My Life as an Introvert in Europe
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- Опубліковано 9 сер 2021
- This is my life as an introvert in Amsterdam 🇳🇱 during COVID...
"Why are you so quiet? Are you ok?" This is an all too common question I get...
I've always been an introvert, but I really did not understand and appreciate what that meant until recently...
There are many misconceptions about introverts-shy, quiet, antisocial-which are not true. It's really about how people process energy levels...
Check out my other videos:
💰 How much does it cost to live in Amsterdam? • How much does it cost ...
✈️ Why I left California for Europe
• Why I left California ...
🌎 Website: www.saywen.com/
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Who am I? 😀
I'm David, a Californian living in Amsterdam. I grew up in San Francisco, studied and worked in LA, took a sabbatical around the world, and then packed my bags for Europe. I make videos about lifestyle design, hiking, and living/working/studying in Europe.
☕️ Support me with a coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/davidwen
#introvert #introversion #personality #amsterdam #netherlands
Greetings from a fellow introvert living in Amsterdam. It's the greatest gift freeing yourself of societal 'expectations' or incentives, of which extroversion is just one. And live authentically, letting your intrinsic motivations and intuitions lead the way.
Hello there! Nice to know it's not just me 😁 Yea you're right-there was a time when I tried so hard to be someone I wasn't...it just took up too much energy. Hope you've been doing well during the past year?
Hi there, I happen to be the number 1 introvert on the planet. Introverts have it made! For example, we are the only group of people around, that when told by another human being to, “go fuck ourselves!” We actually CAN!
I always thought I was weird. At the age of 30, I found out that this is called introvert :) I am just like you. Greetings from Poland
You're not alone...and not weird! There's a big group of us-25 to 40% of the global population are introverts. We are all there...though we may not be the most visible. And we are unique in our very own way =)
Amsterdam is great for being an introvert. It has everything you need nearby like a small town, but also offer the anonimity a big city can offer if you seek it. Its very safe and not overcrowded (except some touristy spots obviously) and people will not bother you and mind their own business. If you do seek company, a local bar is never far. Just order a drink, hang at the bar and people wll be open to a casual conversation.
JUst wait when the tourists return. Going to be hell.
Introverts don't usually like bars. The noise is overstimulating.
"Amsterdam is great for being an introvert." That must be one of the most stupid things I ever heard in my life.
My thoughts exactly. Anything more than 3 people feels uneasy. And large crowds are something to be endured.
There are many writers who were introverts. Hesse, Hawthorne and many others.
🙋🏾👍
Yes! I can do bigger crowds (I’ve learned how to navigate and endure them)…but I prefer smaller ones. Haha how funny…I’m currently with a big group of people on a retreat, and I’m “hiding” in room by myself right now “recharging” my energy levels. I know I’ll need to get back out soon…but yeah :) And yes there are many introverted writers and introverts from all professions!
@@hidavidwen Oh, I feel you 😁
Hello from South Korea.
I'm also an introvert.
Your video has comforted me and warmed my heart.
I'd like to live as wise and humble as you.
I have to say that you are encouraging me to think like that.
Besides, your video tells that how deeply you look at things.
Your videos are so beautiful. Thanks a lot.
Thank you 🙏 glad to hear…I hope you can live a life true to yourself :)
Hello David, my name is Josie and I am a 62 year old introvert. Sometimes when I voice my opinion spontaneously, I regret and critic my burst of freedom. Now that I travel I have found many persons that are compatible and share my interests such as faith, theology and social history.
Through my pilgrimages to Sacred sites in Europe and Israel I have embraced conversations of faith which is such an enormous subject. It is so thrilling to continue learning that I have forgotten my shyness.
I do agree on the super powers you speak about, for I observe and read unspoken words of others. For me, I live alone but relay on my strong faith and Trust in him. Through prayer (meditation) I connect with my Lord and a higher state of exsistance. All I want to do is Please him, with my exsistance.
So I don't mean to be preaching but I too am all good with Me. Buom Camino, Looking foreward to yur next Portuguese episode.
Hi Josie - thanks for watching and sharing your perspective. It’s nice to know we are not alone on this journey. And what I do love about the camino is being able to “reconnect” whether that is with self, others, or something else. I feel like I am myself on these pilgrimages. And it helps me be more true to myself when I return to the “real world.” Thanks again…you got me thinking deeply again!
As I'm about to move abroad alone, I think that I've overcome the "fear" of eating alone, having a walk alone etc, just by watching your video. It just made me realize that it's normal. I love my family, but I'm currently 25, and they do not understand the thing that I want my place to get some rest every day after work. I sleep normal in my family house, but never feel like getting some rest, due to not having a really quiet environment. Netherlands is one of my options, and I'm glad to hear that Amsterdam is a nice place for introverts. Keep up the good work!
Hi Sotiris - thanks for your comment! We are all very different as people, and I'm glad to hear that you've also overcome the fear of eating alone...and now you are moving abroad alone-I think it'll be one of the greatest learning experiences of your life! Best of luck and appreciate your support! - David
Such a beautiful video! I can relate 100% as a fellow introvert. Thank you for making such a video and sharing your journey! So many people just don't understand our need for solace to re-charge.
Thanks Roxana for the kind words. Ah it's so refreshing to hear from other introverts too...many people don't get us...we just need to recharge!
i respect your choice of being . Many prefer to hide this character.
Thanks Hariharan. Yeah I hid for a while to be honest...but it's hard to be someone you're not. But yeah it's what makes us unique!
I'm a bit introverted but my wife is an extroverted type (her dad is extra extra extra). The point is that there is chaos in her life. Then she comes to me and finds peace and comes to herself. Conversely, she takes it by the hand and takes it to places where I don't often go. I don't know which is better, both I think...
Thanks for sharing. That sounds like a nice, complementary mix =) I also appreciate my extroverted friends who bring me out of my comfort zone. And I...also bring a different, more calm, introspective mix to the party =)
Hi David, I'm an introvert as well. I've often been asked 'you are quiet, what's wrong' !!! I love what you say that you get energy from being alone, me too. My ex gets energy from having people around him 24/7, one of the reasons we divorced. I like people but don't need them around me constantly. 🥰
Thanks Anne. Glad you could relate. And that others can relate too. It's hard because society tends to favor the loud ones (or maybe they are just heard more)...but I've come to view it as a strength.
