This is absolutely true! My ex husband fawked up my life about 15 years ago. I don’t date or interact with males much anymore, but no one else will ever get close to me or be in personal space again. You most definitely can’t come over or know where I stay. I’ll never trust anyone else to that degree again.
When the OP talked about some women not having degrees because of a man, that reminded me of Rachel Frederickson, who won season 15 of the "Biggest Loser," that competitive weight loss show. On the show she said that she had been a competitive swimmer in high school. She was so good that she was a 3-time state champion. She got a lot of scholarship offers from colleges to swim for their schools, but this girl passed on college altogether to go backpacking in Europe with her boyfriend; because she didn't want to be away from him🤦🏽♀ And no the relationship did not last. After they broke up she ate a lot to console herself and gained a lot of weight; which is why she ended up on the "Biggest Loser". She could have gotten a fully paid-for college education AND competed to get on the Olympics team and possibly won an Olympic medal; but she skipped ALL of those possibilities for a damn dude. After the show she said she was taking college classes, so I was glad to hear that she did eventually go to college. But I shake my head at how far back she set herself - possibly missing out on being an Olympic swimmer - just for a boyfriend.
There's plenty of personal responsibility to go around, but ultimately, I blame society for teaching girls from a young age that they're worthless without a man.
Tons of women let men get them pregnant before they go off to college or during 😅 At the end of the day that's her dum as fault 😅giving up 100k scholarships 4 boys😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
The fact that a woman was killed for saying "no" to a man's offer for a date, the fact that a man can murder his whole family with no warning, etc makes me not want to date at all. This isn't all men, but I know many women who are unhappy in relationships but won't let it go because they want a man. You have to be really careful who you get into a relationship with...I feel like there should be a renewal period, just like getting your license where you check in and see if you still want to be together, save yourselves the time and heartache.
not only that, but when they do murder women or even their whole families there will always be men making excuses for him and making him the victim somehow. those types of men deserve far worse than just loneliness imo
It's really sad that I've come across men that have tried to ruin me, and hurt me purposely. Plus what's even crazier, is they get mad that you won't let them do it.
My dad made it clear that I was going to get an education or trade skill that made money . He also didn’t allow me to ask my BF at the time for money. He told me if I need money to ask HIM . Also said never have more kids that I alone can provide for , if needed. I’m glad I listened. I have a career that pays 100k a year and I don’t really need a man for my survival. I can take care of myself and leave a relationship with no issues with providing for myself. Dad said “ a man will love you on Friday and have a new woman and taking care of her kids by Monday.
That lady with the storytime about her classmate who was not able to apply to nursing school bc she placed her man above her education really said a word!!
The thing is, we see it every day. It's just no longer tolerable, but the media *LOVE* a broken woman. A woman who lost everything for love. Books, movies, songs ect, female pain is very glamourised and is still very much praised.
I was going to school and then my mom passed away and I was planning on going back and then I meet my so-called love of my life. My mom thought I made a great nurse and I wanted to do one better and become a doctor. Either neurologist or cardiologist because heart disease runs in my family and my mom passed away from having strokes. Anyway, I meet this man, who turned out to be a major narcissist but I thought I was in love. He was telling me everything I wanted to her, just love bombing the heck out of me. He ended up getting another woman pregnant while still wanting to or at least telling me that he wanted to be with me and marry me. I never married him and I just ended up changing my number and distancing myself from him. I feel like I wasted my good years on a man who probably never really loved me. I just keep thinking about the life I could have had if I would have stayed with school.
Go back to school if you can. I didn't get my Associates til my mid 30s (I'm 42) - I don't have enough money for a 4yr, but no one can take my History degree away from me. :) edit: Look into a Pell Grant if you haven't already and think you may qualify that's how I got my Associates. It won't cover everything for a 4yr degree, but it'll cover a nice chunk of it.
@@silververnallbells191 Congratulations on your history degree. I'm definitely looking into going back to school and looking at different options for funding it.
