ANNOYING things people told me as an Aromantic Asexual
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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
- I talk about some annoying things that people have said to me as an aroace (Aromantic Asexual) person. This video can be a guide to those on what not to say to an aroace person, with a bit of an explanation on why not to say it- OR- this is a video for fellow aroace folks to relate to. It's possibly relatable to other kinds of queer ppl too.
I hope you enjoy the video.
Don't forget to leave a like and comment on what you think.
Also, please subscribe- it's free.
My instagram is: bmud.angel
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music: Music by Mr. Jello - A Love Note - thmatc.co/?l=5...
if you see smth by my nose. its skin. not boogs lol.
Heyyyy. Thanks for watching!
If u got any questions or other stuff u want me to talk about or smth u want me to do on this channel- leave a comment about it.
I’ll be posting again soon.
Not super related to the topic of the video, but where’d you get that Venom shirt? The colors are so pretty I want it so bad 🥺🥺🥺
@@mk-aka-morgan8386 wow 9 months lol. im not completely sure honestly. i think walmart but i got the shirt like 2 years ago
I don't understand how religious people can't understand asexuality, even to some extent, but they can totally understand abstinence or celibacy. It's like someone, who's fasting or on a diet, being confused by someone who naturally eats small portions. It's doing a similar thing, but for a different reason.
yuup. its just almsot impossible for some people to wrap their head around asexuality
It’s supposed to be a “sacrifice”. You’re not supposed to enjoy or want your “sacrifice”. Is what I’m saying make sense? Whatever it’s a dumb reason anyways.
@@KiahRenamae yeah, I get what you mean, when you put it like that. It's a weird flex
I love this comparison :D You are so right!
@Burke896 That is great! Thank you for making it clear that not every person who is religious is the same. Still, there are many religious people in this world who are bothered by other peoples sexualities, and that includes asexuality. And that can be very hard, especially when it is someone you are close to.
Yes, exactly. Who has time for relationships these days? Everyone has the energy to pursue romantic relationships with other people who often cheated and wasted their time with them. And yet, society thinks people who do not want that or have the energy to go through that is considered a cry for help. And in all honesty, I am okay with not being in relationships. The only thing I am concerned with is getting a job with excellent wages, finding a nice apartment, paying my bills on time, making sure my student loans are getting paid off, my cholesterol, heart and stress levels are not too high, eating right, have enough money for my retirement. And that is all I need to worry about. For me, I have my priorities in order.
It's absolutely dehumanizing and disgusting that some people truly just discard Aroaces and the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole. Like, just let people be themselves. It's not bothering you or hurting you, so what's the point in trying to hurt someone's feelings? Everyone is valid in the community and the haters out there will absolutely never change my mind. I'm Aroace and I'm valid and that's all I know.
Yeah like if we ain’t doing anything morally wrong, leave us alone fr
saying it’s because of the internet is so dumb because it’s not like it’s something that’s romanticised or something people want. before knowing about aroace i thought i was broken and felt really depressed and hurt by it. knowing that there are many other people like me saved me by making me realise there’s nothing wrong with me and now i can be content
5:18 another example is: go hug a cactus! U never hugged a cactus how do u know that u won’t like it😅😂
I’ve recently found out I was Aro/ace because I had trouble liking people. Not just romantically but just like friends. People scared me and to go out and actually like someone’s ultimately scares me. People say- oh you so you like nothing- I’m like. We can like objects and shows and things. Just not *romance* I don’t want to get in a relationship and stuff and in a queer show that i’ve watched- one of the characters is aro/ace and that’s definitely one of my favourite characters and relate to her a whole lot.
Imma sub now hehe
What’s the name of the show
It’s called the owl house
It’s main character is a girl and bi
"they need to be caged." CRYING
I am sure being aromantic has always existed. There’s just a name for it now! Thank you for sharing your experience!