Thank you for letting me into your world for a while. And for that unfamiliar to me way of feeling and seeing the world.
Aw thanks so much for watching and you're welcome. It's sometimes a strange world (for me) to be in...especially in a loud, loud world. So I appreciate it.
I am so glad you mentioned "Quiet." My fiancé's late grandmother gifted me hers - I ended up citing that as a source discussing how the American commercial illustration industry perpetuated the extroverted salesmanship persona built in the mid 1900's. I find more commonalities in your videos the more I watch. Thank you for sharing your genuine experiences and perspective - it matters.
Thanks Raime :) I just recommended that book to a colleague a few days ago too. Hm yeah the media has definitely perpetuated the extroversion ideal in society. And thanks for sharing as well!
Hello from New Amsterdam -- great video. I'm an introvert as well and value time by myself walking around NYC listening to podcasts and enjoying the city.
Hey John! I always walk around and listen to podcasts :) introverts unite!
Thank you so much. After listening to your words, I am felling relieved and happy.
You’re welcome :) glad to hear you are feeling more relieved. Take care!
Love your video. I also enjoy my own company. I understand you. I will share it with my son who is also an introvert. Thanks for posting.
Thanks Anabella - we are not alone =) And thanks for understanding me, I feel seen
Excellent video, I’d even say it is one of the best on the subject I’ve seen so far. There is this calmness to it which instantly caught me. I hope you are doing well. Best wishes and greetings from Germany.
Thanks for the kind words 😄 Glad this resonated with you. Best wishes from Amsterdam and take care!
Hi David. What a fantastic video. Every word you spoke I can relate to in every way. I thought that I was just a very antisocial person. I never thought that I could be an introvert and that is ok. Maybe I am? I am going to read Susan Cain QUIET to get a better insight on the subject. Maybe that will allow me to understand myself better and feel more comfortable with who I am. Thank you David. You video has moved me greatly. Keep sharing. You are helping people out there. I came across your video's when you walked the Camino. I have walked the last part Sarria to Santiago, and when Covid is over I want to go back to start from St Jean. Walking is my true salvation and love. Keep up the sharing. Cheers Graham
Hi Graham - thanks so much for your kind words. It's nice to know that I'm not alone as well. It took me some time to realize and be OK with it. Well...this week was a good test. I was out this week on a team retreat and it was 2 full days of socializing-and I was completely drained-but I just decided to take the time for myself to "recharge" whenever I felt drained-and I left the group several times to just rest. People did comment that I was "away" but I was 100% OK with it-I was just resting.
By the way, this is Susan Cain's TED talk (The power of introverts) that I've watched a million times too = ua-cam.com/video/c0KYU2j0TM4/v-deo.html
Oh I miss St. Jean-you will love the route over the Pyrenees. So beautiful. I am also hoping to do another Camino soon...maybe the Portuguese.
Cheers, David
@@hidavidwen Thanks for your reply. I've watched the video. Very interesting. What a wonderful passionate speaker she is. Very thought provoking.
Enjoy your day David. Cheers Graham
I just came across this video and your channel as I was looking up "moving to Europe' videos on UA-cam. This describes me so much except I always tend to tell people I'm an "Introverted Extrovert" almost as if it's more acceptable, but after watching your video this describes me! As you said, introverts get energy by being alone and we are. not anti-social. In fact, I mostly thought I wasn't introverted enough because in my job, creative work, and when I do go out or am social...I seem more extroverted. Honestly though...I think a lot of it is people pleasing and over-compensation as it's seen (especially in American culture) as weird to like to be alone. Thank you for this video and your channel that I am excited to now explore! Maybe I'll look into Amsterdam as a city to move to:)
Hi Risa - oh thanks for stopping by and sharing. I really appreciate these comments because well...it's a lifelong journey to feel accepted and that we belong. But I get you-I used to spend so much energy trying to be someone else...more extroverted....and that was so draining. Anyways, I hope you fulfill you dreams-whether it be Amsterdam or somewhere else =)
@@hidavidwen thx David! same here. And whether I love there or not, I definitely plan to visit Amsterdam. Seems like an awesome city,
David, you're doing really well. I can only do one-on-one social interactions. When a third and fourth person enters the conversion, I get tongue tied and want to leave.
Thanks Audrey. I know what you mean…I used to struggle with that too..I’m ok with 3 or 4 now…anymore and it becomes a lot harder
But I’ve learned to embrace that as a strength :)
Ambivert 🙋♀️ back in the day I always thought I was an extravert but I also enjoy alone time and quiet etc. I think it's the best thing, best of both worlds!
Loved this video. I enjoy silent and calm vlogs, they are the best.
Hey Dija! Haha I know quite a few ambiverts...I thought I was one too? But I am definitely an introvert most of the time =)
Appreciate your comments and hope you take care
David
Sometime you find very precious content on YT.
Thanks 🙏
Aw thanks for your comment, I appreciate it =)
I’ve watched maybe 4 or 5 of your other videos, at this point, and identified you as an Ni-dom. Until this video, I thought you were probably an INTJ, but it sounds like you’re more likely an INFJ.
Being an introvert is awesome! I certainly wouldn’t want it any other way-I’ve always loved my rich, inner world, and not needing anyone else to entertain or comfort me. Only drawback is not being understood, but I’d still rather be me, by a mile!
- a 48-yr old INTJ from LA 😊
Haha only us Ni-people would know and type others. Yes, I'm an INFJ. I feel seen so thank you =)
I've come to love introversion as well! And I've come to appreciate it as well. I used to struggle a lot with not being understood...still to some extent now...but I'd learned to not give a damn what others think.
"Why are you so quiet?" (I still get this!)
"Because I'm listening."
@@hidavidwen I think it was around 2010 that I started seeing articles & videos about introverts, and it was revolutionary for me! I finally comprehended why others didn’t understand me, and that the general population likely never will, so it was a relief to know that “getting out there” wouldn’t do any good, for some of us who are what I call, “limited edition.”
