Skizz just wanted to pop into the comments to say how PUMPED I am that you’re joining Hermitcraft!!! (I was screaming no joke) I knew it wasn’t an easy commitment for you, but I was so so hopeful that you could find a way to do what you really wanted to do! (Hurray for nothing stopping you!!!) Seeing it finally become a reality for you is so so exciting! (I bet impulse is ecstatic!!) I’m so ready to see my favorite best friend duo playing Hermitcraft together 💙💛 I love you guys so much!! Thank you for this podcast, and for sharing a piece of yourselves with us. 2024 is looking so bright 😁😁😁
I was hoping beyond hope that Skizz would join this season. My dreams have come true. Him and Joel are about to create some next level Chaos and I can't wait!
As a high school teacher, this episode hits. The way that males vs females, especially teenagers, deal with anger is so different and has to be approached in a much different way. Don't even get me started on the amount of times my own anger is tested throughout the day😂
I have so much respect for highschool teachers, your work is so important. I just started with university this year, but i have a lot of good memories because of great teachers. Its frustrating too see teachers getting disrespected often. Lots of thanks to you and your work
i am a student who is semi-self aware and i feel bad for teachers my 7th grade she has bullied by asshole kids (please mind my french ma'am) she told her 1-2 period class (the one i was in) that she cried because of 8th-9th because of the kids but she got semi lucky the teacher who was across the hall 'pushed' a kid back when he was trying to leave for break when the whole class was banned from break because of the class where loud and didn't follow the rules and the princble was called to handle the class a few times i feel bad for him and all teachers
hey, im a teenager who absolutely loves your podcast. i find it comforting and funny and have definitely learned some valuable life lessons/advice from you guys and i just wanna say thank you. ❤
I learned a useful thing during Anger Management class - When you feel yourself getting frustrated, angry, or really upset, just stop and ask yourself "Will this matter at 5:00 tomorrow afternoon?" Most of the time the answer is - No, it won't matter, so I can just let it go. If it is something that will matter, then ask yourself "Is this something I can fix or deal with or change?" Many times, the answer is - No, there is nothing i can do to change it, so just let it go. If there is something you can do, then ask yourself "Ok, what are my options here? Which direction do I need to go to fix this?" That way you are really only focused on the few things that will matter, that you can make changes to, and have options for that change. Everything else, just let it go
Around 12:00 for reference: It's not mostly a male reaction to want to break things in anger. It's an everyone reaction. The difference is that most women control that reaction better than men, however I do not. I cannot tell you how many plates, (full) soda cans, and other various items I have destroyed because I was so angry that I couldn't control my impulses anymore. It's HARD to control your impulsive reactions when angry. Very hard. As James Butler says, "anger makes you stupid", which is to say your critical thinking and logical decision making abilities disappear when angry. You make stupid decisions when your brain can't process logically.
If women do a better job at controlling it, then could that mean that men have a stronger urge due to male hormones / psyche and are thus less likely to resist? Or, perhaps men are more likely to reprocess complex emotions into anger whereas women are more likely to repress them altogether. Perhaps as a result of societal norms and the different ways in which men and women are taught to deal with their problems?
@@PiegyYTube Nah, its just more acceptable for men to have these reactions. I remember being younger and being berated by my parents and therapist for saying I needed PHYSICAL outlets for my anger. They kept insisting writing and drawing etc HAD to be enough for me, no matter how much I insisted that it wasn't cutting it. My brother though? Never was a problem for him to need a physical outlet. Stories like that are extremely common. And when you spend your entire life being berated for how you process your emotions, you either get really good at masking them, or you get even more messed up. I ended up in the later and I still laugh/cry inside when therapists say thing like "You can BURN letters to people you feel angry toward, it will help you process your emotions!" Oh, you mean that thing my parents said over and over was over the top and ridiculous? Its REALLY hard to make my brain accept that these sort of things are ok when I spent my entire life being berated for showing any visible emotions lol.
Yeah from what ive seen man are commonly mostly expected to be apathetic or angry, while woman are expected to be overly emotional and whiny, so even unintentionally people are influenced towards those@@PiegyYTube
Exactly! Women are taught from a young age that we have to be quiet and our anger can’t be explosive. It has to be channeled through art or tears only, but men aren’t stereotypically taught that and are given the violent option. I throw pillows and blankets around my apartment all the time since it’s the least damaging thing I can do and I’m always afraid of my cat getting hurt when I need to scream. Otherwise I’d be in the hundreds of glasses broken
I have not read all of the 140+ comments at this time so someone might have said it but in reference to @ 11:53 the reason that breaking things is an instinct is because when we have strong emotion we are like a tea kettle building up steam. When we have too much anger we have to release it so it does not do internal harm. We focus that into an object and something will give out, object or us. We eventually learn not to use an object that is stronger than us. Once that release of emotion is done we are back in balance. I also feel that a small part is to exert control over our environment. Usually we get angry due to circumstances out of our control and we have a need to maintain control over things in our lives.
I never learned how to process anger when I was young. I just start crying instead of fighting. Most people think it's a sign of weakness. But processing anger is a tricky thing to some and just a learning curve.
This is exactly me. My entire childhood what's this about something really weird happened when I stopped taking my anxiety and depression meds under the guidance of my therapist. Now I actually have a bomb and I don't know how to handle it
Whenever I read comments like these I always question their genuinity but this is real I had a very big fight with my girlfriend recently, and we've always fought over really stupid things because I've realized I'm one of those short fuse big bomb people, but it's a realization that I've never really done much to improve on or just came up with masochistic solutions of to hide. She told me she wanted to break up with me recently and even then I lashed out until I calmed down and saw where she's coming from. God bless her for tolerating with my anger issues for so long. I came to this podcast intentionally wanting to learn more about anger management, it's mostly stuff I've already known but I think hearing 2 grown married mature men talk about it and the whole shell shock of the break up really taught me to be more aware when Im angry Thank you for making this podcast and shining some hindsight on this topic
Hi, Impulse and Skizzleman! I just want to tell you guys that this podcast really struck a chord with me. I struggle with anger issues, and hearing you two speak so openly and honestly was really encouraging for me. I want to be better, but hearing you two try to be better really makes me want to try even harder. Thank you so much!
Thank you. When I started listening, I was angry at some situations that came up at the office. By the time the pod cast was over, I had relaxed and realized I had had a bad interaction with one of my employees. I subsequently called him and apologized for my reaction. Long time fan and appreciate the content.
You guys' vulnerability and honesty about these moments you're not proud of are so encouraging to me, who has always been SUPER hard on myself. To know that everyone experiences these things, everyone can look back at an action of the past and be like "oof! Let me not do that again." -- that means a LOT to me as I work on this big time of change for myself.
Similar story to the Windshield Thing skizz talked about, though this wasn't born from anger- a year ago, I (being very late to class on a cold friday night without my jacket) REALLY wanted to get inside this building where the class was being held. However, things didn't work out that way: -Someone had accidentally locked the door -There was no doorbell -Because this building was for MUSIC lessons, no one heard me knocking for several minutes. -The door was paned glass; imagine a door with many, many tiny windows in it -The building, having recently been repaired, did NOT in fact have reinforced glass. Also, because I have ADHD and tend to think about things AFTER doing them, my immediate thought: "kick the door instead, it'll make a louder knock." More disastrous happenings! Because I am a theater kid at heart, I RAN at the door. Foot first, head-on. I'd been intending to hit the wooden panes, but you know something? Those are a LOT smaller than you'd think they are. After I accidentally crashed through the glass, I ended up in the ER for six hours, with a doctor's note excusing me from PE for three months, and, well... let's just say I was surprised that they'd managed to get the bloodstain out when I came back to class the next week. Oh, and also, my insurance company is suing the school. Moral of the story? DO NOT attempt to hit glass, EVER, and if you absolutely HAVE to, THINK IT THROUGH. Find a way to do it as safely as possible.
This is such an interesting podcast. I don’t know much about Impulse or Skizz personally, all I’ve seen were your Phasmo content before realizing that MC were both your main video contents. I’ve always thought of Impulse as a gentle giant; teaching Gem the ropes on how to play both golf irl and Phasmo and how tenderly he talks about his kids and wife. I could never imagine that you had anger management issues like my actual dad. The vulnerability you’ve shown was so transparent I had to pause the video for a while. Hearing you talk about your family so protectively about the car cutting into your lane made me realize how human you are and the extent any father would do for the people he loves. Seeing Skizz too being the ‘voice of reason’ is such an interesting side to see for me. Your leadership really glows and you’re such a role model to the viewers here. Genuinely wish I had a father like you. Thanks for sharing your life, emotions and story to all of us so openly! Really appreciate both your vulnerability and willingness to talk about topics like this!
