_Sincerely hope,_ that Bert never, EVER realizes & allows himself to believe in the reality that he is honestly famous! The guy is _truly_ the world's greatest "just a normal guy", that _everybody_ knows & loves. 💕💕
@apparatu5 he definitely has some not-light level of npd. Not every case of narcissistic personality disorder is the toxic evil kind we usually associate socially. Obliviousness partners with it commonly. "I used to think when someone else stopped living, I got to live that much longer."
the other day on the Bas episode when Joe said he was gonna cut back on the drinking because he saw his friend get shitfaced obliterated and not even able to speak right he was most likely talking about Bert.
@bLaCk I think joe is probably thinking that bert is just using him to promote his movie. Joe clearly looks uncomfortable he looks like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world
Hilarious how Bert is “cracking up and falling apart” at how “funny” the story is, yet when Joe doesn’t laugh, Bert’s fake laugh just stops and he is straight faced.
Joe tried to give Bart a talk. Listen to the pod. Joe was telling him that “he’s a lot” to deal with for most people. Of course, Bert just giggled, and continued talking about himself…
It's weird how often he has to remind everyone how he as never cheated on his wife. Every time I see a short clip of him on any given podcast, he is always bragging about how he could never cheat or never has. That is a really strange thing to do if you have never cheated.
@@woahblackbettybamalam what’s with the insane uptick of anti semitism? Bert and Joe aren’t even fucking Jewish lmao. Bert literally went to catholic school growing up.
Soon we will laugh very hard , what were the chances of russian mobsters hearing his standup or pod appearance Vs russian mobsters watching an american comedy in russia about mobsters. He will get called on it for sure 😂
@@aparaatti not that this is the reason but there is a monetary incentive to me nice and friends with him. Just like with joe, if he didnt have his podcast and all that money would he have all his "friends"?
I've only known about Bert for maybe 6 months..?! Not sure how he used to be, but he seems to be "humbly narcissistic". Kinda like a kid who won free candy from the candy store for one full year. Over the top excited, and can't seem to let even his own guests speak long without interrupting. I think he's funny, and has promoted the movie hilariously, and of course "over the top" constantly. And I definitely see why many get very irked and disappointed with him. You've got to love him, or hate him. And I can see this changing, just as quickly.👍💯✌️🙏
@@jasonwitte3642 joe is a 30+ years comedian, tv, ufc guy... the pods is masive just for the past 5 years.. he still have the same friends and the same people.. i dont think fame chance him like with burt
Him and Schaub have that effect. They have some "ok" highlights but if you try to listen to them in a long podcast you cant help but think "this guys pretty stupid"
I don’t get it. He’s literally always been like this. Why ‘turn’ on someone for continuing to be the way they are? He’s immature, but he’s always been…. Nothing changed
Comedians movies almost always are a wash in the first place, it would probably have been much better to go straight to Netflix deal or something but I’d imagine with the power of JRE audience it’ll come out alright
@@JoshJr98 I just looked at box office projection and they believe they will bring in at least $5 million during Memorial Day weekend😂 honestly think that’s a very generous projection that they believe that many eyes will be willing to watch the movie as soon as it comes out.
This is the thing that kills me I was a huge drinker in the late 90s and early 2000s and we never would have thought this clown was cool. I'm not even convinced this guy really drinks like that
I mean I will admit I was a Bert fan when I heard the machine story like 10 years ago, and I watched a show he did on Netflix, but while he seems like a nice guy it’s beyond worn out at this point. Put your fucking shirt on, go to rehab & either learn to have a serious conversation or sit down and write some actual comedy again. After the machine story all he’s done is progressively drink more and in any conversation claim he could be great at whatever it is that’s brought up
@@five11four Yes, he took a trip to Russia when he was in High school and some pics exist that back it up. The rest of the story is complete BS made up by Bert. Even his closest friends call him a compulsive liar. It even seems like Joe is getting tired of Berts nonsense.
I first heard the machine story on Facebook literally like 10 years ago, it’s insane they’re STILL on that. Write some new stuff that doesn’t involve you drunk and shirtless
I think that’s why I didn’t pursue looking at his stand-up stuff.. I loved that story - but after seeing him constantly shirtless and talking about being drunk I just didn’t care to.. cos he turned it into his identity.
@@firstlast9846 yeah he definitely isn’t a bad comic, his old actual comedy albums about doing acid at Disneyland or how he was like MTVs partier of the year stuff WAS good. But he’s a 50 year old man with kids now who’s still stuck being a sloppy giggly drunk to the point he’s just annoyed everyone into disliking him. For example Joe is a terrible comic and not really the smartest guy around but millions of people love him because he has a serious side to him and is able to have a real personality and conversations. Bert would be insanely popular again if he just did a little maturing.
