugh, ouch my face :-)

    • @johan.ohgren
      @johan.ohgren 4 роки тому +4

      The Shad legion has arrived I see..

  • @narcolepticaxolotl4970
    @narcolepticaxolotl4970 4 роки тому +743

    Nobody:
    Shadiversity viewers: MACHICHOLATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNSSAAAAHHhhh

    • @salvadortoscano2534
      @salvadortoscano2534 4 роки тому +3

      Hi :D

    • @orionfoxx1954
      @orionfoxx1954 4 роки тому +2

      Yep

    • @Maninawig
      @Maninawig 4 роки тому +11

      Cute axlotl.
      What would have been icing on the cake would be Jazza running up with his Machickyulashuuuns shirt.

    • @narcolepticaxolotl4970
      @narcolepticaxolotl4970 4 роки тому +5

      @@Maninawig Yessss!

    • @lolloblue9646
      @lolloblue9646 4 роки тому +4

      Did somebody say MACHICOLATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONZAH!

  • @6Just6Stan6
    @6Just6Stan6 4 роки тому +69

    The staircase going to the right has always been my favorite about castles. I learned that at a young age and feel in love with that.

    • @AscendancyLF
      @AscendancyLF Рік тому +2

      It's also just a myth. No idea why Kyle presents it like a fact.
      First of all: These types of stairs are VERY RARE in castles. Most don't even have them. Also the amount of these stairs that go clockwise or counterclockwise is 50/50. So why did they not just build all clockwise if they are so "effective"?
      There are even more things that disproof this.
      Sorry to burst your bubble and yes, i am fun at parties.

  • @leodoz1016
    @leodoz1016 4 роки тому +136

    Video: a castle is mentioned
    Shad: It's free real estate

  • @SeRgEaNt_RaNdOm
    @SeRgEaNt_RaNdOm 4 роки тому +69

    As a fan of both Shad and Kyle I could not be happier at this collab, especially the MACHICOLATIONS!!!!! part

  • @SickoFromHell
    @SickoFromHell 4 роки тому +165

    Arrowslits in French is called "Meurtrière" its literally means murdering

    • @SickoFromHell
      @SickoFromHell 4 роки тому +7

      @Zacharie Boivin Aaaactually, meurtrière is the feminine of murderer

    • @luketufts6827
      @luketufts6827 4 роки тому +5

      @john Mullholand murder holes are something different, actually.

    • @luketufts6827
      @luketufts6827 4 роки тому +1

      @john Mullholand 👌

    • @Batman_the_bad_man
      @Batman_the_bad_man 4 роки тому

      @Zacharie Boivin murdering (infinitive) = tuer in french

    • @cherrydragon3120
      @cherrydragon3120 4 роки тому

      Nice

  • @sekirk
    @sekirk 3 роки тому +48

    I’d love a second part to this with more info on other ways they’d defend a castle. Like how they would also use that trap entrance to pour searing hot oil or pitch onto attackers

    • @somesillydude
      @somesillydude 2 роки тому +5

      Hot oil, tar or pitch is a myth. Boiling water is more likely. Oil and such is way too expensive, today still, to just waste on throwing on attackers.

    • @somesillydude
      @somesillydude 2 роки тому +4

      Oh and just plain big rocks, dont forget about those, they are cheap and dangerous!

    • @VoltisArt
      @VoltisArt Рік тому +1

      @@somesillydude you might be surprised at how much oil modern militaries use on attackers. More than one way to "throw." Fuel, material processing, paint, trade sanctions...and that's all just petroleum. Don't have to go back that many years to when napalm was popular for a while, still modern times. One's army has to eat between battles, too.

    • @pro-lapser
      @pro-lapser Рік тому

      ​@@somesillydudeAn F15 or a millitary grade heli are way more expensive than some litres of oil and you still see them being thrown around like paper planes during wars, because wars don't happen every week. Similarly, castles weren't being sieged on a daily basis, they could very easily afford to stack up on some oil between sieges

  • @elvis_mello
    @elvis_mello 4 роки тому +84

    I was like "When is he going to talk about Machicolations?"
    Then Shad came

  • @Hawkwolf1017
    @Hawkwolf1017 4 роки тому +63

    Before I saw the description I was thinking "Man I wonder if he talked to shad about this."

