I would love some feedback on my situation. How I am stuck: My dad killed my mom and I ended up homeless at 17, (which is how I believe this pattern got programmed into my subconscious). Now as an adult I have been homeless over 10 times. It keeps manifesting, sometimes completely out of the blue even when I was just doing well financially. How I want it to be different is for me to have stable passive income and a fulfilling career which provides me the ability to afford stable housing. I need income and somewhere to live to make that happen. If I got what I want I could finally get out survival mode and truly start to thrive in my life. Thank you.
Really sorry to hear about what happened when you were 17. Even though you still struggle, it's amazing that you survived that situation. And though you might not have a lot of external resources, you must have plenty of internal resources to get through something like that. Instead of thinking of homelessness manifesting from time to time, check in with yourself, the part that brings you to the point of homelessness and ask it what is its positive intention for you. Even though you don't want to be homeless, there's a part of you that has a strategy to fulfill a positive intention for you and the strategy needs to be updated while you preserve the positive intent. What's important to you about thriving in life?
Thriving is important to me because I like to take care of my physical body, eat organic and do all kinds of extra natural health stuff that requires disposable income. I also like to be able to look out for my sister and send her money when I am thriving.
@@ashleysmashley444 Your answer is what we call criteria. You gave me the criteria for what it means for you to thrive in life. I'm asking a different question though. I'm not being trivial. This matters. What's important to you about thriving?
@ashleysmashley4444 It’s also new to me, I’m also still learning. What I get out of the message in the video is that when we’re stuck in our heads, we don’t see possiblilities. We need to zoom out to look out of our current reality, which is a map, it does not give is the full scope of reality and possibility. We can do this by challenging our believes by challenging what we think is to be true and why we think this. Because of what happened your believe might be that you don’t deserve a home, so you become homeless again. It might help to seperate a house from a home.. Perhaps you have to get concious about that. Your home is in you. Find your home in you. That might give you stability to keep your next house. Find your values, not the ones that have been showed to you as a child, but your own ones and you can bring home and house together. The other believe to challenge is that you’re experiencing that you’re in struggle. Perhaps it helps to reframe this, you’re finding ways to manage your life, so this means you’re trying to take the lead. That might give a more empowering feeling. It might give the space in your head to think things throug and come up with a plan. You’ve got yourself back on track many times before but not from the right believes and clarity. So you have the internal resources to get back up again. Keep asking yourself the questions as mentioned in the video and find clearity by finding your values so you can get on your path in life. Is your sister is in a safe place? Put on your own oxygen mask first before trying to resque others. ❤️ By no means this is meant to act like I know it all. I’m new to this.
LOL. I love your funny little adds that you have sometimes in your videos. I just found your videos today and this my 4th video of yours. So I've seen the cute adds in 2 videos so far and not in the other two I've seen. This being the case, I don't yet have a clear picture of how often you add such fun things. Your wife is adorable. Very cute. Now, I paused the video to write all this and it's only 1:10 in. So I'm going to get back to the main content now. ☺ I'm sure it's great.
Thank you. You are a master-presenter also. It was very engaging. I felt like I was sitting in your office and listening to you. I think you should compile a list of such videos into a survival kit. I Am calling it a survival kit because when growing up, we took our parent's help to get out of stuckness and they introduced us to alternative solutions to our problems. What followed was massive appreciation and gratitude for getting us out of it. But quietly we also imbibed an education in thinking differently. Many times we don't have enough data or knowledge to get out of a stuck situation. Here's where you come into the picture. You want to go questioning and probing to go beyond the immediate situation to get to the point where answers stop coming from the conscious mind. I think when we submit our problems to the subconscious, we find answers coming sooner and later.
I feel stuck in the area of money. I want to have a lot of money and not work for it. I would do experiments, play, travel, explore, create games, videos, interviews, and explore. I would make my life comfortable and delegate everything that I don't like to do, I would quit my 9-5. Having a lot of money would give me a lot of energy and freedom. I can be creative, I would finally do what I like, not because I need to make money but just because I love to do it. Experiment. Having that would give me energy, joy fulfillment, and happiness. That would give me a contribution, influence, fulfillment, connection, and love. and appreciation and that would give me love and fulfillment. A lot of energy life Expression of myself elevation, expansion joy freedom, joy meaning That resourceful state would allow me to create games, conduct interviews, and explore topics of great connections and relationships to help myself and others create meaningful relationships. Give public speeches, and contribute. Resistance: shame, of doing nothing. What would I want, connection, contribution, love, and acceptance from my family and society. I want to feel loved, needed and belong.
