A guide to making friends.
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2020
- I hope this helps someone out there. Friendships are something that I think about a lot, I have a lot of thoughts n' feelings to share, and I want to hear your thoughts and feelings too!
In this video I talk about the complexities of friendships, why you might be struggling to make friends and what actions you can take to start creating more friendships in your life.
This video pairs really nicely with self love and self care work, which will absolutely help you to make friends. You can find a playlist of self love videos that I've created here - • Self Care + Self Love
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I think a lot of us 'hold back' in a way because we don't want to be annoying. And if both people think that way it's very unlikely that a friendship will form.
This is actually so true!
So true
I agree with you very much. I am single .I am looking for a serious love relationship
Would u like to be my friend 🥺 ?
@@TheLegend-rx8yu online friends arent consistent, trust me
It's sad that I now have how to make friends in my search history.
It's not sad. I am proud of you to look for ways to help yourself.
It's sad that my mom was the one to make me to search how to make friends.
u aint alone
I feel this..
@@gcreates8894 don't worry, your mother love you, and care about you
For me, I find the hardest part in making friends is putting yourself out there. It feels so vulnerable to be like, "Hey, I like you. You're cool. Let's be friends and coffee, maybe?" And then put the ball in their court and they have to decide if they like you too. And we are so self-centered beings sometimes that I start thinking, "They should ask ME out to coffee." And that never ends well.
I need to work more on putting myself out there. That is a big step for me
Same I just always feel like that I can’t ask because maybe they will say no and might not want to go with me or something. I always expect people to ask me instead of the other way around. I really need to work on that if not then I won’t get anywhere
I'm introverted and bad at small talk. Noone likes rejection. I invited a girl from work (who is a friend on Facebook and we have gone out to eat once) to get together to talk more about first time homebuying as she just bought a duplex as a single mom. I congratulated her, I'm always positive and build woman up. She thanked me for congratulating her but ignored my invitation to go out. Never heard from her since. We had a great time the time we did go out, even though she mostly spoke about herself and about a guy she liked online. I'm a good friend and I don't get why its difficult to make friends.
I recently had a "break up" with a friend and honestly it felt worse than a romantic relationship breakup. It makes me sad that a friendship I valued wasn't seen the same by the other person.😥
Me too😥
I am deciding now whether I should cut it off with a friend. I have forgiven them too many times
I had this happen to me as well. It really hurts but in the end it's usually for the best.
Sending lots of love x
My best friend “broke up” with me around the same time my ex did. While both events were incredibly tough to process, getting over the lost friendship took me a lot longer.
I'm so sick of one-sided friendships. I'm always the person calling, texting, scheduling plans. Pretty sure if I stopped reaching out, I wouldn't hear from any of the so-called 'friends' in my life. I deserve better. I deserve friends who will actually reach out to ME.
@Krystal wanna be online friends?
@@marissa__nope Yeah sure,your socials?
I called them Fairweather friends
I want a friend toO
I know exactly how you feel. I'm in the same boat. But hey just keep at it and stay optimistic I guess is the best approach
This video is God Sent. I am currently struggling to make friends. And not just friends, I mean real, loyal, loving and caring, honest friends.
I feel so alone and could really use a trustworthy reliable real friends.
relatable
Hi Lolita🙋🏽♀️
I can be your friend
Same with me 🙁
Samee
My advice is: GO WHERE YOUR PEOPLE ARE!
In high school I had very few friends, I felt very anxious putting myself out there, afraid of judgment, etc.
That was because I felt everyone was different than me, we didn't share interests and goals and passions, and I really wasn't even interested in forming a friendship with them.
Now that I go to University, to study what is my biggest passion, I can put myself out there in the span of three days because I'm not afraid anymore and because I actually like a lot the people who are there!!! I love talking to them and hearing what they have to say, we just vibe. And of course, we all have in common our biggest passion!!! And a shared mindset.
