"How Can You Be Pregnant?" || FULL DISCLOSURE || EPISODE 1 [PART 2]

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  • Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
  • Castillo sits down with his first love, ex girl friend Riette because he feels he owe's her a big explanation.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,1 тис.

  • @BreenyLee
    @BreenyLee 2 роки тому +3329

    Castillo should be sitting down with a therapist instead, anyways…
    Ladies learn from men like this, doesn’t matter how good they look, dealing with these level of demons is not worth it.
    Castillo, I pray the Lord heals you.

    • @drastix9
      @drastix9 2 роки тому +116

      we really need to start educating ourselves (black community) on mental health. Black Men & Females have different levels of trauma and psychological/mental issues and the small percentage that are vocal, get attacked or dismissed. Nobody is perfect but the first step is being upfront and honest, which is not easy. People should not be disregarded because of their unjust ways but they should be taught and guided. (Prayer is the key but actions help)

    • @Habibi_6812
      @Habibi_6812 2 роки тому +23

      Therapy doesn’t help

    • @haniamashriq5666
      @haniamashriq5666 2 роки тому +9

      @@Habibi_6812 How wouldn’t proper therapy help?

    • @Habibi_6812
      @Habibi_6812 2 роки тому +23

      @@haniamashriq5666 therapy doesn’t help everyone

    • @denisesandrine7772
      @denisesandrine7772 2 роки тому +22

      Check his page before jumping to conclusions

  • @stephanogabanna
    @stephanogabanna 2 роки тому +3454

    Castillo operates from ALL his traumas and honestly this is what it looks like when you don't open your heart up to forgive people who have hurt you. You literally become the hurtful person. I really do pray he heals fr fr bc it'll all just be a cycle.

    • @jhardworkpaysoff474
      @jhardworkpaysoff474 2 роки тому +10

      💯

    • @bawseeeee602
      @bawseeeee602 2 роки тому

      Sniper out now braaaaavvv

    • @Joshua-re3xw
      @Joshua-re3xw 2 роки тому +15

      His grandmother never gave him the love he needed! She’s to blame for who he’s become today! So sad

    • @rhens8088
      @rhens8088 2 роки тому +45

      @@Joshua-re3xw I agree that she is to blame but he is responsible for making an effort to heal.

    • @NoName-sp5dp
      @NoName-sp5dp 2 роки тому +92

      @@rhens8088 she is not to blame tf

  • @ademilayoade
    @ademilayoade 2 роки тому +809

    People keep saying he’s making excuses, but not once did he actually make an excuse. He never justified his behaviour; he just told her where is rationale was developed from. He told her how he feels and made it clear that’s his reality. His reality is he has shut himself completely from emotions because of his childhood and that’s valid.
    This man is the epitome of childhood trauma and he acknowledged that several times when he kept referring to his parents.
    The guy is actually closer to healing than we think and it’s beautiful to see someone acknowledge they’re toxic and own their toxicity.
    With regards to the child thing; as a mother, I understand her sentiment. However, the reality is for someone who was adamant they didn’t want children, finding out they’ve been lied to, is just additional trauma; especially when he doesn’t have a say in it. He clearly didn’t want children because he’s scared he’ll break the them the way he was broken.
    Yes, he should have strapped up; but the woman who lied to him also has some blame here. When a man/woman tells you they don’t want children, please believe them. It’s deeper than we think. He needs to heal from that too and deal with the trauma attached to having a child he didn’t want. Being a parent is hard, it’s even harder when it’s a child you didn’t want.
    Yh he’s emotionally detached but even attempting to be there out of obligation is something … obviously with help he can start to open up to idea of loving the child and being there out of love; but it’ll take time and from this convo I’m hopeful he’ll get there.
    I actually believe that he loved the girl. She didn’t listen to him; she’s still dealing from pain and her hurt is 1000% valid. However, this is the first time I’ve heard a toxic man actually admit he cheated because of HIS OWN insecurities. She dismissed himself several times and couldn’t bring herself to understand their relationship from HIS perspective. This could have actually been healing for her and a form of validation. It wasn’t her; it was him and from MY understanding he took responsibility for that.
    He actually did love her and possibly still loves her. It’s a big statement for him to make that she’s the only person he saw his grandmother (definition of love) in.
    He definitely messed it up; and she shouldn’t go back to him BUT at least he’s acknowledged his wrong and it’s now for him to get therapy to finish the healing process that has already started.
    Contrary to most peoples opinions; I’m actually proud of him lol. He’s on a solid path and if he continues he would actually have so much love to offer his child and potentially open himself up to even receiving and giving healthy romantic love.

    • @senegiamorgan6159
      @senegiamorgan6159 2 роки тому +20

      💯💯💯💯

    • @johnlewis5693
      @johnlewis5693 2 роки тому +12

      FACTS!!!!

    • @MissDeexo
      @MissDeexo 2 роки тому +6

      EXACTLY

    • @dbard
      @dbard 2 роки тому +3

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @cynthiayoung4708
      @cynthiayoung4708 2 роки тому +18

      Very well said! 👏🏽 I couldn't agree more.

  • @rickibobbi3345
    @rickibobbi3345 2 роки тому +3674

    Props to her for standing up for the innocent child and not excusing his behaviour or reasonings towards abandoning his child.

    • @Lxkizzy
      @Lxkizzy 2 роки тому +120

      If the women did lie about being able to reproduce she should be liable to be prosecuted, practically the same thing as a women poking holes in a condom then roping you into an impossible situation if she fell pregnant to trap you or extort you for child support, not condoning dismissing a life you’ve created but a women lying about something like that when you’ve stated its not what you want should be considered a criminal act.

    • @rickibobbi3345
      @rickibobbi3345 2 роки тому +167

      @@Lxkizzy just like he should be prosecuted for lying to all 16 women pretending he was in a relationship with them meeting there parents, putting EVERYONE at risk for possible STD’s and more unwanted pregnancies. Your sleeping with someone you don’t give a fuck about and don’t trust… what did you think was going to happen. Don’t play victim

    • @Lxkizzy
      @Lxkizzy 2 роки тому +110

      @@rickibobbi3345 sleeping around isn’t against the law mate and yes if he gave them stds he should and most likely would be prosecuted for it if it was a serious std. but you deflecting what was said shows your clear bias with a real problem men have to deal with constantly having no say over a womens pregnancy when we are considered “equal partners” when the birth takes place and liable to cough up large sums in child support even if it wasn’t something we asked for or wanted, condoms break, birth control doesn’t always work, women lie as shown yet we have no say in a childs birth?

    • @rickibobbi3345
      @rickibobbi3345 2 роки тому +1

      @@Lxkizzy so you have a girlfriend at home… yet you chose to go and sleep with someone unprotected. Yet you proceed, ejaculate in her freely trusting a ‘random’ then say you have no say in a woman’s pregnancy. You as a man have control over what you do, don’t want a baby by a random? stop sleeping with a random. It’s all a choice, you can’t make a choice to trust a ‘random’ woman’s word then freely buss a nut and then play victim after because you have no say? Where’s the logic. It could of all been avoided if you just simply abstain from sex or just sleep with your actual partner. This is the problem with guys like you no accountability.

    • @huldah1605
      @huldah1605 2 роки тому +26

      @@Lxkizzy We only know his side though so we can't just jump to conclusions.
      What we do know though is the guy is reckless and very irresponsible so the woman is 💯 right for supporting the child

  • @hopebryant6752
    @hopebryant6752 2 роки тому +1611

    I just can’t skip past him saying he had his first sexual experience when he was 5 with someone that was older than him. That is so sad and traumatizing and definitely adds to the reason why he is the way he is today. I’ll never understand how grown women and men can prey on little children.

    • @rhem
      @rhem 2 роки тому +9

      No I swear he said his grandmother said that

    • @sheauthenticated5213
      @sheauthenticated5213 2 роки тому +1

      Me too! I cannot see / hear anything he but that 😓

    • @acholmanon5284
      @acholmanon5284 2 роки тому +4

      Literally… so sad

    • @grub8700
      @grub8700 2 роки тому +12

      He said in a video it wasn't some older woman and that the girl was 13 or smn

    • @georgia8592
      @georgia8592 2 роки тому +7

      Still sick

  • @oliwwer
    @oliwwer Рік тому +53

    Imagine someones nan having castillo in their family photo on the wall while watching this😂😂😂😂

  • @andreaskwngo3898
    @andreaskwngo3898 2 роки тому +1501

    I think the biggest lesson to take from this interaction is. No matter the circumstance a person faces. Once that individual reaches adulthood, it's their responsibility to fix or deal with that trauma. Becuase noone has the right to damage a person just because they are not willing to deal with their own traumatic experiences.

    • @chanicelock3151
      @chanicelock3151 2 роки тому +31

      Nope, the lesson from this is DO NOT TRUST TREND CENTRAL 🤦🏾‍♀️😂

    • @Habibi_6812
      @Habibi_6812 2 роки тому +7

      That not the lesson but ok

    • @neznez6817
      @neznez6817 2 роки тому +32

      @@Habibi_6812 it’s part of it, if you don’t see it i don’t know what to tell you. he brings up his trauma constantly to excuse his actions. while it’s absolutely not his fault for the way his parents were and for the f’d up things he mentioned his grandmother put him through when leaving him with her boyfriend even being assaulted as a 5 year old, it’s absolutely his responsibility to heal that trauma as an adult. instead he continued to hurt those around him including many women and then comes on this show to further insult them as people saying he didn’t give an f about them, ultimately treating them as throw away objects while they were lied to by him about being with him in a relationship. it’s sick, and trauma dumping isn’t an excuse. it is an explanation and i don’t wish anyone the sort of upbringing that he had, but he needs to take responsibility as a grown dude to heal and stop hurting innocent people around him.