Except we don't have Segura, Burr, & Rogan pointing out why we're funny like Bert does...bc He's not funny, it's other comic's reactions that fans actually like
@@apuapustaja1 it’s mainly just Bert and shaub. 90% of his friends are good comedians. Protect our parks episodes are awesome with Shane, ari and mark. It’s just like how we tolerate Cristina P. We all like Tom and not her. Two bear’s episodes get a lot more views when Bert is not on the podcast.
If you blow up a balloon and pull the airhole taught so it squeeks and at the same time have a stranger from any pub tell you jokes. You get the same experience as "the movie".
id be glad to interview with you if i get a break from drinking mountain dew and dipping skoal all day. Maybe tuesday .. if your actually being honest.
@@robdagr8te Tha'd be awesome. Tuesday it is. It would help you prep, my questions will tough on what's so funny with the machine story and why is this man's alcoholism celebrated.
@@ShotgunSandwichENT maybe you’re right.. luckily that’s not what I want in my life otherwise I’d put time and effort into my videos but he’s the luckiest guy in showbiz. He’s a nice guy, sure, but I’ve never laughed at anything except the machine bit. And everything I see, he just seems to fake laugh at his own jokes… and it’s always about him being a drunk.. it’s kinda boring.. again he seems like a nice guy and fun to hang out with. But not my cup of tea comedy wise…
@@CallingALLmarks I hear ya, but you don’t reach his level of success if you don’t have people that like you. Like really like you enough to spend money on you. I’m not familiar enough with his work to really comment but he obviously provides some type of value to a large enough group that he’s been able to make a living. And I steer away from attributing anything that lasts for years to luck/chance.
Bert was the one hit wonder of comedy that should've been forgotten about shortly after. Now he's fake wheezing instead of naturally laughing in a new attempt to find that viral moment again
It’s hard to dislike him because he seems like such a nice guy but it seems like all of us have really just gotten tired of it lmao. Every time he’s on anything he’s never serious and it’s just a conversation about him being an alcoholic who claims he COULD be good at stuff.
@@PlutoTheGod He lacks so much self awareness and so overconfident for a man who isn’t funny and is drinking himself into a coma at 50 despite having kids
@@dinestygamer8857lol, ya not like there's photos and multiple ppl his age confirming it. Also the fact the story hasn't changed at all since he first told it on radio in the early 2000s. So fake.
Dude I watched this hoping to change my perspective on Bert, and he just talked about how amazing he is for 2 hours and it was exactly what I thought it would be…
He always says that though, so you can never believe him lmao, like every time we've witnessed him going sober and Tom asks him how long for; and Bert answers "Months" cause he doesnt count weekends or special occacions lol so when he says never....he probably has cheated a handful of times
Hollywoods had a massive drought of comedy movies since 2010 and now we have this pile of crap. It’s like being offered a cup of motor oil while being stranded on an island.
Joe is amazing but I do resent him for not screening properly the people he decides to donate a career to. Its because of you Joe that we have to tolerate Bert & Brendon.
Everyone has the “bert” friend in their life. The one who’s kinda annoying and never prepared and always embarrases you. Joe decided to get his “Bert” famous
Lol he doesn’t even realize what he does. Then he makes a joke about it that goes over his own head. “I loved watching myself more than a narcissist.” 🤦♂️
When Bert’s beady little pig’s eyes get really big and he says, “Guyth…guyth…I thwear on the lives of my children, thith really happened! I thwear, guyth!”, that’s how you know that he’s 100% lying.
Fuck yeah, but Joey would need a whole tv series. They could easily adapt his book, but idk who could play a young Joey I'm sure there's someone out there.
Bert is the anthropomorphism of your society in the US. A 50 year old dude, acting like he's still in high-school, living off of a joke he did years ago. Dude is also the dictionary definition of "me, myself and I". Must've got tired of talking about himself, so he made a movie of himself.
Anthropomorphism is a wild word to throw out casually in UA-cam comments….. I had to check the dictionary, but I am not sure it means what you think it means…I really don’t care, but I blame you for making me look it up! 😂
I'm thinking he don't wanna, because he probably made the rich plasma guy look so bad, that he might end up losing his business leading to future lawsuits. Rogan podcasts have ruined careers that's why it aint live anymore.
Well every time Joe has someone on thats not just his pal they’re either some pseudoscience weirdo or Joe will talk over them and turn the whole thing into the typical weird facts about aliens drugs and animal meat. Right before he went to spotify was like peak Rogan. I wish he’d get on some Olympic athletes or scientists. some kind of super unique life experience people that you actually want to hear about other than just lame self absorbed celebs or drugged out alien conspiracists
You can almost hear a tiny hint of frustration in Joe’s voice throughout the show, deep down you can tell he’s tired of Bert’s shit, but they’ve been friends for so long, and he no doubt feels sorry for Bert in some way.
