I don’t belong here
Вставка
- Опубліковано 10 гру 2022
- I hope you enjoy.
Cornfield Chase
• Cornfield Chase (Piano...
Solas
• Solas - Jamie Duffy [s...
Oneheart x Reidenshi - Snowfall
• Video
Great Fairy’s Fountain
• Great Fairy's Fountain...
Deep Thoughts
• Deep Thoughts
Waiting for you
• waiting for you
Cold Lonliness
• cold loneliness
Remnants of genesis
• remnants of genesis
Elena Zaikina
I opened an Instagram account. You can follow if you want. I will share various drawings and some music pieces.
Instagram : / atascodetiempo
Pinterest : / atascodetiempo
Spotify : open.spotify.com/playlist/5xh...
when it starts off with interstellar, you just KNOW it's gonna be good.
I was gonna write exactly the same thing✨
Off Course
@@rosante9016 lpa pool pl
i've been seeing people talk about this song for a while now, but i feel like i'm still missing something- is it from a movie or something?
@@chickenxdrum4655 yes, its from the movie 'interstellar'
When you read all those beautiful comments you just know how powerful is music to connect special people in one place.
u r right damn right 💗
yep sis
🥺🌹🫂
I have never seen a man such a goddamn right
wish i could just sleep on your lap.. your peaceful face cuts my loneliness..
You know it hurts more. When dreaming of a place that brings comfort, yet it has no place for you in it.
I know exactly what you mean.
I know and understand
I dont want to die, i want to go into a coma and sleep forever. Im good at lucid dreaming, its a talent. And I can be the one in control of my dreams.
BARZ 🍻🔥 definitely should do some writing homie. I been trying n it's trash. You just put into words how I been feeling..
so what.
I am homesick for a place that doesn't exist
i so get you, mate.
Seek guidance in your ways, perhaps you purposefully feel this way
Heaven I guess
I had no idea, but this is exactly how I feel
와...❤
It's fascinating how just a couple of hours ago as I was coming back home from a long day, being completely dreaded with thoughts and problems, I kept repeating to myself, "I just know I don't belong here. This life doesn't even feel like mine, it's like I'm living somebody else's life. Life is moving terribly fast and it's going to accelerate faster from today on." It's a little overwhelming, everything in general. I don't even have anybody I can run into and tell them things I feel because I'm aware that nobody will ever be able to comprehend the complex emotions I feel, how they eat parts of me every single day like a parasite. I even told my mom how I'm turning into a version of me that I don't even consent to. I hope I can be where I belong later in life if not now. I'll be patiently waiting and living until then.
I’m sorry to hear that man, but at least just expressed these complex emotions/thoughts. I’m gonna leave you a set of questions so you can think about them for yourself since I think it can guide your introspection.
How do people describe me as a person?
What do I think of how people perceive me?
How would I describe myself as a person?
What do I want for myself?
What do I think other people want me to do for them?
Have I been honest with myself and my wants?
How many times have I lied to myself to do what’s expected of me?
I hope you can dive deep here with these things within yourself. Cheers man!
i don't know if u will see this, but i feel exactly the same - especially as of late. i've been overthinking so many things, stressing over life in general. i just can't stop thinking and thinking all the time, it's draining, it's difficult and frustrating to NOT be cynical. i don't know if my brain is wired a certain way, but i've just felt a little lost and generally frustrated as of late. and with so many complex feelings, i don't bother telling anyone or getting into it.
seeing this comment means a lot to me, more than u will ever know. it's nice to see that someone really does understand.
It's like someone has described my feelings. I was feeling so alone and overwhelmed. So many thousands thoughts were running in my mind. But then I saw this post and msg and i realised I'm not the only one. Well buddy keep going life is so short so enjoy every good part as well as bad part learn from bad part. Hope you'll be soon fine . Take care 💜
These were the words of my heart. I feel you with my soul. Don't you feel alone, someone else in a corner of this world acknowledged you and felt understood, I hope what I said made you feel this feeling less, though I'm definite till we are on this earth, it's not gonna go anywhere.
You belong with God who created you.The Bible says that sin has separated us from Him but Jesus made it posible for us to reconect with The Father. That's why we feel we dont belong, or that something is missing; That it must be more to life than this. I know that my words cannot convince but please try and search God with all your heart and you will find Him. Everything conects; everything makes sense. I know i dont belong here on this Earth, and no longer im afraid of death. I can live paciently and joyfull until He returns. May God bless you and I hope you hear and answer His calling!
Imagine listening to this in space while having infinite life and staring at the aspects of space and the infinite darkness of space while you are completely alone, earth is gone and you are in a deep slumber
Or You meet the girl you love and roses and butterflies fly around you as your heart flutters
I love that our imaginations can go this far.
@@PeaceFulInteractions wonderfull
Dont even need to go up to imagine this
Doctor.
_"I am fine,"_ he said, leaning out of the window while watching the deserted streets of Granite City soaked by the icy-cold morning rains.
오 개쩐다.... 님 작가임?
@@user-ii7ot3wk5g 나는 창의적인 글쓰기 연습을 시작했어요.
you are rigjt my friend
The shadows of the night,
Creep in and steal my sight,
As I wander in this place,
Feeling like a stranger, out of place.
The people here, they smile and greet,
But I know that I'm incomplete,
For I don't belong in this space,
I'm just a soul, without a place.
I try to fit in, to be a part,
But I feel it in my heart,
That I'm not meant to be here,
That my presence brings a tear.
The laughter echoes through the air,
But all I can do is stare,
Wondering why I feel so alone,
In this place that should be home.
The walls are closing in,
As I try to find my kin,
But all I find is emptiness,
And a sense of hopelessness.
I don't belong, it's crystal clear,
And with every passing year,
The pain just grows and grows,
And my heart just overflows.
For I know that I will never find,
A place where I can truly unwind,
And so I wander, lost and forlorn,
A soul that will never be reborn.
Wow. Did you write this?!?
this is absolutely amazing. whose work is it? is it yours?
@@drawingtime2089.0_-_ Yes I wrote this while listening to this music :)
@@milad2586 Thanks! Yes it's mine. Wrote this while listening to this music.
@@Serafime_x I enjoyed reading your poem while listening to this music. Both of them are great. Thank you for sharing it.
i feel like the villain of my own story. it's been eight years since i've felt this way the first time and it never gets better. i don't have anyone to talk to and people say that i'm annoying. i kinda agree. today my mom just sent me messages that made me feel so useless, i just can't deal with this shit anymore. now, i just exist. everyday i sit in a dark room and listen to this type of music for hours. it's the only way i found to feel something, feel alive and at least cry for a minute.
Maybe talk to a therapist if you feel as if your being annoying, it’s their job to listen and help you. Some companies take health insurance, you should look into that. :D
@@nana_lingchan oh, yeah, i know! but i don't like to talk about my problems to my friends. i just talk about fun things, things that we like, but they don't give much attention. so i'm not talking much anymore. just writing what i want to say in some papers.
@@kawabones I know how you feel and that feeling really sucks. Having no one to talk you just hurts and makes you feel empty. And just that feeling of being a burden if you talk about your feelings......it's awful. However, I just want you to know, that I've been there and it really gets better overtime even if everything feels so dull right now. So please hang in there
@@kawabones that’s a start. Writing can be a good way to express yourself and maybe even begin the process of getting better
You can go to God, He heals the brokenhearted and can heal you
This playlist reminds me of this quote it is one of my favorite:
_"Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood"_
*George Orwell*
ama sevmeden anlamaya çalışmak pek mümkün değil
The kind of love that I long for
@@elifyasemin4364 mümkün bence :)
is it from 1984 ??
Sorry, does this mean that one crave more for being understood than being loved? I’m foreigner so I can’t fully understand this sentence 😢
Something I can not let go is overthinking. The deeper I go, the darker it gets, and the darker it gets, it'll be harder to get up, I don't feel like fighting, I just want peace. I don't want to be physically in this world, which drives me crazy even more.
yeah exactly. What hurts for me is that the more i overthink, its not that i form up unrealistic non-existent problems, rather, the more i overthink, the deeper i see myself, the more i understand the depth of the issue im facing, how problematic and depressing it really is. You just start to see the raw form of the world you're living in and its not easy to brush that off.
You need to go to the darkest parts of yourself in order to get better. Accept and soothe those parts in order to move forward.
And remember, you can't trip over what's behind you.
“The boy who was not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel it’s warmth.” If you do not feel as if you belong, please, achieve so astronomically higher than anyone else so those who didn’t welcome you now look up to you.
Thank you for this❤.