"Am I actually forgiving or am I just letting it go?" That's the biggest thing that I've been realizing lately. I am big on forgiveness and unconditional love, but sometimes resentments do still form and it's difficult to manage when you're not giving yourself a healthy space to express real grievances. I stopped journaling for about a year and that's been horrible for me. I had a lot of reasons to be upset in that year, which is why I stopped journaling lol because I always felt like I was PO'd at something or complaining.. well, apparently I needed to be pissed and complain about it to myself because ... Anger: an emotion characterized by antagonism towards something/someone ... La la la ... "Anger can be a good thing, used as a way to express negative feelings or motivate you to find SOLUTIONS to problems" "Solutions" is my word of the year so I love that it's in the definition of anger lol
Journaling is a good tool to help define things, but that’s just the start. Journaling should also include the thoughtfulness toward solutions, too. Very often, that step is left out when journaling, as a concept, is introduced, which is sad. Glad you’re finding yourself moving that way.❤
One thing I learned counseling at risk youth was: Act, don't react. Reacting usually doesn't involve higher critical thinking, but when you think through the situation you can act accordingly.
This was a great podcast to listen to. Been struggling with my anger for so many years and it's nice to read the comments and hear impulse's and skizz's thoughts and stories. Super excited for skizz being on hermit craft. But I just want to say thanks to impulse and skizz for making these podcasts. I listen to these every Saturday morning when I'm on my way to work. It's made the sacrifice of my Saturday's, that I made for my family so much more bearable. I hold off listening to these till Saturday. So I appreciate what you guys do. Keep up the good work! 😊
This was a great episode, on so many levels. Just a comment on the "don't go to bed angry" thing. I'm no expert, but in my experience and I'm talking with professionals, it's not saying you need to resolve the conflict, it's that you need to resolve your emotional disposition to your partner. It's not "don't go to bed upset about something" or disagreement, it's "don't gob to bed mad AT your partner". I've struggled with anger for a long time and so has my wife in a very different way. The 2 most important things I've learned are: 1) when you feel angry, try to think about why, then find the why under that why until you find yourself evaluating your emotions logically. It's incredible how messed up your brain chemistry and reasoning get when you're mad and the only thing that helps is forcing your brain to use a different space. 2) separate your emotions about the topic or situation from your emotions about the person. While not always the case, being in a disagreement or being angry is often incorrectly associated with or targeted at a person who doesn't deserve that. It's not them as a human being, it's their opinion/perception/understanding that you have a problem with, and even then the anger is the result of a personal bias or experience. Keep it clear both with yourself and others that the emotions are not how you feel about _them_ but how you feel about the subject/event and whatever connections it might have to other experiences for you. Anyway, enough rambling, hopefully this helps someone.
I have two things to say. One: I have never seen someone be more convincingly angry than the person who was originally, genuinely angry. I don't know if I should say, "Good job, Skizz!" or "What is Bill O'Reilly?" Two: Anger truly is a gift. For a long time, I couldn't even feel my anger until I totally blew up. It was rare, but it would surprise and terrify me, even more than the people who experienced it from the outside. After years of therapy, I started to feel my anger sooner, and I didn't like it. My therapist at the time told me it was a good sign, as someone who had been severely depressed for a long time. I didn't understand what she meant. She told me anger is a secondary emotion, one that is generated in defense of some other, more vulnerable emotion, like fear or rejection. She said the fact that I was getting angry at people who would mistreat me was a sign that I saw myself as someone worth defending, which was and still is massive progress. Anyway...I'm gonna go cry now. Have a good day!
I used to save my broken floppy disks. Those of us who've lived long enough remember that they just stopped working suddenly, it was just the usual wear and tear. Sometimes you could save a broken disk, but that took time and effort. Then one day I got so angry I felt the need to break something, and I suddenly decided that a couple of disks could get sacrificed to calm me down, and damn... Floppy disks turns out are great for breaking. Satisfyingly crunchy, bits and bobs flying, deformation and guts spilling out. And minimal clean up! I even got my dad hooked. He was having a hard time with repairing the car and he came in seething from the garage, radiating "don't talk to me"-vibes. I handed him a floppy and just told him "break this, it'll feel better", and I found him going through my stash a couple of times after that.
SKIZZ IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! I know you have so much going on and i’m so grateful for you putting your time into hermitcraft! i know you’ll do amazing! much love
There is a 'trait' in my family where when we get angry we see red. Literally! The red will blind us to anything else and we just rage. This happened when I was a Junior in High School. The one and only time I had it happen to me, I almost killed my brother standing across from me. He was the source of my rage. When I was on the downward stroke to hit him with an antique, lead-weighted piano lamp, I snapped out of it and swung away from him. In that moment, I was never so frightened in my life in the power of anger and how it can control us. Ever since then, when I start to feel that rage. I walk away and isolate myself. I give myself a 3-day break to process whatever may have triggered me and work through it. Now that I am a retired senior citizen, this has saved my neck so many times throughout my lifetime. So much so, that I've been described as having "the patience of Jobe". It's really not worth killing someone in that fit of rage. I owe it to my father who taught me this because he also "saw red". It's a paternal trait in my family. Nothing is worth that rage.
Wow! To know that seeing red is actually a real experience is scary. Thank goodness your father taught you well! ❤ And thank you, too, for sharing. Maybe this info will help someone else. ❤
the story of Impulse breaking the glass jars reminds me of how I learned that a good way to release anger if you have a desire to break things is using ice, it can shatter like glass but is absolutely harmless, the ice will melt at some point and disappear, with the anger gone! also fun fact, the main reason people have the urge/desire to break things is cause it can release that built up tension & (usually) negative emotion via that physical action which can often feel really good when seeing the broken thing(s)
One of my favorite trite phrases is "pick your battles." Sometimes you have to address something to keep it from festering, but often it is SO much better to just acknowledge that it's not a battle worth your energy and just let it go. Great podcast!
I dont think ive ever heard Skizz sound this mad and its scary, i cant imagine how scary he is when actually mad. Edit: it was funny, but imagining it was real made it scary 😂
Oh, Skizz, i feel that! I've been the only one who spoke up. Other people felt the same but were too afraid to step up and say so. In the end all you can do is say your piece, communicate with those in charge of making decisions, have facts behind your feelings, and then let it be. Its not on you and people have the right to be wrong. It is hard to let something fail and even harder not to say i told you so when it does. Some of us are better at seeing potential barriers and try to mitigate damage before it happens. Unfortunately it gets labled as resistance to change even when it's not. Hang in there. You did what you could. Deep breaths
Wow, the talk about road rage and holding in your fuses around your kids is literally so heartwarming. You two are amazing parents and I really hope you know that and I hope it stays that way.
I enjoy seeing the vulnerability and honesty from you two! As a younger person I can say that it helps a lot being able to listen to different perspectives from people I look up to. The idea of simply slowing down just a little bit in this fast paced world would help many of us with anger. Enjoyed the podcast! Keep up the great work!!
Impulse, with the mayonnaise jars; at least you had the mental capacity to bring the jars outside instead of smashing them in the kitchen. I thought that was the most adult part of this story.
Love the location-a dark background is easier to watch on screen than the white was. I appreciate the effort put into not swearing (even “soft” ones) so I can listen when my kids are around. Through this whole discussion I was was thinking how amazing you are that as grown men you didn’t share stories where you took out your anger physically on another person. I hope all your listeners know that it is NEVER okay. Protecting one’s family is an admirable attribute-I hope we are never condemned by our thoughts associated with that because the momma bear in me has planned out many a demise! 😅 See ya next week!
Finishing this up today, and just wanted to touch on the "don't go to bed angry" saying. My grandma told it to me and it was said with the intent that you never know when your time here is over, and you might not get that chance to make it right.
Such a valuable conversation. Thank you! I am reminded of the saying "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
I was a VERY angry teenager. My bedroom had holes in the walls all over, and my parents didn’t care, or even show an ounce of understanding. Luckily I’ve grown a lot and now I have a near endless fuse, and the bomb that does go off is small. I show frustration with a situation, but that’s the most of it now. Once I got married and realized my energy was wearing off on those around me, I decided I needed to chill out. I still get angry at times, but now I share my grievances, and talk them out amicably. All it really took for me was someone to show me that my feelings were something that mattered. My wife has been the best thing to happen to me, bar-none. I’ve also channeled my anger into tinkering.
