BaseStrengthAI is more reliable than a coach, cheaper than an Excel template!👇👇👇 www.BaseStrength.com/the-app Bromley Merch from Barbell Apparel only available HERE! 👇👇👇 barbellapparel.com/Bromley
I gave you a like just because you said you are the “fattest influencer.” it’s gold medal work friend. Also - do you have kids in PPS too? Or just picking on us because it’s easy?
there's only one fix a better economy imho everything flows from there (more stabillity, less metal problems, more marriages surviving , lesser singel parents etc etc) all ppl are doing now is surviving
17:00 Many people dismiss the fact how media shape a lot perception of reality and the image of what is a potential male or female partner. Asian male representation often as a bad guy or ridicule comic relief hasn't helped and when an asian speaks about it, they are not taken seriously and told to go back to their country if they don't like how things are here while asian females are hypersexualized. I want to mention about such topic to show how influencial media really is. During the era about before the chinese exclusion act, the first hollywood hearttrobe male was Sessue Hayakawa, a handsome japanese man that women were head over heels for his good looks despite hollywood always portraying him as a villain and earned him the title as "the cheat" and back home, japanese people hated him for playing those roles which portray the image of japanese male as villains. Sessue thought he was doing a good job but then he went into depression phase due to that. They portrayed him as villain and sexual predator that women have to be warry of. But Hollywood's plan of portraying asian male in such way failed due to Sessue's good looks that made him gain title of Hollywood's first hearttrobe. After that comes the chinese exclusion act. In many they portrayed asian male being tiny violent aggressors towards white women (you can search on google image) well the people who make such content learns from mistakes. Hollywood then only portray nit as good looking asian male actors as comedic relief. Personally I don't have issue as an asian guy living in Canada and had many girls asking me to go on date. But I'm fascinated about this topic due to 2 things, first is a white guy who used to be my friend told me he thinks that asian males are: sub-humans who are ugly, tiny genital, weak, incompetent(non reliable just how they portray in movies) while he says everyone desires asian female and asian females are meant to be with white guy's and wants white male'a genital 💀 basically he views asian female as sexual object he said those things quote on quote. As you can see he frequented platforms and media that fuel and supports that racist mentality. The other reason why I'm interested about such topic is due to people all using filters and all the fakeness such as plastic surgery in korea that kind of rise the beauty expectation of males in asia. I'm not really affected but everyone is affected in some way.
It's harmful even if you are psychologically disposed to reject group think. It can still warp your mental window of acceptable opinion either way, takes away attention better used to improving your life or destressing from the bullshit that is the 21st century no matter which point of view you look at it we can all more or less agree that this isn't exactly anyone's ideal world lest they are a business magnate or part of the power elite.
I am a retired clinical psychologist and university professor with 60 years of experience in the fitness culture ( drove cross country in 1963 to train at bill Pearl's gym). I am very impressed by this video and wish you success as an influencer. You have a great message.
@@AlexanderBromley What a great direction! A friend of mine went from performing arts (ballet) to become a professor of rhetoric and now teaches rhetoric at an ivy league school. People coming from diverse backgrounds do great things for academia.
@@AlexanderBromleyPlease do! We need experts from the field to enter academia. Too many folks go straight through school to a PhD and develop myopic views.
Having said that, I wish he would have skipped the Jordan Peterson clip because j.p. is known for willfully misrepresenting information. His story in this clip is no exception. Its false. The soviet union did horrible things but they didn't do this. I assume the story to be a gross misrepresentation of the dekulakization story. Google search if you wanna read the true story, but in a nutshell its ture that the kulaks were the best farmers with the best land, but the problem was not that they over-produced. The problem was that they were resisting collectivization and state control. They weren't contributing what in the way that the state wanted them to. The soviet union did not punish over-production to make those who produced less feel better. That's very silly and it's exactly the type of bologna that Jordan Peterson always serves. It always tastes like shit to the people with real knowledge of the subject matter, but sometimes tastes good to people who lack such knowledge.
"Either you will be corrupted by the multitude, or, if you show disgust, you will be hated by them." I need not say more how timeless these words have proven to be.
I’m glad that you said “timeless” and not “timely”. Some ignorant-of-history youths would call these “modern problems”. They have been experienced throughout all of human history. Shit, people used to get drawn and quartered for not liking Christianity, or being into their own sex, or not praising a king, or any number of reasons for all of our past. So, people fell in line. Nothing new about it.
I'm 35 years old. I vividly remember reading my first Captain America comic and wanting to look like him. 90s WWF wrestling, action movies, American Gladiators - it all gave you a very specific image of what a man was supposed to look like. I lift and stay in shape because it's in my best interest today, but the drive definitely came from what I consumed as a child.
Same! Consumed a ton of comics when I was a kid (mostly X-Men). I became a professional Soldier - When I meet people who are weak and obese I’m like “what the fuck is wrong with you!?”
@@michaelrobertson1736 Yep, I read a lot of X-Men as well. Nothing wrong with wanting to be big and strong as long as you're not poisoning yourself in the process with PED abuse. No use looking like a man's man only to be dead at an early age like a lot of these "influencers". Hate that goddamn term lol.
Phenomenal video. Best one I've seen in weeks. We need to bring back "Physical culture". A generalized concept of fitness instead of the min/max that's pushed so hard in modern society. We have this idea that if you're not the best in a given facet of fitness you're no one.
@@aushshsushshsh5224well if we can't lower the bar then we should try and see the merits and true values of different people instead of admonishing them for not being "the standard"
@@aushshsushshsh5224 It's not about lowering a standard. If a powerlifter can lift 1000lb but can't do a pull-up but another person can lift only 600lb and can do various calisthenics movements on the bar who is at a higher standard? Same goes for all other areas of fitness. It's about spreading out your stat points and not going for a min-max. Same amount of points just a balanced distribution.
I think people around our age, millennials I guess, can have an interesting insight on how social media changed things because we watched it be created. My dad sat me down as a young boy and had me watch Predator, Top Gun, Rambo, etc. He never pointed to the physiques or what the characters accomplished and said, "You need to do that," but instead said, "You could do that if you set your heart to it." He never pushed me to be something specific, he just showed me greatness (athletes too, he was a D1 quarterback) to establish what the limits of the human body and mind are and how far I could push if I wanted to. Nowadays, I feel like younger parents in their 20s obsess over the accomplishments of their kids. It isn't, "I want my kid to be great at something," but specific goals like, "My kid needs to have the best grades/be a champion/etc." It places such a massive burden on kids who feel like failures for not accomplishing things they're statistically unlikely to. All because parents want to brag on social media about how their kid is better than everyone else's kid. I'm both interested and worried about what society will be like when people become adults who weren't just curated by social media, but were raised by parents who were also curated by social media.
I grew up in the 80's to early nineties..."genx", and there were plenty of parents pushing their kids to be in specific careers. Luckily, mine just wanted me to be the best of what I chose to be. But yea, there are parents in every gen that pushed kids as if they're "reliving their life" through them.
Growing up in the 90s, those parents were around at that time too, long before the creation of social media. It was especially common in asian 1st/2nd gen families, still is. The whole "become either a doctor or an engineer" trope. It's a multi-faceted issue- part living vicariously, another aspect being the desire for upward mobility/socioeconomic comfortability for their children after a life of hardship, and so on. Social media popularity is a relatively minor factor in the equation, in my personal experience. It's a tale as old as time, since the creation of wealth classes under capitalism. We're simply seeing it play out in a more widespread manner due to wealth disparity skyrocketing under late-stage capitalism. If you don't get the "best grades" to then attain a scholarship/financial aid to get an illustrious college degree, it's unlikely that you'll be able to afford a house in your lifetime. This wasn't true 40 years ago, when a family could be raised on a single, non-college educated paycheck. The push to achieve is a push for survival- the ability to work a job, have free time, afford a house, and maybe even retire someday. The widening wealth gap is making a comfortable "middle class" life less and less attainable with each passing generation. I recommend reading "Capitalist Realism" by Mark Fisher to better understand the socioeconomic situation we've all become subjected to.
@Ramsaaaa I am sympathetic to the point, but competition and acheivement isn't an optional feature of humanity. It will exist everywhere and, where it doesn't, you will have an active crisis. The way you remove the stress by high acheiving families is by removing the need to acheive, which only exists in a place where humans are obsolete in their own lives but that has a massive trade-off that never gets discussed within progressive circles. I'd be more interested in hearing about leftist takes if there was discussion about the logistics of mental health and social dynamics in a system where everyone isn't obligated to sharpen themselves against the people around them. As someone who had to flee California because the full time incomes of myself and my wife (who has a masters) couldn't get us a 900 square foot house, I am super sympathetic to the housing problem. But the prices are inflated because there is a shortage of 3 million houses and they aren't buildling. It's a policy problem that doesn't require a bloody revolution and a never-before-tried economy to fix.
Dude, you're not ugly. You're average lol. You're like a super strong intellectual paragon of a Santa Claus which is pretty damn cool to me. As a guy who used to model and looks like a borderline physique model when I have pump I've struggled with body image and self-esteem my entire life. Everything you said about training is spot on. I wish more people knew it. It's the work we put in far more than what we see in the mirror.
Nuance is incredibly under appreciated these days and is what I enjoy most about this channel. So many people with big platforms (influencers, politicians, etc) take militant positions on topics they aren’t remotely qualified to form an opinion on. Bromley, you are truly a meathead philosopher.
Ok....but he also states those very opinions as fact in this very video....as a person who is not remotely qualified to make such claims. He states that "boys weren't affected by the media we were given as children like girls were" multiple times......yet, the evidence says otherwise, and my own personal experience also says otherwise. I can't even count the number of times I've been so depressed and burnt out from overtraining that I was thinking about Sue's side. And it literally just stems from an ideal physical standard I'm expected to meet, but can't because of how unrealistic it is. There's thousands of examples of teenagers using gear to meet those standards as well, none of which have any aspirations to become bodybuilders or compete in strength competitions. Just because it's not trying to become as small as possible doesn't mean it's any different when men are abusing drugs and also trying to get as lean as possible to do the same exact thing; fit an unrealistic beauty standard. And men's is arguably more deadly, since bananarex /ia is rarely a fatal condition, especially compared to the cardiovascular deaths that result from all of the things men put themselves through for the same end. Most of the time people who are wasting away get treatment before they perish.