That's what every supervillain does
@@space_1073 difference is villains to work their ass off
@@twriggy2018 Dude I'm saying the mentality you described is super unhealthy in the long run. People want to achieve higher than everyone who outcast them but its lonely at the top and doesn't lead to true happiness and fulfillment.
@@space_1073 that’s a real unwise comment seeming that you aren’t there. The fact you call being the greatest an unhealthy mindset is really concerning and to be honest it reflects what this generation has become. I realised that long ago that anger and sadness can really only be transferred into two things, guilt and determination. I chose determination. Maybe it is lonely at the top, but that is much better than degeneracy and hate at the bottom. Life ain’t just about us, I’m gonna have kids and grandkids. Hopefully I’ll see you at the top one day if this is enough to change your mind.
I was expecting for a "Creep - Radiohead" themed playlist, but what I found was so much better. Love it.
Sure. They should know about pain .about love. Sad Thing is thatvits the truth. But illigal to communicate.. @🤲
I was expecting any depressing or just eerie radiohead song but not Creep.
@@fKek-yy8tz The title of the video is a lyric in creep, therefore us smart people expected Creep.
Yeah, I was expecting the same as you 😂🥺
LMAOOOOOO ME TOO
I am 18. At this age, my neuropsychologist told me I am autistic. The bullying, sadness, and being misunderstood for everything covers force these present days. Understanding this, I got to know my foolishness, unconsciousness and feeling like I just don't belong here. No one understands me, but judges me. I want to find the place I belong, so this reality can be more manageable. Not being able to talk about how I feel, is the worst experience this world can possess.
I am 18 years old too, I just want to say we both still have such a long way to go. Everyone has a place in this life, on this planet. It’s the people that make it unbearable but I promise one day you will realize that all those people were childish and unimportant. That does not erase all those things you had to go through, which I am also very sorry for, but you will heal and I really hope it will happen asap. I wish you the best, please don’t let anyone tell you anything bad to get you down, don’t let them. Let yourself feel those emotions because that’s how you will be able to let go of them
@@yuki-or-what Oh thank you for your words, kind person! These days, your words are important to me. I'll keep you in mind. Take care of yourself too, and I wish the best for you too. ^^
Good music and a little bit of kaizen are always the remedy...feel at home in your weird and anxious body n soul and you'll be fine 😊
I just got diagnosed at 23 and I am going through the exact same thing, the grief, the shame, the realizations. The beauty and the love I found. But also the profound depth of sadness I had to reach before I was understood.
Hey friend. I'm 20, soon to be 21 and was diagnosed at 18. I promise, it gets better. Take time and unmask, unlearn the damaging habits you had to learn to be 'normal', it isn't worth it. It will take time to learn who you really are, learn to stop being constantly "okay" and "comfortable" for other people's comfort. Youve got this, trust me. It's amazing what you can do and how you feel when you become a friend to yourself
Let yourself be free. Grieve the pain you had to go through to get here, and know you did it. You've survived, but you'll learn to thrive. I promise, the process is hard, but freeing 🫂
Been in the dark for so long that now it provides me with the tender warmth that I so longed
Ah I don't think there's any warmth in darkness 😔 to me its just cold and lifeless. I've spent time in there too. I think only because of God is there any hope of warmth, or light in the darkness. Without him its just an endless void. But that's my viewpoint anyway
Reading the comments and realizing I’m not the only empathic soul who can reach such beautiful depths…
U are definitely not alone 🙏
How good does it feel? I want to feel good.
Freak 🦿
Get out of my face you butter bean coco hobo
@@SeisoMindedWishing you good health with a toast, Mr. Sourpuss. Cheers. 🍻
the thumbnail kinda breaks my heart.
that look, full of sorrow, sadness and tiredness is something i sadly can relate to.
sending big and warm hugs to whoever needs them.
we will eventually be happy, i know we will.
❤
the thumbnail is literally a chained up captive vampire from the show 'penny dreadful'. in this scene, he tries to rip his own hands off to escape from his captors and, after pleading to have 'guts and blood and bats' as food, he devours the flesh off a cat.
I sure do hope you can't relate to this.
@@evelynvas3800 😳😳😳
thanks heaven i actually DO NOT relate to that.
(also, thank you for the explanation 😁)
@@elenamaniscalco the show he's from is really good btw! requires strong nerves and an even stronger stomach but it's basically a dark and sensual adaptation of gothic literature with characters like dracula, frankenstein, dorian gray etc.
How can I search for the thumbnail? Where can I found it?
@@andreeamirelaplachta1747 if you google 'penny dreadful fenton', the character should come up.
Listening to this while watching snow fall on the mountains. Made me think “These are the moments we live for.”
To all the people who got their feelings hurt by the world, its going to be alright, wishing to leave the world is not the answer, just you know, you're stronger than what you look and smarter than what you think . Don't give up just now. The world still needs a beautiful human like you around .
I do not belong here, never was never will.
Alrite mate thanks you saved me.
I was literally about to jump after a quick scroll...
@@josephcaniones4629you’re not here for vain..keep yourself up and find your purpose.. you may one day be the reason of saving someone.. If you can’t find a place or someone to belong to, belong to yourself, live for yourself and struggle for the life you want to live ❤
@@rahmakhalid52 that is why I chose to be in solace and away from the human species rather be with my canines and felines and die peacefully in solitude.
Why? Why kept fighting? Why not just let it go? What's the difference? The difference is if you kept fighting, you suffer more and there may or not a light or a joy after it. If you just let it go... Give up... Than at least its over... Its done.... No more fighting... No more struggling... Some life just not worth it to fight for....
Cold loneliness is just unexplainable.
It's painful
@@Mimi-yr2hz Thats not even close to what it actually is
@@wekieh what words can express it?
inexplicable.
sadly true...
- from Indonesia -
Time stamps ;)
0:00 - Cornfield Chase
2:21 - Solas
6:50 - Snowfall
9:21 - Great Fairy's Fountain
11:17 - Deep Thoughts
13:34 - Waiting For You
15:38 - Cold Loneliness
18:54 - Remnants of Genesis
нужно закрепить комментарий
thank you
Thanks a lot 🤗
tksssssssssss
❤
The boy in the picture, he's looking for someone to reach out and tell him it's going to be okay 😢 its beautifully made
I don't think that it is going to be ok? He's bleeding.........
That feeling of being invisible.
@@cicholasnageimagine if they drew him ugly. she wouldn't say shit like this.
Just wanna tell you that you did amazing today
Hi kind stranger, I just wanna remind you that you're doing amazingly well! Take care.
I think i fucked up once again, but i hope you are doing well and have many more great days...
Thank you. It feels personal and I needed it. ❤ God bless you too.
How is it going
@@B.CREAT1
Thank you stranger ❤
This means so much for me. The title, the art. I felt like a stranger all my life. Everywhere I went, I could feel and see with my own eyes that I'm not a part of it, that they're themselves, and I'm myself. I easily understand people but people just aren't on the same chapter as me and I rarely make an actual long lasting connection with anyone. I really dont know how people fit in so instantly, in the end I always end up by myself doing my own thing. I've told many people about this and a lot of them agreed but at the same time couldn't quite get parts of me. They would tell me I'm very social and extraverted so why do I feel this way, well suck it. That doesn't mean I feel good.
And maybe that's why I chose to be an artist, to at least express these opinions, views and thoughts filled in me.
People always told me I'm different, everyone at least once said that to me. And I do wonder that's why I'm sentenced to this loneliness, because I came here for a different purpose and I'm just on another chapter and book than others. But I suppose all of us have a chapter of our own in this Book of Purpose. The feeling of unbelonging never leaves.
You can express feelings trough art, that's what makes it so beautiful
@@love_kpop6269 wow that's such a cool view/opinion, I'll remember it. thus it felt good knowing someone read my comment.
Thank you for pouring your feelings. While reading it, I saw myself through your description. I can't thank enough for putting this sensation through beautiful yet complex words. This is to say that you are not alone and i hope you'll find the path that makes you comfortable enough to not feel this loneliness and outsider. I myself express my feelings through art. That's why I love it, it means so many things and yet no words come out.
@@Mary-wc3kt I'm happy to find understanding with you! And to create a connection through words. Thank you for your heartwarming and honest words, I also wish the best for your journey and time 💗
@L I feel quite the same way as you. I was "different" but I don't see it. Sometimes I feel like I'm no one, like I didn't exist at all. Words can't be expressed and btw I have nothing to say, just insults in my head.
"You can't be someone"
"They don't deserve to be annoyed by your present"
"You lie to yourself"
"No one will ever know you, you neither."
I see others, how all of them are happy, unique and they are smiling, laughing, how they grow without me.
I'm stuck, just black, or white, around me. Everyone said to me that it's normal at my age.