Nice! I would remove the restriction of making money without working for it. It's going to take work. As long as it's work you enjoy, it won't feel so much like work.
Either technique can be used for countering modal operators. The 'As If' frame is a more direct counter to a modal operator than values elicitation, but you can definitely use values to move beyond the boundaries of your map.
It would be really interesting to watch you go through this with a client / person who is stuck and go back 3 months / more later to see the results . Im going to attempt it in my life . Maybe il comment and let you know the before and after ? Take care 🤩 from England
It's just getting more specific. For example, if someone is broke financially, and you ask them how would they want their situation to be different, they might say, "I want to be rich." If you follow that with the question, what do you want that would make your situation different, they may say, "I want to go back to school so that I can start on a new career."
Are some NLP techniques supposed to be practiced systematically and others work lightning fast (with very few repetitions? For instance, if I'm doing a pattern interruption technique in something that disturbs me and it keeps coming back, does that mean that I'm doing it wrong or it's normal and just takes time until it becomes automated? Thanks
Simply interrupting a pattern isn't enough. For example, the Swish Pattern is a pattern interrupt and it includes an intervention. You might need more of an intervention to move you to another state or understanding. Or, you might night to find the origin of the issue and change it there.
That's a start. You need to go deeper though. Control sounds nice but it's an illusion. Safety is necessary for fulfillment but you're not going to get fulfillment from safety alone. Safety just enables you to relax enough to reach higher values. For example, once you have safety, then what? It's not very satisfying. It actually gets quite boring. How do you fulfill more safety? Do you wear a bulletproof vest? Get more locks on your doors? Wear a helmet 24/7? So there's not much you can do if you just stick with safety. What is important to you about safety? What does it do for you?
It stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. I've done several videos explaining it. Just search my name, Damon Cart, and NLP on UA-cam and you'll find in depth explanations about what it is.
@@DamonCartmy Aunt who is a Ph.D and a Clinical Psychologist in Hawaii - sent me one of your videos to watch because I have a Passive Aggressive Mother who has been EXTREMELY toxic towards me recently. My Aunt suggested I check you out, and I am VERY happy she did !! 👍🏽😊
I never thought these words were powerful or believed in language patterns I heard of the Meta and Milton but never understood them until someone mentioned priming even then I thought ....and? Then the Penny dropped as if a miracle happened imagine that what would that feel like And laugh as you learn 😂😂😂
My problem that is stuck - my weight. I am obese and want to but seem unable to get myself to lose weight How do you know that you're stuck? - No matter what I do or the techniques I try I always end up not losing weight, giving up, or making things worse. And the reason I feel stuck now is because I can't get myself to stick with anything more than 24 hours How would you like your situation to be different? - I would like to be half my size, have more energy, be able to bend like a normal person, be able to play more with my kids. What do you want that would make your situation different? - I want to lose weight, be more active, eat healthier and feel better If you got what you want what would that do for you? - I think I would have more energy, be able to focus on other things in my life and stop obsessing over my weight, have a better chance of a longer healthier life, be more active and want to participate in more activities
Hi, there usually is a positive intention behind unwanted habits/behaviours. If you are able to sit alone in a quiet place and ask that part of your subconscious mind what is the part that runs the over eating behaviour trying to do for you it usually let's us know in a thought etc /vision /knowing. When we know then it can make it easier to find swops/alternative ways to get that positive intention met and then follow the steps in the video ( that's what I've found but only do this if it feels right to you. I just wanted to share it incase it helps ) Good luck on your journey
@allieboballiee for the answer to the first question, has there ever been a time in your life when you did lose weight even if you weren't intending to? And, have you ever stuck with anything for more than 24 hours like you probably brush your teeth daily if not twice a day and you've been doing that your whole life, right? That would count as sticking with something for more than 24 hours, wouldn't it? What other activities and behaviors have you stuck with for more than 24 hours? For your answer to the last question, what's important to you about living a longer, healthier life? What would being more active and participating in more activities do for you?
@@DamonCart I've only managed to lose substantial amount of weight twice in my life, both in my twenties. First time when I was traveling the world and not thinking about it all and the second time after a breakup that had made me gain all and more weight that I lost from the first attempt. After that I met my husband and steadily gained all back and have gone through several attempts to lose it again (now in my forties). I meant the dieting/exercising habits for the 24 hour thing. I used to work out 3-4 times a week, twice with a pt, and eat super healthy but the weight wouldn't budge. I was overstressed and also had hormone imbalance. I just gave up. Being more active - a better more fulfilled life. I imagine a life with more hiking and travel. Bike rides, beaches and joining in on fun activities with my family.
