Watch how people treat you compared to others. If there's a difference, be careful. Also, be careful of people who seem a little too happy or compliment you a little too much, especially early on in the friendship/relationship. They could be love bombing you, only to completely change later on. I've learned these lessons over decades of dealing with toxic people.
I agree as well. They always say watch out for the quiet ones, but reading between the lines has proven time and time again to watch out for the loud ones. Over friendly people usually slip up pretty quickly and it's easy to spot a deviation from their normal behavior. We all slip, but the deviation is usually so drastic that it becomes obvious the friendliness is a mask.
I understand this completely. The youngest of 6 children and a single parent, I learned to keep my mouth shut and pay attention to everything. Still do it to this day
@@christinelucas3814That part... Right there. Everybody calls you a Debbie Downer because they want to enjoy the charming charismatic person. Later when the person removes the mask, to act a fool and reek havoc, they blame you "why didn't you tell me?"
I grew up with my father being a business owner. I also worked for him for quite awhile. So I became accustomed to be around "the boss". Every company I've worked for since then, I've always gotten along with the owner of the company. Probably because I never get nervous around them. MIddle management has been a different story. The "guy with the most keys" is always a pain in the ass.
Totally relatable. My nickname is ‘the real CEO’ throughout my career in different multinationals. I often meet with jealousy or uncertainty because of the relaxed, less formal and open way of interacting the board members I assist quickly adopt towards myself. They’re often open to my ideas when asked. Be correct, trustworthy, loyal, honest, genuine, calm, observing and know when to speak and when to stay in the background. Learn how your supervisor thinks so that he/she doesn’t has to ask for everything. Own your mistakes and apologize when you made one. Be careful not to overstep hierarchical boundaries.
The key is to not react or go crazy when you understand what you are observing. This is the lesson here for me. I found it to be a potential curse to read body language and being intuitive as I was reacting to that not so hidden reality, while others push back based on words... It is truly tough to keep that balance and to manage our emotions.
Yes! Being overly sensitive/intuitive is a real problem -- feeling the demons people carry with them is daunting, and makes living in this world difficult.
This man is a sheer genius at explaining body language, and how it connects to the real life subtext of people & real feelings and their real thoughts on things as shown in hidden gestures etc.
All so true. My father always demanded eye contact growing up. It unconsciously became the way I read people. Incredible because people really do tell you a LOT about themselves without even saying a word. Eyes that lie? Shady characters? Insecurity? Discomfort? Acts of Aggression? What hides behind Silence? People tell on themselves if Only we pay close attention 👀👀
@CaptainSurfy There’s nuance in eye contact regardless of color. One of the shadiest characters I’ve ever met had dark eyes and the eyes told no lies about his character.
It is so easy to detect fake smiles, just look at how they smile when they greet you and then their genuine friends! I've been detecting it for years! Sometimes though I feel I wish I didn't have this talent!
I’ve never taken peoples appearances at face value and am very good at picking up on fake laughter and smiles. This has made me unpopular with most people I’ve met, because I don’t fall for their fakeness and 100% of the time, so far, I’ve been right about the person. Btw, I’m an introvert and INTJ. So maybe it just comes easier to me.
Yes, body language, facial expressions, voice intonation and stress are paramount in communication. However, I think it could be difficult to make an accurate assessment of somebody if they are from a different culture from your own. Different nationalities, cultures and ethnicities have their own ways of communicating.
Sometimes it is a factor and sometimes it isn't. Most people are forgiving of ignorance not manipulation. I observed placement of information regarding a child's placement at a table. One of the adults ascerted the child wanted to sit a a certain spot at the table. I also observed the child following a toy that was slid right infront of that spot. Character is key. Also, remember you can not judge without being judged yourself. A random woman in a store struct up a conversation with me that was super strange. Obviously she read the book and in her conversation began assessing my non verbal communication from sadness happiness, empathy and everything in between obvisously this is not something one should do with strangers as it is totally inappropriateand makes person appear bipolar at best (she did not cry but did her best chin quivering impression). She noticed breaks in my attention but did not notice my purse was behind her. Come to think of it what kind of personality type does such a thing with a stranger is attention seeking and hints to grandios does it not. Then there was old MAGA hat guy who presented like a characature of the stereorype straight from the improv of Curb Your Enthusiam.
48 laws of power helped me so much in negotiating, or finding a better approach of how to behave in a certain power driven environment...kudos to that guy
I respect this information, I used to give people too many chances, and I had to learn the hard way, even with “professional therapists, doctors, police officers, people in general, anyone” I had to learn to observe people more. Now my trust is not, easily gained or given.
Good and bad of everything. Terrible doctors and sort of ok doctors. Semi decent Chiropractors who then over bill your insurance. Attorneys who lie to your face. You have to be vigilant. Sometimes people are honest and other times they have hidden agendas.
I’m mistrustful of people I don’t know when they’re overly charming. There are exceptions, however invariably they want something. I reserve my judgement until I know them better. Real character leaks out over time.
I'm distrustful of people who try to get too close to soon and seem like the best moral person in the world. I agree. Character leaks out overtime. I try not to have prejudices (good or bad).
Oh yes, the people or person who is over friendly on first meeting. I have learned to mistrust them, they want to pry into your life or gossip about you. I have learned to try and keep their company to a minimum.
I watched the non verbal language today as I was talking to a business I had to deal with. What a contrasts between the observable results of their actions, their body language and what came out in their words. It did not change the way they were acting but I did not indicate that I believed a word they said either, I kept it neutral and took care of the reason I went there. It felt good not to deny my observations to appease them.
That’s a key phrase.. “I took care of the reason I went there “ It’s good to keep focus on your core activity and what it is that you really want and the best way to achieve it.