We should have merch identifying ourselves as LE, then having our MBTI type next to it, or the like (real astrology is useful to further parse our archetypes, as well). 😂
The book that the universe sent into my life was “The Introvert Advantage,” by Marti Olsen Laney, and that was the first time I felt seen by someone I’d never met. SO important to have representation in the world, esp. for those of us who comprise a tiny minority! As an INTJ woman, I don’t think I’ve ever met another one in person, other than my high school chemistry teacher. Fortunately, INTJs are well-represented in the professional world, so when I’d see them on TV as a kid, I could identify with their skill set, and I felt in my body that to varying degrees, I could do what they did (ie, same aptitudes)-being self-aware saved me from potential confusion & existential crises.
If you don’t already, check out the various MBTI channels-you’ll feel fully seen & understood, and completely validated in your proclivities & sensibilities-there are even channels where it’s solely about INFJs. Even if the people in your world offline might not get you, at least you’ll know that it’s possible for even a a stranger to identify you correctly-it just won’t be *that* many people….but that will always be the burden of being “limited edition,” though rarity is also what makes something even more valuable. 💎 😉 ✨
Hopefully, our institutions of “education” will integrate things like learning about archetypes, so that we can recognize & validate our inherent tendencies & patterns. It’d be nice if we all understood each other better. Some won’t care, but but for those who are simply unaware of Types as a concept, it’ll be life-changing for them to both understand themselves & others better.
Hello from the Bay Area. I'm also an introvert and can relate to everything you said. Great video. Just subscribed!
Thanks Khanh. Nice to hear from someone in the Bay! So far away...yet still very close to my heart =)
A peaceful video for introverts. Thanks David!
Thanks Kim :) Introverts 🙌
@@hidavidwen The noisy world may not understand introverts, but introverts accept the world as it is.
Yes! Susan Cain's Quiet is indeed a fantastic insightful and life changing book.
Yes! I would say that (Quiet) is one of my favorite books…it was life changing indeed. That it’s ok to be an introvert…ok to be myself!
Love this. Greetings from an introvert!
Thanks and thanks for stopping by fellow introvert!
Thanks for sharing this beautiful and interesting film. Big hugs from Oslo, Norway. 🇳🇴
You're welcome Randi and thanks for the kind words. Cheers from Amsterdam =)
This is one of the most personal and honest videos I have seen. You are such a beautiful person!
Aw thanks Heleen :) Appreciate it 😊
@@hidavidwen You are so welcome! I just showed your video to my nephew as he is an introvert as well but people tend to give him all kinds of labels. Thank you for being so open about who you are and that you are willing to share the process of how you got to this state of being/mind with all of us. That takes guts! You are a beautiful person!
@@helena19741 =) Just want to share one more thing...Susan Cain's "Quiet" book really inspired me to just be myself (I'd recommend it as a nice read!)...her TED talk ("The power of introverts") is also inspiring = ua-cam.com/video/c0KYU2j0TM4/v-deo.html
Great video David. Well spoken.
Thanks Mack! Hope you’re doing well
I love your video David. Thank you for sharing.
Aw thanks 🙏 you’re welcome
Thank you for your insights! I'm also an introvert and learn how to accept it and taking it as a good thing in life. I've discovered your channel recently and this is one of my best channels on UA-cam already. Very high quality, thoughts and knowledge. You have one more fan!
Thanks for the kind words 😊 really appreciate it. Yeah self-acceptance is not easy but so important
Hi David.... another great video. Thank you!
Hi Fernando - thank you :) And thanks for watching this one. - David
Thank you David for making this beautiful video. I’m also an introvert and have been through the same journey of self discovery as you have. I’m a much happier person now knowing my true self and being ok with that.
Love your channel!
Thanks so much for the kind words! Yeah I really enjoyed the book "Quiet" (Susan Cain)-that book changed my perspective
hi David, I liked very much your video about being introvert in Amsterdam. So goog to hear you saying that being alone is not being lonely. Good to see you liking to ge alobe and spending your time well.
I would like to talk to you a little about your own culture. I have some questions maybe you can answer them for me?
Having sometimes a good conversation is very important.thank you
Thanks for watching. Yeah I definitely enjoy my alone time...but I also enjoy connecting with people
Thank you, David for sharing your life story. I can totally relate to this episode. I learned to accept of who I am but that took many many years. Fyi -I came across your channel when I was searching for the Camino Santiago on UA-cam and found your channel. I got hooked and watched all your episodes and loved them all. I’m turning 55 this year and I wanted to do the walk. I may need to postpone it as i can’t take 5 straight weeks off work. Take care and all the best on your studies in Netherland. I’ve been to Amsterdam and it’s such a beautiful city.
Oh wow thanks for your comment. I was just having a conversation about introverts yesterday! Mainly about introverts climbing up the corporate ladder (the difficulty)...yeah it takes time to accept the power of who we are...we are all different with unique strengths.
I hope you get to walk it this year or whenever...you'll love it. I'm hoping to do the Camino Portuguese next =)
@@hidavidwen looking forward to reading your journey to Camino Portuguese. Please keep sharing your experiences. You’re such an excellent storyteller. Take care!
I can be "On" and socialize very well. I had to learn that. People mostly even perceive me as Bubbly. But after a day socializing I disappear for two weeks or so. Recharging. People who know me accept me for the way I am and know that I'm fine. I'll resurfice when I'm ready to ;)
Haha totally me too. I can turn it on when needed but it can’t be on for too long!
@@hidavidwen ;)
@@yvonnecampbell7036 so relatable. People wear me out after a while I have to be alone to recharge my batteries. Sometimes I go to hide in the toilet 😅
@@naimatayo8300 xD
Know them feels. I might have to pick up that book and wild I have that exact fortune on my white board in front of me.
Oh wow what a coincidence! But very true =)
From one intro to another, I totally get you. "I'm alone but not lonely"... words I frequently tell concerned family and friends.
Aw thanks Anna and happy to hear it resonates with you too!
This was actually pretty hilarious 😂 thank you
And perhaps by way of poetry this presentation conveyed very informatively what life is like in NL.