Thanks for watching
in one of my medical checkups my doctor asked me about my sex life, because I'm 17, and well, a lot of people my age are already sexually active. I didn't tell her I was asexual, I simply told her that I wasn't interested in it and she told me that I "probably just didn't find the right person yet". I didn't mind at all; I didn't find it invalidating or anything because I was like, 12 when I found out about it and started suspecting it, and a few, dunno, weeks? older when I started labeling myself that way, so I had zero doubts. what made me feel kinda bad was that any other kid who might've given a similar answer, and also felt really alienated, doubtful or just looking everywhere for validation, could've been discouraged to learn more about themselves and end up completely discarding the possibility just because of stigma. i really wish doctors, especially those working with teens, were better informed about it.
anyway, really cool video! your voice is really soothing and the editing's fun. hope to see more from you! :o)
edit: a dumb typo...
Wow ur right. The teen stage in life is pretty sensitive cuz that’s kinda when a teen starts trying to figure out who they are as a person. The doctor means well but it would be smth if they was just more informed.
Also thank you :’)
I always get the same 2 stupid things said to me.
"It's a phase" dude, I'm 39.....
"You just haven't met the right person." Again...... 39. How many new people ya think I'm gonna meet?
💚💚⚪⚫🖤
🖤 ⚫⚪💜
🔶️💛⚪💙🔵
Aroace and proud
OMG this explains why I never developed a crush or had any significant romantic or intimate interests. I feel like I have been spared a lot of headache and awkwardness due to the aromantic nature of my non existent love/sex life! I agree with you I just know that kissing and touching are repugnant to me. Who cares what strangers or religious buffoons think?
I am exactly like you. Its a blessing in many ways. Aro ace is harder than asexual but spared so much.
It’s funny how your shirt reads money 😂
I’m aroace and this is very relatable 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
as a Christian Bisexual who’s Ace, the FLASHBACKS lmao. Every time I tell someone (usually only if they ask), it’s always interesting to watch their brains shut down for a couple seconds. Especially because I’m Bisexual Ace. I like to tell people “I have double the options, but I want none of the action.” 😂 (love the editing and side comments btw)
EDIT: then I mention I have an amazing gf and their brain shuts down further because “hOW CaN YoU Be In a RoMAnTiC RElaTiOnShIP WiTHoUT SeX??” I dunno, maybe because she’s an amazing smart fun person who I want to do life with?? Holy cannoli the comments I’ve gotten 😂
That’s funny, I bet u rlly made ppl’s brain twist like hell lol.
Biromantic, not bisexual.
This is why I don’t come out to people irl 😰 My friends and sisters know (as well as anyone who follows me online lol), but I don’t tell most of my family or strangers/associates. It’s SO annoying being told any of these things 😤😒😤
I'm not aromantic or asexual, but my sister is. She often gets those comments of "Oh, you'll grow out of it" or "You just haven't met the right man yet", and it pisses her off.
Still, i try my best to validate her, and sometimes i take pictures of things with the asexual flag colors and sent them to her saying "Look! Is your flag!!" She gets really happy when i do that.
And, like, i think Aroace people are so cool, i've learned a lot about relationships and human bonds with them. More than i have ever learned with Allo people like me lmao.
I’m sure your sister appreciate the heck out of you cuz it’s hurts the most when your own family just doesn’t get it or validate you
@@bmudangel Yeah, it does hurt a lot. I'm part of the Lgbtq+ as well, the both of us get the "You'll grow out of it" talk lol.
To be honest, every ace I've met has been the coolest person in the room most of the time.
The rat burger part made me die of laughter. I'll be using that next time 🤣
Also, your not-so-understanding friends will try to set you up on a date with someone they know or try to get you to make a dating app profile.
I never actually revealed to any of my friends that I’m aroace but all of them just assume that everyone who is single wants to be in a relationship. So annoying!
I’m content bonding with a few friends. I don’t want to be touched, hugged, or kissed in a romantic/sexual way… nope!
I'm 14 and aroace. Just a couple of months ago I met a new friend at school and I told her that I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with anyone. She keeps saying things along the lines of "I don't believe you" and this pisses me the hell off. I hope that she will eventually understand, but every time I mention being aro she thinks I'm lying and I don't know what to do. HELLLPPPP
Well it’s understandable when people don’t understand aroace folks. Being aroace just sounds so impossible to some ppl that it’s hard for them to believe ppl who are aroace. I would say that working it out and help your friend understand what aroace is. You can tell them what being aroace truly means to you, and how it makes you feel when they deny you when you’re trying to be open with them. But if your friend absolutely refuses that part of you, they are not being a good friend. Friends support one another and always try to understand you as best they can if they care about u.