    • @Accountability2023
      @Accountability2023 2 роки тому +4

      💯

    • @NavigatelifewithOma
      @NavigatelifewithOma 2 роки тому +1

      Periodt

  • @Charelle16
    @Charelle16 2 роки тому +3842

    He brings everything back to his parents… childhood trauma is real he must have gone thru some mad things

    • @Mitsibishi100
      @Mitsibishi100 2 роки тому +19

      Reminds me of Ramona from the rhony

    • @EstherXHamilton
      @EstherXHamilton 2 роки тому +9

      @@Mitsibishi100 yes!

    • @vaenquiries6728
      @vaenquiries6728 2 роки тому +387

      Still doesn’t grant them the right to be out here traumatizing other people. This woman’s perception of love and trust will NEVER be the same again. She’s beyond damaged after this. She won’t be able to trust her own shadow

    • @generalblack5556
      @generalblack5556 2 роки тому

      @@vaenquiries6728
      She knew what she was getting herself into but ignored the red flags.
      Sometimes you female purposely go for the Below-Par Males so that you can have a story to tell and make yourselves the victor when things go left.

    • @pa21thebeast
      @pa21thebeast 2 роки тому +150

      It’s just an excuse, he’s said he’s not incapable of sympathy or compassion (his grandmother). He just chooses to be vindictive. If anything he’s a narcissist with a sociopathic facade. Justifying things back to his childhood is why those girls are in the position their in.

  • @nkosinathidlamini96
    @nkosinathidlamini96 2 роки тому +36

    Seeing this makes me realise most of us are just lost, children in grown people's body who need healing.
    Pray for Castillo.

  • @vanessgynomie6819
    @vanessgynomie6819 2 роки тому +1295

    I pray Castillo’s child doesn’t see this. Castillo needs a lot of therapy , this is PTSD. Mental health is real and he needs to get help. The young woman also needs to get some therapy because this experience is very traumatic for her.

    • @chanteaaliyah
      @chanteaaliyah 2 роки тому +37

      And that’s why they wanted this removed !

    • @denisesandrine7772
      @denisesandrine7772 2 роки тому +17

      He didn't want to air it out but they posted it anyway. Check his channel

    • @LindaspaceMedia
      @LindaspaceMedia 2 роки тому

      @@denisesandrine7772 what is his channel name

    • @michelleadebiyi2341
      @michelleadebiyi2341 2 роки тому +1

      @@denisesandrine7772 what’s his channel?

    • @hazeldubb
      @hazeldubb 2 роки тому +16

      i hope the mother of the child is also evaluating the situation she put her child and herself in.
      to be pregnant by sb u barely see, hide it then start forcing contact with him makes me think she wanted a man like Castilo in her life.
      she didn't want that baby because it was just a miracle.
      it's sad everywhere

  • @Theglortube
    @Theglortube 2 роки тому +2040

    He definitely wants her back. Give it 10 years this man is gonna be miserable and insane if he doesn’t get serious professional help. How’s he acting like it’s the child’s fault that they landed here? Men avoiding therapy is causing a lot of damaged lives.

    • @michaelbawuah5374
      @michaelbawuah5374 2 роки тому +131

      Castillo ain’t that guy bro he had a hole pyramid scheme of girls while they were together

    • @90jimmychoo
      @90jimmychoo 2 роки тому +55

      if you lived his life or explained that shit to a therapist they'd have to earn every penny to fix him

    • @Theglortube
      @Theglortube 2 роки тому +88

      @@michaelbawuah5374 the way he was talking to her sounded like he wanted her soft spot for him back or something

    • @tontonbonnet7397
      @tontonbonnet7397 2 роки тому +31

      Avoiding healing, avoiding god and/or spirituality, avoiding abstinence. Therapy isn’t a be all end all. In my experience there’s some therapists Moree focused on their ideologies than their client. However, I can definitely say therapy took me out of a 10 year depression

    • @harrybakesXD
      @harrybakesXD 2 роки тому +15

      Watch the video addressing this on his channel, he has since gone to therapy and changed his attitude towards his child

  • @KTheInfinite
    @KTheInfinite 2 роки тому +66

    It's actually quite sad listening to him. The level of detachment and lack of emotional awareness is scary

  • @genevadesireegarcia9259
    @genevadesireegarcia9259 2 роки тому +2027

    I love her ❤️ she carriers herself with a lot of decorum. The fact that she stood up for a child that was made during their relationship is so pure

    • @user-qc5pq2tk1r
      @user-qc5pq2tk1r 2 роки тому

      Shut up no1 cares

    • @genevadesireegarcia9259
      @genevadesireegarcia9259 2 роки тому +44

      @Tshikololo dignified behavior, speech, dress, etc.

    • @paullevy-adophy9198
      @paullevy-adophy9198 2 роки тому +11

      not really, nothing pure about it.........it's a woman's natural instinct; it's us men who struggle with that kinda selfless care for another.

    • @Naallaa
      @Naallaa 2 роки тому +9

      🤣🤣 naive ppl. The reason she is calm and collect is she was doing her own nonsense too

    • @Alisha-hj9ne
      @Alisha-hj9ne 2 роки тому +3

      @@paullevy-adophy9198 lmao what

  • @qawlpodcast4773
    @qawlpodcast4773 2 роки тому +1864

    He's actually terrifying, this is antisocial behaviour he's confessing to so casually. She looks like he's making her physically ill, it is probably so traumatizing to hear the person you loved was absolutely not who you thought they were. She could have lived her whole life without knowing any of this. Damn.

    • @zzzzzzzzzzzz1310
      @zzzzzzzzzzzz1310 2 роки тому +134

      He's a 10/10 narcissist. It's so obvious. Literally this video could be a clinical case example for NPD. I felt physically unwell watching her listen to all this. Anyone who had the misfortune of being with a narcissist could understand. Fair play to her for the attitude and composure.

    • @h.4057
      @h.4057 2 роки тому

      @@zzzzzzzzzzzz1310 *factor 1 psychopathy morelike

    • @chanicelock3151
      @chanicelock3151 2 роки тому +54

      Do you think terrifying is the right choice of words though? Emotional damaged might have been better seeing as he is in no way agressive/angry/threatening etc.

    • @InDatOneBag
      @InDatOneBag 2 роки тому +9

      @@zzzzzzzzzzzz1310 that’s just simply not true

    • @sjc5411
      @sjc5411 2 роки тому +43

      @@zzzzzzzzzzzz1310 Narcissist is a word thrown around a lot. When I look at the various definitions used for that word I'd bet I could fit the vast majority of the world's population as narcissists - to a degree.
      For example, one definition: "Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, or other resources." How many people you know do things to benefit themselves at the cost of others, at any point in their lives? To a degree that is 99+% of the current and past human race right there. People seeking fame or notoriety... That's damn near the entire social media generation.

  • @FranTateHomecare
    @FranTateHomecare 11 місяців тому +18

    He is a broken child that still remains a broken adult. He's better off single.

  • @vanessamburu3416
    @vanessamburu3416 2 роки тому +577

    Hold on a damn minute.....
    This nigga ain't brought this girl here to explain shit to her. He did it, for himself. Everything he's saying and how he's relaying it, he might has well just bought a journal cause there's no sensitivity to her feelings throughout this.
    He gets to leave this convo feeling a big relief, got all this off his chest. She's just a pawn. She doesn't need to hear all this, but it makes him feel better about himself for "explaining" to someone why he is how he is.
    This is all so fucking ingenuine. And I'm 5 mins in.

    • @sonnys.5075
      @sonnys.5075 2 роки тому +25

      THIS COMMENT!!

    • @beammeupscottyny
      @beammeupscottyny 2 роки тому +7

      WORD 🤣🤣

    • @s.t3315
      @s.t3315 2 роки тому +31

      Yessss. I thought no is nobody realising this

    • @winnerwinner5992
      @winnerwinner5992 2 роки тому +50

      He is a chatterbox!!!! He likes the sound of his own voice

    • @luluWill
      @luluWill 2 роки тому +8

      This is it!

  • @KateCameron1
    @KateCameron1 2 роки тому +510

    So he’s punishing a child for the actions of his parents who were adults and made their choices…. The cycle of abandonment is sick

    • @SamOSosa100
      @SamOSosa100 2 роки тому +17

      U haven’t lived his life or anything like it so Lowe it his life is fucked I don’t blame him for anything he’s done it’s wrong what he did but it was his way of coping with his life and he’s just trying to make her understand what happened what don’t u people get about this

    • @krystingrant6292
      @krystingrant6292 2 роки тому +38

      @@SamOSosa100 you forgot the kid. My goodness you said all that and forgot the child whose hurt in this

    • @checharles5224
      @checharles5224 2 роки тому

      This why women should never have kids out of the context of a marriage. A lot of men are exercising their bodily autonomy and refusing to consent to fatherhood. The cycle of out of wedlock births should be stopped

    • @KateCameron1
      @KateCameron1 2 роки тому +31

      @@SamOSosa100 Idc I have no sympathy for people not stepping up and caring for their child. Why must the kid be punished

    • @MICHAELATESHAWN
      @MICHAELATESHAWN 2 роки тому +17

      @@SamOSosa100 he’s a grown man who needs therapy. Blaming his messed up life on his child is such a disgusting thing to do. He’s sick and I have absolutely zero sympathy for him.