When I worked at TruGreen treating shrubs and trees as a horticultural specialist, I had to talk to a lot of people (40 people a day is a lot to me). It was pretty typical for someone to be worked up about something from the news, and this was 2008. One thing I always thought to tell them was that the tv and the news didn't accurately depict the world at large and to try to avoid getting caught up in it all.
Same. I get called ignorant because of it, but in reality all that happens in the news isn't new (least not in the grand scheme of things) so why watch the world on repeat and get upset when it won't change anything when I could instead learn lessons from it.
Often the news is biased. It gives some facts but other things reflect what the country should be thinking by the countries media. Your way of dealing with this is actually right . Thinking your own thoughts is healthy.
Oh my God, thank you. Every video on men's mental health I've seen recently is either a 20 year old guy saying that you should just man up or the same 20 year old guy saying that everything will be better if you just go to the gym. Thank you for giving the youth wisdom that won't just help to hurt us
I watch a ton of UA-cam videos and I have a strict no comment policy that I'm breaking now to say that this is an excellent video. Like you, I have several decades in the fitness culture, starting from being influenced by comic and action heroes of the 80s, to growing up and doing strength and conditioning coaching and personal training for my career. I want you to know that I'm sharing this video with as many of my clients and friends as possible. Somewhat for the physical culture education, but mostly because of the excellent life advice you gave here. Well done.
well you are absolute right. Instagram models just pushed me in past into body dismorphia, eating disorders and depression luckily i stay away from steroids and get rid of social media.
Currently listening to this while punishing myself in the gym to get 19 inch arms. Why? No idea anymore. Training has gone from health and fitness to being hard on myself about nonsense.
Just try and have some fun while testing the limita of your body. Progress is only really tracked when compared to yourself. Forget other people and have fun!
Muscle damage causes hormones and endorphins to be released that make you feel good. Its the body's way of mitigating the pain of physical exertion. Like a runners high.
@@TheSuperappelflap damn, maybe i have a brain tumor because working out has never once done what you described, lol. The best I usually hope for is that I'm not so fatigued and beat down that I can still do other activities that day.
The thing is that science and scientist job is to find questions and then propose answers in a very specific context. It is never meant to be used as is or shared as is by people but to be contextualized. We have a science reporting issue. As for the rest, totally agree 💯
The part about anti-fragility really struck a chord with me. I used the concept about my prior mental issues growing up but hearing it verbaized like this is really helpful. I want to try applying this concept to myself more in the future
Funny that your muscular dad bod is what i want and started training SERIOUSLY, slowly, adding exercises to rutine every week some months ago. Now i know what they say that u only need to compare to yourself some years ago, and im hoping reaching 35 in some years in my peak, thanks to awesome ppl like you who put shit and boundaries into perspective. Thank you.
42:07 onwards .... OMFGGGGGGGG! The antifragility part with eustress really resonated with me because idk if you have any cameras in my apartment but that is EXACTLY what I've been thinking about the formula for how to strive in the modern world. Stress is not bad, hell there are studies showing that people who view stress as more positive literally LIVE LONGER than those who don't. The stress to make yourself more antifragile is eustress, positive stress that MAKES US GROW. This needs to be applied to multiple domains and I love how at the end you broadly put it in three. 1. A community 2. Responsibility 3. Companionship I usually say physically, socially, romantically, intellectually (which leads to financial), and psychologically (aka emotionally). Phenomenal video Alex, love more videos like this!
There is a psychological effect, where people who are stressed, depressed, or otherwise unhappy will try to avoid the stressors. This on a mid to long term lowers your stress tolerance. i.e. you feel overwhelmed in some social settings, so you go out less, spend more time alone, and this lowers your treshold for feeling social anxiety. The way to remedy this is exposure therapy, expose yourself to moderate amounts of stress you can handle. So instead of going to crowded bars and night clubs visit some less busy social hubs and slowly build up from there until you dont feel anxious in a crowded place. This takes time and effort.
I remember when you used to be a channel about training and programming. This is next level, adding in philosophy, virtues, and current affairs in society. Now you stand out far above other strength channels. Subbed. This is the type of content young men need, not social media tiktokers and fitness drama
I hesitated sincerely. But my audience is 98% men and the exploitative elements of the 'manosphere' get attention because they are a monopoly on the game. Lifting will still be a main feature but where I have something to say, I'm going to say it.
@@horseman3222he still puts out great lifting content, if this particular type of content isn't for you then just scroll on to the next one. I for one think it's awesome to see someone pivot successfully, I also think it's a much needed niche to show that us muscleheads can actually be smart, well educated and well versed on multiple other topics aside from lifting.
Good job addressing this topic, men's body image issues does not exclude or negate women's body issues. They have their similarities and differences, but of course men's body dismorphia should be discussed.
The message in this video reminded me of my struggles as a child to now. I still find it strange that some people now believe I'm someone "who has his shit together". Some people have told me it was probably an easy path for me to achieve the level of "success" I currently have. Some have even said my "good looks" and "dedicated mindset" were definite tools that helped. It was strange for me to hear these things because these people have no idea of the chaotic path life put me on during my childhood to early adult life.
Growing up as a kid with not so great genetics, and consistently being the last pick in team sports, these "unrealistic expectations" were definitely a net positive. In my day, they were guys like Arnold, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, and all of the jacked comic book characters. I started lifting with the unwavering belief that I could look like Arnold one day! Of course that never happened, lol. But, that being said, I got way farther than I ever could have expected, having success in local bodybuilding competitions, powerlifting, and bjj. How does the saying go? "Shoot for the stars, end up on the moon..." Something like that? Still to this day, I find the high standards to the top achievers in the physical realm to be inspiring and motivating.
I couldn't agree with this statement more. People can whine and complain all they want about how "society" and "media" are damaging them with these images. However, the interpretation of these signals is all up to the individual. I was in the same boat. I was skinny and unathletic. I see the larger-than-life celebrities and fictional characters as inspiration and an ideal that can't be reached . . . but a worthy goal to strive for. Like your "shoot for the stars" adage, here's another one: On the road to perfection, you might run into excellence. People need to take accountability and understand that, at the end of the day, they need to pull up their big-boy pants and do the work that's necessary. Blaming others for their own shortcomings or downfalls can only go so far.
As I told the kids I mentored over the years: "If you aim for the moon, you might not make it. If you aim for the stars, you might hit the moon." Always set your goal higher than you reasonably believe you can make: if you want to lose 10# by Christmas, eat and exercise like you want to lose 50#.
I think the main determinant of that is what you got out of it. The idea that you get out what you put in is a fallacy that really needs to die.. I also started out thinking I could get something good. Though I did know that Arnold and the like were on gear, so my goal was more along the lines of the Rock back in his WWE days, or Chris Hemsworth back in the first Thor movie......which I thought would be more achievable......but I spent the first few years spinning my gears and chronically overtrained because I convinced myself that I could achieve that, and that the harder I worked the more I would get back. So, I didn't grow at all. I got no results. "Shooting for the moon" landed me in the cold vacuum of space.
This was a fantastic video- so many solid, nuanced takes here. I really appreciated your perspective as a female powerlifter in recovery from anorexia. Gained a new subscriber!
I've been watching and liking your content for a while, and when i saw this video, as a woman, i was afraid to watch it because i didn't want to be let down. But you came correct for women and men, and i really appreciate it.
Interesting. I think the fact you were prepared to be let down is an issue in itself. Anything regarding men's struggles is seen as toxic or misogynistic for some reason.
To reply to anyone confused as to why I was prepared to be let down: a lot of men will use this topic to detract from women's issues. The popular term for this phenomenon is "whataboutism". A parallel with race is when white ppl say things like "all lives matter" or "what about the Irish" and what have you. Again, thanks Bromley! You rock!
@@maksun66883 Frankly I see more men just trying to say that we have thes eproblems too, it' not exclusive to one group. As long as your not watching red pilled morons or whatever, most folks I've seen are trying to push the message that we all are struggling with these standards and issues. So we shouldn't fight over who suffers more and just try to help pull ourselves up out of the mess we are all collectively in
It is a weird thing. What has helped me has, in fact, being neutral and accepting of how I look for basically most of my life. Even when I was at my heaviest. I began exercising mostly for health, and because the concept that finally got pummeled into my mind was that being sedentary is bad, that moving is good. That binging just a few types of food is bad, that having more vegetables is good. I still like being lazy, watch UA-cam, play video games, eat pizzas, burgers and all sorts of fried stuff with cheese. The difference is that now I have chosen to introduce more variety in my daily meals, basically always including some vegetables for lunch and mostly going for white meats. I work out formally only two hours per week, but since it's Taekwondo, something that I struggle with due to my weight and lack of flexibility, I have added a few short exercise routines to my daily schedule. I have lost some weight in the past six months, and am getting thinner. My goal isn't to reach a certain weight, I've been lucky that even though I've been overweight for about a third of my life, I haven't had any health scares. My goal is simply to add movement into my life as a regular thing.
Since I really started to focus on healthy food and cooking for myself every day, living alone, I have lost my appetite for fried food almost completely. Kalamari, the fried octopus rings, still taste pretty good but I really cant eat fries anymore without feeling disgust. And I gained a new appreciation for some stuff like lentils that I found horrible as a kid, I can actually make a few vegetarian dishes now that dont leave me craving a nice slab of meat afterward.
You're on the right track. That's how I often approached fitness and it helped me push past a lot while staying stable. Don't sleep on taking good walks and hiking if you can.
@@TheSuperappelflap after eating a lot healthier than I did growing up I can't even enjoy junk food like I used to anymore (still do just in moderation). I went to a buffet with my family for the first time in years and I was over it after one plate😂
Dude, you really are jewel in this space! I love that you are branching out towards that direction, and you did an absolutely incredible job for this one! I'm sorry you are so hard on yourself. To me, you are a great athlete, an amazing educator, and a very sharp, wise, grounded, good-hearted person. That's rare and truly valuable. Thank you for consistently producing great content! We want more of it!
Appreciate it! The bit at the end was supposed to be more... humorously self-deprecating than it came across. But the point is it doesn't enter into my mind space.
