No More: Working Together To End Domestic Violence | The Man Enough Podcast
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Disclaimer: This episode includes discussions of sensitive topics, such as sexual assault and domestic violence. Listener discretion is advised.
Jane Randel and Pamela Zaballa, the leaders of NO MORE, a global domestic violence initiative and long-term advisors to Justin Baldoni’s upcoming film “It Ends WIth Us,” join for a truly unique discussion about the complex causes of intimate partner violence, generational cycles of abuse, and the burning need for empathy and inclusion towards men in these conversations.
Jamey, Justin, and Liz bravely open up about their personal experiences as survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. Liz shines a light on the gaslighting and self-deception survivors face, staying in relationships that might appear flawless to the outside world. Jamey vulnerably shares his experiences with sexual assault and molestation from a young age, processing his trauma later in life, and how he's since discovered a deep sense of peace and self-acceptance.
Learn about NO MORE’s first of its kind collaboration with Wayfarer Studios on “It Ends With Us”, emphasizing the powerful role media and entertainment can play in creating narratives of change that encourage survivors to share their stories.
Timecodes:
(00:33) - We have to stop talking to men as if they perpetrators of abuse
(05:54) - Welcome Jane Randel and Pamela Zaballa
(07:19) - No More’s input on “It Ends With Us”
(11:20) - How men can correct cycles of abuse
(17:50) - When was the last time you didn’t feel enough?
(19:04) - Spotting early signs of abuse and power imbalance in relationships
(26:27) - Trauma’s role in toxic relationships
(31:26) - The complexities of sexual violence and trauma comparison
(39:44) - Child survivors of domestic abuse/ How witnessing abuse affects children
(47:20) - Liz’s Story, the Importance of Sharing Stories
(58:32) - The importance of accountability in male friendships
(1:01:20) - Why men work towards awareness
(1:12:23) - No More x “It Ends With Us”
About NO MORE:
The NO MORE Foundation is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by increasing awareness, inspiring action, and fueling culture change. With more than 1,400 allied organizations and state, local, and international chapters, NO MORE sparks grassroots activism, encouraging everyone-women and men, youth and adults, from all walks of life-to be part of the solution. The Foundation creates and provides public awareness campaigns, educational resources and community organizing tools free-of-charge for anyone wanting to stop and prevent violence. First launched in 2013, NO MORE has brought together the largest coalition of advocacy groups, service providers, governmental agencies, major corporations, universities, communities and individuals, all under a common brand and a unifying symbol in support of a world free of violence. For more information,please visit nomore.org/
Guest Socials
Instagram: / nomoreorg
Twitter: / nomoreorg
Facebook: / nomore
HOSTS:Justin Baldoni Liz Plank, and Jamey Heath
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Jamey Heath Facebook: / jameyjaz
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PRODUCED BY:
Wayfarer Studios: www.wayfarerst...
Wayfarer Studios UA-cam: / wayfarerentertainment
P&G Studios
Executive Producers: Justin Baldoni, Jamey Heath, Tarah Malhotra-Feinberg, Marc Pritchard, Anna Saalfeld, Chris Corcoran
Producer: Kayla Nicholson
This conversation was recorded in September 2023
Justin, listening to the podcast always makes me think honestly about my own flaws and to pray about them. Be vulnerable about them. To cry every time knowing those tears will help me grow.
So glad to hear that it connects with you. Thank you for sharing and being part of our community.
Hearing you guys at the end talking about "if men are the problem we're also the solution" and talking about not letting other men get away with bad behaviour... It's making me cry. There's so little of men's voices in the feminist space and it really warms my heart to see men being a part of the conversation, listening, and being advocates for all of us under the patriarchy.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing with us. 🧡
Even if all that happened seems "small" but injures your moral fiber or your ability to know yourself in a "good light". It is abuse.
For a perp to manipulate and have you feel powerless is extremely corruptive.
Yes, we need to validate, not gaslight. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Thinking back to all the talk about Justin being cast as Ryle now I see why Justin was the perfect choice. How many people said I can't see Justin as Ryle he is just too nice? I am sure that if asked about the man a friend is being abused by the response would be "oh he is too nice he would never do that." Justin's portrayal of Ryle will hopefully help people to see it just isn't people that are nasty or mean. Great casting choice.