Rogans hated that Bert still tells that story for like 10 years, was telling him to ditch it in 2013, calling it a crutch, now 10 years later and its still kind of all Bert has other than trying to go viral by squeeling in every video
Nearly every movie that comes out has an advance screening for the media and fans a week or weeks before the release to get talk going. The other day I just saw The Flash which was awesome but Bert’s movie hasn’t had any advance screenings i’m aware of which is a bit weird. Hope the movie does good in the box office
I think that at this point Tom, Joe, Ari, etc. are detached from the reality that Burt is... that not even the laughs seem real anymore... just imagine that when Ari drugged him... they got "angry" 2 minutes that says alot...
Bert is the kinda guy that makes a movie about himself then cries watching it.
Crying remembering filming that one kissing scene “all day, for like 30 minutes straight”
Cries*
@@Iamhimberly tell me you are indian, without telling me.
_Sincerely hope,_ that Bert never, EVER realizes & allows himself to believe in the reality that he is honestly famous! The guy is _truly_ the world's greatest "just a normal guy", that _everybody_ knows & loves. 💕💕
I bet Leeanne was crying after kissing this 🐻
His ability to continue riding the wave of this story for a decade now is amazing
If amazing were a synonym for "annoying"
What's even worse is the movie is actually really funny. Mark Hammil was great.
It’s actually pathetic. I can’t believe people genuinely think this story is real, this guy is a fucking pathological liar
Not sure he’s “riding the wave” anymore… the movie bombed in the box office!
Some people hate being known for one thing and others embrace it
Bert getting roasted in the comments was exactly what I was looking for. Thanks guys
Yes this made me feel so much better.😹
Lmfaoooo
Why is everyone roasting Bert?
@@frankallen892 he’s a not very funny narcissistic that tells the same 97 stories in every podcast and thinks he’s a god lol
Feels good being a bully i guess
Lol. I love how Bert says he liked watching himself more than a narcissist as if he isn't one.
He is definitely not a narcissist, or an alcoholic.
@@aparaatti narcissistic tendencies it the very least
@@tristanbowman7098 he might start referring to himself in the 3rd person after this movie
@apparatu5 he definitely has some not-light level of npd. Not every case of narcissistic personality disorder is the toxic evil kind we usually associate socially. Obliviousness partners with it commonly.
"I used to think when someone else stopped living, I got to live that much longer."
What exactly makes him so self absorbed ?
Bert got so tired from talking about himself that he had to make a movie about himself.
He’s gonna beat this dead horse into the earth’s core, it would seem.
@@libertariansasquatch so would you if u made millions every year
Yeah, I can honestly say I didn’t laugh once in this clip
@@viking_norLame response
@@Cryptosporidium140 how is that nearly as lame as ur response. It's a fucking fact.
Has anyone else noticed how joe isn't laughing at Bert's "jokes". It's so awkward i feel like joe is so done with Bert and his BS
@bLaCk did it to promote his movie
the other day on the Bas episode when Joe said he was gonna cut back on the drinking because he saw his friend get shitfaced obliterated and not even able to speak right he was most likely talking about Bert.
@bLaCk I think joe is probably thinking that bert is just using him to promote his movie. Joe clearly looks uncomfortable he looks like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world
hes not done. thats his boy. but he prolly irritated lol
Hilarious how Bert is “cracking up and falling apart” at how “funny” the story is, yet when Joe doesn’t laugh, Bert’s fake laugh just stops and he is straight faced.
What did we do wrong to deserve another Bert podcast so soon after the last one…I promise we’ll never do it again.
You uh don’t need to be watching it you know
@@mr.doctorcaptain1124 dude your mom goes to college shut up
Zing haha Bert fans are dorks
I felt the same seeing it pop up. What a waste of an episode.
Its not up to you buddy. Not your show
Bert is the nickelback of comedy.
Except nickel back is actually somewhat enjoyable
No they had multiple hits, Bert only has the machine
That’s unfair for Nickelback
@Libertarian Sasquatch
You don't have a net worth around 10 million as an entertainer with only one hit, and that one hit has even came out yet.
@@joeschmo247 it’s funny how people in the UA-cam comments always assume the people they are talking to are just everyday 9 to 5ers like themselves.
I cried the first time I saw Bert's stand up too.