Seriously, great acting. I had no idea you had that. Anger is how I learned what being a parent meant. My first child had difficulties during birth and had to stay at the hospital for a while. The third night, a nurse putting self-promotion above my wife and child's well-being made my wife cry. Without my brain being part of the situation, I found that I had physically placed my body between the nurse and my family, and ordered her out of the room. I didn't shout, I didn't threaten, but it was clear how angry I was. The other nurse in the room practically yanked her out of the NICU, and I explained to my wife that they were going to take me out of the hospital and she'd have to go through the rest of this alone, but I had to be sure she wasn't going to be attacked again. Thankfully, the duty nurse came in a few minutes later and explained that it wasn't the first time it happened, and the nurse was being taken off the NICU rotation. I remember thinking, "Oh, so this is what being a father means. It's putting myself between my family and whatever is threatening them."
I think you guys make a good point about bottling up anger, but not actually resolving it. I often am seen as slow to get mad by other people, but what I often do is just not lash out immediately, but just ruminate about it for several days after, which leads to a blow up later down the line. Perhaps learning to be able to be honest about anger in a firm, yet controlled way, is important, not just covering things up. That was a good episode, thanks for the good advice and stories (they were pretty funny haha).
The desire to break things stems from the violent tendency that Anger can bubble up. As destruction helps to quickly dispel that sudden surge in emotions. Being a female, when I was younger and I would get angry, I would have strong urges to throw things. Either across the room or slamming it into the floor, and that motion is like throwing the anger out. Its a bad way to handle things, and thankfully I've manage to conquer that in myself.
This podcast actually comes at a perfect time for me. Ever since ive come off my medications im having to re learn how to feel and express emotions. Expecially anger. Before it was like I would get rid of the point of anger but I couldn't cross the line frustrated that I would have an emotional Outburst of Tears instead. So imagine the shock to myself my boyfriend and our roommate when I had a visceral genuinely mad reaction to something for the first time in 5 years
One of the funnyest thing is i have a room with a ceiling fan and every time somebody goes into that room one of the first things I say is "you have a weird ceiling fan"😂😂
Thankyou so much for this podcast! I just sent this podcast to my husband because he is learning how to deal wit his emotions after years of emotional abuse from his family growing up. Hoping some of what you say can help him in this journey. For anyone concerned, he is never abusive to me because we talk about his feelings all the time. But this advice can be helpful for him when he's at work.
I too had to deal with anger at my parents,my therapist said to me 'You are not your parents,what you do into the future is all up to you well done for sharing talking to each other is the way to keep a happy relationship..Good luck in the future.
Impulse and Skizzleman, I am here to inform you that you two are my favourite of the life series and hermitcraft because of the way you both are so seemingly in touch with your lives and families. It makes me very happy to see that both of you care about your families unlike so many people out there. It makes me feel very emotional to hear that you both get very concerned when your families are in danger or at risk, because the amount of bad things the world is going through right now is very scary and unimaginable. Also, to finish it off, I am very grateful and thankful that you have made this podcast. Thank you for working as hard as you do.:)
It’s so wierd how I’ve been going through these anger issues of blowing up in the moment and I realized I do this, but hearing them talk about it and giving it time it makes so much sense
3:50 Impulse, I was afraid to click on this video because I fear my anger. I grew up in a violent environment and my anger kept me alive but I also hurt the ones I love and when I realized this I did a 180 switch and got my temper under control. Since then, hurting and scaring those around me with my anger is my greatest fear. You guys talking about it is super healthy and super good we also need more men specifically talking about this stuff. Thanks for speaking up!
As a new adult who's totally lost on what to do with my life, listening to the podcast has really helped me keep myself on track. Starting a new job today, wish me luck!
🍀 All the luck to you! The thing that helped me most was a budget book. The thing that helps my niece most is a planner. Bottom line for both is: document commitments, so you don’t accidentally over-commit. It’s the over-commitment that gets one in stressful situations. 🍀 All the best to you! ❤
Thank you for this. I’m dealing with anger this week. It’s toward myself. I made decisions over 2 years and just discovered they were unintentionally harmful to my furry buddy and I am struggling with hating myself for not seeing how bad it was sooner. Someone said 3 vets didn’t know what was wrong either and I should forgive myself but I can’t seem to stop being furious with myself.
SKIZZ!! So many people were hoping you would be the newest hermit for season 10. Including me, ZITS fans will keep waiting patiently for ZIT to have its final member someday. Meanwhile, we all will keep enjoying the laughs we get from the podcast, streams/vods, zits Olympics, and any other content that might come our way. I was in your stream when you said something about taking a break from work, I hope you enjoy it to the fullest. This is by mean hate towards the new hermits joining, i can't wait to see what they bring to the community, and beyond excited for them. (Edit all the theories I saw about hermitcraft 10 said it was going to be a new guy and girl and at the time Joel already announced he was joining so I didn't think skizz was going to join)
This was a great podcast. I can relate to wanting to break things (as a woman), but the thought of having to clean it up after stops me. For dog beds, I recommend Costco. They usually have large beds for only about $50. My dog used to destroy the smaller ones, but he loves the big ones from Costco, assuming we cut the tags off first.
Even when we calm down, we should always talk about what bothered us. Festering is so subtle. Communication is always key! ❤ So excited for this episode.
I'm a girl and my first instinct is to break things when I'm mad. I've gotten better at it, but I've broken many things including my clarinet, my moms necklace, my and phone (they've all been fixed) I definitely get it from my dad who rarely gets really mad, but when he does its bad
So listening to the jar story. I have, for as long as i can remember, always had anger issues. The turning point line i was told was "Anger isn't bad. Anger is energy. Learn how to use that energy." From there, i remind myself "i am a furnace, not a bonfire".
Thinking about anger in my own life and looking back makes me realise just how much I've grown. I used to be a *really* loud crier. I'd show I was angry by screaming and crying my head off when I was a kid. That continued probably into my double-digit years. One day, I just decided to stop. I've never scream-cried since. (Not counting the time[s] I couldn't breathe and thus made more noise in my attempts to keep surviving. lol) More recently, after I got my driver's licence, I'd get upset and stressed out by other drivers. I'd have stressful dreams about driving and being unable to hit the brakes. Everything built up to a boiling point, and I started taking my anger out on the car while I drove. I'd stomp on the break a little too hard or swerve around others, sometimes weaving just a bit before I calmed down. One night, I was driving my mum home, and I was ticked off for some reason. There was a stop sign. I was heading towards it a bit too fast, which was a bad idea all around since we were on a tiny backroad. We got to the sign, and I stomped on the brake harder than I'd meant to... so Mum made me put the car in park and switch with her. I was beyond upset. But that was a defining moment; I don't think I've road-raged since. Anger and our response to it can define who we become. I was a short-fused giant bomb of a kid. Now, I like to think I'm a more level-headed, long-fused little bomb of an adult. A lot of advice I've worked into my life came from you guys. From the bottom of me li'l heart... thank you. God bless ye both. 🤗💖
Thank you both for another great episode today! And also... CONGRATS SKIZZ!!! I was worried this past week while you were "dark" -- you've mentioned work has been rough, and I was hoping you were staying quiet for good reasons and not because something was amiss in your personal life. I hope you've been having an absolute BLAST on the Hermitcraft server with everyone!!! Happy Season 10 to you both!
I want to thank you both. Not just for the advice and entertainment that you've both provided but also something else. Inspiration. I made a UA-cam video calling out who would be joining the HermitCraft server. It wasn't something I planned, it wasn't something I was interested in doing, but I felt for some reason like it was an ode to you Skizz. I felt like you deserved it and you earned it and my god did my single video sky rocket. Typically I get between 50 and 60 views on average. The last I checked it was a 2.8k views and still going up. I want to thank you both and also thank your podcast, especially the episode "what is stopping you" I feel invigorated and want to push myself to do what I want to do a not what I think everyone wants to see. Thank you both. 🤘
As a female, I 100% feel the need to break something or get physical when I am super angry. Unfortunately, before the need to break things, my body's first reaction is to cry. I wonder if that is my body's way of releasing the pressure before it gets out of hand 😂 Best song to rage to is definitely Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit, though. There are some places that you can pay to just destroy things in a safe environment, btw. They just give you a bat and put you in a room, and you go crazying breaking things, its great!
Laughing at the mental image of preteen Impulse smashing mayonnaise jars while swearing! The point about taking time is so true. I got frustrated easily as a kid, still not perfect. Even now tend to let all the small frustrating things pile up. Lately whenever something doesn't go well and I can feel the blood pressure start to rise I often tell myself "There's no way I'm going to care about this in 10 minutes." For those small things, this true 99% true. BTW, I'm going to use Skizz's ceiling fan analogy.
Skizz, it's scary how similar our work situations are right now. Like right down to the letter. I am trying to convince my organization, but no one will listen. It is SO hard and I sympathize SO much with you!