If you love art, go take an art course. If you love photography go take a photography course. If you love sewing, go take a sewing course. If you are an athletic person try to meet people at your gym. If you love rock-climbing go to a wall-climbing gym and try to make friends there. Etcetera.
Making friends if you go to a club or a pub or whatever is far more difficult, as you'll find people of many different kinds, most of them will share no interest or passion with you. You have to restrict the circle and go to places where you already know you have at least one thing in common.
Just go where your people are.
thank you:)
Yes. I found a lot of good people through a band I like & fans will send each other gifts because it's a nice thing to do. A few of us did it at first & it inspired other people to do it as well, the generosity became infectious. But I will add a small warning to this: sometimes hobby friends are just that: only there when you're sharing the interest or passion you're both invested in. That's ok. Friends don't have to stretch across all aspects of your life.
@@44BlueFoxes Giving gifts to each other is such a nice and beautiful thing. Rn I'm really trying to implement it in my life.
I totally agree with the second part, too. That is just a handy way of finding new friends, but not a necessity. Never shun away opportunities because of that. Actually, my best friend is someone I share no major interest with, but we see the world eye to eye and we work so well together. The bad thing about that is that there's nothing you can do to find those people on purpose, you just have to go out there and hope you're lucky enough to find one.
My advice is: go to a place where everyone shares one interest with you, and try to find a person that shares TWO interests with you (so another one on top of the first one). But, in the meantime, keep your eyes open for opportunities, life may surprise you when you least expect it!! :D
This is literally me rn. I’m a senior in hs rn I feel like I cannot connect truly with anyone in my grade. I had a few friends through out high school (most have graduated now) and I am in need of new friendships. I feel lonely sometimes :/ and I wish I had a group of friends to go out and have fun with or even just to talk about the things that we’re all interested in.
Thank you for this! I am currently finding new friends for the upcoming semester.♡
this is seriously just what i needed right now, two of my best friends are moving away
Same! Just cut off my toxic friends, time to make new ones!!!
my best friend is moving too. it’s kinda scary.
Omg same
Both my best friends are moving. And I’m also moving, I’m gonna still be friends with them but I also need new ones
It's the opposite for me. I'm moving away from my best friends.😭
I feel I struggle to make friends because I'm quite shy and introverted. Also quite selective with the people I choose to be friends with.. big/loud personality types tend to put me right off
People who have big/loud personalities tend to be insecure inside. Just my personal experience. Give them a chance. Also not everyone can be loud 24/7. you don’t have to marry them but give them a chance and don’t label them. Maybe they are loud in certain situations and usually quiet
@@cheekycheeks2190 I'm well aware I don't have to marry them, or even be their best friend. Thanks for sharing your personal experience, however in mine, big or loud personality types tend to exhibit attention seeking behaviours (which is generally what puts me off). Im not saying they are bad or this is bad, it's just not what i vibe with.
@@M0r32Lyfe Girl same. I can't stand those behavioral types! I don't know why it irks me so much, but it does haha. I know you can't judge a person's entire being and personality on these traits/behaviours, but it is a big turn off for me. I just curl up inside and turn the other way. It might be because I don't like attention on myself and if I'm around a person and they act on that "loud" personality trait or act a certain way to cause attention on them, I'd shy away. I'd hate eyes on me and to feel like I'm under a microscope - that's just my personal opinion.
@@wonderlust1308 I 100% hands down agree with/can relate to everything you said. As soon as too much attention is on me I feel feel myself go bright red and my brain just freezes haha. Anyway, I guess even if I steer clear of 'loud' personality types, I guess I can see a place for them in this diverse society we live in :)
Yes, I’m very picky but I would like to have many acquaintances other than my close friends just so I’m never bored, you know?
I have always struggled to make friends. A few years ago I found I was the one always trying and going to these “friends” events and no one came to mine. So I let those few go. When I moved almost 2 years ago I decided I was going to put effort in to get out and meet people. But didn’t really work. Now I’m just at peace with myself and my family.