Yea cuase it sucks so bad
@@codysmith7456 yes that was the joke good job
@@Captain_Yami_Sukehiro no shit. Me missing sarcasm was my joke. Good job
Bert has sex with his own son
@@codysmith7456 sarcasm is hard to land over text, if it was actually intended to be sarcasm
Bert needs an intervention, not a lead role in a film encouraging his downfall.
He's not funny.
that premise might make for a better film
Ok mom
@@Original-Juice true. By no means am I watching this film, but if it was a weight loss movie... I'm in
Ari tried. Ari can see Bert’s ego problem that’s why he tried to help. And we saw how Bert reacted to that. Drama.
You can tell Joe doesn’t give af about what Bart is saying, and that he doesn’t think what he’s saying is funny. He needs the talk Joe, it’s time.
Bart 😂
Joe tried to give Bart a talk. Listen to the pod. Joe was telling him that “he’s a lot” to deal with for most people. Of course, Bert just giggled, and continued talking about himself…
It’s in this episode or a different one?
'Bert, I think it's time you join the UFC' is the talk Joe needs to give Bert.
@@oddassembler lmfao
It's weird how often he has to remind everyone how he as never cheated on his wife. Every time I see a short clip of him on any given podcast, he is always bragging about how he could never cheat or never has. That is a really strange thing to do if you have never cheated.
Cuz he has
Methinks he dost protest too much.
@@annetreacy2437 😂
Blow Jobs count BERT!
He also said at 1:16 "I haven't cheated on you *in* like" - sounded like a slip of the tongue to me
This dude is 50 years old and still acts like he’s 21.
National Lampoons Van Wilder is based on his seven year college career
@@nameunavailable1330 even more cringe.
He drinks 32 - 64oz of koolaid a day. He's practically brain dead.
I like Bert.
thats the thing. its kind of a spectacular achievement
Proof that you dont need to have talent to make it in hollywood
No you just need rich and talented friends that can tolerate your behavior
You just gotta be apart of a specific tribe
Just be a jew
@@woahblackbettybamalam what’s with the insane uptick of anti semitism? Bert and Joe aren’t even fucking Jewish lmao. Bert literally went to catholic school growing up.
The Machine story needs to end. Make it stop.
Brooo it’s definitely real and he takes his shirt off and laughs alot it’s hilarious
@@thearmyofgreatness naw that story is faker than my step moms tits
Soon we will laugh very hard , what were the chances of russian mobsters hearing his standup or pod appearance Vs russian mobsters watching an american comedy in russia about mobsters.
He will get called on it for sure 😂
Milked an entire career of one story
A MADE UP FAIRY TALE story at that
Isn’t that the American dream, though?
@@RandomBogey agreed.. I smell jealousy
Goals
@@tacomakix is the story not real?
“No Bert, I think YOU’D be surprised” Joe missed an epic opportunity to give another one of his friends some honest advice.
Y'homeless Bapa?
Damn, that was hard to watch
@@tintshady2049 Dicey Dicey
@@siennad587 n'ane facet
@@tintshady2049 Nothin a double leg can't fix
Never seen a man so self absorbed, he was so likable before. The fame didn’t go to just his head but his whole entire body.
100% lol. The really early episodes of JRE with Bert were some of my favorites
@@aparaatti not that this is the reason but there is a monetary incentive to me nice and friends with him. Just like with joe, if he didnt have his podcast and all that money would he have all his "friends"?
I'm sure he's not a bad guy but he's insufferable on podcasts I used to like him too now I don't watch two bears anymore
I've only known about Bert for maybe 6 months..?! Not sure how he used to be, but he seems to be "humbly narcissistic". Kinda like a kid who won free candy from the candy store for one full year. Over the top excited, and can't seem to let even his own guests speak long without interrupting.
I think he's funny, and has promoted the movie hilariously, and of course "over the top" constantly.
And I definitely see why many get very irked and disappointed with him. You've got to love him, or hate him. And I can see this changing, just as quickly.👍💯✌️🙏
@@jasonwitte3642 joe is a 30+ years comedian, tv, ufc guy... the pods is masive just for the past 5 years.. he still have the same friends and the same people.. i dont think fame chance him like with burt
Will give this JRE a miss, can only handle Bert in small doses. It’s like the more you watch him , the less and less your tolerance gets for him.
Agreed. Even Joe sounds like he is done with the conversation.
Him and Schaub have that effect. They have some "ok" highlights but if you try to listen to them in a long podcast you cant help but think "this guys pretty stupid"
Sounds like my MIL
Schultz and his little butt buddy are annoying too I also don't like bobby Lee much anymore he's admitted to being pretty creepy imo
@@chrism8234 Yeah I agree. Joey Diaz which everyone loves isn’t funny either.His Screaming cocksuckkkka got old pretty quick.