I record pictures of body poses, eyes and movements then when I’m at solitude I connect the dots with my feelings and words, Then I can visualise notice the things that didn't fit, it’s amazing how you can recognise that the person that you thought when talking was genuine when you revise his gaze you reckon many nuances they were trying to hide
I immigrated from Germany to Norway, and had to become very observant the first yrars, becsuse I couldn t dpesk the language. I reslised I picked up and still do way more of what is REALLY going on around me than others.
Gosh, I have so many questions. How was this studied so long ago and yet so many practiced firm hand discipline. I’m looking into Milton Erickson and buying his book Uncommon Therapy, I am always appreciative of Robert Greene’s gems of wisdom. This snippet doesn’t fall short. Thanks again sir✨
Very powerful video. I reflect on my last relationship recently and spotting the non verbal cues and why he wasn’t the right person for me. Many red flags
Well it's because if you were 100 real and honest. You most likely wouldn't fit into society. Ridicule and contempt would follow you. This is human nature masks are basically just protective mechanisms to hide you own less sociable traits and enhance your positive ones. The world doesn't judge you based on who you are but who you seem. We don't like to think a lot and already assume we know people based on what they reveal to us. Why is it that the people who are closest to us always feel imperfect. We see their weaknesses and all that's because deep down we all have flaws which we hide for good reason. You don't want a random stranger to know about your weaknesses. So as you get closer to people you will start to see them becoming more comfortable being themselves around you. This obviously won't be most people you know. This will mostly include parents, your partner and maybe your closest friend. Not all friends are that close. So playing mask makes social life really smooth and as you move closer you can start taking it off more and more and show your true colours. It is wise to not show your weaknesses too early in a relationship it should be gradual and you should be able to read peoples mask so that you can pick up red flags before you invest
I find it interesting how all people have a deep instinctual compulsion or necessity to express themselves. The more they use their conscious mind to control their words and behaviours, the more the underlying psyche blurts out the "true" expression of their self in other ways, such as unusual body language or tones in the voice. Following this thread of logic, it would be fair to say that people who are genuine and open in their expression exhibit less chaotic or strange outbursts via their body. And that would be one way to gauge the level of a person's genuineness and authenticity.
My years in sales has made me really good at reading what people are not saying sometimes; it make makes me uncomfortable. It's like a quick eclipse, listening with your eyes. One year all my real estate transaction were from holding open houses. My colleague tried to duplicate my successes; but didn't have the skill set.
This video is a must watch to hiring authorities of educational institutions especially universities. The truth is, learning has become very disinteresting by the pathetic character of countless teachers and professors who work for themselves and not for their students. May your video resound to the consciousness of school authorities the world over.
@@egrace3738 most teachers lack passion. they have no drive to inspire or show the potential of why learning certain things matters so much in the real world. it's simply a job and a paycheck, not building the future power players of society.
The first sign I noticed in an older friend that was a sort of counselor …you know older and wiser… that she stopped looking at me. My face. My body. She would avert her eyes. Look down while talking to me. That’s a big red flag and I no longer trusted her. I was befriended by a younger couple because she was from Kansas like me and now when I see her in church…all of this takes place there… she looked panicked and looked away. She’s friends w the older gal. Right or wrong I decided to trust what I see. Trust my instincts and walk away.
@@ST-yc7uj nobody is obliged to like you man. Not us. But seriously though this is really nice observation like I've noticed it too. People will look at you less when they feel uncomfortable around you. The people you like you look at more
white collar environments are notoriously fake and cut-throat. you don't many real friends in those environments so just understand the game and play it as it's meant to be played.
It's important to take a step back and consider what you gut it telling you. You don't have to believe it blindly but you should become aware and wary and pay more attention
You can read people's thoughts by practising meditation. Through meditation you become more compassionate which helps you become more receptive to others emotions and their thoughts.
Some of Us had to see through the BS to survive since 4y. old. I can't help but see it all, much less be observant. I used to hate this "skill". I felt like I was cursed. Now I use it to My advantage. I agree about everything said. I hope it serves others well as it has Me. And lol, My last name is Greene.❤️🔥
This is the problem. People get so wound up in “im going to become the best non verbal detector” and come as as creepy, or they second guess everything. Sometimes, it’s not that complicated. Keep it subtle
I compare what Robert says about non-verbal communication being 95% of interaction with others, and the idea of the cellphone and social media (anti-social). This medium would seem to eliminate 95% (or whatever % it is in reality) of communication between people. I know many people do not use social sites so much, they still crave the old ways of interacting with others, I know I do. But something is pushing this non-human element in society, and I think it's much of the cause of many problems we're experiencing.
It is important not to confuse exhaustion\ PTSD\ burnout with a liar. Do not confuse trauma with deception. They are not intrinsically linked yet they can be. It is also important not to confuse someone who is on the autistic spectrum with someone who is deceptive, as this is usually not the case and majority of autistic people are truth tellers whether they want to be or not, but the facial expressions can confuse people. Judgement and condescending behaviour towards such individuals is totally inappropriate, and can further traumatize and regress an individual. Woe to the bullsh*tters.
That's why I think you should really take it with a grain of salt. Seeing their behaviours with others is key here Knowing the baseline often saves you
When I heard all of this, my world made alot of sense. I am a massage therapist, and have been for 12 years. I can read a body, especially if I am touching them. It's interesting because when I work on people's left side and it's super inflamed, I know they just had somone recently pass. I bring this up, and everytime it's true. If the left side isn't inflamed but in pain, they are missing someone deeply. Example: my client that I met for the first time, knowing nothing about him, the word mom pops up in my head while I'm working on the left rhomboid. I tell him this may seem weird, but does your mom live here? He says no, she just moved to Mexico, I said we'll while I'm working on you left rhomboid I noticed iT was very tight, while working on this side I felt you missed someone terribly. Do you miss your mom? Client yes very much. I talk to her alot on the phone. Ext. I've never heard of someone having this " vision for others" "or intense empathy" "or the secound form of language "before. This is really cool to have heard. Thank you! ♡♡♡ with love, me ♡♡♡
Being a highly observant person can at times become very draining. I find myself often observing everything around me when I am out in public and afterwards feel the need to sit down in silence and just decompress from all that I absorbed in my day
I had a narcicistic friend, I could tell he was lying a lot because his smile seemed not genuine. I noticed this and some other things such as his tone of voice when he was fake smiling and eventually it became very easy to distinguish his inauthentic intents from his authentic intents. We aren't friends anymore, people suck.