Your story sounds very similar to mine! I also grew up as an introvert in the US and through my travels, found northern European culture much more compatible with my personality.
I wonder if you've noticed this as well?
I'm planning to move to Europe next year and coincidentally, Amsterdam is near the top of my list as well as Copenhagen and Berlin. Would love to chat about your experience sometime!
Hey there! Oh wow that's really nice to hear. I think you have a point there regarding culture. In my personal experience...compared to northern Europeans, US culture is more flashy, being out there in the spotlight, what you do, where you went to school, "louder" (especially in LA where I lived for 10 years)...whereas northern Europeans care less about that-Dutch culture is sort of the exact opposite...you don't want to be in the spotlight-it's more about being average and equal.
Amsterdam is a nice place! I'm still trying to get to know the city as it opens up...but let me know if you have any questions. Where are you moving from?
@@hidavidwen I'm coming from LA as well so I think we have another similarity there too haha.
I definitely appreciate the 'average and equal' vibe in Europe. People just seem less anxious about money and status and have a better quality of life. I spent some time in Norway recently and although my perspective was as a tourist, their society just seemed more balanced and happy. Anyway, I've made the decision to move and now I just need to visit a few cities to see where :)
I'll probably visit Amsterdam sometime this year.. would be great to connect if you're around!
Hey, I'd like to point out that there are many other possibiities in the Netherlands other than Amsterdam, Like Alkmaar, Haarlem, delft, which are all relatively close to Amsterdam and a lot cheaper to live in.
@@tenstoelwinder3101 Thanks for pointing that out! Do you live nearby? Yeah I realized everything is so nearby and so accessible with the train-even from The Hague, it's only an hour or so away
@@hidavidwen Currently I'm living a little out of the area, namely Western Australia. But I was born and raised in The Netherlands and foreigners tend to fixate on Amsterdam, which is possibly the most expensive place to live in NL. The joke was that if you wanted to rent in Amsterdam, your parents better apply for you when you were 12, the waiting lists are so long.
I can relate so much 😊💕🌷 Thank you very much for the great video 🙏🙏
Glad that you could relate ana :) And thank you
Let me keep it simple: I really liked this video. Good job quiet partner ;)
Amen! Cannot say things better. Well done David.
Thanks Ian :)
Thank you. Felt as though I was listening to a little future self in my ear reminding me I'm okay and don't need to be loud and vocal.
I grew up in a big family with constant noise and life thinking I had to keep up. As I got older I found I enjoyed my solitude and in turn lost connection with many many people family and friends. Only just recently been learning to be okay with being alone because as you say "I'm alone but not lonely".
wow very recognizable and vulnerable what a beautiful video again. greets Edwin
Thanks for sharing this video! I'm reading Quiet Influence: The Introvert's Guide to Making a Difference now. Quitting the fake extroverted act has been something that I've been working on over the years. I think for introverts there really is no therapy we can attend or role models who will take us under their wing to teach us how to be. I think as introverts, we are forced to be more self-sufficient by providing ourselves with the therapy through deep thinking and seek out role models in person and through media.
Thanks Jeremy for watching and sharing your insights! Happy to connect with another introvert. I read that book (Quiet) back around 2013...and it really changed my life. I was struggling in the corporate world being an introvert, and it made me realize what introversion is and how to use it to my advantage. It's still hard...but you're right, we need to find the right role models and use our strengths as introverts.
this is very beautiful 🥰 beautiful video, beautiful content, you are beautiful. You're blessed that you discovered all this and that you are able to listen to silence. I feel the same and it's very comforting to hear somebody analize all this is a clear way. Thank you. might see you one day on a camino🥰
Thanks Verena! I will do another camino one day. Buen camino =)
@@hidavidwen sure you will🥰
Very good video, thanks so much for that! :)
I feel exactly the same in regards to my introversion and had very similar problems growing up. Always good to be reminded that there are many people like us all over the world.
We are normal and awesome! ;)
Thanks Arthur! We are normal and awesome indeed! And we’re not alone :)
Hi David.
The quality of this video is like one from a channel with hundreds of thousands of subscribers. Your use of music and your shots is really good (however, this is coming from someone with little to no experience in filmmaking).
What you said about being introverted really resonated with me. I believe I am also an introvert but I've always felt like it's something wrong with me, and that it's "normal" to be more extroverted. But you put your perspective across very eloquently and it's actually made me feel more comfortable just being "me".
I found your channel from your Camino de Santiago video. I'm walking the Camino Frances in May and I'm hoping it will help me to connect with people more, as even though I am an introvert, I still crave the experience of meeting and getting to know people.
You can consider me a subscriber. Looking forward to your future videos.
James.
Hi James - it’s nice to meet you and thanks so much for the kind words! Haha I appreciate it…I’m still doing a lot of learning but I’m definitely more motivated now 😄
Oh yeah I get it…I still get the “David, you’re a little quiet today” in meetings but if I don’t have anything to say, I won’t! But I’ve learned to accept that whereas before I would get anxious to try to come up with something to say just to say it! But hang in there, we are in this together…
Oh camino in May! It’s going to be great. It’s a place where you’ll meet introverts/extroverts, old/young, and everyone in between but no one cares…people are 100% accepting and you can just be yourself because there is absolutely no competition and everyone is walking with their own story and reason.
Let me know if you have any questions too. Feel free to send a message about your camino, I’m keen to hear!
David
Wow, I have felt completely identified with what you have explained, and I like how you have done it
Thanks Victor :) There are a lot of introverts like us in the world!
