Autistic people are the best. We are honest, get straight to the point, don’t waste time with idle chatter. We tell the truth and have a strong sense of justice. We don’t like talking on the phone and gossiping for hours. We don’t like to bother people and burden them. We don’t make fun of people or want to hurt people or fight with them. We feel for the underdog. We are passionate about things I’m glad I’m autistic.
I'm 54, very autisistic, I love it I'm a superhuman. I'm not a hater and I can do some pretty amazing things, I'm on to my 6th album on spotify, I can sculpt using plastic waste, I can play almost 40 different instruments, I am kind and do not let bully's win. I think the difference between neuro typical people and neuro divergent people is we see the bigger picture and we don't hate
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This is such a cope take. Autism means you have a dysfunctional brain and it's actually a huge problem for a lot of people with autism.
Only full marks get to pass here! 😂 But now that you counted your tally, I want to count mine, even though I just watched the video. But I didn’t keep a tally. I just kind of used this video as a podcast while swinging around in Spider-Man 2.
Here's the whole list. Will finish it when I can. 1. Preference for Solitude. Driving long distances alone with my own thoughts is the most peaceful feeling for me. I let the auto-pilot part of my brain drive and it allows me to daydream. 2. Sensory Sensitivity. Even on cloudy days I need to have my sunglasses on outdoors. I must escape when I hear multiple women talking at the same time. I love silence, but if there's a background hum or buzz I have to have music playing to drown it out. 3. Unique Communication Styles. I'm a technician, and talk like a technician. 4. Inward Focus and Special Interests. Yep 5. Masking and Camouflaging. 6. Emotional Regulation Challenges. 7. Difficulty with Change in Routine. Yep 8. Literal Thinking. I use that as comedy all the time. 9. Attention to Detail. I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard "Why would you even notice that?" 10. Hyperfocus and Flow State. 11. Difficulty Reading Social Cues. 12. Monotone Speech Patterns. I'm a technician. Monotone is normal. 13. Strong Sense of Justice and Fairness. Yep 14. Clumsiness and Coordination Issues. Nope 15. Preference for Written Communication. 16. Strong Memory and Knowledge Retention. Yep 17. Difficulty with Abstract Concepts. 18. Difficulty Initiating & Maintaining Conversations. Absolutely 19. Sensory Seeking Behaviors. 20. Directness and Honesty. To my detriment. 21. Difficulties in Understanding Social Hierarchies. 22. High Levels of Anxiety. 23. Exceptional Long-Term Memory. Yep 24. Strong Preference for Familiarity. Yep 25. Sensitivity to Emotional Atmospheres. More so the older I get. 26. Strong Need for Predictability. Yep 27. Intense Interests and Expertise. My friend use to call me Cliff. (Cliff Clayvin from Cheers) 28. Difficulty with Eye Contact. 29. Literal Honesty. Ohh Yeah 30. Resistance to Being Touched. With Strangers. 31. Hyperlexia. My 7 y/o Grandson just finished 1st grade. He can read 87 WPM with 100% comprehension. He read an Atlas and now knows all the state capitals. 32. Strong Moral Compass. 33. Distinctive Learning Styles. 34. Difficulty with Small Talk. Yep 35. Strong Visual Memory. 36. Tendency to Monologue. Yep 37. Difficulty with Implicit Rules & Social Norms. 38. Enhanced Pattern recognition. Yep 39. Difficulty with Time Management. Yep 40. Low Tolerance for Ambiguity. Yep 41. Strong Need for Autonomy. Yep 42. Hyperfocus on Justice and Fairness. 43. Difficulty with Ambiguous Instructions. Yep 44. Preference for Logical and Structured Environments. Yep 45. High Sensitivity to Criticism. 46. Difficulty with Impulse Control. Yep I'm a binge eater. 47. Memory of Significant Personal Events. I remember my older brother's 1st day of school and how he had to be dragged in. I was 5 at the time. 48. Difficulty Interpreting Figurative Language. 49. Strong Preference for Specific Topics. Yep 50. Reliance on Daily Activities. 51. Preference for Non Verbal Communication. 52. Sensitivity to Textures. In Spades. I don't wear wool, sweaters, or turtlenecks. I cut the tag out of every shirt I've ever owned. No doctor has gotten a tongue depressor in my mouth since I was very young. I actually learned to move my tongue down to avoid it. 53. Difficulty with Multi-Step Instructions. 54. Preference for Solo Activities. Yep 55. High Levels of Creativity.
FULL LIST 1 Preference for solitude 2 Sensory sensitivity 3 Unique communication styles: direct, honest, blunt, 4 Inward focus on special interests 5 Masking & camouflaging 6 Emotional regulation: alexithymia 7 Difficulty with change in routine 8 Literal POV 9 Attention to detail 10 Hyper-focus, flow state 11 Difficulty with social cues 12 Monotone speech pattern 13 Strong sense of fairness & justice 14 Clumsiness, coordination challenges 15 Preference for written communication hate talking on phone 16 Strong memory & knowledge retention 17 Difficulty with abstract concepts Hate hypothetical questions 18 Difficulty with conversations Don’t do small talk 19 Sensory seeking behaviors 20 Directness & honesty (blunt) 21 Difficulty with social hyerarchy 22 High anxiety 23 Exceptional long-term memory 24 Preference for familiarity (safe people) 25 Sensitivity to emotional atmospheres 26 Strong need for predictability 27 Intense interests and expertise 28 Difficulty with eye contact 29 Literal honesty 30 Resistance to being touched 31 Hyperlexia (early reader) 32 Strong moral compass 33 Distinctive learning styles 34 Difficulty with small talk 35 Strong visual memory 36 Tendency to monologue 37 Difficulty w/implicit rules & norms 38 Enhanced pattern recognition 39 Difficulty w/time management 40 Low tolerance for ambiguity 41 Strong need for autonomy 42 Hyperfocus on justice & fairness 43 Difficulty w/ambiguous instructions 44 Prefer logical & structured environments 45 High sensitivity to criticism 46 Difficulty with impulse control 47 Memory of significant personal events 48 Difficulty with figurative language 49 Preference for specific topics 50 Reliance on regular daily activities 51 Prefer non-verbal communication 52 Sensitivity to texture 53 Difficulty w/multi-step instructions 54 Preference for solo activities 55 High level of creativity
i know that feeling it's cool and healing to know you're not the only one feeling broken. it can suck sometimes, but i wouldn't like to be anything but me
Monologuing: I’m an expert, you asked me a question. The answer takes more than one sentence, but I get interrupted giving context to the answer I’m about to give and never get to answer the question. EVERYTHING is more complicated than it appears on the surface, but that’s the maximum depth for most people.
Story of my life. Some days, I feel really bad for the engineers that report to me. They get all the content! I still have one engineer that reports to me (who I am fairly confident is ND) who does not get enough context and asks “why”. 😂
Totally. Re: no context - The health profession is rife with this for me. I find it a depressing, dehumanising, draining crapshoot. Refusing to ask follow up questions and ask or listen to contexts. Refusing to explore options. I saw a comment on reddit that soo describes this attitude - in a different context - Be curt, unhelpful and smile sweetly while declining to... (do tasks in that context). Great comments and theories here. Thanks all. Sending hugs.
I hit the jackpot yesterday. I despise small talk, so i have avoided hair dressers for years cos they are professionals of small talk. I pushed myself and went to a hair dresser yesterday, and she didnt do any small talk. Just cut my hair in silence. It was so good.
OMG! I can relate sooooo much! I dreaded hairdressers whole life until I managed to find one who I was OK with. But over the years she'd started to try to chit-chatt with me, resulting to me quitting with her after eight years. Now I'm anxious about finding another one once again :D Oh my, the struggle is real!!
Sometimes the people that cut my hair avoid small talk. I like it sometimes I think but my favorite appointment was when there was none. I was just able to focus on my hair being cut which was actually kinda relaxing to me. Probably sorta what my cat feels like when I pet him.
You described me to perfection! I get lots of anxiety with speaking on the phone. I just can’t do it….. But I can text forever and be very elaborate when texting. I am also a loner!
I actually don't get much anxiety being on the phone; but I often find it hard to escape from and kind of annoying. Actually initiating a phone call however, that is an extremely difficult barrier to cross.
It is a double edge sword for me because when I am wanting to talk it ends up being unreadable walls of text because I have to write every last detail to ensure the right context is used since text lacks body language and tone of voice and well let's just use the example of "F you, what the F are you doing around here, lets get out of here" can translate to a hostile version of what it literally says, like stay the F away, but it can also translate to a much much more friendly "What? What are you doing here, long time no see, let's go grab lunch and a brewski" all dependent on tone of voice and body language. As a result Most my writing ends up being way longer to the point of aggravation because typing on a phone screen sucks and so ends up being easier just calling even though calling has it's own flaws at least I am not writing a 10 page report in order to convey 3 sentences. As a result depending on what I am talking about I may prefer text because it gives me time to reply, but I may prefer just calling because it would take me 40 minutes to write what would take 30 seconds to say.
I am 52 and am so good at camouflaging that when I finally (finally!) got the courage to mention my personal austism suspicions to my doctor, he told me that there was no way I could possibly be autistic because I am too sociable. He then proceeded to accuse me of wanting a diagnosis so thaf I could go on a disability pension and get NDIS. I have not mentioned it again. I cried when I got home. I was so shocked that he could possibly think that. I'm sticking with self-diagnosis, and being out-and-proud ND with my friend (autistic too). They get me.
@@inikainika1523 true! I'm so glad it helped you. Well I was shocked because it was not on my mind at all. I was genuinely telling him my suspicions and asking if I should do something about it regarding assessment to confirm or deny. It REALLY hurt.
Yes, when something has deprived me of my daily activity, it feels like grief, like someone intentionally was out to hurt me. It's irrational and I know it, and I manage the feeling as an adult. But the feeling is still there.
It must have stemmed from something that happened when you were in your earliest years of age…it will be something you could cleave to your bosom and respect the feeling and maybe on some level there can be healing.❤️🩹
Good grief! I scored a clear, unambiguous 55 out of 55. I was only diagnesed 1 1/2 weeks ago but so much is making sense to me. At church ladt Sunday, i shared my diagnosis with 2 of my best friends who were sittIng on either side of me. The one on the left said, "Welcome home! So am i!" My friend to the right said, "i believe I am too." I have never felt so safe and included before. Then i discovered that a very young, gifted musician who always chooses to sit next to me at Bible Study also has ASD. He's 23. I'm 73! God has been so good to me 😊. I still feel overwhelmed by this unacccustomed acceptance and understanding.
@@Doperooni true but for how long or how well wil it run DOS... not only that, DOS... really? that's the lowest grade or bare minimum of calling something a pc. it will always be less is what im saying.
You can't 'ask' a Mac to be a PC, because it IS already a PC. PC is just a personal computer, the OS isn't specified yet. It's like if you try to ask an autistic/neurotypical brain to be a brain. In the End the OS matters. (You could e.g. install Linux, macOS, Windows or any other kind of operating system, and it would be still (your/a) personal computer.)
