I have 70 year old neighbors who I text to stop by right away if they want a piece of warm apple tart straight from the oven. They ring the doorbell three days later at 10 am on a Monday morning during work and cheerfully announce, “We’re here for the tart, Can’t wait!” Like texts exist outside of space and time.
@@robindhood9125 Guaranteed they will break the algorithm at that moment, show up on your doorstep in 5 min, and proceed to instruct you on how to make a "proper" tart!🤣
Ι feel so called out right now too 🤣 But for me it goes like this: a notification comes while I'm multitasking and I'll check it automatically, but it will only half-register if at all, and I'll go back to the other 10 things I was doing at once. This will clear the notification and it will cause the text to appear as "read", so I'll completely miss it being there and needing a reply. I know I have ADHD traits/mild executive dysfunction, so it could be it, or it could be just a modern technology-information overload thing?
@@elliest55 see, i solve this by not looking until i have time. i think people hate it even MORE if you "read" the message and dont say anything. they would be more ok with you not "reading" it for a few hours and then coming to it if i want to know what its about, ill just look at the notification preview
Future tombstones will have a digital screen displaying texts stored by the departed (in a cloud obviously)released daily , listing secrets that can now be told, plus monthly details of hidden bank accounts and security codes for first come first served. Observers nearby will become emotional at how so many regular mourners are united in their grief.
I'll definitely write up texts and forget to send sometimes. Usually for one of three reasons: 1. I wrote it up at an odd hour and don't want you to get a notification in the middle of the night. So I drafted it and forgot to send it at a decent time of day 2. I spent a lot of time wordsmithing a text to make sure I'm getting my thoughts across appropriately and make sure it can't be taken the wrong way. Didn't finish and then forgot to go back to it 3. I wrote up the text but didn't want to send immediately and give the false impression that I was available to text back and forth immediately at the moment. In case there was follow up, I don't want them to think I was putting them off because of THAT text, but because I'm busy in general. You know... real anxious overthinking type shit. But then I forgot to send later so they think I hate them
Dunno what kind of phone you gave, but mine lets me schedule messages! If I have a thought way too late to be sending a text, I'll schedule it to send the next morning at a reasonable time 😅
Neurodivergent here, i can confirm that writing a full réponse, erasing it, rewiring it 3 times and then giving up believing I'll do it later only to forget about it is a weekly happenstance. People who answer completely besides the question or to only one of several questions are a whole different beast, though... And God are these annoying
I write whole responses and then realize it's like a really weird time to text someone so then it sits in drafts instead of actually sending until it's too late to reasonably respond
Text, e-mail (work), e-mail (personal), Slack, Asana, social media, voicemail...AAAAAGH! Is it any wonder some messages go unread and unresponded? We have more tools to send messages but less communication.
So I have lost count how many times I have started a text, got distracted, and never actually sent it. But because I started the text I think I sent it. I've even typed the entire message but forgot to hit send many many times. Having ADHD is a pain. I've done the same thing with comments on youtube, tweets, Facebook posts, tiktok replies etc.
Yep. I have ADHD, chronic daily migraine, and chronic fatigue syndrome - it happens to me all the time! Do you also sometimes deliberately not look at texts because you know you do not have the mental headspace needed to reply, and it somehow feels less rude to not answer if you haven't actually seen the text?
I was coming to the comment section to say this 😭 the amount of times I've gotten a text from someone like hey,, following up, And I realize I had my reply partially typed out and just never finished and hit send... Oof
I don't have ADHD, but the number of times I've started a text reply, an email, a meeting invite and didn't get to click send... yeah, some times we just can't. Though I apologize when I realize I didn't send it. 🤷🏾♀️
@amandabaker4678 yep. I also remark emails as unread if I don't have time to reply to them. I also suffer from chronic migraines. I've had one all week. Luckily, it hasn't been light-sensitive other than on Thursday. So, for the most part, I have been able to push through and still go to work. Mine are hormonal migraines, so I only have to deal with them monthly. Sometimes I get lucky, and I only get the one day that month. Then there are times like this month where it has been an entire week.
The brilliance of this is that she never asked where her tweezers were over that time including when she was right in front of her and instead asked that she resond to her text.
Torn between sharing this with everyone I know because its funny and, option b, not sharing this with my friends because they'll all say I'm the bad texter. I'm just not in the right headspace to make that decision right now.