David, I stumbled upon your video & am so glad I did. This was beautifully made and your words resonated so deeply with me. I'm an introvert too, but am really good at turning on my 'extrovert' button when I need to (I call myself an 'extroverted introvert'). I used to use the word 'shy' to describe myself but your video has helped me see that this is inaccurate - I'm not shy, I'm very good at connecting with different people on a personal level, am certainly not anti-social, and have always been able to make friends quite easily. But at the end of the day, if I had to choose between going to a big party vs a cosy night in curled up with a book or relaxing dinner with 2-3 friends, I will always choose & prefer the latter! I love that you accept this quality about yourself - and this video helped me better accept this part about myself too. And I have to say that as someone who is now in her early 30s, it's getting easier for me to decline the party invites too 😂💛
Hey Leesa! Thanks for the thoughtful comment =) I used to struggle a lot with being an introvert (especially in the corporate world)...I mean it's still not easy but that's another story, and I've come to accept it. I also prefer small, intimate gatherings with good people vs. a big party...otherwise my batteries need a lot of recharging. Something that's helped me is energy management (vs. time management) and thinking about how I manage my energy throughout the day. One of my favorite books that changed my life is Susan Cain's "Quiet: The Power of Introverts"-it helped me accept my introversion.
And woah cool channel you have! I've stumbled upon a few of your videos. Nice to meet another expat here sharing their experience. What's next?
@@hidavidwen I can really relate to everything you just said. I often picture myself as a Sims character, and am still learning how to ration my energy so that I'm not overextending myself throughout the week. I'll be reading this book for sure :)
And thank you! It seems ironic that introverts like us have decided to start very public UA-cam channels, but it's actually such a great outlet to share our own stories & experiences, and connect with others in a calm/peaceful way ☺I'm looking forward to following your expat life through your channel!
@@LeesaYu Haha yes I agree, it's like the perfect outlet for introverts to express ourselves and connect with others. Also looking forward to following your experiences too! =)
Beautifully said.. I like your video and I can relate to this.. Always stay true to yourself , thats what make you unique , you do things that makes you happy and have balance in your life and there is so much more to learn in life and from the people your surrounded with and especially enjoying being alone… i I think your doing great
We have a saying ‘ nothing is allowed, everthing is allowed ‘
Thanks for stopping by Ilse. Sometimes I still struggle with being an introvert in a 'loud world.' ..but you're right that we are all very unique. Comments like these give me energy so thank you =)
Perfectly edited vid, i really like it. Congrats! Me sorprende que tengas tan pocas visitas, sigue así y crecerás mucho, este video es oro. And keep learning spanish. 😀
Muchas gracias! Sí me gustaría continuar a aprender español porque me gustaría conectar con más personas en el mundo :)
Gracias David, éxitos para ti amigo, saludos desde Caracas Venezuela 🇻🇪. 🤗🤗🤗
Hola flor, estas bien alla? Y muchas gracias. Espero que estes bien. =)
You learned how to be alone... 👌👍 Good on you m8!
I was an extrovert til the age of 32, when I realized that I like being alone.
Man, what a blessing that was! I realized that being extrovert really sucks! Mainly because I had that need of being with others and just the thought of being alone made me uncomfortable. Now, the way I see it, having this need of company, is a dependence just like love and sex. They're needs where I was dependent on others to be able to for fill these needs! Today I don't feel those needs anymore, but instead I can choose when and if I want to have company or a partner. So it's a huge difference for me! Dependence sucks, no matter big or small!
Edit: The only dependence I want to ever have is on myself! Never again on others!
Thanks again Kif. Oh yeah...what a blessing it is to learn how to be alone (and be OK with it). Of course I love people and need connection...but I'm also very OK and happy being by myself at times =)
Hi David, your words in this video truly touched me. I’m having a hard time at the moment and fighting my way of finding myself again. For me, that’s the ultimate purpose of life and as an introvert you often feel misunderstood among other.
I love how you speak about Europe in your videos, it’s reminding me, how special this part of the world is I’m living in. As you love travelling, maybe you need someone to show you Germany someday (especially Frankfurt am Main). I would love to show you this special city, I can now call my home :)
Thanks so much for connecting and sharing. I know it's not easy but know that you are not alone in this...while I can't say I know what you are going through, I've also gone through the challenges of "finding myself." And I hope things get better for you. You aren't alone. Thanks for the offer as well, I appreciate it =)
Great video! I always eat alone in public in the Netherlands, I don't care about what others think.
Thanks Nancy! I love eating alone at times and have also stopped caring :)
Hello David.
Come to Switzerland, it’s a country of introverts. For a while I have been thinking what’s wrong with me. But then I understand, they are calm, living alone…. Also I learned a new word - being “reserved”.
Galina Marina! Oh I would love to...I miss the mountains. Nothing is wrong with you...yeah introversion is really about energy levels. I will text you soon
Love listening and watching your video's. I myself am also anxious going to the office again and feel more comfortable with a smaller group of people. I kind of strive from working at home. Greeting from a fellow introvert in Zaandam.
Hey there - oh thanks so much for the kind words. Yeah I definitely prefer small groups. So as an introvert, how has the past 1.5 years been for you?
@@hidavidwen The past 1.5 years were okay for me. working from home I could contemplate on my well-being and choose to talk to people form work that In find interesting through teams. There were no 'forced' events that I had to attend. I did do a lot of outdoor activities in the nature and came at ease. it also made me relaxed and listen to classical music and enjoy reading a book and listening TED podcasts. I spend vuluable time with my family. Avoiding big crowds was a lot easier. Saying this what I did miss is going on holidays, visiting museums etc. For my soul it has been quite relaxing.
@@MrX-cd6be Yeah I've also enjoyed the time listening to podcasts and reading-the past few years have been ok for me as well. Yeah no more awkward in-person meetings haha. The valuable time with family is a big one...I've been able to travel and work from home which I very much value. It's been quite relaxing...I do hope things get better soon though!
If you are looking for a damn good restaurant try Bistro Neuf, always my favorite when I'm in town. Also, I really enjoy sitting by myself at the Cafe Emmelot with a hot chocolate, rolling joints on my cellphone watching the tourists go by.
Very jealous of your introverted life in the 'Dam. I miss it all the time.
Thanks for the recommendations (Bistro Neuf and Cafe Emmelot)-never been but just bookmarked them on Google! I love just chilling at cafes here on a nice, sunny day and just people watching.
When were you here?
@@hidavidwen The first time was '09/'10 -- was working on some writing for awhile in the 'Dam - since then I have been back a few times. Used to stay near the Amstel Hotel, Wibautstraat.
Cafe Emmelot is a bit wild at night (especially if you don't like Tom Jones) but it's quiet enough during the day.