So many quotable things in this video that are super meaningful and super necessary for people to hear - especially those in a low, but even those on a high so they can keep perspective. I dare say the title is too narrowly focused as it definitely hits a broader topic than just men dealing with body standards. As someone that's currently in low (and not even from body or physique distress), I can say this has definitely helped uplift me and I think I'll sleep better tonight as a result. I really appreciate everything said in this video.
Great video! Important to remember that for every 1 person who we see as an inspiration, there are 99 others who tried all the same things but didn't make it for X number of reasons. We only see the people at the top because they made it to the top. Most people are somewhere in the middle, and we aren't generally interested in or shown those people because they aren't exceptional. Training is a very personal thing and one should concentrate on doing the best they can do for oneself, not comparing to others.
Also important to mention that many of those X factors are completely out of your control, can occur randomly, and which one of those 100 people make it to the top has a significant luck factor involved even if they all do the exact same thing.
It is extremely difficult to touch on so many complex topics and still manage to find coherent talking point which doesn't sound like you're picking the subject matters just to prove your point. Thank you for the solid essay, Bromley.
30 years ago my old teaching mentor advised me to reject the toxic "self esteem culture" in public school systems. Our stance is that self esteem is earned by committing esteemable acts. Great vid, thanks. PS I didn't watch, just listened. Screens can be too much.
My earliest memories are being driven around circa 1992 while my mom played talk radio, like Dr. Laura. I had been thoroughly warned about the movement of self esteem before a teacher ever had a chance to bring it up; I'm inclined to think my self esteem is better for it.
What is toxic self esteem culture? If it's what I think it is, then it's just an overcorrection from how frustratingly disrespectful people would be to each other (especially kids).
I tried to talk about this in a debate about body positivity and societal pressure to fit in, when I was a member of a feminist organization in my late teens in the early 2000. I got thrown out, and excluded for changing topics and destroying important debate. But 20 years later and it is slowly starting to become a topic in those sircles.
Honestly really appreciated this video. It always upset me when people would say that men didn’t have beauty standards like women did. Was difficult to deal with height, 6 pack abs, a body like these superhero’s on TV.
About 2 years ago I was very lean at around 170 pounds, 6'1. I dont know what my body fat percentage was but I do know that I barely didnt have shredded abs and it already hurt to walk. Went to my doctor, they said there was nothing wrong with my physically, so I exercised a bit less, gained a bit of weight, and now I have a bit of a gut but at least I can get around like a normal person. In my opinion the aesthetics are never worth being in physical pain, but that is the reality for a bunch of those people on social media, and that is the best case scenario if theyre not also taking harmful substances to achieve that look.
Sounds a lot like there's a lot of responsibility on parents to talk to kids, being there for them, listening them and their problems (and joys), to guide them to a healthy self-esteem not only with words but with actions and example. How I didn't see that one before... To be honest, I think this video is an absolutely brilliant.
Yeah the point abiut plus-size models always struck me. They strictly adhere to EVERY conventional beauty standard except for one - and even the extra weight allowance is contingent on a very specific distribution pattern that retains a small waist-hip ratio. It makes the “F your beauty standards” meme such an absurd farce that it’s hard to not be cynical about it. Maybe it’s a small positive step, a crack in the foundation of unrealistic standards, but I know deep down that it was just a sanctimonious bad faith pop media trend
Yeah and it's not a criticism which you often hear, as the people against it focus on some pretense that it is somehow the downfall of society rather than a pretty obvious marketing gimmick.
@@Dracon7601 Honestly, it's kind of both. We're at terminal velocity rushing from gimmick to gimmick and trying to make it stick. If things weren't that bad, would we really need such measures?
@@ChucksSEADnDEAD I would disagree with that, business has always moved from gimmick to gimmick to sell products, it's why mascots are a thing. What is interesting is questioning the nature of the marketing we see and what it's implicitly saying. Something previously only advertisers and professors seemed to care about.
@@Dracon7601 But things didn't move as fast. "Use our product. It's good" worked for decades. "Use our product. It's the best" worked for a few decades too. Now it seems everything is a freaking psyops and at best it lasts 1-2 years.
@@ChucksSEADnDEAD I disagree use our product it's good was maybe valid for small businesses but the big evolution in advertising began around the 60s with DeBeers selling diamonds as a sign of love and required for marriage as well as other companies doing similar crap to sell products. It's more refined in theory today but the basis of the techniques has been around for ages.
Bromley, what a spectacular video. So many gems of wisdom and great insights on life and on training lifestyle. The part at 38:32 is so, so spot on: "The type of mindset that looks at excellence and immediately feels inadequacy is one that will feel inadequate no matter what is fed to them."
I just want to say this is outstanding. Top tier stuff. Excellently articulated a lot of the random jumbled thoughts I've had about the debates over 'the fitness industry' and 'unrealistic male body standards in recent years.
It shouldn't be a rarity to find someone with their heads screwed in right. Yet, here I am watching this video. Please continue to be the strong and gentle force the world needs.
I think shame has its place. Shame helped me go from 305 and horrifically out of shape to 215 in a year. I saw myself in a security camera footage playback... and I couldn't hide from how unhealthy I looked!
Congrats man, that's phenomenal. I believe shame has it's place, but it's a machete, not a scalpel. I respond very positively to shame because I hold high standards for myself but ALSO believe I have a substantial amount of control over the outcome. Getting people to that second part is important before judgment or criticism can have a postiive effect.
I gotta tell you, man, this might be the best thing I've seen on the Internet ever. It's intelligent, sensible, explained with patience and care, and speaks to most of us right where we are. I'm very glad I bumped into you today.
It is not about the destination but the road you take when it comes to working out. I enjoy the fact that I am able to get out of bed and do my daily exercises. I don't even have proper ABS and I only have a slightly above average body but I am happy with it. I am proud of my routine and I am happy for the fact that I can focus on bettering myself. (Yes, I don't use social media, and it has a huge impact on me.)
Great video, especially the end. Conveying that it doesn’t fix everything and that you’re not always alright is a big one. I have the same sense that lifting hasn’t magically protected me from me but it’s a huge positive that pushes me down the path that leads away from the edge instead of towards it. 👍🏽💪🏽
As a gay man, I think something that influences a lot the type of body and look we strive for, is the expectations of the people we want to sleep with have. Meaning, straight and gay women don't put much emphasis in the looks of their partners, at least not as much as both straight and gay men.
I am a straight guy. I went from 134 kg to somewhat lean 95 kg. I have the chest, arms and shoulders. Legs are lacking somewhat, but no abs. I get looks from women when I go to the swimming pool. I have a reasonable diet. I heard the beautie standards for thd gays is insane.
what a video. an absolute awesome take coming from a 26 year old who couldnt articulate exactly how i felt about this subject. this was a fantastic video every man should watch.
That concept of antifragility is such a good complement to the concept of self care. We need both. Too much self care and you become soft and too susceptible to anything troubling. Too much stress is bad too. But also not enough of either is also bad. There's new research being discussed about how our attitudes towards stress really affects whether it's detrimental or not. Very interesting. We shouldn't be afraid to challenge ourselves and be uncomfortable.
Man, it's videos like this that make me realise how fortunate I've been. I'm lucky that my parents were so incredible that prepared me for all of this social media stuff, because when I look at these incredible feats, I just think "Ah, that's awesome! I'm not going to try that though. I like having my life balance.". It's afforded me the mental capacity and fortitude to be the healthiest and happiest I've ever been while in my mid-30s. Was really great to hear a deep dive into these issues from the other side, since they don't affect me at all. So thank you a ton, Alexander!
Just watched Karen Straughan's most popular video on why men are not marrying (highly recommend) I'm looking forward to this series. It's a huge issue in this modern world to try find meaning and purpose in a world where men don't have to do the things that only men could do and women could not
It’s just there’s a strong anti-family narrative out there. We need to promote the family more as it allows for a much more functioning society . A woman cannot raise a boy to be a man and a man cannot raise a girl to be a woman
I saw the video about strongman methods and mistook this channel for a bodybuilder channel. Which I'm only vaguely interested in. But you sir, have so much more to offer than the "typical bodybuilder channel" (if there was ever such a thing)... What I'm trying to say is. Your no bullshit approach and clear cut thoughts on societal tendencies, is engaging me in positive ways! So even though we fall victim to the algorithms here and there, this was definitely a welcome breath of fresh air amidst all the attention hoarding out there. Thank you, new sub here.
Dude, Bromley. Your approach to video essays and the subjects you cover are all blended perfectly by your unique perspective. Thank you so much for sharing - I needed to hear all of this.
You've really impressed with this video, I didn't expect you to do so well with a video essay with a different topic and approach then usual. You have immense potential in this field, you should pursue it further.
Its not just women that have unrealistic standards for men. Other men also criticize you for being "soft", or "beta male". And ironically enough, a lot of the guys calling others that are very insecure, and feel the need to belittle others to feel better about themselves.
hoping someone would say this. the idea that men experience no social pressure to look/be/act a certain way is and only women socially pressure each other that way is patently absurd. Some of the absolute worst peer pressure I’ve seen has been in what men think a “real man” should be like. The whole podcast bro thing is built on the fact that this happens, they wouldn’t be raking in the followers throwing money at them if this wasn’t the case.
What I've learned is that I shouldn't be comparing myself to others but comparing me to myself. Set goals that you think you can achieve not what someone else has achieved. Some people progress quicker or slower than others. Over time you'll kearn how to set achievable goals. Whether that's getting rid if a bad habit or keeping at a good habit.
Just wait till you are 35+ and hopefully an adult. Caring about how others do compared to you gets less and less important. I go to you guys for inspiration, but I only measure myself to my performance yesterday.
Why wait until 35? Stop caring about what others think at 15, I say. Do your own thing and leave those people behind you, if they wanted to understand you, they would.
This is a pretty meta approach, talking about the underlying factors. In HS I was tall and skinny and if I ever saw a guy with bigger arms than me(80% of the population) I would get mad or depressed for a few hours. I'm 23 now and happy but not content with how I look. Idk how much of that was me putting on 40lbs of muscle and how much of it was me realizing I'm not built like a 5' 7" tank.
This is the type of content men need to understand the underlying reasons of the way we feel. Great work, I hope you can keep making this kind of videos.
I fit the image of a slightly overweight man who feels useless and does nothing, but I've started to exercise, and I'm trying to get skills to help me in life. Now, my BMI is getting to a good parameter because I'm trying to eat healthy and exercise. In short, turning your life around is an action. If you want to be better, you have to take the steps, even if they're small.