Hello! I am aroace as well and I absolutely hate being told that I’m just too young to know (I’m 17). Literally people my age are getting into relationships, kissing, having sex, etc. I know I have zero interest in kissing or touching another person intimately. The thought disgusts me honestly.
Although, I do enjoy reading smutty fanfiction and fantasizing about fictional couples kissing and having sex. I feel arousal thinking about these situations and none of my fantasies include myself. They’re all from a third person perspective for me. This is described as being aegosexual.
I’m so glad I found your channel. You seem like such a chill person :) Happy Holidays and happy new year!
Yes same man (sorta). I think I might be aegosexual too or close idk- I’m still not super sure on where I am under the asexual umbrella.
I’m glad you like my videos - happy holidays and new year :”)
I remember either pretending to love someone (I was thinking I'm not pretending, I just can't tell if its platonic or romantic), I did imagine if I love my best friends or not for the sake of relationships and to be "normal", or vice versa since childhood I avoid even hints that a person can love me in a romantic sense. "Um... Did you say you love me? Sorry, I'm a little silly! Oh, is that a bird?" and every time, especially in childhood, I thought that I was just too old for this, or vice versa "not ready." And everything fell into place just recently, when I found out that I am aromantic... I literally thought that I am broken until this year
Glad you’ve found something that finally describes your experience. Realizing that you’re not alone on this
Im aroace and I def relate!
My dad told me that “well my sister used to be like that and now shes married with a bunch of kids!” Like 😭 it just felt so sad to me he badically told me it is a phase
Same
I was in a "relationship" for a year in 7th grade because I assumed that the way I felt about him (like a bff) was also how he felt about me, and that's just what relationships were. I never had the desire to kiss or anything, and never experienced crushes, I never related to other people my age but didn't really know why. I really relate to what you said about the media making it seem like allo-everything is the norm, it took me 18 years to realise I was aroace for this reason... this literally explains so much confusion and just messed up feelings from my teens, I am seriously so glad I've found this label and this community
I’m glad to have found the aroace label too. Happy u were able to relate to my video and found it helpful in any way
Funny how other people make other's sexuality (and lack thereof) their business... and also how they think they understand your sexuality better you do😑
For real
And when people finally realize you're not gonna grow out of it, they'll start coming up with the trauma history & mental health explanations. Been there, seen that, aroace in their thirties 👌😂
Bro.they water at the mouth to say that
@@bmudangel yeah. Like that's what it _have to be_ if we're not just late bloomers 😅
"not married? she must be a mentally unstable WITCH"
@@bmudangel frr it's funny
Some of the things people say just don't make any fucking sense. Like: "Oh, you're asexual? Are you a plant? Hahaha I'm so funny I made a joke about asexuals reproducing without sex like plants hahaha" Like did someone actually use their time to come up with that??? And do people genuinely find that funny??
Jokes like those get old fastttt
i've identified with so many other labels within the aroace spectrum but at the end of the day idk anymore i just know i'm aromantic and ace-spec and queerplatonic
I was born without a romantic bone in my body. Everything about romance and romantic love, feels so contrived and phoney, and a huge energy drain. People who are romantics really do not understand people who aren't. I think romance is actually an addiction. People get high on the feeling. Nothing wrong with that, but there are many other ways besides romance and sex, to stimulate endorphins and other happy brain hormones etc.
Yeah and everyone’s different. Some ppl need romance and some ppl don’t need it. And not having romance in our lives doesn’t make our life less meaningful or less possible to have a happy life.
@@bmudangel exactly!
Almost every date I've been on in my lifetime I felt like I was going through the motions and not feeling much interest at all. Sometimes I'd feel trapped or stifled.