What Impulse said about anger related to danger to his family reminded me of a story I wish to share with you. Last year I was walking home from a concert with my dad when a couple of boys started loudly discriminating me for being trans. My dad is one of those with a short fuse and big bomb, so it didn't take long for him to flip. It started with shouting, then it broke out into a physical fight. I called the cops, cause it was getting out of hand and discriminating over gender identity is illegal and punishable in Norway. The police didn't get the guys as they fled the scene before they left, but they stayed with us and even drove us home. My dad broke down crying to the police officer saying he wasn't sure what he did was right. Do you know what the officer said? He said he can't condone to voilence, but he did not believe it was wrong to protect someone you love. It is true that if he had calmed down before handling the situation, it wouldn't have escalated that badly, but there is something oddly comforting about knowing he cares enough about my safety to wanting to put his life and reputation (he's in politics) at risk in order to protect me.
Wow, bravo to you AND your dad. You both did things to protect the other in that situation. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, but wow, am I happy to hear you have such caring, supportive parents to help you through tough times. Wishing you all the best!
The ceiling fan theory is quite on point and does sounds like it's a real saying lol Me and my gf were looking at the curtains we just had installed and noticed how it's slightly bent because the company might not have measured and installed it perfectly. We were so invested in getting it fixed since we have just bought and installed it, but after 2 appointments on getting it fixed having been postponed because we had urgent business coming up at both times, we just stopped caring and forgot about it and it has been a year since. Sometimes you just get tunnel visioned into something because it's what occupying your mind at the moment but genuinely nobody would notice or care about how one side of the curtain is one centimeter lower than the other.
I got really uncomfortable at the start - great job, Skizz! I am from a family who was never allowed to display anger, so zero skills learned in handling it. I didn't ever think I had personally experienced that emotion. Little did I know...
I cannot stop seeing young Impulse, YoungPulse if you will, storming out the back door with two glass mayonnaise jars in hand 😂 just FUMING and mumbling to himself to the concrete pad 😂😂 and just YEETING these things to the ground! 🤣🤣 You two are increible
One of the best things I learned from a coach I had was the 24 hour rule. If you’re angry about something then give it 24 hours - if you are still upset then talk about it. They wouldn’t discuss anything that happened until 24 hours had passed and I think it gave everyone space to react correctly to their anger
I've been surviving out of sheer spite and rage the past 8 years past my expiration date. no time to be afraid or sad, use that rage to fight the change you want to see. (Not to use it to be a Karen, that's my only warning on that, I don't try to use it against other people, but I do use it against a faulty system that is keeping people down). thought process has been, "you can survive and get through anything if you're angry enough." It's how I've been debt free, gone to college (paid out of pocket), and protected people I care about.
I really needed this today. Should have watched this before my emotions blew up in my face. (Thankfully short-lived). Everything in this podcast is spot on. Thanks fellas ❤
Oh boy, this episode couldn't have came at a better time. I've had a crazy past two weeks. I'm a senior in high school, who's been dealing with some medical issues for a very long time now. It's impacted my attendance, and it seems like EVERONE is against me. The anger has just been boiling and boiling. I can't say how many times I've cried or shouted these past few days. It's all so overwhelming, and I've turned into that short fuse, big bomb guy because of it. I need to step back and work at this because that's not the kind of man I want to be. I think you guys said some really good and important things today, and I really thank you for it. Thank you two so much. P.S. See you tomorrow on Hermitcraft!
Hello! I’ve commented a couple times on this channel now and as a teen, wanted to say that these definitely leave an impact (or imprint if you will) on younger audiences! A lot of the advice I’ve seen on this podcast is stuff I take, particularly a technique skizz mentioned when he said that his negative emotions were some sort of disgusting entity, and that he’d throw it away. ‘What’s stopping you’ also got me more into studying psychology and music production and working harder at school! Also I VERY MUCH needed the podcast since I ended up getting mad- (ironically and admittedly it was the fact I got interrupted whilst watching this podcast-) Now that it’s the end of the day and I’m finishing watching it now, that wasn’t too good a reason to get annoyed over it… and even if other things may have lit my slightly short fuse, you guys are right in saying it won’t matter too much when you get older. Also congrats to Skizz for becoming a hermit! As you’ve probably seen in the comments we’re all anticipating it! Cheers to another great podcast! 💛💙
I love the topic and the stories you guys related. Skizz mentioned the fan situation and I call that situation momentary obsession. Caught in the moment of a decision or a reaction that can lead to alot of issues. I think (depending on the circumstances) we all have anger issues but it boils down to how we react to it in the moment. Great job and thanks for sharing.
I work for a very large manufacturer company. For me I have supervised for over 10yrs . I was given the opportunity to take the manager roll. The best advise my boss ever gave me was “sleep on it”. If you are still that passionate tomorrow, then peruse it.
I feel Skizz sooo much on the work aspect. I've tried not carrying as much, it's hard to break when it takes up so much of your day. But I'm thinking it might just be time to move on. I hope he finds some peace though, I know it's not easy to just jump into something new.
I work with pre-k kids, and emotional regulation is a hard skill to learn! We spend so much time on emotions because we want to have a healthy relationship with them. It's ok to be mad, but it's not ok to hit someone when you're mad. It's ok to be mad, but it's not ok to throw chairs (yes, this happens) when you're mad. Every emotion can be used to fuel creativity just like every emotion can be used to destroy creativity.
While as a woman, I too often feel the desire to break things in anger, I know for a fact that I will always be the one to clean it up, so I almost never do. Men typically walk away and leave after an explosion of anger and aren't required to clean up whatever they break, so they don't resist the urge as much (but very glad the elder Mrs. Impulse made little Impulse clean up his mayo jars!).
Reminds me of a quote about a man who opened up a rage room and expected to get a bunch of guys comeing in to use it. But it was mostly girls/ women "and they come in packs"
I FOUND THE QUOTE ""We thought it would be guys, [but it's] rarely happened," Smash Brothers co-founder Johnny Li says. "It's mainly girls. They come in packs.""
I really appreciate this podcast. You guys "on paper" would be awesome friends to have. You put out an episode that I feel like is the best episode ever but you do it continuously. It's hard not to laugh at skizz dropping the f bomb under his breath or impulse's murderous intent. You guys are as real as it gets and we love you for it. Congratulations Skizz on your induction to hermitcraft!
That was an AMAZING bit skizzaroosies 😭 I needed that laugh! I really needed Imp and Skizz this week. My birthday was monday 1/29 and I really wanted a birthday youyo ❤ but I lost someone very special to me the next day.. my heart has been heavy. Thank you guys for always helping lighten the load ❤
That intro both confused and scared me, Skizz you are a great actor
Same 😂 I didnt know the context either lol
"There's too many mayonnaise jars!" Amazing😂
Bahaha, that Bill O'Reilly bit was a great gag. Skizz nailed it! 😂
It's genuinely perfection.
Skizz just wanted to pop into the comments to say how PUMPED I am that you’re joining Hermitcraft!!! (I was screaming no joke)
I knew it wasn’t an easy commitment for you, but I was so so hopeful that you could find a way to do what you really wanted to do! (Hurray for nothing stopping you!!!) Seeing it finally become a reality for you is so so exciting! (I bet impulse is ecstatic!!) I’m so ready to see my favorite best friend duo playing Hermitcraft together 💙💛 I love you guys so much!! Thank you for this podcast, and for sharing a piece of yourselves with us. 2024 is looking so bright 😁😁😁
I was hoping beyond hope that Skizz would join this season.
My dreams have come true.
Him and Joel are about to create some next level Chaos and I can't wait!
Wait how did you find out?
Tell me now
Twitter
@@FakeAccount-vw9gi Its been out. I think it started on twitter. Been verified.
I had no idea the intro was a reference to something but angry Skizz had me genuinely scared for a sec. Amazing acting!
I have a friend who says "Never make decisions under the influence of alcohol, anger or guilt"
I would add “time crunch” to that list, especially if it’s an arbitrary time crunch. “Get it before it’s gone!” can just go be gone.
As a high school teacher, this episode hits. The way that males vs females, especially teenagers, deal with anger is so different and has to be approached in a much different way.