You know it’s gonna suck When someone is this excited to smell their own farts
This has to be a nightmare for Tom Segura, as he was already so sick of hearing "The Machine" story.
We are all sick of hearing the story.
We can only hope this signals the end of that story, but I'm not counting on it
C'mon ,Bart is a sweetheart. Tim adores him
I get a weird feeling that the internet is turning on bert. Good luck buddy 🥰
I don’t get it. He’s literally always been like this. Why ‘turn’ on someone for continuing to be the way they are? He’s immature, but he’s always been…. Nothing changed
@@mr.doctorcaptain1124 idk I just feel a social change in the air. I can’t pinpoint what the problem is.
Not me..I still like bert
@@sojmike4761 that’s good buddy I’m happy for you
Id prefer to watch Bert in alcohol withdrawal
I've heard Bert on 30 podcasts and he always says the same shit. Me me me me and me.
100% he was ok at first but im done with him. Even 2 bears is un watchable for me anymore
@thedude7726 yeah..he has that brendan schaub affect about him.
@@burghs1I prefer Brenda Swab now tbh
Dude needs to be humbled for sure
and me daughter
Rogans energy level is at about a negative 3. Don’t think Brett is going to be back anytime soon.
bert gonna cry seeing the box office results
Comedians movies almost always are a wash in the first place, it would probably have been much better to go straight to Netflix deal or something but I’d imagine with the power of JRE audience it’ll come out alright
i think it will make enough, it cost 35 million to make, it can easily make that back just off jre listeners.
@@JoshJr98 I just looked at box office projection and they believe they will bring in at least $5 million during Memorial Day weekend😂 honestly think that’s a very generous projection that they believe that many eyes will be willing to watch the movie as soon as it comes out.
I'm gonna go watch and support... idc... I used to dislike Bert but I accept him now... people need to chill and let people be
@@Tybolt1 why?
95% sure no one ever called this dude the machine.
This is the thing that kills me
I was a huge drinker in the late 90s and early 2000s and we never would have thought this clown was cool.
I'm not even convinced this guy really drinks like that
“I haven’t cheated on you in like” bruh just outed himself
was looking for this hahaha
*_1:15_**_ for context._*
he slipped up and said his wifes name is stephanie too lol
I’m so excited to see this movie. It’s a movie about a total real event that happened to him. I can’t believe he doesn’t talk about it ever.
What event? I don’t think I’ve ever heard Brett tell a “machine” story. Ever.
@@RandomBogey a lot of people don’t know about this. He doesn’t really mention it ever. It’s not surprising people don’t know him as the Machine
@DEASAR23 you might be surprised to hear. But Van Wilder was based on him. Not a lot of people know this. He never mentioned it. Maybe only once
@@scorpiudr7102 Was that sarcasm or you serious that hes only mentioned it once? I only heard him mention it once.
@DEASAR23 it’s sarcasm bro lol I’m just talking shit
I've never met a Bert fan
You’re watching him on this podcast. And it’s not Joe
Yeah, dude is completely unfunny
The definition of a hack comic. He uses one story to fund his severe alcohol addiction.
I mean I will admit I was a Bert fan when I heard the machine story like 10 years ago, and I watched a show he did on Netflix, but while he seems like a nice guy it’s beyond worn out at this point. Put your fucking shirt on, go to rehab & either learn to have a serious conversation or sit down and write some actual comedy again. After the machine story all he’s done is progressively drink more and in any conversation claim he could be great at whatever it is that’s brought up
Im a fan
Bert has a movie based on some story he made up to impress Joe on a podcast. Awesome.
What part is made up?
Dr Drew actually
Like all of it
@@viking_nor you actually thought it was a true story? Seriously? You need to do some serious self reflection my friend
@@five11four
Yes, he took a trip to Russia when he was in High school and some pics exist that back it up. The rest of the story is complete BS made up by Bert. Even his closest friends call him a compulsive liar. It even seems like Joe is getting tired of Berts nonsense.
I first heard the machine story on Facebook literally like 10 years ago, it’s insane they’re STILL on that. Write some new stuff that doesn’t involve you drunk and shirtless
I think that’s why I didn’t pursue looking at his stand-up stuff.. I loved that story - but after seeing him constantly shirtless and talking about being drunk I just didn’t care to.. cos he turned it into his identity.
But dude alcohol dude weed dude DMT. If they were female they would just talk about their vaginas.
He's very one dimensional. It's sad.
@@firstlast9846 yeah he definitely isn’t a bad comic, his old actual comedy albums about doing acid at Disneyland or how he was like MTVs partier of the year stuff WAS good. But he’s a 50 year old man with kids now who’s still stuck being a sloppy giggly drunk to the point he’s just annoyed everyone into disliking him.