Bruh how should i do that i am really fat 😂 men women and this world hate normal men maybe i want leave this place but i don’t want one of 400 k suicidal person heh
Thanks bro, love this. I joined kickboxing not long ago (after being in the gym for a while), and it put me in this weird paradox where my strength and speed are increasing like crazy, but my actual muscle mass is decreasing. The Greek God physique is wildly unrelated to actual strength and power.
This video is dope af. Instant classic. Something I could share with everyone from my kids (when they're a little), peers, to my 80 year old parents. 🔥🔥🔥
Deleting social media 3.5 years ago (UA-cam and LinkedIn are the only places I have with a profile) was the best decision I made since turning 30. Mental health is better and I’ve cut the noise of acquaintances and those that don’t matter to friends and family that still reach out directly. You don’t need 200 “friends”. Realizing that seems to be a new step in self-actualization for the digital generations.
This is some high caliber discussion. I already knew you could philosophize with the best of em, but this is probably your magnum opus, in my opinion. I'm excited to share this with friends and family, independent of their relationship with fitness. Seriously man, great work. Inspiring.
I do similar work as you, and right now, all I can say is that you are gifted with your dense knowledge. Your video should be watched numerous times in order to fully grasp everything in your descriptions.
I think the obsession with celebrity steroid cycles stems from general male insecurity. The same people who insist The Rock needs to come clean so that kids don’t get mislead probably wouldn’t tell Johnny Depp to tell the kids he visits in hospitals that he’s gotta be drunk and smacked up on booger sugar to play Jack Sparrow and brighten their day. If The Rock detailed all the hard work, diet and discipline that goes into his physique, then even just briefly mentioned testosterone, everyone damn well knows a teenage kid isn’t gonna remember a single other thing he said.
This is straight up one of, IF NOT, the best video I have ever watched in my whole entire life, instantly subscribed and turned on notifications. Thank you for taking the time and work to produce this masterpiece mate
Damn man, you are on a roll. You are one of the few content creators that I feel got into it not because of some intrinsic narcissism or potential for monetary gain but truly with good intentions at heart.
While I'm gonna continue the video, the "guys and eating disorders" thing is a tricky one. Guys are generally not as well diagnosed for anything as women, and lots of behavior which is frowned upon for women is praised for men. Ex: 'Jimmy is cutting weight for wrestling this year. He'll have to lose 20 lbs in the next 4 weeks. We should do everything we can as parents to help make weight.' V. ' I think Suzy lost 15 lbs this month. A lot of her clothes seem looser on her. I hope she's not going through a crisis. We should do everything as parents to stop her from starving herself anymore.' You can say Jimmy was pursuing a goal and Suzy wasn't, but I bet Suzy had some motivating factor in mind, even if it's just to impress someone or fit into a dress that's motivation. It's just as valid as trying to be the 5th best athlete at a regional district quarter finals match.
this is a bad example. jimmy knowes, that he is doing something temporary and nereds to regain the weight or loose strength. Suzy has no clear goal and just wants to be super skinny propabaly regaining the weight getting depressed dieting again and going into an anorexic downward spiral.
@@michaelbentz1548 you're doing exactly the thing that I mentioned in the beginning and emphasized in the end. You're saying the boy's reason is good, healthy, and temporary while the girl's is vague, unhealthy, and lifelong. There's really no indication that that's true. Their motivations are just different, not inherently higher or lower in value.
i agree, both are equally as valid especially considering women are given more status if society considers them beautiful. subconscious observations are powerful and (mostly) rational. harm reduction is probably the optimal response to both, rather than pathologizing reasonable responses to observed social norms while placing the blame on the individual. along with critical discussion on the purpose of the norms themselves of course.
@@drewe51 There is every indication that it's true, you're just pretending there isn't. You are fully ignoring the context YOU PROVIDED. The fuck are you even trying to say, dude?
So much wisdom in this post. Taken me a while to get around to it - because not interested in "body image". But this message is so much more profound than that. The distorted reality of social media is destructive in many ways. Well done Alex 👏👏👏
I love that you address that competence, confidence, and grit are things that are inherently attractive to most people, but women in particular seek out these traits. The "nice guy vs Chads" concept is largely trash and it is because you can find people like Alexander and myself who aren't classically handsome men in the way many of the A-list celebrities are, but we do/did fine with women. So much of the despair I see is purely in perception. It's as if all of us feel lonely, ugly, and rejected, wanting some kind of care or companionship but the acknowledgement of that is somehow beyond reproach. I don't think most women are only willing to date a guy who is 6'5", jacked like the Rock, makes at least $200k/yr, and owns multiple homes. The women who was stupidly willing to say that on record are both outliers and permanently single. And the same goes for men who think they're only going to date perfect looking Czech supermodels. Most of us, I believe, want someone we consider attractive and who generally contribute positively to the qualify of our lives.
Holy shit. Forget fitness influencer, Bromley is punching way above his weight here - this is a thoroughly well done video! Fuck Johnny Harris, let’s go Bromley! Thank you for this, the though the research, the perspective. So refreshing!
Love how you’re doing these. I know it’s a fine line figuring out how far you can reasonable deviate from the standard lifting topics on this type of channel. (These videos and your and Israetel’s alternate channels generally have the same cool one-off foci.) I’m still at the start of the video (but too excited not to type), but my thoughts in the first 5 minutes are this. I think people generally have the right idea to focus on body positivity in a broad sense, but I think they’re putting the cart before the horse. For, they’re focusing on positivity in its own sake, since they are seeing how life is rough and people get beaten up over time and get down on themselves. This is a chicken and the egg thing. While I’m not particularly religious these days, I do think the old saying from church that, “Rather than asking God to give us easier tasks and to remove our burdens, we should be asking Him to give us the strength to bear these burdens,” reigns completely true. Making life easier for kids is handicapping them, making them less capable of dealing with things as an adult (now, a Denzel Washington quote from Remember the Titans is playing in my head, “You’re crippling them, coach. You’re crippling them for life [by swooping in and rescuing them from the various hardships they face on the team]”). I think they’ve got the right idea that something must be done, but let’s toughen them up in a healthy way so can rise to meet these social challenges rather than artificially making life easier. And how do we do that? Well, that’s the rub, isn’t it? That is going to require the greatest effort from us as adults and community mentors and teachers and coaches (I’m not a coach btw). Give them a task and a deadline. Set them up for success by giving them the tools. But hold them accountable for not completing the task to time and standard. Make them do extracurriculars, and your them in leadership positions. Let them learn the consequences of failure when the stakes aren’t so high. Ok, rant over! Haha
Barbie wasn't designed by Mattel to be what they thought a woman should look like. She was designed that way so young girls could easily swap clothes. It's faster to dress a stick figure than a healthy shape. That meant selling more clothes for their Barbies. It's also why most models are skinny. It's easier for a quick change into your next outfit than if you have any kind of a healthy physique.
BaseStrengthAI is more reliable than a coach, cheaper than an Excel template!👇👇👇
www.BaseStrength.com/the-app
Bromley Merch from Barbell Apparel only available HERE! 👇👇👇
barbellapparel.com/Bromley
Ja rrrrro Uzi 😮j
I gave you a like just because you said you are the “fattest influencer.” it’s gold medal work friend.
Also - do you have kids in PPS too? Or just picking on us because it’s easy?
there's only one fix
a better economy
imho everything flows from there
(more stabillity, less metal problems, more marriages surviving , lesser singel parents etc etc)
all ppl are doing now is surviving
Descartes had it wrong all the way. We should say I'm therefore I think
God bless you for this work
17:00 Many people dismiss the fact how media shape a lot perception of reality and the image of what is a potential male or female partner.
Asian male representation often as a bad guy or ridicule comic relief hasn't helped and when an asian speaks about it, they are not taken seriously and told to go back to their country if they don't like how things are here while asian females are hypersexualized.
I want to mention about such topic to show how influencial media really is.
During the era about before the chinese exclusion act, the first hollywood hearttrobe male was Sessue Hayakawa, a handsome japanese man that women were head over heels for his good looks despite hollywood always portraying him as a villain and earned him the title as "the cheat" and back home, japanese people hated him for playing those roles which portray the image of japanese male as villains. Sessue thought he was doing a good job but then he went into depression phase due to that. They portrayed him as villain and sexual predator that women have to be warry of.
But Hollywood's plan of portraying asian male in such way failed due to Sessue's good looks that made him gain title of Hollywood's first hearttrobe.
After that comes the chinese exclusion act. In many they portrayed asian male being tiny violent aggressors towards white women (you can search on google image) well the people who make such content learns from mistakes. Hollywood then only portray nit as good looking asian male actors as comedic relief.
Personally I don't have issue as an asian guy living in Canada and had many girls asking me to go on date. But I'm fascinated about this topic due to 2 things, first is a white guy who used to be my friend told me he thinks that asian males are: sub-humans who are ugly, tiny genital, weak, incompetent(non reliable just how they portray in movies) while he says everyone desires asian female and asian females are meant to be with white guy's and wants white male'a genital 💀 basically he views asian female as sexual object he said those things quote on quote. As you can see he frequented platforms and media that fuel and supports that racist mentality.
The other reason why I'm interested about such topic is due to people all using filters and all the fakeness such as plastic surgery in korea that kind of rise the beauty expectation of males in asia. I'm not really affected but everyone is affected in some way.
“This was the start of your boredom being permanently replaced by other people’s opinions.” On point! This is great work!
Absolutely
😮😮😮
That is a quote for the century
@@abderrahimbenmoussa4359 I agree
It's harmful even if you are psychologically disposed to reject group think. It can still warp your mental window of acceptable opinion either way, takes away attention better used to improving your life or destressing from the bullshit that is the 21st century no matter which point of view you look at it we can all more or less agree that this isn't exactly anyone's ideal world lest they are a business magnate or part of the power elite.
I am a retired clinical psychologist and university professor with 60 years of experience in the fitness culture ( drove cross country in 1963 to train at bill Pearl's gym). I am very impressed by this video and wish you success as an influencer. You have a great message.
I appreciate that! I just went back to get my degree in Psychology. Hoping to teach at university in the next decade or so!