Don't even get me started on the amount of times my own anger is tested throughout the day😂
I have so much respect for highschool teachers, your work is so important. I just started with university this year, but i have a lot of good memories because of great teachers. Its frustrating too see teachers getting disrespected often. Lots of thanks to you and your work
i am a student who is semi-self aware and i feel bad for teachers my 7th grade she has bullied by asshole kids (please mind my french ma'am) she told her 1-2 period class (the one i was in) that she cried because of 8th-9th because of the kids but she got semi lucky the teacher who was across the hall 'pushed' a kid back when he was trying to leave for break when the whole class was banned from break because of the class where loud and didn't follow the rules and the princble was called to handle the class a few times i feel bad for him and all teachers
I’m an eighth grade middle school teacher. I stand with you in Solidarity.
hey, im a teenager who absolutely loves your podcast. i find it comforting and funny and have definitely learned some valuable life lessons/advice from you guys and i just wanna say thank you. ❤
same here!
I am thirding this! Teenager, made me feel human by this episode
Same, this podcast is so comforting and I feel like I learn so much!!
I learned a useful thing during Anger Management class - When you feel yourself getting frustrated, angry, or really upset, just stop and ask yourself "Will this matter at 5:00 tomorrow afternoon?" Most of the time the answer is - No, it won't matter, so I can just let it go. If it is something that will matter, then ask yourself "Is this something I can fix or deal with or change?" Many times, the answer is - No, there is nothing i can do to change it, so just let it go. If there is something you can do, then ask yourself "Ok, what are my options here? Which direction do I need to go to fix this?" That way you are really only focused on the few things that will matter, that you can make changes to, and have options for that change. Everything else, just let it go
Thanks for this tip. It might help me later whenever I am angry, hopefully it helps you too.
That is truly wonderful
Around 12:00 for reference: It's not mostly a male reaction to want to break things in anger. It's an everyone reaction. The difference is that most women control that reaction better than men, however I do not. I cannot tell you how many plates, (full) soda cans, and other various items I have destroyed because I was so angry that I couldn't control my impulses anymore.
It's HARD to control your impulsive reactions when angry. Very hard. As James Butler says, "anger makes you stupid", which is to say your critical thinking and logical decision making abilities disappear when angry. You make stupid decisions when your brain can't process logically.
If women do a better job at controlling it, then could that mean that men have a stronger urge due to male hormones / psyche and are thus less likely to resist?
Or, perhaps men are more likely to reprocess complex emotions into anger whereas women are more likely to repress them altogether. Perhaps as a result of societal norms and the different ways in which men and women are taught to deal with their problems?
@@PiegyYTube Nah, its just more acceptable for men to have these reactions. I remember being younger and being berated by my parents and therapist for saying I needed PHYSICAL outlets for my anger. They kept insisting writing and drawing etc HAD to be enough for me, no matter how much I insisted that it wasn't cutting it. My brother though? Never was a problem for him to need a physical outlet.
Stories like that are extremely common. And when you spend your entire life being berated for how you process your emotions, you either get really good at masking them, or you get even more messed up. I ended up in the later and I still laugh/cry inside when therapists say thing like "You can BURN letters to people you feel angry toward, it will help you process your emotions!" Oh, you mean that thing my parents said over and over was over the top and ridiculous? Its REALLY hard to make my brain accept that these sort of things are ok when I spent my entire life being berated for showing any visible emotions lol.
Yeah from what ive seen man are commonly mostly expected to be apathetic or angry, while woman are expected to be overly emotional and whiny, so even unintentionally people are influenced towards those@@PiegyYTube
I'm female and have wrecked a cell phone, a door, 2 windows and a car bumper. Not proud. Just saying I agree. It's not a male-owned situation
Exactly! Women are taught from a young age that we have to be quiet and our anger can’t be explosive. It has to be channeled through art or tears only, but men aren’t stereotypically taught that and are given the violent option. I throw pillows and blankets around my apartment all the time since it’s the least damaging thing I can do and I’m always afraid of my cat getting hurt when I need to scream. Otherwise I’d be in the hundreds of glasses broken
I have not read all of the 140+ comments at this time so someone might have said it but in reference to @ 11:53 the reason that breaking things is an instinct is because when we have strong emotion we are like a tea kettle building up steam. When we have too much anger we have to release it so it does not do internal harm. We focus that into an object and something will give out, object or us. We eventually learn not to use an object that is stronger than us. Once that release of emotion is done we are back in balance.
I also feel that a small part is to exert control over our environment. Usually we get angry due to circumstances out of our control and we have a need to maintain control over things in our lives.
I never learned how to process anger when I was young. I just start crying instead of fighting. Most people think it's a sign of weakness. But processing anger is a tricky thing to some and just a learning curve.
This is exactly me. My entire childhood what's this about something really weird happened when I stopped taking my anxiety and depression meds under the guidance of my therapist. Now I actually have a bomb and I don't know how to handle it
Whenever I read comments like these I always question their genuinity but this is real
I had a very big fight with my girlfriend recently, and we've always fought over really stupid things because I've realized I'm one of those short fuse big bomb people, but it's a realization that I've never really done much to improve on or just came up with masochistic solutions of to hide. She told me she wanted to break up with me recently and even then I lashed out until I calmed down and saw where she's coming from. God bless her for tolerating with my anger issues for so long.
I came to this podcast intentionally wanting to learn more about anger management, it's mostly stuff I've already known but I think hearing 2 grown married mature men talk about it and the whole shell shock of the break up really taught me to be more aware when Im angry
Thank you for making this podcast and shining some hindsight on this topic
Hi, Impulse and Skizzleman! I just want to tell you guys that this podcast really struck a chord with me. I struggle with anger issues, and hearing you two speak so openly and honestly was really encouraging for me. I want to be better, but hearing you two try to be better really makes me want to try even harder. Thank you so much!
Thank you. When I started listening, I was angry at some situations that came up at the office. By the time the pod cast was over, I had relaxed and realized I had had a bad interaction with one of my employees. I subsequently called him and apologized for my reaction. Long time fan and appreciate the content.
Imp's mayo jar story was brilliant! Your Mum handled it so well.
You guys' vulnerability and honesty about these moments you're not proud of are so encouraging to me, who has always been SUPER hard on myself. To know that everyone experiences these things, everyone can look back at an action of the past and be like "oof! Let me not do that again." -- that means a LOT to me as I work on this big time of change for myself.
Skizz so excited that you're going to be a Hermit! so well deserved, I am so so happy, almost crying! :)
Similar story to the Windshield Thing skizz talked about, though this wasn't born from anger- a year ago, I (being very late to class on a cold friday night without my jacket) REALLY wanted to get inside this building where the class was being held. However, things didn't work out that way:
-Someone had accidentally locked the door
-There was no doorbell
-Because this building was for MUSIC lessons, no one heard me knocking for several minutes.
-The door was paned glass; imagine a door with many, many tiny windows in it
-The building, having recently been repaired, did NOT in fact have reinforced glass.
Also, because I have ADHD and tend to think about things AFTER doing them, my immediate thought: "kick the door instead, it'll make a louder knock."
More disastrous happenings! Because I am a theater kid at heart, I RAN at the door. Foot first, head-on. I'd been intending to hit the wooden panes, but you know something? Those are a LOT smaller than you'd think they are. After I accidentally crashed through the glass, I ended up in the ER for six hours, with a doctor's note excusing me from PE for three months, and, well... let's just say I was surprised that they'd managed to get the bloodstain out when I came back to class the next week.
Oh, and also, my insurance company is suing the school. Moral of the story? DO NOT attempt to hit glass, EVER, and if you absolutely HAVE to, THINK IT THROUGH. Find a way to do it as safely as possible.
This is such an interesting podcast. I don’t know much about Impulse or Skizz personally, all I’ve seen were your Phasmo content before realizing that MC were both your main video contents. I’ve always thought of Impulse as a gentle giant; teaching Gem the ropes on how to play both golf irl and Phasmo and how tenderly he talks about his kids and wife. I could never imagine that you had anger management issues like my actual dad. The vulnerability you’ve shown was so transparent I had to pause the video for a while. Hearing you talk about your family so protectively about the car cutting into your lane made me realize how human you are and the extent any father would do for the people he loves. Seeing Skizz too being the ‘voice of reason’ is such an interesting side to see for me. Your leadership really glows and you’re such a role model to the viewers here. Genuinely wish I had a father like you.
Thanks for sharing your life, emotions and story to all of us so openly! Really appreciate both your vulnerability and willingness to talk about topics like this!
"Am I actually forgiving or am I just letting it go?" That's the biggest thing that I've been realizing lately. I am big on forgiveness and unconditional love, but sometimes resentments do still form and it's difficult to manage when you're not giving yourself a healthy space to express real grievances.
I stopped journaling for about a year and that's been horrible for me. I had a lot of reasons to be upset in that year, which is why I stopped journaling lol because I always felt like I was PO'd at something or complaining.. well, apparently I needed to be pissed and complain about it to myself because ...