That's already how graves kind of work. Unless you want to let them fall into complete disarray, you have to put either effort or money in to keep them nice and visible.
I just gave up texting from my phone altogether, and I'm loving it. Any mode of communication that I can't use from my computer with its full keyboard is antiquated.
And that's why I've never sent or received a text ever. The whole talk-talk-hear-hear thing still functions and you can understand mouth noise better than illittype.
As a bad texter myself I can attest that this is 100% accurate. 😂 Btw if anyone is wondering I dont apologize for being a bad texter and have NO plans to improve. Have a great day, I'll respond to your text, next month.... Maybe......probably not though.
I'm a bad texter too. I have friends who will send giant paragraphs, to which I then have to come up with more giant paragraphs in response, then two minutes later I get more long ass paragraphs and after a while two hours of my life have been spent begrudgingly texting what could have been a five minute phone call. The point is, it isn't just ONE text, it's a possibility of hours wasted. Or I could just be like, "Cool, can't talk now bye," but that would probably become my go-to.
@nothinglikeburntvag If you’re a bad texter, then use another form of communication. If you don’t want to text a paragraph as a reply, then call or say this looks like this needs to be an in person chat, let’s meet up. Texting is just one way of communicating, there are other ways. Saying you’re a bad texter, just feels like a cop out for not wanting to communicate at all.
@@MR-backup It's not the "unilateral" part that's the problem, it's the "now" part. Texting is asynchronous. If you send someone a text message, you should assume they may be living their life and not looking at their phone constantly, so it may be hours before they see your message.
Exactly. I am not available to other people 24/7. Not even 3/4 actually. That is why I prefer texting to phone calls. I'll get back to your text when I get back to it. 😆
Ouch! I could laugh and cry at the same time. Because of a few chronic illnesses sometimes I can barely function day to day. The unread messages add so much stress to it! I truly don’t always have the mental and emotional capacity to communicate even by text. I’d like to have an « out of office » reply for all written communication, or to block incoming messages at chosen times. Why does the fact that another person choses to write me, obliges me to be available to respond? Like - anyone now can add a task on others to do list without permission, just by writing them and waiting a response. Of course I’m not against it all, in general, and I don’t like to be on the other end of the situation - waiting eternally for an answer. But I find it very hard that immediate response is expected almost 24/7. Offline time is so good!
Exactly! We need an automated response like: "I am sorry I didn't respond to your text but it took every bit of energy I had today just to feed my cat and get myself some water. I will attempt to get back to you as soon as looking at the light from a screen doesn't make me feel like there's a 10in long needle being stabbed through my brain"!
Surly not right away, but I don’t understand how texting a friend back can be a point on a to-do list . Cause you can literally say, oh i‘ll let you know, or sorry i‘m busy I‘ll text you later. I try to not make my friends who are bad Texters feel bad about it, but it does actually make you feel like the other person doesn’t care about you all that much
@@gretehomann7556That's the key point - it doesn't seem that hard - *TO YOU* - that does not mean it isn't very difficult for someone else. For myself - honestly? No, I can't always just send off a quick text, I very often do not have the physical or mental energy needed to do so. I was going to try to explain it more, but writing this has used up my energy reserve and I need to stop and rest now. If you have not heard of Spoon Theory, I suggest you look it up - it might help you understand a bit.
Most "bad" texters are actually people who aren't glued to their phones 24/7 and I'd say those are the only sane people left in this world.... She should really have spent 3/4 of the episode looking for her phone because it just isn't that important to her.
I LEGIT sometimes DO write responses and before I hit send get distracted by another text, call or IRL person asking for something. So yes Julie - that IS (sometimes) a “thing.” 🤣
LOL The whole hands portion of the sketch reminded me of Chris O'Dowd in IT Crowd. "I'm disabled!" "How are you disabled?" "I'm . . . leg disabled!" 😂😂
My friend, and I still say this to each other, because I am indeed 'leg disabled' we get funny, looks from people who think she's being mean to me, which makes it even better!! Comedy gold.🤣♿
I'm Gen-X, and when it comes to online communication, my brain is pretty much still in the AIM era. We'd leave messages for our friends, online, offline, whatever, didn't matter... they'd get to it when they got to it. These days I'll send something to a Gen-Zer or Alpha kid and a few hours later they'll be like, "OMG I'm so sorry I didn't reply, umm umm [response to whatever it was I said]." And yet again I find myself telling the younglings how we used to do it back in the old days. It's fine. Life happens.