"You are a teenager. We all felt this way at 17. You don't have nothing to be sad for."
I know. I know that they are right.
I don't want to be annoying anymore.
I'm starting to think that I deserve the worst. I want to disappear, but I deserve to suffer in silence.
I'm often an extrovert, other times an introvert. No one can't tell which one is right.
I was social, I'm social for others but if I'm not real they can't be my friends, they can't know me.
Art saved me before.
Different arts made the past me.
There isn't a "me" anymore.
I'm sorry, I'm like a drama queen with these sentences.
And I'm sorry for my bad grammar, English isn't my first language.
thanks for reading this, if you did, you are a good person.
and @L thanks for your comment, you are a good person too
we were never meant to belong. we were born here to be our unique self. we were all born here to add something new to the world.
Born 1993, when I was around 5/6 me and my family had to move to Germany, Osnabruck because my Dad was stationed there for being in the British Army. We stayed there until 2001. I can honestly say from what memories are still there in my head, are the best years of my life. If I could just relive those days, just for a few hours, I would be so happy.
I spend hours crying happy/sad tears on Google Earth Pro with the time machine of the maps. Seeing my old Primary School before it was demolished. Seeing the Army barracks my dad was at before that too was sadly demolished. Seeing my old childhood home which I haven't seen since we left 22 years ago.
It's even more saddening with how Germanys privacy laws are. Google Street view is practically none existent. So the buildings and the streets I fondly remember are mainly just these pixelated resemblances of buildings that I still vividly remember from my childhood but i can't see how are now or was a few years ago. I only have what I remember, and the odd remnants of videos here on UA-cam which is extremely lacking and rare to find.
The walks we went on, the Warner Brothers Movie Theme Park down south near Dorsten. Pony rides in the woods and picking the oldest one there who was called Boris. I picked him all the time because he liked to eat the grass a lot which made the ride last longer so I could spend more time with him. The little & big lake walk just behind the Nettebad. The traditional Christmas Markets in the town centre. Playing video games when my Dad finally came home on my Playstation 1, we would try and beat the games in one day but never could because I didn't have a memory card. Getting excited whenever Pokemon was on the TV. Friends round mine to share the big swimming pool I had.
Watching Halloween Town before going out trick or treating. Finding our first ever pet, a kitten abandoned behind a grit bin while we were on a bike ride and taking her home, we named her Millie. So many memories. All lost to time. With only old VHS tapes & photographs to try and relive those memories at least just a tiny bit.
Oh what Id do just to go back to those days. Nostalgia is such a beautiful but cruel mistress. I hate to love it and love to hate it. I Miss you Osnabruck. I miss you childhood.
But. I have a baby daughter now. And I honestly can not wait to be the best father I can possibly be. And to make everlasting memories with her that she can look back on and smile just as much as I do looking back at the ones I made with my Mum & Dad.
Oh Germany. Oh Osnabruck. Oh childhood. You were the best of days. I'll revisit you one day. With the whole family hopefully.
I'm breathing but I don't feel alive.
This music brings the best community we could ever ask for, a community that shares emotional struggle and have no one to turn to.
You belong not, simply because:
John 15:19 (KJV)
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
you are CHOSEN OUT from this world, TO DO THE WLL OF YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER in this world:
Matthew 7:21 (KJV)
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
the emptiness which we shall feel inside our souls, is GOD`S quiet voice, calling us to SEEK HIM,
TO
GET TO KNOW HIM
TO
UNDESTAND HIS WAYS
TO
ALLOW HIM BACK INTO OUR LIVES.
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔❤
Hey if your reading this, just remember that this pain is temporary and will not last forever, and while your going through it your not alone we are all in this together doing the best we can, I'm proud of you for still being here fighting everyday, cus it's really not easy but you still strong enough to not give up, know that I care about you and I'm glad your here, your feelings are valid and I believe you'll get to a better place with time. I hope this helps, you don't have to accept my comment or like it but I just did it for the people who needs it. Remember to drink water get some rest and check on your loved ones❤️.
I really needed this thanks alot🥹
Thanks alot
@@arpitverma6657 np dear🫂❤️
Thank you for this i cried every night in darkness just to let my pain go away
@@alreadybrok3n heyy np dear❤️ and I'm so sorry to hear hun, sometimes it's good to cry to get our emotions out, know that you are not alone in what your going through🫂
People are born to be a stranger in this world, so don't try to belong somewhere.
Even in the most darkest, terrifying and horrible moments don't lose hope my friend. Light somehow finds a way when there isn't any sign of brightness.
When the title says "I don't belong here" for me, very recently, it means I don't belong here, with myself, that I don't belong with my mind, it is betraying me, I want to escape it, I wanted to escape the home I am in, but I couldn't fathom where I would feel better being. In reality I wanted to escape my mind, because right now, I don't belong here with it. I know I will find peace with it one day, but it is the most troubling feeling to so much as want to run away from yourself. And yet it is just trying to process everything that is going on around it at the moment. Be kind to yourself, don't expect yourself to understand yet, the reason it is taking its time is because it is important, and it's okay not to know yet. Don't expect yourself to cope in some perfect sort of way, it's not realistic to expect that, as humans we are all learning these journies together, whether that be the first or the hundredth time. Nothing can make it easier than allowing it and learning from it. If anyone else is going through something, remember to never stop loving yourself, you are worthy and stronger than you realise.
Hi there |
I wan 'a have a conversation with you @SJA...
Listen to the Christian rapper NF songs. It will resonate with you and you will find meaning in a weird way … with God.
the world has become so cruel, so indifferent towards everything. they value opinions but only of their own, constantly at war for dominance, a race for money and money alone.
Living in this cold warzone of a world, I wondered where are those people who are kind....who still care. But now that I have stumbled upon this video and many more, I believe I have found u lot, scared, injured, in hiding behind calm Spotify playlists or gentle wordless music. The warzone has destroyed us all, it's not where we belong.
This feels like i can be vulnerable here and open my heart out. Ive been seeing deaths very closely since i was a kid, lost my paternal grandma when i was around 10, i was soo close to her, then almost a month later i lost my uncle too. I was merely a child i had no idea about life and death and what happens after it. All i could see was my grandma not moving, not giving me kisses and she was just gone, I could touch her cold pale body. Even today I remember very clearly how awful that feeling was.
After a few years, i was around 16, clearly remember the moment how dad told me n my elder brother, our another uncle was hospitalised and he said this doesn’t feel good. And unfortunately we lost him too, though we were not close but he loved me and I remember us all playing as a kid. I could see my father devastated, yet another one of his family members lost, never saw him so fragile and shattered. But we became his strength.
2015, my dad had to undergo cardiac surgery, it was my elder brother who gave us all the confidence to go through it all. All went well thankfully :)
In 2017, I was 20, I were in dental school, stayed at dorm, Feb 26, i got a call from my cousin early in the morning, told me my brother had met with an accident last night, hospitalised since then, i rushed somehow to go to his place, felt so sick suddenly had to puke before catching the bus, i used to believe in God back then, prayed throughout the whole journey, reached hospital after about an hour, around 9AM, i saw mum dad, and relatives, neighbors everyone at the hospital gate, trying to leave or something. I had no idea what was happening, i asked my cousin to tell me which way is he being treated, she told me he’s no more? I didn’t believe her, I asked everyone around, they all told me he’s in morgue, i was just lost, sat in disbelief about what exactly has happened, i immediately said i wanna see dad, he was sitting in a car, helpless, hugged him. the exact conversation, the exact situation, time, moments still haunt me at nights. Comes in front of my eyes out of nowhere and i try to distract myself. My support system, my brother, was gone. I was all alone now, to face this shitty life.
It was miserable to see mumdad losing their son. Horrible thing for a parent to see.
I resumed my graduation, got busy, and completed in 2021 October. Its been almost two years now since I completed it, i do nothing, im back at home to mom dad, and everyday i try to change my life and crawl back to bed next moment, staring into nothingness at nights, thinking how different it would have been if i had my brother here. Its been two years of self doubt, self hate and guilt of not being good enough. My friends are doing better than me, and it leaves me with a feeling of failure. It gets deeper and darker every day. I dont know how to get out of this. Everyone judges me, my relatives see me as failure who wont do anything, my friends. My mum has been my biggest supporter and i think im only alive because of her. I gotta live for her and dad.
Sorry if this has been too much. Just wanted to let it out, since I’ve never been able to talk to anyone. I hope few years from now, it gets better.
are you ok?
Listen, whoever you are, wherever you are, please, be good, please.
