Dude it's been like that for a while. These podcasting things have been bringing on a hell of a lot of begging. Even when people like santino says on bad friends oh I swear I use this all the time I think to myself there's no way he does he doesn't have to work a regular job he doesn't need any of these weird products that help people with like problems and stuff they just want us to buy whatever they're selling no matter if it's trash
@7ItalianStallion come on, I'm a nice guy, it's only a few dollars come behind my pay wall and continue to over use gay jokes to where it gets really uncomfortable
@@7ItalianStallion yeah no shit. The worst is when these guys have a patreon. Literally begging normal people for money, when they are rich. Rogan has the sense not to stoop that low
@@rufusblue8044 not only that, but the Patreon is NEVER worth it. You get like 1 day earlier access to their videos uncensored, it's like they think we're just DYING to see their videos 😂
@@cameronfielder4955 I instantly click off when these fucks start talking about money. Nobody wants to hear a rich person talk about money. Yet they think people give a fuck
Love the guys who just reference ‘Patrice’ to show they’re in the know 😂😂 This generation’s Bill Hicks - in terms of people dropping his name (first only, to show you’re legit!).
My problem with Bert is not only the fact he isn't funny, but also the fact that he is stuck in a permanent state of "drunk uncle hangs out with nephews and friends" behaviour.
I don't think he's funny, but I also don't like him for being a gladhanding careerist liar. All of his stories are lies, and his constant squeal-laugh makes me despise him with all my being.
@@smizzomgmt9957 no, he said not the machine story. I can’t speak for him entirely but I have listened to a lot of 2 bears 1 cave and Bert on Joe Rogan and know I do not find him funny or like his comedy. I still have never listened to the machine story either but that speaks a lot about you as a fan if you think the countless hours of content out of Bert is just the machine story over and over again lmao
@@TheNatZShadow11 never said i was a fan but sometimes he is funny. Thats it. And yea anyone saying they are "fan" would know the machine story. Its his claim to fame. Why are you here if you dont think he is funny at all tho? And why watch his podcast? Lol weirdo
The movie is obviously not good (just like most American films these days) but it will make its money back. It was barely a domestic wide release and the promotion was extremely minimal so they were banking on making their money back with vod sales and streaming rights eventually. Bert is the one that probably convinced screen gems that it will at least do decent business in the theatres.
@@jamk2668 The movie not only didn't make its money back, grossing only $10.7 million against a $20 million production budget, but also bombed at the box office. I don't see it doing very well on Video on Demand. I had never heard anybody talk about this comedian until the movie came out!
I was surprised how much action was in it. The run time was way, way to long. No way it needed to be 2 hours. I’d watch it again. It wasn’t awful… The supporting actors were the best part. Like you said they carried that film.
Supporting actors carried it, the movie has an amazing cast. My favorite is the Russian lady. Her lines were hilarious. It was almost awkward how out of his level Bert was compared to the others.
Disagree. The movie was trash. The whole “I can’t kill people.” Scene by the dad is garbage and the movie probably said the word “machine” a million times
Bert Kreischer is like the comedy and podcasting mascot… he just giggles and smiles while the talented players put in all the work. They just keep him around because he cheers them up.
I dont care about this movie whether it fails or succeeds. Its hard to care about a man who activley dislikes his fans and calls them pedestrians because we're not the same or rich. Man forgets where his money comes from.
Bert comes from an “upper middle class” family, he was never struggling. That’s part of how he was able to stay in college for so long and peruse stand up.
@@Xtractor716 that's a fair point, I had forgotten that was how he grew up. However I still think that, the fact that he had that safety net, as well as the privilege of growing up well off enough does effect how one views his/her acquired wealth, be that from their own or family's. To me, it seems to create more of a disconnect from the star and their fans. In any medium. Thank you for your comment by the way I didn't mean to be/seem combative or bitter. I appreciate the check.