For example Joe is a terrible comic and not really the smartest guy around but millions of people love him because he has a serious side to him and is able to have a real personality and conversations. Bert would be insanely popular again if he just did a little maturing.
He is kind of stuck with it, because that's what some people think is funny.
It's like with Kevin Hart; "haaahaaa small guy"
Bert the biggest narcissist in the entire world
Bert’s whole persona is “hey guys I’m a big fat drunk loser like the rest of u”
Except we don't have Segura, Burr, & Rogan pointing out why we're funny like Bert does...bc He's not funny, it's other comic's reactions that fans actually like
Nailed it.
Big fat drunk college kid, but he's 50.
I'm VERY proud of this comment section so far.
Am I missing something? Why is Bert suddenly so disliked??
@@Kroitk I'm so confused too lol
@@Kroitk people are tired of his sloppy drunk lying bs
@@Kroitk because most of joe's inner circle "comedian" friends are unfunny and people are tired of seeing them.
@@apuapustaja1 it’s mainly just Bert and shaub. 90% of his friends are good comedians. Protect our parks episodes are awesome with Shane, ari and mark. It’s just like how we tolerate Cristina P. We all like Tom and not her. Two bear’s episodes get a lot more views when Bert is not on the podcast.
Joe's class act trying to not to fall asleep with this conversation...
His fake laugh at Bert. Almost as bad as when Joe is making that winsome voice when doing an interview his CIA handler set up.
Watch him with Bert’s Daddy Dice Clay lmao. Joe is visible distraught from the ego issues of these two guests
@Ethan Fox you feel better now right? Get that warm fuzzy feeling inside from leaving that comment?
@@justemusicme some people just can't stand awesomeness...
I’ve never seen someone’s friend circle insulate someone like Joe and Co have insulated Bert
Haven't had an ice pick in your ear today? Listen to kreisher talk about himself for three hours....that outta do it.
🤣🤣🤣
I've never seen Bert's standup, and that will absolutely never change. I can't make it through 30 seconds straight of this vid.
It's bad, I don't recommend
@@MasonBryant I expected nothing else.
Bert sure is in love with himself and this story. He tells it every opportunity he gets. And its probably 75% lies.
87%
For real lol
Pretty sure his classmates would call him out on that.
@@viking_nor none of his classmates confirmed he robbed trains and drank with mobsters. Just he went on the trip and was loser drunk all the time
Who cares it's funny?
"This is an action movie that needs to be seen on the big screen"....Really Bert?....really? Lol come on.
Yep it's up the there with the new DUNE.
Because Bert’s not gonna fit on some bullshit little 32” TV…
Because that’s where the money is lol
It was actually pretty good
If you blow up a balloon and pull the airhole taught so it squeeks and at the same time have a stranger from any pub tell you jokes. You get the same experience as "the movie".
lol
lolz... but you can have booze at the pub!
If insufferable and undeserved success were an encyclopedia entry.
This man has a nationwide comedy tour done exclusively at arenas.
I wish I could interview a Bert fan.
id be glad to interview with you if i get a break from drinking mountain dew and dipping skoal all day. Maybe tuesday .. if your actually being honest.
@@robdagr8te Tha'd be awesome. Tuesday it is.
It would help you prep, my questions will tough on what's so funny with the machine story and why is this man's alcoholism celebrated.
i hope to find someone one day that loves me the way bert loves bert. 😭🙌🏽
When is the internet going to properly turn on Bert? Please soon! Oh wait its happening! Nice
No one loves Bert more than Bert
Only Bert loves Bert.
@@JB-rp6it yes both of these can be true my guy!
Hah every cut to Joe - yawning, pouring coffee, moving the mic. I half expected the seat to be empty next time…
😂😂😂
This is the classic case of someone getting more airtime than they deserve. What does he have over you, Joe?
too many mutual friends
He knows Joe is bisexual
Bert really just talks about himself and laughs at his own jokes… how has he made it this far???
If you knew the answer to that you could replicate it
@@ShotgunSandwichENT maybe you’re right.. luckily that’s not what I want in my life otherwise I’d put time and effort into my videos but he’s the luckiest guy in showbiz. He’s a nice guy, sure, but I’ve never laughed at anything except the machine bit. And everything I see, he just seems to fake laugh at his own jokes… and it’s always about him being a drunk.. it’s kinda boring.. again he seems like a nice guy and fun to hang out with. But not my cup of tea comedy wise…
@@CallingALLmarks I hear ya, but you don’t reach his level of success if you don’t have people that like you. Like really like you enough to spend money on you. I’m not familiar enough with his work to really comment but he obviously provides some type of value to a large enough group that he’s been able to make a living. And I steer away from attributing anything that lasts for years to luck/chance.