Only I hope you still opened into new people that maybe wanna come closer
Matías Aguilar sure I’m open to it but only if they actually want to put in the effort too. Not wasting my energy if not.
Just to say that I love your style ! And oh, it's kind of difficult for me too. I moved in Paris, I thought it would be easier to make friends, surprise ! It's not. People seem to be busy, arrogant, and make you feel like sh*t haha. Now I'm just focusing on myself. I never thought it would be so difficult, as a young adult, to make friends in a big city.
Aly Kidd thank you!🙂
I know I sorry it’s so hard for you but yes focus on you and everything will fall into place👌🏻 people will come into your life if they are meant you! 💛
@@alisonc6573 Hello I know sometimes Parisian can be weird but keep trying and if you are in a school try to speak to people or go to event and speak to people who are also alone there I hope this help
Also, don't be afraid to reconnect with old friends! If you think it's too late and they don't care about you, chances are, they are thinking that too and it's the only thing stopping you both from reaching out. One text is all it takes for you to see if you can rekindle your old friendship.
i try this and they're not interested tho. even they were the one who wrong me. i give them chances but they didnt want those i guess
This video pairs really nicely with self love and self care work. You can find a playlist of self love videos that I've created here - ua-cam.com/video/QoWarDkn80s/v-deo.html&ab_channel=muchelleb
A thought I didn't mention: Just because you don't have a big friend group - doesn't mean that there's anything wrong or invalid about your friendships! One on one friends are amazing and a small handful of friends is just as valid as a group of 20 people and having only 5 or so people within that 20 that you're really close with. Also - quality matters far more than quantity (as in - according to studies, it's much more impactful of your wellbeing to have a handful of quality friends than a bunch of so so / conflict filled / etc friends). I appreciate you xoxo
I have a question. I have wanted to be the "asker", but I don't know how to go about it. Like all those small step in the beginning, introducing myself n so on. I just don't know what to say. My main issue is that I'm surrounded by people who are not my race and are at a high status than mine. So I do struggle with what is acceptable in their society when making friends. Please do share your thoughts with me. That would really be helpful and I would appreciate it very much.
I’m autistic and I’m pretty sure this plays a part in my discomfort with small talk which is inevitable if you want to meet new people.
I’m pretty decent at keeping friends but it’s just the damn small talk that I can’t get over. I’m good at it, but I think people can tell I’m not interested which puts them off, which is fair.
With the pandemic and lockdown in my city it's literally impossible to make friends in real life. The very few friends I do have I can't see because were forbidden to see each other 😢
Yea, I was using meetup.com prior to the pandemic. I was starting to go out a little and make a littlw connections. Now I'm back to zero
I need this :( i used to have many friends but now at my small college i do NOT fit in and i have no friends, only some acquaintances that i dont even like that much. Just the existence of this video in itself makes me happy and helps me feel less weird
Pam Cas I feel the same! I had to move to a different city for university.
Same here lol
same with me! before quarantine I haven't found any friends in uni, and now it's really hard because all the courses are online :|
Vertigo i made a friend during online classes! You could try having a group chat for assignments and just start some small conversations. I started asking someone how to do certain questions and slowly some questions about life outside of school! I dont guarantee it’ll work everytime as it depends on the other person but its a way to start :)
@@animeshizune98 Thank you! My semester will start soon, so I'll try this! :)
Some really good tips -- even for those of us who are no longer in our 20s. I can attest that after you've raised your kids and they've left home, you can be in the same situation when starting your new empty nester life.
I’ve always made friends easily, and I’m in agreement that I treat everyone like a friend until they give me good reasons not to. I love my friends and they’re the most important parts of my life. It is more difficult during pregnancies and babies and all the chaos that comes with mommies. But if you stick it out, you get to be an honorary auntie and godmother. And it is fun seeing your besties’ babies turn into mini versions of my BFFs.