Rudeness is subjective. Expecting me to lie is rude. Neurotypicals commonly lack the ability to handle any conversation that doesn’t also stroke their ego.
Actually, rudeness is based on a set of unspoken (I think) social rules. I have one child who was born knowing these rules, one child learned most of them (a very observant person). They can choose to follow those rules or not, choose when and if to be rude. I know a few of the obvious ones that I was taught as a child by my shocked mother (she never understood how I could be so socially clueless). The problem is that some neurotypicals are deliberately rude and enjoy being rude to shock people or to get attention or to be mean. Then along comes an autistic person who behaves in a way the unspoken rules have named rude and the neurotypicals jump to the conclusion that the autistic person is being deliberately rude. I have found humour and goofing off is the best camouflage for me. I'm sure a lot of people think I'm completely loopy, but at least I'm not rude, hahahahahaah! An autistic person once told me that all neurotypicals are just boring.
Isn't THAT the truth. I can still recall how awesome it felt to have a good real conversation with someone that fully disagreed with me, but was intelligent. Gawd nothin like it.
27:17 yesterday I sat outside when a couple of people I barely know asked me if they could sit with me and I said: *”of course! but please don’t include me in any conversation!”* 😇
My autism discovery was in May '23, at 65 years of age. After a year-plus of reading, watching, thinking and, most of all, revisiting a lifetime's worth of experience, I'm reaching, irresistibly, the conclusion that at the core of autism is the absence of a "matrix." The absence is relative, sometimes more, sometimes less (corresponding, I would bet, to the degree one is "high-functioning"), but in all cases the essential quality is matrixlessness. The absence of a core schematic. Again, more or less, but some degree of absence. You might call it "matrix amnesia." The absence of an enduring perceptive-cognitive blueprint, so that, in a way, every socio-psychological-sensory outing is uncharted territory all over again. Think, for instance, of hyper-reaction to sensory input, also hyper-vigilance. Every time a sudden, sharp noise (like a child's screech) happens in a large group setting, you practically leap out of your skin in "What's THAT?!" alarm...even though this has happened a million times before and everybody knows perfectly well what it is. And every visit to the supermarket is kind of the first time you've ever been in a supermarket. No, not because it's real amnesia, not because you don't know where you are or that you're supposed to pay for your purchases, but because there's this pervasive sense of foreignness to it all and unpredictability. The surface appearances are familiar, yes, but you don't really believe them. Because to you they are not a "matrix," they're just what things look like today and you're not really sure what the rules are. It reminds me of my titanic struggles with arithmetic in school. And when the frustrated teacher would tell me the answer, "8x7 is 56! FIFTY-SIX!", I vividly recall, as if from inside my brain at that moment, staring at her, and her frustration, uncomprehending two things: 1) why she was so exercized about this number, and, 2) why "56," even if it was the answer today, would still be the answer tomorrow.... This is where masking comes from, of course: performing, externally, the dance you see everybody around you doing, even if you can't penetrate the "Why?", because, well, how else can you survive among people you simply HAVE to survive among? This matrixlessness relates, I dare say, to every single one of the traits you bring up here. I will resist the temptation to discuss each one, and it's a big temptation! 🙂 I am in my own humble way, and with no particular schedule (though "by next year" would be nice) trying to write a book about this, my own personal chronicle that, I'd like to think, might help others. Maybe it will never be a book, maybe just a long blog. We'll see. In any case it's really helping ME, for now, thinking through all this. It's a fascinating journey of both discovery and healing. If I do finally write and publish it, its title will be "Visceral; My Discovery and Reminiscences of Autism."
Matrix amnesia, love it! This resonates with me for sure. Another way of describing bottom up thinking, where we need to gather the details and specifics before we can develop a hypothesis about what’s going on. Whereas neurotypicals seem to jump right to the big picture.
About writing your book . . . I started my book in 2001 and I am in the same age-bracket as you. I initially started writing my story as an autobiography but could never figure out how to make it interesting enough. A few years ago, I had an epiphany; I changed the story to a Novel, which allowed additional creative freedom and allowed for greater character anonymity. I then wrote for 3 days straight with minimal sleep. But, it is still a work in progress until the creative urge grabs me again.
@@katharinegates2917 i agree, except instead of the 'big picture' i'd say they _arbitrarily_ choose a kind of 'middle picture' because not only they refuse to examine how certain details contribute to something, they can at the same time refuse to consider what role the object of their focus might play on a greater scale i say arbitrarily because to me it often feels like it, but it more often than not has to do with immediate practicalities concerning survival of some chosen circle either on short or long term, depending on the mysterious variations of temperament, personality and prevalent customs. meanwhile, i have my own individually biased levels of analysis that I'd hope others would adopt, but the real thing is, ( i'm falling asleep rn if i don't go do I'll just leave it like this! )
I can relate to so many of these 55 signs, not all of them, but most. Saying that, it is validating to see so many of my traits condensed into one video. This is a lot of information and I will watch this video several times to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
It’s interesting how many of these are also common with ADHD. I have ADHD and almost all of these resonate to the extent that I keep finding myself saying, “Yes! OMG Yes, TOTALLY!! Thank you!!” And I’m by myself watching this. I’m sure it’s possible I could also have a bit of autism, but with so much symptom overlap I’m sure I’ll never suss that out.
Yup. Ever since my lil ol' ADHD self started watching Orion, I've said the same thing. Funny thing is, I started watching to better understand my ASD boyfriend- which I have, but I better understand myself too. I find it fascinating that he and I in respect to our ASD and ADHD are polar opposites in some areas and completely converge in others.
Small talk has a purpose. It's a verbal surface level conversation where 90% of the communication in non verbal body language where two people are evaluating each other to see if they conversation should end or go deeper. Psychologist online explained this. That explains why I never understood small talk and even understanding it dose mean I can do it
That is exactly it @chrismaxwell1624 but you don't have to do it. Just know a few key starter subjects. I have learnt that they will do the rest. You don't have to be interested but it makes them more comfortable and the next thing you know they are telling you the stories of their lives which I do find interesting. Seriously, if you ever feel lonely or bored, sit at a bus stop with old people waiting and ask " has the bus been yet? It seems a bit late, doesn't it?" You'll be amazed what you will find out 😁 Or sit midway on a country bus. You don't have to join in, just smile when someone gets on. They will all know each other and so will you by the time you get to the destination. 😄 I love studying people.
The only thing I understand avout small talk; talking about the weather is socially acceptable, but I definitelt can't use that trick to iniate conversation, because it's soooo weird! And it's soooo difficult to fake being interested with that object. I'm 33yo, and still didn't manage to spot what the other subjects for small talk are. Maybe talking about the holidays? Would explain why my coworkers tell they went travelled on holidays, but don't want to answer my questions about their travel - they want to keep the thing superficial, meanwhile I'm really to connect by digging into something I though they wanted to talk about?
I love videos like this. Content like this led me to strongly suspect that I was actually autistic & this year at 45 I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist here in the UK. My experience makes a lot more sense now & I’m so glad and relieved to know. So to Orion & others who make this style of content; thank you, truly! X
Does anyone else find it very annoying that the internet used to be filled with well written how-to guides on any subject you could think of, frequently with diagrams, and now it's all youtube videos with someone explaining how to do the thing? It drives me nuts...
Having to communicate with the ai that never gets my question when I need help, then after trying to reword the question several times, finally getting a person, who then gives the same default answer. By then, I’m pissed, and end up sending pics with arrows, specific indicators, etc. I miss the days where I can bring something in and have the human help me right away.
@@Cnsalmoni Ugggghhhh... The endless phone trees just to find out that I already know more about my issue than the human I finally reach because I'm not about to make a phone call without hours of research first. My propane guy caused immediate concern by calculating 80% if 150 gallons *wrong*
Yes! Whenever I want to learn something and look it up I always get sick of trying to wade through all the videos. I don't want to watch a 5 minute video that I will forget as soon as it's over. Give me an article that I can read in 30 seconds and refer back to as I need.
I can relate to a lot of these traits but I just wanted to say that the second you started discussing impulse control and how as autistics we suffer from impulse control , my mind went straight to the topic of addiction the moment you said it too 😱🤯 great minds... LoL. Seriously, I have been wondering about the correlation between addiction and mental health issues, and more recently, autism. Mostly due to my own personal struggles with misdiagnosis and over medication, leading to addiction and now recovery and realizing the fact that I am autistic and ADHD not bipolar. Thanks again so much for your videos and insights! I've been able to start working on my way to a healthier place and I definitely have content creators like yourself to thank. I do hope you will explore the correlation between addiction and autism more in the future.
In my research and experience, this probably comes from ADHD and lack of dopamine or needing high dopamine rewards before getting involved with a task. Most tasks are not high dopamine. Phenylalanine can help as it converts to tyrosine and then dopamine. I prefer it over taking tyrosine. But, of course, it won't cure your ADHD. It will only help you manage symptoms. But this explains why a lot of us become alcohol or drug addicts, or addicted to weed, cigarettes, food, porn, masturbation, or sex. Experimentation and learning to balance neurotransmitters is probably worth the struggle to learn. My current route is through supplementation, and slowly building gong (experience) in a meditation practice to be able to balance my neurotransmitters by regulating my own nervous system at will. This takes decades of consistent effort but is probably the most rewarding path I've found.
Thank you, yeah. I’m with you on the misdiagnosis. Rampant it seems. Uneducated doctors not trained enough and government that seriously needs an adjustment is an understatement. Love from 🇨🇦
So grateful for this wonderful information. Still waiting for my testing , it was a joke. As an adult who’s been struggling since the diagnosis at 40 ish. Now almost 64 , I’m still struggling with not being able to access a diagnosis of autism. Thank you 🇨🇦✌️⚖️☯️
I can relate to everything. I am being evaluated for autism on friday... looking forward to it. Been having a really hard time for all my life, and finally something makes sense to me. This video makes it pretty clear to me.
“The doors haven’t moved in my house”. I assure you, they HAVE. I know this to be true because the doors and all furniture moves in my house all the time. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t run into them constantly. 🤣
Which is funny for me because I hit corners of furnitures and walls more in daylight than I do at night in the dark. It's so weird... I can go through a dimly lit room or hallway with zero issue, but as soon as the incandescents come on - SMACK! There goes my pinky toe.
Watching every stand-up I could find online and awaiting the perfect time to drop comedy on others became my socializing strategy in school. Comedy can start friendships and calm tense situations if applied properly.
Small talk… I asked my husband about this recently “why do ppl initiate with small talk?”. Apparently it’s a way for the other person to get a sense about you, how you think and what state of mind you’re in. Maybe it’s cuz literature has been a passion of mine since childhood but I do enjoy poetry and using analogies. But overall I strongly agree that I prefer written communication and avoid telephone calls unless absolutely needed. When I have a call with a family member I try to encourage them to use video. I like to think that it minimises the chances the other person will misunderstand me. What I’ve loved about the discovery of adhd and autism is that I now have a reason / cause behind my quirks, experiences and struggles. I’ve struggled with friendships thru out my life. It’s like there’s an invisible brick, social conventions, that I can’t see but I keep tripping up on it. I have learnt to improve my social interactions a bit, and I make sure to greet and ask how the other person is. But if they ask me how I’m doing, I tell them lol 😂
@@christinakuhn5739 I don't mind talking on it.. but I hate when it makes a noise. Mostly because they mostly don't matter, spam. It demands too much attention. I don't 'ring the notification bell' for any YT channel.