@@Xtractor716 Tom and Bert both grew up rich. Not middle class, but rich. I don’t care except when Bert gets into his rants claiming he’s better than everyone, he’s not. Bert has one memorial bit and Rogan is the reason why he’s popular. Bert needs to get humbled up.
somewhere around the 3rd sober october i slowly started to dislike bert. like his cooking show use to be the sh*t, now its unbearable. i kinda feel bad for him cuz i can see where his career is headed and itll be a bumpy road. life is going to humble him. safe bet id say
I agree 100%, I think once people started to actually learn who he is as a person he became unbearable cause he just a loud lazy narcissistic piece of shit
Honestly I saw this movie with a couple of friends of mine and didn’t hate it, definitely seemed more of a streaming release movie than theatrical release but nonetheless it had some funny scenes, Jimmy Tatro as Young Bert was a great casting choice and I’m glad he’s made that big transition from UA-cam to mainstream movies and tv, also Mark Hamill as Bert’s dad was hilarious and his insults towards Bert got me a few times and this movie did more justice to Mark Hamill than The Last Jedi honestly
Saw it the other night. The movie was OK. I think I would’ve enjoyed it more if I didn’t have the expectation of just seeing a visual representation of the machine comedy bit. I for the most part so it wasn’t funny. I only laughed a couple of times in the movie and they weren’t like uncontrollable laughs. Wild hogs is still funnier, and I’ve seen that 100 times.
F the movie theaters, I can make my own popcorn with real butter and pink Himalayan salt (no microwave bag shit), no margarine sprayed on my popcorn, no shit ass table salt, drink a beer, I have dolby atmos, subwoofer, tactile transducers in the couch with recliners on each end, my girl can drink some wine, the dog lays in the middle, 70" LED TV, should i go on why its better to just stay home? No driving, no finding parking and walking a 1/4 mile to the theater, nobody breaking into your car, no rushing to make the time it starts after working all day. I guess I'm saying F movie theaters, ill see it when I can stream it. So maybe it didn't do good not because it was bad, maybe just because F movie theaters
His peers actually become funnier. Not all of them but they're changing with their audience. Beet is the type of comedian where someone who lives under a rock finally finds his stand up and is dumb enough to think he's funny
Sometimes I just want to have a relaxing night in when I stream a dumb fun comedy movie that doesn't need me to think too much. This sounds about right for that but not to go out of my way to see in the cinema.
I don't know why , but I've never been this disgusted by an actor or comedian than I am with Bert. I have a visceral hate for him that I've never had before, and I'm not sure why.
The way he said… to see if he has a shot in Hollywood like bro he’s one of the biggest comedians in the world it was his first movie lol I think he made it regardless how the movie does
I’ve been wanting a Tropic Thunder sequel ever since the day I went to the theater and saw it! I was just telling my daughter a few days ago about how it’s legit one of the funniest and most clever movies ever made.
Also I hate to say this but this is the most original movie out in Hollywood. Think about it. It is not a remake, it is not a sequel and the story is legit original. Most original story in theaters in years.
Yeah but it is a story he already beat to DEATH, and the only people who will even think about seeing this movie are the ones who have heard Bert tell this story over and over again already.
I can't believe this movie exists, the cover alone is offensive to my senses. Sometimes I just feel so out of touch with what other people find enjoyable.
um, to be honest, i (know this is hard to believe) dont think most people know who the heck Bert is (even with the the marketing effort) Unless you follow stand up comedy, JRE, etc, nobody knows who the dude is.
It did well with his audience but that is all they marketed it to and maybe should have tried to expand their marketing efforts to pull in a bigger audience. While he can sell out stadiums, that is still a small percentage of the actual population.
But what if we prefer comedians in their natural environment: on a podcast, complaining about being victims to pretty much everything and whining about ‘civilians’? There is a reason there is no Tom Segura or Theo Von movie 😂
I remember about 5 years ago a coworker swore he had to show me one of the funniest comedians to ever hit the stage. We went on through the day as he hyped it up and finally when we had time to spare, I had to sit through an excruciating video of a loud obnoxious shirtless bozo tell a bs story about being a drunk buffoon... it was Bert on stage, obviously. I didn't laugh just sort of smiled and entertained my buddies attempt to share something with me. Since then ive always despised his " comedy " and " jokes" and seeing this channel now I realize I wasn't alone.