Bistro Neuf was up for a Michelin once - not sure if they ever recieved it but I hope they did.
If you haven't tried it yet, De Carrousel Pannenkoeken is DEFINITELY worth a stop. It makes me cry when I think about those poffertjes...
It so happens that my partner and I actually thinking of moving back, we are in Canada.
Nice video, thanks for sharing/watching from Sweden
Thanks Marie!
we love you the way you are💚
Thanks :) It's a journey to learn to accept oneself...
Excellent Video, good topic, Thanks
Thanks Manuel!
@@hidavidwen there is a big diference between alone and lonely, somepeople just want to be alone.
I love being an introvert..., but when you are married... those will not be possible... unless you married another introvert. Introvert is good, I love it. More peace.
Hi Andrew. Thanks for your comment. Yes, accepting and being able to be yourself is nice =)
...so beautifully explained, self-reflective and articulate... so much of what you said, is true for me too... I don't like parties much, but prefer more deep and intimate conversations with a few; when I'm withdrawn, I usually feel very content... the common association of quietness and withdrawal as a warning symptom of depression is very short-fetched, but also based on the fact that we then don't see what is going on inside of someone else, while when people chatter, laugh and behave exuberant, we (as a culture) assume that everything is fine, which isn't true either. To 'read' an introvert, you need to slow down yourself, and observe more closely... then you spot the contentment and delicate presence. Interesting enough: when we see someone meditating, it wouldn't cross our minds to worry about them - we rather worry about ourselves, to maybe should do more of that ourselves... my own conclusion in this is that I'm an introvert, and I need regular shots of extrovert-ness sprinkled in... I love to be surrounded by people, just not for too long... e.g. on my caminos I usually walked during day time by myself (with some exceptions) and then socialized towards the evenings, which never really went on for too long anyway, as everyone was also getting very tired by then... :)
Thanks for sharing. The camino is a great place for all personalities indeed! I spent many days just walking alone. Or with 1 other person (perfect for introverts). Some with a group. And then dinner with a bigger group. But always loved the freedom of doing whatever I wanted
Same feeling with u😭. David.
And I just really enjoyed my introvert life😭. Lonely but satisfied🤘🏻
Aw thanks for sharing Mia. As long as we enjoy it...on our own terms =)
beautiful video!!
Thanks!
Beautiful video!
Thanks Chris!
You have a lots inside, even you don’t speak much! Love your simplicity!
Thanks =) I appreciate you observing that. A lot can be said without words!
很棒的视频，谈吐和制作。Great video, talking, and editing! As someone who is about to live in the Netherlands, I am glad to see how wonderful Amsterdam is from your video!
Thanks for the kind words! Where are you moving to?
This share is poignant. When we are young, we think eating in school has to be with company. i remember. Youve found that you love your own company the best. Commendable. Alone isnt lonely for me, loud places aggravate and senseless small talk annoys me. Some feel they have to fill the air with their
words. You do such great interviews with people and are very atuned to them.. im from sf and live in the north bay area now. my son once lived in holland. love your channel. ❤
Aw thanks Dorie. Of course I do enjoy human connection...but I've come to enjoy my alone time-it's precious! Learning to be OK with that has been a journey though...but it helped me get through COVID-especially having just moved to a foreign country/city. And thanks for the kind, motivational words =)
David, thank you SO much for telling my story 🥹
Just bought the book ‚Quiet‘ ❤❤❤
May Jesus bless you
Wow, beautiful self-portret, brutally honest, the naked truth !!
Thanks :)
Excellent video. I identify with a lot of this, with one exception being that I actually like to be alone in big crowds, even as an introvert who identifies strongly with your framing here. It gives me the opportunity to be "with" people and to get some energy from them without having to devote my own energy to them the way I might in a social situation with lots of people involved - which can be draining if it's the wrong type of situation or social group, etc. Like others here in the comments, I'm also planning a move to the NL within the next several months, thanks for your insights from a fellow introvert! I never really thought of myself that way because I also like being around the *right* people, but I guess it makes sense now.
Hey there, thanks for your kind words! Oh yeah big crowds, well I know what ya mean. The right type of big crowd matters.
And welcome to the Netherlands soon! Is it official and where in the NL?
@@hidavidwen Utrecht! I'm moving for graduate school but am trying to get there on a work visa ahead of time in order to avoid the complications that come from registering as an international student.
@@freewheelinghorn Oh interesting. Curious to hear what the complications are? It was fairly easy when I did it (I also came here for graduate school!)...but of course did not have a company to sponsor me before I came!
@@hidavidwen Well, if I were to enroll as an international student I would have to provide a year's worth of living expenses up front. I don't have a year's worth of living expenses on hand in order to do that and could find no student loan providers who would work internationally with my school because it's out of their "networks" of schools these student loan providers work with. This is the issue with American student loan providers. As an American, I am also unable to get a European loan. I could theoretically get a private American loan, but that wouldn't really work in practice because private loans can't be deferred the way student loans can, so I wouldn't be able to live off of it and pay it off after graduating the way I would with a student loan. The final factor in this is that if I were on a student visa, I would only be legally allowed to work a limited number of hours and that limit would not enable me to pay my bills while pursuing my degree, especially if I am unable to get a student loan - in other words I've got to have something to live off, be it a loan or wages. Maybe I'm missing something but this is what I encountered when I was accepted to a master's program in May of 2021. I spent the next few months poring over websites, speaking with lenders from the US and the EU, with people from the IND and from my university, and couldn't find any solutions to this conundrum. So I settled on what seemed like the best solution: save up for a while here in the States while looking for Dutch employers who would be willing to sponsor me, move to the Netherlands on a work visa and re-apply for school as a resident of the NL. The IND told me this visa would make me eligible to avoid the "proof-of-cost-of-living" requirement that international students face due to the residential status it would give me. And since I would be on a work visa I would also be legally allowed to work as much as necessary to stay afloat, contrasting the legal limit on working hours that I would face if I were on a student visa. Of course this is fairly convoluted and some might ask why it's worth the trouble. The answer of course is that a similar program in the US would cost me $70,000 in tuition (I know from experience) while this specific Dutch program costs a fraction of a fraction of that. I'm not sure if this situation was something you had to deal with or not but if you or any other readers have any recommendations I'd be very interested in hearing them! My expertise is in audio engineering, sound design, music composition, and client relations, so it's tricky finding relevant positions, especially during covid since entertainment is largely shut down. I'm honestly past the point of being picky though; anything that will get me there would be worth it. The only other facet of this is that I really need something in or near Utrecht that's also part time, otherwise I won't have time to study - unless I'm able to switch employers after the fact and get that approved by the IND so that my visa stays valid. So anyway, like I said, it's complicated!