@@AlexanderBromley What a great direction! A friend of mine went from performing arts (ballet) to become a professor of rhetoric and now teaches rhetoric at an ivy league school. People coming from diverse backgrounds do great things for academia.
@@AlexanderBromleyPlease do! We need experts from the field to enter academia. Too many folks go straight through school to a PhD and develop myopic views.
So you are 70-90 Years old and writing a UA-cam commend?
Thats respectable!
@@AlexanderBromley Gymcology
Bromley really stepping up to the plate here. Good for him I say. Humanity needs people to care and discuss these ideas a little more seriously.
We need more of this honesty, integrity and transparency
I love it Bromley is being the camel he talked about now. I hope his channel blows up soon again.
Not just strong in the body
Having said that, I wish he would have skipped the Jordan Peterson clip because j.p. is known for willfully misrepresenting information. His story in this clip is no exception. Its false. The soviet union did horrible things but they didn't do this. I assume the story to be a gross misrepresentation of the dekulakization story. Google search if you wanna read the true story, but in a nutshell its ture that the kulaks were the best farmers with the best land, but the problem was not that they over-produced. The problem was that they were resisting collectivization and state control. They weren't contributing what in the way that the state wanted them to. The soviet union did not punish over-production to make those who produced less feel better. That's very silly and it's exactly the type of bologna that Jordan Peterson always serves. It always tastes like shit to the people with real knowledge of the subject matter, but sometimes tastes good to people who lack such knowledge.
Yea agreed J. Peterson is generally a fool.
"Either you will be corrupted by the multitude, or, if you show disgust, you will be hated by them."
I need not say more how timeless these words have proven to be.
That's the best description of Twitter I've ever seen.
And it comes from thoundsands of years ago
@@Undergamer12I love that people are still calling it Twitter despite the stupid name change.😄
Can you guys just finger each other already?
This is the best description of every environment you'll ever be in.
I’m glad that you said “timeless” and not “timely”. Some ignorant-of-history youths would call these “modern problems”. They have been experienced throughout all of human history.
Shit, people used to get drawn and quartered for not liking Christianity, or being into their own sex, or not praising a king, or any number of reasons for all of our past. So, people fell in line.
Nothing new about it.
I'm 35 years old. I vividly remember reading my first Captain America comic and wanting to look like him. 90s WWF wrestling, action movies, American Gladiators - it all gave you a very specific image of what a man was supposed to look like. I lift and stay in shape because it's in my best interest today, but the drive definitely came from what I consumed as a child.
so glad you werent raised on kpop
@@leigh7507 what you said is as evil as the unrealistic body standards the media had created
Same! Consumed a ton of comics when I was a kid (mostly X-Men). I became a professional Soldier - When I meet people who are weak and obese I’m like “what the fuck is wrong with you!?”
@@leigh7507 LOL
@@michaelrobertson1736 Yep, I read a lot of X-Men as well. Nothing wrong with wanting to be big and strong as long as you're not poisoning yourself in the process with PED abuse. No use looking like a man's man only to be dead at an early age like a lot of these "influencers". Hate that goddamn term lol.
Phenomenal video. Best one I've seen in weeks.
We need to bring back "Physical culture". A generalized concept of fitness instead of the min/max that's pushed so hard in modern society.
We have this idea that if you're not the best in a given facet of fitness you're no one.
Brilliant. Totally agree.
People won't lower their standards, the bar can only go up
@@aushshsushshsh5224well if we can't lower the bar then we should try and see the merits and true values of different people instead of admonishing them for not being "the standard"
@@aushshsushshsh5224
It's not about lowering a standard. If a powerlifter can lift 1000lb but can't do a pull-up but another person can lift only 600lb and can do various calisthenics movements on the bar who is at a higher standard?
Same goes for all other areas of fitness. It's about spreading out your stat points and not going for a min-max. Same amount of points just a balanced distribution.
Amen to that 🙏
I think people around our age, millennials I guess, can have an interesting insight on how social media changed things because we watched it be created. My dad sat me down as a young boy and had me watch Predator, Top Gun, Rambo, etc. He never pointed to the physiques or what the characters accomplished and said, "You need to do that," but instead said, "You could do that if you set your heart to it." He never pushed me to be something specific, he just showed me greatness (athletes too, he was a D1 quarterback) to establish what the limits of the human body and mind are and how far I could push if I wanted to.
Nowadays, I feel like younger parents in their 20s obsess over the accomplishments of their kids. It isn't, "I want my kid to be great at something," but specific goals like, "My kid needs to have the best grades/be a champion/etc." It places such a massive burden on kids who feel like failures for not accomplishing things they're statistically unlikely to. All because parents want to brag on social media about how their kid is better than everyone else's kid.
I'm both interested and worried about what society will be like when people become adults who weren't just curated by social media, but were raised by parents who were also curated by social media.
I grew up in the 80's to early nineties..."genx", and there were plenty of parents pushing their kids to be in specific careers.
Luckily, mine just wanted me to be the best of what I chose to be.
But yea, there are parents in every gen that pushed kids as if they're "reliving their life" through them.
Well said!
Growing up in the 90s, those parents were around at that time too, long before the creation of social media. It was especially common in asian 1st/2nd gen families, still is. The whole "become either a doctor or an engineer" trope. It's a multi-faceted issue- part living vicariously, another aspect being the desire for upward mobility/socioeconomic comfortability for their children after a life of hardship, and so on. Social media popularity is a relatively minor factor in the equation, in my personal experience. It's a tale as old as time, since the creation of wealth classes under capitalism. We're simply seeing it play out in a more widespread manner due to wealth disparity skyrocketing under late-stage capitalism. If you don't get the "best grades" to then attain a scholarship/financial aid to get an illustrious college degree, it's unlikely that you'll be able to afford a house in your lifetime. This wasn't true 40 years ago, when a family could be raised on a single, non-college educated paycheck. The push to achieve is a push for survival- the ability to work a job, have free time, afford a house, and maybe even retire someday. The widening wealth gap is making a comfortable "middle class" life less and less attainable with each passing generation. I recommend reading "Capitalist Realism" by Mark Fisher to better understand the socioeconomic situation we've all become subjected to.
Hfkhql kn😢keifhqlmu
@Ramsaaaa I am sympathetic to the point, but competition and acheivement isn't an optional feature of humanity. It will exist everywhere and, where it doesn't, you will have an active crisis. The way you remove the stress by high acheiving families is by removing the need to acheive, which only exists in a place where humans are obsolete in their own lives but that has a massive trade-off that never gets discussed within progressive circles. I'd be more interested in hearing about leftist takes if there was discussion about the logistics of mental health and social dynamics in a system where everyone isn't obligated to sharpen themselves against the people around them.
As someone who had to flee California because the full time incomes of myself and my wife (who has a masters) couldn't get us a 900 square foot house, I am super sympathetic to the housing problem. But the prices are inflated because there is a shortage of 3 million houses and they aren't buildling. It's a policy problem that doesn't require a bloody revolution and a never-before-tried economy to fix.
Dude, you're not ugly. You're average lol. You're like a super strong intellectual paragon of a Santa Claus which is pretty damn cool to me. As a guy who used to model and looks like a borderline physique model when I have pump I've struggled with body image and self-esteem my entire life. Everything you said about training is spot on. I wish more people knew it. It's the work we put in far more than what we see in the mirror.
You’re average he’s bear mode
Man looks like a baby with a beard. That's ugly.
I know because I look just like him
🤣🤣🤣🤣@@Watch_Derek
He’s bald and fat.
@@Watch_Dereki would like to disagree but he really does
Nuance is incredibly under appreciated these days and is what I enjoy most about this channel. So many people with big platforms (influencers, politicians, etc) take militant positions on topics they aren’t remotely qualified to form an opinion on. Bromley, you are truly a meathead philosopher.
Meathead philosopher, couldn't use a better word to describe Mr. Bromley. We doff our hats to your inventive and glorious wordplay.
Ok....but he also states those very opinions as fact in this very video....as a person who is not remotely qualified to make such claims.
He states that "boys weren't affected by the media we were given as children like girls were" multiple times......yet, the evidence says otherwise, and my own personal experience also says otherwise.
I can't even count the number of times I've been so depressed and burnt out from overtraining that I was thinking about Sue's side. And it literally just stems from an ideal physical standard I'm expected to meet, but can't because of how unrealistic it is. There's thousands of examples of teenagers using gear to meet those standards as well, none of which have any aspirations to become bodybuilders or compete in strength competitions. Just because it's not trying to become as small as possible doesn't mean it's any different when men are abusing drugs and also trying to get as lean as possible to do the same exact thing; fit an unrealistic beauty standard. And men's is arguably more deadly, since bananarex /ia is rarely a fatal condition, especially compared to the cardiovascular deaths that result from all of the things men put themselves through for the same end. Most of the time people who are wasting away get treatment before they perish.
When I worked at TruGreen treating shrubs and trees as a horticultural specialist, I had to talk to a lot of people (40 people a day is a lot to me). It was pretty typical for someone to be worked up about something from the news, and this was 2008. One thing I always thought to tell them was that the tv and the news didn't accurately depict the world at large and to try to avoid getting caught up in it all.
Same. I get called ignorant because of it, but in reality all that happens in the news isn't new (least not in the grand scheme of things) so why watch the world on repeat and get upset when it won't change anything when I could instead learn lessons from it.
Often the news is biased. It gives some facts but other things reflect what the country should be thinking by the countries media. Your way of dealing with this is actually right . Thinking your own thoughts is healthy.
Oh my God, thank you. Every video on men's mental health I've seen recently is either a 20 year old guy saying that you should just man up or the same 20 year old guy saying that everything will be better if you just go to the gym. Thank you for giving the youth wisdom that won't just help to hurt us
Go to the gym, you type like a r*dditor
hit the gym. do hard work. stay smart too. just NEVER compare urself to others and always look to progress for yourself n loved ones.
@@ubaldoh1299never compare yourself to people who lie about who they are. That is a definite truth.
I watch a ton of UA-cam videos and I have a strict no comment policy that I'm breaking now to say that this is an excellent video. Like you, I have several decades in the fitness culture, starting from being influenced by comic and action heroes of the 80s, to growing up and doing strength and conditioning coaching and personal training for my career. I want you to know that I'm sharing this video with as many of my clients and friends as possible. Somewhat for the physical culture education, but mostly because of the excellent life advice you gave here. Well done.
well you are absolute right. Instagram models just pushed me in past into body dismorphia, eating disorders and depression luckily i stay away from steroids and get rid of social media.