  • @MRS_ENE
    @MRS_ENE 2 роки тому +368

    Ladies, let’s gather together & affirm ✨
    “I am not a rehabilitation center for men. I refuse to try to save anyone at the detriment of myself. I release the desire to try to help anyone change who lacks personal initiative and ambition to do better for themselves. I will love and forgive from a distance.”
    This woman exhibits so much patience, class, and self-control. I’m proud of you girl! You’re helping break generational patterns of women dealing with men who don’t respect the sacredness of relationships.

    • @OpulentAristocrat
      @OpulentAristocrat 2 роки тому +6

      Factssssssss!🗣

    • @niax782
      @niax782 2 роки тому +12

      This woman is _stunning_ and way too tolerant and forgiving of this BUM. I’ll never understand. I hope she heals and finds the love of her life that’ll treat her right.

    • @tiaxhna532
      @tiaxhna532 2 роки тому +1

      Ijn

    • @user-qi6qs3ud4w
      @user-qi6qs3ud4w 2 роки тому

      @@tiaxhna532 amen

    • @brooklynforever1990
      @brooklynforever1990 2 роки тому

      Thank you 🙌🏼

  • @berenic90
    @berenic90 2 роки тому +608

    She probably left feeling worse. Imagine finding out while being recorded about almost 20 women, and a few he never wore condoms with. How he feels about his own child. She's strong for sitting there and hearing how irresponsible and disgusting he was out there. She better go get a check up.

    • @blaccpanther8715
      @blaccpanther8715 2 роки тому +21

      You dont think this gave her closure? He has admitted his failures and humbled himself in front of her.

    • @simoneleggin9578
      @simoneleggin9578 2 роки тому +99

      @@blaccpanther8715 No, that wasn’t closure and he didn’t humble himself at all. He was just focused on talking and justifying himself and his actions. He said within the first few minutes of this video that he was with about 20 different women because it was an “achievement”. On top of that, he describes these women as looking nothing like her, which must hurt to hear (“one was lightskin with green eyes, one had an accent, one was fit”). He never apologized for putting her sexual and physical health at risk, he never apologized for cheating on her and the psychological implications of that, he just tried to justify it by saying “they meant nothing to me”. That’s scary, because she might feel like “every time I leave my partner alone they could be using this ‘free time’ to cheat like Joseph did”.

    • @haniamashriq5666
      @haniamashriq5666 2 роки тому +73

      @@blaccpanther8715 Seems more like closure for him than her, he gets to get that all of his chest and she’s traumatised all over again 😩

    • @slayer2608
      @slayer2608 2 роки тому +15

      He admitted he caught chlamydia 4 times

    • @esmereldasnickles8056
      @esmereldasnickles8056 2 роки тому +19

      @@blaccpanther8715 Don't make me laugh. In part 1 he was about to lose his shit when he misinterpreted her and thought she cheated. She later went on to ask about if the roles were reversed and he said "Das different". He either sees himself as above women or is EXTREMELY selfish.

  • @tmac7734
    @tmac7734 2 роки тому +201

    Castillo is perpetuating the cycle of abandonment with his child. He has learnt to detach from his emotions to keep himself safe. I hope he seeks therapy so he can heal and stop projecting his trauma on to others.

    • @PrinceRichi
      @PrinceRichi 2 роки тому

      But he isn’t lol did u not listen to what he said… use ur ears 👂

    • @iluvcakes19
      @iluvcakes19 2 роки тому +1

      Didn't he say he is now (recently) in his child's life, not out of love but a sense of obligation?

  • @cannicathomas7865
    @cannicathomas7865 2 роки тому +108

    It's crazy that I totally understand what he's saying. He's being brutally honest and owning his wrong. I pray he gets more self aware and heal for the sake of his child.

  • @pibkyegg6792
    @pibkyegg6792 2 роки тому +448

    I feel like Cas is actually so deeply hurt that he's done the same thing as his biological parents in a way that hes burying the emotion under "i dont feel i dont care" knowing you have put someone esle through the most painful thing about your life can leave you paralysed .. its hard to watch him be so self centred but i feel like its our 'fault' for centering men in society/relationships in general .. i hope he finds peace and detaches himself from the reasons for his behaviour and Riette gets some closure from this the grace and composure from her is something else

  • @Story_and_Her
    @Story_and_Her 2 роки тому +1146

    The only pain he can understand is his own, and he uses that pain as an excuse to inflict further generational pain and damage. It’s not ok. Everyone has a sob story and trauma it’s not an excuse. Seek help. Now this child is out there vulnerable to all the trauma he went through and will probably see this video one day. Yes he’s being honest but being honest doesn’t automatically make you a good person or grant redemption. He changes his tune so easily too, one minute he doesn’t care next he can see that it isn’t the child’s fault. Master manipulator. Even if someone treats you good/puts you on a pedestal/claim they love you - the fact that they can be capable of such cruelty to other people and (especially) their own flesh and blood should be a red flag, complete turn- off & deal breaker. He could easily tell every girl they’re no.1.

    • @blaccpanther8715
      @blaccpanther8715 2 роки тому +61

      When you say "everyone has a sob story"...the nigga was raped at 5 years old 🥴 excellent comment but I can't help but to think you're trivialising his particular story. Everyone has a sob story but not everyone gets raped at 5 years old. Let alone being born to crackheads etc.

    • @udoagbanari865
      @udoagbanari865 2 роки тому +8

      oshe therapist

    • @Iamdianadee
      @Iamdianadee 2 роки тому +112

      @@blaccpanther8715 everyone has a sob story doesn't mean everyone's story is the same. No one is excusing that he had a deeply troubled childhood and that he probably needs serious counselling and healing which the comment said to seek help. i think the comment was trying to just say that in life when you able to make correct decisions you can't always think to make incorrect decisions and blame it on your past for not acting accordingly. castillo has the mental capacity to know what is right and what is wrong. what will hurt people and what will not. He cant keep using his past as a defence for his actions.

    • @MrTobex21
      @MrTobex21 2 роки тому +55

      @@Iamdianadee well said👏🏾. for instance, if an individual commits a crime, he can't be pardoned for the crimes based on his bad upbringing or horrible trauma. We all still have choice to make things right.. there is no excuse for bad behaviour.

    • @blaccpanther8715
      @blaccpanther8715 2 роки тому +4

      @@Iamdianadee Yes, for sure, i think its an great comment for the most part. he has to take responsibility. I suppose i took that statement *"Everyone has a sob story and trauma it’s not an excuse"* personally because I am actually a very privileged person 🥴 I cannot imagine being an example to Castillo on how to confront your traumas and sob stories.

  • @MrMalikshabaz403
    @MrMalikshabaz403 2 роки тому +48

    Props to all the emotional intelligent women out there who can spot this kind of damaged man BEFORE getting involved with him, and more importantly before having a child with him. For those who can't see it, I hope you have the time, resources and ability to seek therapy after you realise. This type of man will have you investing your prime years on him and in return will bring emotional trauma to your soul.

    • @master-of-mind5881
      @master-of-mind5881 3 місяці тому

      Intelligent people still fall for the wrong people women or men. There is no escape from trauma or pain or suffering. Every relationship ends in misery.

  • @CG.100
    @CG.100 2 роки тому +802

    I feel sorry for the woman she deserves better, but I also feel sorry for Castillo, u can clearly see how much his childhood has fucked him up in the head. It’s sad.

    • @jayslater7017
      @jayslater7017 2 роки тому +18

      She chose him lol. Women always choose guys like this and then complain when they do not get treated well.

    • @chulababy2120
      @chulababy2120 2 роки тому +10

      Remember she’s the one that left him so yes she knew she deserved better

    • @chidimmaj.730
      @chidimmaj.730 2 роки тому +8

      @@jayslater7017 She chose him? Castillo comes off as having symptoms of antisocial personality disorder; you think he didn’t mold his outward image into what he knew she wanted him to be? It seems like she’s learning a lot new things about him now, so he (in a way) took that choice of being with him from her, I feel.

    • @mammab4437
      @mammab4437 2 роки тому

      @@jayslater7017 what a ridiculous an ignorant statement

    • @astoldbymuriel103
      @astoldbymuriel103 2 роки тому +4

      @@chidimmaj.730 He has talked about the psychiatric disorder his mother and father had. Those things can definitely be hereditary. I do believe without proper therapy eventually he will show signs of a psychiatric disorder. Especially with natural brain degeneration as we age.

  • @hxnnid
    @hxnnid 2 роки тому +141

    He seems like he really wanted her in his life but that's not how you treat someone you love bro.

    • @bentleysbugattis414
      @bentleysbugattis414 2 роки тому +14

      I get what you mean, like he really loves her forreal and not just as a lust thing but because he doesn’t know what love is and was never showed that during his childhood he doesn’t express love to her in the right way.