I have to say that I haven’t had much difficulties making friends as an adult. I think I’m actually better at it now than I was as a teenager.
What really helped me was traveling alone (starting when I was 22) and staying in hostels where you’re almost forced to meet new people. The first time I was incredibly shy and thought you couldn’t just go up to people and start a conversation without coming of as a weirdo. But I quickly discovered that you actually can do that and form “temporary” friendships.
Because of these experiences that I kept pushing myself in I can now say that I’m quite confident approaching new people and most times (not always of course) it’s received in a positive way by the other person.
The past few years I’ve lived in a few different places because of circumstances and I always ended up making new friends that I got to hang out with.
If I hadn’t pushed myself, I would have still been the shy girl that doesn’t approach anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still an introvert most of the time and I LOVE spending time just by myself, but it’s nice to also be able to be social when I want to.
Oh yeah travelling alone helps you develop a rare level of social bravery. I'm still not very good at the approaching other people thing, but I'm less scared when they approach me. :-D
same, im good at meeting new ppl and making friends but its kinda hard to deepen those "friendships". idk how
Making new friends it’s, without a doubt, important. It’s also definitely not easy for everyone to do.
From a self love content creator to another- what a great topic Muchelle!! I love it! ❤️
Dubai UAE pop Definitely not easy.
Michelle, this is exactly the video I needed today. I moved to Sydney 18 months ago, by myself, and my mental health has been awful since. I have never felt this alone or depressed, and making friends here has been a huge struggle. I definitely worry about bothering people who already have established friendships and lives here by being 'needy'. This is my very measured kick in the butt to put myself out there more and stop making silly excuses ('my job is so social!') for not making the effort to make friends. Thank you!
Genius. I'd say that I have all the frienships I can handle, and it's exactly because of what you said. I stopped hesitating to wait for people to reach out to me, and started being the person to acknowledge the other by simple means. Just nodding at someone, asking a question, or giving a compliment can go a long way. I really, really appreciate and notice when someone reaches out to me for that reason, cos it's usually me :D
Oh my gosh the last few sentences! So true. You don’t need to love yourself for others to love you. People will find worth in you way before you can see and if you allow it. Thank you for the video I am in such need for new friends :(
I just met the man of my dreams. I feel so lucky. Everything I could have ever asked for and more. Never thought he existed but he did. Just took traveling the world and a global pandemic to bring us together! Ha! As for friends, it is SO tough as you get older especially when you travel and move around as much as I have. Thank you for this. Really needed it!
I need this. All of my friends are gone now, whether it be from me leaving situations that hurt me, them misunderstanding my situation, etc. All of my friend group now consists of my boyfriend and that’s it. I’m thankful for this video.
Hi
Hello I am definitely in the same situation
Me too. My husband and my animals are all I have.
thank you for talking about this! ive been told to be more social with people because i am quiet and keep to myself but its kinda hard to make friends especially during these times were you can't really meet new people.
That’s so true that there’s not much out there for making friends as an adult. And this video is perfect timing, I recently made a new friend from work and it’s been a lot of fun!
This (and you) is so comforting. I've really been struggling. Thank you 💕
I love that someone could speak about this, thank you
I needed this. Have been thinking of kindling friendships, new and old. Perfect timing Michelle! Good idea about the list for coffee. 💕 being the asker and following your friends advice to treat them as a close friend is GOLD. I know this may be a hard conversation to have, very glad you made the video for us, cuz it’s real.
Ironically, this video appeared when I became down lately about not having a lot of people in my personal circle. I’ve let go of my toxic-friendships. It hurt greatly. I loved them like family.
This was refreshing. Totally adding this video to my self-development playlist to revisit. Thank you!
I am just now learning to leave toxic friends no matter how long we’ve known each other. I am definitely in a better place. Now I just Ned to get back out there and find more friends.