Eventually I’ll watch it when it streams! Then I can watch it and turn it off if I can’t stand looking at Kreischer. I can only take him in short segments ! I’m trying to like him.
i was expecting it to be decent tbh i'll probably watch it. i never watch actual bert content and i feel like a movie will be a tolerable medium for him
How this was made into a film is as Tim Dillon sais is an "Abomination", this is some sort of leg up that he really doesnt deserve or need. The guy is not funny whatsoever, lets be honest we all know that, maybe his Dad funded it or used his cash to get it done, but my God- how is this acceptable as humour.!?
Most people were over it before it came out. Their will be a sequel I'm sure. Was hoping he would just let the movie speak for itself and open up the doors for good comedy movies again. But if Betty doesn't shut up already, it'll just fade away.
Calling Mark Hamill a “great actor” is your first clue that this guy isn’t living on the same plane of existence as the rest of us. I wouldn’t watch it for free, let alone pay to see such dross.
Who would care about a Tom & Bert movie, Tim Dillon or Schultz... of course they all want to do movies to feed their own ego's, but who's gonna watch that....
It might feel like it when you follow them all but jre and co is nowhere near the marketing machine as Disney and even universal They’ve been promoting them for years before the machine was written and overseas too
Considering there was a time when Joe was critical of Bert still making the rounds with that story, it's funny that they expect people to still care enough to see an entire movie on it
I don’t remember like Bert too much but I watched the movie last night and had a great time, it’s obviously a little cringey but it’s pretty funny (I’ll definitely watch again)
Question - Would you be as hard on the movie, if you never heard of Bert? I havent seen the movie yet, So im just taking your review at face value - a dude on the internet and his opinion. So if Bert was an unknown person, would you still feel the same way about the movie
Ive tried to like bert for a long time but i havent been able to sit through and finish any of his specials. So id not pay for his movie. I think i tolerate him because im a huge segura fan
Who really goes to the movies anymore and if people do, is the machine a theater movie. I think not. I wish I could of bet on the flop. Not sure how Bert or anyone would think different.
I think this movie had more problems with overall management of it and not the movie itself. First of all, recognize the demographic. 23-38 male audience that enjoy watching content online. Starting there, release date is terrible. That demographic isn’t going to the movies let alone on Memorial Day weekend. The marketing was online mostly which shows the ridiculous way of thinking lol so with that being said it should’ve been stream only with a lower budget. As for the movie itself I think they should’ve went in the direction of Bert’s original standup bit being recreated. I think opening the movie with him on stage doing the close of the machine bit and crushing it with the audience and then him sitting down with other comedians like Rogan and Segura at dinner after and they’re so excited about him killing it and then questioning if the story was real or not and then boom they role into the movie as he narrates the bit and have an actual actor that looks like his younger self play out the entire bit with him chiming in here and there to break..like let’s say the movie is interrupted with something happening at the table that interrupts the action like a random person like a Bill Burr rolls up to the restaurant and starts roasting everyone at the table and says who’s the new fat guy or something and Bert’s like that’s tucking bill burr he just said I killed it! Then back into the “movie”. Lots of opportunities for breaking the fourth wall etc and they could’ve gotten so silly with it. But that’s just me and my idiot opinion lol
Should've waited and released this movie in the off season when none of the major studios have anything good out. Also should've done more marketing i've maybe seen like 1 trailer for this movie but heard him talk about it on JRE like 4 different times
💯 agree man... Ive actually only watched the trailer myself and I could already see how wooden and skill-less Bert was... (A former actor myself). Its not as easy as people think.... Believe it or not their is actual skill required to do great work.
If anyone thought this movie was going to be a hit, they should reevaluate their life. Not sure how you can categorize this movie as “off-brand” when you look at which companies were behind the production and distribution. This was a major release, not some barely marketed indie thing. Bert is one-dimensional and his schtick was played out, 5 years ago.
I can barely stand to listen to Bert for free. No way I’m spending money to watch him shirtless on the big screen.