I think people just have random weird anxiety issues, like when normal people finally take 5 minutes to do a chore that they've been dreading to do for weeks. With that said, bad texters still annoy me.
Gotta just rip the band-aid off and start expressing your current experience rather than leaving someone on read. It might hurt, but “I’m having a really shitty day and I don’t have the energy for this right now. I’ll write it a better response when I get home” is vastly preferable to a standalone emoji or radio silence.
@@falseprofit9801 I'm thinking people don't want to seem weak by saying they can't handle a simple text at the current moment, but I believe there's strength in being so candid. Even "I'll get back to you next month" is better than being randomly ghosted. I'm a little selfish in "needing a reply", but they're a bit selfish not to understand the damage they could potentially be doing to our friendship. It goes both ways. I try to remain understanding, and just pretend it hasn't been 2 weeks once they finally do respond. Just as long as they don't get irritated when I make them wait a few hours because I was at work 😂
hair looks great!! this is why i need the "mark as unread" function because otherwise i will read the text and forget forever. i need that annoying red number there to remind me.
My favorite is when we're having a conversation and suddenly the other end just goes silent. Like... did you die? Are you in mortal peril? Then I see a notification saying "lol" a week later and I have to re-read what I said to know what the hell you're probably not actually laughing out loud about.
I can top this: Someone who calls you 10 times and when you ask them what they want, they tell you that they just want to talk. Their reason for calling 10 times: Something bad could have happened... If something bad had happened, do you really think I would take your call right now, no matter how many times you call me, Karen????
I swear to god, this is my pet peeve 😡 Phones are a 5th limb and have been for a while, and yet people just…don’t respond to things that need responding to AND make excuses for not responding? Look, I’m reasonable. I don’t expect a reply that fast. But when 24 hours go by and nothing in what was clearly a conversation? The excuses never fail to astound me.
@@ClementineDaydream It’s literally seeing everyone on their phones CONSTANTLY and make these excuses. They MADE themselves available and yet make excuses to not respond. That’s the issue.
@@ClementineDaydream Can’t really sense that over a text now can you…especially if you don’t respond. Orrrr…just respond to that text, or return that call. It’s not hard. Like I said, I’m reasonable. But seeing people on their phones near 24/7 and then claim “I’m such a bad texter” is ridiculous.
I think what I value more than speed is predictability. If I understand someone's schedule, or if we've got a particular pattern going, going a few days without hearing from someone isn't that big a deal. If their texting behavior suddenly changes and I don't know when they'll text me back, that irks me.
The roommate was out of line but she wasn't completely wrong. Sometimes you get a text and you're just not ready for it. Gotta throw on the gloves and shadowbox in the mirror for a bit to get in the right headspace, THEN you can respond. The "k" response is egregious though and should be punishable by exile.
I'm different type of bad texter. I struggle to send text to someone when I'm the one who needs to ask or say something. I can mull over it at least a week.
Lmao. I work like 4 jobs and often get distracted by something and eithee dont finish writing a text or dont press send 😂😂. I remember eventually. It takes me a second though 😅
Who would pass up a free tombstone? You can write whatever you want. Why would you let your family write "beloved wife and mother" when you could have "DAUGHTER OF THE FURIES" instead?
Having had this same conversation with my friends multiple times this perfectly sums up the agony. I say bad texters should discard their phones and start sending Ravens instead
Haha I am so guilty of writing long-ass paragraphs, then rethinking on whether I hit the right tone and never press send. At some point, the app gets closed, the message removed and I've completely forgotten I was to answer.
I get it, and I try to reply to all texts before I go to sleep. But I also know the anxiety that comes from replying because you’re “not in the right headspace”. There’s something about coming up with a good reply and engaging with that person’s energy that seems intimidating, especially if you or someone you text judge you/your text. I think it depends on who you’re texting, and whether you guys have a good relationship irl, which I find often translates to text.
I do this thing where I get a text, spend a day not reading it beacuase I'm anxious as to what it will say, formulate a reply based on a text I haven't read in my head. Then read the text, have to spend another day thinking about what to say, convince myself I sent it, even though I haven't written anything. Realise a week later, but by then, it's too late. But whatever you do, do not call me. I will watch that sucker ring but never answer because it's you calling to tell me you're mad at me.