Love this!! Thank you! I think just knowing you're not the only person who feels alone or friendless or struggling to make friends is half the barrier. I've been working on putting myself out there more this year through social platforms to ease with the feelings of isolation and this video has motivated me to start making more opportunities with repeated exposure! Thanks girl!!! I also loved that you welcomed peoples tips, such a beautiful way to turn nasty comments or disengagement into community and support.
😯 Another Talisa! This is so rare! Hahaha! Sending love and encouragement from one Talisa to another. I've gone through similar and you're definitely on the right track with repeated exposure and increasing the opportunity to meet like-minded people. Good luck with your journey!
Thank you so much for addressing this in your video. After high school or college, so many adults find it hard to make and keep friends. It is so much more difficult to keep friends because of the nature of adulthood.
Yessss I love this. Something else I'll add to treating people like they're already you're friend and letting them know you like them is something I wrote as a way to live out my life map value of "connection": "compliment strangers with your whole heart." This can apply to strangers or people you know who you want to be better friends with. If you like something about someone, LET THEM KNOW WHAT IT IS!! Don't be a kiss ass. Just be real about what you appreciate about them!
This advice coming from someone who is now good friends with almost every barista I come into contact with lol
Hi. I wanted to ask, how do you tell them that you like them? Do you upfront say, " hey I like you and would really like us to be friends if you're interested?" from the get go. Or do you first get to know them? This is really confusing for me.
This Video is so relevant to me right now! I often feel that I put all my attention into a couple of people at a time, and when they move on (move away, change jobs, life, ect) I feel like I am starting from scratch again. -- time to get n touch with some old friends and put myself out there :) OMG its really is like dating!
I feel the same. Like I sometimes "obsess" with one or two friends and then when they leave/can't go out/have other things to do I feel lonely, but the only one to blame is me. I should open to more people and build stronger relationships. And yeah, the dating thing suprised me too! Never thought about it in that way.
Omg you're not alone!!! I feel like having more than a few close friends is a bit intimidating so I invest time in a few friends at a time and when something happens I'm like uh-oh. Should def break the habit
Great vídeo, I love how much thoughtful you are when using certain words that might be controversial. That kind of little details means a lot.
Making friends as a migrant can be so hard. It's also easier to be friends with other expats but they tend to leave more often. It takes a lot of time but it's completely posible and quality over quantity 💖
OMg so relatable I find it so heartbreaking when you meet someone you really connect with and then they move after a year
I can 100% relate, I‘ve lived abroad for 10 years now and as you said, befriending other expats is easier but can often be frustrating because the marjority of them don‘t tend to stay for long. My entire friends group from my first few years abroad have all moved back to their home countries again. It requires a lot of effort, patience and openness to continuously find and make new friends.
I literally just finished doing the 80/20 analysis and was just thinking about how hard it is for me to develop friends and making it a priority going forward. Thank you for this ❤️
You are so amazingly well-spoken! Thank you so much for this video. It touched on a lot of problems without being too time-consuming or hard to process. Many thanks ❤
Thank you for this. I think the key is to be open and vulnerable.
Great video! It’s a great reminder that everyone can take charge and change parts of their life that they aren’t happy with including platonic friendships! I love your channel and I am always interested in your tips.
Thank you for this video. Just knowing that there are more people struggling making friends is very reassuring. And a couple of these tips seem very helpful. So thank you. 😇
I agree that it is much harder to build friendships as an adult. It is so refreshing to hear you discuss this topic! It is definitely not talked about enough. Repeated exposure is so necessary and it can be hard to make time for all the people you care about (especially if you are naturally introverted like me hehe). BUT it is so necessary and we are not meant to be all alone. Literally, loneliness can make your killer cells less effective in fighting off invasive bacteria and other diseases!! Great video
This video made me reach out to a colleague that I worked with for three days this summer! We had so much fun and have kept in contact, so I sent her this as video :)
So helpful Michelle! Thank you for making a video about this under discussed topic x
I was feeling so anxious, i watched this and i now i see theres hope, thank you, seriously!