Exactly. He's legit insufferable
properly summarized:")
I hate him doing but I'm going to see this because I'm bored and it's 8 bucks lol
Well Bert is more enjoyable than this content creator.. but that doesnt say much tbh.
best comment - i 100% agree - ive always felt bert was wildly willy overrated. i dont uberstand his popularity
Honestly I'm just over the machine story
im over burt. cash me outside chick from doctor phil made more sense than this guy being famous
@@republicangenz Seriously. He's a narcissistic dipshit. Fuck Bert.
They should've just launched it last year the Russian War be damned
Everyone is
I've never heard it and don't care to either.
Bert Kreischer is the Nickelback of comedy. Except I don't secretly keep a Bert Kreischer CD in my car.
Epic comment
Hilarious
I’m taking this what’s your name I need to credit you 😂
This made me hyena laugh
I’ve never related to something so much
It's getting to the point where it feels like people are trying to guilt you for them to be famous.
Dude it's been like that for a while. These podcasting things have been bringing on a hell of a lot of begging. Even when people like santino says on bad friends oh I swear I use this all the time I think to myself there's no way he does he doesn't have to work a regular job he doesn't need any of these weird products that help people with like problems and stuff they just want us to buy whatever they're selling no matter if it's trash
@7ItalianStallion come on, I'm a nice guy, it's only a few dollars come behind my pay wall and continue to over use gay jokes to where it gets really uncomfortable
@@7ItalianStallion yeah no shit. The worst is when these guys have a patreon. Literally begging normal people for money, when they are rich. Rogan has the sense not to stoop that low
@@rufusblue8044 not only that, but the Patreon is NEVER worth it. You get like 1 day earlier access to their videos uncensored, it's like they think we're just DYING to see their videos 😂
@@cameronfielder4955 I instantly click off when these fucks start talking about money. Nobody wants to hear a rich person talk about money. Yet they think people give a fuck
I wish i could see Patrice rip bert apart 😂
Maaaaannnn. Seriously. He wouldn't exist.
Love the guys who just reference ‘Patrice’ to show they’re in the know 😂😂 This generation’s Bill Hicks - in terms of people dropping his name (first only, to show you’re legit!).
❤
Patrice and Greg Giraldo would brutalize Bert and Brenda.
Right!!?? How is this accepted as comedy
My problem with Bert is not only the fact he isn't funny, but also the fact that he is stuck in a permanent state of "drunk uncle hangs out with nephews and friends" behaviour.
And is in denial constantly about his alcoholism
I don't think he's funny, but I also don't like him for being a gladhanding careerist liar. All of his stories are lies, and his constant squeal-laugh makes me despise him with all my being.
I don't like most of his standup or podcast, but it was an enjoyable movie
he only wants to talk about himself lol
Here me out. Tom Segura isn’t funny either.
5:42 the way Joe says ‘oh Bert’ is so like a disapproving mother listening to their dumb son 😂😂 it cracks me up.
Who doesn’t wear underwear🤣🤣
If this movie isn't a sure sign that Hollywood's dead, IDK what is. They're toast.
Not dead just no one goes to movies in droves. Been waiting for avatar 2 for over a decade and I’ll probably watch next year sometime
@@daylight3325naw they are dying for sure. And good riddance.
The non-stop remakes and sequels weren't enough for ya?
@@sergiootero5904 HEY! GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT VERY SOLID AND GOOD WHILE ALSO OBVIOUS TAKE!
@@sergiootero5904 Preach! There hasn't been a truly original film in decades. The Marvel and Star Wars garbage is all that's left.
I can honestly say I've avoided ever hearing the machine story lol
Why? So you have never listened to anything from Bert but come to his UA-cam videos just to hate?
@@smizzomgmt9957 That’s the internet in a nutshell.
@@smizzomgmt9957 no, he said not the machine story. I can’t speak for him entirely but I have listened to a lot of 2 bears 1 cave and Bert on Joe Rogan and know I do not find him funny or like his comedy. I still have never listened to the machine story either but that speaks a lot about you as a fan if you think the countless hours of content out of Bert is just the machine story over and over again lmao
@@TheNatZShadow11 never said i was a fan but sometimes he is funny. Thats it. And yea anyone saying they are "fan" would know the machine story. Its his claim to fame. Why are you here if you dont think he is funny at all tho? And why watch his podcast? Lol weirdo
@@TheNatZShadow11 most of his content is him weezing and fake laughing
If he hadn't said the story 10 thousand times already, and he maybe took a couple acting classes, they could have broken even on the movie at least.