I shed a tear reading this...
just so you know there's someone out there on this planet cares for you and hopes you're fine.
life gets shit sometimes, and I won't tell you that it'll get better, but you're here! yourself now is the collection of all of your past, embrace those bad moments and go ahead with them, wish you all the best in your life friend
hey!
i hope all is well. seeing death, losing someone, not knowing what one ought to do, so we keep searching for gold in between thoughts...
i hope all is well, and that you can recover and keep living.
best of luck :3
Im so sorry to read this, i cant imagine your pain and losing your brother, i dont know what i would do if i lost one of my siblings, how to move on from that but one thing you already kinda wrote but its to find reasons why you still wanna live or have to live, live for your parents, live for your friends, get friends that become your best friends, friends can do so much for a person, work and think about different goals/dreams you have that you want to do/achieve, what would your brother want you to do? And say? Really Find the drives thats makes you exist and be on this earth and wake up everyday and focus on them, put you energy on them and make your brother and parents proud and yourself.
I wish the best for you and good luck with everything!
bro... I understand how you feel and what you've been through, and what you're going through at the moment. Unfortunately, I also had to face the death of people close to me, it hurts, it hurts a lot, but the best thing you can do for them is to start living a new life, every day, in small steps. they would like that.
Remember, you are not alone, I am with you! life goes on!
P.S. I don't know English well
if you are reading this I want to remind you how important you are, please, things may seem dark, but remember you are not alone, everything will be fine, soon, believe it and everything will be fine, give yourself some time and don't let your negative thoughts get to you, you are stronger than you think!
I appreciate it ❤
As someone who dabbled in philosophy, to seek knowledge and truth, I ended up realizing that we do indeed not belong here. After many doctrines and studies, I came to the conclusion that seeking truth out of your own volition will always turn you back to nihilism...
We are sojourners in this world and we will only be here a small amount of time, then we shall return home. If no one here knows of this home, then nowhere we seek the truth among our fellow humans will we find it.
Some turn to spirituality, some to enlightenment or eudaimonia... I turned to God... To my father Yahweh.
I follow in his ways and now I feel a bit more at home, but I know the day will come when I will have completed my journey and will have arrived home...
I think I'll take something off my chest too.
So there was this girl I met a long time ago when I was like 9, but after a year she disappeared and I never heard anything of her again.
One day during my first year in high school she came into the classroom and I immediately recognised her, and her me. In those five years we were inseparable, we acted like a couple so much so that our friends thought we really were.
We were always together, always hugging each other, we used to sing ''You are my sunshine'' to one another, it was our song, she sang really well, I used to play it with my guitar.
In the last year of high school things went a bit south, we still were acting like a couple we even kissed sometimes (we had our masks on so I don't know if that counts because we never kissed when we hadn't one), and we were thinking of doing it, we joked about it, but we almost did it.
She used to call me her boyfriend sometimes, as a joke I guess, because we never actually made it official, and also because she was texting other guys.
Anyway one evening we are at a friend's birthday and I hear her talking to one of her friends saying that she never cared about me and that she enjoyed making me think I was special to her.
She didn't know I heard that, but my heart broke into a million pieces, after that moment it came to me just how badly she treated me, all the silences, all the times she insulted me, all the times she disappeared without a reason, all the times she ignored me, in that moment I understood just how much I was emotionally dependent from her.
Remember when I said about the kisses, well it went like this one day she kissed me, and I felt great, then the next day she kissed me and I felt great, then all of a sudden she didn't and I felt miserable, I used to torture myself thinking what had I done for not getting a kiss, and the next day she would kiss me again. So I didn't know what to think, I started realizing how bad she was treating me and started to stop thinking about her, but I still had to imagine us together at night to sleep.
It was horrible.
One day she is arguing with her girl best friend, her friend is angry at her because she is ignoring her and treating her badly, and I joined in the argument, thinking it could have brought something good because it was the same thing I was angry at her for, she was shouting and I said she was a horrible person for treating the people around her so badly and coming back to them only when she needed something, I meant what I said and I did that because I hate when people treat other badly and I wanted to defend her friend that was being shouted at. Now I think it was not my fight and maybe I didn't have to get involved but then I remember I did it for protecting someone and that I meant what I said, so after all I have no regrets.
After that day she blocked me on social media and I haven't talked to her in nearly a year. I still miss her even after remembering how she treated me. I really thought we were made for one another, and I still think we will meet again. We said we loved each other so many times, and I meant it, she said that if it was her last day she would have spent it with me, and I believed her. Now she lives in japan and I'm happy for her, it was her dream, and I'm happy she's there, unfortunately now she is alone, all her friends left her because she treated them badly too. I can't play our song on the guitar anymore because I start crying. Sometimes I look at our pictures and cry. I really miss her, but don't miss how she treated me. I'm thinking of texting her, she won't read it so I don't need to fear what she'll say, but I want to say to her that I miss her, that I don't regret what I did because now I'm feeling better without her ''manipulation'', that I wish things were different, and that I wish we could still be together, just to take it off my chest like I'm doing here.
I don't want to lie, I am sad about it I guess otherwise I wouldn't be crying, but I am happy that I realized how bad it was, I'm glad that I managed to get out of that situation, I am grateful for this hard thing I had to overcome because it made me stronger, and I am proud of the man I am becoming, but it is true that this thing really hurt me, now I find it very difficult to trust other people, I find it so difficult to love someone because I start thinking they are lying and that I should get away before it becomes more painful. Here it comes, I guess it's hard for me to think I am worthy of being loved, I know it's not true and that I should feel a different way, but I never had a girlfriend, every time I tried it went wrong, and right now I'm tired of trying, or some could say afraid of getting hurt again, but even after this event I tried and put my heart in the hands of cupid with someone else, as you can imagine it didn't go as good as I thought. Thank you to whoever will read all these words and thank you for lightening this burden of mine.
well first off if it..
was a long time ago,
Like you said, you..
wouldn't need to wear a
mask..?
Hey bro, everything will be ok alright? Be the best version of you and remember to never be the type of person this woman was to you. Do not treat anyone like she treated you. Love from Brazil 🇧🇷 ❤
I read all your words, my friend. I thought that letting you know would be as sharing away your burden too
@@jeffgrush3795 we knew each other for a long time yes, but it was just two years ago, during covid times, that we were sort of a couple. During that time when we were in school we were required to wear a mask.
@@lucasryan5353 thank you for the love, I am doing really well.
Since I got my heart broken again in August I decided I didn't want others to feel like I felt and so I wanted to become the reason others believe in love and kindness. Since that day I have always treated everyone with love, care and kindness going out of my way to do so. I must say that it feels good and I started to love myself more from that day. Now it's hard to make me sad, I'm always smiling, always asking people how they're doing and taking every chance I have to say that I love them. Thank you for reading my story, the morning after I wrote it I thought of deleting this comment because I didn't think anyone was going to read it. But I'm glad I was mistaken, I'm happy to see you like cowboy bebop, love from Italy
If you're struggling or going through something, and you think nobody else understands, just remember that it's okay. Other people know these feelings that you bottle up so tightly, you just have to muster up the courage to tell them. Don't lose yourself to despair, don't drown, you're worth so much more than you might think. No matter what situation you're in, try to look at things from the brighter side. Don't be pessimistic when nothing warrants the sad behavior, keep yourself together.
The best advice I could offer as an internet stranger is to intelligently decide what decisions you want to commit to, don't brainwash yourself, and keep yourself together. Keep up your room, keep yourself hydrated, go to the gym if you want to feel better about yourself, eat a plentiful amount of food, and brush your teeth. Maintain your body, and try to find comfort in things you already do, or things you're new to. If you like video games, don't let anybody tell you what to do. If you like playing the piano, keep playing the piano. If you have a passion for something, keep yourself together, because you may find an immense amount of enjoyment in it, enjoyment that may help encourage you.
Don't black-pill, try to dig out of the rabbit-hole of despair, climb up the ladder, swim up to the surface. You don't have to be scared all the time, or sad. Don't continue living depressed, you don't want to waste time that you could be spending on the things you love. Don't be distracted by the easy way, go through life the regular way. Talk to a therapist, talk to yourself even. Talking to yourself is the most powerful tool, and you'll come to realize that thinking out loud may help. Grow into a better you.
-- Random Internet Stranger
P.S: Please don't use the comments to vent unless you absolutely have to. This comment is meant to be encouraging, meant to help people rise above, not continue to be drowning in despair.
thank you so much !! xx that has made me understand a lot and how its not just me who is going through tough times and that there are people out there that can help me and others who feel like they aren't worth anything and always feel like there the lonely ones trapped in a corner never know what to do or what will happen next. It makes me feel so sorry for everyone who has been through things that have traumatized them to the pint where they struggle to sleep it night and is always paranoid abut how others see them as a person. I only want people to know that there are good people in this world that they can trust and no have to worry about all the time, want people to know hat they are beautiful and your never alone because others are going through the same and there are people that can help you face your fears or can help you wit something your struggling with. Just know you are beautiful and you are the person that can make a change!!!!
xxxx
@@Aims3208 A lot of these people surprisingly reside online; it's more common to find accepting people on the internet. Internet friends can sometimes be special, they can be different from the friends you know in real life.