I found something a religious person pointed out interesting. He pointed out that churches used to embrace this way of life, not sure of a better way to put it, that they were able to focus on spiritual matters instead of getting tied up in romance and sex it was seen as a gift from God. Now I'm not trying to preach but I think that mindset that it's not a negative thing it's just one less thing complicating your life. I'm not aro or ace at all but I'm very much of the you be you mindset you don't hurt anyone with this so it's your business.
Platonic love was still better than sex and romance
I can relate to this video because people often make "jokes" about me being aroace saying that I feel less emotions than they do. Thanks for spreading awareness
Yeah it’s rlly just ignorance sometimes but it’s still annoying
That sounds awful. I'm sorry
The internet is good. I had no idea what to call this when I was young. They can't call me a robot though because I have very deep friendships. My friends are the best.
Also aroace here 💜💚 you're so cute and funny! I'm happy I found this video on international asexuality day no less! Happy ace day!
Awe I’m so flattered! And I can’t believe I didn’t know it was ace day but I’m glad you enjoyed the video
I’m aroace and I want to be alone and never with anyone but my “friend” well they say we aren’t and told strangers we’re a couple which really bothers me cause I only like them as a friend and I don’t want more.
But they still push their feelings on me even when I said I ain’t ready nor do I wanna be with anyone it’s very frustrating. To the point I don’t wanna say I’m lesbian or anything I just wanna avoid it all together I don’t go around telling any and ever strange i love girls like they do and it just makes me even more uncomfortable in this situation.
I feel trapped and I told them that’s how I get in any relationship I ever had I prefer my alone time I Do not need a relationship to be fulfilled I hope they can get over their feelings for me and we can go pack to just friends & instead of jumping into we’re a couple actually ask me if was ready which no they just keep pushing it on me and it’s just frustrating. I’ve said I’m aroace I said I wasn’t ready but they’re pushing me into this didn’t ask IF I WAS READY OR WANTED TO BE IN ONE!
I hate how what I’ve said is being completely ignored by someone who’s SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND.
That’s a stressful situation. But like u said , they’re supposed to be your friend. Even if they possibly get over their feelings for you and you guys go back to being normal friends again , would you really want a friend who would ignore your feelings to such a degree. Plus, I’ve been in a similar situation where I stayed friends with someone who didn’t see me as a friend and caused me so much headache and it all only lead to heartache when I had to cut them off. I had to realize that I didn’t want a friend who had disrespected me so many times. Friends respect each other. Not saying you should cut off your friend but you’re friend is showing you a nasty side of them and it’s you’re choice whether you’re gonna accept it or not. Your choice if that’s the kind of friend you want
@@bmudangel thank you!!! This helps me so much I’ll definitely need to talk to them and tell her and try and make her understand and if she doesn’t maybe can’t be friends I hope she does understand tho, We have been friends for many years know and I only have liked them as a friend. Imma tell them I’m frustrated and she can not decide for me. If she actually cares about me she’ll be patient or understand I don’t want a relationship at all ever.
Thank you for your advice this really helps!
And honestly no I wouldn’t want a friend who constantly pushes their feelings on me and completely ignores any time I mention I don’t feel that way if she continues to ignore it I probably will have to unfriend her :/
But I hope she understands and isn’t going to continue to push cause she is a nice person.
this is kinda subjective but I rlly like robots so when ppl say being aro is like a robot I take it as a compliment ○( ＾w＾)っ robots are cool fr
I'm aroace as well, it's amazing to have someone to relate 2! Great video, subed!
Oh, im glad you are able to relate to me! And thanks sm for subbing , it means a lot
it was amazing to me when I found out Im aromantic. I always asked myself why I don´t want a romantic relationship ...
Wohoo education! Spiced with jokes! :D
My personal number one on the list is the inhuman thing. I used to believe I am broken for a really long time. Like I used to hate myself for not being able to have passionate s3x (I hate the sound of that, but it's true) with the person I love, because he wanted it. Very unhealthy, obviously. Don't do that anymore.
About the robot-voice thing: Why would anyone say that? To you in particular? I really enjoy listening to your voice because it's so calm. The way you talk, you seem like a thoughtful person.
Yeah I used to rlly beat myself up about being aroace but I’ve learn to accept that part of me more than ever.