Finding opportunities to meet people with the same values as yourself is such an amazing way to find good friends! I went on a three-day course for young women in environmental careers and I met two gals who are some of my best friends after just spending three days with them. We regularly message and chat and we get on so well because we share the same core values that brought us to the course in the first place. I would say I'm almost as close to them as I am my friends from school who I've known for nearly 10 years!
Oh my gosh THANKYOU! I am sick of people telling me I need to learn to love myself first! a) I do, I just don't always like myself and b) why wouldn't someone appreciating me be helpful for that?! Thanks for this video, I've already messaged someone who I'd lost touched with!
Would u like to be my friend 🥺 ?
I loved this video! I think it's one of the best you've ever made and usually the productivity and planning stuff is why I'm here :D But I love how you try to analyse the problem even though it's clear that this is not something you struggle with right now. You do it in such a respectful way, but at the same time very honest and direct without being brutal. Love love love love it. Keep going, you're an awesome human being! Thanks for sharing your mind with the world.
Miss VIRGO!!! this all resonates with me. We arent inherantly social signs, we are more inclined to wait for others to approach us, and only approach those who make us feel secure first. These are habits we have to break! Love this.
Are you for real that this is a virgo thing?!?! That sounds like the most me thing ever hahaha, more and more I start to accept the fact that I really do embody the typical traits of a virgo.
Thank you for speaking about this ❤️
This is a video I've needed for a long time. I'm shy but I've let that be a excuse for so long that now I look around and see less people in my life than I would like. This is a video I think I will come back to many times and I will learn something new every time.
Even just smiling is enough. I met a friend and she was very shy (now that we know each other more she is very confident around me with strong opinions). The only reason I started a conversation and took initiative was because she was kind and smiling when I met her. It reassured me because at the beginning I was talking 90% 😅 And that way you kinda feel like having a monologue and that the person in front of you is not interested in you 😅 now we talk equally much and I only see her shyness when we meet other people (she becomes super quiet)
Girl I literally just moved to South Carolina 3 days ago. I was feeling so lonely today and anxious about this. Perfect timing of you to post this. Love your content!!
Glad to hear I’m not the only one who thinks ‘what if they don’t like me enough to hang out,’! I’ve meet lots of people through Instagram because you can meet people with the same interests you might never run into in the ‘real world’ and it’s easy to meet initially because we already have a bunch of stuff we want to talk about
You are so well spoken! Thanks for the tips xo 💝
This is one of your best videos! It has made me so much more self aware ✨
This video is so needed right now! Thanks, Muchelle!
I always struggled with having healthy friendships and used to everyone leaving and never staying . Having one sideded friendships is the worst for me and sick of them and tired of toxic people. Thanks so much for this video.
Awesome video, again, I got alot out of it. Since I've been living in recovery, a sober lifestyle its quite difficult for me to find friends that don't drink or use. There people in the anonomous rooms that I see regularly and know really well and deep but not necissarily friends as besides recovery not much more in common.
To keep myself safe I have learnt to keep people at a distance. But I do feel lonely and wish I had friends to spend time with and do safe activities. I am being gentle on myself and getting more involved with finess activies and who knows, I may meet people as friends along the way. Gym is awkward to meet people to make friends, but Maybe surfing may work. I bought myself a motorcycle so finding friends to do a trip with.
I'm putting myself out there but still challenging. All my friends I grew up with live in different parts of the world. We still have a whatsapp group and old friends are the best!
Thanks for your videos, I watch them all and get great value from them, Thank you!!!
Thanks for this video! This is actually how I built all my close friendships. The only problem is that I'm always the first one to write to everyone. They are all happy to meet when I initiate it but they hardly ever ask me out themselves. I mean, it's not that they don't like me cause we have amazing time together, it's just that I'm the only one to create contact. And although I'm grateful for having them all, sometimes I feel sad and unwanted.
Would u like to be my friend 🥺 ?