Currently listening to this while punishing myself in the gym to get 19 inch arms. Why? No idea anymore. Training has gone from health and fitness to being hard on myself about nonsense.
I try to do enough to not die at 50 but being to serious in psychical training when I'm just a typical Joe not an athlete isn't worth the effort
Don't lie. Everyone knows you lift because you want to be able to squish fruits
Just try and have some fun while testing the limita of your body. Progress is only really tracked when compared to yourself. Forget other people and have fun!
Muscle damage causes hormones and endorphins to be released that make you feel good. Its the body's way of mitigating the pain of physical exertion. Like a runners high.
@@TheSuperappelflap damn, maybe i have a brain tumor because working out has never once done what you described, lol.
The best I usually hope for is that I'm not so fatigued and beat down that I can still do other activities that day.
The thing is that science and scientist job is to find questions and then propose answers in a very specific context. It is never meant to be used as is or shared as is by people but to be contextualized. We have a science reporting issue. As for the rest, totally agree 💯
The part about anti-fragility really struck a chord with me. I used the concept about my prior mental issues growing up but hearing it verbaized like this is really helpful. I want to try applying this concept to myself more in the future
Funny that your muscular dad bod is what i want and started training SERIOUSLY, slowly, adding exercises to rutine every week some months ago. Now i know what they say that u only need to compare to yourself some years ago, and im hoping reaching 35 in some years in my peak, thanks to awesome ppl like you who put shit and boundaries into perspective.
Thank you.
42:07 onwards .... OMFGGGGGGGG!
The antifragility part with eustress really resonated with me because idk if you have any cameras in my apartment but that is EXACTLY what I've been thinking about the formula for how to strive in the modern world.
Stress is not bad, hell there are studies showing that people who view stress as more positive literally LIVE LONGER than those who don't. The stress to make yourself more antifragile is eustress, positive stress that MAKES US GROW. This needs to be applied to multiple domains and I love how at the end you broadly put it in three.
1. A community
2. Responsibility
3. Companionship
I usually say physically, socially, romantically, intellectually (which leads to financial), and psychologically (aka emotionally).
Phenomenal video Alex, love more videos like this!
There is a psychological effect, where people who are stressed, depressed, or otherwise unhappy will try to avoid the stressors. This on a mid to long term lowers your stress tolerance. i.e. you feel overwhelmed in some social settings, so you go out less, spend more time alone, and this lowers your treshold for feeling social anxiety.
The way to remedy this is exposure therapy, expose yourself to moderate amounts of stress you can handle. So instead of going to crowded bars and night clubs visit some less busy social hubs and slowly build up from there until you dont feel anxious in a crowded place. This takes time and effort.
200% agree on gradual exposure therapy. Do you know what that psychological effect is called friend? @@TheSuperappelflap
I remember when you used to be a channel about training and programming. This is next level, adding in philosophy, virtues, and current affairs in society. Now you stand out far above other strength channels. Subbed.
This is the type of content young men need, not social media tiktokers and fitness drama
this is exactly what I don't want this channel to become... Bromley teenage guru show...
I hesitated sincerely. But my audience is 98% men and the exploitative elements of the 'manosphere' get attention because they are a monopoly on the game. Lifting will still be a main feature but where I have something to say, I'm going to say it.
@AlexanderBromley thank you!
@@horseman3222he still puts out great lifting content, if this particular type of content isn't for you then just scroll on to the next one. I for one think it's awesome to see someone pivot successfully, I also think it's a much needed niche to show that us muscleheads can actually be smart, well educated and well versed on multiple other topics aside from lifting.
The remedy is simple: Cut out the “noise”, ignore what other people think, live your own life, be an adventurer, take risks, be a free spirit ❤
Bromley’s branching out is the best thing ever
Good job addressing this topic, men's body image issues does not exclude or negate women's body issues. They have their similarities and differences, but of course men's body dismorphia should be discussed.
The message in this video reminded me of my struggles as a child to now. I still find it strange that some people now believe I'm someone "who has his shit together". Some people have told me it was probably an easy path for me to achieve the level of "success" I currently have. Some have even said my "good looks" and "dedicated mindset" were definite tools that helped. It was strange for me to hear these things because these people have no idea of the chaotic path life put me on during my childhood to early adult life.
Incredible. Just an incredible video essay, friend!
That means a lot!
Growing up as a kid with not so great genetics, and consistently being the last pick in team sports, these "unrealistic expectations" were definitely a net positive. In my day, they were guys like Arnold, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, and all of the jacked comic book characters. I started lifting with the unwavering belief that I could look like Arnold one day! Of course that never happened, lol. But, that being said, I got way farther than I ever could have expected, having success in local bodybuilding competitions, powerlifting, and bjj. How does the saying go? "Shoot for the stars, end up on the moon..." Something like that? Still to this day, I find the high standards to the top achievers in the physical realm to be inspiring and motivating.
Regional or state champ?
God bless you, that’s most certainly what’s up.
I couldn't agree with this statement more. People can whine and complain all they want about how "society" and "media" are damaging them with these images. However, the interpretation of these signals is all up to the individual. I was in the same boat. I was skinny and unathletic. I see the larger-than-life celebrities and fictional characters as inspiration and an ideal that can't be reached . . . but a worthy goal to strive for. Like your "shoot for the stars" adage, here's another one: On the road to perfection, you might run into excellence. People need to take accountability and understand that, at the end of the day, they need to pull up their big-boy pants and do the work that's necessary. Blaming others for their own shortcomings or downfalls can only go so far.
As I told the kids I mentored over the years: "If you aim for the moon, you might not make it. If you aim for the stars, you might hit the moon." Always set your goal higher than you reasonably believe you can make: if you want to lose 10# by Christmas, eat and exercise like you want to lose 50#.
I think the main determinant of that is what you got out of it. The idea that you get out what you put in is a fallacy that really needs to die..
I also started out thinking I could get something good. Though I did know that Arnold and the like were on gear, so my goal was more along the lines of the Rock back in his WWE days, or Chris Hemsworth back in the first Thor movie......which I thought would be more achievable......but I spent the first few years spinning my gears and chronically overtrained because I convinced myself that I could achieve that, and that the harder I worked the more I would get back. So, I didn't grow at all. I got no results. "Shooting for the moon" landed me in the cold vacuum of space.
The section of "Can the bar be low enough?" was the most insightful part of the whole segment, and was very informative. Thanks for the video.
Sphincter training video next?
You can take Immodium if you have that problem.
Bump
This was a fantastic video- so many solid, nuanced takes here. I really appreciated your perspective as a female powerlifter in recovery from anorexia. Gained a new subscriber!
This is balanced, well thought out, and compassionate work. Looking forward to more in this series.
Balanced means you cater to certain groups. If you don't provoke the woke masses you do something wrong
I've been watching and liking your content for a while, and when i saw this video, as a woman, i was afraid to watch it because i didn't want to be let down. But you came correct for women and men, and i really appreciate it.
Why did you think you'd be let down? Men's issues don't detract from women's issues
Interesting. I think the fact you were prepared to be let down is an issue in itself. Anything regarding men's struggles is seen as toxic or misogynistic for some reason.
To reply to anyone confused as to why I was prepared to be let down: a lot of men will use this topic to detract from women's issues. The popular term for this phenomenon is "whataboutism".
A parallel with race is when white ppl say things like "all lives matter" or "what about the Irish" and what have you.
Again, thanks Bromley! You rock!
@@maksun66883 Frankly I see more men just trying to say that we have thes eproblems too, it' not exclusive to one group. As long as your not watching red pilled morons or whatever, most folks I've seen are trying to push the message that we all are struggling with these standards and issues. So we shouldn't fight over who suffers more and just try to help pull ourselves up out of the mess we are all collectively in
Bromley has become the dad we never had and I'm truly thankful for it. 😊
It is a weird thing.
What has helped me has, in fact, being neutral and accepting of how I look for basically most of my life. Even when I was at my heaviest.
I began exercising mostly for health, and because the concept that finally got pummeled into my mind was that being sedentary is bad, that moving is good. That binging just a few types of food is bad, that having more vegetables is good.
I still like being lazy, watch UA-cam, play video games, eat pizzas, burgers and all sorts of fried stuff with cheese.
The difference is that now I have chosen to introduce more variety in my daily meals, basically always including some vegetables for lunch and mostly going for white meats.
I work out formally only two hours per week, but since it's Taekwondo, something that I struggle with due to my weight and lack of flexibility, I have added a few short exercise routines to my daily schedule.
I have lost some weight in the past six months, and am getting thinner. My goal isn't to reach a certain weight, I've been lucky that even though I've been overweight for about a third of my life, I haven't had any health scares. My goal is simply to add movement into my life as a regular thing.
Since I really started to focus on healthy food and cooking for myself every day, living alone, I have lost my appetite for fried food almost completely. Kalamari, the fried octopus rings, still taste pretty good but I really cant eat fries anymore without feeling disgust.
And I gained a new appreciation for some stuff like lentils that I found horrible as a kid, I can actually make a few vegetarian dishes now that dont leave me craving a nice slab of meat afterward.
You're on the right track. That's how I often approached fitness and it helped me push past a lot while staying stable. Don't sleep on taking good walks and hiking if you can.
@@TheSuperappelflap after eating a lot healthier than I did growing up I can't even enjoy junk food like I used to anymore (still do just in moderation). I went to a buffet with my family for the first time in years and I was over it after one plate😂
Dude, you really are jewel in this space! I love that you are branching out towards that direction, and you did an absolutely incredible job for this one!
I'm sorry you are so hard on yourself. To me, you are a great athlete, an amazing educator, and a very sharp, wise, grounded, good-hearted person. That's rare and truly valuable.
Thank you for consistently producing great content! We want more of it!
Appreciate it! The bit at the end was supposed to be more... humorously self-deprecating than it came across. But the point is it doesn't enter into my mind space.
@@AlexanderBromley It was humorous alright. It didn't come across in a bad way. But it also felt honest. Anyway! You've done great, Alex! Keep it up!