The movie is obviously not good (just like most American films these days) but it will make its money back. It was barely a domestic wide release and the promotion was extremely minimal so they were banking on making their money back with vod sales and streaming rights eventually. Bert is the one that probably convinced screen gems that it will at least do decent business in the theatres.
@@jamk2668 The movie not only didn't make its money back, grossing only $10.7 million against a $20 million production budget, but also bombed at the box office. I don't see it doing very well on Video on Demand. I had never heard anybody talk about this comedian until the movie came out!
You can see Joe cringing in pain hearing Bart retell the kiss scene story.
"i haven't cheated on you in like...ugh...ever". slip up haha
I heard that too
I was surprised how much action was in it. The run time was way, way to long. No way it needed to be 2 hours. I’d watch it again. It wasn’t awful… The supporting actors were the best part. Like you said they carried that film.
Wow what fucking loser 💀💀💀💀💀
Supporting actors carried it, the movie has an amazing cast. My favorite is the Russian lady. Her lines were hilarious. It was almost awkward how out of his level Bert was compared to the others.
@@angelgjr1999 totally agree. I like her brother too. I thought he did a great job too.
Look at Frasier, that show, the main guy wasn't the best or funniest, he had a by far better cast around him and were the highlight vs him.
Disagree. The movie was trash. The whole “I can’t kill people.” Scene by the dad is garbage and the movie probably said the word “machine” a million times
Bert Kreischer is like the comedy and podcasting mascot… he just giggles and smiles while the talented players put in all the work. They just keep him around because he cheers them up.
Does he though? I think his success comes from the fact that he's good at marketing. But I think his squeel gets old for everyone
Loose pants and no underwear to the kissing scene is the grossest scumbag move ever.
☹
Don’t forget Bret is also racist!
@@angelgjr1999oh, good to know. I guess I won't watch Bret's movie either.. 🙃
Yes so gross
I hate him in glad he proves why
Id rather watch Macgruber on repeat 100 times than five minutes of Bert doing anything. Somehow i bet its more true to reality too
Dude Magruber is sooooo good
Macgruber will get multiple genuine laughs out of you.
Magruber rules.
Don’t forget the ufc promoted “The Machine” on the corner of the cage for 2-3 events
people are surprised? itll do a little better when it gets put on streaming services but its not surprising
Who said anyone surprised 😂
I was surprised how empty the theatre was on Memorial Day. I was literally just me and like 4 other guys in the whole room…
@@angelgjr1999 i had a similar experience i didnt think it would be that bad tho
@@angelgjr1999 it's Bert lol. How would it be good?
His role was supposed to be sober 😭
I dont care about this movie whether it fails or succeeds. Its hard to care about a man who activley dislikes his fans and calls them pedestrians because we're not the same or rich. Man forgets where his money comes from.
Bert comes from an “upper middle class” family, he was never struggling. That’s part of how he was able to stay in college for so long and peruse stand up.
@@Xtractor716 that's a fair point, I had forgotten that was how he grew up. However I still think that, the fact that he had that safety net, as well as the privilege of growing up well off enough does effect how one views his/her acquired wealth, be that from their own or family's. To me, it seems to create more of a disconnect from the star and their fans. In any medium. Thank you for your comment by the way I didn't mean to be/seem combative or bitter. I appreciate the check.
@@thedecendent17 definitely didn’t take it in a combative way 👍🏻. Looks like we completely agree here. 👌🏻
@@Xtractor716 Tom and Bert both grew up rich. Not middle class, but rich. I don’t care except when Bert gets into his rants claiming he’s better than everyone, he’s not. Bert has one memorial bit and Rogan is the reason why he’s popular. Bert needs to get humbled up.