Anger: an emotion characterized by antagonism towards something/someone ... La la la ... "Anger can be a good thing, used as a way to express negative feelings or motivate you to find SOLUTIONS to problems"
"Solutions" is my word of the year so I love that it's in the definition of anger lol
Journaling is a good tool to help define things, but that’s just the start. Journaling should also include the thoughtfulness toward solutions, too. Very often, that step is left out when journaling, as a concept, is introduced, which is sad. Glad you’re finding yourself moving that way.❤
One thing I learned counseling at risk youth was: Act, don't react. Reacting usually doesn't involve higher critical thinking, but when you think through the situation you can act accordingly.
This was a great podcast to listen to. Been struggling with my anger for so many years and it's nice to read the comments and hear impulse's and skizz's thoughts and stories.
Super excited for skizz being on hermit craft.
But I just want to say thanks to impulse and skizz for making these podcasts.
I listen to these every Saturday morning when I'm on my way to work. It's made the sacrifice of my Saturday's, that I made for my family so much more bearable. I hold off listening to these till Saturday. So I appreciate what you guys do. Keep up the good work! 😊
LOL, What a hilarious intro! Skizz is a natural born actor!
This was a great episode, on so many levels.
Just a comment on the "don't go to bed angry" thing. I'm no expert, but in my experience and I'm talking with professionals, it's not saying you need to resolve the conflict, it's that you need to resolve your emotional disposition to your partner. It's not "don't go to bed upset about something" or disagreement, it's "don't gob to bed mad AT your partner". I've struggled with anger for a long time and so has my wife in a very different way. The 2 most important things I've learned are:
1) when you feel angry, try to think about why, then find the why under that why until you find yourself evaluating your emotions logically. It's incredible how messed up your brain chemistry and reasoning get when you're mad and the only thing that helps is forcing your brain to use a different space.
2) separate your emotions about the topic or situation from your emotions about the person. While not always the case, being in a disagreement or being angry is often incorrectly associated with or targeted at a person who doesn't deserve that. It's not them as a human being, it's their opinion/perception/understanding that you have a problem with, and even then the anger is the result of a personal bias or experience. Keep it clear both with yourself and others that the emotions are not how you feel about _them_ but how you feel about the subject/event and whatever connections it might have to other experiences for you.
Anyway, enough rambling, hopefully this helps someone.
I have two things to say.
One: I have never seen someone be more convincingly angry than the person who was originally, genuinely angry. I don't know if I should say, "Good job, Skizz!" or "What is Bill O'Reilly?"
Two: Anger truly is a gift. For a long time, I couldn't even feel my anger until I totally blew up. It was rare, but it would surprise and terrify me, even more than the people who experienced it from the outside. After years of therapy, I started to feel my anger sooner, and I didn't like it. My therapist at the time told me it was a good sign, as someone who had been severely depressed for a long time. I didn't understand what she meant. She told me anger is a secondary emotion, one that is generated in defense of some other, more vulnerable emotion, like fear or rejection. She said the fact that I was getting angry at people who would mistreat me was a sign that I saw myself as someone worth defending, which was and still is massive progress.
Anyway...I'm gonna go cry now. Have a good day!
I used to save my broken floppy disks. Those of us who've lived long enough remember that they just stopped working suddenly, it was just the usual wear and tear. Sometimes you could save a broken disk, but that took time and effort. Then one day I got so angry I felt the need to break something, and I suddenly decided that a couple of disks could get sacrificed to calm me down, and damn... Floppy disks turns out are great for breaking. Satisfyingly crunchy, bits and bobs flying, deformation and guts spilling out. And minimal clean up!
I even got my dad hooked. He was having a hard time with repairing the car and he came in seething from the garage, radiating "don't talk to me"-vibes. I handed him a floppy and just told him "break this, it'll feel better", and I found him going through my stash a couple of times after that.
SKIZZ IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! I know you have so much going on and i’m so grateful for you putting your time into hermitcraft! i know you’ll do amazing! much love
There is a 'trait' in my family where when we get angry we see red. Literally! The red will blind us to anything else and we just rage. This happened when I was a Junior in High School. The one and only time I had it happen to me, I almost killed my brother standing across from me. He was the source of my rage. When I was on the downward stroke to hit him with an antique, lead-weighted piano lamp, I snapped out of it and swung away from him. In that moment, I was never so frightened in my life in the power of anger and how it can control us. Ever since then, when I start to feel that rage. I walk away and isolate myself. I give myself a 3-day break to process whatever may have triggered me and work through it. Now that I am a retired senior citizen, this has saved my neck so many times throughout my lifetime. So much so, that I've been described as having "the patience of Jobe". It's really not worth killing someone in that fit of rage. I owe it to my father who taught me this because he also "saw red". It's a paternal trait in my family. Nothing is worth that rage.
Wow! To know that seeing red is actually a real experience is scary. Thank goodness your father taught you well! ❤ And thank you, too, for sharing. Maybe this info will help someone else. ❤
the story of Impulse breaking the glass jars reminds me of how I learned that a good way to release anger if you have a desire to break things is using ice, it can shatter like glass but is absolutely harmless, the ice will melt at some point and disappear, with the anger gone!
also fun fact, the main reason people have the urge/desire to break things is cause it can release that built up tension & (usually) negative emotion via that physical action which can often feel really good when seeing the broken thing(s)
I have always been hot headed but I am trying very hard to regulate through “zones of regulation” and prayer for patience and self control.
One of my favorite trite phrases is "pick your battles." Sometimes you have to address something to keep it from festering, but often it is SO much better to just acknowledge that it's not a battle worth your energy and just let it go. Great podcast!
I dont think ive ever heard Skizz sound this mad and its scary, i cant imagine how scary he is when actually mad.
Edit: it was funny, but imagining it was real made it scary 😂
I agree
Oh, Skizz, i feel that! I've been the only one who spoke up. Other people felt the same but were too afraid to step up and say so. In the end all you can do is say your piece, communicate with those in charge of making decisions, have facts behind your feelings, and then let it be. Its not on you and people have the right to be wrong. It is hard to let something fail and even harder not to say i told you so when it does. Some of us are better at seeing potential barriers and try to mitigate damage before it happens. Unfortunately it gets labled as resistance to change even when it's not. Hang in there. You did what you could. Deep breaths
❤
Wow, the talk about road rage and holding in your fuses around your kids is literally so heartwarming. You two are amazing parents and I really hope you know that and I hope it stays that way.
I enjoy seeing the vulnerability and honesty from you two! As a younger person I can say that it helps a lot being able to listen to different perspectives from people I look up to. The idea of simply slowing down just a little bit in this fast paced world would help many of us with anger. Enjoyed the podcast! Keep up the great work!!
Impulse, with the mayonnaise jars; at least you had the mental capacity to bring the jars outside instead of smashing them in the kitchen. I thought that was the most adult part of this story.
Love the location-a dark background is easier to watch on screen than the white was. I appreciate the effort put into not swearing (even “soft” ones) so I can listen when my kids are around. Through this whole discussion I was was thinking how amazing you are that as grown men you didn’t share stories where you took out your anger physically on another person. I hope all your listeners know that it is NEVER okay. Protecting one’s family is an admirable attribute-I hope we are never condemned by our thoughts associated with that because the momma bear in me has planned out many a demise! 😅 See ya next week!
Finishing this up today, and just wanted to touch on the "don't go to bed angry" saying. My grandma told it to me and it was said with the intent that you never know when your time here is over, and you might not get that chance to make it right.
I cant say how much i love this podcast. Two amazing people just chatting about life. i feel like i learn so much every episode.
I carnt imagine how annoyed skizz was macking this knowing he couldn't mention hes in hermitcraft
Right? Just what I was thinking lol. Next episode they’ll get to talk aaalllllll about it
Such a valuable conversation. Thank you! I am reminded of the saying "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
I was a VERY angry teenager. My bedroom had holes in the walls all over, and my parents didn’t care, or even show an ounce of understanding. Luckily I’ve grown a lot and now I have a near endless fuse, and the bomb that does go off is small. I show frustration with a situation, but that’s the most of it now. Once I got married and realized my energy was wearing off on those around me, I decided I needed to chill out. I still get angry at times, but now I share my grievances, and talk them out amicably. All it really took for me was someone to show me that my feelings were something that mattered. My wife has been the best thing to happen to me, bar-none. I’ve also channeled my anger into tinkering.
Seriously, great acting. I had no idea you had that.