  • @torfinnzempel6123
    @torfinnzempel6123 4 роки тому +209

    A couple of correction for you Kyle.
    1. Star Forts were invented in the era of gun powder so no archers. Just rifleman and cannons. Also, Star Forts are, as the name implies, forts, not castles. Though they are interesting to talk about.
    2. Those merlons where too short. They would be as tall as a standing soldier. If you had to croutch (as you were) then they are not realistic or historically accurate. Since seiges would last for days to months (and in a few cases years) try squating for any prolonged period and you will find you can't. Hence, merlons had to be as tall as the soldiers they were ment to protect, or else they provided no protection. (See Shadiversity's merlons for what propery proprtioned merlons should look like)
    3. Murder holes refered specifically to the holes inside the gate houses from which arrows, rocks spears, burning hot oils etc., would have access to attackers stuck inside the gate house. They did not refer to the machicolations.
    4. This is more of an omission, but you left out how the gate houses were built to be murder factories. Castles didn't have one big door that you opened to go through to enter the castle courtyard (no matter how much hollywood wants you to believe this). They had 2 sets of doors (or gates), so the gate house would protrude out from the wall, with a door on the outside and one on the inside. Between the two doors would be the kill box where attackers would get trapped until they could break through the inner door. One castle I visited had the floor of the gate house slope down after the outer door, until about half way through the gate house, then it sloped up and angled sharply to the left about 30-40 degrees until you got to the inner gate/door. This was to prevent an attacker from being able to use a battering ram on both doors.

    • @bradeki2997
      @bradeki2997 4 роки тому +32

      Me: comes to comments section to make a couple corrections.
      Torfinn: I got this.

    • @torfinnzempel6123
      @torfinnzempel6123 4 роки тому +5

      @@bradeki2997 thanks!

    • @zerberus_ms
      @zerberus_ms 4 роки тому +19

      A very nice comment although I will have to correct you on a tiny misconsption
      Burning oil was seldomly used for that
      They usually poured boiling water or hot sand (it's very effective and unlike the oil variant - cheap)

    • @torfinnzempel6123
      @torfinnzempel6123 4 роки тому +8

      @@zerberus_ms good catch. Thanks!

    • @elproson1
      @elproson1 4 роки тому +2

      I love the kill box between the gates. I was wondering if he would talk about it.

  • @kungfuskull
    @kungfuskull 3 роки тому +48

    I like to think that a thousand years from now, AA towers and such will be seen similarly made cute by pop culture

    • @bjboss1119
      @bjboss1119 2 роки тому +1

      I'd like to see someone make bullets cute in the next thousand years....
      We're already halfway there!

    • @ideallyyours
      @ideallyyours Рік тому

      @@bjboss1119 Bullet Bill

    • @TechnoMinarchist
      @TechnoMinarchist Рік тому

      ​@@bjboss1119 Skippy from Cyberpunk 2077.

  • @asdfasdf6606
    @asdfasdf6606 4 роки тому +230

    Castles: COME AT ME BRO!
    Attacking Army: Nah lets just surround it and starve them out.

    • @OnixMint
      @OnixMint 4 роки тому +3

      Good Crusader or use siege walls :D

    • @FilthyPeasant6
      @FilthyPeasant6 4 роки тому +18

      Surrender? Hah! We can hold these walls until we die of old age.

    • @quin2910
      @quin2910 4 роки тому +4

      Don't forget launching turds into the walls

    • @mamenggaluh8897
      @mamenggaluh8897 4 роки тому

      The Siege of Storm's End?

    • @DrunkGeko
      @DrunkGeko 4 роки тому +6

      @@quin2910 more like plague infected corpses

  • @ABadassDragon
    @ABadassDragon 4 роки тому +253

    Anyone watching Shadiversity:
    *laughs in machicolations*
    Edit: commented before i saw Shad was in the episode. My 2 favourite creators doing a collab? Awesome!

    • @shoootme
      @shoootme 4 роки тому +8

      MACHICOLATION!!!

    • @metakillz3532
      @metakillz3532 4 роки тому +3

      SAMEEE

    • @Talenel
      @Talenel 4 роки тому +10

      As soon as I saw it was a video about castles, my first thought was, "Huh, I wonder if he talked to Shad."
      Yep, he sure did.

    • @tatuvarvemaa5314
      @tatuvarvemaa5314 4 роки тому +3

      Exactly what I thought, than my brain went straight to Sam o’ Nella.
      Its like one of those kids play grounds courses at Mc Donalds.

    • @davidgumazon
      @davidgumazon 4 роки тому +2

      Now I just realized Anime/Manga/Web Novel their Castles are all trash. EZ to breach.

  • @tchao1995
    @tchao1995 4 роки тому +647

    “Dragons dying over the age of 45”
    Those poor babies

    • @salvadortoscano2534
      @salvadortoscano2534 4 роки тому +8

      Is that in dragon years, though?