@@MR-backupIf I reply to the text, it stops being unread, and I’ll never remember to come back to it with a real answer later. Do you know how to make texts show as unread again after you open them? I can do that with Outlook emails, but not with an iPhone. Im serious, it there’s a trick, please share, and I will absolutely use it.
@@elisabethbauman6190 If I reply to the text, it stops being unread, and I’ll never remember to come back to it with a real answer later. - If you replied something, and the other side doesn't text back latter on asking about it again, then it was probably not that important. Do you know how to make texts show as unread again after you open them? - It all depends on your phone, and the Text Messenger app you use for that phone. Some have a feature to mark Unread and others don't, it all depends on your choice. I can do that with Outlook emails, but not with an iPhone. - I know nothing about iPhones. Im serious, it there’s a trick, please share, and I will absolutely use it. - With my ANDROID, AFTER I've replied saying I'll get back to any contact later on about their text (because of "headspace" or w/e reason), and using a SMS app that doesn't let me mark Unread; I just type the first word of my potential future reply into my reply for that contact, and then exit that contacts text message reply box. So that when I see that specific SMS app's Phone Contacts Message Tree(box), i.e. the "all mail box", it puts that Contact's ALWAYS message at the very top of the Tree with a Red colored DRAFT text on it. Forcing me to either have a draft message above all other Texts permanently, or reply to it.
Yup, this confirms Julie is fully aware of her upcoming parental conversations. Everything about this reminded me of my conversations with a certain 3-year old.
My toxic trait hahaha. But I grew up with parents who always said "the phone is an invitation, not a demand" and even into the smartphone era, it's stuck with me. Just because someone wants you to talk RIGHT NOW doesn't mean you have to. Texting is no different than any other kind of conversation, phone call or in-person. It's perfectly acceptable to not have the time to engage. Of course, if it's an emergency for my friends, I'll definitely drop everything and be there! Or if it's something like, "Can you grab milk on the way home?", yeah, I'll respond. But if you're talking about tombstones because you're bored and looking for a distraction and I'm trying to prep for a meeting, yeah, I'm clearing that notification and leaving you on "read" until I have time to get into a whole ass silly conversation, and that might not be until the next day. 😂
Why should you be obligated to reply to people immediately and be available 24/7? I'm happy if I even have the energy to get all my work emails done throughout the week 😭 The phones are rather becoming a burden for me at this point. Bad texter and gonna stay that way for the sake of keeping my sanity
This reminded me of so many conversations with my kids (5 & 8). Obviously not specifically about texting but same vibe. " I can't pick up my toys, my legs are too tired" *runs around the room*😂
My ADHD relates very much to not wanting to text back because it's so sudden and I need to mentally prepare to open the notification and be ready to think and reply. ^^
I FEEL ATTACKED! I have literally written entire messages in various apps and forgot to hit send. Or more often, I've fallen asleep before I hit send. 🤣
I have had many people text days or even a week later, tell me that they had texted earlier, but just didn't hit send. But, in fairness...and I'm going to call them out, I have T-Mobile, often I reply it sits and thinks for a while, and then the text doesn't go through. I'll attempt to reply a couple times, give up, and decide to try again later when the service feels like working. I'm an unintentional bad texter.
Bad texter here. Most of the time it's because I'm in the middle of doing something when the text comes through. I read it and am like "I just can't deal with this right now" Then later I forget to reply.
My partner is like this and it bothers me so muuuuuuuch. Cuz they're legit on their phone all the time, always have it by them when gaming or doing anything. But never have notification sounds on, so the notifications all pile up at the top of the screen and mine get lost after a few minutes, and apparently they never just look through notifications except for certain sites? So it's not even that I'm being left on read, it's that they never even bother to check, or if they miss the first notification, just never check any message notifications, but still USE messaging to message others, wherein you can clearly SEE that you have new messages, and very easy to check, but no. Not worth that. So if I ever text like 'hey do you want anything? I'm getting this' and just get ignored, I don't bother trying harder to followup, cuz I already know there's no point. Discussions about it never go anywhere, they'll promise to turn on notifications or check more frequently, but by week's end, even day's end, it's back to the same old same old. And yet when THEY message me, I'm expected to answer right away or else be prepared to have a whole story as an excuse as to why I wasn't by my phone at the time. Personally, the only time I EVER leave someone on read, is to let them KNOW they're being left on read, cuz I am upset at them. And even then, still very infrequently. Maybe once or twice a year.