@@freewheelinghorn hey thanks for the response. I can relate to your situation in many ways. I was actually trying to find a way to Europe, tried looking for jobs around, but I found it difficult (it’s easy if you are a software engineer!)…and I was also changing careers. I looked at Masters in US…$80K tuition/2 years vs $16K/1 year in NL. Also I took into account cost of living…I ended up paying around $420/month on rent in a small town (Maastricht) vs. double/triple in a big US city. Also something to consider here too…it’s cheaper to study in a small town than Amsterdam. But yeah I figured if it didn’t work out, it’s only one year and not $100K+ in expenses/debt. Things worked out. But I did save up to get here (you will need to have around $25-30K for tuition + cost of living still a fraction of total cost US education). And a big PLUS…traveling around Europe on the weekends can be very cheap and easy :)
Anyways I plan to do a video on this topic so let me know if you have more ideas/questions. Also feel free to just post any other questions here if I may be able to help…or could benefit anyone else
David
Covid was a great time, no presure to "socialize". And you sure see who are your real friends. You do not need to meet to have contact. Seeing a friend after a year is like seeing him/her after one day, it just goes on where you left off.
Oh yeah, looking back...I do miss the quiet and the lack of pressure to "socialize" like you said. I actually kept in touch with my friends from home more than I do now (that's a good reminder to reach out again!)
@@hidavidwen it is so nice to have the oppurtunities we have nowadays. Internet gives you almost unlimited possibilities. so easy to give a quick note to your friends that you think about them.
Love your videos, it would be great to have subtitles.This will be very friendly to non-native speakers of English.
Hi Anna - On UA-cam, you ca go to settings and add English subtitles
David
so relatable. People wear me out after a while I have to be alone to recharge my batteries. Sometimes I go to hide in the toilet 😅
Haha hiding in toilets! I did (do) that too!
Great video…..!
I Love Your Video So Much I'm totally the same 🥰
Thanks so much =) I'm so happy to hear you also feel the same. And that we are not alone.
@@hidavidwen Yes indeed. Felt like I was an alien and fully accept my own being these days. Your video is the 1st video ever that perfectly describes how I live my life. It's nice to see there are more like me. Thanks for this beautiful video!
I can really relate to this. Just before covid I had the chance to rent a place in the countryside in Oost-Groningen, where I now live in relative sollitude, and I love it...
Hey Yvo - oh wow that sounds beautiful, did you live in a city before? Yeah that’s my dream one day…to live in a small town (hopefully surrounded by mountains and lakes)
@@hidavidwen I used to live in cities...
No mountains around here though... but lots of wide open stretches of flatland, wich is very soothing...
@@hidavidwen if you want to camp out here on the barn where I live (you can stay in one of the caravans, tents, cars, buses, whatever, to have your own private space) and experience this part of the Netherlands, let me know... you're welcome.
@@yvobroekhoven972 Thanks for the offer! If I'm ever in that part of the land, may send a message. I lived in Maastricht for a year...I know that's not a small town here but for me, it was the smallest place I've ever lived. And the pace of life was slower. I cycled into the countryside a lot...and I felt so calm. I'm still enjoying the city for now and for my career...but one day, I will move back to a smaller place.
@@hidavidwen I was born and raised in the province of Limburg, in a small town, less than 1500 inhabitants. I've been living around the country since I was 19 years old... in bigger towns, in cities. Never thought that I would be this happy in a place far from were I grew up. Flat wide open landscapes instead of more curved lanscapes with lots of water (like in Midden-Limburg) but somehow I seem to enjoy it a lot.
I can decide to take a walkt (ore bike ride), take a few turns from where I live, and can walk or cycle for hours without crossing paths with anyone...
Hi, i really appreciate this video, being an introvert.
Hey there, thanks so much fellow introvert =) How have you been over the past year with everything going on?
I'm extrovert and I think it's good to have different type of ppl in the world. My best friend are mainly introvert. Maybe they r great listener and when they open up and we maintain great friends
Hey Richard - yeah you're right, it's good to have a mix of good people around you. Some of my good friends are extroverts too...they definitely bring out a different side of me and also...I don't have to do a lot of talking =)
@@hidavidwen So true . come visit malaysia Penang, beautiful island. I'll be your host.
Hola David, me gustó mucho tu video, te escribo en español porque compartiste que empezaste a estúdialo durante la pandemia, pronto me mudo a Países Bajos y estoy practicando mi escucha en Inglés con tus videos, también sabes holandés?
Saludos desde México!
Hola Elizabeth, muchas gracias! Estoy muy feliz de escuchar esto. Jaja me gustaría continuar mis estudios en español y necesito empezar a aprender holandés! Ahora no sé holandés porque…pues cada persona en Holanda puede hablar inglés perfecto! Donde vives?
@@hidavidwen vivo en Guadalajara, Jalisco pero a finales del mes me voy a Eindhoven por el trabajo de mi esposo estamos contentos de esta nueva aventura!
I think a lot of old souls are introverts, because we innately know most of the things in society now are not genuine, like even in social interactions ppl are not really themselves, and all those surface stuff don’t interest us. It’s not that we don’t need company. We just need good company.
I like to listen you speak . Thanks
Thanks 😊
Together with yourself is never alone as a Dutch singer ones wrote.
😂
David!! If you come to Tilburg and you want to practice your Spanish I would be happy to teach you something for my language. 🌷⭐️
Hola Lola - muchas gracias por la oferta! Todavia no he visitado a Tilburg-un dia y tal vez ahora tengo una razon para visitarlo. Ahora estoy ocupado (muchas cosas jaja) pero me gustaria visitar a Tilburg y continuar practicando espanol!