And about the robot thing, I don’t get that specific comment a lot but it doesn’t bother me at all. I understand cuz sometimes my mannerisms, the way I speak, my sorta disconnection with emotions/facial expressions, etc. It’s mostly just me calling myself a robot as a joke (and it has nothing to do with me being aroace).
But you’re rlly flattering me, thanks lol
I love this. Not only are you also AroAce, but you look like me!
I live for every ounce of aroace content I can find, thank you for this! 😶🌫
Lol. Thank U for watching
I am officially hosting the first Modomnoc’s Day at my college CalArts. It is the friendship version of Valentine’s Day other aro-aces recently started claiming. Practically, I’m the ambassador of the aromantic and asexual community amongst our large queer student population. The origin story is a 6th century Irish saint (St. Modomnoc) who befriended bees and cared for gardens. This will be kind of a small party start, but it will be cool to lead an obscure holiday to dedicate towards us and the universal love. We will eat honey, crackers, cheese and apple cider. I will set up bee + flower crafts and give antenna party favors. It’s gonna be a great time. 🐝💐
That’s actually rlly amazing
That's such a cool idea! I love that!! :)
I have been listening to Olivia O'Brien "Fuck Feelings," and this has been my favorite song by far. This encompasses the way I feel about most things in general. In fact, this should be the aroace community national anthem.
Just seeing ace content today helps so much, just want you to know you helped an old ace dude breath a bit easier. Not sure why it means more today than usual but thanks for the video, it means a lot sometimes just to be reminded you're not the only one.
It does rlly help. I’m happy my video helped you :””) thanks for watching
That's a mooood there... same here!
NICE VENOM SHIRT!!
Love your energy and your message. So good to be true to oneself. I am now twenty-seven and have never been in a romantic relationship -- it never felt right and the desire wasn't strong enough. A deeper desire to know what feels true always called me to seek and act and love in more inclusive or "agape" ways. Now I'm trying sincerely to open up to the possibility of entering a relationship, but it feels off. Messy, misaligned. Loss of power. I feel free and able to show up for everyone more as an individual (or one who seeks to unify with everyone I encounter, instead of with just one person). Things could change, but for now, just doing me like this.
Wonderful comment. I agree sm.
I have been ace since long before the term was brought to my attention. I do wish I had been made aware sooner but it would not have changed me but rather likely made me more comfortable in knowing that the indescribable complicated feelings towards sexual and romantic relations was/is perfectly acceptable and that I'm not the only one. As we now progress into the wider public consciousness we just need more and better representation in the media to better normalize it all.
Yeah it just felt like a tiny weight on my shoulder was taken off when I figured out I was aroace. Like I finally figured out a mystery lol
i'm not aro nor ace, but hearing these things sound annoying asf
They rlly are lol
You could say I have enough stress in my life already, and I do not need anything else. That is something I knew that I never had. And that is truth. Or having children.
I'm not aroace myself but I am an ace, and when you said that being in a relationship felt like a nightmare, I just could relate so much! Being in any kind of intimate relationship feels like a nightmare to me, thank you for saying that, it really makes me happy to see someone that I can relate to when it comes to my sexuality
I’m happy u were able to relate with me on that lol
You seem like a very cool and chill person, theres not a ton of aroace content out there and so its always nice to see stuff like this get posted. Keep up the good work!👍
Ahhh thanks sm. I’m glad u enjoy what I do
Gooood this makes me think so much how i explained that im demisexual (so also on the ace spectrum) and got doubled down sooooo hard that it doesnt exist, that if im not straight, im either gay or bi. Having to explain over and over again, that it is real -_-
Please don't stop making video's about ace and aro spec!
I’ll try lol
@@bmudangel Aslong you enjoy doing them ofcourse! 😀
@@WitchOnABroomstick oh I do for sure. It’s a matter of knowing what else to talk about but I’ll be happy to make more aroace vids for u folks
@@bmudangel Right, good point you got there, i have no idea myself neither actually😅But the way you present yourself in video's is something i enjoy watching.