Anger is how I learned what being a parent meant. My first child had difficulties during birth and had to stay at the hospital for a while. The third night, a nurse putting self-promotion above my wife and child's well-being made my wife cry. Without my brain being part of the situation, I found that I had physically placed my body between the nurse and my family, and ordered her out of the room. I didn't shout, I didn't threaten, but it was clear how angry I was. The other nurse in the room practically yanked her out of the NICU, and I explained to my wife that they were going to take me out of the hospital and she'd have to go through the rest of this alone, but I had to be sure she wasn't going to be attacked again. Thankfully, the duty nurse came in a few minutes later and explained that it wasn't the first time it happened, and the nurse was being taken off the NICU rotation. I remember thinking, "Oh, so this is what being a father means. It's putting myself between my family and whatever is threatening them."
I think you guys make a good point about bottling up anger, but not actually resolving it. I often am seen as slow to get mad by other people, but what I often do is just not lash out immediately, but just ruminate about it for several days after, which leads to a blow up later down the line. Perhaps learning to be able to be honest about anger in a firm, yet controlled way, is important, not just covering things up.
That was a good episode, thanks for the good advice and stories (they were pretty funny haha).
The desire to break things stems from the violent tendency that Anger can bubble up. As destruction helps to quickly dispel that sudden surge in emotions. Being a female, when I was younger and I would get angry, I would have strong urges to throw things. Either across the room or slamming it into the floor, and that motion is like throwing the anger out. Its a bad way to handle things, and thankfully I've manage to conquer that in myself.
Amazing podcast! And congrats Skizz for joining HC!!!!
This podcast actually comes at a perfect time for me. Ever since ive come off my medications im having to re learn how to feel and express emotions. Expecially anger. Before it was like I would get rid of the point of anger but I couldn't cross the line frustrated that I would have an emotional Outburst of Tears instead. So imagine the shock to myself my boyfriend and our roommate when I had a visceral genuinely mad reaction to something for the first time in 5 years
One of the funnyest thing is i have a room with a ceiling fan and every time somebody goes into that room one of the first things I say is "you have a weird ceiling fan"😂😂
@MCSkizzleMan Hermitcraft season 10 hasn’t even started yet but you’ve made this the best season yet. All love goes out to you. You’re awesome!
It actually has. Episode ones come out tomorrow. It’s been tweeted.
also he made a tweet about it.
Thankyou so much for this podcast! I just sent this podcast to my husband because he is learning how to deal wit his emotions after years of emotional abuse from his family growing up. Hoping some of what you say can help him in this journey. For anyone concerned, he is never abusive to me because we talk about his feelings all the time. But this advice can be helpful for him when he's at work.
I too had to deal with anger at my parents,my therapist said to me 'You are not your parents,what you do into the future is all up to you well done for sharing talking to each other is the way to keep a happy relationship..Good luck in the future.
Impulse and Skizzleman, I am here to inform you that you two are my favourite of the life series and hermitcraft because of the way you both are so seemingly in touch with your lives and families. It makes me very happy to see that both of you care about your families unlike so many people out there. It makes me feel very emotional to hear that you both get very concerned when your families are in danger or at risk, because the amount of bad things the world is going through right now is very scary and unimaginable. Also, to finish it off, I am very grateful and thankful that you have made this podcast. Thank you for working as hard as you do.:)
It’s so wierd how I’ve been going through these anger issues of blowing up in the moment and I realized I do this, but hearing them talk about it and giving it time it makes so much sense
3:50 Impulse, I was afraid to click on this video because I fear my anger. I grew up in a violent environment and my anger kept me alive but I also hurt the ones I love and when I realized this I did a 180 switch and got my temper under control. Since then, hurting and scaring those around me with my anger is my greatest fear. You guys talking about it is super healthy and super good we also need more men specifically talking about this stuff. Thanks for speaking up!
Sometimes I come back just to rewatch that intro, so good 😂
As a new adult who's totally lost on what to do with my life, listening to the podcast has really helped me keep myself on track. Starting a new job today, wish me luck!
🍀 All the luck to you! The thing that helped me most was a budget book. The thing that helps my niece most is a planner. Bottom line for both is: document commitments, so you don’t accidentally over-commit. It’s the over-commitment that gets one in stressful situations. 🍀 All the best to you! ❤
Thank you for this. I’m dealing with anger this week. It’s toward myself. I made decisions over 2 years and just discovered they were unintentionally harmful to my furry buddy and I am struggling with hating myself for not seeing how bad it was sooner. Someone said 3 vets didn’t know what was wrong either and I should forgive myself but I can’t seem to stop being furious with myself.
SKIZZ!! So many people were hoping you would be the newest hermit for season 10. Including me, ZITS fans will keep waiting patiently for ZIT to have its final member someday. Meanwhile, we all will keep enjoying the laughs we get from the podcast, streams/vods, zits Olympics, and any other content that might come our way. I was in your stream when you said something about taking a break from work, I hope you enjoy it to the fullest. This is by mean hate towards the new hermits joining, i can't wait to see what they bring to the community, and beyond excited for them.
(Edit all the theories I saw about hermitcraft 10 said it was going to be a new guy and girl and at the time Joel already announced he was joining so I didn't think skizz was going to join)
This was a great podcast. I can relate to wanting to break things (as a woman), but the thought of having to clean it up after stops me. For dog beds, I recommend Costco. They usually have large beds for only about $50. My dog used to destroy the smaller ones, but he loves the big ones from Costco, assuming we cut the tags off first.
Even when we calm down, we should always talk about what bothered us. Festering is so subtle. Communication is always key! ❤
So excited for this episode.
I'm a girl and my first instinct is to break things when I'm mad. I've gotten better at it, but I've broken many things including my clarinet, my moms necklace, my and phone (they've all been fixed) I definitely get it from my dad who rarely gets really mad, but when he does its bad
So listening to the jar story. I have, for as long as i can remember, always had anger issues. The turning point line i was told was "Anger isn't bad. Anger is energy. Learn how to use that energy." From there, i remind myself "i am a furnace, not a bonfire".
Thinking about anger in my own life and looking back makes me realise just how much I've grown.
I used to be a *really* loud crier. I'd show I was angry by screaming and crying my head off when I was a kid. That continued probably into my double-digit years. One day, I just decided to stop. I've never scream-cried since. (Not counting the time[s] I couldn't breathe and thus made more noise in my attempts to keep surviving. lol)
More recently, after I got my driver's licence, I'd get upset and stressed out by other drivers. I'd have stressful dreams about driving and being unable to hit the brakes. Everything built up to a boiling point, and I started taking my anger out on the car while I drove. I'd stomp on the break a little too hard or swerve around others, sometimes weaving just a bit before I calmed down. One night, I was driving my mum home, and I was ticked off for some reason. There was a stop sign. I was heading towards it a bit too fast, which was a bad idea all around since we were on a tiny backroad. We got to the sign, and I stomped on the brake harder than I'd meant to... so Mum made me put the car in park and switch with her. I was beyond upset. But that was a defining moment; I don't think I've road-raged since.
Anger and our response to it can define who we become. I was a short-fused giant bomb of a kid. Now, I like to think I'm a more level-headed, long-fused little bomb of an adult. A lot of advice I've worked into my life came from you guys. From the bottom of me li'l heart... thank you. God bless ye both. 🤗💖
Thank you both for another great episode today! And also... CONGRATS SKIZZ!!! I was worried this past week while you were "dark" -- you've mentioned work has been rough, and I was hoping you were staying quiet for good reasons and not because something was amiss in your personal life. I hope you've been having an absolute BLAST on the Hermitcraft server with everyone!!! Happy Season 10 to you both!
I want to thank you both. Not just for the advice and entertainment that you've both provided but also something else. Inspiration. I made a UA-cam video calling out who would be joining the HermitCraft server. It wasn't something I planned, it wasn't something I was interested in doing, but I felt for some reason like it was an ode to you Skizz. I felt like you deserved it and you earned it and my god did my single video sky rocket. Typically I get between 50 and 60 views on average. The last I checked it was a 2.8k views and still going up. I want to thank you both and also thank your podcast, especially the episode "what is stopping you" I feel invigorated and want to push myself to do what I want to do a not what I think everyone wants to see. Thank you both. 🤘
Thanks for providing the link to "we'll do it live" in the description! I was wanting to watch that since i listened to the podcast earlier today
Hysterical!! Well done!! 👏😅😅
I am so glad you are joining Hermitcraft Skizz.
Nothing's been announced yet. Imagine he isnt and how all these comments might feel.
@@Missmori Hi! It's been announced on Twitter 😊
@@Missmori It has been announced. It is Skizz and Joel/SmallishBeans. Been out for hours now
@@kammymaree I see. I don't have Twitter and I just got out of work
Lessss goooooo!!!!!!!!