    • @hxnnid
      @hxnnid 2 роки тому +4

      @@bentleysbugattis414 yea that’s true it’s hard to love when you’ve not been showed love before

  • @BeBoBaBiie
    @BeBoBaBiie 2 роки тому +147

    You can see he’s living through trauma but at this point, him being open and ready to talk about it is a big big step. One thing people are not paying attention to from the comments is the fact that he’s basically being 100 and explaining himself and he keeps stopping Riette to let him make sense of what he’s saying which I believe is growth in itself because he’s trying to express it fully. It might have took him a long time and his unacceptable behaviour but he’s accepting that it is unacceptable behaviour. Although they both moved on, I still see he owed her that explanation. Although there’s no excusing his actions, or the type of person he was or may still be, he’s learning and understanding better, seeing things from a different angle and how others may feel, even if he remains emotionless. It took him up to 4 years to be in that child’s life and at least communicate, some people spend their whole life not even making that step and leave that till they’re on their death bed.
    I hope she heals from the trauma of him and he continues to heal from his very own.

    • @lovehlatsee6589
      @lovehlatsee6589 2 роки тому +7

      They won’t acknowledge that because judging him is the easier option

  • @user-cj4hs5sh2x
    @user-cj4hs5sh2x 2 роки тому +961

    Seeing Castillo in this way is very scary. It’s like the devil coming into your home and messing everything up. Seeing how he talks about all the other girls is disgusting. He needs professional help. I’ve met a person like this and literally you have to be soooo strong mentally to get rid of the toxic spirit

    • @harrybakesXD
      @harrybakesXD 2 роки тому +27

      He has a video on his channel addressing this. Neither him nor his ex gave consent for this video to come out and he’s changed his attitude towards his child now

    • @krystingrant6292
      @krystingrant6292 2 роки тому

      Frfr

    • @Story_and_Her
      @Story_and_Her 2 роки тому +52

      @@harrybakesXD You believe someone who’s shown you that they’re a pathological liar and get a kick out of manipulating people? 🤔

    • @draggoon9121
      @draggoon9121 2 роки тому

      Maybe that's why he was always open about his actions.

    • @Gchild2k6
      @Gchild2k6 2 роки тому +3

      The devil wears prada. Think.
      Castillo is the mirror and guess whose reflection is seen in the mirror.

  • @whyask8155
    @whyask8155 2 роки тому +303

    Toxic. His child is gonna grow up and see her dad talking about her like this 😔 His parents messed him up and now he has to destroy another life...? He needs to be neutered. Some people just don't deserve the blessing that is children.

    • @Lxkizzy
      @Lxkizzy 2 роки тому +10

      Thinking abit to deep into it mate😂 how can a childs life be ruined by something that was never apart of it. They would know no different

    • @BRDN1011
      @BRDN1011 2 роки тому +41

      castillo and his ex didnt wanna release this trend central released this without their consent

    • @djinhoitshary2695
      @djinhoitshary2695 2 роки тому +14

      He did say he didn’t want children ngl 😭

    • @LadyofLeisure.
      @LadyofLeisure. 2 роки тому +37

      @@Lxkizzy It is that deep, from a psychological perspective. How many fatherless people do you that don’t know their bio dad. They feel abandoned, then go with life trying to fill that void with something else.

    • @Akeem_768
      @Akeem_768 2 роки тому

      @@BRDN1011 you believe that? So th y got dressed, came & filmed a Convo with full lighting & production crew. After all of that they don't want it out??? The fake outrage is to build promo, it's another fake blue therapy thing

  • @SD-vm9po
    @SD-vm9po 2 роки тому +290

    I love how this woman is straight to the point and respect herself enough to remove herself from this broken toxic man.

    • @jaypey8253
      @jaypey8253 2 роки тому +13

      yh women leave after theyve been damaged by the toxic guys. then she bring all this baggage to the next guy. this is an L

    • @liyamurai5235
      @liyamurai5235 2 роки тому +3

      @@jaypey8253 Nah the next guy is probably going to be broken too, he started a pattern of dating broken men for her unless she gets help and talks to someone and heals then she’ll go for men that she deserves and that aren’t broken or psychopaths like Castillo

    • @jaypey8253
      @jaypey8253 2 роки тому

      @Liya Murai no way. She might date a broke good looking guy. But I don't think she's gonna struggle date a guy again unless he's a good looking Tyrone. It'd over for regular guys lol

    • @liyamurai5235
      @liyamurai5235 2 роки тому +1

      @@jaypey8253 I never said she’s going to struggle with dating a guy again. I said she’s probably going to go for another guy like Castillo if she doesn’t talk to someone and heal. Women always fall into the pattern of dating broken men after their first bad relationship with a broken man. The ones that do heal however,realise their worth and date better men or men who aren’t broken. That’s why she needs to heal first otherwise she’ll fall into a very bad pattern of recurring trauma.

    • @chelsiemilstead7329
      @chelsiemilstead7329 2 роки тому

      @@liyamurai5235 It can go one of two ways. Either she will repeatedly go back to men like this or she will never date another man like him again.

  • @libbydaramola4217
    @libbydaramola4217 2 роки тому +681

    Just watching it and Castillo defo needs some form of therapy. From having consistent links to abandoning his child. We need to stop letting our past traumas make us victims🤦🏾‍♀️.

    • @rickibobbi3345
      @rickibobbi3345 2 роки тому +6

      Right

    • @naysx12
      @naysx12 2 роки тому +4

      Very very very true

    • @dollyrevenge98
      @dollyrevenge98 2 роки тому +36

      This is true but I'm afraid it might be too late for him, it seems that he has accepted his careless living as part of who he is.The way he nonchalantly talks about his trauma and has no emotional attachment to any of it saddening.

    • @Lxkizzy
      @Lxkizzy 2 роки тому +12

      If the women did lie about being able to reproduce she should be liable to be prosecuted, practically the same thing as a women poking holes in a condom then roping you into an impossible situation if she fell pregnant to trap you or extort you for child support, not condoning dismissing a life you’ve created but a women lying about something like that when you’ve stated its not what you want should be considered a criminal act.

    • @libbydaramola4217
      @libbydaramola4217 2 роки тому +5

      @@dollyrevenge98 very true but it's never too late to go to some form of counselling because the daughter is gonna grow up and want some answers

  • @ChynaSterling-sx7ez
    @ChynaSterling-sx7ez 2 роки тому +682

    I love how she’s getting angry for the child even tho it was made behind her back

    • @EARART
      @EARART 2 роки тому +11

      No she's just trying to figure out his mind

    • @savytombazzi4415
      @savytombazzi4415 2 роки тому +79

      Irrespective of that, it’s still a child, if you don’t love you’re own flesh and blood it’s says a loooot about you. I think she was just trying to figure out how his brain works

    • @stellagyan6593
      @stellagyan6593 2 роки тому +6

      but the child is not responsible for the actions of their mother and father, therefore the child should be a priority.

    • @KingComp67_-io3iz
      @KingComp67_-io3iz 2 роки тому +1

      @@savytombazzi4415 A woman lying about something that is serious isn’t the problem got it

    • @savytombazzi4415
      @savytombazzi4415 2 роки тому +1

      @@KingComp67_-io3iz what are you talking about ?

  • @ms.sibiya
    @ms.sibiya 2 роки тому +44

    This man is scary. I’m traumatised from just hearing him speak. Celibacy all the way 🙌🏽

  • @rickibobbi3345
    @rickibobbi3345 2 роки тому +560

    This is soul crushing to this woman. She is so level headed, sounded like she was a great girlfriend but met a devil of a man. He is so emotionally damaged and has deep deeeep trauma from his own childhood, that’s why he was so able to ghost he’s own child and feels nothing towards his child. As a woman she would never want to have a child with him seeing how he treats his own child out there. Madness at the end of the day how can you sleep with 16 women or so at a time and not expect to get someone pregnant or conceive a child through this reckless behaviour. Hopefully he’s doing the inner work to heal and progress.

    • @shabdine
      @shabdine 2 роки тому +2

      Exactly

    • @caesarx8139
      @caesarx8139 2 роки тому +3

      I think the show is exaggerated. There's no way any reasonable person will come on a show like this to air out their dirty laundry..

    • @rickibobbi3345
      @rickibobbi3345 2 роки тому +15

      @@caesarx8139 I want to believe that honestly, when you watch his story times on his YT channel it’s the same scenarios and he’s spoken about his past. But I could be wrong

    • @blaccpanther8715
      @blaccpanther8715 2 роки тому

      @@caesarx8139 It doesn't really damage his brand, he can still get girls given that girls dont only fuck good wholesome men 😂

    • @souperiorh
      @souperiorh 2 роки тому +1

      @@caesarx8139 hes not chattin shit if u watched him from time and know about him from ends it all links up

  • @Anna-lb8uu
    @Anna-lb8uu 2 роки тому +618

    Castillo's lack of compassion and little to no empathy is SCARY ......I completely empathize with how his upbringing may have had an impact and detriment on his life, however his behavior is destructive and deplorable .......He has no self-worth what so ever just SAD. Castillo needs therapy in order to heal from his past, and needs to allow the inner-child in him to grieve so he can become whole.

    • @PhoenieFroe313
      @PhoenieFroe313 2 роки тому +1

      He might have ASPD.

    • @amarachiii4827
      @amarachiii4827 2 роки тому +5

      Well said

    • @Anna-lb8uu
      @Anna-lb8uu 2 роки тому +1

      @@amarachiii4827 💓💓

    • @GoldenBoyDims
      @GoldenBoyDims 2 роки тому +20

      He is beyond therapy this is how he deals with his pain I can respect cause atleast he is very transparent

    • @Mscursed2
      @Mscursed2 2 роки тому +2

      He posted a Video on his UA-cam channel saying he’s been trying to take this video down Bc he’s changed

  • @no.6377
    @no.6377 2 роки тому +270

    This is _fascinating_ . His admittance to lack of empathy and how he justifies his antisocial behavior is just really interesting to hear. I'm not well versed enough in psychology to analyze anything seriously, but this must be a good case study for something to do with narcissism or some other antisocial personality disorder.