    • @destynova4512
      @destynova4512 4 роки тому +5

      So that's why there are no more....

    • @hexados7479
      @hexados7479 4 роки тому +20

      @@salvadortoscano2534 dragons mature quick in a lot of lore they can reach full adulthood anywhere from 3-10 years and after that a lot of them are either immortal or can live for centuries to millennium

    • @CorvusCorone68
      @CorvusCorone68 4 роки тому +14

      i think there was meant to be a comma between dragons and dying

    • @destynova4512
      @destynova4512 4 роки тому +5

      @@CorvusCorone68 well yeah, but this way it is comedic gold.

  • @kitsunesden8085
    @kitsunesden8085 3 роки тому +33

    "I'm not a super villain"
    - Kyle Hill, super villain, 2021

  • @Nerobyrne
    @Nerobyrne 4 роки тому +126

    The best siege:
    "Let me in!"
    "No."
    "Okay then"

    • @Mrraerae
      @Mrraerae 3 роки тому +12

      "Let me in! This castle is mine!"
      "No!"
      "I'll come in by force, ya daft bastard! I've got an army with horses and ladders and trebuchets and battering rams"
      "I have rocks and buckets of really hot sand that we can drop on you and autumn is coming, your men wanna get home to harvest their crops."
      "God damn it Gary! You're such an asshole! Fine! Keep your bloody pile of rubble. I'm coming back next year, you know!"

    • @matheussanthiago9685
      @matheussanthiago9685 2 роки тому +2

      that's monty python and the holy grail summarized

  • @hurricane9634
    @hurricane9634 4 роки тому +213

    People when castle existed must have been: *everywhere I go, I see a trap*

    • @crimsonraen
      @crimsonraen 4 роки тому +4

      I think more likely, most people just didn't think of them in their every day life.. Although there were probably still those who didn't tarry when walking under murder holes and such. :)

    • @TheAuron32
      @TheAuron32 4 роки тому +4

      much like the internet today...

    • @juke9674
      @juke9674 4 роки тому +3

      Visiting thailand like

    • @bananatorpedo275
      @bananatorpedo275 4 роки тому

      RenegadeMastah ohh so that what trap nation means

    • @dboot8886
      @dboot8886 4 роки тому

      I'm a BEE Hah! I wish!

  • @benrex7775
    @benrex7775 4 роки тому +306

    Shad: Machinations
    Kyle: The murder holes Shad just explained.
    Shad: ...

    • @VoltisArt
      @VoltisArt 4 роки тому +28

      col...machicolations. Machinations are plots or schemes which may include machicolations.

    • @infini_ryu9461
      @infini_ryu9461 3 роки тому +6

      Machicolations are technically a form of murder hole, being developed out of the murder holes in ceilings, likely from the holes in churches.

    • @BattleSpew
      @BattleSpew 3 роки тому +5

      The archer slits that Kyle explained previously are also murder holes. Any engineered gap to allow defenders to assault the attackers with little fear of retribution fall under the category of murder holes.

  • @Cholm
    @Cholm 3 роки тому +23

    I literally was thinking to myself "geez if he keeps talking about castles, he's going to summon Shad.."

  • @troyhoffman9411
    @troyhoffman9411 4 роки тому +42

    4:17 - "These crown-like elements allowed defenders to expose as little of themselves as possible (phrasing)." Gotta love an Archer reference when talking about archers. I love it!

  • @noname2250
    @noname2250 4 роки тому +229

    normal people: wow look at the walls!
    Shadiversity viewers: Machicolations!!!

    • @hawktitan7896
      @hawktitan7896 4 роки тому +5

      Yes

    • @MooShaka89
      @MooShaka89 4 роки тому +5

      LOL came here to say this

    • @NinJestre
      @NinJestre 4 роки тому +8

      MAAAAACHIIICOOOOLAAAAATIONNNNNNNNNSSSSSS!!!!!!!

    • @101Mant
      @101Mant 4 роки тому +2

      My first thought when this popped up in my feed, is he summoning Shad?

    • @nesurame
      @nesurame 4 роки тому

      Never knew the real name for murder-holes until now.

  • @Sykdude
    @Sykdude 4 роки тому +211

    "I'm not a villain."
    Um, I've seen you on the Command Zone. Don't lie.

  • @NoSh1tSherlock
    @NoSh1tSherlock Рік тому +20

    And then, if you made it all the way past everything to get into the castle, you would meet the princess, which is possibly the most deadly death trap inside every castle.