As a female, I 100% feel the need to break something or get physical when I am super angry. Unfortunately, before the need to break things, my body's first reaction is to cry. I wonder if that is my body's way of releasing the pressure before it gets out of hand 😂 Best song to rage to is definitely Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit, though. There are some places that you can pay to just destroy things in a safe environment, btw. They just give you a bat and put you in a room, and you go crazying breaking things, its great!
Laughing at the mental image of preteen Impulse smashing mayonnaise jars while swearing! The point about taking time is so true. I got frustrated easily as a kid, still not perfect. Even now tend to let all the small frustrating things pile up. Lately whenever something doesn't go well and I can feel the blood pressure start to rise I often tell myself "There's no way I'm going to care about this in 10 minutes." For those small things, this true 99% true. BTW, I'm going to use Skizz's ceiling fan analogy.
Skizz, it's scary how similar our work situations are right now. Like right down to the letter. I am trying to convince my organization, but no one will listen. It is SO hard and I sympathize SO much with you!
What Impulse said about anger related to danger to his family reminded me of a story I wish to share with you.
Last year I was walking home from a concert with my dad when a couple of boys started loudly discriminating me for being trans. My dad is one of those with a short fuse and big bomb, so it didn't take long for him to flip. It started with shouting, then it broke out into a physical fight. I called the cops, cause it was getting out of hand and discriminating over gender identity is illegal and punishable in Norway. The police didn't get the guys as they fled the scene before they left, but they stayed with us and even drove us home. My dad broke down crying to the police officer saying he wasn't sure what he did was right. Do you know what the officer said? He said he can't condone to voilence, but he did not believe it was wrong to protect someone you love.
It is true that if he had calmed down before handling the situation, it wouldn't have escalated that badly, but there is something oddly comforting about knowing he cares enough about my safety to wanting to put his life and reputation (he's in politics) at risk in order to protect me.
Wow, bravo to you AND your dad. You both did things to protect the other in that situation. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, but wow, am I happy to hear you have such caring, supportive parents to help you through tough times. Wishing you all the best!
The ceiling fan theory is quite on point and does sounds like it's a real saying lol
Me and my gf were looking at the curtains we just had installed and noticed how it's slightly bent because the company might not have measured and installed it perfectly. We were so invested in getting it fixed since we have just bought and installed it, but after 2 appointments on getting it fixed having been postponed because we had urgent business coming up at both times, we just stopped caring and forgot about it and it has been a year since. Sometimes you just get tunnel visioned into something because it's what occupying your mind at the moment but genuinely nobody would notice or care about how one side of the curtain is one centimeter lower than the other.
I got really uncomfortable at the start - great job, Skizz! I am from a family who was never allowed to display anger, so zero skills learned in handling it. I didn't ever think I had personally experienced that emotion. Little did I know...
I cannot stop seeing young Impulse, YoungPulse if you will, storming out the back door with two glass mayonnaise jars in hand 😂 just FUMING and mumbling to himself to the concrete pad 😂😂 and just YEETING these things to the ground! 🤣🤣
You two are increible
One of the best things I learned from a coach I had was the 24 hour rule. If you’re angry about something then give it 24 hours - if you are still upset then talk about it. They wouldn’t discuss anything that happened until 24 hours had passed and I think it gave everyone space to react correctly to their anger
WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!
i was uncertain to click this vid at first, but let me tell you: this one has gotta be top 5 I&S episodes that made me laugh the hardest
I've been surviving out of sheer spite and rage the past 8 years past my expiration date. no time to be afraid or sad, use that rage to fight the change you want to see. (Not to use it to be a Karen, that's my only warning on that, I don't try to use it against other people, but I do use it against a faulty system that is keeping people down). thought process has been, "you can survive and get through anything if you're angry enough." It's how I've been debt free, gone to college (paid out of pocket), and protected people I care about.
Auto-Glass Technician here! I don’t recommend hitting windshields. 😂😂
I really needed this today. Should have watched this before my emotions blew up in my face. (Thankfully short-lived). Everything in this podcast is spot on. Thanks fellas ❤
Love the chops, Skizz. Going to re watch that one a lot
Oh boy, this episode couldn't have came at a better time. I've had a crazy past two weeks. I'm a senior in high school, who's been dealing with some medical issues for a very long time now. It's impacted my attendance, and it seems like EVERONE is against me. The anger has just been boiling and boiling. I can't say how many times I've cried or shouted these past few days. It's all so overwhelming, and I've turned into that short fuse, big bomb guy because of it. I need to step back and work at this because that's not the kind of man I want to be. I think you guys said some really good and important things today, and I really thank you for it. Thank you two so much.
P.S. See you tomorrow on Hermitcraft!
Hello! I’ve commented a couple times on this channel now and as a teen, wanted to say that these definitely leave an impact (or imprint if you will) on younger audiences! A lot of the advice I’ve seen on this podcast is stuff I take, particularly a technique skizz mentioned when he said that his negative emotions were some sort of disgusting entity, and that he’d throw it away. ‘What’s stopping you’ also got me more into studying psychology and music production and working harder at school!
Also I VERY MUCH needed the podcast since I ended up getting mad- (ironically and admittedly it was the fact I got interrupted whilst watching this podcast-) Now that it’s the end of the day and I’m finishing watching it now, that wasn’t too good a reason to get annoyed over it… and even if other things may have lit my slightly short fuse, you guys are right in saying it won’t matter too much when you get older.
Also congrats to Skizz for becoming a hermit! As you’ve probably seen in the comments we’re all anticipating it! Cheers to another great podcast! 💛💙
congrats on becoming a herrmit Skizz!!! so happy for you and I am looking forward to seeing you imput your genious into HC!!
You two are amazing people and I love your insight on this topic
I love the topic and the stories you guys related. Skizz mentioned the fan situation and I call that situation momentary obsession. Caught in the moment of a decision or a reaction that can lead to alot of issues. I think (depending on the circumstances) we all have anger issues but it boils down to how we react to it in the moment. Great job and thanks for sharing.
I can see it now: Impulse is starting to get upset during a live stream and chat just starts spamming the words "ceiling fan."
Oh yeah, definitely gonna happen now.
Excited to watch another episode! You guys inspired me to start a channel, and I can't thank you enough! :D
I work for a very large manufacturer company. For me I have supervised for over 10yrs . I was given the opportunity to take the manager roll. The best advise my boss ever gave me was “sleep on it”. If you are still that passionate tomorrow, then peruse it.
Congratulations Skizz!!! ❤🎉
Can't believe I'm watching this thinking "Oh hey. Just two hermitcrafters right there"
Congrats again Skizzleman!
Just joining the crowd saying y'all killed the opening!
(even knowing it was coming, it was great!)
I feel Skizz sooo much on the work aspect. I've tried not carrying as much, it's hard to break when it takes up so much of your day. But I'm thinking it might just be time to move on. I hope he finds some peace though, I know it's not easy to just jump into something new.
I work with pre-k kids, and emotional regulation is a hard skill to learn! We spend so much time on emotions because we want to have a healthy relationship with them.
It's ok to be mad, but it's not ok to hit someone when you're mad. It's ok to be mad, but it's not ok to throw chairs (yes, this happens) when you're mad.
Every emotion can be used to fuel creativity just like every emotion can be used to destroy creativity.
The intro reminded me of that RV salesman who was NOT having it that particular day.
While as a woman, I too often feel the desire to break things in anger, I know for a fact that I will always be the one to clean it up, so I almost never do. Men typically walk away and leave after an explosion of anger and aren't required to clean up whatever they break, so they don't resist the urge as much (but very glad the elder Mrs. Impulse made little Impulse clean up his mayo jars!).
Reminds me of a quote about a man who opened up a rage room and expected to get a bunch of guys comeing in to use it. But it was mostly girls/ women "and they come in packs"
I FOUND THE QUOTE ""We thought it would be guys, [but it's] rarely happened," Smash Brothers co-founder Johnny Li says. "It's mainly girls. They come in packs.""
I want this comment to be pinned. It’s very true. A lot of men aren’t expected to clean up the aftermath.
I really appreciate this podcast. You guys "on paper" would be awesome friends to have. You put out an episode that I feel like is the best episode ever but you do it continuously. It's hard not to laugh at skizz dropping the f bomb under his breath or impulse's murderous intent. You guys are as real as it gets and we love you for it. Congratulations Skizz on your induction to hermitcraft!
That was an AMAZING bit skizzaroosies 😭 I needed that laugh! I really needed Imp and Skizz this week. My birthday was monday 1/29 and I really wanted a birthday youyo ❤ but I lost someone very special to me the next day.. my heart has been heavy. Thank you guys for always helping lighten the load ❤
❤ Hugs.
i love the ceiling fan analogy