I've gathered so much information and experience in computers and IT that I have a job. I'd call that expertise. I'm very grateful for it. I get emotional and overwhelmed watching these videos @Orion I was diagnosed one year ago and I've fought it as I thought it was basically a death sentence to be autistic. I've started to come to terms with it. I suddenly understand myself so much better and things make more sense. Thank you for making these videos about autism.
I am a 64 year old man, and I know I have autism. I have been on a waiting list for diagnosis for years. I have had issues since I was a very small child. This video has been the most concise for me, as so many of the factors described relate to me 100%. I am dreading an assessment where I am told that I don't have autism - when I already know I do. I have other symptoms not mentioned. One of them is that I always glaze over when listening to information I am trying to absorb. I have to rewind You Tube videos and re-read pages of a book. Another one is that I get overwhelmed if I am given too many choices for something. That causes sensory overload too. The list of issues is endless, and I am really disturbed by low-resonance sounds and rattles in cars etc. My hearing is far too acute, and I can even hear bats communicating with each other. I have subscribed straight away, and look forward to watching other content.
I am totally with you on the extra list of symptoms. Re-reading pages - tick! Being asked to choose what food I want (especially in a supermarket) is a real problem for me (overload time). On the few occasions I am brave enough to go to a pub now I have to leave quite early as I can hear every conversation in the pub as loud as the one I'm meant to be involved in. I would also add interviews where they ask multiple questions in one go - I have enough trouble with one question (even when I know the answer), but having to think about three questions at the same time - impossible.
I paused and rewinded so many times! My mind kept going to my personal experiences and I just couldn't concentrate! 😂😀 But I got through it because it is important and very validating. I feel closer to our community, too! I am forever grateful for you to put this out there. You represent our community extremely well, my friend! Thank you. Take care! 😀
As an AuDHD, written communication helps both with processing time AND with my unfortunately poor memory. This is even more beneficial when you consider the fact that not all neurotypicals have good memories or are, in fact, honest. So I can reread a conversation and establish a number of valuable things… that I complied with all the details I was asked to complete in a task, that I was told a certain thing, what time I said or did a thing based upon when the interaction took place, that I told another person something when they say I didn’t (because “you’re so forgetful”), etc. It can facilitate all sorts of things and offer legal protection in transactions or in restraining orders, custody disputes, you name it. I fail to see the faults, really.
I not only feel deeply seen, you articulated things about me I’d never focused on before. It gives me ways to advocate for myself and my needs I didn’t have before. Thank you, Orion. You’ve made a positive difference for me.
The more i learn about autism the more I relate. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD and anxiety disorder. After going through some challenges in my life that caused me to really struggle with my identity for a few years I've gotten to a place where I'm rediscovering myself and I'm realizing that I've been treated a certain way whenever I tried showing up as myself that caused me to depersonalize. I didn't understand until recently how I got to that point. Changes in routine are incredibly difficult. I liked myself but society didn't accept me. Behaviors that were deemed inappropriate like interrupting because i didn't know when to speak. Talking to myself outloud makes people uncomfortable which i can understand to an extent but it helps me self regulate when I'm feeling overwhelmed. When I'm learning something new i need to repeat the steps outloud to slow my thinking down. Autism just makes so much more sense to me than OCD. All the things i "obsessed" were things I I did out of enjoyment or self soothing. I had the occasional thought if I don't do this thing something bad will happen but it was managable. I remember asking if it was OCD trait not liking the texture of cardboard or the smell and they told me it could be. It's interesting to self reflect on things you were told were something else in a different light. Going to back to authenticity. I now understand why I hated doing sales so much. I can't straight-up lie to someone about a product I think is a waste of money. If it was a product I could back 100% up then no problem!
@@lindseycassella3015 yea in no doctor but I think you may have been misdiagnosed. I think if you have ADHD, OCD, and anxiety those are symptoms or traits of autism. Would be worth getting another diagnosis
11:00 God, I felt that in my soul. Talking on the phone is so stressful for me. I already have trouble communicating with people and when I can't even see their facial expressions or anything I'm completely lost. 😭
Yes, yes yes. This is one comfort to me when pretty much no one around me sees or understands. It is amazing that being truthful and seeing small details that end up saving a situation are not acknowledged or even wanted. Sorry, just had all this happen today.
When I first started working at a science communication hotline, the hardest part wasn’t learning the complex info we had to convey, it was learning how to have phone conversations. My coworker described the language I used as “unsettling” once. I ended up writing and rehearsing a bunch of scripts instead of organically having convos, which has made things easier. I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but this is one of the things that is making me consider getting a diagnosis lol
The part about interrupting...I learned early on that it is considered rude according to social etiquette because of how people react sometimes and how I've been disciplined for it, yet I have never been able to suppress it. Conversing with other neurodivergent people is a breath of fresh air though. I wish I could get a few typicals in my life to watch this video 😢
Thank you so much for presenting this list (I am 55/55) and giving clarifying examples of what each means. You made me feel like I was actually watching myself as I watched you in the video. I’ve never ever identified with anyone in my life until I watched you in your video. Your video has presented the facts that I must finally accept that I am most probably on the spectrum.
Love the video! I want to add an alternative autistic perspective on phone calls, bc I know I can't be the only one lol. I am the opposite regarding preferring text. I prefer phone calls to both texting and video calls. Texting takes up SO much of my attention, and other people in the room won't leave me alone when I do it. Emojis are confusing. One of the best parts of talking on the phone is that there are no facial expressions to interpret. On the phone, no eye contact is required or even possible. (Zoom calls getting popular is how I realized that this is why I prefer the phone.) Meanwhile, texting has facial expressions that don't always make sense and secret punctuation rules. Also, if I take an hour or two to think and respond after reading a text, apparently, that's "leaving someone on read" and rude. Meanwhile, a pause over the phone makes it clear that I need to think. If I'm worried about getting confused, I can write notes during the conversation, and no one can see that I'm doing it. I also have a hard time switching from using my phone screen to existing in meatspace. Switching apps is also hard. This means I can't easily take notes on my phone. The phone keeps me in meatspace, and my hand are free to take notes or do whatever I want (knitting, doodling, cooking, etc.) Maybe this is my ADHD running some of the show, but I love that over the phone, no one can see how rude and distracted I look, and I'm not seeing any body language or emojis to misinterpret, so I can really focus in on what's going on.
Ive become super good at recalling where my adhd husband leaves his keys or wallet or whatever because i can remember exactly where i saw it last and can recall those memories really clearly. Almost like a whole picture my brian took of the iteam in question. It always makes me feel like im not all that useless. :)
I am forever grateful for your videos! Thank you for finding the words to express what's going on inside many of our minds and bodies. I just thought I was different...well, not really. People say I am. Only after deep diving into Autism has my entire life now made sense. Now, I understand that I am different. I wouldn't want to be any other way, honestly. 🎉🎉🎉
"Only 51 out of 55. I was pretty close to being autistic, there for a minute." Autism, and its traits are all on a spectrum. I too have most of these traits to varying degrees. The analytical aspect of my autism made it very easy to teach myself how to fright. I hate real fighting, but I learned so I can better control the monster with-in myself. At 67, I learned that I am autistic. So much so, that it cannot be hidden. If I would have known earlier in my life, it would have made it to where I could better understand why I am so different. Learning that I am autistic was such a blessing. As a result, I am now no longer ashamed of this gift. I now also better understand neurotypicals, as they operate within a system of similarities, just as we do. The neurotypicals auto-pilot (genetic programing) that they so frequently rely on, makes them predictable. *** Thank you, Orion Kelly; The quality content in your efforts have truly enhanced many people’s lives. I snapped at my wife in front of her mother. It was one brief moment, then I caught myself. No explanation or apology from me could take the distain off of her face. She now saw me as a monster and a liar. This went on for weeks. I played her one of your videos. Hearing it from you made all of the difference. Because of your insightful explanations, she now understands the challenges that I face. And because of you, she treats me with respect.
This is one of your best done videos ever! I wish I could hand it out to every person I meet and get them to watch it so maybe they have some clue of what they are getting into before we decide to interact or not 😂
I was diagnosed with ADHD half a year ago at the age of 31, and I can more or less relate to almost every sign. Not sure if I only have ASD, ADHD, or both now, lol...
Haha same :'D I can't tell where those disgnoses can be seperated. Someone said: when you take ADHD-meds and your life gets easier, it's ADHD. If it stays hard and you still feel weird, it's possibly (also) autism 😆
@@dn3305 seriously? I thought it was only ADHD and the meds I took actually didn't work as I thought they would work, and I don't know why but my meds kind of made me more dreamer, I mean I do a lot of daydreaming but for sure it increase the amont of it. I am so confused lol
@@AslCelik-yf1lu oh that sounds really dreamy :'D maybe other meds are more for you? I learned, that meds for more noradrenaline and dopamine can help me to get more things done and everythings a little easier without the feeling of drifting away. But I did not take other ADHD-meds, still in my trial
If you include the 55 or so traits that i had in the last list to this list , I gotta be topping 100. ( there's obviously overlap, just being dramatic but I am clearly autistic ) When I went to my GP for a diagnosis I was put on anti depressants ....twice, then signed up to online cbt, then given 8 sessions of counseling. Eventually i got diagnosed with adhd privately which sent me down the path towards autism. I returned to my GP to ask about getting an assessment and then he sent me to my local mental health clinic with a anxiety disorder query. Thankfully, luckily, the psychiatrist that i was sent to also just so happened to diagnose children (my GP did not know) and she instantly recognised. And now they want GP's to diagnose. Same thing being pushed over here in Ireland now. Seems like they're rolling out that strategy you talked about for all neurodivergent groups. I'm part of a group connected with one of the largest charities related to this stuff here. When i pointed out the problems I was basically told to stop being so negative. I should feel lucky with what they've done. I was told this by other neurodivergent folks who just so happen to work for said charity. I'm so tired of how people are these days. Lies after lies and gaslighting when you call them out. It's everywhere ;(
All so relatable, it is videos like that this that make me wonder how it wasn't picked up earlier (I'm one that figured it out and then sort out a diagnosis)
For me, I understand hypothetical questions and can see their potential utility. But there are two problems: first, there is never any way to guarantee that somebody’s answer to a hypothetical question would be proven to be accurate, no matter how sincerely their response. That sort of defeats the purpose. The other issue I have with hypotheticals is that they are highly ambiguous. I need *all* the information before I can even begin to know how to answer. In an interview when someone says “What would you do in situation X?” I find myself completely unable to answer until I’m satisfied that I have every relevant detail: who else will be there? What time of day is it? What mood am I in? What mood are the other people in? How old am I when this happens? Are the other people involved honest or dishonest? Are there rules related to this topic that I am unaware of or that currently don’t apply to me? Long story short: I need you to fill in all the details in order to know what *you* are really asking me.