    • @pigeon_commander
      @pigeon_commander Рік тому +3

      because she will make u siege another castle
      dont mind my comment from 7 months later

  • @Mycernius
    @Mycernius 4 роки тому +63

    Fun fact: Caernarfon castle is so well designed for defence that in 1403 only 37 archers successfully defended it against the forces of Owain Glyndŵr.

    • @zuharran
      @zuharran 4 роки тому +4

      That is a fun fact!

    • @MonkeyJedi99
      @MonkeyJedi99 4 роки тому +4

      @cak01vej QAll I can find is that it was successfully defended by Royalists against three Parliamentarian sieges. I don't have the time or resources to dig deeper than that. I find it impressive nonetheless, as the castle was in a state of unrepair at the time, with only one tower and a gate still having their roofs.

    • @moranjackson7662
      @moranjackson7662 4 роки тому +4

      @cak01vej Castles are designed to be defended against a large army, with very few people. If they don't come with siege weapons, like catapults, 37 Archers could easily defend a castle agains hundreds of soldiers.
      Armys in the european middle ages were rather small. 15k Soldiers are rather unlikely ;)

    • @Adjuni
      @Adjuni 4 роки тому

      I can't find much info about the siege itself but I found numerous mentions that Owain Glyndŵr "Almost managed to capture it".

    • @natehammar7353
      @natehammar7353 4 роки тому +4

      Mycernius Also look into the siege of Corfe Castle during the English Civil War. In 1643, Initially only 5 soldiers defended the castle but the garrison was reinforced to 80. They faced 500 to 600 parliamentarians and were able to hold out for six weeks until releaved. They only lost two casualties compared to over 100 attackers.

  • @momqabt
    @momqabt 4 роки тому +107

    Before the vid starts: duh...it's designed to be defended against overwhelming forces. Unlike total war warhammer
    Edit: also don't forget gatehouses, murder holes, inward facing archery slits...

    • @WackadoodleMalarkey
      @WackadoodleMalarkey 4 роки тому +1

      Yes yes, just give to ratling gunners!

    • @alphagt62
      @alphagt62 4 роки тому +3

      And what about hot oil spouts, and bolder dropping trap doors over your head.

    • @natehammar7353
      @natehammar7353 4 роки тому +5

      alphagt62 There is actually little evidence of the use of “boiling oil”. Oil and/or pitch was used against rams and siege towers, but it would have been too valuable to use against troops (plus setting people on fire inside a building with at least some wooden parts is really bad). Hot sand or boiling water is generally accepted as the most likely stuff to be dumped on attackers.

  • @seosamhrooney4819
    @seosamhrooney4819 4 роки тому +98

    5:09
    Me: *MACHICOLATIONS*
    Neighbour: Hello 911, there's a madman nextdoor screaming

  • @jondorsey2043
    @jondorsey2043 3 роки тому +13

    Awww....Aria with that little "metal" yell is everything i needed right now.

  • @Suko120
    @Suko120 4 роки тому +92

    "Dragons dying under the age of 45"
    aw, poor dragons :c

    • @gqsmooth1969
      @gqsmooth1969 4 роки тому

      What is the average dragon lifespan?

    • @vontw33zy
      @vontw33zy 4 роки тому

      I thought dragons were immortal

    • @13KuriMaster
      @13KuriMaster 4 роки тому +7

      I thought the "dying under the age of 45" was in reference to us humans, and separate from the dragons part that just happened to be right before it in the list.

    • @clara_corvus
      @clara_corvus 4 роки тому +2

      @@gqsmooth1969 Varies, but usually at least a few hundred years. At 45 years, they're basically infants.

    • @sebasfavaron
      @sebasfavaron 4 роки тому +2

      @@13KuriMaster ye that was the joke @Space did haha

  • @luisg.martinez9124
    @luisg.martinez9124 4 роки тому +108

    “Stabby stabby murder murder downwards” needs a t-shirt

  • @666tonsofsquirrels
    @666tonsofsquirrels 4 роки тому +89

    2:38 "Yea, metal rules" made me very happy.

  • @nathanielgrey4091
    @nathanielgrey4091 3 роки тому +20

    It is amazing that castles ever fell. A testament to the siege tools and tactics

    • @VoltisArt
      @VoltisArt Рік тому +6

      Most of them fell, because they weren't made of fancy well-engineered stonework. Most castles were wood and other common building materials that rarely last centuries. Some have walls of hand-placed rocks somewhat still standing to show us where they used to be.