"I'm a consultant" and, "the #1 problem I deal with is I hired the worst person in the world" Yes indeed, this is clearly the side of the fence to work; where the Greene money is! I see a bright future for Robert Greene at Baine Capital or some other merger and acquisition consulting company.
Expect the unexpected everything isn't what it looks like... most people eat with their eyes 👀. Prime cut old man agreed 💯 thanks. God's blessings to U.
Personality shadow, Carl Jung. We doubt ourselves and distrust others. Sigmund Freud called this the Id. And yes, it does explain why we don't (inately) like other people...like a 6th sense.
It isn’t the lack of coherence which bothers me. I grew up around academic people and often times they are doing 2-3 different messages at a time. My friend Shayna’s Dad was a master of this. But they weren’t messages of dislike or distrust on any level. It was fun to be around. A friend who was retired Yale Faculty was similar.
Good points..and reading and looking at Robert’s right hand constantly moving reveals he wants to launch a right cross to the defensively positioned interviwer
The studies i read, a while bac, said that 70% of our communication is non-verbal. Problem is our society focuses more on fostering the external and not the internal compass that can see past the words. We are taught to not trust our inner voice, which is sad.
Your videos are impart good knowledge of how things should be in life,it is crazy some times you feel so obsessed with thongs that are not there,you start chasing what is fake and it only drains you of your energy with your heart broken and exhausted,then there is intense poverty and inner corruption,and societal,and home pressures which keeps people paralyzed,unable to focus on serious things of life and from this point of these sufferings and extreme poverty you feel yourself hanging in the midst of heaven and earth.
What I find interesting is being overwhelmed with both sets of information. Especially when very dissonant. Like an academic person is telling you one thing but their non verbals are telling you the opposite. Then sometimes it is challenging to respond.
I use to trust almost everyone and was easily manipulated. I now have seen the worst of humanity the paat 8 years. Keep my circle very small now. Im in the spectrum. Too much empathy. Now i prefer animals and my small circle
I am severely hearing impaired. I need to scrutinize people's face for expression and look at body language and non-auditory clues for communication. I often wondered why I got a different take on people than what others were picking up and I think it is because I was looking at the whole package rather than what they were saying ( I usually never actually 'heard' what they were saying, rather how they were saying it) What I thought of as a disability may not be.......
Colleagues befriending you and your children at workplace to be able to stab you later is a lifetime learning experience because before this you just cannot believe something like this exists
For someone who is a behavioral expert, I’m surprised his speech is loaded with those please-agree-with-me “right?” Statements. We can’t do much about our physical body language but verbal? Yes.
Funny how I am exactly the opposite of the average human in this regard. I observe people since childhood, see all their discrepancies between verbal and non-verbal communication, but I am in no way able to understand their underlying motives and the the way they interpret my verbal and non-verbal communication and thus have at the same time continuous conflicts with people as they mostly perceive me as deceitful or manipulative where i really am overly kind and altruistic by nature. Probably because. in their eyes, people with evil intensions show the same behavior and mistaken true kindness with somebody who act kind! But in reality when they would observe better, there are all kinds of non-verbal cues that make people with evil intensions stand out like a neon advertising sign!
Maybe you clash because they don’t like the fact you are picking up on what they are trying to conceal.. that happens to me. I can’t help but react to falseness & that brings an angry reaction from them..
I agree, Anna. I think people find being seen through uncomfortable. Maybe it's an instinctive power thing, people want to be around others whose perception of them they can control.
@@annastone5624 Asking just in case. Could it be that along with your expressed observations is there some judgement? Or that they perceive your observations as a judgement?
You do have ulterior motives if you are seeking an outcome. No doubt you want to be thought well of and admired for your kindness. That is part of human nature. It probably has to do with being unappreciated in your childhood. By all means continue to be kind and generous, but understand the reasons you are doing so. Then you will be able to easily accept others ingratitude and skepticism. It is not wrong to wish to be appreciated but you can not get those needs met in other people. Only by valuing who you are and what you do.
@@annastone5624 You are probably very right! About a half year ago, I came to that conclusion after elaborate thinking and in a setting that it was so obvious (to me) that it it very unlikely that this isn't the case! Even when entering a space where people are, when doing a quick scan at the beginning, it is immediate apparent that people react way more intens to me (and probably you too in can imagine) then any other person coming in after me. In what way is a bit different for every individual, but absolutely more intense then with an other random citizen entering. And just like you mentiin here! I imagined it to be something in the setting of; When they look at you they get a sense as if (an illusion i called it) their masks don't work anymore! Not only against me, but as if me entering that space somehow make their maskers fall off and that they feel exposed for who they really are! Of course that's not true, but i t seems that they are under the impression that that is the case. Their initial reaction is most of the time confusion and depending on their personality they react. Not only in a negative way btw! Self-assured people seems to feel even soothed by it. The more insecure somebody feels, the more negative the react. thank god I am more fascinated then offended by this behavior, otherwise it would be even a lot more problematic! No it gives me always something to do when going anywhere. Observing people and they way they react and interact with others around them.👍😊 BTW, I think a lot of us know by now why we are different from the rest and what our weak points are, but.....is there already somebody who knows how to tackle these weaknesses by now? Thanks to channels like the Mind Notion, advice is brought to us in a lot of cases, but implementing these is the biggest challenge! At least for me! It's even frustrating, because the solution should be very easy to execute for people, who use their brains so much as we do. But to me it feels I have to adjust myself in a way I am just not able to do! Not that the task is difficult or that I consciously refuse to behave differently to get results, but it is for my unconscious mind appearently impossible to integrate. Are there among you who have that same experience? Now i cut it off, because the reply is already way longer then anticipated! (which is a bit standard to me, but not in this degree) 🤔🙏
I'm being misjudged on my body language all the time because I have autism. I'd say its dangerous to judge someone on body language because some people have no control or are not aware of their own body language 🤷♂
That's why we have baseline. If you always act like that then it's probably normal behaviour for you. This is a valid point though. This does however work for all other people because like humans we do actually portray how we feel
As a woman I do this unintentionally and for years I hated it, I can’t turn off the part of my brain that notices body language and in the middle of a conversation my brain goes “that was a lie they just said” etc. and it’s distracting and discouraging..