Facts, I dropped a jealous BF in college and a competitive BF in grad school! Best decisions that I ever made! I graduated and met my goals bc I let them go!😒😏😒😏
When I left my relationship I got my Masters degree. I knew I wasnt going to get that far with my ex who had difficulty reading and writing. I also have difficulty reading and writing but I have a Masters in psychology
I feel like every woman who has decentered men know this very well and even those who still center men...they know it. They choose to be delulu about it 🤷🏾♀️
What gets me is how much time some women will waste on a man. It's quite disproportionate to the amount of time a man will waste (without having something on the side). Women so, so often will say they were with a man for 8 years+ who didn't even like, let alone love, them. Like, that's just terrible economy of time! Our lives are mad short. Are y'all getting an extra life upgrade or something?
Sadly this applies to men in the family too my brothers caused a lot of abuse and trauma on me. My pick me mom always blamed me or expected me to endure it because they are “family”.
The favoritism and look the other way shown to male members of a family needs to be spoken about. My brother was disgusting to women, including myself. He treated them like trash and my mom just smiled and waved.
Excellent point from the lady in yellow top. We should learn from men to put ourselves first. They are the best teachers of this method of self care, and I'm all for it. Men can be selfish and self-centered if they want. Fine, honestly, they should go for it. And you know what? SO SHOULD WOMEN! And not a second of feeling guilty about it. If there is a man who improves your life, go for it. If he's a drag on you that holds you back, abuses you, doesn't think you should have any rights or freedom, then he is an anchor who will sink your life below the depths!
I 100% agree that a man can destroy your life, however when you work on yourself, you become self actualized and are able to keep life ruiners at bay. If men keep coming into your life and ruining it, it’s time to asses the common denominator, being yourself 🤷🏾♀️
If you're doing a "situationship," you're an entire fool. Argue with your mama. You're hustling backwards and you know it, and hollering at me won't change that. Be ridiculous if you want, but you won't get any sympathy here because I KNOW we can do better!
Guys I have a situationship but I barely barely link with him cause my life is whole. I always tell him when I go out on dates and how it goes with different men. He knows my life is very fulfilled. You have to have a back bone and high self esteem!!!!!!
When I think about all the things I went through on my way to completion of my degrees, all I can do is thank God 🙏🏽. I saw this on another channel, and it really has me reflecting.
My bestfriend and I talk about this all the time. During Grad school I was a full-time student, did two internships in two different cities, and worked 3 part-time jobs. I would have to come home to an empty fridge, no cooked food, and a filthy house. During this whole time I was with a man who barely worked, would not cook or clean, and had the audacity to talk ish about me growing up in a single parent home (although my my father was in my life) because HE grew up in a two parent household. He would talk mess about me growing up in the city as he was somewhat of a country/rural area kid. I received 2 degrees during our relationship and of course always made more money than him. He would try to belittle me, break stuff around the house, and tried to get me pregnant. The ish was wild but he didn't stop a damn thing. When we officially broke up he got blocked for good. Good luck to his current girlfriend/baby momma.
The girl who says that there are men who'll give you the fairytale life, I want sis to come back to me when she's in her 40s and/or 50s, heck maybe even 60s or 70s, and she'd better have sacrificed her all for her man her man her maaaaan.
I'm on the other side of this. I am 2 years out from my divorce. I had to work hard to regain what I had, pre marriage but ladies, you can do it. Remove that trash and go chase your dreams!
If you're not kind to yourself you will attract people who are not kind to you, whether it's friends or romantic. I'm not preaching here, but I'm in therapy and she pretty much told me this. Work on healing before getting with anyone.
@thatsdaniellelol with 2 kids at 45ages 13 to 9 no kids need stability. My ex would never allow me to take my kids out of state fathers' rights tied for life
This is why Sailor Moon and Shojo manga is dangerous. The message how the MC gives up everything for a man or sacrifices herself for a man. It is framed as romance when it is unrealistic and stupid
@@stephaniepantalonie They can't. I feel bad for his depiction in the manga a boy is traumatized he searches for the silver crystal, gets kissed by his future daighter twice, constant brainwashing cursed and close to near death , actually killed and resurected (and killed again)
This all could’ve been avoided for a lot of women if our mothers had put us on. It’s not like they didn’t know, and it’s not like this didn’t happen to them, so why didn’t they make this type of information a huge part of our upbringing?