You stay real and true to yourself, along with the bluntness. i love it 😄 enough of me rambling. I wish you good health and much luck in 2023💚💜🖤
@@WitchOnABroomstick oh you’re rlly flattering me lol. Thank you. Good luck in 2023 for u too
also in my experience when allo people are single, they tend to actively desire a relationship + (for younger people) feel upset if they haven't had much/any dating experience when they feel like they should've or when they have other friends who are in or have been in relationships? whereas i didn't know that was A Real Issue People Had ™ until i went to college ( I was homeschooled) where it very much is/was a topic of concern for many people i knew. all that to say it's just silly to invalidate aro/aceness bc it's a very distinct feeling from allo-ness & a lot of allos might understand that better if they weren't so caught up in how ~it must be sad not to have those feelings~ and similar bs lmfao
it seems like there's a decent amount of teen aro and/or ace people in the comments & you're not too young to know lmao. i know multiple people who started having crushes when they were like 4 or 5, and i don't think i know any allo person who didnt for sure start to have crushes grade school onward. meanwhile i can look back and confidently say i have never had a crush
it's frustrating when people say you'll change your mind, you'll start wanting that connection, etcetc (which are things you'll hear whether you're out or just say youre not interested, in my experience), but as people are already saying, they don't know what you're feeling better than you. theyre projecting on you bc they want that type of emotional connection and don't understand it's not universal. & if you discover down the line you're on a different part of the aro/ace spectrum than you thought, or that youre not on it at all, it just means you've grown and changed as you get to know yourself :)
anyway it made me v happy to see the video today & idk what types of things you want to talk about on your channel but there are soooo many topics that would benefit from more aro/ace voices even if your orientation isnt the main focus of the video/channel. like people are def way more aware of asexuality today than a few years ago and that's nice but there's a difference in acknowledging that non-allo people exist & having a non-allo perspective and experience, if that makes sense. and that's not anyone's fault, we all speak to what we know, but it can be tiring sometimes!
This comment made me happy to read cuz it’s so thorough lol. I agree with u sm. Thanks for watching my vid
Good news, I've made it to age 46 without growing out of my aro "phase", so I think maybe it's permanent, ya know?
I've known since puberty that I wasn't interested in dating the way my friends were. That was back in the dark ages when the internet barely existed, and I certainly wasn't using it yet, so nope, that wasn't what did it. Books, movies, and song lyrics where romance is the main theme have always seemed boring and shallow to me, but there are so few other options out there, and the pickings were even slimmer back in the 90s. Media of any kind definitely did not influence me to "become" aro, because there just isn't that much aro media.
I know that I don't want a relationship in the same way I know that I don't want to hug a cactus-- it's just instinctive. The difference is, I actually have tried relationships due to social pressures and thinking that was what I was supposed to be doing at various life stages, so I do actually know how miserable they make me. There was nothing wrong with the people I tried being with, it was the overall concept of a relationship that made me feel stifled. Finally learning, in my 40s, that aromanticism is a thing has been so awesome, being able to put a name to what I've always felt.
If I could have chosen whether or not to be aro, I think I would choose it. Relationships just seem like more work than they're worth to me. The only thing I would have chosen differently would be to understand what it was from a younger age.
Stifled is the exact right word for how romantic relationships make me feel
this is so relaxing!
Glad you think so
I've had problems with a couple of people who didn't accept that I was not acting the way they want so I know what it's like as I've had 2 former friends from College who had an insane crush on me, 1 of them demanded that I become Straight for them and the other went so far to say that she wants to make me a Straight person and that I need to know what 'proper love' is and to get someone to show me and one day I'll learn in a mark my words manner both of which creeped me out and made me cut them off so they lost a friend as that's just a big NO NO as that's just very creepy. Not sure about the other one but I know for a fact that 1 of them are very passionate about Valentines Day and probably thinks that I hate her passion which would not be true because I'm happy to hangout, have parties, have fun & help out with things I just wouldn't want to do anything romantic with anyone. I also think some people (Mostly Heteros) think it's an excuse, that what you really think is that you think they're ugly or you hate them or something. I've seen this kind of thing happen to other LGBTQIA+'s like Gay/Lesbians when they get attention from some Heteros.