@@ShotgunSandwichENT fair enough.
Bert is the type of guy who steals your weed then helps you look for it
😂😂😂
Bert making movies reminds me of Brendan Schaub having a standup career.
This comment wins
😂😂😂
Why criticize a film you never watched?
@@FuhqEwe Bert? Is that you?
@@TheArmchairrocker Have you still not seen it?
Bert was the one hit wonder of comedy that should've been forgotten about shortly after. Now he's fake wheezing instead of naturally laughing in a new attempt to find that viral moment again
It’s hard to dislike him because he seems like such a nice guy but it seems like all of us have really just gotten tired of it lmao. Every time he’s on anything he’s never serious and it’s just a conversation about him being an alcoholic who claims he COULD be good at stuff.
@@PlutoTheGod i think is a fake nice guy.
@@PlutoTheGod
He lacks so much self awareness and so overconfident for a man who isn’t funny and is drinking himself into a coma at 50 despite having kids
I didn't even realize Bert was a comedian when I first saw him on stage. I knew him as the amusement park reviewer guy on the Travel Channel.
I'm impressed at how Bert has made an entire career out of one joke.
Not even a joke..
@@James-pn8mu just a fake af story. And people believe it too. Unbelievable
@@superweedenjoyeryup Soo fake, totally not anything on the Internet or any of his classmates confirming this story is true or anything
@@dinestygamer8857lol, ya not like there's photos and multiple ppl his age confirming it. Also the fact the story hasn't changed at all since he first told it on radio in the early 2000s. So fake.
Dude I watched this hoping to change my perspective on Bert, and he just talked about how amazing he is for 2 hours and it was exactly what I thought it would be…
I've literally never heard Bert say anything funny.
The way Bert talked about his wife just before this in the episode hurts my heart
I’ll pay a JRE subscription to NOT see Burt
This tool made a whole career out of a 1 week trip 30 years ago 😮
So Bert opening acknowledges he jizzed his pants when kissing a girl for a movie. Thanks for sharing Bert...
Now I don't feel so bad about it happening to me.
Calling Bert an actor is like calling a virgin filming their fist time a porn star 😂. And miss me with that bs he didn’t know there was a kiss scene
Bert nearly outed himself cheating there.
"I haven't cheated on you in like...oh ever"
He always says that though, so you can never believe him lmao, like every time we've witnessed him going sober and Tom asks him how long for; and Bert answers "Months" cause he doesnt count weekends or special occacions lol so when he says never....he probably has cheated a handful of times
Did Burt compare himself to Joaquin Phoenix?? 😂😭
Hollywoods had a massive drought of comedy movies since 2010 and now we have this pile of crap. It’s like being offered a cup of motor oil while being stranded on an island.
🎯
I used to feel sorry for Bert's wife. But then I realized at some point she had to say "I do" so its all on her.
Bert is just killing me when he talks now. It just pisses me off when he talks now and the fame went to him so bad.
Joe is amazing but I do resent him for not screening properly the people he decides to donate a career to. Its because of you Joe that we have to tolerate Bert & Brendon.
I’d take two Bert’s to avoid one Brennan/Brenda/wtf it is…
@@RandomBogey Brendan is just a dumb and selfish hack. But Bert is excruciatingly obnoxious, self-absorbed, and fake. I'd take Bapa over Bert, anyday.
What is this "machine" stuff? Ive never heard of him mentioning it a billion times.
Everyone has the “bert” friend in their life. The one who’s kinda annoying and never prepared and always embarrases you. Joe decided to get his “Bert” famous
Bert means well but it’s hard to watch someone talk about themselves so much.
Lol he doesn’t even realize what he does. Then he makes a joke about it that goes over his own head. “I loved watching myself more than a narcissist.” 🤦♂️
I cry everytime I see Brent Kreischer
This is the second movie about bert, just the first one with his name attached to it. Rare to have someone so humble like that.
Once you realize Bert is pathological liar, you can't watch another video without pointing out all of his lies
I literally can't listen to him. The ENTIRE story is made-up make-believe.
Any reference or citation for this claim?
When Bert’s beady little pig’s eyes get really big and he says, “Guyth…guyth…I thwear on the lives of my children, thith really happened! I thwear, guyth!”, that’s how you know that he’s 100% lying.
Joey Diaz should get a movie now
Fuck yeah, but Joey would need a whole tv series. They could easily adapt his book, but idk who could play a young Joey I'm sure there's someone out there.
Why, so he can retell the 80s coke stories we've all heard hundreds of times?