    • @RustyDust101
      @RustyDust101 Рік тому +8

      Rarely by being stormed, but by being starved out.

  • @eliyahgemstone7505
    @eliyahgemstone7505 4 роки тому +41

    Actually the term murder holes refers to a whole different castle feature that is very much separate from machicolations. I watched Shad's videos on castles.

    • @AlechiaTheWitch
      @AlechiaTheWitch 3 роки тому

      Would that be like what the chinese used. Like dropin bombs through them

    • @famousdev9707
      @famousdev9707 3 роки тому +3

      @@AlechiaTheWitch murder holes were larger holes on the ceiling usually in or in passages between guard gates. attacker would breach a gate and funnel into a cramped passageway, and then encounter another gate. the ceiling would have grates that were removed and boiling oil, fire, poisons etc would be poured in

  • @MazokuJun
    @MazokuJun 4 роки тому +71

    And I thought I receive the castle notification from Shadiversity...

    • @davidgumazon
      @davidgumazon 4 роки тому

      Now I just realized Anime/Manga/Web Novel their Castles are all trash. EZ to breach.

    • @MazokuJun
      @MazokuJun 4 роки тому

      @@davidgumazon context. The Japanese ones shown in Japanese creations are usually accurate and thus in turn hard to breach with their period technology. They usually did less research in Western castles and just took the asthetic instead. Some exceptions exists, like Vinland Saga is pretty period accurate.

  • @medude420024
    @medude420024 4 роки тому +65

    "Not a supervillain"
    Yeah sure, that is exactly what a supervillain would say

  • @jtb6737
    @jtb6737 3 роки тому +11

    One of my favorite is the spiral stairs are designed to allow right handed attackers in the high ground to have advantages over attacking fighters.

  • @biblicallyaccuratecockroach
    @biblicallyaccuratecockroach 4 роки тому +89

    4:50 I foresee a *_MACHICOLATIOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSS_* coming
    5:08 *_MACHICOLATIOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSS_*
    Called it XD (also Shad, wooooooo!!!!)

    • @chibikensan
      @chibikensan 4 роки тому +3

      i know, my happiest moment lol

  • @dokuujin1851
    @dokuujin1851 4 роки тому +88

    I squealed like a schoolgirl when I heard "Incomming transmission from Shad." Oh my. Gold.

  • @dorkseid5874
    @dorkseid5874 4 роки тому +70

    As soon as I saw a video about castles, in my head I heard "MACHICOLATIONS!"
    Imagine my satisfaction when Shad showed up.

  • @mekhakreature
    @mekhakreature 2 роки тому +18

    This is actually _why_ I love casltes. I love the idea of living in a location that is intelligently designed and constructed to murder intruders!

  • @maxh.365
    @maxh.365 4 роки тому +33

    The whole time I was thinking, “They had better collab with shad.” I was gonna be so ticked if it didn’t happen.

  • @kepler9014
    @kepler9014 4 роки тому +128

    **Trebuchet would like to know your location.**

    • @marcosbarrionuevo7792
      @marcosbarrionuevo7792 4 роки тому +10

      *r/trebuchetmemes wants to know your location*

    • @bepbep7418
      @bepbep7418 4 роки тому +4

      Tunneling worked way better

    • @drew8347
      @drew8347 4 роки тому +3

      Trebuchet, a wonderful mechanism, asks too many personal questions though

    • @gabrielandradeferraz386
      @gabrielandradeferraz386 4 роки тому +2

      *Angry AOE trebuchet noises*

    • @ailius1520
      @ailius1520 4 роки тому +2

      Yeah, about that...in real life there isn't a game balance rule prohibiting trebuchets from being mounted on the castle itself. Or cannons. Or giant cannons that didn't even need to be moved.

  • @Frederic_S
    @Frederic_S 4 роки тому +27

    After 4 minuts I was thinking to myself: „If only Shad could make a reactionvideo to this.“ I was not disapointed 🐉🏰

    • @alsaunders7805
      @alsaunders7805 4 роки тому

      He knew if he didn't invite him Shad would make a rebuttal video.

  • @alekszag1998
    @alekszag1998 2 роки тому +4

    The star shaped town at min 2:22 is now called Palmanova (Italy), very sweet place

  • @KamiRecca
    @KamiRecca 4 роки тому +17

    As for your very first question: Yes. A lone Tower like a Lighthouse.
    Also, Machicolations and Murder Holes are two different things.
    Machicolations are, as shown, overhanging gaps in the wall so you can shoot down.
    A Murderhole is a hole in the cieling of a room, often the gatehouse and other strategic passages from where you can shoot down or drop things on enemies that have breached the first level of defence (Like the gate or gatehouse).