@@hidavidwen Hola David!! Pues, acá siempre eres bienvenido!!. Hay muchas cosas que ver. Yo estaba en Amsterdam ayer. Pero regresaré pronto 🔜 o podemos vernos acá en Tilburg cuando tengas tiempo. Podemos hablar todo el día español porque es mi idioma :) . Espero estes bien. Graba más vídeos porfavor, son muy interesantes. Olé 💃 y hasta pronto 🌟
I feel the same. Hopefully, we can contact and meet one day
Thanks so much. I'm glad to hear there are others that feel the same way. We aren't alone =)
I really like your style
Aw thanks Lory 😊
Funny! During Covid i loved being on the streets in Amsterdam, so much more poetry when quiet! And i loved people standing at arm lenght and i still like not needing to shake hands. I have lived in Amsterdam for 26 yrs. Now we moved to the North to a house surrounded by our garden of 1400 square meters, and lots of nature around. I love it, but Amsterdam will always be my first and best love. I think this whole country is good for introverts.
ps, i was born in this country and i really wish Duch people were more...yes more.... direct...Duch people actually keep A Lot to themselves
Interesting! Yeah I get what you mean. Being direct doesn’t mean you will share all that is “inside” like emotions. Haha Amsterdam is back to normal which is nice (to try to meet people) but I do miss the quietness of it during COVID
@@hidavidwen For me the communication style i love the most is complete transparent direct communication. Itś the greatest gift of openness. I speak very direct from a neutral and friendly space. And iḿ sure people interpret it as irritated possibly or blunt. For me itś just quite naked sharing/interacting while cutting the crab 😊.
When people are talking to much in the perifery instead of the essence it might confuse me a bit, and it sometimes gives me a disturbed feeling as if you talk to me but you do not talk to me.
If you feel disrespectful while being direct, try it with people you know in Amsterdam and use your intonation and bodylanguage to make your respectful position clear...
In a crowded Amsterdam i used to wander around with soft music with a head phone. You can even use noise cancelling. If you walk around in your silent observer mode, you might get the feeling back a bit..? Like a detached observer,
Being extrovert, I often felt lonely and isolated in europe (especially holland and denmark). When I moved to Asia that feeling lessened. I want to try USA!
Hey Leo - oh yeah I can relate. I think we all need people (and it was especially hard during lockdown). Where are you from originally and was it difficult to meet people in Holland/Denmark?
I find it easier to socialize in the bigger, international cities like Amsterdam though. But it's mainly with internationals/expats so far...harder to get into social circles with the locals (not impossible).
@@hidavidwen I found in north europe, people are quite reserved. Can be difficult to make emotional connection. I'm British and it's also true there, but there are enough wild, crazy and open-hearted people (people you might easily find in Spain or Italy). In east europe, people act very guarded, but they will open up to you almost immediately if you're friendly.
Now I'm in Thailand, people here are extremely emotionally open. Sometimes it's too much haha!
@@XenosFiles Yeah you're right-there are people everyone, just have to search them out! Wow Thailand...now that is very, very different compared to Europe. Sounds like it suits your extroverted personality =) I love Thailand-the people there are so friendly
I hear you.
Thanks =)
I am alone but not lonely. Exactly me.
I learned how to survive in extrovert world. It’s very tiring.
Hi Lori - oh yeah it's really tiring. I'm still trying to be honest. What has helped for you?
Im from Russia, and after watching this video i realised im an introvert too, thanks for explanation my own )
Thanks for sharing. There’s quite a lot of us (some studies show 25-40% of population) so we are not alone :) Though many of us prefer alone time!
I feel you
Oh that's so good to hear...nice to know we are not alone!
I know how it feels... my case I try to be more open drinking and end up that I get more in bad situations and this make me more regretted and more introverted... so I talk more in chats etc. Sometimes I think the world system of living is creating more introverted persons. I feel more scare of judgmental people than anything else. Anyway very good videos.
Haha yes...I've learned to just be OK with being an introvert and some times not talking just to talk. I like asking a lot of questions though...so the other people talk...that's my secret to being social and introverted =) Thanks!
@@hidavidwen Indeed David asking a lot of questions and letting people talk is also my strategy. Absorbing different views and opinions is what I like to do.
Sadly the extrovert rule the world. Being alone with my thoughts is daily life. It is this misconception of not interested in others that gets me. And that overwhelming silence on a boat as a charger.
Hi Paul - oh yeah I can relate. I am quite interested in people and would say our mode (strength) of communication is not so much talking but listening and observing others…though it may come off as uninterested! Have you learned strategies on how to deal with this? Thanks for sharing
Hello David! How are you able to create such amazing UA-cam contents as an introvert.
Please which is the best niche in terms of content creation for introverts. I struggle a lot with putting my thoughts or ideas into speech or words even as a 50year old. I feel I have so much to offer. Please can you do a small group in-person masterclass on content creation. I live in Portugal, my hubby currently working in Netherland. I am a new Subscriber!
Hi Summer! Oh thanks so much for the kind words. It means a lot to me.
And I get you...I've always had a hard time putting my thoughts into words...probably because I have so much going on in my head!
But what I've learned being an introvert is...well to accept myself as one....because for the longest time, I tried to be someone I wasn't. It's not easy...but the most important part (for me). Because accepting myself and owning my strengths can actually be key to figuring out what and how I want to do things in life...
I still have a lot to learn in the content creation space...and I think that's what drives me. But what I've learned about niches is...well you won't know unless you do it and see what resonates with you, your strengths, and your values. For example, I don't think I am the most exciting person to watch given I am an introvert...so I would not be good on a reality TV show! But I do like research. And I do like introspection. And I do like get deeper with topics. And I try to hone in on that strength.
This was an essay! But thanks for writing. This is a topic that resonates a lot with me...and I know you have a lot to share and say...your words show that! I hope you can start and see where it goes =)
David
Same thought here
Hi Yvonne - oh glad that you could also relate. Hope you have been well - David