even beyond the body and it's figures, it's shapes and apparent appearances, one ought be aware magnetism is the wave OF awareness; so is one's ability to detect subtle flux the ultimate key of discernment. However, such a one who would discern must themselves possess a capacity for self-honesty. The key to intelligence is not witnessed to by the body's eyes. The physical is but an ape of the non-physical. Do not get stuck there. J
I'm wondering if this is the same Robert Greene I knew in 1979 in the East Village. The nicest friends I ever had was Bob Gurevics and Andy Rosenbaum. He ended up staying at Ezra Pounds daughters castle in Italy.
Imagine how nonverbal communication's been impacted during the COVID pandemic and how so many continue to wear masks covering up most of their facial expressions, thereby making any level of engagement with them more difficult and I think less interesting. These people are already hard to understand with the facial coverings, particularly if they're speaking in a crowded environment or anywhere with lots of background noise.
When you're speaking with someone just be "in the moment." Step a bit outside of yourself and watch and listen to the interactions. Attempt not to get "caught up in the conversation". You will learn.
If ppl don’t apologized to you easily, know it’s bc you’re great bullshit detector bc they can’t fool you with their fake apologies when their actions fail to aligned
'weaklings' must develop some way to promote their will, on the earth. To the development of Intuition is a strong adjustment, but your guess MUST Be Correct.
Watch how people treat you compared to others. If there's a difference, be careful.
Also, be careful of people who seem a little too happy or compliment you a little too much, especially early on in the friendship/relationship. They could be love bombing you, only to completely change later on.
I've learned these lessons over decades of dealing with toxic people.
I agree with you ✔
J😅rytt
Yes, and that love bombing is such a hook it can be very hypnotizing if you’re not careful, and then you fall into the trap…
I agree as well. They always say watch out for the quiet ones, but reading between the lines has proven time and time again to watch out for the loud ones. Over friendly people usually slip up pretty quickly and it's easy to spot a deviation from their normal behavior. We all slip, but the deviation is usually so drastic that it becomes obvious the friendliness is a mask.
Both of these are also mentioned in his book Laws of Human Nature.
Early childhood trauma is miracle grow for this ability.
Your survival and safety rely on having this skill.
Of course it comes at a heavy cost.
Your heart breaks when you know the truth and people think you're weird.
A brutal truth
I understand this completely. The youngest of 6 children and a single parent, I learned to keep my mouth shut and pay attention to everything. Still do it to this day
It's sad that people who are abused developed this ability. This ability can only be purchased by painful experiences
@@christinelucas3814That part... Right there. Everybody calls you a Debbie Downer because they want to enjoy the charming charismatic person. Later when the person removes the mask, to act a fool and reek havoc, they blame you "why didn't you tell me?"
I grew up with my father being a business owner. I also worked for him for quite awhile. So I became accustomed to be around "the boss". Every company I've worked for since then, I've always gotten along with the owner of the company. Probably because I never get nervous around them. MIddle management has been a different story. The "guy with the most keys" is always a pain in the ass.
😂😂😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯
Totally relatable. My nickname is ‘the real CEO’ throughout my career in different multinationals. I often meet with jealousy or uncertainty because of the relaxed, less formal and open way of interacting the board members I assist quickly adopt towards myself. They’re often open to my ideas when asked. Be correct, trustworthy, loyal, honest, genuine, calm, observing and know when to speak and when to stay in the background. Learn how your supervisor thinks so that he/she doesn’t has to ask for everything. Own your mistakes and apologize when you made one. Be careful not to overstep hierarchical boundaries.
Middle management is the bane of corporate. Completely useless and ways on power trips.
Robert Greene’s voice is so soothing. I could listen to him for hours.
Its awful sounds like throat cancer
Did something terrible happen to him? That's what I feel from him. I apologize, I haven't seen him before.
😂😂😋😋
@@ladywolfwolf No, he did not play sports as a child but only read.
Why do you feel that something terrible happened to him?
The key is to not react or go crazy when you understand what you are observing. This is the lesson here for me. I found it to be a potential curse to read body language and being intuitive as I was reacting to that not so hidden reality, while others push back based on words... It is truly tough to keep that balance and to manage our emotions.
Yes! Being overly sensitive/intuitive is a real problem -- feeling the demons people carry with them is daunting, and makes living in this world difficult.
I’m highly sensitive to non verbals -have been my entire life and it has served me really really well.
This man is a sheer genius at explaining body language, and how it connects to the real life subtext of people & real feelings and their real thoughts on things as shown in hidden gestures etc.
All so true. My father always demanded eye contact growing up. It unconsciously became the way I read people. Incredible because people really do tell you a LOT about themselves without even saying a word. Eyes that lie? Shady characters? Insecurity? Discomfort? Acts of Aggression? What hides behind Silence? People tell on themselves if Only we pay close attention 👀👀
Thank you. The eyes are real, the smiles can be faked.