    • @martinhanke1670
      @martinhanke1670 4 роки тому

      Thank you for saying so that I don't. Well explained.

    • @KamiRecca
      @KamiRecca 4 роки тому

      @@martinhanke1670 Thank you ^^

    • @MayBeSomething
      @MayBeSomething 4 роки тому

      Is it a problem that I read that comment in Shad's voice?

    • @KamiRecca
      @KamiRecca 4 роки тому

      @@MayBeSomething not at all ^^

  • @LindysEpiphany
    @LindysEpiphany 4 роки тому +36

    I love finding new cool channels that educate as well as entertain. New subscriber....thanks Kyle and friends!

  • @nag7254
    @nag7254 4 роки тому +753

    "Castles are engineered to kill you."
    Wow, don't say, it's almost like they were made to help you defend against attackers

    • @Rubix1982
      @Rubix1982 4 роки тому +12

      A solid defensive position. Duh.

    • @SirTomFoolery
      @SirTomFoolery 4 роки тому +64

      The best defense is a good defense

    • @kabob0077
      @kabob0077 3 роки тому +12

      @@SirTomFoolery Unless the Castle Builder chose a poor spot for said Castle, then it's a good defensive position in a bad spot.

    • @JenkoRun
      @JenkoRun 3 роки тому +2

      I'm your 200th like. Pay me.

    • @cesarpedrazamartinezgarcia725
      @cesarpedrazamartinezgarcia725 3 роки тому +3

      I was expecting a explanation of how dangerous they were to the owners themselves

  • @connorhulkowitz2038
    @connorhulkowitz2038 3 роки тому +43

    “Remember being outside and around stuff” hearing that I laughed because it was funny. Then I realized how messed up it is to laugh at being in a pandemic. What a wild life I get to enjoy 😅

  • @nessmess141
    @nessmess141 4 роки тому +16

    I was about to post machicolations in all caps, but then Shad came on. Love this crossover.

  • @AkahigeNoAmo
    @AkahigeNoAmo 4 роки тому +46

    "stabby stabby murder murder" I am gonna rip and use that in the future, when time and occasion demand me to - this is just too good

    • @mhoppy6639
      @mhoppy6639 3 роки тому

      I agree, it’s fantastic. Reminiscent of the description I saw once of some of the violence in a Tom & Jerry cartoon - basically, “twist, push, stab, lacerate. The end”. Put like that it’s even funnie-I’ll get my coat.

  • @jackleonthegamer
    @jackleonthegamer 4 роки тому +161

    everyone: why is kyle learning about defenses, because he needs to protect his evil base from the government because he's evil
    me: maybe kyle is vampire?

    • @samreddig8819
      @samreddig8819 4 роки тому +9

      Ah a fellow fan of fact freind i see

    • @chrisadler8888
      @chrisadler8888 4 роки тому +2

      Sam Reddig Much respect, such Karl, all facts!!

    • @iNthGineer
      @iNthGineer 4 роки тому +1

      "Curse of Kyle"

  • @silasstryder
    @silasstryder Рік тому +5

    What's neat about the spiral staircase design is you can simulate the effect easily. In Dark Souls there's a black knight atop a spiral stair case, usually you'll end up being forced down the stairs because the top doesn't have much space and you don't want thrown off to your death. However you'll quickly realize any swinging weapon with reach longer than a dagger hits the stairs and beam on the right while the black knight has full freedom to swing. It's actually a pretty common strategy to draw the knight down to the bottom of the tower then enter the tower first so you have the defenders advantage. The knight's swing also gets stopped by walls so it also can't swing at you when you do this. Clearly From Soft understood this cool fact about these stairs when they put this in the level!