    • @TheHowellFamilyy
      @TheHowellFamilyy 2 роки тому

      Psychopath.

    • @oyindamolasoname1208
      @oyindamolasoname1208 2 роки тому

      Alexithymia

    • @Eighteen19
      @Eighteen19 2 роки тому +9

      Childhood sexual abuse. Am a girl and I feel exactly him. Except he had a grandmother… I never had anyone… nothing to live for

    • @RecoverywithMissWilliams
      @RecoverywithMissWilliams 2 роки тому +9

      This is showing how attachment theory works with his lack of attachment and empathy to his parents struggles and inability to understand and forgive showing in his adult intimate relationships.
      He is trying to protect himself by appearing emotionless, as it probably saved him as a child with his parents but does not connect to his childhood traumas called splitting and cognitive dissonance. Definitely interesting to research

    • @elijah-kingrichards4968
      @elijah-kingrichards4968 2 роки тому

      Shut up pal

  • @AyeYoQ
    @AyeYoQ 2 роки тому +164

    Castillo is cold blooded man! I ain’t never heard no man talk like this ever…

    • @steven.1983
      @steven.1983 2 роки тому +6

      I used to like castilo ove change my perspective of him not gona bother with him no more

    • @AyeYoQ
      @AyeYoQ 2 роки тому +7

      True his mindset is dangerous

    • @MELINDADHERBERT
      @MELINDADHERBERT 2 роки тому +6

      I have, my ex-husband, took me awhile to understand/comprehend the dynamic. I truly understand why Castillo is so cold-blooded.

    • @KingComp67_-io3iz
      @KingComp67_-io3iz 2 роки тому +6

      Lot of men don’t talk their mind because a man can get fired from his job, falsely accused of a false crime, and get Called harsh names to ruin his reputation. Women like to shame men for speaking their mind, men will speak their mind with the guy friends/men so… Thank the women for telling men to shut up etc when they speak their mind. Women created the same problems you complaining about

    • @ItsLotto
      @ItsLotto 2 роки тому +4

      When it comes to his relationship Pyramid, a lot of men think like this. Many just cant do it, lack of game, time, etc…

  • @drewdalzielx
    @drewdalzielx 2 роки тому +140

    When he said he's not acting out of love of sentiment with his child, his conscience caught up with him. The thing about suppressed trauma is your words can say a million different things but your behaviour will always tell the truth.

  • @user-xv8uu9vm7v
    @user-xv8uu9vm7v 5 місяців тому +7

    This interview is actually so raw … Castillo is clearly traumatised and I fully respect his honesty

  • @anaahitsandhu9247
    @anaahitsandhu9247 2 роки тому +231

    I really hope his child never grows up to see this. Heartbreaking that he has no emotions towards that child. I hope he heals and builds a real relationship with the child.

    • @Mexi.r.n
      @Mexi.r.n 2 роки тому +17

      He said his obligated to be there for his child. A part of him cares. His main frustration is at the child's mom.

    • @MICHAELATESHAWN
      @MICHAELATESHAWN 2 роки тому +11

      @@Mexi.r.n who cares, he got himself to where he is. I hope that child never sees this, he’s sick

    • @jgadget8481
      @jgadget8481 2 роки тому +2

      @@MICHAELATESHAWN watch the video on his channel to understand it’s so sad

    • @AyeYoQ
      @AyeYoQ 2 роки тому +1

      It’s on the internet they will see it believe me

    • @Gchild2k6
      @Gchild2k6 2 роки тому +1

      Why are we assuming this child is better off with the M?
      Not the maturity of children who are in care, prisons, and all manner of dsyfunction include castillo came from whom? SINGLE MOTHERS

  • @saphiaayesha
    @saphiaayesha 2 роки тому +455

    He was abandoned by his own parents so he doesn’t know a parents love to give it to his own… it sounds savage to who hasn’t been grown this way. Childhood trauma is a real thing 🥴🙏🏼

    • @cyolandaj
      @cyolandaj 2 роки тому +4

      👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

    • @hafsahm4486
      @hafsahm4486 2 роки тому +21

      where does the cycle end then? It’s not enough of an excuse. His poor child never asked to be here, I pray they never come across this video. I was abandoned myself, it doesn’t make you a terrible person, we need to hold each other accountable.

    • @Youngesey
      @Youngesey 2 роки тому +20

      @@hafsahm4486 exactly, I'm going to use an example...two twin boys were raised by an alcoholic father. One grew up to be an alcoholic homeless and when asked what happened he said "I watched my father" The other grew up and became successful and never drank in his life. When he was asked what happened he said "I watched my father" Two boys, same dad, two different perspective. Your perspective in life will determine your destination 🤞🏾❇

    • @Gufaaco
      @Gufaaco 2 роки тому

      You smarrrt

    • @daniellehughes2922
      @daniellehughes2922 2 роки тому +5

      Tracy Beaker was never like this 🤣🤣

  • @sunpi
    @sunpi 2 роки тому +17

    The fact he’s saying he doesn’t care so much screams to me he cares. ALOT.

    • @Nurtured_by_nature
      @Nurtured_by_nature 2 роки тому +4

      He’s confused…. He doesn’t want to create another statistic but at the same time he doesn’t care 🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @papayadepp9509
      @papayadepp9509 2 роки тому

      true

  • @oyinlayefaawusa7045
    @oyinlayefaawusa7045 2 роки тому +163

    I hope the girl he got pregnant never tells her child who the father is😩

    • @shabdine
      @shabdine 2 роки тому +6

      Amen 🙏🏾

    • @moneycomesfirst8681
      @moneycomesfirst8681 2 роки тому +4

      Nah she has at least a picture but meeting him is up to the child when their an adult

    • @Gchild2k6
      @Gchild2k6 2 роки тому

      Said like the vindictive females that create future bad people.
      Hiding the father does not help the child. They will grow up wondering where is there other half and that longing will drive them to pick a man or women just like castillo in future.
      Castillo is a victim and suffering from childhood trauma. Funny how if it was a woman, you would all be oh poor women but when its a man, he is evil. Jog on.

    • @rasheemthebestfirstone3274
      @rasheemthebestfirstone3274 2 роки тому

      So he got two kids?

    • @jayslater7017
      @jayslater7017 2 роки тому +14

      The mother shouldn’t have chosen men like him to begin with 😂 she’s at fault too.

  • @cillano1r
    @cillano1r 2 роки тому +134

    Makes sense why he didn’t want this to come out - I feel sorry for the child, should they see this in the future. I can’t imagine how I’d feel, if I saw my dad saying he reached out to me due to obligation and feels no love or sentiment towards me 😔

    • @jasongreen7860
      @jasongreen7860 Рік тому

      He's damaged and at least he felt an obligation its a start. He knows he isn't a prince charming I don't think he made excuses once he just explained why he so fkd up which he is for sure

  • @04divadoll
    @04divadoll 2 роки тому +25

    She handled herself so well. 🙏🏾

  • @TheAlkebulanTrust
    @TheAlkebulanTrust 2 роки тому +130

    In all honesty this is a reminder that before you get into a relationship get counselling

    • @naysx12
      @naysx12 2 роки тому +2

      Yes!!!!!!!!

    • @MOMO-436
      @MOMO-436 2 роки тому +8

      I don’t believe every single person needs counselling, but obviously if you have issues get it before going into a relationship

    • @mgtowmonkapprenticegang8426
      @mgtowmonkapprenticegang8426 2 роки тому +4

      Truss. Normalise therapy

    • @TheAlkebulanTrust
      @TheAlkebulanTrust 2 роки тому

      @@MOMO-436 every single human has issues some are obvious and some aren't

    • @MOMO-436
      @MOMO-436 2 роки тому +1

      @@TheAlkebulanTrust Nope. You’re basically saying every single human needs therapy, which just isn’t true. Some people have issues, some people don’t, and can live happy fulfilled lives without therapy or the need for it, that’s just the way things are. You don’t know every single person.

  • @RAGEHXARAGO
    @RAGEHXARAGO 2 роки тому +74

    The truth is, he’s a hurt hurt hurt man, I don’t believe for a moment he “doesn’t care” he’s just been neglected as a child and is scared to commit. He doesn’t trust nobody, and I bet he’s even more hurt he’s been a bad dad. Castillo bro, be there for that child or she’ll be broken and hurt just like you. Be the change you wished your parents would of made. Don’t be selfish and step up, also be careful what you say to that child you bought her into this world, give her a father she deserves brother.

  • @so7989
    @so7989 2 роки тому +14

    Her silence and look of disgust on her face speaks volumes. Castillo is very deeply traumatised and I empathise for his painful history but the lack of self reflection as a grown adult shows that there’s a lot more work for him to do. I just hope no other women are seriously impacted by his reckless actions. I can only imagine how his child will feel if they watch this in the future.

    • @jasonu3741
      @jasonu3741 9 місяців тому

      he is a sociopath, this is not a "bad things happened to me and this is how i dealt with it" instead its "bad things happened to a young boy who is/was a sociopath"

  • @Lavelle222
    @Lavelle222 2 роки тому +131

    “Just because you love them doesn’t mean they feel loved” that’s what I see here tbh. He probably did love her but not in the way she needed to be loved.