@@angelgjr1999a memorial bit?
somewhere around the 3rd sober october i slowly started to dislike bert. like his cooking show use to be the sh*t, now its unbearable. i kinda feel bad for him cuz i can see where his career is headed and itll be a bumpy road. life is going to humble him. safe bet id say
I agree 100%, I think once people started to actually learn who he is as a person he became unbearable cause he just a loud lazy narcissistic piece of shit
I honestly thought in this day and age that they can make anyone look good in a movie...guess not
This might be the gayest comment on UA-cam.
Honestly I saw this movie with a couple of friends of mine and didn’t hate it, definitely seemed more of a streaming release movie than theatrical release but nonetheless it had some funny scenes, Jimmy Tatro as Young Bert was a great casting choice and I’m glad he’s made that big transition from UA-cam to mainstream movies and tv, also Mark Hamill as Bert’s dad was hilarious and his insults towards Bert got me a few times and this movie did more justice to Mark Hamill than The Last Jedi honestly
Don’t try and tempt me in with my mark h affection / anger at the last jedi!
raving review...in other words, it sucks
So this is the type of person that allows this cringelord to sell out arenas. Just easily satisfied by garbage as long as it passes the time
Saw it the other night. The movie was OK. I think I would’ve enjoyed it more if I didn’t have the expectation of just seeing a visual representation of the machine comedy bit. I for the most part so it wasn’t funny. I only laughed a couple of times in the movie and they weren’t like uncontrollable laughs. Wild hogs is still funnier, and I’ve seen that 100 times.
Me and my girl walked out 25 minutes I. It was an embarrassing movie
I hated the fact he was using peoples love for when comedy movies were popular and actually funny as a guilt trip to go see his
The machine really is the wonder wall of comedy now
F the movie theaters, I can make my own popcorn with real butter and pink Himalayan salt (no microwave bag shit), no margarine sprayed on my popcorn, no shit ass table salt, drink a beer, I have dolby atmos, subwoofer, tactile transducers in the couch with recliners on each end, my girl can drink some wine, the dog lays in the middle, 70" LED TV, should i go on why its better to just stay home? No driving, no finding parking and walking a 1/4 mile to the theater, nobody breaking into your car, no rushing to make the time it starts after working all day. I guess I'm saying F movie theaters, ill see it when I can stream it.
So maybe it didn't do good not because it was bad, maybe just because F movie theaters
As time goes on, Bert becomes less funny where as his friends and peers stay funny
His peers actually become funnier. Not all of them but they're changing with their audience. Beet is the type of comedian where someone who lives under a rock finally finds his stand up and is dumb enough to think he's funny
We've already heard the machine story multiple times. Why would you go see a movie about it? 🤷♂️
Sometimes I just want to have a relaxing night in when I stream a dumb fun comedy movie that doesn't need me to think too much. This sounds about right for that but not to go out of my way to see in the cinema.
that old chestnut: "...and i think people will be surprised..."
I don't know why , but I've never been this disgusted by an actor or comedian than I am with Bert. I have a visceral hate for him that I've never had before, and I'm not sure why.
Probably because your life sucks
The way he said… to see if he has a shot in Hollywood like bro he’s one of the biggest comedians in the world it was his first movie lol I think he made it regardless how the movie does
Great video brother
Much appreciated
it will suck if it tanks. i want Tropic Thunder ||
I’ve been wanting a Tropic Thunder sequel ever since the day I went to the theater and saw it! I was just telling my daughter a few days ago about how it’s legit one of the funniest and most clever movies ever made.
@@jacks1bonnielass100%, it's so funny
I don't know whether it's comical or sad that some people thought Brent Krustmoore's movie was gonna do good...
If he did that movie like 6 years ago it might be funny
Haha yes
I’m not surprised. Bert’s grift is super annoying. Congrats on milking that cow to the bone.
Also I hate to say this but this is the most original movie out in Hollywood. Think about it. It is not a remake, it is not a sequel and the story is legit original. Most original story in theaters in years.
Yeah but it is a story he already beat to DEATH, and the only people who will even think about seeing this movie are the ones who have heard Bert tell this story over and over again already.
I can't believe this movie exists, the cover alone is offensive to my senses. Sometimes I just feel so out of touch with what other people find enjoyable.