Ditto me too,was talking with my wife the other day,she was telling me a story about her daughter working on a dairyfarm,driving down a lane and getting stuck,I had to ask was it a gravel lane or tracks in a paddock,she said it doesn't matter,she got stuck,I asked also what was she driving a tractor or a ute,she said it doesn't matter,lol oh yes it does to ME ,otherwise I can't get my head around things 😊
LOL. So many things. I did actually laugh out loud at the “tendency to monologue.” When someone asks me a question about something I am very interested in, I now warn them I can talk about that thing forever. I tell them to stop me whenever they want to, just say so, because I am not going to stop on my own. I tell them it’s fine to do that. (I smile.) And then I ask if they do actually want to talk about that thing. If I get the go ahead, I’m off until they get up the nerve to stop me. Some do better at that than others. 😀
I love the way you explain and define all the “hidden traits of Autism in adults. You are so articulate in your methods and at the same time make it so interesting especially with the quirky humor which takes the edge off the viewer making those who watch who actually have autism feel warm and some what normal… I like you. You have my support absolutely . 💯😊
Bingo! My brain just celebrated 55 times. Although we are all different, and as I am just at the start of my own unmasking, I can feel the relevance in my freaking bones for each one. Unknowingly masking for a half century has trained me to exist uncomfortably, and actually seem to contradict many of your listed attributes. I don't know any better! But I can say Hallelujah, how good it will feel to finally be direct, to flush the small talk, and to be alone when I want to be alone. Thank you SO much Orion! 🙏
I'm late adult diagnosis of Autism and boy let me tell yah how hard it is to work the medical field when people are wishy washy. I can't stand hypotheticals, I work in absolutes and no one understands why. When people ask as me "how come you are so ridged" and I respond "why are you so indecisive?"
Thanks. It's great to hear so many things that make autism such a likely fit for me. I am aware of most of the autistic tendencies by now, but a long list like this helps remind me. It paints a clear and compelling picture.
I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to you for making this video! I will be using this video for years to come. Sending to family, friends, colleagues, etc. I have never truly been able to articulate all my quirks, nuances and simply what "makes me... well me". This video hit the nail on the head. Thank you so so much for being concise, direct and putting together this flawless video that so many need to see! Thank you for making me feel seen and heard, without even knowing it. You are a true gem my friend. Thanks for spreading the awareness. #autismfam! ❤❤
This was an amazing video! One of my daughters has autism, and she hit 52 out of 55. This video helped me a lot in understanding the details of her behavior. Even though we have worked for years to help her understand these differences and how to deal with them, this video showed me areas that I was unaware of. Thank you so very much for taking the time to share your insights!
These videos have been SO valuable to my self-understanding journey. There have been so many things that I've related heavily to and it's so good to know that I'm not a fucked up, broken human being, I'm just autistic. I'm just built for a different type of world than the one we have right now. Even the best compliment I ever got indicates my autistic traits: "You are the most genuine person I've ever met." I've been able to piece together so much from my past and present that finally explains why I never felt like I fit in with my "peers." Orion and a few other youtubers have really helped me figure out this key and almost all-explaining trait about myself that, as a nearly middle aged adult, got missed for understandable reasons as I was growing up and it makes me feel like... Like I can finally take a deep breath and move forward with better understanding of how and why I experience life the way I do. And literally just knowing that I'm not broken lifts a burden off my mind and soul.
Orion, I can't comprehend the "too honest", "too straightforward" thing either! Blows my mind. I don't know how to be any other way. And when I try to understand what they mean, or why you shouldn't just say what you mean, and mean what you say, no one can or will explain it to you! But they get mad you don't understand the invisible social code?!
Sometimes being 100% upfront will be to your detriment. People with less than good intentions will see you as naive and thus an easy mark to manipulate. And at other times too much honesty just simply comes across as rude and hurtful. For instance if a hypothetical female friend were to ask me if she looks 'fat' in some outfit I don't have to be totally blunt and say EXACTLY what I think ('heavens yes, I can see every single fold'). I can say something like 'I don't think this looks very flattering, maybe go for X other wardrobe item'.
I have been searching how to understand Autism and the signs. As I believe you’ve hit the nail on the head with the 55 signs. I’m surrounded by some lovely people who might be autistic! This is such a great post, you’ve made me laugh and have been a great help! So insightful thanks
Thank you for your videos. I have a lot of those signs you mentioned but I haven't been formally diagnosed at 45. I have struggled with a lot of the practical milestones in life. My driving licence, getting married, having kids all happened much later in life for me. I am very creative but have struggled with social situations in school, college and in the work environment.
Difficulty with abstraction is a good point, but because of my predisposition i got confused by it initially. Maths is a very abstract topic, and simultaneously very black and white (which is why i love it). Loving the video so far, just wanted to point that out.
I have broken my little toe on 3 separate occasions, once on a bed frame that had been in the same place since before I was born, once on a door frame in house we'd lived in for 2 years and once on a staircase in a house we'd lived in for 3 years.
Yes, yes and yes! I’m struggling greatly so I’m binge watching Your channel Orien. I find it very interesting that the community who gets me isn’t “in person “. So close yet still so far away. I take what I can get. Thank you. I hope you understand just how helpful your content is. I’m very grateful. Through your channel I’ve found mom on the spectrum, NDJen, Woodshed theory. You all are awesome!!! Much Thankz
Thank you for this content. Concerning telephone calls. I may be getting cynical in my old age. But... In an office environment, I think NT People insist on phone calls in order to make people agree to something before any thought can be put into the details of that thing or what is required to do that thing. Many NT people go through life looking at things from the 30,000-foot view. I hate that term by the way. I also view these calls as an attempt by the NT person to control me. Meaning... they are effectively saying my thing is more important than the thing you are doing at this moment in time. I have difficulty with transition. So, and unexpected phone call can create a 30-minute disruption in productivity. All for a five-minute call in which I tell the person to please send me an email and I will review the requirements and get back to you. NT people also use voice calls to waste time. They talk about nonsense for 5 or 10 minutes before getting to the point.
Today, i think it's moreso that NTs have zero grammatical skills (or they just aren't being taught in schools anymore); sending an email rife with misspellings and lacking punctuation looks terribly unprofessional.
I agree. I also find phone calls to be interruptions. The caller is requesting me to drop what I’m doing to listen to their pitches. I don’t answer the phone any more unless it’s from a number I know. Even then only if I feel like talking to them
Agreed about being put on the spot for an answer straight away on the phone, it has parallels with pressure selling telesales techniques (which I really don't like), where you're not allowed the time to go and research it first. Where the phone does save time is when a customer is proposing some vague project idea, and I'm able to question them on all the details that I need to know to even be able to go away and think about a possible solution. When that happens by email, and I reply back with a load of detail questions, they tend to not read it properly and don't answer all the questions, or answer them ambiguously, so it gets into a lengthy cycle of further email questioning, and feeling that they will be getting annoyed by it. By phone, if they want an answer straight away and it's not something simple enough to answer straight off, I just say I need to think about and will get back to them, because I don't want to give them false hope or a dishonest answer.
My GP is in the process of referring me for testing to see if I'm autistic. In the meantime, I've had a sense of peace listening to your videos and carrying on as if I already have the diagnosis. I've been able to come off my meds, so it's no small thing how your videos have helped. One thing I do now is to remain quiet in neurotypical settings. That way, I don't need to perseverate later about things I may have said wrong. It makes being around other people a little easier. Don't get me wrong... I have a lot to say, but I've found that no one seems to care much about what I say anyway. Sometimes I actually offend people without meaning to. So, it's just better if I remain quiet.
Thank you for this info. I've recently been considering that I might have undiagnosed autism and/or ADHD. Nearly all of these hidden signs apply to me. I intend to get formally tested, but videos like these have given me an insight to the feelings I've had all my life of not thinking the way others do.
Thank you for this video, it was very validating and gave me deep insight into myself (with the positive attitude towards so many stigmatized features that made me feel internally inadequate) in a new light. Thank you 😊
There was an episode of Family Guy where Stewie yelled, " There's something wrong with the house: I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!" I felt that... (definitely not a sign of hyposensitivity.)
Thank you so much for this! All of your videos are fantastic have really helped me understand my autistic son. This video in particular really resonated with me and I'm truly understanding that yeah, I'm probably autistic. So, I just wanted to say thank you! Keep 'em comin'!
Autistic people are the best. We are honest, get straight to the point, don’t waste time with idle chatter. We tell the truth and have a strong sense of justice. We don’t like talking on the phone and gossiping for hours. We don’t like to bother people and burden them. We don’t make fun of people or want to hurt people or fight with them. We feel for the underdog. We are passionate about things I’m glad I’m autistic.
Whoa. I resonate with your comment so much. Thank you.
Embracing it too even though I’m at almost 64, I’m okay . Working through the many losses as I learn to create a life that’s rewarding for me . 🦋
I'm 54, very autisistic, I love it I'm a superhuman. I'm not a hater and I can do some pretty amazing things, I'm on to my 6th album on spotify, I can sculpt using plastic waste, I can play almost 40 different instruments, I am kind and do not let bully's win. I think the difference between neuro typical people and neuro divergent people is we see the bigger picture and we don't hate
This is such a cope take. Autism means you have a dysfunctional brain and it's actually a huge problem for a lot of people with autism.
I hope I can find this understanding some day. today I just feel worthless.
Only 51 out of 55. I was pretty close to being autistic, there for a minute.
Only full marks get to pass here! 😂
But now that you counted your tally, I want to count mine, even though I just watched the video. But I didn’t keep a tally. I just kind of used this video as a podcast while swinging around in Spider-Man 2.
😅😅😅
@@mclovin6829 😂🤣😅 Gifted with humor!
@@mclovin6829 you can try again next week.
Haha yes indeed
Here's the whole list. Will finish it when I can.
1. Preference for Solitude. Driving long distances alone with my own thoughts is the most peaceful feeling for me. I let the auto-pilot part of my brain drive and it allows me to daydream.
2. Sensory Sensitivity. Even on cloudy days I need to have my sunglasses on outdoors. I must escape when I hear multiple women talking at the same time. I love silence, but if there's a
background hum or buzz I have to have music playing to drown it out.
3. Unique Communication Styles. I'm a technician, and talk like a technician.
4. Inward Focus and Special Interests. Yep
5. Masking and Camouflaging.
6. Emotional Regulation Challenges.
7. Difficulty with Change in Routine. Yep
8. Literal Thinking. I use that as comedy all the time.
9. Attention to Detail. I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard "Why would you even notice that?"
10. Hyperfocus and Flow State.
11. Difficulty Reading Social Cues.
12. Monotone Speech Patterns. I'm a technician. Monotone is normal.
13. Strong Sense of Justice and Fairness. Yep
14. Clumsiness and Coordination Issues. Nope
15. Preference for Written Communication.
16. Strong Memory and Knowledge Retention. Yep
17. Difficulty with Abstract Concepts.
18. Difficulty Initiating & Maintaining Conversations. Absolutely
19. Sensory Seeking Behaviors.
20. Directness and Honesty. To my detriment.
21. Difficulties in Understanding Social Hierarchies.
22. High Levels of Anxiety.
23. Exceptional Long-Term Memory. Yep
24. Strong Preference for Familiarity. Yep
25. Sensitivity to Emotional Atmospheres. More so the older I get.
26. Strong Need for Predictability. Yep
27. Intense Interests and Expertise. My friend use to call me Cliff. (Cliff Clayvin from Cheers)
28. Difficulty with Eye Contact.
29. Literal Honesty. Ohh Yeah
30. Resistance to Being Touched. With Strangers.
31. Hyperlexia. My 7 y/o Grandson just finished 1st grade. He can read 87 WPM with 100% comprehension. He read an Atlas and now knows all the state capitals.