Same here, but even worse. We could be texting back and forth for three straight hours, and I could pause 20 seconds and send her a text of a tornado coming towards me with, "What should I do? I don't have a basement!" and she'll respond to that last text... never.
If you think about it, it's actually pretty self centered to expect someone to drop whatever they are doing and send you a text just because you decided to pick that moment to send a message. Especially if it's likely to lead to a whole conversation which could have been finished face-to-face in about 2 minutes, but via text takes a good half hour.
I write replies and don't press send, because I'm so scared of judgement and I need to make the response good enough to be perfect so I don't get criticized.
Thanks to the way the description says 'If you leave me on "read"' I finally understand what that means :facepalm:. I've always assumed people were saying "unread". Feeling really old and dumb (yet finally enlightened) right now lol.
I have 70 year old neighbors who I text to stop by right away if they want a piece of warm apple tart straight from the oven. They ring the doorbell three days later at 10 am on a Monday morning during work and cheerfully announce, “We’re here for the tart, Can’t wait!” Like texts exist outside of space and time.
bahahahah the invite had an expiration
@@julienolke No, once you send a text all of reality turns into one of those freezeframe camera pan shots. Try it next time. You’ll see.
At 70 things tend to slow down, now that you might have figured out the algorithm try sending the text 3 days earlier, rinse & repeat.
@@robindhood9125 Guaranteed they will break the algorithm at that moment, show up on your doorstep in 5 min, and proceed to instruct you on how to make a "proper" tart!🤣
The good ones do
"Sorry I took six months to reply, I'm only on my phone 23 hours a day." - me (definitely a bad texter)
If the text arrives during that 1 hour of downtime... 🤷♂️
"Im good"
Is a perfect headstone phrase.
Thought the same
Mine is,
“I came to wreck everything and ruin your life.
God sent me.”
Or, "I'll just walk it off."
Mine: Naw, it’ll be fine.
I guess it beats "I'm bad".
I don't appreciate being called out like this.
It's for your own good.
Maybe see if you have any other ADHD symptoms?
maybe reply to that message thats waiting for you LOL
Ι feel so called out right now too 🤣
But for me it goes like this: a notification comes while I'm multitasking and I'll check it automatically, but it will only half-register if at all, and I'll go back to the other 10 things I was doing at once. This will clear the notification and it will cause the text to appear as "read", so I'll completely miss it being there and needing a reply.
I know I have ADHD traits/mild executive dysfunction, so it could be it, or it could be just a modern technology-information overload thing?
@@elliest55 see, i solve this by not looking until i have time. i think people hate it even MORE if you "read" the message and dont say anything. they would be more ok with you not "reading" it for a few hours and then coming to it
if i want to know what its about, ill just look at the notification preview
Future tombstones will have a digital screen displaying texts stored by the departed (in a cloud obviously)released daily , listing secrets that can now be told, plus monthly details of hidden bank accounts and security codes for first come first served. Observers nearby will become emotional at how so many regular mourners are united in their grief.
this is a well thought out comment :P
QR code to their wikipedia entry :)
And you’ll have to pay extra to have your tombstone ads-free. Otherwise, it will regularly flash local bad ads.
🤣 Oh my goodness, I literally laughed so hard at this. Brilliant idea! Can't wait for humanity to implement this.
@@julienolke ❤️
Replying to a giant paragraph with "k" opens the possibility to claim justifiable homicide in several states. 😂
this 👆
😂
@@julienolke I'm going to start replying to texts with "this 👆".
Depends upon the paragraph, I mean I have seen some pretty pointless paragraphs.
@@erikmckoul2478 Valid statement. 💯
I'll definitely write up texts and forget to send sometimes. Usually for one of three reasons:
1. I wrote it up at an odd hour and don't want you to get a notification in the middle of the night. So I drafted it and forgot to send it at a decent time of day
2. I spent a lot of time wordsmithing a text to make sure I'm getting my thoughts across appropriately and make sure it can't be taken the wrong way. Didn't finish and then forgot to go back to it
3. I wrote up the text but didn't want to send immediately and give the false impression that I was available to text back and forth immediately at the moment. In case there was follow up, I don't want them to think I was putting them off because of THAT text, but because I'm busy in general. You know... real anxious overthinking type shit. But then I forgot to send later so they think I hate them
Dunno what kind of phone you gave, but mine lets me schedule messages! If I have a thought way too late to be sending a text, I'll schedule it to send the next morning at a reasonable time 😅
@@brookeworley5140That's ingenious 😱
This confirms my suspicion that bad texters are overthinkers.