This would have been an amazing Netflix special movie
They should’ve had Danny McBride be Bert.
um, to be honest, i (know this is hard to believe) dont think most people know who the heck Bert is (even with the the marketing effort)
Unless you follow stand up comedy, JRE, etc, nobody knows who the dude is.
To quote someone who said this about gringo papi, if they were to show this on a plane I'd still walk out
To be honest, Mark Hamill has never been a good actor either everyone just loves him because he was Luke Skywalker
Joe looked like he was struggling in that interview with Birf
The movie was amazing! I’m biased but seeing it in theaters was so worth it, dude just do it if you haven’t please 🙏
Hi Bert
Hi Berts Dad
This man has the permanent drunk stutter
It did well with his audience but that is all they marketed it to and maybe should have tried to expand their marketing efforts to pull in a bigger audience. While he can sell out stadiums, that is still a small percentage of the actual population.
Bert’s fans are the equivalent of real life Squidbillies
Lol awesome
I'm not a bert fan but this needs to succeed just for comedy. We need more movies with comedians
"We need the Pauly Shore movie to do well. For the art."
Bro fr people need to stop hating on things for no reason
@@marcosgin777 like if this movie does good more comedians can make movies and some are gonna be funny as shit so it's a win win man
But what if we prefer comedians in their natural environment: on a podcast, complaining about being victims to pretty much everything and whining about ‘civilians’? There is a reason there is no Tom Segura or Theo Von movie 😂
Bert Kreischer movie flops. Who woulda thunk!?
9:15 Bert doesn’t have to work hard, that’s his magic! He’s gonna be our Clint Eastwood and he’s just getting started baby!!!
you were offended no one showed up to Berts movie? what? thats weird af lol
So it's like The Room but with a bigger budge it ?
I remember about 5 years ago a coworker swore he had to show me one of the funniest comedians to ever hit the stage. We went on through the day as he hyped it up and finally when we had time to spare, I had to sit through an excruciating video of a loud obnoxious shirtless bozo tell a bs story about being a drunk buffoon... it was Bert on stage, obviously. I didn't laugh just sort of smiled and entertained my buddies attempt to share something with me. Since then ive always despised his " comedy " and " jokes" and seeing this channel now I realize I wasn't alone.
Eventually I’ll watch it when it streams! Then I can watch it and turn it off if I can’t stand looking at Kreischer. I can only take him in short segments ! I’m trying to like him.
He's funny in the same way that watching a over sized gerbil die of alcohol poisoning is funny.
the movie is a fun watch. it has a few chuckels and some nice bloody action scenes... is it a masterpiece? no. but it is good for a fun watch
You are great. Someone’s content I believe in.
Holy shit. I didn't know this was in theaters! I just saw it on UA-cam. This isn't any worse than other dumb comedy movies. It was a fun time
i was expecting it to be decent tbh i'll probably watch it. i never watch actual bert content and i feel like a movie will be a tolerable medium for him
I’ve never heard The Machine story and never will. I honestly couldn’t care less about Bert. He’s terrible.
How this was made into a film is as Tim Dillon sais is an "Abomination", this is some sort of leg up that he really doesnt deserve or need. The guy is not funny whatsoever, lets be honest we all know that, maybe his Dad funded it or used his cash to get it done, but my God- how is this acceptable as humour.!?
Most people were over it before it came out. Their will be a sequel I'm sure. Was hoping he would just let the movie speak for itself and open up the doors for good comedy movies again. But if Betty doesn't shut up already, it'll just fade away.
I have never actually heard the story but after hearing him talk about it so many times, i think I'll pass 🤣
Calling Mark Hamill a “great actor” is your first clue that this guy isn’t living on the same plane of existence as the rest of us. I wouldn’t watch it for free, let alone pay to see such dross.
Who would care about a Tom & Bert movie, Tim Dillon or Schultz... of course they all want to do movies to feed their own ego's, but who's gonna watch that....
The movie was really good
Not a Bert fan even tbh, but it was a good movie
Not a Bert fan, however I did enjoy the movie! Action comedy. Streamed obv cos I'm not mental.
Sorry Bert, not dropping $100 at the theaters when it will drop on Netflix in a couple months.