A lot of people go through tough times, the best way to cater themselves is to find something they enjoy. Not a purpose, rather a meaning for the time being. A movie series, a video game, something that they genuinely enjoy. Letting yourself sink into the everlasting abyss of melancholy shall let everyone know you gave up, and will tarnish a portion of your reputation. Don't let tough times create a weak version of yourself. Let these tough times educate you on reality, try to escape from the melancholy and it's demons.
Spend your time wisely during your childhood, even if you're very sad try to do things, continue on. Becoming a memory is the last thing you want everybody to think. Believe on.
i want to get back to that night
when everything used to fade
and it feels like drowning in endless blue
This is the first time a painting has made me speechless. It could most likely be because of the music accompanied by it as well. As I stare at the image used in this video I literally cannot describe exactly how I feel with that painting. It's horrifying to look at, I feel scared, but at the same time, I feel like he understands me, and I understand him. I also feel pity, maybe even guilty, having to stare at him the entire time. But the more I stare at him, the more I felt guilty at myself. I don't know why such a simple painting has made me feel like this. That is why I say the painting scares me as well. Because This painting I found out of nowhere on a video streaming website scarily matches my inner thoughts well, when nothing else ever has before.
wow, you describe my mind line now. thank you. Feel the same
Esactamente
Whats the name of the painting who is it by?
@@_Wubalem_ fenton by elena zaikina
same here, no painting has ever made me feel the way this one has
When you leave
---------
when you leave don’t say goodbye, don’t look back, don’t cry.
Leave me believing I’ll see you again.
I won’t know that I lost you until your memory starts to slip,
Slip behind the business of life.
Soon you’ll be just another face in the crowd,
A face that reminds me of a memory,
A memory that I’ll fight to get back,
Only then will I realize that I had lost you, only then will I start to cry.
I feel like by the time tears are going to fall from my eyes, It's gonna be too late.
I go to these videos solely because I want to cry, but it never happens. I just sit here staring at a static image for like 10 minutes and act as if nothing happened.
Same
You and I both
fr n at times its as if you're thinking about nothing, n your brain just stops, its just the music and you(or not even you, prolly coz ur lost)
It's amazing how you can tell if the music is a sad kind or happy, peaceful or even rage.
It's almost like music has its own feelings
I've been dealing with difficult emotions for a while, and it's been painful. I found this playlist today and it's really helping to make me feel better, helping me process things a bit better. The artwork is beautiful too, I want to try to find the creator of it as well. Thank you for this beautiful playlist
I'm sorry for everything I hope you one day you will be happy
The Artists Name is Elena Zaikina
Thanks
I wrote a haiku whilst listening to this:
Life is the canvas,
I am but a broken brush,
Ink of tears and blood.
This is wonderful 💚
I can relate to this haiku.
this music perfectly describes my life. My parents are always busy, I don’t want to disturb them and share my problems. I hate talking to people and talking to thin air. He will not say “everything will pass, this is such a stage,” he will listen silently and reward you with silence. I'm not an outcast in the class, but I have no friends either. I'm just emptiness. I was often forgotten or not noticed, but I got used to it. My best friends are music, books and the silence of the night. I have enough, but sometimes I wish there was a person nearby...
You're such beautiful and honest person Believe me ,when i readed your replied i feel like I'm about to crying ❤
@@MimoYas thank you, you told me the most good words today
Enjoy loneliness.. take advantage of it, the time will come to be among the right people. Don’t waste your time with fake ones, be only with genuine ones, or remain alone and enjoy it. ❤
@@rahmakhalid52 Thank you, I've been talking to one person for several weeks now, I'm glad
this is beautiful. it inspired me to write a poem. thank you and God bless you❤ I will save this playlist forever
You know its illegal by the rules of the internet to just say you did something, and then not sharing it with every random stranger around the globe, right?
if u feel comfortable can u share it
Bautyfull
@@hadenougthatsit8861 huh?
@@hi8683 My self
Im surprised on how many times i go back to this playlist . I feel like this is my home for now as i can say . It all started last christmas when everything just went even worst than before , that heavy pressure you feel from your chest and wanting to cry and let it all out , i went to the living room for some alone time at around 12 am and just sat there for god knows how long . drowning in my thoughts and It got me thinking “am i really doing okay?” . i was at a miserable state . eyes swollen , i was shaking and i can barely breathe . I thought i had enough and even contemplating whether i should end it or not . I was just too exhausted . I thought i was doing fine? I thought i was thriving ,like what could go wrong , even if it would , its not gonna stay that way forever right? Wrong . everthing turned out the opposite . Its like i continuously go through the same thing . A cycle full of sorrow as i can say . And so i took my phone and type abt how i’ve been feeling lately on my notes and decided to open youtube and search for some music that maybe could calm myself down a bit . And exactly at that moment the first thing that appeared in my recommendation is this playlist . And honestly im glad that i found this playlist . It accompanied me through all my tough times and the times where i felt worthless and exhausted. Knowing that life can’t always be all sunshine and rainbows . ill hold on a little longer as long as this playlist is still here , i know im going to be just fine . Im currently having a hard time right now . And listening to this on repeat makes me feel more at ease . Just wanna say that If i ever lose my battle , i just hope that someone will play this playlist at my funeral
update : i came back again after a year of not hearing this masterpiece. im doing absolutely fine now and all i want to say to anyone who’s reading this is , it’s okay . all those hardships all those problems you’re facing right now shall pass . hang in there and be strong . you’re gonna be just fine . trust me
you are a strong person. we will all play this battle someday. I respect you
There is no need to do something that you will regret, just see how long can u keep it and how far can u reach, remember u are strong but not in weak situations... :) be safe
I hope you’re feeling better. I understand your sorrow. Same here. Keep strong. Things always work out in the end. And if they don't, it means it's not the end yet.
Life is sunshine and rainbias my friend. If you look at a cat or an animal that you like. Lets imagine that one being is sitting alone in some kind of darkness... of course one would think, well... Alone AND Darkness... Those are bad for the moral. I sincerely hope that you, will find the way.
I hope you are doing well now because you are a great person and your feelings are very normal for you to feel and you will definitely be able to get rid of them
Listening to this playlist and reading these comments feels surreal. I relate to the feelings told in the music and by the people in the comment section so much, but now on the other side. I really understand what you all are going through, it took me years to get out. The obsessive thinking about how terrible of a person you are and how you deserve to die. The self-harm, the hiding in your room for weeks, the not showering for days, I know it all.
I couldn't stop hurting myself. It was like an itch I had to scratch, a decade-long itch.
Getting out is different for everyone, so I can't give a perfect solution, but I can tell you what I did.
First, it's very slow. Excruciatingly slow. It took me a year and a half of dedicated work on myself to get here, and even then I still needed to get on medication for a time. My primary advice is to do what everyone else says: take advantage of school/university counselors if you can and if it's safe for you to do so. A good second choice is to read as much as you can about your problem and commit to making small changes in your lifestyle. If you don't have the energy to cook, buy some ramen and some kale, spinach, or chard and mix that in. If you are too scared to go outside, do some light stretches and maybe walk around a bit inside your room. Try journaling and try writing one good thing about yourself that you did that day when you go to bed and read it the next morning. Maybe you showered. Maybe you ate something. Maybe you read this comment. Practice being able to have a negative thought and let it pass. Don't fight them, don't humor them, acknowledge the thought and let it pass. It doesn't have to have any power over you, it can just be a thought, who says thoughts must always be true?
Read some philosophy. Intimately understand that all of us deserve love, just for being human. For example, does the lion deserve to kill to eat when it needs to survive? Does a baby deserve affection and care when without it it will die? You deserve love and to be loved by yourself because to need it. There is no other requirement.
Mental illness makes you feel so defeated that oftentimes your first thought is that these types of fixes would never work. You're right. These types of changes won't change your life in a day, a week, a month, or maybe even a year. But it will in a year and a half, two years, or three. And that MATTERS. SO. MUCH. Life will never be perfect, but it can be better. It can get better if you want it.
And you do want it. I know you do. We all do. The only thing that is stopping you is fear. Change is unfamiliar and scary, and what if you do these things and it does nothing? What if you wake up one day after learning to love and understand yourself and you realize that you actually really didn't deserve it? That you were right all along?