SAME
I wish that iPhones let you schedule messages 😢 because I never want to text at normal times
Neurodivergent here, i can confirm that writing a full réponse, erasing it, rewiring it 3 times and then giving up believing I'll do it later only to forget about it is a weekly happenstance.
People who answer completely besides the question or to only one of several questions are a whole different beast, though... And God are these annoying
Same!
As an ADHD sufferer, I can confirm we do the same .
I have autism, and I was also thinking that texting is exhausting, so I could relate.
huge congrats for working-in that "happenstance"; nicely played. -C
I write whole responses and then realize it's like a really weird time to text someone so then it sits in drafts instead of actually sending until it's too late to reasonably respond
Text, e-mail (work), e-mail (personal), Slack, Asana, social media, voicemail...AAAAAGH! Is it any wonder some messages go unread and unresponded? We have more tools to send messages but less communication.
Thank you!!! It is alert fatigue at its finest.
So I have lost count how many times I have started a text, got distracted, and never actually sent it. But because I started the text I think I sent it. I've even typed the entire message but forgot to hit send many many times. Having ADHD is a pain. I've done the same thing with comments on youtube, tweets, Facebook posts, tiktok replies etc.
Yep. I have ADHD, chronic daily migraine, and chronic fatigue syndrome - it happens to me all the time!
Do you also sometimes deliberately not look at texts because you know you do not have the mental headspace needed to reply, and it somehow feels less rude to not answer if you haven't actually seen the text?
Congratulations then, on completing - and posting - this comment!
I was coming to the comment section to say this 😭 the amount of times I've gotten a text from someone like hey,, following up,
And I realize I had my reply partially typed out and just never finished and hit send... Oof
I don't have ADHD, but the number of times I've started a text reply, an email, a meeting invite and didn't get to click send... yeah, some times we just can't. Though I apologize when I realize I didn't send it. 🤷🏾♀️
@amandabaker4678 yep. I also remark emails as unread if I don't have time to reply to them. I also suffer from chronic migraines. I've had one all week. Luckily, it hasn't been light-sensitive other than on Thursday. So, for the most part, I have been able to push through and still go to work. Mine are hormonal migraines, so I only have to deal with them monthly. Sometimes I get lucky, and I only get the one day that month. Then there are times like this month where it has been an entire week.
The brilliance of this is that she never asked where her tweezers were over that time including when she was right in front of her and instead asked that she resond to her text.
Torn between sharing this with everyone I know because its funny and, option b, not sharing this with my friends because they'll all say I'm the bad texter. I'm just not in the right headspace to make that decision right now.
Someday Tombstones will be a subscription service, only showing what you want on it as long as you keep paying.
And switching to an ad once you stop.
@@CaveSpiderRider That's YouTomb for ya.
That's already how graves kind of work. Unless you want to let them fall into complete disarray, you have to put either effort or money in to keep them nice and visible.
It's how they work in England. Once you stop paying they reuse the plot.
I just gave up texting from my phone altogether, and I'm loving it. Any mode of communication that I can't use from my computer with its full keyboard is antiquated.
And that's why I've never sent or received a text ever. The whole talk-talk-hear-hear thing still functions and you can understand mouth noise better than illittype.
Why is this so painfully accurate?
does that mean you're the bad texter or you know a bad texter...?
@@julienolke Definitely know more than one. It's the electronic equivalent of people who say, "Okay, I'll call later."
It's haaaaaard :c
is it bad to wait some time before replying to a tex... like a hour... or two?...
This was painfully reminiscent of interacting with my roommate... who, despite having a degree in Communication, is terrible at _communication._
As a bad texter myself I can attest that this is 100% accurate. 😂 Btw if anyone is wondering I dont apologize for being a bad texter and have NO plans to improve. Have a great day, I'll respond to your text, next month.... Maybe......probably not though.
Then you should stop having anyone in your life and be a recluse. Since you don’t care, then they shouldn’t care about you. Win win.