It might feel like it when you follow them all but jre and co is nowhere near the marketing machine as Disney and even universal
They’ve been promoting them for years before the machine was written and overseas too
Marvel better give Mark a role in another Starwars movie before he dies, so he doesn't end up like Ray Liotta, where his last movie is a meme.
Considering there was a time when Joe was critical of Bert still making the rounds with that story, it's funny that they expect people to still care enough to see an entire movie on it
Flop or not you gotta respect his hustle.
Not a lot of people went to see Carrot Top in Chairman of the Board, either. Bert is a hack.
Yeah, Joe is a podcaster, but I've had friends like Joe. He did *not* want to hear that kissing story.
I don’t remember like Bert too much but I watched the movie last night and had a great time, it’s obviously a little cringey but it’s pretty funny (I’ll definitely watch again)
It was better than I thought it was going to be
Question - Would you be as hard on the movie, if you never heard of Bert? I havent seen the movie yet, So im just taking your review at face value - a dude on the internet and his opinion. So if Bert was an unknown person, would you still feel the same way about the movie
Ive tried to like bert for a long time but i havent been able to sit through and finish any of his specials. So id not pay for his movie. I think i tolerate him because im a huge segura fan
It baffles me that Bert is getting all these opportunities without being slightly funny!! Terrible comedy! Terrible story teller!!
Christian Bale can make him self sweat on cue. Your body can act if you can act
5:34 "I don't wear underwear"
OH MY GOD .. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
Who really goes to the movies anymore and if people do, is the machine a theater movie. I think not. I wish I could of bet on the flop. Not sure how Bert or anyone would think different.
I think this movie had more problems with overall management of it and not the movie itself. First of all, recognize the demographic. 23-38 male audience that enjoy watching content online. Starting there, release date is terrible. That demographic isn’t going to the movies let alone on Memorial Day weekend. The marketing was online mostly which shows the ridiculous way of thinking lol so with that being said it should’ve been stream only with a lower budget. As for the movie itself I think they should’ve went in the direction of Bert’s original standup bit being recreated. I think opening the movie with him on stage doing the close of the machine bit and crushing it with the audience and then him sitting down with other comedians like Rogan and Segura at dinner after and they’re so excited about him killing it and then questioning if the story was real or not and then boom they role into the movie as he narrates the bit and have an actual actor that looks like his younger self play out the entire bit with him chiming in here and there to break..like let’s say the movie is interrupted with something happening at the table that interrupts the action like a random person like a Bill Burr rolls up to the restaurant and starts roasting everyone at the table and says who’s the new fat guy or something and Bert’s like that’s tucking bill burr he just said I killed it! Then back into the “movie”. Lots of opportunities for breaking the fourth wall etc and they could’ve gotten so silly with it. But that’s just me and my idiot opinion lol
How many times can you tell the same story? Jesus Christ, I already seen Van Wilder, I don't need to see this goofballs movie.
Hate to say it, but Bert needed to be humbled. He started acting weird once he only did arenas.
Should've waited and released this movie in the off season when none of the major studios have anything good out. Also should've done more marketing i've maybe seen like 1 trailer for this movie but heard him talk about it on JRE like 4 different times
I enjoyed the movie. My daughter took for my birthday. She had a great time. Thanks Bert.
I don’t care how funny it is. I have absolutely no desire to drag my ass to a theater to see anything anymore
You're very kind that film was a 4 max
He's overrated. His squeaky laugh is fake. He is where he is because of who he is friends with.
E X A C T L Y .
💯 agree man... Ive actually only watched the trailer myself and I could already see how wooden and skill-less Bert was... (A former actor myself). Its not as easy as people think.... Believe it or not their is actual skill required to do great work.
nah im good. their are real comedians that could use that money.
Problem with the movie on UA-cam is that it can only be bought:/
If anyone thought this movie was going to be a hit, they should reevaluate their life. Not sure how you can categorize this movie as “off-brand” when you look at which companies were behind the production and distribution. This was a major release, not some barely marketed indie thing. Bert is one-dimensional and his schtick was played out, 5 years ago.
If “cocaine bear” was a person
love ur videos man