I can tell you with 100% certainty that all these fears are unbased. You deserve love and acceptance and you always have and you always will. No one can take that away from you, not even yourself. Change is scary until you realize it's not. As long as you keep going forwards, it will be okay, you will be okay, and one day you will realize that. Understand that some days will still be really hard. Sometimes, despite your efforts, you will go back to the familiarity of your old ways. You will hate yourself, you will not shower, you will hide away in your room for weeks, and it will feel so good. You finally scratched the itch. Then you will wake up the next morning, the next week, or the next month, and feel so disappointed in yourself. Try not to let that disappointment hurt you more. Sure, you scratched the itch and worsened the wound, but that doesn't mean you have stopped healing or your progress. Setbacks are unavoidable in change, they will happen, so don't feel so bad about them. Acknowledge that it happened and move on. Who said having setbacks has to mean failure? That they have to mean you should give up? Don't ever give up on yourself babe. You don't deserve that.
Sometimes you won't be able to change by yourself, I wasn't able to. Sometimes you will need medication. I got to a point where I knew the fixes to my problems. I knew that, as a person, I deserved love, that I was worthy of living, and that there were good things about me. But I still could never FEEL those thoughts. It was painful to think them even after all my progress and I couldn't control my own negative thinking. It was obsessive and compulsive. Every time I would feel mildly bad, maybe I and a headache, maybe my skin was bad, maybe I was just tired, my mind would immediately go back to those bad thoughts. I had trained my brain to react to any bad feeling with self-hatred. At least then I had control, right? The ironic thing is that I had absolutely no control. Over my thoughts, my feelings, and my health. I was spiraling and I knew it, but I was terrified that change would be the same but also unfamiliar. You know what they say about the devil you already know? Going on medication allowed me to have a sort of "brain reset" of sorts. I am able to have control over my own thoughts for the first time in years and I used that newfound control to solidify my change, which would not have been possible without the mental work I had done beforehand. In most cases, medication should be used as a tool, not a solution.
I am now off medication and I feel amazing. It is an incredible feeling to be able to love and support yourself; to not see yourself as an enemy and react with fear, but to see yourself as your own protector and feel loved.
I'll leave you with one last thing: you aren't special. You are not so uniquely horrible in that you are one of the few who actually deserve to die; there have been others before you who have thought the exact same things about themselves as you do, and they were not any more right in their thinking. And the reason why this is so painful to hear is that your mental illness only survives off this thought being true: that you are uniquely horrible, undeserving, or alone. Don't always listen to what your mind tells you. The brain craves security and safety over everything else, even at the expense of positive change. In that sense, all your mental illness cares about is survival, homeostasis. It's not comforting, it's not safe, it doesn't love you and you don't love it. It's not a part of who you are, but simply a habit of thinking that has gone on far too long.
So don't be afraid to change, you will be better for it. I believe, without a doubt, that you can do this, that you can change.
Beautiful sentiments in your comment, wow
Thank you for this
i just KNEW this would be a perfect playlist just by seeing its cover and name. thank you for this. this is life saving and i am serious.
I have never written anything online like this before.
I have been battling with Bipolar disorder for five years now. Recently got diagnosed with anxiety as well. Even though i am better everyday now, thanks to therapy, medication and from the love of friends and family, i sometimes keep getting this numb feeling of emptyness and the feeling of not belonging anywhere. I feel like with my mental illness i made my real self isolated. I feel anxious with every friendship i make and i feel like i'm a huge weight to everyone because i tend to cry too much . These kinds of music helped me express my feelings alone in my room everynight for years, which felt as if someone was there to listen to me when i felt that i had no one.
I hope that everyone can find a place of peace and even though it's still hard for me to accept, crying and expressing yourself is okay and it's also part of who you are.
I just wanted to say that I understand. I’m also bipolar and it’s really hard. I hope that you never get lost in the emotions and you find your way back every time. I can promise you I’ll do my best to do the same. You’re not alone, remember that.
I understand that feeling of being a pain the ass with your friends and that no matter what we do it's never enough, but in time it will get better if you believe in yourself and to remember your not alone there's a bunch of people who understands your pain
I used to have a partner. He gave me all to become the person i am today. I lost him as the first victim from covid in my country. I couldn´t be there because i was working at sea. This song reminds me every morning with him. we used to wake up early to maek breakfast together, seeing him sitting close to the window with this kind of music ON is the most peaceful and beautiful i would have ever experienced. Sometimes we dont realize how lucky we are until is too late. Years have passed and i still having this feeling of, missing something. For me he was something out of this world, having someone to listen to you ...to be there for you has no price. But instead getting completely sad i like to think sometimes that MAYBE I will become on that person for someone else. Patience is always something hard to cultivate but as he used to said. Everything that truly worth requires time.
I close my eyes.
I close my eyes as i float. I feel a degree of freedom.
My legs and arms are entirely free, untouching with anything.
My breath is steady. In, then out.
I feel the warm air backtrack onto me after hitting the glass.
I keep my eyes closed.
Peace.
That is all I feel in this moment. My mind going through everything that had happened.
Glossing over the good and lingering over the bad.
Though i shake the thoughts away I know there is no escaping them for they are me.
My body feels empty as i float.
My mind starting to empty too.
I open my eyes but keep them closed.
I imagine what i will do after I open my eyes, somewhat hoping it would help,
once i detach from this freedom.
Let go of this peace.
It has been so long since its just been me yet I do not find great comfort in my solitude.
I finally open my eyes.
Marbles of white, brown and black that i had covered with a blanket of my skin.
I gaze upon the glass, slightly reflecting my face.
I look beyond it. i see the scorched world I called home.
Red, orange and yellow had never filled my heart with such great sorrow.
I know i remain, I know my punishment is to outlive to watch everyone else perish.
I never hoped this would be the way things ended. Once in a lifetime I would think of where next I will float.
But now, I'd rather stay and take it all in. My punishment of silence.
Yet whenever i wish to escape;
I close my eyes.
Gosh, that's beautiful
@@grenouille5264 i have not written full stories yet besides this and this video inspired me to write this. im glad you liked it!
¡THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! I thought you were quoting a book! you have a HUGE talent for writing hun ! ♡
@@mvp9 thank you so much! its just a side hobby of mine though i really enjoy it, im glad you did too!
You definitely don't belong here. You see this fact in their eyes ,their faces, how they talk to you , and how they act when you are around .Everything screams , "You aren't welcomed here ." From the little details to the bigger picture, you know it deep inside your soul that you are doomed to be alone even around hundreds or thousands of people, no one could understand you , no one even try to do so.
ua-cam.com/video/luQSQuCHtcI/v-deo.html
😢
Because no one knows how to love
i known but i dont wanna be alone, i want to talk for hours, feel dumb, laugh at his silly jokes and feel so loved
😢
Imagine a world with only those who listen to this playlist ❤
❤🩹it would be such a beautiful world I can´t even describe
Deep!❤
Probably everyone here is going through a change of personality and thoughts. It may feel tiring, you can feel like a stranger to even yourself; but that’s just a phase you’re going through. Try to make yourself busy, so your thoughts will be organized without even thinking deep down as the time passes… Everything will be fine, keep your head up!!
There's a Brazilian book, named "The death and the death of Quincas". He dies twice on the story: The first death its his social life, and the second one its his real death.
This song playlist makes me remember that story, that also makes me remember how many times, a part inside me died and how i lost myself on the process.
Im recoverying from the strongest emotional trauma i've ever had on my life, and this playlist makes me feel like that the dead parts inside me, are reviving piece by piece, creating a newer and stronger version of myself.