When is Brendan Schaub going to perform at your comedy club man? Dude is the pinnacle of comedy right now.
Please say sike
Y'homeless Bapa?
I laugh more at Schaub than any other human just not his comedy
Larry the cable guy had a movie too.
Bert is like the male version of amy schumer
Does he steal jokes now? Wdym
I mean he is a male Amy Schumer. Simple
Bert is the anthropomorphism of your society in the US.
A 50 year old dude, acting like he's still in high-school, living off of a joke he did years ago.
Dude is also the dictionary definition of "me, myself and I".
Must've got tired of talking about himself, so he made a movie of himself.
Anthropomorphism is a wild word to throw out casually in UA-cam comments….. I had to check the dictionary, but I am not sure it means what you think it means…I really don’t care, but I blame you for making me look it up! 😂
I wish I could say you're wrong, but I can't. Man babies who think they are more than they are abide.
@@roodog430 I think he means personification
Release the Randall Carlson podcast
I'm thinking he don't wanna, because he probably made the rich plasma guy look so bad, that he might end up losing his business leading to future lawsuits. Rogan podcasts have ruined careers that's why it aint live anymore.
He gets so embarrassed for Bert lol
That "ohhhh, Bert..." lmao
I have listened to Bert many years and I haven’t felt awkward until now
Bert’s movie being a legit studio film, is actually mind blowing🤯
2023 Hollywood. All about clicks. Zero zero ZERO substance.
Not really
I'd be more shocked if this loser wasn't famous
Joe is just interviewing his comedian pals these days. I miss when he used to have informative, educated, funny and intelligent guests on his show.
Yeah and they aren't even good comedians 😅
Well every time Joe has someone on thats not just his pal they’re either some pseudoscience weirdo or Joe will talk over them and turn the whole thing into the typical weird facts about aliens drugs and animal meat. Right before he went to spotify was like peak Rogan. I wish he’d get on some Olympic athletes or scientists. some kind of super unique life experience people that you actually want to hear about other than just lame self absorbed celebs or drugged out alien conspiracists
@@blastfiendsunite420
Joe thinking he is a comedian is his best joke
@@blastfiendsunite420 I agree. I don't get their humour at all. The only one of his comedian guests I find funny is Theo Von.
SAME! It’s as if he’s plateaued
Bert drinks his own bath water and calls it champagne.
Lol Bert doesn’t think he’s a narcissist. He’s the first person I think of when I hear the word
Correct 😂
Am I the only person who’s over Bert at this point?
no but you are the only person who commented that hasn't read the comment section
“It came out just as I imagined it”
This guy is proof that we live in a simulation because no way actual people find him funny.
I've always suspected that I wasn't actually a person.
For real 😂😂😂
Ever since I seen this dude a few years ago I’ve got sucked Into the podcast circle jerk and none of it is funny at all. Am I real??
@@42fifty im not even familiar with who he is, too much
this comment confuses me
Least funny man ever
You can almost hear a tiny hint of frustration in Joe’s voice throughout the show, deep down you can tell he’s tired of Bert’s shit, but they’ve been friends for so long, and he no doubt feels sorry for Bert in some way.
Bert cried..... SHOCKING!!!!
If only Bert would laugh more at his own jokes/comments. I'm to the point if I hear his voice...I move on.
“I haven’t cheated on you in like…uh ever” nice sidestep Bert.
Rogans hated that Bert still tells that story for like 10 years, was telling him to ditch it in 2013, calling it a crutch, now 10 years later and its still kind of all Bert has other than trying to go viral by squeeling in every video
Podcasting has oversaturated comedy nowadays.
This will be a bigger hit than the Carrot Top movie.
Bert milked tf outta that bit😂
Nearly every movie that comes out has an advance screening for the media and fans a week or weeks before the release to get talk going. The other day I just saw The Flash which was awesome but Bert’s movie hasn’t had any advance screenings i’m aware of which is a bit weird. Hope the movie does good in the box office
we both know its not
Why?
My farts are funnier than Bert's movie.
Just got out of seeing The Machine, and it is AWESOME! Go support so we can have great comedies again, great job Bert!🖤💛🤟👍✌️
I think that at this point Tom, Joe, Ari, etc. are detached from the reality that Burt is... that not even the laughs seem real anymore... just imagine that when Ari drugged him... they got "angry" 2 minutes that says alot...
the only funny guy in the circle is tony hinchcliffe, even redban is funnier than bert.
@@bcccl569 mr. Diaz is funny asf! Tom to....andrew to...theo to. Tony and David. Chappelle is the goat...But burt... no..
@@santiagosolanonavarro7055 yeah diaz and santino are great. burt and whitney are just unfunny as shit though and there are a lot in that group.