@CaptainSurfy There’s nuance in eye contact regardless of color. One of the shadiest characters I’ve ever met had dark eyes and the eyes told no lies about his character.
@CaptainSurfy my bad lol All too true!
If you’ve ever been in a foreign country you can understand people simply from their body language.
Excellent point.
Yes, it is very subtle and deep
Worked in a factory once with another culture. Couldn't speak their words. Followed their non verbal language. Fascinating.
Not true
It is so easy to detect fake smiles, just look at how they smile when they greet you and then their genuine friends! I've been detecting it for years! Sometimes though I feel I wish I didn't have this talent!
It really stands out doesn’t it
That beautiful husky on the swing is stunning… he’s like um why are we moving?
I am gifted with this sense of non verbal. Ruined my life before I got into spirituality lol.
The world breaks you before youve even left school!!
I’ve never taken peoples appearances at face value and am very good at picking up on fake laughter and smiles. This has made me unpopular with most people I’ve met, because I don’t fall for their fakeness and 100% of the time, so far, I’ve been right about the person.
Btw, I’m an introvert and INTJ. So maybe it just comes easier to me.
Yes, body language, facial expressions, voice intonation and stress are paramount in communication.
However, I think it could be difficult to make an accurate assessment of somebody if they are from a different culture from your own.
Different nationalities, cultures and ethnicities have their own ways of communicating.
Vibes don’t lie
Sometimes it is a factor and sometimes it isn't. Most people are forgiving of ignorance not manipulation. I observed placement of information regarding a child's placement at a table. One of the adults ascerted the child wanted to sit a a certain spot at the table. I also observed the child following a toy that was slid right infront of that spot. Character is key. Also, remember you can not judge without being judged yourself. A random woman in a store struct up a conversation with me that was super strange. Obviously she read the book and in her conversation began assessing my non verbal communication from sadness happiness, empathy and everything in between obvisously this is not something one should do with strangers as it is totally inappropriateand makes person appear bipolar at best (she did not cry but did her best chin quivering impression). She noticed breaks in my attention but did not notice my purse was behind her. Come to think of it what kind of personality type does such a thing with a stranger is attention seeking and hints to grandios does it not. Then there was old MAGA hat guy who presented like a characature of the stereorype straight from the improv of Curb Your Enthusiam.
@@dmystfy Not a thing. As explained in split second reactions. Caution, not to projecting what you didn't see. Careful to describe what you did.
48 laws of power helped me so much in negotiating, or finding a better approach of how to behave in a certain power driven environment...kudos to that guy
I just ordered the book!
I respect this information, I used to give people too many chances, and I had to learn the hard way, even with “professional therapists, doctors, police officers, people in general, anyone” I had to learn to observe people more. Now my trust is not, easily gained or given.
Good and bad of everything. Terrible doctors and sort of ok doctors. Semi decent Chiropractors who then over bill your insurance. Attorneys who lie to your face. You have to be vigilant. Sometimes people are honest and other times they have hidden agendas.
Yes, same. You have to earn my trust. It doesn't come easily.
❤. Robert, you’re the kind of person people want to trust. We need more authenticity 🎉
I’m mistrustful of people I don’t know when they’re overly charming. There are exceptions, however invariably they want something. I reserve my judgement until I know them better. Real character leaks out over time.
I'm distrustful of people who try to get too close to soon and seem like the best moral person in the world. I agree. Character leaks out overtime. I try not to have prejudices (good or bad).
And the people who talk bad about someone on your first day of meeting is also the one that will talk bad about in the future.
Oh yes, the people or person who is over friendly on first meeting. I have learned to mistrust them, they want to pry into your life or gossip about you. I have learned to try and keep their company to a minimum.
This reminds me of a children’s book I read, it’s a good book for adults as well “The Little Prince”, the Fox section.
Learning about body language and microexpressions is good
“Smiling Faces”. They don’t tell the truth. Great song.
I watched the non verbal language today as I was talking to a business I had to deal with.
What a contrasts between the observable results of their actions, their body language and what came out in their words. It did not change the way they were acting but I did not indicate that I believed a word they said either, I kept it neutral and took care of the reason I went there. It felt good not to deny my observations to appease them.
Can you explain what you observed? What was the contrast?
One of my favorite come backs to that question is ;
“Nobody likes a nosy Rosie.”
That’s a key phrase.. “I took care of the reason I went there “
It’s good to keep focus on your core activity and what it is that you really want and the best way to achieve it.
I learnt this the hard way. Always pay attention to your instincts.
Your spirit knows what your mind doesn't know.
I have been told that dogs and con artists are exceptional at non verbal language.
And the fake psychics! In other words ALL psychics!!! Lol 😅
Hehe he
No dogs are all heart
Con artists are all fart
@@kimsherlock8969 I'm stealing that
@Shannon Lockhart con artists are dogs
Dogs are exceptionally observant. The masters at reading body language.
I record pictures of body poses, eyes and movements then when I’m at solitude I connect the dots with my feelings and words, Then I can visualise notice the things that didn't fit, it’s amazing how you can recognise that the person that you thought when talking was genuine when you revise his gaze you reckon many nuances they were trying to hide
I just love how Robert speaks. I could listen to him talk all day.
"Smiling Faces" by The Undisputed Truth, 1971.
I immigrated from Germany to Norway, and had to become very observant the first yrars, becsuse I couldn t dpesk the language. I reslised I picked up and still do way more of what is REALLY going on around me than others.