32. Strong Moral Compass.
33. Distinctive Learning Styles.
34. Difficulty with Small Talk. Yep
35. Strong Visual Memory.
36. Tendency to Monologue. Yep
37. Difficulty with Implicit Rules & Social Norms.
38. Enhanced Pattern recognition. Yep
39. Difficulty with Time Management. Yep
40. Low Tolerance for Ambiguity. Yep
41. Strong Need for Autonomy. Yep
42. Hyperfocus on Justice and Fairness.
43. Difficulty with Ambiguous Instructions. Yep
44. Preference for Logical and Structured Environments. Yep
45. High Sensitivity to Criticism.
46. Difficulty with Impulse Control. Yep I'm a binge eater.
47. Memory of Significant Personal Events. I remember my older brother's 1st day of school and how he had to be dragged in. I was 5 at the time.
48. Difficulty Interpreting Figurative Language.
49. Strong Preference for Specific Topics. Yep
50. Reliance on Daily Activities.
51. Preference for Non Verbal Communication.
52. Sensitivity to Textures. In Spades. I don't wear wool, sweaters, or turtlenecks. I cut the tag out of every shirt I've ever owned. No doctor has gotten a tongue depressor in my mouth
since I was very young. I actually learned to move my tongue down to avoid it.
53. Difficulty with Multi-Step Instructions.
54. Preference for Solo Activities. Yep
55. High Levels of Creativity.
Don't know why I'm the first one to like this comment but thank you so much for providing the list. You're a savior.
Ur the best dude
@@markc2643 thanks 👍
My list varies only in distribution...
@markc2643 very good tyvm
FULL LIST
1 Preference for solitude
2 Sensory sensitivity
3 Unique communication styles:
direct, honest, blunt,
4 Inward focus on special interests
5 Masking & camouflaging
6 Emotional regulation: alexithymia
7 Difficulty with change in routine
8 Literal POV
9 Attention to detail
10 Hyper-focus, flow state
11 Difficulty with social cues
12 Monotone speech pattern
13 Strong sense of fairness & justice
14 Clumsiness, coordination challenges
15 Preference for written communication
hate talking on phone
16 Strong memory & knowledge retention
17 Difficulty with abstract concepts
Hate hypothetical questions
18 Difficulty with conversations
Don’t do small talk
19 Sensory seeking behaviors
20 Directness & honesty (blunt)
21 Difficulty with social hyerarchy
22 High anxiety
23 Exceptional long-term memory
24 Preference for familiarity (safe people)
25 Sensitivity to emotional atmospheres
26 Strong need for predictability
27 Intense interests and expertise
28 Difficulty with eye contact
29 Literal honesty
30 Resistance to being touched
31 Hyperlexia (early reader)
32 Strong moral compass
33 Distinctive learning styles
34 Difficulty with small talk
35 Strong visual memory
36 Tendency to monologue
37 Difficulty w/implicit rules & norms
38 Enhanced pattern recognition
39 Difficulty w/time management
40 Low tolerance for ambiguity
41 Strong need for autonomy
42 Hyperfocus on justice & fairness
43 Difficulty w/ambiguous instructions
44 Prefer logical & structured environments
45 High sensitivity to criticism
46 Difficulty with impulse control
47 Memory of significant personal events
48 Difficulty with figurative language
49 Preference for specific topics
50 Reliance on regular daily activities
51 Prefer non-verbal communication
52 Sensitivity to texture
53 Difficulty w/multi-step instructions
54 Preference for solo activities
55 High level of creativity
56. The tendency to repeat topics.
Several of these points are the same thing worded slightly differently. I do that all the time.
I've been living like this my entire life thinking I was just broken. It's a relief to hear this. I don't feel like I'm crazy anymore.
i know that feeling
it's cool and healing to know you're not the only one feeling broken.
it can suck sometimes, but i wouldn't like to be anything but me
Monologuing: I’m an expert, you asked me a question. The answer takes more than one sentence, but I get interrupted giving context to the answer I’m about to give and never get to answer the question. EVERYTHING is more complicated than it appears on the surface, but that’s the maximum depth for most people.
This response is perfection.
Story of my life. Some days, I feel really bad for the engineers that report to me. They get all the content!
I still have one engineer that reports to me (who I am fairly confident is ND) who does not get enough context and asks “why”. 😂
Exactly!
Totally.
Re: no context - The health profession is rife with this for me. I find it a depressing, dehumanising, draining crapshoot.
Refusing to ask follow up questions and ask or listen to contexts. Refusing to explore options.
I saw a comment on reddit that soo describes this attitude - in a different context - Be curt, unhelpful and smile sweetly while declining to... (do tasks in that context).
Great comments and theories here.
Thanks all. Sending hugs.
THIS!!! YES!!! It’s exhausting.
I hit the jackpot yesterday. I despise small talk, so i have avoided hair dressers for years cos they are professionals of small talk. I pushed myself and went to a hair dresser yesterday, and she didnt do any small talk. Just cut my hair in silence. It was so good.
Ahah, I'm so bad in social interactions, EVEN the hairdressers don't know how to talk to me, so they stay silent. 😁
dont have much of a problem with small talk, just going to the hairdresser in general sucks so hard lmfao
OMG! I can relate sooooo much! I dreaded hairdressers whole life until I managed to find one who I was OK with. But over the years she'd started to try to chit-chatt with me, resulting to me quitting with her after eight years. Now I'm anxious about finding another one once again :D Oh my, the struggle is real!!
Sometimes the people that cut my hair avoid small talk. I like it sometimes I think but my favorite appointment was when there was none. I was just able to focus on my hair being cut which was actually kinda relaxing to me. Probably sorta what my cat feels like when I pet him.
Haha manda panda is such a cool name 🤣
You described me to perfection! I get lots of anxiety with speaking on the phone. I just can’t do it….. But I can text forever and be very elaborate when texting. I am also a loner!
I actually don't get much anxiety being on the phone; but I often find it hard to escape from and kind of annoying. Actually initiating a phone call however, that is an extremely difficult barrier to cross.
Me too
Same.
It is a double edge sword for me because when I am wanting to talk it ends up being unreadable walls of text because I have to write every last detail to ensure the right context is used since text lacks body language and tone of voice and well let's just use the example of "F you, what the F are you doing around here, lets get out of here" can translate to a hostile version of what it literally says, like stay the F away, but it can also translate to a much much more friendly "What? What are you doing here, long time no see, let's go grab lunch and a brewski" all dependent on tone of voice and body language. As a result Most my writing ends up being way longer to the point of aggravation because typing on a phone screen sucks and so ends up being easier just calling even though calling has it's own flaws at least I am not writing a 10 page report in order to convey 3 sentences. As a result depending on what I am talking about I may prefer text because it gives me time to reply, but I may prefer just calling because it would take me 40 minutes to write what would take 30 seconds to say.
But you are not alone！❤
I am 52 and am so good at camouflaging that when I finally (finally!) got the courage to mention my personal austism suspicions to my doctor, he told me that there was no way I could possibly be autistic because I am too sociable. He then proceeded to accuse me of wanting a diagnosis so thaf I could go on a disability pension and get NDIS.
I have not mentioned it again. I cried when I got home. I was so shocked that he could possibly think that.
I'm sticking with self-diagnosis, and being out-and-proud ND with my friend (autistic too). They get me.
Your doctor is not a nice person. I’d find a new one. But that’s me
@@rongravelle603 yes I know. I am looking for a new one, but it's hard. Can I trust someone with that again?
@@grooviechickieyes you can. And so what if you want the DSP? Getting it has changed my life. It's like having a Universal Basic Income.
@@inikainika1523 true! I'm so glad it helped you.
Well I was shocked because it was not on my mind at all. I was genuinely telling him my suspicions and asking if I should do something about it regarding assessment to confirm or deny. It REALLY hurt.
i am really sorry you experienced that 😓😓he obviously knows nothing about autistics because there is different levels of it. and i believe you 😊
Yes, when something has deprived me of my daily activity, it feels like grief, like someone intentionally was out to hurt me. It's irrational and I know it, and I manage the feeling as an adult. But the feeling is still there.
It must have stemmed from something that happened when you were in your earliest years of age…it will be something you could cleave to your bosom and respect the feeling and maybe on some level there can be healing.❤️🩹
Good grief! I scored a clear, unambiguous 55 out of 55. I was only diagnesed 1 1/2 weeks ago but so much is making sense to me. At church ladt Sunday, i shared my diagnosis with 2 of my best friends who were sittIng on either side of me. The one on the left said, "Welcome home! So am i!" My friend to the right said, "i believe I am too." I have never felt so safe and included before. Then i discovered that a very young, gifted musician who always chooses to sit next to me at Bible Study also has ASD. He's 23. I'm 73! God has been so good to me 😊. I still feel overwhelmed by this unacccustomed acceptance and understanding.
“Just like you can’t ask a Mac to be a PC”. What a wonderful analogy! We just do things differently!
Don't challenge me to a good time. I'll make it happen lol MAC running DOS XD
@@Doperooni true but for how long or how well wil it run DOS...
not only that, DOS... really? that's the lowest grade or bare minimum of calling something a pc.
it will always be less is what im saying.
@@VintageCR OS/2? BeOS? It was a joke anyway lol
@Doperooni I don’t think you get the point
You can't 'ask' a Mac to be a PC, because it IS already a PC.
PC is just a personal computer, the OS isn't specified yet. It's like if you try to ask an autistic/neurotypical brain to be a brain.
In the End the OS matters.
(You could e.g. install Linux, macOS, Windows or any other kind of operating system, and it would be still (your/a) personal computer.)
Rudeness is subjective. Expecting me to lie is rude.
Neurotypicals commonly lack the ability to handle any conversation that doesn’t also stroke their ego.
AMEN! NTs need you to do that stroking because they can't handle straight-up direct talk.
Actually, rudeness is based on a set of unspoken (I think) social rules. I have one child who was born knowing these rules, one child learned most of them (a very observant person). They can choose to follow those rules or not, choose when and if to be rude. I know a few of the obvious ones that I was taught as a child by my shocked mother (she never understood how I could be so socially clueless). The problem is that some neurotypicals are deliberately rude and enjoy being rude to shock people or to get attention or to be mean. Then along comes an autistic person who behaves in a way the unspoken rules have named rude and the neurotypicals jump to the conclusion that the autistic person is being deliberately rude. I have found humour and goofing off is the best camouflage for me. I'm sure a lot of people think I'm completely loopy, but at least I'm not rude, hahahahahaah!