Compromising before having a logical conversation is absurd to me. Which person's career is worth moving for and can withstand the other partner not working...then that's the career you both move for. It doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman's job. If college is your desire as a woman it should probably be done before having children or pursuing a relationship
Before that man destroyed your life didn't your mother, aunties, sisters, friends, tell you that he was no good? People who know you can see that you were acting brand new and told you, but instead of listening you thought they were hating on you. Am I wrong? Have someone ever told what was going to happen and you did not listen and exactly what that person said happened? I get it, when you are young you are going to make mistakes, just don't make the ones from which you cannot recover. History does not repeat itself but it rhymes, this is why it is important to listen to older folks when they try to pull your coat and drop some knowledge. I had the good sense to listen, it saved me from a lot of madness. Why make the mistake when someone else already made the mistake and I could learn from it? I know a lot of you don't respect your parents or grandparents, but believe me they are a library. All you got to do is go looking on the right shelf. What y'all thinking, you are the first women in history a man "trick-fucked" out of a future?
You do understand there are women who don’t actually have aunts, and their mother’s were no longer in their life, due to illness taking them away. We also won’t pretend as though some women aren’t looking out for your best interest. Now, with that stated, life pitfalls should cause you to keep course correcting, until you get to the point, this is no longer a problem, or not as much of a problem.
@@Gem-n-life I agree and to add to that; my family has A LOT of pick me women in it and whenever I asked them for relatinshiop advice they gave the WORST possible advice ever. I love them all dearly even tho we don't share the same beliefs, but I never talk to them about this stuff since their ideas of a relatinshiop and how it goes doesn't align at all with mines. My grandmother also told me tgat my great grandmother never talked about topics such as this with her. which sadly ended her up in a bad relationship that still haunts her to this day, but she rarely if ever speaks about it.
I agree and disagree, he/she did not ruin your life, the decisions you made ruined your life. There are people who are focused on their goals and will not allow anyone to derail them. You cannot blame the man/or woman for your mistakes. Own your mistake and change what you don't like and do what you want to do. Go back to school and get that degree/take community classes etc.
As a woman who actually HAS delayed and missed opportunities "for a man" when I was younger, I agree! No one has the power to ruin my life, except ME. My best advice (besides taking personal accountability for your life and choices) is for women to DO better as soon as they KNOW better, and leave after his FIRST Fck-up.
I’m thankful I managed to stay focused, despite them trying to prevent me from succeeding. I always knew there was somewhere I wanted to be, and I knew I couldn’t stop.
This goes both ways. But let me say this; watched a lot of women be warned about particular men and the women refused to listen still they went over the falls. Women that move to far away from their support system-meaning people in your life that can read the tea leaves when you are blind to what's going on. Women keep describing terrible people period. What's with all the bull nose rings. They are not attractive nor do they add to you. From a man.
"You can't do the wrong thing with the right person" love that
This is absolutely true! My ex husband fawked up my life about 15 years ago. I don’t date or interact with males much anymore, but no one else will ever get close to me or be in personal space again. You most definitely can’t come over or know where I stay. I’ll never trust anyone else to that degree again.
Same manipulation is real
I don't trust men anymore
I can really relate to this.
Sad! I am right there with you.
Peace! Peace! Peace! My home is my sanctuary, my holy of holies. Only the High Priestess is allowed.
@@SimplyHealthyWombYou better say that again!🌸🌹🌺
When the OP talked about some women not having degrees because of a man, that reminded me of Rachel Frederickson, who won season 15 of the "Biggest Loser," that competitive weight loss show. On the show she said that she had been a competitive swimmer in high school. She was so good that she was a 3-time state champion. She got a lot of scholarship offers from colleges to swim for their schools, but this girl passed on college altogether to go backpacking in Europe with her boyfriend; because she didn't want to be away from him🤦🏽♀ And no the relationship did not last. After they broke up she ate a lot to console herself and gained a lot of weight; which is why she ended up on the "Biggest Loser".
She could have gotten a fully paid-for college education AND competed to get on the Olympics team and possibly won an Olympic medal; but she skipped ALL of those possibilities for a damn dude. After the show she said she was taking college classes, so I was glad to hear that she did eventually go to college. But I shake my head at how far back she set herself - possibly missing out on being an Olympic swimmer - just for a boyfriend.
There's plenty of personal responsibility to go around, but ultimately, I blame society for teaching girls from a young age that they're worthless without a man.