@@AllieBoBalliee I think you'll find some good answers if you explore how you thought about food, being active, and life in general when you traveled the world in your 20s. When you first start losing weight it may take a lot of conscious effort because you have to break habits and establish new ones, but the people who lose weight and keep it off do so because they shift into a strategy of maintaining their health rather than being constantly focused on it. One of the great things about travel is that we're not in routine mode, which allows us to see things we're normally blind to because of our routines. Another thing to keep in mind is that it is a scientific fact that if you reduce your energy intake (calories) while continuing to be physically active, you cannot not lose weight. Many people think they don't over consume calories until they spend a week counting every calorie they eat everyday. It surprises nearly everyone when they try this because they realize they're consuming far more than they thought. For the last question you answered, you first answered by jumping to the the end, fulfillment. We experience fulfillment when we're fulfilling multiple values that are very important to us. Then the next part of your answer shifted to criteria, which is basically your definition of what being more active would be like for you. I was asking a values question and your answer didn't include your values, which is a clue. You're values are a missing piece. What would being more active and participating in more activities do for you? What's important about that for you? Of course it would be fulfilling. What's important to know is what are those values you would be fulfilling if you were more active that would lead you to fulfillment?
The quality of my thoughts determine the quality of my life.
~Marcus Aurelius
Great video Damon. Very engaging. Great message. And love the beginning 😂
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
I would love some feedback on my situation.
How I am stuck:
My dad killed my mom and I ended up homeless at 17, (which is how I believe this pattern got programmed into my subconscious).
Now as an adult I have been homeless over 10 times. It keeps manifesting, sometimes completely out of the blue even when I was just doing well financially.
How I want it to be different is for me to have stable passive income and a fulfilling career which provides me the ability to afford stable housing.
I need income and somewhere to live to make that happen.
If I got what I want I could finally get out survival mode and truly start to thrive in my life.
Thank you.
Really sorry to hear about what happened when you were 17. Even though you still struggle, it's amazing that you survived that situation. And though you might not have a lot of external resources, you must have plenty of internal resources to get through something like that.
Instead of thinking of homelessness manifesting from time to time, check in with yourself, the part that brings you to the point of homelessness and ask it what is its positive intention for you. Even though you don't want to be homeless, there's a part of you that has a strategy to fulfill a positive intention for you and the strategy needs to be updated while you preserve the positive intent.
What's important to you about thriving in life?
Thriving is important to me because I like to take care of my physical body, eat organic and do all kinds of extra natural health stuff that requires disposable income. I also like to be able to look out for my sister and send her money when I am thriving.
@@ashleysmashley444 Your answer is what we call criteria. You gave me the criteria for what it means for you to thrive in life. I'm asking a different question though. I'm not being trivial. This matters. What's important to you about thriving?
I want to feel safe and happy
@ashleysmashley4444
It’s also new to me, I’m also still learning. What I get out of the message in the video is that when we’re stuck in our heads, we don’t see possiblilities. We need to zoom out to look out of our current reality, which is a map, it does not give is the full scope of reality and possibility. We can do this by challenging our believes by challenging what we think is to be true and why we think this. Because of what happened your believe might be that you don’t deserve a home, so you become homeless again. It might help to seperate a house from a home.. Perhaps you have to get concious about that. Your home is in you. Find your home in you. That might give you stability to keep your next house. Find your values, not the ones that have been showed to you as a child, but your own ones and you can bring home and house together. The other believe to challenge is that you’re experiencing that you’re in struggle. Perhaps it helps to reframe this, you’re finding ways to manage your life, so this means you’re trying to take the lead. That might give a more empowering feeling. It might give the space in your head to think things throug and come up with a plan. You’ve got yourself back on track many times before but not from the right believes and clarity. So you have the internal resources to get back up again. Keep asking yourself the questions as mentioned in the video and find clearity by finding your values so you can get on your path in life.
Is your sister is in a safe place?
Put on your own oxygen mask first before trying to resque others.
❤️
By no means this is meant to act like I know it all. I’m new to this.
I love the style of this video 😊, it’s a change from Usual
Thank you.