Robert Greene, you are the greatest of All! 🎉
Yes so true i can read body language its my first go to thank you for the wisdom and knowledge 😊
Gosh, I have so many questions. How was this studied so long ago and yet so many practiced firm hand discipline. I’m looking into Milton Erickson and buying his book Uncommon Therapy, I am always appreciative of Robert Greene’s gems of wisdom. This snippet doesn’t fall short. Thanks again sir✨
Very powerful video. I reflect on my last relationship recently and spotting the non verbal cues and why he wasn’t the right person for me. Many red flags
Can you tell what cues they were? It can be helpful for me and others😊
Yes I'm sure you were completely blameless and perfect and it was all his fault.
@@Mantis-ti5ve Just because you are a bad person, doesn't mean that others are.
Call me.
@@Mantis-ti5ve - Bitter and projecting.
Why can't we all have integrity and be 100% real and honest with everyone without playing games or wearing a mask over our faces?
Because it is hard and very costly.
I HATE conflict. I would rather not know and feel. It’s horrible and horrifying most of the time.
Well it's because if you were 100 real and honest. You most likely wouldn't fit into society.
Ridicule and contempt would follow you.
This is human nature masks are basically just protective mechanisms to hide you own less sociable traits and enhance your positive ones.
The world doesn't judge you based on who you are but who you seem.
We don't like to think a lot and already assume we know people based on what they reveal to us.
Why is it that the people who are closest to us always feel imperfect. We see their weaknesses and all that's because deep down we all have flaws which we hide for good reason. You don't want a random stranger to know about your weaknesses.
So as you get closer to people you will start to see them becoming more comfortable being themselves around you.
This obviously won't be most people you know.
This will mostly include parents, your partner and maybe your closest friend. Not all friends are that close.
So playing mask makes social life really smooth and as you move closer you can start taking it off more and more and show your true colours. It is wise to not show your weaknesses too early in a relationship it should be gradual and you should be able to read peoples mask so that you can pick up red flags before you invest
I find it interesting how all people have a deep instinctual compulsion or necessity to express themselves. The more they use their conscious mind to control their words and behaviours, the more the underlying psyche blurts out the "true" expression of their self in other ways, such as unusual body language or tones in the voice.
Following this thread of logic, it would be fair to say that people who are genuine and open in their expression exhibit less chaotic or strange outbursts via their body. And that would be one way to gauge the level of a person's genuineness and authenticity.
Thank you Robert ❤
*I often say: "I listened to what they didn't say!"*
Good for you
My years in sales has made me really good at reading what people are not saying sometimes; it make makes me uncomfortable. It's like a quick eclipse, listening with your eyes. One year all my real estate transaction were from holding open houses. My colleague tried to duplicate my successes; but didn't have the skill set.
Can you explain some of them?
This video is a must watch to hiring authorities of educational institutions especially universities. The truth is, learning has become very disinteresting by the pathetic character of countless teachers and professors who work for themselves and not for their students. May your video resound to the consciousness of school authorities the world over.
As a retired teacher, your take is sophomoric and simplistic. You know not of what you speak. 😐🙄
Teechers done me good in skool, learnt reel well what it is to become a smahrt humen. Collage was tuff,butt eye still learnt from 1 teecher.
@@egrace3738 most teachers lack passion. they have no drive to inspire or show the potential of why learning certain things matters so much in the real world. it's simply a job and a paycheck, not building the future power players of society.
The first sign I noticed in an older friend that was a sort of counselor …you know older and wiser… that she stopped looking at me. My face. My body. She would avert her eyes. Look down while talking to me. That’s a big red flag and I no longer trusted her. I was befriended by a younger couple because she was from Kansas like me and now when I see her in church…all of this takes place there… she looked panicked and looked away. She’s friends w the older gal. Right or wrong I decided to trust what I see. Trust my instincts and walk away.
People are often terrible.
I just want to say this makes perfect sense. 💗 you were right to trust you intuition
Nobody is obliged to like us.
@@ST-yc7uj nobody is obliged to like you man. Not us.
But seriously though this is really nice observation like I've noticed it too. People will look at you less when they feel uncomfortable around you.
The people you like you look at more
This is true but now that I work virtually I have learned to observe tones in emails or tone of voice…
This is so majestic and I will improve myself on it.
After I started observing my colleagues, I realized that 60% of them secretly dislike me
Are you sure it wasn't 59.87394%?
@@user-zr6pl6nb6z 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why didn't they like you?
white collar environments are notoriously fake and cut-throat. you don't many real friends in those environments so just understand the game and play it as it's meant to be played.
No work colleagues are genuine friends.
5:45 this one boils my blood still. I did this always since a kid and never realized anyone else did argue just to win an argument, still fcks with me
Body language and paralanguage are so amazing to observe!...content of conversation is reserved for later analysis.
Which do you respond to first?
@@pearpo In most situations, body, then the voice.
Ya and were watching listening and now talking
That bearded guy with the glasses and blazer is working overtime in this video ;)
Trust your gut when someone/thing feels "off". Don't second-guess yourself. Women esp be careful + aware of red flags.
It's important to take a step back and consider what you gut it telling you. You don't have to believe it blindly but you should become aware and wary and pay more attention
Observation is my superpower
You can read people's thoughts by practising meditation. Through meditation you become more compassionate which helps you become more receptive to others emotions and their thoughts.
i love how these videos always add the most anticlimactic music
That is true in reading a person. The two pictures you have there are very different.
Some of Us had to see through the BS to survive since 4y. old. I can't help but see it all, much less be observant.
I used to hate this "skill". I felt like I was cursed. Now I use it to My advantage.
I agree about everything said. I hope it serves others well as it has Me.
And lol, My last name is Greene.❤️🔥
If I don’t know someone or don’t like someone, I frequently communicate nonverbally to them.