Tons of women let men get them pregnant before they go off to college or during 😅 At the end of the day that's her dum as fault 😅giving up 100k scholarships 4 boys😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
The fact that a woman was killed for saying "no" to a man's offer for a date, the fact that a man can murder his whole family with no warning, etc makes me not want to date at all. This isn't all men, but I know many women who are unhappy in relationships but won't let it go because they want a man. You have to be really careful who you get into a relationship with...I feel like there should be a renewal period, just like getting your license where you check in and see if you still want to be together, save yourselves the time and heartache.
Yes ma'am considering women are taken off of this Earth from intimate partner violence, not random strangers. Hard pass!
ALL of this. 💯
not only that, but when they do murder women or even their whole families there will always be men making excuses for him and making him the victim somehow. those types of men deserve far worse than just loneliness imo
It's really sad that I've come across men that have tried to ruin me, and hurt me purposely. Plus what's even crazier, is they get mad that you won't let them do it.
Worse when it starts with yo dad and brothers...then other men wonder why you'll never trust them,even after family was trash since the beginning.
SAME 📌💯💯@@monejohn9973
THE LEVEL OF MALES ANGRY AT THESE VIDEOS OR WOMEN EXPOSING THEM & THEIR WEAK A** TACTICS IS HILARIOUS.
Y'ALL CAN KEEP BEING MAD. WE DO NOT CARE!!!
These males have a demonic hate for women speaking out to help each other
My dad made it clear that I was going to get an education or trade skill that made money .
He also didn’t allow me to ask my BF at the time for money. He told me if I need money to ask HIM .
Also said never have more kids that I alone can provide for , if needed.
I’m glad I listened. I have a career that pays 100k a year and I don’t really need a man for my survival. I can take care of myself and leave a relationship with no issues with providing for myself.
Dad said “ a man will love you on Friday and have a new woman and taking care of her kids by Monday.
My Dad said the same Exact words...lol. He instilled the same lessons and values in me.
I agree with all of that especially the part about "Don't have more children than you can provide for on your own."
@@PrimeDiva14 ❤️dads know how men operate lol
Baby, that last sentence, I have seen more than once.
@@lifelove6164 facts
That lady with the storytime about her classmate who was not able to apply to nursing school bc she placed her man above her education really said a word!!
The sad part is it's very common 🤦🏾♀️😒😑
The thing is, we see it every day. It's just no longer tolerable, but the media *LOVE* a broken woman. A woman who lost everything for love.
Books, movies, songs ect, female pain is very glamourised and is still very much praised.
That's true, especially when they keep treating happy women with disdain. Like why are you mad at happy women?
I was going to school and then my mom passed away and I was planning on going back and then I meet my so-called love of my life. My mom thought I made a great nurse and I wanted to do one better and become a doctor. Either neurologist or cardiologist because heart disease runs in my family and my mom passed away from having strokes. Anyway, I meet this man, who turned out to be a major narcissist but I thought I was in love. He was telling me everything I wanted to her, just love bombing the heck out of me. He ended up getting another woman pregnant while still wanting to or at least telling me that he wanted to be with me and marry me. I never married him and I just ended up changing my number and distancing myself from him. I feel like I wasted my good years on a man who probably never really loved me. I just keep thinking about the life I could have had if I would have stayed with school.
You can still go back to school. I'm 64 and contemplating law school. I already have my Bachelor's and my Master's degrees.
Go back! You’ll be a better doctor now cause you are mature with wisdom and we need sane doctors
Everything happens for a reason. You go back to school girl. You are definitely needed
Go back to school if you can. I didn't get my Associates til my mid 30s (I'm 42) - I don't have enough money for a 4yr, but no one can take my History degree away from me. :)
edit: Look into a Pell Grant if you haven't already and think you may qualify that's how I got my Associates. It won't cover everything for a 4yr degree, but it'll cover a nice chunk of it.
@@silververnallbells191 Congratulations on your history degree. I'm definitely looking into going back to school and looking at different options for funding it.