LOL. I love your funny little adds that you have sometimes in your videos. I just found your videos today and this my 4th video of yours. So I've seen the cute adds in 2 videos so far and not in the other two I've seen. This being the case, I don't yet have a clear picture of how often you add such fun things. Your wife is adorable. Very cute. Now, I paused the video to write all this and it's only 1:10 in. So I'm going to get back to the main content now. ☺ I'm sure it's great.
Thank you.
Yes, sometimes I feel comedic inspiration and include it in my videos. I like to keep it interesting and fun.
Nice job incorporating some humour along with your regular high quality content.
Thank you.
Thank you. You are a master-presenter also. It was very engaging. I felt like I was sitting in your office and listening to you. I think you should compile a list of such videos into a survival kit. I Am calling it a survival kit because when growing up, we took our parent's help to get out of stuckness and they introduced us to alternative solutions to our problems. What followed was massive appreciation and gratitude for getting us out of it. But quietly we also imbibed an education in thinking differently.
Many times we don't have enough data or knowledge to get out of a stuck situation.
Here's where you come into the picture. You want to go questioning and probing to go beyond the immediate situation to get to the point where answers stop coming from the conscious mind.
I think when we submit our problems to the subconscious, we find answers coming sooner and later.
Out-f***ing-standing!! Some profound food for thought, and truly funny as hell!!
Thank you! Lol!
Thank you
You're welcome
I feel stuck in the area of money.
I want to have a lot of money and not work for it.
I would do experiments, play, travel, explore, create games, videos, interviews, and explore.
I would make my life comfortable and delegate everything that I don't like to do, I would quit my 9-5.
Having a lot of money would give me a lot of energy and freedom.
I can be creative, I would finally do what I like, not because I need to make money but just because I love to do it.
Experiment.
Having that would give me energy, joy fulfillment, and happiness.
That would give me a contribution, influence, fulfillment, connection, and love.
and appreciation
and that would give me love and fulfillment.
A lot of energy
life
Expression of myself
elevation, expansion
joy
freedom, joy meaning
That resourceful state would allow me to create games, conduct interviews, and explore topics of great connections and relationships to help myself and others create meaningful relationships. Give public speeches, and contribute.
Resistance: shame, of doing nothing.
What would I want, connection, contribution, love, and acceptance from my family and society.
I want to feel loved, needed and belong.
Nice!
I would remove the restriction of making money without working for it. It's going to take work. As long as it's work you enjoy, it won't feel so much like work.
Thank you always ❤
You're welcome.
Hi Damon (from Italy).
Is this the same technique used for "modal operators"?
Thank you.
Either technique can be used for countering modal operators. The 'As If' frame is a more direct counter to a modal operator than values elicitation, but you can definitely use values to move beyond the boundaries of your map.
@@DamonCart ❤️
its short , good as I cant stand long videos anymore
Great video❤ the jow is create it so appealing.
Thank you.
Thankyou for making this video. High value content
It would be really interesting to watch you go through this with a client / person who is stuck and go back 3 months / more later to see the results . Im going to attempt it in my life . Maybe il comment and let you know the before and after ? Take care 🤩 from England
The what would it be like if it wasnt true part really allowed my mind to explore the alternative life
@@healthymindstribe2636 excellent!
Wanted to ask about the third question: ''What do you want that would make the situation different?'' What's the nuance between the second question?
It's just getting more specific. For example, if someone is broke financially, and you ask them how would they want their situation to be different, they might say, "I want to be rich." If you follow that with the question, what do you want that would make your situation different, they may say, "I want to go back to school so that I can start on a new career."
@@DamonCart Ah, ok, thank you.
Are some NLP techniques supposed to be practiced systematically and others work lightning fast (with very few repetitions? For instance, if I'm doing a pattern interruption technique in something that disturbs me and it keeps coming back, does that mean that I'm doing it wrong or it's normal and just takes time until it becomes automated? Thanks
Simply interrupting a pattern isn't enough. For example, the Swish Pattern is a pattern interrupt and it includes an intervention. You might need more of an intervention to move you to another state or understanding. Or, you might night to find the origin of the issue and change it there.
It would provide adequate money, security and health care.
So it basically comes down to safety and control over my life
That's a start. You need to go deeper though. Control sounds nice but it's an illusion. Safety is necessary for fulfillment but you're not going to get fulfillment from safety alone. Safety just enables you to relax enough to reach higher values. For example, once you have safety, then what? It's not very satisfying. It actually gets quite boring. How do you fulfill more safety? Do you wear a bulletproof vest? Get more locks on your doors? Wear a helmet 24/7? So there's not much you can do if you just stick with safety. What is important to you about safety? What does it do for you?