It’s efficient. 😐
You're so right there so many people that judge their faces they don't even know what's in the inside cuz it to stuck on the outside for a minute
This is the problem. People get so wound up in “im going to become the best non verbal detector” and come as as creepy, or they second guess everything. Sometimes, it’s not that complicated. Keep it subtle
Looking and seeing with a FRESH EYE
My abusive boss would start banging his keyboard really hard when he couldn't bully me. It doesn't get more obvious than that :-)
Lolol
No, bullies don’t do that.
bullies will attack you, no their keyboards
I compare what Robert says about non-verbal communication being 95% of interaction with others, and the idea of the cellphone and social media (anti-social). This medium would seem to eliminate 95% (or whatever % it is in reality) of communication between people. I know many people do not use social sites so much, they still crave the old ways of interacting with others, I know I do. But something is pushing this non-human element in society, and I think it's much of the cause of many problems we're experiencing.
Great lecture. ❤
It is important not to confuse exhaustion\ PTSD\ burnout with a liar. Do not confuse trauma with deception. They are not intrinsically linked yet they can be. It is also important not to confuse someone who is on the autistic spectrum with someone who is deceptive, as this is usually not the case and majority of autistic people are truth tellers whether they want to be or not, but the facial expressions can confuse people. Judgement and condescending behaviour towards such individuals is totally inappropriate, and can further traumatize and regress an individual.
Woe to the bullsh*tters.
That's why I think you should really take it with a grain of salt. Seeing their behaviours with others is key here
Knowing the baseline often saves you
When I heard all of this, my world made alot of sense. I am a massage therapist, and have been for 12 years. I can read a body, especially if I am touching them. It's interesting because when I work on people's left side and it's super inflamed, I know they just had somone recently pass. I bring this up, and everytime it's true. If the left side isn't inflamed but in pain, they are missing someone deeply.
Example: my client that I met for the first time, knowing nothing about him, the word mom pops up in my head while I'm working on the left rhomboid. I tell him this may seem weird, but does your mom live here?
He says no, she just moved to Mexico, I said we'll while I'm working on you left rhomboid I noticed iT was very tight, while working on this side I felt you missed someone terribly. Do you miss your mom?
Client yes very much. I talk to her alot on the phone. Ext.
I've never heard of someone having this " vision for others"
"or intense empathy" "or the secound form of language "before. This is really cool to have heard.
Thank you! ♡♡♡ with love, me ♡♡♡
Dogs are excellent con artists! 🐶🐕
Yes he's saying it's about spirit 💗
Being a highly observant person can at times become very draining. I find myself often observing everything around me when I am out in public and afterwards feel the need to sit down in silence and just decompress from all that I absorbed in my day
I had a narcicistic friend, I could tell he was lying a lot because his smile seemed not genuine. I noticed this and some other things such as his tone of voice when he was fake smiling and eventually it became very easy to distinguish his inauthentic intents from his authentic intents.
We aren't friends anymore, people suck.
"I'm a consultant" and, "the #1 problem I deal with is I hired the worst person in the world" Yes indeed, this is clearly the side of the fence to work; where the Greene money is! I see a bright future for Robert Greene at Baine Capital or some other merger and acquisition consulting company.
Expect the unexpected everything isn't what it looks like... most people eat with their eyes 👀. Prime cut old man agreed 💯 thanks. God's blessings to U.
This explains why we don’t like certain people. There is no coherence between verbal and nonverbal language that we decipher on a subconscious level.
Personality shadow, Carl Jung. We doubt ourselves and distrust others. Sigmund Freud called this the Id.
And yes, it does explain why we don't (inately) like other people...like a 6th sense.
It isn’t the lack of coherence which bothers me. I grew up around academic people and often times they are doing 2-3 different messages at a time. My friend Shayna’s Dad was a master of this. But they weren’t messages of dislike or distrust on any level. It was fun to be around. A friend who was retired Yale Faculty was similar.
The background music is a bit unnecessary 🥲
I don’t agree ❤🎉
Yes. It's distracting and totally unnecessary.
Yup
Everyone's a critic...
I think is nice
The physical expression is part of it but also the appropriateness of a smile or other expression or action. Etc etc
Good points..and reading and looking at Robert’s right hand constantly moving reveals he wants to launch a right cross to the defensively positioned interviwer
It takes time to get to know a person, particularly if they have a foreign accent.
The studies i read, a while bac, said that 70% of our communication is non-verbal. Problem is our society focuses more on fostering the external and not the internal compass that can see past the words. We are taught to not trust our inner voice, which is sad.
You’re brilliant 🎉❤
Your videos are impart good knowledge of how things should be in life,it is crazy some times you feel so obsessed with thongs that are not there,you start chasing what is fake and it only drains you of your energy with your heart broken and exhausted,then there is intense poverty and inner corruption,and societal,and home pressures which keeps people paralyzed,unable to focus on serious things of life and from this point of these sufferings and extreme poverty you feel yourself hanging in the midst of heaven and earth.
Excellent topic. I have some understanding of nonverbal communication. Coming from an abusive family, I learned early to read the signs.
Thank you
Our suppressors ended up giving us a valuable edge in life
What I find interesting is being overwhelmed with both sets of information. Especially when very dissonant. Like an academic person is telling you one thing but their non verbals are telling you the opposite. Then sometimes it is challenging to respond.
This is a great video❤There is a hater below this comment that wants to ruin the vibe. I don’t want her comment at the top
I use to trust almost everyone and was easily manipulated. I now have seen the worst of humanity the paat 8 years. Keep my circle very small now. Im in the spectrum. Too much empathy. Now i prefer animals and my small circle
I am severely hearing impaired. I need to scrutinize people's face for expression and look at body language and non-auditory clues for communication. I often wondered why I got a different take on people than what others were picking up and I think it is because I was looking at the whole package rather than what they were saying ( I usually never actually 'heard' what they were saying, rather how they were saying it) What I thought of as a disability may not be.......
Deaf here too and I agree
You, oh you!
A precious customer is an educated customer!
I believe we are taught not to pay attention. Girls certainly are. We are taught to look aside/not look.
