A fashion friend of mine once said to me "you confidence defines how the world responds to you." I think this is so true. When I first started shopping for skirts in Tokyo, I was really self-conscious and nervous walking into women's sections or shops and it was terrible. So I decided to walk in like I own the place and go directly to the section I am interested in. When I started doing so, some shop staff asked if I was a stylist and when I explained my identity, they were quite supportive. One shop guy said "I love genderless fashion but I don't have the courage to wear a skirt." So I encouraged him to try the one on that I was considering so I could see it on someone else. And he did and that shop became a favorite. Another shop a very fashionable girl said "I wish guys would try more interesting fashion." So I think there are people in shops who are open and ready to support us if we give them a chance to.
If the first times shopping are scary, go shop with a friend who knows you identity and that you trust. Less chance of getting asked to leave the store, and you'll have somebody with you to ask for second opinions on items you're not sure about :)
another couple tips ive heard : dress in some of the most random stuff. confuse the hell out of people with your appearance , nothing has to match , just wear what makes you comfortable and what makes you feel like you like maybe a skirt with really feminine shaping/patterns etc with a more masculine top half , or a crop top with mens shorts whatever makes you happy , and whatever feels right for you this one isnt for everyone , but baggy clothes can help a lot , especially those who are afab and have chest dysphoria , baggy shirts especially do absolute wonders so yeah hopefully this helps someone 👍
So lovely to hear that finding the right clothing for you helped you feel a lot more confident! :D Note on sizing: It's pretty much bs in general. Humans are all uniquely shaped, but that's inconvenient when you want to mass produce stuff. So clothes are made so that most people can fit _into_ them but they actually _fit_ barely anyone. So yeah, don't feel bad if things don't fit. If you're looking for a very specific fit and can't find it, looking into sewing might be a good idea, or get things altered :)
You're definitely right about sales people. Most are very nice and helpful, and could care less about my appearance. I don't completely pass as a woman, but I've shopped in women's stores and it's almost always gone well. I will say that I do try to at least look a little feminine when shopping in women's stores, just to make it look like I "belong" there a little better. The only times I've felt a little self-conscious is when I'm trying on women's clothes that are a little more gender-neutral (or if the clothes end up highlighting my "masculine" features for some reason). Sometimes I'll come out of the fitting room to look at a larger mirror or otherwise engage with the salespeople concerning the fit of the item, but I won't do that as much if I feel more self-conscious about not looking feminine enough. I usually feel more concerned about other customers than the salespeople, though; younger customers (especially women in their 20s and 30s) don't seem to care as much, at least in my experience. One of my favorite women's stores (WHBM) does tend towards a more mature clientele (their target audience is women age 35+, and a lot of customers are in their 40s and 50s), but the clothes strongly represent my feminine style, plus there have normally been only one or two other customers in the store whenever I've shopped there. On the other hand, I definitely had a lot of confidence when I first shopped in an Aritzia store. Most of their fitting rooms don't have mirrors, and the store was super busy, although the younger clientele (and what appeared to be LGBTQ+/gender-nonconforming staff) did make it less intimidating IMO. If anything, most salespeople (and even other customers) have been quite supportive. Those who are truly discriminatory tend to be loud and outspoken, but are few in number.
A fashion friend of mine once said to me "you confidence defines how the world responds to you." I think this is so true. When I first started shopping for skirts in Tokyo, I was really self-conscious and nervous walking into women's sections or shops and it was terrible. So I decided to walk in like I own the place and go directly to the section I am interested in. When I started doing so, some shop staff asked if I was a stylist and when I explained my identity, they were quite supportive.
One shop guy said "I love genderless fashion but I don't have the courage to wear a skirt." So I encouraged him to try the one on that I was considering so I could see it on someone else. And he did and that shop became a favorite. Another shop a very fashionable girl said "I wish guys would try more interesting fashion." So I think there are people in shops who are open and ready to support us if we give them a chance to.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment confidence is definitely important and helping each other is key too!! Thank you!!
the world needs more gender neutral options
yess!!
If the first times shopping are scary, go shop with a friend who knows you identity and that you trust. Less chance of getting asked to leave the store, and you'll have somebody with you to ask for second opinions on items you're not sure about :)
yess exactly ! thanks for leaving a comment !
another couple tips ive heard :
dress in some of the most random stuff. confuse the hell out of people with your appearance , nothing has to match , just wear what makes you comfortable and what makes you feel like you
like maybe a skirt with really feminine shaping/patterns etc with a more masculine top half , or a crop top with mens shorts
whatever makes you happy , and whatever feels right for you
this one isnt for everyone , but baggy clothes can help a lot , especially those who are afab and have chest dysphoria , baggy shirts especially do absolute wonders
so yeah hopefully this helps someone 👍
thanks so much ! definitely an important perspective ! thanks for commenting !
of course , its important to help other people to feel better about themselves !
So lovely to hear that finding the right clothing for you helped you feel a lot more confident! :D
Note on sizing: It's pretty much bs in general. Humans are all uniquely shaped, but that's inconvenient when you want to mass produce stuff. So clothes are made so that most people can fit _into_ them but they actually _fit_ barely anyone. So yeah, don't feel bad if things don't fit.
If you're looking for a very specific fit and can't find it, looking into sewing might be a good idea, or get things altered :)
thanks so much for watching and leaving a nice comment, yes alteration is a great idea! I'm actually getting a sewing machine soon!
Ohhhh, exciting :D
You're definitely right about sales people. Most are very nice and helpful, and could care less about my appearance.
I don't completely pass as a woman, but I've shopped in women's stores and it's almost always gone well. I will say that I do try to at least look a little feminine when shopping in women's stores, just to make it look like I "belong" there a little better.
The only times I've felt a little self-conscious is when I'm trying on women's clothes that are a little more gender-neutral (or if the clothes end up highlighting my "masculine" features for some reason). Sometimes I'll come out of the fitting room to look at a larger mirror or otherwise engage with the salespeople concerning the fit of the item, but I won't do that as much if I feel more self-conscious about not looking feminine enough. I usually feel more concerned about other customers than the salespeople, though; younger customers (especially women in their 20s and 30s) don't seem to care as much, at least in my experience. One of my favorite women's stores (WHBM) does tend towards a more mature clientele (their target audience is women age 35+, and a lot of customers are in their 40s and 50s), but the clothes strongly represent my feminine style, plus there have normally been only one or two other customers in the store whenever I've shopped there.
On the other hand, I definitely had a lot of confidence when I first shopped in an Aritzia store. Most of their fitting rooms don't have mirrors, and the store was super busy, although the younger clientele (and what appeared to be LGBTQ+/gender-nonconforming staff) did make it less intimidating IMO.
If anything, most salespeople (and even other customers) have been quite supportive. Those who are truly discriminatory tend to be loud and outspoken, but are few in number.
thanks so much for your detailed reply! I hope it helps other and best of luck on your future shopping!! Thanks for watching !
Great video! Also nice thumbnail👀😁
Thanks! 😁