  • @edi9892
    @edi9892 4 роки тому +62

    I'd like to point out some prevalent misconceptions though:
    1) even in late medieval Europe, *most castles* (and obviously buildings in general) *were made of wood* (probably 90%). Even today, German has the adjective steinreich (literally rich as stone, or rich in stone) to refer to someone as very rich. It can be assumed that most wooden structures that were built to last were plastered, or had other precautions against rot. The plastering had the advantage that it would look like a stone structure (which were plastered just the same back in the day and often in shiny white).
    2) *Most castles were very small,* smaller than the castle stereotype in your head! This goes especially for stone castles, as building in stone was expensive. In fact, many castles had only a stone keep (often not significantly bigger than a watch-tower of the Roman era), and the rest was made of wood. The next step up would be a main-building with adjacent keep made of stone. Then, it would be the gate, the outer wall, and one or two additional towers. That's it! The main tower was usually only accessible from the first floor, which made the ground floor the vault. This could house valuables, weapons, or prisoners (as it is usually only accessible through a ladder or crank-powered elevator and thus safer than iron bars with a state of the art lock, plus the floor above is likely occupied 24/7 unlike any other room in the castle)
    3) most people *underestimate the required logistics of maintaining a castle* operational. Let's assume your ideal castle with a keep, a gate, 4 towers and some additional buildings. How many defenders would it need outside combat?
    Since the keep has its field of view restricted by the outer structures, it would be essential to man the outer towers and even then it would be very advisable to have people patrol the wall and the roof of the keep. Then, it probably takes at least two men to close a gate and lock it with a beam and while they do it, it would be highly advised that there would be spearmen and archers giving cover.
    So, let's say the skeletal force would be:
    8 archers for the towers, the gate, and the patrols on the wall and keep.
    2 soldiers for the gate (both outer gate and keep!) and another 2 for standby
    This makes 12 in total and that wouldn't be impressive at all in a siege... Moreover, you'd need 3-4x as many if you take shifts into account. To complicate things further, the noble family living there might have 20 members, but only 6 active knights (maybe, 2 too old for service and the rest are either female or children). The other guards will be likely men at arms (expensive), or commoners forced into guard duty. The latter would be pretty much untrained (they probably still have to work on the fields or workshops!), poorly equipped, and would probably open the gates if the invading army has their relatives as hostages... Long story short, you need at minimum 30 soldiers and for each, there would be 2-5 civilians that are either family or provide for them. Thus, your small castle would have to be able to accommodate up to 100-200 people in a siege and you need food and water for all of them, and then it's still ideal conditions for cabin-fever... Then think of how much firewood you'd need, how much smoke there would be, and how much waste there would be needed to be disposed of and that for a castle smaller than a modern block!
    Plus, you probably need to repaint every building once a year and reapply plaster and roofing every 10 years. Wooden structures would need replacement once every generation (20-50 years). The vegetation around the castle needs to be cut down once a year to prevent enemies from sneaking up, or fires damaging the castle.
    4) Just like today, the best door is useless when the enemy can enter through a window, the defensive strength of a castle had to justify it's construction and upkeep costs. It makes for instance little sense to make an outpost a stone castle if you have little hope in defending it. If your castle is on an island, or up a mountain, thick walls only take space, and wooden structures or thinner brick walls may be enough. Also, even wooden palisades, but also brick walls can sandwich a layer of dirt and gravel, which greatly increases its defensive strength. This was even valid up to the age of the starforts and e.g. Hohenzollern castle is a chateau within a fort. Thus, it has mostly thin walls and relies on its terrain as a defense. The starfort-like outer wall makes it however very defensible. Also, you can create many layers of defenses with thin walls for the same costs as for one thick stone wall. The question then becomes, if you can muster the manpower to defend a castle based on depth-defense?
    EDIT: I need to mention Shadiversity and his great video on wooden castles and his nice collaboration with Metatron.

    • @Ertwin123
      @Ertwin123 4 роки тому

      Also, castles pretty much became obsolete with the invention of gunpowder.

    • @edi9892
      @edi9892 4 роки тому +9

      @@Ertwin123 not really. Cannons were far rarer than handguns and it took quite a while that for castles to become obsolete. Castles high up on mountains, or on lakes were relatively safe from early cannons and wooden fortresses and starforts were used until APHE were invented.

    • @leonpeters-malone3054
      @leonpeters-malone3054 4 роки тому +4

      @@Ertwin123 Hardly. The original cannon came out fairly early on, 1400's odd in Europe. They were made with iron bands and had a removable breach.
      Sure, they weren't exactly the 32 pounders of later periods, they still went boom pretty good and could send some pretty scary shot down range.