I'm a bad texter too. I have friends who will send giant paragraphs, to which I then have to come up with more giant paragraphs in response, then two minutes later I get more long ass paragraphs and after a while two hours of my life have been spent begrudgingly texting what could have been a five minute phone call. The point is, it isn't just ONE text, it's a possibility of hours wasted.
Or I could just be like, "Cool, can't talk now bye," but that would probably become my go-to.
@nothinglikeburntvag If you’re a bad texter, then use another form of communication. If you don’t want to text a paragraph as a reply, then call or say this looks like this needs to be an in person chat, let’s meet up. Texting is just one way of communicating, there are other ways. Saying you’re a bad texter, just feels like a cop out for not wanting to communicate at all.
Julie's got that I-buy-tombstones-in-bulk type of money now 😂
Whoever texted deserves it for unilaterally deciding I have to interact with someone now 😅
If you did not want to have "unilateral" communication, you shouldn't have purchased a device that does that.
@@MR-backup You've taken this super seriously, as clearly intended. Kudos to you.
@@alicevidrine4308 You've taken this super seriously, as clearly intended.
- Funny you say that about a neutral reply.
Kudos to you.
- Likewise.
@@MR-backup It's not the "unilateral" part that's the problem, it's the "now" part. Texting is asynchronous. If you send someone a text message, you should assume they may be living their life and not looking at their phone constantly, so it may be hours before they see your message.
Exactly. I am not available to other people 24/7. Not even 3/4 actually. That is why I prefer texting to phone calls. I'll get back to your text when I get back to it. 😆
I love love love your new hair!! your natural color fits you so well
I would rudely ask Julie which hair color helped to get her pregnant, but we already know the answer: blonde with brown roots.
That first "I cannnnnt" reminds me of the 6 year old I read with when she doesn't actually want to read...😂
The whole reply tantrum was that; by design, I think.
omg your hair!! gives off a completely different vibe 😍
I am this person. I know I'm a horrible human-being, I'm always thankful society tolerates me as much as it does.
Sorry I'm such a bad commenterrr
You replied to this 20 hours before she uploaded it, so you're pretty good at it! Too good! Scarily good! Time travel good!
Wtf...?
@@himwiththehair8118 You know how memberships work right?
Paid members get the videos 1 day before everyone else.
This is so accurate. Thank you for making the video. I will send it to everybody when I eventually get back to them
Love how you can see the post-it note for "Bad texters" over Julie's left shoulder. lol
Ouch! I could laugh and cry at the same time. Because of a few chronic illnesses sometimes I can barely function day to day. The unread messages add so much stress to it! I truly don’t always have the mental and emotional capacity to communicate even by text. I’d like to have an « out of office » reply for all written communication, or to block incoming messages at chosen times. Why does the fact that another person choses to write me, obliges me to be available to respond? Like - anyone now can add a task on others to do list without permission, just by writing them and waiting a response.
Of course I’m not against it all, in general, and I don’t like to be on the other end of the situation - waiting eternally for an answer. But I find it very hard that immediate response is expected almost 24/7. Offline time is so good!
Exactly! We need an automated response like: "I am sorry I didn't respond to your text but it took every bit of energy I had today just to feed my cat and get myself some water. I will attempt to get back to you as soon as looking at the light from a screen doesn't make me feel like there's a 10in long needle being stabbed through my brain"!
They really shouldn't demand responses right away all the time.
Surly not right away, but I don’t understand how texting a friend back can be a point on a to-do list . Cause you can literally say, oh i‘ll let you know, or sorry i‘m busy I‘ll text you later. I try to not make my friends who are bad Texters feel bad about it, but it does actually make you feel like the other person doesn’t care about you all that much
@@gretehomann7556That's the key point - it doesn't seem that hard - *TO YOU* - that does not mean it isn't very difficult for someone else.
For myself - honestly? No, I can't always just send off a quick text, I very often do not have the physical or mental energy needed to do so. I was going to try to explain it more, but writing this has used up my energy reserve and I need to stop and rest now.
If you have not heard of Spoon Theory, I suggest you look it up - it might help you understand a bit.
I KNOW, RIGHT?!
100% with you on this.
Girl I used to like literally said all this exactly. And then of course if I didnt text her back immediately it was "DO YOU EVEN LIKE ME"
these are so well done, that i completely forget that it’s one person acting out both sides a completely different times. nicely done
Most "bad" texters are actually people who aren't glued to their phones 24/7 and I'd say those are the only sane people left in this world.... She should really have spent 3/4 of the episode looking for her phone because it just isn't that important to her.