I've also once been told I am not what I'm saying I am from someone who had a crush on me and I figured that she was just trying to groom me, mess with my mind and convince me I'm Straight just so she could have a chance with me. Pretty evident when she went from trying to be manipulative into telling me that she can convert me then tries to charm me with singing & music then saying that "1 day you'll leeeaarn" which is saying "Mark my words". I blocked her after that as that's just messed up & creepy.
Luckily I was gone from College and that it was only online over because my goodness she seemed desperate and I could hear a slight panicked tone from her and the other was really irate! Definitely plan to avoid them on my travels if I see any of them again.
Still, that didn't stop me from being honest & upfront with who I am and I always explain in case they don't know or ask.
Also another thing I hate is when some people say "You'll live a happier, more fulfilling life being in a relationship" and "It just takes time and that's just how it goes" as if they're experts. It's also amusing when a person who has a crush on someone say "You'll live a happier, more fulfilling life being in a relationship" because normally they mean themselves.
Man, I relate to this so bad. I had one guy who was sooo delusional and obsessed with the idea of me and him getting together. I was so sad to stop being friends with him cuz I was waiting for him to get a gf n stuff so me and him can be normal friends. It made me realize that I don’t ever wanna “friend - zone” ppl. It sucks to be “friends” with someone who doesn’t even see me as a friend but instead just someone to pursue/eventually date.
@@bmudangel Oh man I was glad to stop being friends with 1 of the people I mentioned as I heard she could be uncouth to people so even if I was Straight I wouldn't want to be with her as I would be getting into a toxic relationship as well as being dragged or accidentally walk into the middle of drama by her or someone she upset! My Aro/Aceness helped me dodge a bullet there because she seemed so nice haha but that's often the case with a toxic bully who is attracted! 😅 Also the 2 people I mentioned had a tendency to follow me around and chat me up. It's also sometimes that it's just having a really friendly personality and/or having a lot in common that draws people in and often confused with trying to charm someone into a relationship.
@@IwannAngelo yeah your situation was crazy and good thing u got yourself out of it cuz GOD- That would drive me crazy. But that last part reminded me of when it use to baffle me when ppl take some of things I do as romantic signals. Like the way I smile or how much I smile at someone or Like, one guy who liked me thought I liked him back cuz he kissed me on the cheek once on valentines and I turned red. He took that as a sign that I like him too but I turned red cuz I was just rlly embarrassed and off put by it
@@bmudangel 😮💨Ugh, yeah and mine was kiss & love heart emojis which was really inappropriate so it was clear to me she was trying so hard to get me to swoon and win me over. 🙄😒
@@IwannAngelo I hated when people would try to flirt with me in any way. Especially it was rlly forward or trying to be romantic like lifting my head up with their finger (ew I still cringe to that memory to this day) or trying to hold my hand. Like idk man. I just can’t. Like even being flirted through text makes me so uncomfortable. Unless ur flirting with me as a funny haha joke , I’m gonna cringe to death.
If there's a demand and if you do want to make more videos about it, maybe your experiences would be interesting (like coming out to family or friends) or an aro ace themed q & a
Oh those are good ideas. I would do the coming out to family/freinds but I already have and it will probably be a kinda depressing video lol. But I could do an AroAce q&a video if I set smth up maybe.
the tornado reference reminds of when I said there was a dangerous hole in my ceiling and I said "hopefully the upstairs doesn't come crashing down on me today" or the other one where I said "hopefully I don't get struck by lightening today" or "come get me heat stroke" xD But getting back to the main topic, I was in a trauma bonded relationship for 3 and a half years and was heavily invalidated as an asexual during that time. The whole "I can change that" type of mentality and that abuser still has the nerve to stalk my youtube 2 years after I cut it loose
Sounds damn good that you cut that relationship loose. Also, I kinda feel you on the fam not taking you seriously.
@@bmudangel those people will never take me seriously xD
Thanks for making this, we need more aroace content! I like your down to earth personality and clear explanations
Ur so sweet. I’m glad u found what I said clear cuz I was getting all caught up in my words sometimes lol
I love this video! I love watching people talk about their experiences being aroace, it makes me feel so seen. ❤ Just subscribed!