    • @DeborahKasengelaM
      @DeborahKasengelaM 2 роки тому +47

      No one needs love like Castillo’s love

    • @chinchilla9479
      @chinchilla9479 2 роки тому +5

      wait…so you love someone to the point you cheat with different people at the same time?

    • @dendenn7383
      @dendenn7383 2 роки тому +9

      He didn't love her for shit lol. 16 tings at the same time? Do me a favour

  • @samueltaylor2757
    @samueltaylor2757 2 роки тому +95

    I feel for Castillo as it must be difficult not being able to feel the emotions everyone says that you should be feeling. He comes across as a bit of a sociopath from watching him open up. Hopefully this is the start of him learning to work around the effects of his trauma so he can treat those around him better.

  • @flabbytobaddie
    @flabbytobaddie 2 роки тому +21

    I really feel sorry for his ex gf, i pray she finds a decent man, because she deserves it. As for Castillo, I hope he learns that you cannot use your trauma as an excuse to inflict pain on others.

  • @TsahaiLayne
    @TsahaiLayne 2 роки тому +212

    Generational trauma is no joke, whew.

    • @shabdine
      @shabdine 2 роки тому +9

      Exactly this is big curse

    • @misspeacock-2506
      @misspeacock-2506 Рік тому

      ​@shabdine7039 it's not a curse...its TRAUMA..let's start by naming thongs correctly otherwise some pastor going to take all your money whilst u look to them for prayer....

  • @Sparklebuttons2012
    @Sparklebuttons2012 2 роки тому +183

    So we just gunna brush under the carpet this man was molested at 5?? He has so much to heal from gotta pray for people like this

    • @sandrawthebs9091
      @sandrawthebs9091 2 роки тому +3

      Litro such a red flag 🚩

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 2 роки тому

      @@sandrawthebs9091 he’s a walking red flag. Doesn’t matter, if you have a big D, know how to talk a big game etc a lot of women will ignore the red flags

    • @kuranbassi2071
      @kuranbassi2071 2 роки тому +1

      It wasn’t him being molested it was something else I don’t remember it all but it was just a little dodgy moment with an older girl that shouldn’t have happened

    • @antoinel53
      @antoinel53 2 роки тому

      @@kuranbassi2071 14 year old girl in Dominica would come to his yard and “rub up against him”

    • @waldenmcnair3088
      @waldenmcnair3088 Рік тому

      @@kuranbassi2071 its sexual abuse STUPID

  • @ririldn7614
    @ririldn7614 2 роки тому +17

    I feel sorry for his child because what he's saying is heart breaking for them to hear and they might see this one day...regretful!

  • @toyin3065
    @toyin3065 2 роки тому +92

    As someone who’s been abandoned at birth, the thought that this could be how my bilological parents may speak about me knowing I’m alive and well would be heartbreaking. God forbid

    • @rb757
      @rb757 2 роки тому +5

      So sorry for you this is horrible man

  • @ayizhathebrat1531
    @ayizhathebrat1531 2 роки тому +389

    10mins in this and I can’t lie, he can’t keep using the issue of his childhood to then treat people like that. I’m glad his ex is strong enough to hear this shit. He’s abounding his child because he hasn’t healed and he still has problems. Damaged people making damaged people, it’s sad. His ex is right, he should of been more careful.

    • @SamOSosa100
      @SamOSosa100 2 роки тому

      Ur actually so dumb like what are u talking about yes he is damaged and he’s not even apologising for what he’s done because he knows his childhood trauma isn’t a good reason for treating people bad he just wants her to understand what happened and why certain stuff happened Yh she’s a good and strong woman but just because she’s a female don’t mean u need to jump on her side fucking hell🤦🏾‍♂️

    • @loopybrogaming1149
      @loopybrogaming1149 2 роки тому +11

      hes not abandoning his child, check his latest video on his channel

    • @Ht-wt4mv
      @Ht-wt4mv 2 роки тому +11

      It’s not an excuse its just a fact that his childhood trauma has impacted him throughout his life.

    • @gilberttakyi3265
      @gilberttakyi3265 2 роки тому

      It’s that simple

    • @JamalBaroot_
      @JamalBaroot_ 2 роки тому +1

      Excuse? You don’t understand childhood trauma

  • @W.I.F.E
    @W.I.F.E 2 роки тому +3

    They both are heroic in sitting down to have this conversation one and second in front of a camera for others to see and my hope is for those who see to learn from it. The reality is both of them played a role in the destruction that transpired. Yes ol boy is wrong for lying. Yes ol girl is wrong for ignoring what she obviously felt was there if she had to leave him. The most beautiful part of this ugly truth is that WE ALL get a chance to see the turmoil that we as individuals bring into relationships when we don’t take the time, don’t acknowledge, and sometimes don’t even know we need to deal with and heal through before any building of romantic relationships. Great content 👌🏽

  • @Akeem_768
    @Akeem_768 2 роки тому +94

    Dude diss his own child on a fake show for clout. This generation is GONE!!!!!

  • @tahquila
    @tahquila 2 роки тому +51

    referring to his child as 'the yout' uno 😭😭😭

  • @ThadieusFerris
    @ThadieusFerris 3 місяці тому +1

    I rate his ex, she had all the right questions prompted him to answer the real questions and maintained a calm demeanor throughout the mental gymnastics....

  • @tee4241
    @tee4241 2 роки тому +992

    This girl is a WARRIOR, the slaps I would be having to hold back throughout this conversation is nuts

    • @GoldenBoyDims
      @GoldenBoyDims 2 роки тому +77

      nah this is crazy you would slap a man and not expect to get hit back? people should keep their hands to themselves unless they are ready for a physical altercation

    • @tee4241
      @tee4241 2 роки тому +43

      @@GoldenBoyDims I never said I would expect to get hit back? And you took my comment too literal I was just talking about how vexed I would be in comparison to how she was.

    • @tee4241
      @tee4241 2 роки тому +35

      @@GoldenBoyDims if a women hits a man first he has every right to smack her right back 💯

    • @GoldenBoyDims
      @GoldenBoyDims 2 роки тому +10

      @@tee4241 im saying its easy to talk of violence when you don't know the reprecussions you shouldn't take it so lightly and I took it literal cause I didn't interpret your statement as a joke

    • @nayatarot777
      @nayatarot777 2 роки тому +11

      @@GoldenBoyDims I agree with them, I’d do the exact same. Ik the repercussions and what a man hitting me feels like (considering I’ve physically fought my abusive dad multiple times), and many other women do, but the point still stands. They never said that they wouldn’t expect to get hit back. If I want to hit a man for doing what Castillo has done to this woman, then I just might. And I’d prepare to be hit back but still get angry, because who is anyone like Castillo to hit back anyone that they’ve fucked over? If a man was to be told all of this cheating bs from their ex girlfriend and he wanted to hit her, nobody could blame him. Whether he would want to face the repercussions of that is his decision. But it’s not a mad thing to want to do when you’re being told disgusting shit that was happening behind your back for years.

  • @TheAlkebulanTrust
    @TheAlkebulanTrust 2 роки тому +112

    Glad we didn't have to wait too long for episode 2, part 2.

  • @ShayH4
    @ShayH4 Рік тому +3

    As someone outside looking in I can see both sides and there’s just so much pain. I pray he’s in therapy and he continues to work on himself. I am glad that he came around to being in his child’s life. I also pray that she heals from this experience.

  • @yvettetam6871
    @yvettetam6871 2 роки тому +33

    Joseph justifying his lack of ‘sentiment’ for his parents and his child, is indicative of the fact that he feels something. He is operating from a place of fear. I send you healing Joseph.

  • @nottodaybuddy4130
    @nottodaybuddy4130 2 роки тому +267

    If I was the baby mum I wouldn’t even want him to be in my child’s life after the things he’s said about her. He’s disgusting🤬🤬

    • @skondingo8322
      @skondingo8322 2 роки тому +22

      Disgusting or not it takes a lot to be this honest

    • @nottodaybuddy4130
      @nottodaybuddy4130 2 роки тому +36

      @@skondingo8322 be as honest as you want but speak about my kids like that and you’re done

    • @lordnass381
      @lordnass381 2 роки тому +14

      @@nottodaybuddy4130 ooooooo scary

    • @africasfinest52
      @africasfinest52 2 роки тому +36

      So is she for lying to the man, telling him she couldn't get pregnant. If a man has said he's not interested in having kids and you go ahead with it, don't be mad

    • @skondingo8322
      @skondingo8322 2 роки тому +6

      @@nottodaybuddy4130 only speaks more volumes about you than anyone else. Truth may hurt but it’s his truth. I feel more sorry that child, if he/she watches this in years to come their going to be very heartbroken 💔

  • @missdeedee5155
    @missdeedee5155 2 роки тому +4

    There’s a sad hurt boy who wants to be heard in this grown man’s body. He wants to come across like a sociopath but he’s in desperate need of validation from the way he mistreats women.
    He doesn’t show any remorse and it’s clear he’s attempting to hurt this woman’s feelings. The less she breaks down, the more he brings up something to see her hurting. It’s clear as water he came to make her feel inferior in order to stroke his ego.
    Truly sad.
    I command this beautiful woman for being gracious and grounded. Sending her love, peace, bliss, healing and I pray she finds a deserving suitor.