    • @leonpeters-malone3054
      @leonpeters-malone3054 4 роки тому +5

      Sir, I must challenge some of your numbers and assertions here.
      I find that the castle was a pretty solid force multiplier. It helped give even a small number of defenders a pretty solid force multiplier. They could hold out for quite some time and while the traditional small keep could be little more than a tower, a few out buildings and a wall, manned properly, was quite the thorn to be overcome by an opposing army. That's not to say you had to have hundreds, a garrison of even as little as thirty could be quite hard to remove.
      I will concede that the reason for night attacks and the like was most likely as much to stress the limited number of defenders as it was to try and actually just plain, breach and enter the castle.
      I also seem to remember, think, that the cabin fever nature was used and plague was used as a weapon in the 1200's, 1300's to try and end the siege. Make the people so sick they could no longer fight.
      I'm thinking for the longest time, forts on a whole were wooden and that's going back to the Romans and Greeks. Permanent military structures like castles and later forts were very much about stamping area dominance. See Wales, on some level. So I'm going to have to check a few books here. Make sure I'm not confusing things.
      Castle logistics are a funny thing, in that you can keep a lot of the necessary war, conflict resources about, the food and water on the other hand. That made it harder to really argue on, about, for. You could have a lot of preserved foodstuffs ready, salted meats etc. That doesn't mean you can make it fresh and then it often became a waiting game, who had the better supplies, who could sit there for the longer term on the supplies they brought with them. I'd wager hunger and thirst decided more sieges that weapons.

    • @dans4323
      @dans4323 4 роки тому +2

      Wow, very interesting comment.
      I've never been to Burg Hohenzollern but I put it on my to-go list now. I wonder though which way it's geographic location was primarily meant to defend from, seeing that it is facing the Albtrauf in the south. Geographically it would make sense to defend from attacks from the north but then again its closest villages are in the north, the very people it should seem to defend.? Maybe it served as a place to draw back to, as a last resort? I definitely need to read up on it as it seems there were a few other castles, too directly north of the Albtrauf (Teck, Hohenneuffen).

  • @Obbsnja
    @Obbsnja 4 роки тому +56

    someone's gonna say is soo...
    ( *Deep Breath* )
    MACHICOLATIONS!!!!

  • @coreymetzker2521
    @coreymetzker2521 4 роки тому +17

    Shad offered the only information I didn’t already know about castles from playing Stronghold. I just didn’t know I knew it.
    Thank you Kyle!
    And thank you Shad! 😃

  • @ItsJoKeZ
    @ItsJoKeZ 4 роки тому +2

    you have quite a wonderful channel my friend. quite wonderful indeed. well editted, formatted, scripted and executed from start to cu- finish...finish. keep it up!

  • @metakillz3532
    @metakillz3532 4 роки тому +27

    The SECOND that I saw shad I knew the machiculations were coming 😂

  • @Mireaze
    @Mireaze 4 роки тому +233

    I feel like castles being "whimsical" is a very American thing.

    • @oliverdawes917
      @oliverdawes917 4 роки тому +28

      Imagine a certain fast food chain is to blame here...

    • @colethomas790
      @colethomas790 4 роки тому +6

      Not our fault that we Americans are capable of having independent thoughts.

    • @SupermanBlack1987
      @SupermanBlack1987 4 роки тому +11

      @@oliverdawes917 Are you hating White-Castle?! do you know what Harold and Kumar had to go through for those burgers.

    • @whoahanant
      @whoahanant 4 роки тому +40

      Probably because they don't exist here lol. I don't think a fast food chain makes it whimsical either.
      I think it's more so because of stories and pop culture. Majority of people probably don't care that the architecture is specific for their jobs as castles either.

    • @wolflordandy
      @wolflordandy 4 роки тому +12

      I was thinking this as watching it. But then, I've had school trips and stuff to castles since I was in Junior school. Any Americans here able to tell me - do you study the middle ages at all in history class? Or just start from the discovery/founding of USA?

  • @eh9618
    @eh9618 4 роки тому +27

    "put yourself at the bottom of these staircase, would it be easy to swing your dominant hand with a sword?"
    me: *laughs in southpaw*

    • @bepbep7418
      @bepbep7418 4 роки тому +8

      *laughs ambidextrously

    • @edwardteach3000
      @edwardteach3000 4 роки тому +3

      * Laughs in both of you probably have been burned as witches *. * Or at least forced to only use your right hand *

    • @bepbep7418
      @bepbep7418 4 роки тому +1

      @@edwardteach3000 well I'm a redhead, so I have no soul (apparently) burning me at the stake would just fuel the fire. 😂

  • @alexp6712
    @alexp6712 2 роки тому +8

    It's weird that he gets the scale wrong in his video representation of crenelations. They are cover, and do not stop at the knee. The merlons are head height, and the crenels between them are waist or chest height.

    • @RustyDust101
      @RustyDust101 Рік тому

      Or even higher. The crenellations were cut deep enough to allow fairly close shots at comfortable angles without leaning over. The machicolations' holes were also covered by wooden lids to prevent arrows or bolts from being fired up. The lids were removed only for the purpose of clearing the base of a wall, then replaced again.