I very thankful for your channel, I’ve been dealing with very crippling depression for many years and didn’t have a life at all I just existed, I finally got the right therapist and the right meds and I finally feel “normal” now so now I’m trying to get my life together and figure out who I am now if that makes sense. Now you have a loyal subscriber lol.
How’s it going 7 months later
I really watched this again since I am currently in my Second Semester at my university. I really love learning about the tips!♡
Thank you so much for talking about this! I don't know why this isn't talked about enough if it's such a universal feeling. I only have a few friends and they are high quality - the problem though is that they're always busy and have a hard time making time to hang out. I try to keep myself busy too so I don't feel like I'm just moping around but it is so hard. I'm trying to make new friends though.
How about you do stuff together that you need to do anyway (breakfast on weekend, dinner during weekday, planning the week session once a week (if you’re an organization freak and want to motivate each other), doing groceries together, go to the hairdresser or nailsalon...
This is such a good topic not a lot people talk about it. And I can relate so much. For me I had a hard time to make friends. It was the lack of exposure. I wasnt in places of Meeting New people. I didnt put myself out there and was wondering why i wouldnt make friends. Now I have a good handful of friends and I couldnt be more grateful.
I loved this. This is a topic that definitely should be talked about more.
I got a lot of take aways from this video. Thank you! ❣
Love this video! I will definitely use all this advice!
Can I just say, that as someone with a developmental disorder that affects my social life in extremely negative ways (especially right now), you simply addressing that it exists made me feel so seen that I started crying.
I love this. I cannot wait to see more of this. I do not care if your not a professional. If you are successfully making and keeping friends people can use your advice.
When I keep taking the initiative to hang out but it’s rarely reciprocated, I feel like I keep on giving and the friendship is only based on me trying to keep it up... I’m never sure where to draw the line then.
You’re lucky it worked for you and your friend ❤️
Same
This EYE OPENING!!! I wasn’t expecting this video today, but wow these are some great points, thanks for sharing!!
Would u like to be my friend 🥺 ?
Thank you so much. I honestly don't use social media and unfortunately it hinders my opportunity a lot along with health issues. But I'm motivated. This has answered questions I have about why narcissits and such that treat people like junk and don't respect others ....end up having a lot of friends. (Besides being fake and being ok lying....) They assume everyone loves them. Lol 😂 That makes so much sense that that's where their success comes from. That confidence.
I feel that a lot of this has changed in the past decades overall....I know when I was younger I was very naive and "oh I like you why wouldn't you like me?" Optimistic kind of actions but it had the opposite effect. Ironically it was about being so "hard" to not be a victim. Now Ieet so many people that are all about talking about personal problems immediately. I think it's because I somehow come off a bit too "mothering" instead of just being me. I'm used to trying to help others.
Back in the day; If you acted too friendly people would frequently call you a freak and turn you down. The 90s for me and many people I know...say the same..that being cold and stand-offish was the way to be accepted socially. You had to play the game of saying you like some THING about someone...something impersonal like a clothing item etc then act like you don't care. Lol Then maybe they will hang out until you feel trusting enough.
This is actually a really good video and good advices thank you for that!
This is a very simplistic perspective and it doesn't address the actual REASON someone is not "open to friendship" or is not "putting themselves out there". Usually this is due to a lack of self confidence and a fear of getting hurt. If, you've been let down and screwed over by almost every significant relationship you've had, you're going to start to think something is wrong with you. You think everybody hates you and you start to put up walls to protect yourself.
Unfortunately the root cause of a problem is rarely addressed in "how to" videos.
I only just discovered you but I wish I had found you months ago. I feel like this is gonna be great help for me thank you
I love my youtube recommendations rn it has videos for what all i need, im gonna go to a new school next month, and im so nervous
This is the best advice I have received thus far!
I really needed to hear this thankyou.
Thank you for this video it is scary sometimes to make friends on our 20s but we will make it. kisses from Greece!!!
I can’t wait to watch when I get home, making friends has always been a struggle for me!! 😇💜
Thank you so much it really helps🔆.