Thank you for uploading this, it means alot to me ;)
i’m sure you can make it❤️ btw i love the way you write and put words together
This reminds me tragically of myself. I've been at the lowest point of my life for almost an eternity now. One day when I wasn't paying attention, due to my tendency to day dream, I took a wrong a step and slipped and spiraled down this hole of undiagnosed depression (god I hate that word. It does no justice to describe the century deep aching in my bones. All it does is provoke pity) , that was two years ago. There are really bad days and really good days, but regardless it just constantly feels like I'm being pushed to the floor and someone is stepping on my chest. It's not enough to stop my heart, but enough to make it uncomfortable. It's enough to make my heartbeat erratic and uneven. I myself know that my heart doesn't beat right and that my head sometimes thinks too much or too little, I know that there's something wrong, I knew before I even slipped. I guess I was trying avoid or at least delay the inevitable, something that was already written in my fate. And you know trying to change destiny isn't really ideal. I tried to squeeze it in between my math and psych lectures, but ultimately, it didn't work out. So I dealt with it. I thought that the faster I let it in, the faster it'll be over. I welcomed it into my home, let it into the crevices of my mind, body and soul. I fed it and fed it and fed it, hoping that one day it would be enough. But you know, feed a wild animal and they always come back, eternal return they call it. The universe has and will continue to revive itself and reoccur an infinite number of times. By the time I had built up my courage to recognize what I had to done, to recognize exactly what I had let into my home, I had already felt like I was floating. I couldn't remember anything from days ago let alone my childhood. I couldn't feel my feet on the ground or the cool winter breeze on my face. I felt unattached to everything, like a separate entity, outside looking in, as if I didn't belong inside humanity. I felt like I didn't belong in this world. Because how come the world still revolved and people still laughed and found hope, when I couldn't even move my feet. It felt like a cruel joke. I was being shown everything I wanted but I couldn't reach it... and that leads me to the life I am living now. The best way I can put it... Imagine yourself playing minecraft. You're going mining but you manage to go far too deep and you hit bedrock. Now you gotta find a way out. You look up and all you see is cobblestone, ores, torches and maybe some water and lava, but no opening to the outside world. You know the surface is up there somewhere, all you gotta do is make your way up, but that takes time and you've already been playing for hours. So you decide to log off and tackle it the next day and the next and the next (we all know how this age old story ends; you stop playing). I guess that's what I did. I played, recognized the consequences, then stopped. But, the game doesn't move if you keep it on pause nor does life. You'll be in the same spot you were two years ago if you don't move. But, that doesn't mean pausing is a bad thing. Personally, I kinda like it here, it's quiet. And I think I'm gonna stay here for a little while before I learn to fight again.
That's a beautiful way to put it ❤
Hugss ☘️☘️
this broke me, it hits exactly where it hurts the most, some days it gets easier, that is a huge relieve, a place to find strength from when you are deep down, that is the only good part you can think about when its bad, and i hope and pray you have as many of those as possible, love to you all out there
This is probably the most sensitive story I've ever read, I hope you almost have new hope and manage to enjoy your life someday and see the good things, you are a beautiful person
Its nice its cold here, but im all by myself. But each dsy it gets colder and even more darker.
This playlist...is absolutely stunning. Most of the time I don't feel I belong here...in this country, in this world. In this time-line. This playlist captures my longing and pain. Thank you for this beautiful playlist
I have forgotten who I really am and this music feels like I could be able to finish my very own chapter of loneliness after having lost what was dear to me and becoming the thing I so very much hate. Thank you for posting this playlist as it has given me comfort but also sadness in my times of struggle
It might be unseen but the kindness and the pure souls will meet one day, it might take a while but everything will come to an end. A sweet, gentle one we just have to be patient. I know that most of us feels like it's too much to handle but trust me we're doing great.
I wanted to thank and hug everyone that feels low cause really we all deserve care, love, kindness, happiness.
I just wanted to share these words thinking that it might help and I really apologize if my expressions aren't well expressed.
I wish you all a wonderful day/night, keep cherishing the memories.
Please never delete this, this is a masterpiece and every song fits so well together, wow!!
I subbed!
Listen to this while I write in the middle of the night, and after emptying my mind on paper, I hide my notebook and go to sleep... 🌔🌠💜
в последнее время меня все утомляет.я устала жить в этом мире.моральное состоянии становится все хуже и хуже.чувствую,что я никому не нужна.я хочу помогать родителям финансово,но я все еще подросток,мне запрещают работать.чувствую сеюя беспомощно.состояние тревожности.я не знаю как мне дальше быть,как выживать в этом мире.люди предают меня.я просто хочу быть любимой и кому то нужной..этот плейлист на время дал мне успокоиться,почувствовать умиротворение и спокойствие,я очень благодарна!
Listening to this in my birthday, I'm 17 now... I feel very out of place in my family and listening to this I can resonate with the melodies, I appreciate this playlist thank you.
Happy birthday! Sometimes we feel like we are in completely different worlds because people are not the same as who we are. The source of this feeling is a little bit damaging. I hope you have a happy year. So glad that I have you. Take care of yourself.
Hi i understand what u mean since im 19 now. 17 is a beautifull age where you will realise a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff will make sense to you at once or you will try to make it make sense to you. I just want you to know no matter what take your own advice first and then see how it goes. Listen to ppl who actually care about you. And make sure you feel okay at the end of the day, because you are and will be the only one to know how you feel in the inside. Have a nice day and life stranger🙂.
I feel the same way I'm gonna be 16 tomorrow I don't know what to feel I wanted to end it at 11 so I don't know why I'm here
you're very young. you still don't even know yourself.
enjoy the journey. don't worry if you're confused. confidence comes with age
This New Year's Eve was worse than most others, due to me having a panic attack. This playlist makes me feel understood, and I wanted to thank you for that.
same here
Had the same thing happen to me, ur not alone ❤
what was it caused by? if u don’t mind me asking
@@totallytubularrr0112 جد
@totallytubularrr011
I love watching the night sky filled with beautiful stars and smily 🌙 moon~ they all are my friends they always smile at me i love them♡
This music is magnificent ✨
In such a messed up world, I can't believe there is a place where I can confide my heart and someone will listen and comfort me. There are people who quietly share the candle of life that is lit within them with those who have fallen into darkness. Thank you for your quiet and gentle warmth. I hope you all find peace of mind.

I hope you find peace of mind as well. This comment section makes me feel like I finally found a place that I belong. It's sad to think about but it feels like we're the part of humanity that has been forgotten and neglected. I've found my kind here and it's the most calming I've felt in a while. I believe one day it'll click and suddenly we're more joyful and optimistic. I hope one day you'll find the person that will make you feel like you belong here because you do.
I love how the selection of songs tells a story. It begins with something hopeful, then becomes heartbroken and cold, then empty and not at all musical.
Its hurtful knowing that our best moments, can end in just moments,
Hurtful knowing that someone can just disappear and forget about everything,
Its hurtful knowing how lonely can one feel when those moments just flew away,
Hurtful knowing one can change the way they are because of someone, its crazy how someone can just go away and treat us like we were nothing.
I feel like a ghost, just floating around doing the same routine every day, but no one actually notices me doing it. Like a background character.
are you ok?
There is no need for someone to notice you if you have noticed it yourself. Add something new every day. Try to change your flow. You don't have to do big things. It's like taking a different road to get somewhere. Like styling your hair differently. Even these things will make your day different. Even if you're a side character, everyone has their own world so it's none of your business. Just move on.
the end is haunting, 21 and onwards
That's the resentment and suicidal ideology taking hold
The only lesson I've learned about depression is sometimes you can't make your life better, just a day. And sometimes not a day, but a moment of the day. And that's worth holding out for
Agree❤
Dear 11 yr old me,
Your are disappointed
I don’t know where ill end up
But as long as I keep my eyes shut
My wrists will remain uncut
And I will continue to have luck
Not for long until I remember the past
Drowning in my thoughts that forever last
Until I break free
From an eternity
Of pain and shame that lead me down a road that I cannot tame
Without the medicine
Without this pain I have learned that there will be no gain
Hard work makes more enemies than friends
So I continue to look through the lens
Viewing my future and walking down the lane
Alone
With no-one left to blame
But my own brain
And the people who made me insane
And so I forgive the little girl
Who didn’t know how to live
In a house made up of flames
With a hundred of different names
Left her looking in mirrors to only see tears
In her hand she held the shears
Waiting for the right moment to finally fly
But she only now realized the only way to do it is to die
And so she cried.
One day your soul will be free and that is inevitable. Then you should try to listen to your eleven-year-old self and repair its broken parts and dreams. You know you're hurt, but being able to break your soul to be free... is that a favor you can do for her?
@@atascodetiempo6013 "break your soul"
Oh don't you know every scar, and every pain is part of you. SO don't you break a piece. Keep intact.
I don't know where to start,
I've got a broken heart
and I would like to help
but I'm lost as well
Where will I end?
I'll never know until then
And if I'm never free
I'll ask to thee
Would that really matter?
with all this clutter
I don't know where I'm going, to begin with
I've had dreams
and out of my hands I've let them slip
These chains aren't stiff
It's that I'm getting weak
With every minute and every night
I'm losing sight of who I am
My soul is sore
and it broke to the core
I only want a cliff or a rope
to make this stop
It's not time to die
It's time to fight
But who am I to tell you to try?
If every time I did
I could only wilt
Hello there.
First of all, that was beautifully written.