So many quotable things in this video that are super meaningful and super necessary for people to hear - especially those in a low, but even those on a high so they can keep perspective. I dare say the title is too narrowly focused as it definitely hits a broader topic than just men dealing with body standards. As someone that's currently in low (and not even from body or physique distress), I can say this has definitely helped uplift me and I think I'll sleep better tonight as a result. I really appreciate everything said in this video.
I'm glad it helped my man. I know what it's like finding these little buoys of hope when it feels like you're in a big empty sea.
Thank you for volunteering to fix all issues brom brom
This video was a masterpiece. Many men (including myself) will greatly benefit from this.
Great video! Important to remember that for every 1 person who we see as an inspiration, there are 99 others who tried all the same things but didn't make it for X number of reasons. We only see the people at the top because they made it to the top. Most people are somewhere in the middle, and we aren't generally interested in or shown those people because they aren't exceptional. Training is a very personal thing and one should concentrate on doing the best they can do for oneself, not comparing to others.
Also important to mention that many of those X factors are completely out of your control, can occur randomly, and which one of those 100 people make it to the top has a significant luck factor involved even if they all do the exact same thing.
It is extremely difficult to touch on so many complex topics and still manage to find coherent talking point which doesn't sound like you're picking the subject matters just to prove your point.
Thank you for the solid essay, Bromley.
There is so much to unpack here, and the hard work it took to produce this is self evident. Great work!
30 years ago my old teaching mentor advised me to reject the toxic "self esteem culture" in public school systems. Our stance is that self esteem is earned by committing esteemable acts. Great vid, thanks. PS I didn't watch, just listened. Screens can be too much.
My earliest memories are being driven around circa 1992 while my mom played talk radio, like Dr. Laura. I had been thoroughly warned about the movement of self esteem before a teacher ever had a chance to bring it up; I'm inclined to think my self esteem is better for it.
Thats a great quote, I will try to remember that one
What is toxic self esteem culture? If it's what I think it is, then it's just an overcorrection from how frustratingly disrespectful people would be to each other (especially kids).
I tried to talk about this in a debate about body positivity and societal pressure to fit in, when I was a member of a feminist organization in my late teens in the early 2000. I got thrown out, and excluded for changing topics and destroying important debate. But 20 years later and it is slowly starting to become a topic in those sircles.
Honestly really appreciated this video. It always upset me when people would say that men didn’t have beauty standards like women did. Was difficult to deal with height, 6 pack abs, a body like these superhero’s on TV.
About 2 years ago I was very lean at around 170 pounds, 6'1. I dont know what my body fat percentage was but I do know that I barely didnt have shredded abs and it already hurt to walk. Went to my doctor, they said there was nothing wrong with my physically, so I exercised a bit less, gained a bit of weight, and now I have a bit of a gut but at least I can get around like a normal person.
In my opinion the aesthetics are never worth being in physical pain, but that is the reality for a bunch of those people on social media, and that is the best case scenario if theyre not also taking harmful substances to achieve that look.
Sounds a lot like there's a lot of responsibility on parents to talk to kids, being there for them, listening them and their problems (and joys), to guide them to a healthy self-esteem not only with words but with actions and example.
How I didn't see that one before...
To be honest, I think this video is an absolutely brilliant.
Yeah the point abiut plus-size models always struck me. They strictly adhere to EVERY conventional beauty standard except for one - and even the extra weight allowance is contingent on a very specific distribution pattern that retains a small waist-hip ratio. It makes the “F your beauty standards” meme such an absurd farce that it’s hard to not be cynical about it. Maybe it’s a small positive step, a crack in the foundation of unrealistic standards, but I know deep down that it was just a sanctimonious bad faith pop media trend
Yeah and it's not a criticism which you often hear, as the people against it focus on some pretense that it is somehow the downfall of society rather than a pretty obvious marketing gimmick.
@@Dracon7601 Honestly, it's kind of both. We're at terminal velocity rushing from gimmick to gimmick and trying to make it stick. If things weren't that bad, would we really need such measures?
@@ChucksSEADnDEAD I would disagree with that, business has always moved from gimmick to gimmick to sell products, it's why mascots are a thing. What is interesting is questioning the nature of the marketing we see and what it's implicitly saying. Something previously only advertisers and professors seemed to care about.
@@Dracon7601 But things didn't move as fast. "Use our product. It's good" worked for decades. "Use our product. It's the best" worked for a few decades too. Now it seems everything is a freaking psyops and at best it lasts 1-2 years.
@@ChucksSEADnDEAD I disagree use our product it's good was maybe valid for small businesses but the big evolution in advertising began around the 60s with DeBeers selling diamonds as a sign of love and required for marriage as well as other companies doing similar crap to sell products. It's more refined in theory today but the basis of the techniques has been around for ages.
Thank you for bringing up top tier body proportions and frame- most people rarely bring this up
Bromley, what a spectacular video. So many gems of wisdom and great insights on life and on training lifestyle. The part at 38:32 is so, so spot on: "The type of mindset that looks at excellence and immediately feels inadequacy is one that will feel inadequate no matter what is fed to them."
This is thoughtful, insightful, realistic and compassionate. One of the best pieces of content I have seen on UA-cam. Well done!
I just want to say this is outstanding. Top tier stuff. Excellently articulated a lot of the random jumbled thoughts I've had about the debates over 'the fitness industry' and 'unrealistic male body standards in recent years.
It shouldn't be a rarity to find someone with their heads screwed in right. Yet, here I am watching this video. Please continue to be the strong and gentle force the world needs.
I think shame has its place. Shame helped me go from 305 and horrifically out of shape to 215 in a year. I saw myself in a security camera footage playback... and I couldn't hide from how unhealthy I looked!
That's insanely impressive bro! Shame helped me lose weight as a chubby teenager as well 💪
Some people choose to cover their shame in insane amounts of pizza though....
@@HerculesFit now I'm 260 with a bit a little over my newbie gains and recomping back down.
Congrats man, that's phenomenal. I believe shame has it's place, but it's a machete, not a scalpel. I respond very positively to shame because I hold high standards for myself but ALSO believe I have a substantial amount of control over the outcome. Getting people to that second part is important before judgment or criticism can have a postiive effect.
I appreciate your intelligence and use of vocabulary mostly absent of crude and vulgar words. I am a mother to 4 young men. Thank you.
I gotta tell you, man, this might be the best thing I've seen on the Internet ever. It's intelligent, sensible, explained with patience and care, and speaks to most of us right where we are. I'm very glad I bumped into you today.
It is not about the destination but the road you take when it comes to working out. I enjoy the fact that I am able to get out of bed and do my daily exercises. I don't even have proper ABS and I only have a slightly above average body but I am happy with it. I am proud of my routine and I am happy for the fact that I can focus on bettering myself. (Yes, I don't use social media, and it has a huge impact on me.)
One of the BEST videos I’ve seen on the matters of men, masculinity, image and fitness. Bravo, man! More please!!
Great video, especially the end. Conveying that it doesn’t fix everything and that you’re not always alright is a big one. I have the same sense that lifting hasn’t magically protected me from me but it’s a huge positive that pushes me down the path that leads away from the edge instead of towards it. 👍🏽💪🏽
you are such a well spoken, well researched, and funny guy with a genuine goal of helping people, I appreciate you.
As a gay man, I think something that influences a lot the type of body and look we strive for, is the expectations of the people we want to sleep with have. Meaning, straight and gay women don't put much emphasis in the looks of their partners, at least not as much as both straight and gay men.
if you think women put less emphasis on looks than men, try dating them. it'll change your mind real quick.
In my experience, queer women are definitely shallow, even if they're more subtle about it than men.
I am a straight guy. I went from 134 kg to somewhat lean 95 kg. I have the chest, arms and shoulders. Legs are lacking somewhat, but no abs. I get looks from women when I go to the swimming pool. I have a reasonable diet. I heard the beautie standards for thd gays is insane.
Don’t worry, women are just as shallow as men-just in different ways.
🤡
A massive thank you for this video brother!! Your video has more wise information than 90% of whats on UA-cam
You sir, deserve all the credit
This is the best and most well researched breakdown of this subject I’ve seen on UA-cam 👏
what a video. an absolute awesome take coming from a 26 year old who couldnt articulate exactly how i felt about this subject. this was a fantastic video every man should watch.
That concept of antifragility is such a good complement to the concept of self care. We need both. Too much self care and you become soft and too susceptible to anything troubling. Too much stress is bad too. But also not enough of either is also bad.
There's new research being discussed about how our attitudes towards stress really affects whether it's detrimental or not. Very interesting.
We shouldn't be afraid to challenge ourselves and be uncomfortable.
Man, it's videos like this that make me realise how fortunate I've been. I'm lucky that my parents were so incredible that prepared me for all of this social media stuff, because when I look at these incredible feats, I just think "Ah, that's awesome! I'm not going to try that though. I like having my life balance.".
It's afforded me the mental capacity and fortitude to be the healthiest and happiest I've ever been while in my mid-30s.
Was really great to hear a deep dive into these issues from the other side, since they don't affect me at all. So thank you a ton, Alexander!
Just watched Karen Straughan's most popular video on why men are not marrying (highly recommend) I'm looking forward to this series. It's a huge issue in this modern world to try find meaning and purpose in a world where men don't have to do the things that only men could do and women could not
It’s just there’s a strong anti-family narrative out there. We need to promote the family more as it allows for a much more functioning society . A woman cannot raise a boy to be a man and a man cannot raise a girl to be a woman
What should we do i gave up brother i need help but only women and child get help we die alone always
I saw the video about strongman methods and mistook this channel for a bodybuilder channel. Which I'm only vaguely interested in. But you sir, have so much more to offer than the "typical bodybuilder channel" (if there was ever such a thing)... What I'm trying to say is. Your no bullshit approach and clear cut thoughts on societal tendencies, is engaging me in positive ways!
So even though we fall victim to the algorithms here and there, this was definitely a welcome breath of fresh air amidst all the attention hoarding out there. Thank you, new sub here.
Dude, Bromley. Your approach to video essays and the subjects you cover are all blended perfectly by your unique perspective. Thank you so much for sharing - I needed to hear all of this.
Loved this! Bromley the thoughtful lifter. Not just programs and technique. But getting deep under the skin of being human. Thank you!
You've really impressed with this video, I didn't expect you to do so well with a video essay with a different topic and approach then usual. You have immense potential in this field, you should pursue it further.