An autistic person once told me that all neurotypicals are just boring.
Its true I learned with some people to only tell them what they want to hear.
this.
Isn't THAT the truth. I can still recall how awesome it felt to have a good real conversation with someone that fully disagreed with me, but was intelligent. Gawd nothin like it.
27:17 yesterday I sat outside when a couple of people I barely know asked me if they could sit with me and I said: *”of course! but please don’t include me in any conversation!”* 😇
My autism discovery was in May '23, at 65 years of age. After a year-plus of reading, watching, thinking and, most of all, revisiting a lifetime's worth of experience, I'm reaching, irresistibly, the conclusion that at the core of autism is the absence of a "matrix."
The absence is relative, sometimes more, sometimes less (corresponding, I would bet, to the degree one is "high-functioning"), but in all cases the essential quality is matrixlessness. The absence of a core schematic. Again, more or less, but some degree of absence.
You might call it "matrix amnesia." The absence of an enduring perceptive-cognitive blueprint, so that, in a way, every socio-psychological-sensory outing is uncharted territory all over again.
Think, for instance, of hyper-reaction to sensory input, also hyper-vigilance. Every time a sudden, sharp noise (like a child's screech) happens in a large group setting, you practically leap out of your skin in "What's THAT?!" alarm...even though this has happened a million times before and everybody knows perfectly well what it is.
And every visit to the supermarket is kind of the first time you've ever been in a supermarket. No, not because it's real amnesia, not because you don't know where you are or that you're supposed to pay for your purchases, but because there's this pervasive sense of foreignness to it all and unpredictability. The surface appearances are familiar, yes, but you don't really believe them. Because to you they are not a "matrix," they're just what things look like today and you're not really sure what the rules are.
It reminds me of my titanic struggles with arithmetic in school. And when the frustrated teacher would tell me the answer, "8x7 is 56! FIFTY-SIX!", I vividly recall, as if from inside my brain at that moment, staring at her, and her frustration, uncomprehending two things: 1) why she was so exercized about this number, and, 2) why "56," even if it was the answer today, would still be the answer tomorrow....
This is where masking comes from, of course: performing, externally, the dance you see everybody around you doing, even if you can't penetrate the "Why?", because, well, how else can you survive among people you simply HAVE to survive among? This matrixlessness relates, I dare say, to every single one of the traits you bring up here. I will resist the temptation to discuss each one, and it's a big temptation! 🙂
I am in my own humble way, and with no particular schedule (though "by next year" would be nice) trying to write a book about this, my own personal chronicle that, I'd like to think, might help others. Maybe it will never be a book, maybe just a long blog. We'll see. In any case it's really helping ME, for now, thinking through all this. It's a fascinating journey of both discovery and healing. If I do finally write and publish it, its title will be "Visceral; My Discovery and Reminiscences of Autism."
Matrix amnesia, love it! This resonates with me for sure. Another way of describing bottom up thinking, where we need to gather the details and specifics before we can develop a hypothesis about what’s going on. Whereas neurotypicals seem to jump right to the big picture.
@@katharinegates2917 Yes!
About writing your book . . . I started my book in 2001 and I am in the same age-bracket as you. I initially started writing my story as an autobiography but could never figure out how to make it interesting enough. A few years ago, I had an epiphany; I changed the story to a Novel, which allowed additional creative freedom and allowed for greater character anonymity. I then wrote for 3 days straight with minimal sleep. But, it is still a work in progress until the creative urge grabs me again.
@@shuswapbcoutdoors8652 🙂
@@katharinegates2917 i agree, except instead of the 'big picture' i'd say they _arbitrarily_ choose a kind of 'middle picture' because not only they refuse to examine how certain details contribute to something, they can at the same time refuse to consider what role the object of their focus might play on a greater scale
i say arbitrarily because to me it often feels like it, but it more often than not has to do with immediate practicalities concerning survival of some chosen circle either on short or long term, depending on the mysterious variations of temperament, personality and prevalent customs.
meanwhile, i have my own individually biased levels of analysis that I'd hope others would adopt, but the real thing is, ( i'm falling asleep rn if i don't go do I'll just leave it like this! )
I love hugs and affectionate gestures.
I can relate to so many of these 55 signs, not all of them, but most. Saying that, it is validating to see so many of my traits condensed into one video. This is a lot of information and I will watch this video several times to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
It’s interesting how many of these are also common with ADHD. I have ADHD and almost all of these resonate to the extent that I keep finding myself saying, “Yes! OMG Yes, TOTALLY!! Thank you!!” And I’m by myself watching this. I’m sure it’s possible I could also have a bit of autism, but with so much symptom overlap I’m sure I’ll never suss that out.
Yes. I have ADHD and a lot of them are the same or very similar
Yup. Ever since my lil ol' ADHD self started watching Orion, I've said the same thing. Funny thing is, I started watching to better understand my ASD boyfriend- which I have, but I better understand myself too. I find it fascinating that he and I in respect to our ASD and ADHD are polar opposites in some areas and completely converge in others.
Small talk has a purpose. It's a verbal surface level conversation where 90% of the communication in non verbal body language where two people are evaluating each other to see if they conversation should end or go deeper. Psychologist online explained this. That explains why I never understood small talk and even understanding it dose mean I can do it
small talk is the human form of sniffing butts.
That is exactly it @chrismaxwell1624 but you don't have to do it. Just know a few key starter subjects. I have learnt that they will do the rest. You don't have to be interested but it makes them more comfortable and the next thing you know they are telling you the stories of their lives which I do find interesting.
Seriously, if you ever feel lonely or bored, sit at a bus stop with old people waiting and ask " has the bus been yet? It seems a bit late, doesn't it?" You'll be amazed what you will find out 😁 Or sit midway on a country bus. You don't have to join in, just smile when someone gets on. They will all know each other and so will you by the time you get to the destination. 😄
I love studying people.
Makes me wonder why my colleagues insist on small talk in online chat form since we cannot even see each other! It's rude. 😅
The only thing I understand avout small talk; talking about the weather is socially acceptable, but I definitelt can't use that trick to iniate conversation, because it's soooo weird! And it's soooo difficult to fake being interested with that object.
I'm 33yo, and still didn't manage to spot what the other subjects for small talk are. Maybe talking about the holidays? Would explain why my coworkers tell they went travelled on holidays, but don't want to answer my questions about their travel - they want to keep the thing superficial, meanwhile I'm really to connect by digging into something I though they wanted to talk about?
Loath small talk 😂
I love videos like this. Content like this led me to strongly suspect that I was actually autistic & this year at 45 I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist here in the UK. My experience makes a lot more sense now & I’m so glad and relieved to know. So to Orion & others who make this style of content; thank you, truly! X
100%, you are in my head. i can so relate to most all of these! Thank you for understanding me Orion. I feel freedom.
Does anyone else find it very annoying that the internet used to be filled with well written how-to guides on any subject you could think of, frequently with diagrams, and now it's all youtube videos with someone explaining how to do the thing? It drives me nuts...
Having to communicate with the ai that never gets my question when I need help, then after trying to reword the question several times, finally getting a person, who then gives the same default answer. By then, I’m pissed, and end up sending pics with arrows, specific indicators, etc. I miss the days where I can bring something in and have the human help me right away.
@@Cnsalmoni Ugggghhhh... The endless phone trees just to find out that I already know more about my issue than the human I finally reach because I'm not about to make a phone call without hours of research first. My propane guy caused immediate concern by calculating 80% if 150 gallons *wrong*
Yes! Whenever I want to learn something and look it up I always get sick of trying to wade through all the videos. I don't want to watch a 5 minute video that I will forget as soon as it's over. Give me an article that I can read in 30 seconds and refer back to as I need.
I can relate to a lot of these traits but I just wanted to say that the second you started discussing impulse control and how as autistics we suffer from impulse control , my mind went straight to the topic of addiction the moment you said it too 😱🤯 great minds... LoL. Seriously, I have been wondering about the correlation between addiction and mental health issues, and more recently, autism. Mostly due to my own personal struggles with misdiagnosis and over medication, leading to addiction and now recovery and realizing the fact that I am autistic and ADHD not bipolar. Thanks again so much for your videos and insights! I've been able to start working on my way to a healthier place and I definitely have content creators like yourself to thank. I do hope you will explore the correlation between addiction and autism more in the future.
In my research and experience, this probably comes from ADHD and lack of dopamine or needing high dopamine rewards before getting involved with a task. Most tasks are not high dopamine. Phenylalanine can help as it converts to tyrosine and then dopamine. I prefer it over taking tyrosine. But, of course, it won't cure your ADHD. It will only help you manage symptoms. But this explains why a lot of us become alcohol or drug addicts, or addicted to weed, cigarettes, food, porn, masturbation, or sex. Experimentation and learning to balance neurotransmitters is probably worth the struggle to learn. My current route is through supplementation, and slowly building gong (experience) in a meditation practice to be able to balance my neurotransmitters by regulating my own nervous system at will. This takes decades of consistent effort but is probably the most rewarding path I've found.
Thank you, yeah. I’m with you on the misdiagnosis. Rampant it seems.
Uneducated doctors not trained enough and government that seriously needs an adjustment is an understatement. Love from 🇨🇦
So grateful for this wonderful information. Still waiting for my testing , it was a joke.
As an adult who’s been struggling since the diagnosis at 40 ish. Now almost 64 , I’m still struggling with not being able to access a diagnosis of autism.
Thank you 🇨🇦✌️⚖️☯️
I can relate to everything. I am being evaluated for autism on friday... looking forward to it. Been having a really hard time for all my life, and finally something makes sense to me. This video makes it pretty clear to me.
“The doors haven’t moved in my house”.
I assure you, they HAVE. I know this to be true because the doors and all furniture moves in my house all the time. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t run into them constantly. 🤣
If a door doesn't move it's a wall.
Which is funny for me because I hit corners of furnitures and walls more in daylight than I do at night in the dark.
It's so weird... I can go through a dimly lit room or hallway with zero issue, but as soon as the incandescents come on - SMACK! There goes my pinky toe.
Watching every stand-up I could find online and awaiting the perfect time to drop comedy on others became my socializing strategy in school. Comedy can start friendships and calm tense situations if applied properly.
As a mother of an autistic teenager, I am glad to hear an adult describe my son. It makes us feel less different, less isolated. Thank you!
Small talk… I asked my husband about this recently “why do ppl initiate with small talk?”. Apparently it’s a way for the other person to get a sense about you, how you think and what state of mind you’re in.
Maybe it’s cuz literature has been a passion of mine since childhood but I do enjoy poetry and using analogies. But overall I strongly agree that I prefer written communication and avoid telephone calls unless absolutely needed. When I have a call with a family member I try to encourage them to use video. I like to think that it minimises the chances the other person will misunderstand me.
What I’ve loved about the discovery of adhd and autism is that I now have a reason / cause behind my quirks, experiences and struggles.
I’ve struggled with friendships thru out my life. It’s like there’s an invisible brick, social conventions, that I can’t see but I keep tripping up on it.
