Why I go on Vacation when I have a Memory Disorder
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
- Some days having a memory disorder isn't a big deal, when you live in the present it's a good thing, right? But some days it really hits me hard that I can't relive special moments that I experience previously.
This is not a medical channel, I am not giving out medical advice, just my personal experience. And everyone with these neurodivergencies will have their own unique experiences.
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I love to travel because it helps me to learn, understand myself and give me self-esteem boost.. I think my spatial memories helps me out to remember stuff.. because I do know I have done and I know almost of the facts it is just not visual or sensory (feel, see, smell, touch and emotions).
That's cool you have a way to have more memories of your vacations. Photos help me, but again, I don't remember the experience just that I know I did it.
Thanks so much for recording this. I also have SDAM and aphantasia and it's wonderful, if painful, to have my experience mirrored so accurately. I find the experience of not being able to join in when people want to discuss a past shared experience very painful socially. I also have a lot of grief about not being able to remember my kids' childhood. When my young adult daughter asked me for stories of her when she was little, I could offer her nothing. It's a very weird and specific loss and, as you say in your opening, hard for others to imagine
I'm so glad I journaled the first couple years of my kids life, but yeah, it's not the same. 😔
I relate to your experiences. I was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD in January. I have always said I have a “bad memory” and it frustrates my family. My mom who is 73 has WAY better memory for things than I do at 47. I journal to document. I have so many days gone back to remind myself that I’ve been a good mom. I think my husband is weary though of all of these issues and this would be just one more thing.
I understand that about your husband. Unfortunately, many of us with one neurodivergency have others.
THANKYOU for this video!!! I have (self diagnosed but with 99% confidence) Aphantasia and SDAM, and am in the process of trying to get an ADD diagnosis. Seems the three are often closely linked? This video is now saved in a playlist and I will use it to explain more wonderfully than I ever could what SDAM is such a cause of sadness for people like us. I have now subscribed as your insights are really helpful.
I'm medically diagnosed Autistic and ADHD, but self diagnosed aphantasia and SDAM because those aren't in diagnostic manuals yet. Good luck with the ADHD diagnosis! (ADD is now called ADHD, it's now listed as inattentive, hyperactive or both.) So I'm ADHD, inattentive type. 😊
Oh my gosh, I have always worried that something was wrong with me. I so identify with this! I'm putting things together after a son and grandson have ASD. I relate to this so much.
Well SDAM is a separate diagnosis with Autism. A lot of people with Autism have excellent memories. But a lot of people with one neurodivergency do have more than one.
So great you are still going on vacations and enjoying yourself ❤ I feel this things force us to live our lives more in the present and enjoy things in the moment more than other people can do! I have aphantasia, but I dont have the oyher memory problems you mentioned 😊 but still I do feel photos, journaling and scrapbooking helps me remember things better! Its like my memories are stored in my mind and when I see a photo I start remembering many more things that happened that if I lm just told to think about it without the photos or journaled words ❤❤❤
I wish I could do that with photos. But it just doesn't work that way in my mind.
I've commented more on Facebook. I'm low on the spectrum, but very much share your experience. I agree it is hard to explain to others. I'm at ease with how I am.
Most days im absolutely happy with who I am and how my brain works, but I do see that sometimes people get upset when I can't remember something and that does make me feel bad, even when I don't have control over it. Thank you for taking the time to comment, it means a lot to me!
Thanks!
Thank you for the Special Thanks! Wow! You are so kind. I really appreciate it. 😊😊
I know everyone is different, so this isn't me saying "Hey, this will work for you because...." I'm only sharing my experience with similar memory problems... I think of mine, much like a recall issue.
Because my memory is fine to a degree. I can't draw up the images being aphantasia, and I can't tell you if something happened earlier this morning, yesterday, or a week ago - in most cases. But, if I see a picture or hear someone else start reliving the memory out loud, I will "recall" bits and pieces. And the more emotional the event/memory, the more bits I'll recall.
So, when I think of my husband and I meeting, 25 years ago... I can "recall" the fine details, but only ones that are strong around emotions and only bits and pieces, and only as silent thoughts - unless I start speaking. Often, if I start talking about what I recall of the memory, I'll start remembering bits and pieces more and more. But, what I remember of the memories today most likely won't be what I remember of the memories tomorrow.
It odd, too, because there was a day that my husband and our sons went to a museum in town. They took pictures, had dinner, because I finally got it through my family's heads that pictures are how I have memories. So, all day, they shared pictures with me and when my husband got home and we were looking at the pictures and he was telling me of the day, it was "almost like" I was there, too. But, I feel like that is only because of my creative nature (aspiring author) and ability to emphasize (very emphatic person) and imagine - in my imagination (an entirely different thing then pictures in my mind). But, the feeling from looking at their pictures and pictures of events I've actually went too are no different in my recalling of my memories.
Sometimes when I start talking about something some facts about the situation will pop up. It's still not a first person memory of the event.
Funny you mention something about photos. I talk about that in the video I plan on posting tomorrow! 😊
Unfortunately yes If I understand you correctly. I am at 52 going senile...Added with the autism and ADHD I am going down fast.
Do you have Aphantasia too? Are we neurodivergent twinnsies? I'm autistic, ADHD, SDAM and Aphantasia. Lol! I mostly just am fascinated about how different all our brains are from each other.
@@i.am.mindblind I Am Pathological Demand Avoidant. Yes when I see you I see a beautiful mess much like myself!
I read a book by a person who had never experienced depth perception, probably caused by misalignment between her eyes. She was told that this ability probably had a critical period of development, and so, would never experience this brain function, even after her eye alignment was corrected, surgically. And this appeared to be the case. But she found out about a particular eye exercise involving a piece of string with a sliding bead that she held one end to her nose and extended the string with the other hand. After working with this exercise aid for a while, with no apparent effect, she got in her car and was shocked to see the steering wheel sticking out from the dashboard, hovering over her lap, and depth perception snapped on. Her brain had all the machinery available, all her life, but had never been activated. I wonder if autobiographical memory might be somewhat similar and the activation trigger is findable. (Fixing My Gaze:A Scientist's Journey Into Seeing in Three Dimensions, by Susan R. Barry)
Who knows. It is still being studied by researchers right now. Although it's been a while since I've read any new findings. I did read a fairly recent article that linked SDAM with Aphantasia in 51% of the cases. I wish I had bookmarked it because I can't find it now.
Also, it's kind of one of those things that would be really jarring if all my memory came back. I've my entire life as far as I know without having an Autobiographical Memory. If suddenly I could remember all or most of the events of my life I think the experience would be beyond overwhelming. I can't even imagine it happening. Maybe I'd want it, but I don't know. It'd be a fundamental shift in my reality.
@@i.am.mindblind If some process or treatment caused you to suddenly have access to memories of your entire life, I can't imagine what that experience would be, for you. But for most people with typical autobiographical memory, it is not a constant flood that washes over them, but more like access to a library or a personal Google search that they can call upon when desired.
I am the same.
❤️
Sorry, if this is boring or offensive. I am an engineer and I explore unknowns (including how your mind works) differently than many other people. I'm also an experimentalist. I wonder how your mind would react if we equipped you with a 3D camera that captured very close to a first person view of something new you were exposed to and were reacting to. And, then a day later, a week later, etc., you wore virtual reality goggles and replayed that recording. I wonder if after several replays more permanent experiential memories would become available to you. I would not be at all surprised if you are recording memories, but your conscious mind is missing the access command to get to them.
I don't find you boring or offensive. You pose thoughtful questions. I don't always have answers but try my best to explain how my mind works.