  • @akingbadeteni4243
    @akingbadeteni4243 2 роки тому +120

    Her facial expression shows that she is embarrassed by the fact that she dated such a man

  • @shira1623
    @shira1623 2 роки тому +355

    The amount of soul ties this man probably has is despicable

    • @crazy4chingyjg
      @crazy4chingyjg 2 роки тому +88

      And the problem is, none of the soul ties he's carrying around affects him, instead he transfers them all into each woman he sleeps with 🤕

    • @rickibobbi3345
      @rickibobbi3345 2 роки тому +5

      @@crazy4chingyjg and the cycle continues.. it’s so sad

    • @GoldenBoyDims
      @GoldenBoyDims 2 роки тому +56

      Do soul ties apply if the man wears condom? Or does his soul get tied to the rubber instead

    • @Notarealperson123
      @Notarealperson123 2 роки тому +16

      @@GoldenBoyDims 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @CC-mms
      @CC-mms 2 роки тому

      @@GoldenBoyDims all jokes aside I've always said it doesn't apply, if the juice doesn't enter you!! 😂
      However, he slept with a girl he hadn't seen in 6 months without a condom, so it's pretty obvious he did not use condoms with most, if not all 16+ of the extras!!

  • @III_Ed_B_III
    @III_Ed_B_III 2 роки тому +9

    Imagine being the mother of the child and watching this, being spoken about like this, or even the child themselves watching it in ten years if this video is still online.

  • @BubbleGum-xe1zq
    @BubbleGum-xe1zq 2 роки тому +129

    He doesn’t love this girl. He just misses the stability her presence provides. That’s why he’s having verbal diarrhea here…it makes him feel better…totally about him & his needs. His constant mentions of his traumatic past is just typical arm chair psychology.
    We as a people need to seriously reassess the way we raise children.

    • @fuckeries
      @fuckeries 2 роки тому +1

      He doesn’t have the capacity in this moment. His standards are too low.

    • @jad7932
      @jad7932 2 роки тому +2

      Yeah spot on. It’s frustrating to watch

    • @jad7932
      @jad7932 2 роки тому +3

      He didn’t even apologise to her in any way. What a waste of her time

  • @ahmede3303
    @ahmede3303 2 роки тому +90

    How is it physically possible to have 16 relationships simultaneously? There’s 7 days in a week, I’m confused.

    • @LadyofLeisure.
      @LadyofLeisure. 2 роки тому +48

      We all have the same 24 hours. Ask Molly Mae 😅

    • @rasheemthebestfirstone3274
      @rasheemthebestfirstone3274 2 роки тому +5

      @888 no man I can’t believe must be a exaggeration bruh do you know how exhausting it is talking to multiple girls😂

    • @jayslater7017
      @jayslater7017 2 роки тому +4

      @@rasheemthebestfirstone3274 The guy is a pathological liar. If you look at other interviews he has done, the statements are inconsistent. You have to take everything he says with a grain of salt.

    • @quietecstasy8054
      @quietecstasy8054 2 роки тому +4

      I think he most prob pulled the number out his ass but still I'm feeling a little lazy with my time ngl 🤣😂🤣😭

  • @ladonnahope8960
    @ladonnahope8960 2 роки тому +4

    This was difficult yet intriguing to watch. The beauty and strength the young lady had is amazing. The closure, I feel was needed for her healing..she already had fell out of love with him 3 months prior to leaving him for the final time. By him coming clean it is validation to her that she did nothing wrong and she deserves better. For him to be honest with himself about his traumas and its effects, is the first step for him to begin healing so he can stop hurting. Hurting people hurt others.

  • @lady_bex
    @lady_bex 2 роки тому +97

    I get that he had a rough upbringing. I sympathise for that part. However as a grown ass man, it’s time he takes accountability for the way he treats others and perhaps dive into some therapy. You can’t be acting like this the rest of your life and blaming your upbringing. At some point you have to learn to make better life choices.

    • @Trose.6
      @Trose.6 2 роки тому +10

      I feel like everyone isn’t listening either. He’s definitely trying to turn it around a be a better person. He’s coming to give an explanation he never could before, he’s beginning to build a relationship with his child. If he never had love for his biological parents, it’ll definitely be hard to have that love for his child. That’s just basic psychology but he’s trying now and has acknowledged that that’s his responsibility and he needs to take it on like a man.

    • @DD-jr3mq
      @DD-jr3mq 2 роки тому

      @@Trose.6 he's not trying to be a better person, he didn't even apologise to her for hurting her. You can't grow unless you admit you're wrong

    • @iluvcakes19
      @iluvcakes19 2 роки тому +3

      @@Trose.6 people are so outraged that they miss the other part of his message.

    • @Trose.6
      @Trose.6 2 роки тому

      @@DD-jr3mq I’m sure he said he apologised off camera previously ??

    • @Trose.6
      @Trose.6 2 роки тому

      @@iluvcakes19 I understand their outrage but people honestly just listen to respond clearly

  • @dollyrevenge98
    @dollyrevenge98 2 роки тому +220

    This girl has to have some trauma of her own to stay with this man for 4 years despite the red flags. I wish healing for both of them.

    • @shyannJ30
      @shyannJ30 2 роки тому +16

      🎯🎯🎯🎯

    • @mickal3311
      @mickal3311 2 роки тому +24

      Judging from her reaction I think she's just finding out who he really is.

    • @DrSeussTruth
      @DrSeussTruth 2 роки тому +8

      Yeah don’t put it on her, she’s calm compared to this guy.

    • @dollyrevenge98
      @dollyrevenge98 2 роки тому

      @@mickal3311 Sorry but I don't believe that. There's no way you're with someone for 4 years and not spot any red flags.

    • @dollyrevenge98
      @dollyrevenge98 2 роки тому

      @@DrSeussTruth The thing is we don't really learn anything about her from this so who knows.

  • @chrisgravity7997
    @chrisgravity7997 2 роки тому +3

    Girls yall better run fast and never look back

  • @naysx12
    @naysx12 2 роки тому +74

    Dear God
    I pray every woman reading this comment who is single, to marry a healed and intelligent man who fears you.. and does right by his woman in Jesus name. I rebuke any man who is here to waste our time and take away your peaceful spirit away from us.. By fire and force our men will be GREAT husbands and fathers and may we will also be great! Show us what needs healing so we do not create a broken generation of women.
    Amen

    • @TsahaiLayne
      @TsahaiLayne 2 роки тому +4

      Amen.

    • @steffenglande5582
      @steffenglande5582 2 роки тому +1

      Why not pray for men too? So there is no relationships where its the other way around?

    • @nonameneeded2943
      @nonameneeded2943 2 роки тому

      @@steffenglande5582 that's like telling a person whos praying for cancer victims "hey why not pray for people who get into car crashes, do they not need help to"
      Dumb comment

    • @naysx12
      @naysx12 2 роки тому +7

      @@steffenglande5582 this one’s for the ladies for now. Why don’t you post one for the men ?

    • @tamarajoyce8387
      @tamarajoyce8387 2 роки тому +1

      Amen

  • @Baddyusi
    @Baddyusi 2 роки тому +59

    all i see a broken man from broken traumatic background who has blocked all the emotional attachment because of what they went through and instead pf acknowledging that and seeing a therapist he is proud of it, esp not him having any love for his child that alone should make you freak out and seek therapy.
    props to his ex she carries herself with grace.

    • @Baddyusi
      @Baddyusi 2 роки тому

      his first sexual experience was when he was 5? omgggg he was molested my god. yooo he needs to seek mental and trauma help cause he doesn't know but just walking sympomts of what could come and hunt him later in his life.

    • @checharles5224
      @checharles5224 2 роки тому

      And yet he had a rotation of 16 girls and a main chick. Bad boys having been winning a lot lately. It’s a lesson on the consequences of being a nice guy

    • @Baddyusi
      @Baddyusi 2 роки тому

      @@checharles5224 i am not buying that, I think he is adding some sauce to it.

    • @checharles5224
      @checharles5224 2 роки тому

      @@Baddyusi I am. Im pretty sure if you put him next to the clean cut nice guy version of himself he’d get not chicks

    • @t.r8918
      @t.r8918 2 роки тому

      I agree with most of what you said, but i dont think he is proud of it, shameless yes, but proud no.

  • @carlenewright9376
    @carlenewright9376 3 місяці тому +1

    I respect him for being able to truly express his feelings, the young lady just happened to get damaged through his trauma.

  • @1708Purple
    @1708Purple 2 роки тому +39

    Honestly this women is an amazing lady her composure through this is something all black women can learn from and then how she advocated for a child I fully respect it and rate her highly, she made this situation about his behaviour more then her feelings WOW I hope she is blessing with the unconditional love she deserves

    • @1708Purple
      @1708Purple 2 роки тому +5

      @@dylandylantoriyama5370 and visual representations like this helps. Both black men and women have a fair share of trauma that affects both them and those around them when they are broken. Not so often we get to see the process nor are people on a wider perspective ready to be be transparent like this. I am rooting for all parties involved 🙏🏾

    • @dylandylantoriyama5370
      @dylandylantoriyama5370 2 роки тому +4

      @@1708Purple I can respect your comment fam. Bless up

    • @c45177
      @c45177 2 роки тому +2

      SOME

    • @c45177
      @c45177 2 роки тому +3

      @@dylandylantoriyama5370 no you just hate them, there are many normal black women out there, like we have seen here, the hatred is getting scary

    • @c45177
      @c45177 2 роки тому +2

      @@dylandylantoriyama5370 a black man scts up and you find a way to put it on black women, let the stereotypes go, free yourself from the shackles. We are people all with different personalities

  • @Zoe600smile
    @Zoe600smile 2 роки тому +157

    He's just "me me me" and everyone else is collateral. His logic baffles me, he expects her not to cheat, but it's ok if he does, he expects his links to be honest but he's lying to all of them, he says he didn't have a relationship with his biological parents and then he does the same thing to his own child.

