🤔 How to heal when you can’t remember the abuse [parental bullying]
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- Q&A: “How do I believe myself when I can’t remember specifics?
I fear them but can’t explain why”.
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Thank you for everything you are doing, Mary! I am 73, living in Sweden. I realized I am a FSA survivor through your teaching, and also a C-PTSD. Born of a Narc mother in a dysfunctional family, sexual abused as a child, married to an NPD for 30 years, 2 of my four children (Narcs), now in their fifties have aliened themselves to my original family and boosted them to scapegoat me even more. I am now in "no contact" with them all, it has been several steps during more than seven years. I have come a long way, have written a loong story of all my life, am now in a stage of grief and acceptance, have personal relationship with my heavenly Father, who loves me unconditionally, that is really important. And it helps a lot to know that I am not alone to be treated like this. Warm hug blessings to you Mary, and to all my sisters and brothers - FSA survivors
OMG that's amazing you got out..❤
Please if possible get therapy, it will help you heal you, your energy field so you don't attract a npd..so happy for you ❤🎉
Beste önskene❤ fra en av dine söstrene i skebne fra tyskland.
@@A.S.Harfenklang Thanks, may the Lord bless you and keep yiu!
@@lenat7198 🌻💁♀
Thank you for this. It reinforces that I made the right decision 4 years ago to walk away from the whole family and now I'm healing slowly but surely. How does everybody deal with the sadness that comes with it? Narcissistic mother got my adult son to abuse me by proxy all his life and today it's 7 years that my adult and only son wants nothing to do with me. I also believe that he's doing me a grand favor because he was always so very abusive, disrespectful and a very hard child. It took me a long time to realize because he was being babysat by my psychotic parents. And he was brainwashed they had money so they spoiled him as well. It's a whole lifetime of healing
I can remember quite a bit.. and am still working through the part of brain that feels like it’s ok .. even tho I know as an adult that sexual abuse is not ok.. that being whipped when a parent is mad at a sibling etc etc .. that’s where it has to do with self esteem for me…if I address this stuff with them I’ve been told that I am unloyal to family… selfish.. don’t know how to love etc.. just because I brought it up… coming to the conclusion that I might agree with them.. yes ur right… no longer loyal to a family that abuses me and values me nada.
Your narcissistic parent must've told your parents that you a pain etc..these people will only tell the story where you look bad.
I'm proud of you though because with this, your helping the future generation to heal ❤..you saved your kids so be proud
You are so right Mary! Thank you addressing this issue that I dealt with growing up in an extremely dysfunctional family. The lack of validation has been so damaging to my mental health over the years and has even affected my physical health as well. I was told to ignore the abuse from my siblings by my mother which was very invalidating. It's just amazing that even being in my sixties now I still feel the effects of being the scapegoat and that my feelings didn't matter and to basically toughen up.
:( just turned 60 as well… the sibling who sexually assaulted me has been praised by the family who knows that he did this to me.. and upon his death they put up a plaque for him in a park stating that he was a good man.. I loved him.. still do.. but seriously.. putting up a plaque for someone who molests your child and harasses them online as an adult.. ( he would cyber stalk and mock me, yell at me on phone etc… ) is a great way to tell the abused kid.. how much you hate them …
Thank you Mary!!
aa' can remember even if u cannot
aa' remember
bcz aa' was coercively manipulated and tricked
So now that I see the outline. I'm working on listing the new attributes of the therapy scheme.
Thank you so much, Mary. It's absolutely spot on as I didn't remember my childhood much at all until I needed some counselling some 15 years ago. I was telling her about what I remembered when she suddenly said 'Oh my dear girl', and she had tears in her eyes. That was when I realised that it wasn't normal and that I'd been emotionally neglected and abused. Something I always think about when I have doubts is that all the time I was growing up I used to get terrible nightmares often, two or three times a week. Most of the dreams were about me being in a cell condemned to be hanged and I could see my family through the window refusing to help me and variations on the same theme. It took me a long time to realise that they only stopped when I moved out of the family home and the implications of that!
When I was between 3-4 years old, I hit my head on the corner of a dresser so hard I got a concussion. I recall sitting and holding my head it hurt SO bad. When I told my mom, she said I deserved it.
I have always thought I couldn’t remember childhood memories because of the head trauma. But now I believe I can’t remember because of the mental and emotional abuse that followed.
Thank you Mary for your work. I want complete healing and I believe your video has given me insight to the journey I’m on. Thank you!
My heart breaks for children suffering alone like this 😰 in a loveless environment.
Delighted my video content is helpful 🌺
Thank you Mary for helping us heal. Do you have a program that we can take so we can facilitate support groups in our area? And resources to help us raise awareness in our communities? I do not use social media because of safety reasons but i want to raise awareness and bring people together so we can support one another and heal 💛
You can check out my website here
www.marytoolan.com
I was just asking for a new therapist today (was doing DBT but I need a more FSA approach and I was saying these EXACT things.. I need somatic therapy in my body. I can’t remember anything. Even the good memories around my teen years at school. People tell me that we did this and that and it’s just a blur.. It’s like I can’t remember anything of my childhood and teenage years. Is that normal?
@nikkimaurer7531 yes definitely normal. We do it as a protective mechanism. And it is a very intelligent strategy the subconscious employs to help us navigate the trauma ❤️🩹
The abuser drugs with Benadryl etc then abuses so you won't remember. The body keeps score where trauma is concerned as well as the subconscious
This is a awesome video.