You do he know he's playing a role. A role made by women who often lie. Oh women are 2 nice so it's extremely rare women don't about these things that men emotionally invested because their to nice
Can't wait for you to see this film. Glad to hear that this conversation helped to make it clear why Justin is exactly the right director and star for this film. Thanks for sharing!
Justin, did you speak with abusers before making this movie? Please get Lundy Bancroft onto the show, please.
In respects to "Comparing" my abuse to someone elss, the thought that came to mind is validating someone elses abuse does not invalidate yours. Like it was said, abuse is about everyones own experience and keeping that in mind you can help others by validating their abuse even if it doesn't look like your own. Great discussion!
Liz, if you’re comfortable sharing, could you please do an episode telling the full story of that relationship experience?
She talks about this and some other challenging relationship experiences in her host-only episodes:
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ua-cam.com/video/Eg2Cf2ATItI/v-deo.html
Coming in late but I really hope that someone from the podcasts reads this.
Around 55:00 you start talking about "love" without going into what that is. This I feel you need to do better on. As a society we're massively confused about what love means. We use the word all the time but we never stop to check if we're actually talking about the same thing. I'd argue that what Liz felt in her relationship was not love but, cathect or a conditioning to what we tend to belive is love. The same goes for her partner in relationship to her.
Bell Hooks argues in her book, 'All About Love' , that love is an all or nothing kind of deal. As in, if there's abuse, then the rest that might be parts of what love is does NOT constitue as love. Love can not co-exist with abuse, and just having this understanding of what love actually is would help a lot of people. Men and women alike.
I really recommend the cast (and everyone really) to read 'All About Love' and recurrinlgy bring up the topic when the word 'love' is mentioned, and in time hopefully make a dedicate episode for it.
As a taster, the short definition for love that Hooks uses in her book is;
"the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth"
i would also like to hear Justin's experience being abused very important for men to start talking about this.
The Nazis we told about don't exist their characters the left pictures imaginary of the right
Justin has spoken about it periodically on the show, and writes about it in the MAN ENOUGH book. We agree it's really important for men to start talking about this more openly.
i like that Justin very empowering! I f we are the cause than we can be the solution !
Oh 💩 my girlfriend points out flows in me . Oh 💩 my girlfriend makes me feel insecure oh 💩 my most violent men were raised by single mothers
Wow this was mind blowing, the level of empathy shown by all of you is incredible. Thanks for making this type of content. ❤
Thank you for being here! So glad you're part of our community.
Awareness & Accountability are keys for real change. Enjoyed the conversation.❤
Pointing your girlfriend's flows is abuse. The same how can't handle accountability go on about accountability
Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for joining us.
This is so important. I grew up in an abusive family. He beat mom and when he was finished, he beat me. We lived in fear since we never knew when he would snap. It all ended in disaster. I’m now 57, and I’m still affected. Thank you for the job you do. Anyone facing discrimination due to skin color is subjected to racism. Stop dividing people by color. As a Swede, this concept of race and color is foreign. Nothing good comes by division.
So important to have the changes done ! Re veal the shame from domestic violence.
53:30 Those "shelters for men who are violent" are called jails.
53:34 Correct. Women should not be giving up their benefits by leaving. But, the issue is that if they stay, the violent person can easily find them, and continue the violence.
Let's not forget the culture that allows, if not celebrates people who act abusively and call them "jerks" or bad-tempered. As you know emotional and sexual abuse is still a form of control. The field of talking to people, respecting others, this needs to evolve.
@@sandrameza1644 The field of talking to people can happen in jail. Consequences and rehabilitation via professionals can happen simultaneously.
Pionting out flows in your girl friend holding her accountable is abuse. And what about abuse cominh from women. Mother's sisters
What makes you think that?
How do we know your not settling up Men to be victims . telling them they deserve to it
Are they saying that?
So taking care of your health is a red flag
Also not it.
So Caring about your male partner is a red flag
It is not.