So I don’t know if indecent to ask but I’m suspecting that I may be aro and I just wanted to know what you think. I haven’t had a crush once, (I’m only like 15) I don’t date at all, I have no interest in dating, kissing, cuddling or anything like that. I’ve always been attracted to the idea of just living with friends in a platonic relationship, I’ve always been so freaking ignorant when others are in relationships, like it has to be extremely obvious for me to take notice. I’m not disgusted by romance in the media because I just assumed it would happen to me but by this age I should be feeling something by now right? I just cant make myself want to date or anything at all. My parents have always assumed my equal treatment to both genders was just love to girls or something, it honestly enrages me so much I can’t describe it because no matter what I saw my parents brains are set. Just physical contact outside of family is very uncomfortable to me and I get so anxious when someone confessed their love to me, it’s a rare occurrence but I don’t know how to react in that situation without angering them. I feel like dating at this point is some sort of obligation, even though I’ve been suspecting being aro for weeks now I still try to mentally assess if I have a crush or if I just like being near that person and it’s always just platonic. So yeah that’s everything I can chalk up so far but I know it’s incredibly cliched but I may really just be too young to be sure?
I started suspecting being asexual around when I was 13 but I didn’t really focus too hard on being aro/ace or taking it too serious until around 17-19. I’m 21 now. Basically, I started suspecting young but I didn’t really think too hard about my sexuality until I was a little older. So it’s fine to lightly claim yourself as aro if you feel that suits u but labels don’t have to be forever in case you change as you get older. So say you’re aro if you want to but don’t stress on it too much since you’re still very young. U don’t have to force yourself to do relationship stuff if u don’t want to or to “prove” anything. U sound you may be aro but once again, you’re young so don’t stress too much about it rn.
@@bmudangel I stress about everything but ill do my best. :D
This video is so good and relatable!
I’m glad u enjoyed :”)
Hey, my day has been normal.
Regarding the robot claim: No, just like others are no robots my aroace self is no robot. I have strenghts and weaknesses, dreams and fears and people who I care about. Just without sexual and romantic attraction.
Decision/ internet: Well put. I felt this way long, long before finding out it exists/ is a thing. I could not have possibly choosen to be this way. And like you are saying: I would not choose it if I could decide. It is okay and most days I appreciate the positive aspects, but I would not have choosen to be aroace in a world where the default is being allo-heterosexual + heteroromantic (+ cis). The world has enough shortcomings that I can say with all honesty, had had a say in this I would have choosen the easy way.
Please, anybody reading that, do not feel offended. Not saying sth is good/ bad, just it is harder to live in societies that take things for granted that do not apply to you.
It made me laugh that you actually responded to my how’s your day question. I also agree with with that it would be easier to be the default expectation and that is why I don’t get why people would think aro/ace people would want to choose to be aro/ace instead of taking the more “normal” route. like, life is hard enough.
Thank you for making this video!! It's so hard to find someone to relate to when your aroace! Also you're really funny & I am subscribing :)
I’m glad u enjoyed it and were able to relate to it. Thanks for subscribing (and thinking I’m funny).
:)
I told my friend I was aroace and she said that exact how do you know things it's so stupid
Well hopefully they’ll come around and understand. With the power of friendship lol
@@bmudangel I mean she's cool about it I think for the most part
Aroace power!! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
Once this dude said I was gonna marry my guy friend and I was like no I’m aroace and he said and I quote “ew that’s gay” and ran away from me
Yeah I’ve had a similar experience once of someone just assuming it’s a fat thing lol
Thanks!!
-AAA battery any pronouns you can’t mess this up
I love you
:”””)
❤
I recently figured out im aro i knew i was ace but its so difficult to come to terms with being aro because the idea of a romantic relationship is cool but when anyone shows interest it doesn't feel like anything. Self love is the most important so i have figured out🥹🐸
Self love is very important 🐸✨
Honestly, with my worldview I would like to be a AroAce. To me, romantic relationships, and especially sexual attraction, are just a relic of nature, annoying, absurd nonsense. I just want to connect with people and interesting their stories and opinions, and not feel any embarrassment due to any romantic and sexual attraction. I am a heterosexual biromantic.