Facts, I dropped a jealous BF in college and a competitive BF in grad school! Best decisions that I ever made! I graduated and met my goals bc I let them go!😒😏😒😏
👏 👏 👏
When I left my relationship I got my Masters degree. I knew I wasnt going to get that far with my ex who had difficulty reading and writing. I also have difficulty reading and writing but I have a Masters in psychology
Good for you 🎉
I feel like every woman who has decentered men know this very well and even those who still center men...they know it. They choose to be delulu about it 🤷🏾♀️
When you decenter them they will now actually want you
What gets me is how much time some women will waste on a man. It's quite disproportionate to the amount of time a man will waste (without having something on the side). Women so, so often will say they were with a man for 8 years+ who didn't even like, let alone love, them. Like, that's just terrible economy of time! Our lives are mad short. Are y'all getting an extra life upgrade or something?
Compromising for a boyfriend is crazy to me
Sadly this applies to men in the family too my brothers caused a lot of abuse and trauma on me. My pick me mom always blamed me or expected me to endure it because they are “family”.
Ugh, the generational cycle of abuse keeps going. I’m sorry about what you went through, your mom should’ve stood up for you.
The favoritism and look the other way shown to male members of a family needs to be spoken about. My brother was disgusting to women, including myself. He treated them like trash and my mom just smiled and waved.
Excellent point from the lady in yellow top. We should learn from men to put ourselves first. They are the best teachers of this method of self care, and I'm all for it. Men can be selfish and self-centered if they want. Fine, honestly, they should go for it. And you know what? SO SHOULD WOMEN! And not a second of feeling guilty about it. If there is a man who improves your life, go for it. If he's a drag on you that holds you back, abuses you, doesn't think you should have any rights or freedom, then he is an anchor who will sink your life below the depths!
I was soooo stupid when I let my homeless ex move into my brand new apartment. 😒
Men do not move in with women period!!!
I 100% agree that a man can destroy your life, however when you work on yourself, you become self actualized and are able to keep life ruiners at bay. If men keep coming into your life and ruining it, it’s time to asses the common denominator, being yourself 🤷🏾♀️
If you're doing a "situationship," you're an entire fool. Argue with your mama. You're hustling backwards and you know it, and hollering at me won't change that. Be ridiculous if you want, but you won't get any sympathy here because I KNOW we can do better!
THANK YOU! I feel like most women just love pain like they're addicted to it.
Guys I have a situationship but I barely barely link with him cause my life is whole. I always tell him when I go out on dates and how it goes with different men. He knows my life is very fulfilled. You have to have a back bone and high self esteem!!!!!!
I bet over 30% of girls dropped out of college, b/c they were with child . # zero bf # no new baby 😅🎉
When I think about all the things I went through on my way to completion of my degrees, all I can do is thank God 🙏🏽. I saw this on another channel, and it really has me reflecting.
The Divine Feminine is coming Back
My bestfriend and I talk about this all the time. During Grad school I was a full-time student, did two internships in two different cities, and worked 3 part-time jobs. I would have to come home to an empty fridge, no cooked food, and a filthy house. During this whole time I was with a man who barely worked, would not cook or clean, and had the audacity to talk ish about me growing up in a single parent home (although my my father was in my life) because HE grew up in a two parent household. He would talk mess about me growing up in the city as he was somewhat of a country/rural area kid. I received 2 degrees during our relationship and of course always made more money than him. He would try to belittle me, break stuff around the house, and tried to get me pregnant. The ish was wild but he didn't stop a damn thing. When we officially broke up he got blocked for good. Good luck to his current girlfriend/baby momma.
The girl who says that there are men who'll give you the fairytale life, I want sis to come back to me when she's in her 40s and/or 50s, heck maybe even 60s or 70s, and she'd better have sacrificed her all for her man her man her maaaaan.
Yeah she doesn’t know. Too young. Not enough experience.
I choose me! Each and every time.😘
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🥰
This is true and relatable.
I'm on the other side of this. I am 2 years out from my divorce. I had to work hard to regain what I had, pre marriage but ladies, you can do it. Remove that trash and go chase your dreams!
If you're not kind to yourself you will attract people who are not kind to you, whether it's friends or romantic. I'm not preaching here, but I'm in therapy and she pretty much told me this. Work on healing before getting with anyone.
Iwanted to be an embassador. I got married worst decision ever. I changes my profession
Can you still do it if you want?