Second of all, I hope you’re doing okay. I understand what you feel, and I’m very sorry you feel this way. I want you to know you are not alone in this struggle. Take a look at this comment section : it is full of broken and heartbroken people, but they don’t stop, they’re always trying, and even if they can’t, they still try to uplift others. It may not mean anything to you, but you are not alone, no matter how lonely you may feel. I, myself, feel the same way as you do. You and I are both lost, and trying hard to make it to the surface, I know. I know just as well that we will make it one day. We will make this constant pain and suffering worth it. We will make every day of struggle worth it. Days of sorrow will become days of love. Days of pain will become days of peace. Your mind and body are at war with themselves, and so are mine. But, war, inevitably, leads to peace. Wars don’t last indefinitely, trust me. Keep trying, keep pushing, and your life will become worth it, no matter how deep the well you’ve fallen into seems. Trust me on that. Please, promise me you will continue trying. Life is so much more than what you feel now, and, at the end of the day, life truly is a magical gift.
Finally, look around you. Even in all this chaos that’s in your mind and, possibly, around you, there are still people who love you for who you are, and they always will. Cherish these people, for they are not eternal, but for they are also your path to happiness and peace of mind. I appreciate you, as I’m sure a lot of other people do. Don’t give up. Never stop trying. Please.
I love this comment so much, I hope you’re doing okay.
I want to leave my story here.
At 6 years old I knew something was wrong. First day of school, the door swings open, and I’m absolutely terrified. Everyone turns and looks all at once. I freaked out every day for a week every time that door opened. I’m 30 now. I feel no different. Something is still wrong. It’s been a nightmare living amongst humanity. Been in therapy for months. This was never supposed to be. I’m holding on, but suicide may still happen some day. I’m just holding on for my parents. There’s a goodbye letter in my desk, just waiting for it’s day.
Hi Travis. I just wanted you to know I hear you and I sense your pain. I'm so sorry you feel this way. I've dealt with my share of depression but never to the point of being suicidal. I know it's cliche to say this, but as lonely as you feel, you are not alone. I hope that you can find joy in doing something you love, even if it's finding yourself through nature or through a furry companion. I hope you don't give up the fight, and if you find yourself losing the fight, I hope you'll reach out to someone. You are worthy. You are loved. Sending all the love and light I can through this message.
Sound similar to me and I never feel like I belong until I see who I'm living for.
I never think of death though because I should live and do well
Don't do it love yourself life is to precious even within the scary parts and our own personal battles there's a silver lining. Try to figure out what it is that makes you feel that way. I know it's hard I suffer from mental illness. My toddler is in the spectrum, too. I hope you find genuine happiness in your life. ❤❤❤
Be strong brother
I wish we could meet and talk.
stay strong champ
I used to be one of those people who thought there was a bright side to everything, or the grass was always greener ahead, or that everyone belonged somewhere. But now, I wonder how everyone can belong when no one even knows the true meaning of belonging. Think about all the times you thought you belonged. If there are any, did you really belong? Or was it just what you though was best for you. Trust me when I say that there is a difference between the two. It is rare that we truly belong. Sometimes I feel it’s even harder to belong to yourself.
I agree completely. It’s difficult to find belonging within ourselves. Which we would need to feel if we’d belong with others. If you’re unable to accept yourself how’d you be able to allow yourself to be accepted by others. Almost like you can’t have one without having the other. It’s a huge mental battle and to truly live your desired path be prepared for war.
I wish I had someone to share this piece with amazing work
Yes me too 😔🇬🇧
Me three
My loneliness
When you're having a good time with people you love,
the only thing you want is for it to never end,
but the moment passes and I go home to my solitude, moping.
How is it possible?
I feel so alone that it seems like nothing can change that.
No matter who I surround myself with,
my loneliness comes and returns as if something is constantly after me.
I run, I run, but I get tired.
To finally hate myself....
Are you fine?
I don't know.
Never going to be.
No
No 😂
Fine enough to keep crawling
when you realised that without darkness , you can find the light easy but your journey feels like nothing
I live in an empty house. In one corner of a cold place. It used to be home. Now its just four walls filled with painful memories. Memories which fade each day. I don't belong here. But I can't leave.
everyone waiting something from me but they dont know i dont have a power
I don't know why . I miss someone
at some point I just started walking on the edge between reality and fantasy; letting myself dwell upon the life I wish I could live, to be an artist that carries her craft ...but I'm constrained by normality and whatever responsibilities that are embedded in it. At this point, whatever is on the other side became a childish desire-- as i enter adulthood
In some places, you need to mature in order to protect yourself and build your life. But if you get too carried away, life will take from you not only your childhood but also your life. You can choose not to let go of any part of you. A piece of both. There is a vicious circle in front of us that will limit the imagination. Still, we shouldn't be defeated by him, right? I would love to see your art one day.
this playlist is the perfect reflection of the amount of emptiness I am feeling inside... so hollow
Songs are pure peace of mind, somehow even nostalgia hits me as if i am living my past life. Art is on point too.
*The haunting melodies of sad, sentimental music have a way of piercing through the heart, weaving a tapestry of emotions that resonate with the complexities of the human experience*
I've been living in Europe for 4 years as a foreign student, and this music, the art, and the title resonate with me.
I come from a north African country so the cultural and social differences are pretty wide, and I'm having trouble integrating myself.
"I don't belong here" is a feeling I definitely had many times. However, the music seems to perfectly describe how I felt throughout these years.
Life is the warm colors of long days in the summer,
walks in the countryside along the corn fields,
a sun-kissed lover under the oak tree,
a caressing breeze,
people with glittering eyes and peaceful faces,
a gentle hug,
a loveless winter,
long-lasting grey nights,
an empty room,
clouded thoughts,
desperation for light lightning and snow,
people hiding in their coats,
a cold shrug.
Edit: Sorry for any English mistakes
Youre english is amazing I hope you make it far in life
You are Cool and Right man. Cheers from Sweden.
Wow that was good. Greetings from the netherlands
oh my god you are a gorgeous human being, you can do it, coming from such a different place is challenging but I take you as being someone who can easily face it. i believe in you, your English was impeccable, you must write a book honestly!!!
@@Mars-eg9bg thanks that means a lot ❤
this playlist feels like a slow descent into madness. the kind of insanity of someone who has nothing and no one to lose. at first, there is pain, there is anger. there might even be a few tendrils of hope left, desperately clung onto by increasingly cold, tired hands. until they don't. until only an empty shell remains.
These tunes many times refer to the emptiness and Loneliness we live it. No matter how much we try but it eats us from within and highlight the deep cracks and morbid silence we have.
If you sit and wonder about your existence long enough, it doesn’t feel like you are truly alive, right? In the end, we are all just a lump of flesh and bones with a conscience. How do we know that we are the only intelligent forms of life in the universe? What IS the universe? How did we truly get here if no one was around to see it all happen? To think of the endless galaxies upon galaxies in this universe feels so suffocating yet beautiful at the same time. I don’t know whether I should be grateful for my existence or guilty for taking up more room on this dying planet we call Earth. How do I find a way to stop all of these terrifyingly radiant perceptions of our world? Please, someone must feel the same way I do, right. Right?
You spoke facts
Yeah absolutely... its incredible to think of the universe as a whole and us compared to it.
"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?"
Psalms 8:3-4
I do but … lucky for me, God found me in my despair and rescued me . I have hope and my existence have eternal meaning.
These songs evoke a strong sense of nostalgia I have with my depression.
It is crazy how your mind is.
I love these songs cause they provided me comfort, comfort of a weird sort but I can't bear the emotions they fill me with anymore.
It brings me comfort too after releases tears that are hard to get released any other way, the music and title of the video and songs are kinda soothing
This is how i felt all my life and finally i start to trust to Jesus and give that 'not my life feeling'. Now i m feel i don't belong here even more but i get it that is okay and i m happy now. Thanks for the playlist. It s good for heairing and thinking. Sorry for mistakes
I need most of these for my studies, I hear simply nothin matters anymore. Nothin so graat, and nothin that's too weak that it can't walk. practically water and mud
a place called home
will never be known,
for aslong as i remember
i have been alone.
im meant to be afraid
but i wont call it faith.
im meant to be alone
but i want to call someone my home.
my heart trying to find its place
is like trying to find a book in the library,
you dont know if its gonna be a good book
or a bad one. its the same with humans.
growing up i knew i was gonna be a lonely person,
a person with love to give but not to get.
a person so kind and gentle
will never be chosen.
thats what i had to learn the hard way in this world.
now.. i am afraid. and i will call it my faith.
I always think about the fact that I could've been a totally different person if I was somehow somewhere else, surrounded by different people.
I'm glad you are who, where and when you are. 👍
@zakshei same!
And could have whole different story whole different feelings that I haven't felt yet
listening to this allowed me to relax. it's christmas but i feel strangely empty. thank you for this playlist.
Nothing stays forever, not even your problems. So keep living and don't give up.