I have learnt to improve my social interactions a bit, and I make sure to greet and ask how the other person is. But if they ask me how I’m doing, I tell them lol 😂
LOL!!!! I HATE THE PHONE, TOO!!! I can handle talking to my dad and mom by phone. No one else. I just HATE THE PHONE!
@@christinakuhn5739 I don't mind talking on it.. but I hate when it makes a noise. Mostly because they mostly don't matter, spam. It demands too much attention. I don't 'ring the notification bell' for any YT channel.
I've gathered so much information and experience in computers and IT that I have a job.
I'd call that expertise.
I'm very grateful for it.
I get emotional and overwhelmed watching these videos @Orion
I was diagnosed one year ago and I've fought it as I thought it was basically a death sentence to be autistic.
I've started to come to terms with it.
I suddenly understand myself so much better and things make more sense.
Thank you for making these videos about autism.
"You may die before we finish our monologue. You're welcome." Haa that's great.
I am a 64 year old man, and I know I have autism. I have been on a waiting list for diagnosis for years. I have had issues since I was a very small child. This video has been the most concise for me, as so many of the factors described relate to me 100%. I am dreading an assessment where I am told that I don't have autism - when I already know I do. I have other symptoms not mentioned. One of them is that I always glaze over when listening to information I am trying to absorb. I have to rewind You Tube videos and re-read pages of a book. Another one is that I get overwhelmed if I am given too many choices for something. That causes sensory overload too. The list of issues is endless, and I am really disturbed by low-resonance sounds and rattles in cars etc. My hearing is far too acute, and I can even hear bats communicating with each other. I have subscribed straight away, and look forward to watching other content.
I am totally with you on the extra list of symptoms. Re-reading pages - tick! Being asked to choose what food I want (especially in a supermarket) is a real problem for me (overload time). On the few occasions I am brave enough to go to a pub now I have to leave quite early as I can hear every conversation in the pub as loud as the one I'm meant to be involved in. I would also add interviews where they ask multiple questions in one go - I have enough trouble with one question (even when I know the answer), but having to think about three questions at the same time - impossible.
I paused and rewinded so many times! My mind kept going to my personal experiences and I just couldn't concentrate! 😂😀 But I got through it because it is important and very validating. I feel closer to our community, too! I am forever grateful for you to put this out there. You represent our community extremely well, my friend! Thank you. Take care! 😀
I resonated quite well with a great many of these signs. Thank you! I'm going to look into getting officially diagnosed now. (Liked and subscribed! )
As an AuDHD, written communication helps both with processing time AND with my unfortunately poor memory. This is even more beneficial when you consider the fact that not all neurotypicals have good memories or are, in fact, honest. So I can reread a conversation and establish a number of valuable things… that I complied with all the details I was asked to complete in a task, that I was told a certain thing, what time I said or did a thing based upon when the interaction took place, that I told another person something when they say I didn’t (because “you’re so forgetful”), etc. It can facilitate all sorts of things and offer legal protection in transactions or in restraining orders, custody disputes, you name it. I fail to see the faults, really.
I not only feel deeply seen, you articulated things about me I’d never focused on before. It gives me ways to advocate for myself and my needs I didn’t have before. Thank you, Orion. You’ve made a positive difference for me.
The more i learn about autism the more I relate. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD and anxiety disorder. After going through some challenges in my life that caused me to really struggle with my identity for a few years I've gotten to a place where I'm rediscovering myself and I'm realizing that I've been treated a certain way whenever I tried showing up as myself that caused me to depersonalize. I didn't understand until recently how I got to that point. Changes in routine are incredibly difficult. I liked myself but society didn't accept me. Behaviors that were deemed inappropriate like interrupting because i didn't know when to speak. Talking to myself outloud makes people uncomfortable which i can understand to an extent but it helps me self regulate when I'm feeling overwhelmed. When I'm learning something new i need to repeat the steps outloud to slow my thinking down. Autism just makes so much more sense to me than OCD. All the things i "obsessed" were things I I did out of enjoyment or self soothing. I had the occasional thought if I don't do this thing something bad will happen but it was managable. I remember asking if it was OCD trait not liking the texture of cardboard or the smell and they told me it could be. It's interesting to self reflect on things you were told were something else in a different light. Going to back to authenticity. I now understand why I hated doing sales so much. I can't straight-up lie to someone about a product I think is a waste of money. If it was a product I could back 100% up then no problem!
@@lindseycassella3015 yea in no doctor but I think you may have been misdiagnosed. I think if you have ADHD, OCD, and anxiety those are symptoms or traits of autism. Would be worth getting another diagnosis
11:00 God, I felt that in my soul. Talking on the phone is so stressful for me. I already have trouble communicating with people and when I can't even see their facial expressions or anything I'm completely lost. 😭
Okay, you had me at pattern recognition and flow state!!
This helps me understand my characteristics and I can also send it to people who need to understand Autism better!
Yes, yes yes. This is one comfort to me when pretty much no one around me sees or understands. It is amazing that being truthful and seeing small details that end up saving a situation are not acknowledged or even wanted. Sorry, just had all this happen today.
Orion, whenever I want to feel better I go to your channel! Thank you!
When I first started working at a science communication hotline, the hardest part wasn’t learning the complex info we had to convey, it was learning how to have phone conversations. My coworker described the language I used as “unsettling” once. I ended up writing and rehearsing a bunch of scripts instead of organically having convos, which has made things easier. I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but this is one of the things that is making me consider getting a diagnosis lol
The part about interrupting...I learned early on that it is considered rude according to social etiquette because of how people react sometimes and how I've been disciplined for it, yet I have never been able to suppress it. Conversing with other neurodivergent people is a breath of fresh air though. I wish I could get a few typicals in my life to watch this video 😢
Thank you so much for presenting this list (I am 55/55) and giving clarifying examples of what each means.
You made me feel like I was actually watching myself as I watched you in the video. I’ve never ever identified with anyone in my life until I watched you in your video.
Your video has presented the facts that I must finally accept that I am most probably on the spectrum.
Love the video! I want to add an alternative autistic perspective on phone calls, bc I know I can't be the only one lol.
I am the opposite regarding preferring text. I prefer phone calls to both texting and video calls. Texting takes up SO much of my attention, and other people in the room won't leave me alone when I do it. Emojis are confusing. One of the best parts of talking on the phone is that there are no facial expressions to interpret. On the phone, no eye contact is required or even possible. (Zoom calls getting popular is how I realized that this is why I prefer the phone.) Meanwhile, texting has facial expressions that don't always make sense and secret punctuation rules.
Also, if I take an hour or two to think and respond after reading a text, apparently, that's "leaving someone on read" and rude. Meanwhile, a pause over the phone makes it clear that I need to think. If I'm worried about getting confused, I can write notes during the conversation, and no one can see that I'm doing it. I also have a hard time switching from using my phone screen to existing in meatspace. Switching apps is also hard. This means I can't easily take notes on my phone. The phone keeps me in meatspace, and my hand are free to take notes or do whatever I want (knitting, doodling, cooking, etc.)
Maybe this is my ADHD running some of the show, but I love that over the phone, no one can see how rude and distracted I look, and I'm not seeing any body language or emojis to misinterpret, so I can really focus in on what's going on.
2:35 I had a boss tell me in 2018 my emails were too brusque and unprofessional. I was literally just trying to directly ask for information.
16:14 also. The finger/nail picking. Since I can remember I do that. And I don’t know how to describe it other than it makes me feel calm.
Great video! I love this structure of the video when everything is said in bullet or numbered points 😊
Ive become super good at recalling where my adhd husband leaves his keys or wallet or whatever because i can remember exactly where i saw it last and can recall those memories really clearly. Almost like a whole picture my brian took of the iteam in question. It always makes me feel like im not all that useless. :)
I am forever grateful for your videos! Thank you for finding the words to express what's going on inside many of our minds and bodies. I just thought I was different...well, not really. People say I am. Only after deep diving into Autism has my entire life now made sense. Now, I understand that I am different. I wouldn't want to be any other way, honestly. 🎉🎉🎉
"Only 51 out of 55. I was pretty close to being autistic, there for a minute." Autism, and its traits are all on a spectrum. I too have most of these traits to varying degrees. The analytical aspect of my autism made it very easy to teach myself how to fright. I hate real fighting, but I learned so I can better control the monster with-in myself. At 67, I learned that I am autistic. So much so, that it cannot be hidden. If I would have known earlier in my life, it would have made it to where I could better understand why I am so different. Learning that I am autistic was such a blessing. As a result, I am now no longer ashamed of this gift. I now also better understand neurotypicals, as they operate within a system of similarities, just as we do. The neurotypicals auto-pilot (genetic programing) that they so frequently rely on, makes them predictable.
*** Thank you, Orion Kelly; The quality content in your efforts have truly enhanced many people’s lives. I snapped at my wife in front of her mother. It was one brief moment, then I caught myself. No explanation or apology from me could take the distain off of her face. She now saw me as a monster and a liar. This went on for weeks. I played her one of your videos. Hearing it from you made all of the difference. Because of your insightful explanations, she now understands the challenges that I face. And because of you, she treats me with respect.
This is one of your best done videos ever! I wish I could hand it out to every person I meet and get them to watch it so maybe they have some clue of what they are getting into before we decide to interact or not 😂
I was diagnosed with ADHD half a year ago at the age of 31, and I can more or less relate to almost every sign. Not sure if I only have ASD, ADHD, or both now, lol...
Haha same :'D I can't tell where those disgnoses can be seperated. Someone said: when you take ADHD-meds and your life gets easier, it's ADHD. If it stays hard and you still feel weird, it's possibly (also) autism 😆
@@dn3305 seriously? I thought it was only ADHD and the meds I took actually didn't work as I thought they would work, and I don't know why but my meds kind of made me more dreamer, I mean I do a lot of daydreaming but for sure it increase the amont of it. I am so confused lol
@@AslCelik-yf1lu oh that sounds really dreamy :'D maybe other meds are more for you? I learned, that meds for more noradrenaline and dopamine can help me to get more things done and everythings a little easier without the feeling of drifting away. But I did not take other ADHD-meds, still in my trial
If you include the 55 or so traits that i had in the last list to this list , I gotta be topping 100. ( there's obviously overlap, just being dramatic but I am clearly autistic ) When I went to my GP for a diagnosis I was put on anti depressants ....twice, then signed up to online cbt, then given 8 sessions of counseling. Eventually i got diagnosed with adhd privately which sent me down the path towards autism. I returned to my GP to ask about getting an assessment and then he sent me to my local mental health clinic with a anxiety disorder query. Thankfully, luckily, the psychiatrist that i was sent to also just so happened to diagnose children (my GP did not know) and she instantly recognised.
And now they want GP's to diagnose. Same thing being pushed over here in Ireland now. Seems like they're rolling out that strategy you talked about for all neurodivergent groups.
I'm part of a group connected with one of the largest charities related to this stuff here. When i pointed out the problems I was basically told to stop being so negative. I should feel lucky with what they've done. I was told this by other neurodivergent folks who just so happen to work for said charity.
I'm so tired of how people are these days. Lies after lies and gaslighting when you call them out. It's everywhere ;(
Oh my gosh Orion! Thank you so much! I finally feel like I am not stupid, not slow, not clumsy,etc.! You are a lifesaver!