@Damon Cart what is NLP ??
It stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. I've done several videos explaining it. Just search my name, Damon Cart, and NLP on UA-cam and you'll find in depth explanations about what it is.
@@DamonCartwill do. Thank you. 🙏🏽 I just got introduced to you. ❤
@@angiefromChi Great. How did you find me?
@@DamonCartmy Aunt who is a Ph.D and a Clinical Psychologist in Hawaii - sent me one of your videos to watch because I have a Passive Aggressive Mother who has been EXTREMELY toxic towards me recently. My Aunt suggested I check you out, and I am VERY happy she did !! 👍🏽😊
@@angiefromChi wonderful. I'm happy you check out my videos as well.
I never thought these words were powerful or believed in language patterns I heard of the Meta and Milton but never understood them until someone mentioned priming even then I thought
....and? Then the Penny dropped as if a miracle happened imagine that what would that feel like
And laugh as you learn 😂😂😂
My problem that is stuck - my weight. I am obese and want to but seem unable to get myself to lose weight
How do you know that you're stuck?
- No matter what I do or the techniques I try I always end up not losing weight, giving up, or making things worse. And the reason I feel stuck now is because I can't get myself to stick with anything more than 24 hours
How would you like your situation to be different?
- I would like to be half my size, have more energy, be able to bend like a normal person, be able to play more with my kids.
What do you want that would make your situation different?
- I want to lose weight, be more active, eat healthier and feel better
If you got what you want what would that do for you?
- I think I would have more energy, be able to focus on other things in my life and stop obsessing over my weight, have a better chance of a longer healthier life, be more active and want to participate in more activities
Hi, there usually is a positive intention behind unwanted habits/behaviours. If you are able to sit alone in a quiet place and ask that part of your subconscious mind what is the part that runs the over eating behaviour trying to do for you it usually let's us know in a thought etc /vision /knowing. When we know then it can make it easier to find swops/alternative ways to get that positive intention met and then follow the steps in the video ( that's what I've found but only do this if it feels right to you. I just wanted to share it incase it helps ) Good luck on your journey
@allieboballiee for the answer to the first question, has there ever been a time in your life when you did lose weight even if you weren't intending to? And, have you ever stuck with anything for more than 24 hours like you probably brush your teeth daily if not twice a day and you've been doing that your whole life, right? That would count as sticking with something for more than 24 hours, wouldn't it? What other activities and behaviors have you stuck with for more than 24 hours?
For your answer to the last question, what's important to you about living a longer, healthier life? What would being more active and participating in more activities do for you?
@@DamonCart I've only managed to lose substantial amount of weight twice in my life, both in my twenties. First time when I was traveling the world and not thinking about it all and the second time after a breakup that had made me gain all and more weight that I lost from the first attempt. After that I met my husband and steadily gained all back and have gone through several attempts to lose it again (now in my forties).
I meant the dieting/exercising habits for the 24 hour thing. I used to work out 3-4 times a week, twice with a pt, and eat super healthy but the weight wouldn't budge. I was overstressed and also had hormone imbalance. I just gave up.
Being more active - a better more fulfilled life. I imagine a life with more hiking and travel. Bike rides, beaches and joining in on fun activities with my family.
@@AllieBoBalliee I think you'll find some good answers if you explore how you thought about food, being active, and life in general when you traveled the world in your 20s.
When you first start losing weight it may take a lot of conscious effort because you have to break habits and establish new ones, but the people who lose weight and keep it off do so because they shift into a strategy of maintaining their health rather than being constantly focused on it. One of the great things about travel is that we're not in routine mode, which allows us to see things we're normally blind to because of our routines.
Another thing to keep in mind is that it is a scientific fact that if you reduce your energy intake (calories) while continuing to be physically active, you cannot not lose weight. Many people think they don't over consume calories until they spend a week counting every calorie they eat everyday. It surprises nearly everyone when they try this because they realize they're consuming far more than they thought.
For the last question you answered, you first answered by jumping to the the end, fulfillment. We experience fulfillment when we're fulfilling multiple values that are very important to us. Then the next part of your answer shifted to criteria, which is basically your definition of what being more active would be like for you. I was asking a values question and your answer didn't include your values, which is a clue. You're values are a missing piece. What would being more active and participating in more activities do for you? What's important about that for you? Of course it would be fulfilling. What's important to know is what are those values you would be fulfilling if you were more active that would lead you to fulfillment?