Your video is really helpful. I just moved and don't know anyone yet. During the pandemic, I find it hard to get to know people because I don't want to go out. Maybe in 2021.
Loooved this video! Please talk more about relationships :)
The reason why people have lots of friends and easily connect with others is because their brains work perfectly and they can talk for hours my brain literally only processes a few words so that’s out of my control which stops me from making friends literally can’t think of anything to say at Times hard to open up
I would love to see a video on how to get past the specific personality traits at the end that you talked about
Throughout my whole schooling, I would find few good friends, we would probably become really close, and than fall apart. Every single time. I always think that's it, this is perfect friendship, it'll last my whole life. Even when I had friends I tried to meet their friends, but they would never be interested in hanging out with me. Now, I have no one because my best friend was jealous of my relationship and it's so awful...
I went through a bad breakup and had a complete breakdown on Facebook about it and so many old friends reached out to me. It felt amazing. One of them even asked to get food and spend time with me after a few years. I tried being the asker with her after that and was very bluntly shut down for my invites, indefinitely. That made me kind of give up on making friends. But, this video gives me hope and I'm going to try again.
Love this sweetie! 💕😘 Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for this video ♥️ it helped me a lot ♥️
Back in the early 2010s my post college friends and I always joked it was basically impossible to make friends our own age. We worked at companies with older employees, and there just weren’t as many interactions in our daily lives as in school, it really is a shock you don’t think about at that time.
That being said, it’s so exciting to when you meet someone and you feel like you’re a kid again, you do the whole “omg I hope they don’t think I’m weird asking to hang out” then “omg they wanna hang out too!” And then “omg they’re so cool I’m so excited to see them more” it’s an awesome feeling, even if it’s harder to do than when we were younger.
I always thought back then a version of tinder or e harmony specifically for making friends in the same phase of life as you would’ve been awesome
I so appreciate you and your videos.
Can't thank you enough for this !!
Exactly the video I've been needing! If you want to become friends, I'm here!
Would u like to be my friend 🥺 ?
@@TheLegend-rx8yu yess!!
Btw are u guys active on discord or somethin where we can talk? Or let's make a group?
@@SM-fj4kz oh that's great.. Meet u there broo ✌ that's my id -- Tanmay#6042
i also need friend
you are so beautiful and i love the palette of color in the video idk if is a filter or whatever but it's perfect
Making friends is so freaking hard. We homeschool so I don't even see Moms at the bus stop or anything like that on a regular basis. I have made a couple of friends through regular activities, but even that is hard. I know it's super hard for moms that have really little ones too, because getting out of the house is exhausting. Let alone make regular play dates and that sort of thing.
I think you're totally right about the environment being a big part. And when you're tied to your kid's schedule changing that environment is really hard. Especially right now.
Maybe an online book club (a small one) meeting online?
wow this was so helpful! Thank you for making this video!
The true key to creating and making new friends is easy as 1, 2 & 3. But it is hard for us adults, and this video really helps me because I lost one of my girlfriends due to health reasons. So I am interested in making new friends that way I can be able to create new experiences with other people. So Thank You for this video😀😀😀😀
Small talk goes a long way. People underestimate the power of small talk. A simple "Hi, how are you doing?" [and a smile -- pre-COVID] to an acquaintance goes a long way. People will remember that you took the time to talk (even if it's for a few minutes). I used to be extremely shy and kept to myself but I realized that when you put effort in trying to know people, you can try to help each other. I try to get out of my head and be present whenever I talk to friends and acquaintances.
Such a great video!! Great topic!
Really needed this, moving 1000kms away this week so need to make new friends at 25 years old!
Hey 👋
A friend to all is a friend to none, said a wise girl once upon a time and never have I felt it more than recently. Having more friends doesn’t mean they all are high quality friends. It’s I,Postamt to know who really cares. Loved this video. Can you make a video on how to identify who your true friends are?