Genuine question
@thatsdaniellelol with 2 kids at 45ages 13 to 9 no kids need stability. My ex would never allow me to take my kids out of state fathers' rights tied for life
This is why Sailor Moon and Shojo manga is dangerous. The message how the MC gives up everything for a man or sacrifices herself for a man. It is framed as romance when it is unrealistic and stupid
Girl say THAT cos I still hope Tuxedo Mask is real but I won't delulu myself into thinking a dusty can "become" Tuxedo Mask
@@stephaniepantalonie They can't. I feel bad for his depiction in the manga a boy is traumatized he searches for the silver crystal, gets kissed by his future daighter twice, constant brainwashing cursed and close to near death , actually killed and resurected (and killed again)
This was a good one!
This all could’ve been avoided for a lot of women if our mothers had put us on. It’s not like they didn’t know, and it’s not like this didn’t happen to them, so why didn’t they make this type of information a huge part of our upbringing?
4B is the only way to go!
Didn't let them
Fact fact fact fact
I ain’t dating nobody why would I when I have me, I can be my own date. I’ll be that one guy making out with his reflection in the mirror. Lol 😂😂
3:42 is she making this while driving??
Agreed 💯 but a woman can easily ruin a man’s life too
Stop speaking for men
Compromising before having a logical conversation is absurd to me. Which person's career is worth moving for and can withstand the other partner not working...then that's the career you both move for. It doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman's job. If college is your desire as a woman it should probably be done before having children or pursuing a relationship
Totally true
💯💪🏾👑🥰
Before that man destroyed your life didn't your mother, aunties, sisters, friends, tell you that he was no good?
People who know you can see that you were acting brand new and told you, but instead of listening you thought they were hating on you. Am I wrong?
Have someone ever told what was going to happen and you did not listen and exactly what that person said happened?
I get it, when you are young you are going to make mistakes, just don't make the ones from which you cannot recover. History does not repeat itself but it rhymes, this is why it is important to listen to older folks when they try to pull your coat and drop some knowledge.
I had the good sense to listen, it saved me from a lot of madness. Why make the mistake when someone else already made the mistake and I could learn from it?
I know a lot of you don't respect your parents or grandparents, but believe me they are a library. All you got to do is go looking on the right shelf.
What y'all thinking, you are the first women in history a man "trick-fucked" out of a future?
You do understand there are women who don’t actually have aunts, and their mother’s were no longer in their life, due to illness taking them away. We also won’t pretend as though some women aren’t looking out for your best interest. Now, with that stated, life pitfalls should cause you to keep course correcting, until you get to the point, this is no longer a problem, or not as much of a problem.
@@Gem-n-life I agree and to add to that; my family has A LOT of pick me women in it and whenever I asked them for relatinshiop advice they gave the WORST possible advice ever. I love them all dearly even tho we don't share the same beliefs, but I never talk to them about this stuff since their ideas of a relatinshiop and how it goes doesn't align at all with mines. My grandmother also told me tgat my great grandmother never talked about topics such as this with her. which sadly ended her up in a bad relationship that still haunts her to this day, but she rarely if ever speaks about it.
Not when your mom is narc, it doesn't work that way.
I agree and disagree, he/she did not ruin your life, the decisions you made ruined your life. There are people who are focused on their goals and will not allow anyone to derail them. You cannot blame the man/or woman for your mistakes. Own your mistake and change what you don't like and do what you want to do. Go back to school and get that degree/take community classes etc.
Yes but we’re talking about men’s portion
You do realize that a lot of men are manipulators and pretend to be someone their not
As a woman who actually HAS delayed and missed opportunities "for a man" when I was younger, I agree! No one has the power to ruin my life, except ME. My best advice (besides taking personal accountability for your life and choices) is for women to DO better as soon as they KNOW better, and leave after his FIRST Fck-up.
I’m thankful I managed to stay focused, despite them trying to prevent me from succeeding. I always knew there was somewhere I wanted to be, and I knew I couldn’t stop.
@@Aniexo_yeah they are just trying to be controversial
❤❤❤
I say again are you married?
This goes both ways. But let me say this; watched a lot of women be warned about particular men and the women refused to listen still they went over the falls. Women that move to far away from their support system-meaning people in your life that can read the tea leaves when you are blind to what's going on. Women keep describing terrible people period. What's with all the bull nose rings. They are not attractive nor do they add to you. From a man.