Thank you!
This video deserves more love! The stoic references were on point and everything you say hits hard!
Its not just women that have unrealistic standards for men. Other men also criticize you for being "soft", or "beta male". And ironically enough, a lot of the guys calling others that are very insecure, and feel the need to belittle others to feel better about themselves.
hoping someone would say this. the idea that men experience no social pressure to look/be/act a certain way is and only women socially pressure each other that way is patently absurd. Some of the absolute worst peer pressure I’ve seen has been in what men think a “real man” should be like. The whole podcast bro thing is built on the fact that this happens, they wouldn’t be raking in the followers throwing money at them if this wasn’t the case.
What I've learned is that I shouldn't be comparing myself to others but comparing me to myself. Set goals that you think you can achieve not what someone else has achieved. Some people progress quicker or slower than others. Over time you'll kearn how to set achievable goals. Whether that's getting rid if a bad habit or keeping at a good habit.
Just wait till you are 35+ and hopefully an adult. Caring about how others do compared to you gets less and less important. I go to you guys for inspiration, but I only measure myself to my performance yesterday.
Why wait until 35? Stop caring about what others think at 15, I say. Do your own thing and leave those people behind you, if they wanted to understand you, they would.
@@TheSuperappelflapits way harder because your time is running away
This was one of the best things I’ve watched on UA-cam in a long long time. This deserves way more views than it will likely get.
Really well done. Please continue the series on men. God knows the world needs it now
What an awesome video! Structured, history, current influence, extremes and nuanced views used to build your points. More than excellent.
This is a pretty meta approach, talking about the underlying factors. In HS I was tall and skinny and if I ever saw a guy with bigger arms than me(80% of the population) I would get mad or depressed for a few hours. I'm 23 now and happy but not content with how I look. Idk how much of that was me putting on 40lbs of muscle and how much of it was me realizing I'm not built like a 5' 7" tank.
From my experience, the 40 pounds of muscle help a lot
This is the type of content men need to understand the underlying reasons of the way we feel. Great work, I hope you can keep making this kind of videos.
I fit the image of a slightly overweight man who feels useless and does nothing, but I've started to exercise, and I'm trying to get skills to help me in life. Now, my BMI is getting to a good parameter because I'm trying to eat healthy and exercise. In short, turning your life around is an action. If you want to be better, you have to take the steps, even if they're small.
really try to focus on the diet my man, weight loss is 80 percent diet
I'm exactly like you except I still do nothing even though I had a heart attack at 36 years old.
Bruh how should i do that i am really fat 😂 men women and this world hate normal men maybe i want leave this place but i don’t want one of 400 k suicidal person heh
Yea, as useless as I feel I am, it feels good to take care of my body, my house, and to work to support myself.
What a great clip! So informative, humbling, inspirational, honest and altogether professionally done...One of the best " influencer- clips" to date!
Thanks bro, love this. I joined kickboxing not long ago (after being in the gym for a while), and it put me in this weird paradox where my strength and speed are increasing like crazy, but my actual muscle mass is decreasing. The Greek God physique is wildly unrelated to actual strength and power.
This video is dope af. Instant classic. Something I could share with everyone from my kids (when they're a little), peers, to my 80 year old parents. 🔥🔥🔥
Real talk of the decade.
Much respect! Very transparent and honest with yourself and your audience.
how the fuck is this nuanced masterpiece coming from a channel I associate with physique reviews. nice job ma man
Deleting social media 3.5 years ago (UA-cam and LinkedIn are the only places I have with a profile) was the best decision I made since turning 30. Mental health is better and I’ve cut the noise of acquaintances and those that don’t matter to friends and family that still reach out directly.
You don’t need 200 “friends”. Realizing that seems to be a new step in self-actualization for the digital generations.
I care not if the standards are unrealistic. I WILL achieve them or die trying. I cannot stop
Problem is - you won't. Lol.
This is some high caliber discussion. I already knew you could philosophize with the best of em, but this is probably your magnum opus, in my opinion. I'm excited to share this with friends and family, independent of their relationship with fitness. Seriously man, great work. Inspiring.
I do similar work as you, and right now, all I can say is that you are gifted with your dense knowledge. Your video should be watched numerous times in order to fully grasp everything in your descriptions.
I think the obsession with celebrity steroid cycles stems from general male insecurity. The same people who insist The Rock needs to come clean so that kids don’t get mislead probably wouldn’t tell Johnny Depp to tell the kids he visits in hospitals that he’s gotta be drunk and smacked up on booger sugar to play Jack Sparrow and brighten their day.
If The Rock detailed all the hard work, diet and discipline that goes into his physique, then even just briefly mentioned testosterone, everyone damn well knows a teenage kid isn’t gonna remember a single other thing he said.
That's not why he keeps quiet. He does to maintain the false clean cut Hollywood brand
This is straight up one of, IF NOT, the best video I have ever watched in my whole entire life, instantly subscribed and turned on notifications.
Thank you for taking the time and work to produce this masterpiece mate
I just want my 3 boys to grow up to be what they want to be, not what they feel like they should be because of their societal norms.
Damn man, you are on a roll. You are one of the few content creators that I feel got into it not because of some intrinsic narcissism or potential for monetary gain but truly with good intentions at heart.
While I'm gonna continue the video, the "guys and eating disorders" thing is a tricky one. Guys are generally not as well diagnosed for anything as women, and lots of behavior which is frowned upon for women is praised for men.
Ex: 'Jimmy is cutting weight for wrestling this year. He'll have to lose 20 lbs in the next 4 weeks. We should do everything we can as parents to help make weight.'
V. '
I think Suzy lost 15 lbs this month. A lot of her clothes seem looser on her. I hope she's not going through a crisis. We should do everything as parents to stop her from starving herself anymore.'
You can say Jimmy was pursuing a goal and Suzy wasn't, but I bet Suzy had some motivating factor in mind, even if it's just to impress someone or fit into a dress that's motivation. It's just as valid as trying to be the 5th best athlete at a regional district quarter finals match.
this is a bad example. jimmy knowes, that he is doing something temporary and nereds to regain the weight or loose strength. Suzy has no clear goal and just wants to be super skinny propabaly regaining the weight getting depressed dieting again and going into an anorexic downward spiral.
@@michaelbentz1548 you're doing exactly the thing that I mentioned in the beginning and emphasized in the end. You're saying the boy's reason is good, healthy, and temporary while the girl's is vague, unhealthy, and lifelong. There's really no indication that that's true. Their motivations are just different, not inherently higher or lower in value.
i agree, both are equally as valid especially considering women are given more status if society considers them beautiful. subconscious observations are powerful and (mostly) rational.
harm reduction is probably the optimal response to both, rather than pathologizing reasonable responses to observed social norms while placing the blame on the individual. along with critical discussion on the purpose of the norms themselves of course.
@@drewe51 There is every indication that it's true, you're just pretending there isn't. You are fully ignoring the context YOU PROVIDED. The fuck are you even trying to say, dude?
This is a straight up terrible example what are you talking about 💀
So much wisdom in this post. Taken me a while to get around to it - because not interested in "body image". But this message is so much more profound than that. The distorted reality of social media is destructive in many ways. Well done Alex 👏👏👏
I love that you address that competence, confidence, and grit are things that are inherently attractive to most people, but women in particular seek out these traits. The "nice guy vs Chads" concept is largely trash and it is because you can find people like Alexander and myself who aren't classically handsome men in the way many of the A-list celebrities are, but we do/did fine with women. So much of the despair I see is purely in perception. It's as if all of us feel lonely, ugly, and rejected, wanting some kind of care or companionship but the acknowledgement of that is somehow beyond reproach. I don't think most women are only willing to date a guy who is 6'5", jacked like the Rock, makes at least $200k/yr, and owns multiple homes. The women who was stupidly willing to say that on record are both outliers and permanently single. And the same goes for men who think they're only going to date perfect looking Czech supermodels. Most of us, I believe, want someone we consider attractive and who generally contribute positively to the qualify of our lives.
Thank you for making this. Insanely thorough and well-articulated. We need guys like you talking about these issues.
Holy shit. Forget fitness influencer, Bromley is punching way above his weight here - this is a thoroughly well done video!
Fuck Johnny Harris, let’s go Bromley!
Thank you for this, the though the research, the perspective. So refreshing!
Love how you’re doing these. I know it’s a fine line figuring out how far you can reasonable deviate from the standard lifting topics on this type of channel. (These videos and your and Israetel’s alternate channels generally have the same cool one-off foci.) I’m still at the start of the video (but too excited not to type), but my thoughts in the first 5 minutes are this. I think people generally have the right idea to focus on body positivity in a broad sense, but I think they’re putting the cart before the horse. For, they’re focusing on positivity in its own sake, since they are seeing how life is rough and people get beaten up over time and get down on themselves. This is a chicken and the egg thing. While I’m not particularly religious these days, I do think the old saying from church that, “Rather than asking God to give us easier tasks and to remove our burdens, we should be asking Him to give us the strength to bear these burdens,” reigns completely true. Making life easier for kids is handicapping them, making them less capable of dealing with things as an adult (now, a Denzel Washington quote from Remember the Titans is playing in my head, “You’re crippling them, coach. You’re crippling them for life [by swooping in and rescuing them from the various hardships they face on the team]”). I think they’ve got the right idea that something must be done, but let’s toughen them up in a healthy way so can rise to meet these social challenges rather than artificially making life easier. And how do we do that? Well, that’s the rub, isn’t it? That is going to require the greatest effort from us as adults and community mentors and teachers and coaches (I’m not a coach btw). Give them a task and a deadline. Set them up for success by giving them the tools. But hold them accountable for not completing the task to time and standard. Make them do extracurriculars, and your them in leadership positions. Let them learn the consequences of failure when the stakes aren’t so high.
Ok, rant over! Haha
Barbie wasn't designed by Mattel to be what they thought a woman should look like. She was designed that way so young girls could easily swap clothes. It's faster to dress a stick figure than a healthy shape. That meant selling more clothes for their Barbies. It's also why most models are skinny. It's easier for a quick change into your next outfit than if you have any kind of a healthy physique.
Love these kind of vids, great to hear a more nuanced take.
finally a fitness influencer with a good, down to earth, reasonable take. you deserve so much more attention.