All so relatable, it is videos like that this that make me wonder how it wasn't picked up earlier (I'm one that figured it out and then sort out a diagnosis)
For me, I understand hypothetical questions and can see their potential utility. But there are two problems: first, there is never any way to guarantee that somebody’s answer to a hypothetical question would be proven to be accurate, no matter how sincerely their response. That sort of defeats the purpose. The other issue I have with hypotheticals is that they are highly ambiguous. I need *all* the information before I can even begin to know how to answer. In an interview when someone says “What would you do in situation X?” I find myself completely unable to answer until I’m satisfied that I have every relevant detail: who else will be there? What time of day is it? What mood am I in? What mood are the other people in? How old am I when this happens? Are the other people involved honest or dishonest? Are there rules related to this topic that I am unaware of or that currently don’t apply to me? Long story short: I need you to fill in all the details in order to know what *you* are really asking me.
Ditto me too,was talking with my wife the other day,she was telling me a story about her daughter working on a dairyfarm,driving down a lane and getting stuck,I had to ask was it a gravel lane or tracks in a paddock,she said it doesn't matter,she got stuck,I asked also what was she driving a tractor or a ute,she said it doesn't matter,lol oh yes it does to ME ,otherwise I can't get my head around things 😊
This was a wonderful presentation! I haven't commented for a while, but I really enjoy your videos, and learn a lot from them.😊
LOL. So many things. I did actually laugh out loud at the “tendency to monologue.” When someone asks me a question about something I am very interested in, I now warn them I can talk about that thing forever. I tell them to stop me whenever they want to, just say so, because I am not going to stop on my own. I tell them it’s fine to do that. (I smile.) And then I ask if they do actually want to talk about that thing. If I get the go ahead, I’m off until they get up the nerve to stop me. Some do better at that than others. 😀
You finally motivated me to reach out to my local meeting group for autism
Thank you
Thanks Orion for doing this video, I will be watching it many times over!
I definitely prefer writing. Especially responding to someone else. Me trying to verbally respond.... Ugh.
I love the way you explain and define all the “hidden traits of Autism in adults. You are so articulate in your methods and at the same time make it so interesting especially with the quirky humor which takes the edge off the viewer making those who watch who actually have autism feel warm and some what normal… I like you.
You have my support absolutely . 💯😊
Bingo! My brain just celebrated 55 times. Although we are all different, and as I am just at the start of my own unmasking, I can feel the relevance in my freaking bones for each one. Unknowingly masking for a half century has trained me to exist uncomfortably, and actually seem to contradict many of your listed attributes. I don't know any better! But I can say Hallelujah, how good it will feel to finally be direct, to flush the small talk, and to be alone when I want to be alone. Thank you SO much Orion! 🙏
I'm so glad that I finally got to know myself better through these videos by autistic people. You're doing us a huge favor!!❤
Thank you for this. I just got tested and I am waiting for my results. Hopefully I'll get answers.
This video describes me for sure.
I'm late adult diagnosis of Autism and boy let me tell yah how hard it is to work the medical field when people are wishy washy. I can't stand hypotheticals, I work in absolutes and no one understands why. When people ask as me "how come you are so ridged" and I respond "why are you so indecisive?"
Thanks. It's great to hear so many things that make autism such a likely fit for me. I am aware of most of the autistic tendencies by now, but a long list like this helps remind me. It paints a clear and compelling picture.
I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to you for making this video! I will be using this video for years to come. Sending to family, friends, colleagues, etc. I have never truly been able to articulate all my quirks, nuances and simply what "makes me... well me". This video hit the nail on the head. Thank you so so much for being concise, direct and putting together this flawless video that so many need to see! Thank you for making me feel seen and heard, without even knowing it. You are a true gem my friend. Thanks for spreading the awareness. #autismfam! ❤❤
This was an amazing video! One of my daughters has autism, and she hit 52 out of 55. This video helped me a lot in understanding the details of her behavior. Even though we have worked for years to help her understand these differences and how to deal with them, this video showed me areas that I was unaware of. Thank you so very much for taking the time to share your insights!
These videos have been SO valuable to my self-understanding journey. There have been so many things that I've related heavily to and it's so good to know that I'm not a fucked up, broken human being, I'm just autistic. I'm just built for a different type of world than the one we have right now.
Even the best compliment I ever got indicates my autistic traits: "You are the most genuine person I've ever met."
I've been able to piece together so much from my past and present that finally explains why I never felt like I fit in with my "peers."
Orion and a few other youtubers have really helped me figure out this key and almost all-explaining trait about myself that, as a nearly middle aged adult, got missed for understandable reasons as I was growing up and it makes me feel like... Like I can finally take a deep breath and move forward with better understanding of how and why I experience life the way I do.
And literally just knowing that I'm not broken lifts a burden off my mind and soul.
This is such an amazingly accurate list. Thank you for sharing!
Orion, I can't comprehend the "too honest", "too straightforward" thing either! Blows my mind. I don't know how to be any other way. And when I try to understand what they mean, or why you shouldn't just say what you mean, and mean what you say, no one can or will explain it to you! But they get mad you don't understand the invisible social code?!
Sometimes being 100% upfront will be to your detriment. People with less than good intentions will see you as naive and thus an easy mark to manipulate. And at other times too much honesty just simply comes across as rude and hurtful. For instance if a hypothetical female friend were to ask me if she looks 'fat' in some outfit I don't have to be totally blunt and say EXACTLY what I think ('heavens yes, I can see every single fold'). I can say something like 'I don't think this looks very flattering, maybe go for X other wardrobe item'.
I certainly don't have difficulty with small talk, infact the smaller the talk the better lol
I have been searching how to understand Autism and the signs. As I believe you’ve hit the nail on the head with the 55 signs. I’m surrounded by some lovely people who might be autistic! This is such a great post, you’ve made me laugh and have been a great help! So insightful thanks
Those last few minutes about "me time" negateing resentment resonate with me!! I love the colors of your shirt, Orion! ❤
Thank you for your videos. I have a lot of those signs you mentioned but I haven't been formally diagnosed at 45. I have struggled with a lot of the practical milestones in life. My driving licence, getting married, having kids all happened much later in life for me. I am very creative but have struggled with social situations in school, college and in the work environment.
Best video on autism I’ve seen. Thank you so much for helping us understand.
Difficulty with abstraction is a good point, but because of my predisposition i got confused by it initially.
Maths is a very abstract topic, and simultaneously very black and white (which is why i love it).
Loving the video so far, just wanted to point that out.
2:13 "I would say 'just enough questions'" 😂 Oh boy! Worded so perfectly! YES!
I really love your videos. It gives me hope for my 3 year old autistic daughter. Thank you.
I have broken my little toe on 3 separate occasions, once on a bed frame that had been in the same place since before I was born, once on a door frame in house we'd lived in for 2 years and once on a staircase in a house we'd lived in for 3 years.
Yes, yes and yes! I’m struggling greatly so I’m binge watching Your channel Orien. I find it very interesting that the community who gets me isn’t “in person “. So close yet still so far away. I take what I can get. Thank you. I hope you understand just how helpful your content is. I’m very grateful. Through your channel I’ve found mom on the spectrum, NDJen, Woodshed theory. You all are awesome!!! Much Thankz
24:38 ✅ I was just 4 years old and could explain perfectly what I read
I can so relate!!!!
And I love your sense of humor 😂😎👏
Humour*
Thank you so much for this video!
Only 48 out of 55. I'm healed! Praise the loooooord!
😂🎉
Your blood can act as a vaccine now!!!!
Written communication, absolutely bang on lol
Recently diagnosed with Autism (in my 50s). Thank you for making this video, it's been very helpful for me.
Thank you for this content. Concerning telephone calls. I may be getting cynical in my old age. But... In an office environment, I think NT People insist on phone calls in order to make people agree to something before any thought can be put into the details of that thing or what is required to do that thing. Many NT people go through life looking at things from the 30,000-foot view. I hate that term by the way. I also view these calls as an attempt by the NT person to control me. Meaning... they are effectively saying my thing is more important than the thing you are doing at this moment in time. I have difficulty with transition. So, and unexpected phone call can create a 30-minute disruption in productivity. All for a five-minute call in which I tell the person to please send me an email and I will review the requirements and get back to you. NT people also use voice calls to waste time. They talk about nonsense for 5 or 10 minutes before getting to the point.
Today, i think it's moreso that NTs have zero grammatical skills (or they just aren't being taught in schools anymore); sending an email rife with misspellings and lacking punctuation looks terribly unprofessional.
I agree. I also find phone calls to be interruptions. The caller is requesting me to drop what I’m doing to listen to their pitches. I don’t answer the phone any more unless it’s from a number I know. Even then only if I feel like talking to them
Agreed about being put on the spot for an answer straight away on the phone, it has parallels with pressure selling telesales techniques (which I really don't like), where you're not allowed the time to go and research it first. Where the phone does save time is when a customer is proposing some vague project idea, and I'm able to question them on all the details that I need to know to even be able to go away and think about a possible solution. When that happens by email, and I reply back with a load of detail questions, they tend to not read it properly and don't answer all the questions, or answer them ambiguously, so it gets into a lengthy cycle of further email questioning, and feeling that they will be getting annoyed by it. By phone, if they want an answer straight away and it's not something simple enough to answer straight off, I just say I need to think about and will get back to them, because I don't want to give them false hope or a dishonest answer.
You just described me and my daily life!! Thank you😍
15:36 i remember more about my childhood than most people believe. 💃🕺🤷♀️
So do I --I remember things about my past from before I could walk. I know my memories are correct cause my mom verified them
My GP is in the process of referring me for testing to see if I'm autistic. In the meantime, I've had a sense of peace listening to your videos and carrying on as if I already have the diagnosis. I've been able to come off my meds, so it's no small thing how your videos have helped. One thing I do now is to remain quiet in neurotypical settings. That way, I don't need to perseverate later about things I may have said wrong. It makes being around other people a little easier. Don't get me wrong... I have a lot to say, but I've found that no one seems to care much about what I say anyway. Sometimes I actually offend people without meaning to. So, it's just better if I remain quiet.
Thank you for this info. I've recently been considering that I might have undiagnosed autism and/or ADHD. Nearly all of these hidden signs apply to me.
I intend to get formally tested, but videos like these have given me an insight to the feelings I've had all my life of not thinking the way others do.
Thank you for this video, it was very validating and gave me deep insight into myself (with the positive attitude towards so many stigmatized features that made me feel internally inadequate) in a new light. Thank you 😊
There was an episode of Family Guy where Stewie yelled, " There's something wrong with the house: I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!"
I felt that... (definitely not a sign of hyposensitivity.)
Thank you so so much for this. It's so helpful and reassuring 🌻
Thank you so much for this! All of your videos are fantastic have really helped me understand my autistic son. This video in particular really resonated with me and I'm truly understanding that yeah, I'm probably autistic. So, I just wanted to say thank you! Keep 'em comin'!
Also, I am so glad i found this channel. Cheers!
I think being autistic is a compliment