Man, that Danny Elfman sure is versatile
Can't unsee it now
Thanks
I actually enjoy the background music ❤
Colleagues befriending you and your children at workplace to be able to stab you later is a lifetime learning experience because before this you just cannot believe something like this exists
It’s indeed the most bizarre experience.😂
Your coworkers are not your friends and everyone is looking out for themselves.
For someone who is a behavioral expert, I’m surprised his speech is loaded with those please-agree-with-me “right?” Statements. We can’t do much about our physical body language but verbal? Yes.
Funny how I am exactly the opposite of the average human in this regard. I observe people since childhood, see all their discrepancies between verbal and non-verbal communication, but I am in no way able to understand their underlying motives and the the way they interpret my verbal and non-verbal communication and thus have at the same time continuous conflicts with people as they mostly perceive me as deceitful or manipulative where i really am overly kind and altruistic by nature. Probably because. in their eyes, people with evil intensions show the same behavior and mistaken true kindness with somebody who act kind! But in reality when they would observe better, there are all kinds of non-verbal cues that make people with evil intensions stand out like a neon advertising sign!
Maybe you clash because they don’t like the fact you are picking up on what they are trying to conceal.. that happens to me. I can’t help but react to falseness & that brings an angry reaction from them..
I agree, Anna. I think people find being seen through uncomfortable. Maybe it's an instinctive power thing, people want to be around others whose perception of them they can control.
@@annastone5624 Asking just in case. Could it be that along with your expressed observations is there some judgement? Or that they perceive your observations as a judgement?
You do have ulterior motives if you are seeking an outcome.
No doubt you want to be thought well of and admired for your kindness.
That is part of human nature.
It probably has to do with being unappreciated in your childhood.
By all means continue to be kind and generous, but understand the reasons you are doing so.
Then you will be able to easily accept others ingratitude and skepticism.
It is not wrong to wish to be appreciated but you can not get those needs met in other people.
Only by valuing who you are and what you do.
@@annastone5624 You are probably very right! About a half year ago, I came to that conclusion after elaborate thinking and in a setting that it was so obvious (to me) that it it very unlikely that this isn't the case! Even when entering a space where people are, when doing a quick scan at the beginning, it is immediate apparent that people react way more intens to me (and probably you too in can imagine) then any other person coming in after me. In what way is a bit different for every individual, but absolutely more intense then with an other random citizen entering. And just like you mentiin here! I imagined it to be something in the setting of; When they look at you they get a sense as if (an illusion i called it) their masks don't work anymore! Not only against me, but as if me entering that space somehow make their maskers fall off and that they feel exposed for who they really are! Of course that's not true, but i t seems that they are under the impression that that is the case. Their initial reaction is most of the time confusion and depending on their personality they react. Not only in a negative way btw! Self-assured people seems to feel even soothed by it. The more insecure somebody feels, the more negative the react. thank god I am more fascinated then offended by this behavior, otherwise it would be even a lot more problematic! No it gives me always something to do when going anywhere. Observing people and they way they react and interact with others around them.👍😊 BTW, I think a lot of us know by now why we are different from the rest and what our weak points are, but.....is there already somebody who knows how to tackle these weaknesses by now? Thanks to channels like the Mind Notion, advice is brought to us in a lot of cases, but implementing these is the biggest challenge! At least for me! It's even frustrating, because the solution should be very easy to execute for people, who use their brains so much as we do. But to me it feels I have to adjust myself in a way I am just not able to do! Not that the task is difficult or that I consciously refuse to behave differently to get results, but it is for my unconscious mind appearently impossible to integrate. Are there among you who have that same experience? Now i cut it off, because the reply is already way longer then anticipated! (which is a bit standard to me, but not in this degree) 🤔🙏
I'm being misjudged on my body language all the time because I have autism. I'd say its dangerous to judge someone on body language because some people have no control or are not aware of their own body language 🤷♂
That's why we have baseline. If you always act like that then it's probably normal behaviour for you.
This is a valid point though.
This does however work for all other people because like humans we do actually portray how we feel
As a woman I do this unintentionally and for years I hated it, I can’t turn off the part of my brain that notices body language and in the middle of a conversation my brain goes “that was a lie they just said” etc. and it’s distracting and discouraging..
even beyond the body and it's figures, it's shapes and apparent appearances, one ought be aware magnetism is the wave OF awareness; so is one's ability to detect subtle flux the ultimate key of discernment. However, such a one who would discern must themselves possess a capacity for self-honesty. The key to intelligence is not witnessed to by the body's eyes. The physical is but an ape of the non-physical. Do not get stuck there.
J
I'm wondering if this is the same Robert Greene I knew in 1979 in the East Village. The nicest friends I ever had was Bob Gurevics and Andy Rosenbaum. He ended up staying at Ezra Pounds daughters castle in Italy.
Imagine how nonverbal communication's been impacted during the COVID pandemic and how so many continue to wear masks covering up most of their facial expressions, thereby making any level of engagement with them more difficult and I think less interesting. These people are already hard to understand with the facial coverings, particularly if they're speaking in a crowded environment or anywhere with lots of background noise.
When you're speaking with someone just be "in the moment." Step a bit outside of yourself and watch and listen to the interactions. Attempt not to get "caught up in the conversation". You will learn.
Len bias would been one of the greats if he did not go to that party. Learning not to react is truly an art.
The thumbnail doesn't take into account medical side effects people may have. Your inner state might not always match your outward appearance
If ppl don’t apologized to you easily, know it’s bc you’re great bullshit detector bc they can’t fool you with their fake apologies when their actions fail to aligned
A fake smile stops at the cheeks.
Unless that person is insecure about their teeth.
'weaklings' must develop some way to promote their will, on the earth. To the development of Intuition is a strong adjustment, but your guess MUST Be Correct.