    • @chloed8331
      @chloed8331 2 роки тому +5

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @celinecee9299
      @celinecee9299 2 роки тому +2

      I swearrrrr, she lied to me about not being able to get preg SO the child is here now! Step up

    • @pastordonkoh7692
      @pastordonkoh7692 2 роки тому +3

      men and women cheating are not the same thing in the same way a person calling a w person the c word is not the same as a w person calling a b person the n wors

    • @AliBabaNoorm
      @AliBabaNoorm 2 роки тому +1

      THIS

    • @arabninja209
      @arabninja209 2 роки тому

      Seems like he’s been through trauma that’s affecting him but I dunno

  • @Journeywithmscohen
    @Journeywithmscohen 11 місяців тому +2

    No matter what, he will always view the child as an "lie" or "obligation" and never "love." He's not the only one to blame for this. The female who lied is just as much to blame.

  • @shansworld2364
    @shansworld2364 2 роки тому +80

    This was a hard watch but such an eye opener on how ur childhood trauma lack of love from your parent/s can carry on to ur adult life how u interact with others. In saying that good on him being vulnerable and speaking his harsh truth 👏🏾 also loads of respect to this woman listening and keeping it together and defending the child corner. 👏🏾

  • @kojoonthepod
    @kojoonthepod 2 роки тому +42

    Castillo needs all the help and therapy this world can offer. He is going through so much that you can even tell from his face and his experiences. It wasn’t a healthy relationship at all. no matter what the lady does, even though she stayed while he had consistent link; he wasn’t really ready to be a responsible person. prayers to both parties involved 🙏🏿

  • @saneman7177
    @saneman7177 2 роки тому +2

    “Tell me you’re a sociopath without telling me you’re a sociopath”

  • @amberb8942
    @amberb8942 2 роки тому +85

    Because of his childhood trauma he is emotionally detached and lacks a aerious amount of empathy. It's not an excuse but at least he is kind of aware. I hope gets the therapy he needs so he can be a good father

    • @checharles5224
      @checharles5224 2 роки тому +2

      That also makes him the bad body women desire. He had a rotation of 16 girls and a main chick while there’s plenty of guys with the nice guys vibe that ain’t getting any. This is an education and a lesson to all nice guys.

  • @natelegancecarnival
    @natelegancecarnival 2 роки тому +89

    He said he had his first sexual experience at 5 years old 🧐🧐That person abused him and that's why we are seeing things play out this way.

  • @gbenga1338
    @gbenga1338 9 місяців тому +5

    Like him or not, what Castillo is doing here is taking responsibility and owning up to his mess. Women who don't understand accountability can only judge and look down on him.

  • @sit4149
    @sit4149 2 роки тому +85

    The fact that he is saying "why would someone lie to me" the woman he impregnated, is just 🙊🙊 When pple meet their match is an utter disaster.
    This is toxic and pride in the mix

  • @4z.Dollar
    @4z.Dollar 2 роки тому +49

    Bun the cheating and all of that Castillo needs to step up and take care of that kid he made the decision to buss in the the girl man up and take care of that kid! He keeps using his fucked up childhood to justify his actions

    • @Story_and_Her
      @Story_and_Her 2 роки тому +12

      If he’s incapable of love then the child is better off without him.

    • @4z.Dollar
      @4z.Dollar 2 роки тому

      @@JYGtube did you watch what i watched his whole excuse for cheating doing all this fucked up shit is because of his childhood

    • @a1up839
      @a1up839 2 роки тому

      @@JYGtube Moretime he is playing victim to his childhood nuff man had hard times but u can’t keep bitching about it or u ain’t gonna progress which is what he is doing at his big age.

    • @mgtowmonkapprenticegang8426
      @mgtowmonkapprenticegang8426 2 роки тому

      He does take care of the kid he's just not emotionally attached to it. Just sees his kid as a liability and a obligation

  • @Darryldesiderium
    @Darryldesiderium 4 місяці тому +4

    This is why men never open up to women coz theyll.never understand a mans perspective n his demons n his pain..When a man realises his mistakes n owns up to them..that growth but women will still judge him n call him all sorts of names..U can see the way she looks at him with disgust n not trying to underatand his perspective

  • @complexity2725
    @complexity2725 2 роки тому +108

    Trauma is real guys. Nothing about this shxt is funny. This man has some deep psychological issues that need mending & it stems from childhood.

    • @naysx12
      @naysx12 2 роки тому +1

      Definitely

    • @only1507
      @only1507 2 роки тому +1

      Absolutely agree

  • @namprincewill7420
    @namprincewill7420 Рік тому +1

    When she cusses him and he ignores and keeps talking🤣😂

  • @RandomVideosFirst
    @RandomVideosFirst 2 роки тому +67

    Man described her line a pyramid scheme loool

  • @Jeremyoforimusic
    @Jeremyoforimusic 2 роки тому +259

    I can understand now why Castillo said he didn’t want this to come out sigh

    • @s.t3315
      @s.t3315 2 роки тому +7

      Exactly

    • @get_fit_with_steffy1961
      @get_fit_with_steffy1961 2 роки тому +30

      Defo man. Ive known him for years but this is not a good look man. I hope it gets taken down coz a child is involved

    • @LeoniChevonne
      @LeoniChevonne 2 роки тому +7

      He didn't want it to come out yet he sat there and recorded it. Make it make sense

    • @Jeremyoforimusic
      @Jeremyoforimusic 2 роки тому

      @@LeoniChevonne I get you but she also agreed for it not to come out. She chose to respect that and they both moved on from the situation after. They didn’t have his permission so it’s not right. If u were in his position u would understand

  • @realerthanmost8356
    @realerthanmost8356 2 роки тому +7

    It’s interesting how much conviction he says that he’s only wanting to have a relationship with his child out of “obligation” and that there are no “sentimental feelings”… He feels so strongly that he threw a picture of his child in the bin…
    It makes sense to him that if he doesn’t love or care for his parents it’s only logical that he shouldn’t care for his own child. It seems as though he is almost telling himself (convincing himself) that he doesn’t have the capability to love his child because he doesn’t love his parents.
    He reached out for a reason… he probably genuinely wants to know his child but he is so stuck in his thought process and his ways because it helps him emotionally detach from situations that requires emotional investment.
    Constantly reminding himself that he is only reaching out to his child out of obligation is a way to remind himself not to grow any emotional attachment to his child. He wants to and is too used to pushing people away and not creating real authentic bonds.

  • @sammayomi5547
    @sammayomi5547 2 роки тому +53

    Minus this woman and his grandma, I don’t think Castillo ever experienced love, this is baffling. He has no remorse you can tell he honestly doesn’t care like what so ever

    • @kayahchibuye1947
      @kayahchibuye1947 2 роки тому +1

      Exactly. He is actually speaking the truth it's scary. She's finding it hard to accept the truth because he is saying some mad tings

    • @letrice2892
      @letrice2892 2 роки тому +1

      he didn't love this woman either the only thing that separated her from the others was she was able to get a lil closer to him than others .he completely shut down all feelings for any one and it's due to his childhood he's been molested and abandoned those are scars that aren't so easily healed he definitely need to seek therapy

    • @sammayomi5547
      @sammayomi5547 2 роки тому

      @@letrice2892 in his own warped way he did love her, but his idea of love is weird

    • @kayahchibuye1947
      @kayahchibuye1947 2 роки тому

      @@sammayomi5547 definitely skewed! Kinda feel sad for him in a way

  • @Story_and_Her
    @Story_and_Her 2 роки тому +178

    A pathological liar who can’t believe anyone would lie to him? 😂 If this is acted or a character construction to sell music it’s very well done - there’s waaaay too many Castillo’s out there. Stay clear.

    • @dendenn7383
      @dendenn7383 2 роки тому +2

      This 👌🏿

    • @LadyofLeisure.
      @LadyofLeisure. 2 роки тому +2

      💯💯💯💯

    • @checharles5224
      @checharles5224 2 роки тому +4

      Women like the toxic guys though. There’s a reason why he has a 16 girl rotation and a main chick.

    • @draggoon9121
      @draggoon9121 2 роки тому +1

      If you dont know your a liar, how you know you a liar....

    • @rasheemthebestfirstone3274
      @rasheemthebestfirstone3274 2 роки тому +1

      @@checharles5224 and your proof is that he tells you

  • @selhurt
    @selhurt 2 роки тому +1

    Childhood trauma is so harmful. But can recover, God is the best of healers ❤️❤️🙏🙏❤️❤️

  • @kyni87
    @kyni87 2 роки тому +70

    Castillo as much as I love you, you need to seek help, for yourself, for your child, for everyone. This is giving Anti-social personality disorder, it's probably due to your upbringing but still, you can have it checked.

    • @a1up839
      @a1up839 2 роки тому +4

      Bpd not aspd

    • @Soneelicious
      @Soneelicious 2 роки тому

      @@a1up839 as someone who has BPD And a fellow cluster B personality I would say he seems more ASPD 100% or Narcissistic.

    • @TheRedstar212
      @TheRedstar212 2 роки тому +1

      He's come along way already. You can't fix these things over night. It takes years, decades and sometimes even a whole lifetime depending on the person and circumstances