Maybe that’s in your experience, but in mine? The opposite is true…the ones glued to it are the worst testers.
I LEGIT sometimes DO write responses and before I hit send get distracted by another text, call or IRL person asking for something. So yes Julie - that IS (sometimes) a “thing.” 🤣
LOL The whole hands portion of the sketch reminded me of Chris O'Dowd in IT Crowd. "I'm disabled!" "How are you disabled?" "I'm . . . leg disabled!" 😂😂
"where's your wheelchair?"
".... stolen? 😭"
My friend, and I still say this to each other, because I am indeed 'leg disabled' we get funny, looks from people who think she's being mean to me, which makes it even better!! Comedy gold.🤣♿
I'm Gen-X, and when it comes to online communication, my brain is pretty much still in the AIM era. We'd leave messages for our friends, online, offline, whatever, didn't matter... they'd get to it when they got to it. These days I'll send something to a Gen-Zer or Alpha kid and a few hours later they'll be like, "OMG I'm so sorry I didn't reply, umm umm [response to whatever it was I said]." And yet again I find myself telling the younglings how we used to do it back in the old days. It's fine. Life happens.
I'm a bad texter. I often don't look at my incoming texts for days. I mean, why would I? My life was fine before the text. Probably fine after. So...
That‘s just irresponsible tho lol
I think people just have random weird anxiety issues, like when normal people finally take 5 minutes to do a chore that they've been dreading to do for weeks. With that said, bad texters still annoy me.
Gotta just rip the band-aid off and start expressing your current experience rather than leaving someone on read. It might hurt, but “I’m having a really shitty day and I don’t have the energy for this right now. I’ll write it a better response when I get home” is vastly preferable to a standalone emoji or radio silence.
They cause relationship injury to the everyday people who want to communicate with them.
@@falseprofit9801 I'm thinking people don't want to seem weak by saying they can't handle a simple text at the current moment, but I believe there's strength in being so candid. Even "I'll get back to you next month" is better than being randomly ghosted. I'm a little selfish in "needing a reply", but they're a bit selfish not to understand the damage they could potentially be doing to our friendship. It goes both ways. I try to remain understanding, and just pretend it hasn't been 2 weeks once they finally do respond. Just as long as they don't get irritated when I make them wait a few hours because I was at work 😂
It’s called demand avoidance
I'm one and I annoy myself
hair looks great!! this is why i need the "mark as unread" function because otherwise i will read the text and forget forever. i need that annoying red number there to remind me.
Julie is on a mission to see if redheads, blondes, or brunettes have more fun.
redheads
@@solvseus Gotta admit: After watching the vid, brunettes look rather tempting to me right now :)
@@dayegilharno4988 : I would rudely ask Julie which hair color helped to get her pregnant, but we already know the answer-- blonde with brown roots.
@JimAllen-Persona : Bro, you just totally killed the mood!
@@eaterdrinker000 That's because she stopped coloring her hair once she realized she was pregnant. Toxic chemicals and all that.
My favorite is when we're having a conversation and suddenly the other end just goes silent. Like... did you die? Are you in mortal peril? Then I see a notification saying "lol" a week later and I have to re-read what I said to know what the hell you're probably not actually laughing out loud about.
I can top this: Someone who calls you 10 times and when you ask them what they want, they tell you that they just want to talk. Their reason for calling 10 times: Something bad could have happened... If something bad had happened, do you really think I would take your call right now, no matter how many times you call me, Karen????
lol “I’m just not in the right headspace” I totally feel this
I swear to god, this is my pet peeve 😡
Phones are a 5th limb and have been for a while, and yet people just…don’t respond to things that need responding to AND make excuses for not responding?
Look, I’m reasonable. I don’t expect a reply that fast. But when 24 hours go by and nothing in what was clearly a conversation?
The excuses never fail to astound me.
Why do we need to be available so much though? Just because it’s been around for a while now doesn’t change that it’s a bit unnatural.
@@ClementineDaydream It’s literally seeing everyone on their phones CONSTANTLY and make these excuses. They MADE themselves available and yet make excuses to not respond. That’s the issue.
@@jenniferhiemstra5228 I donno maybe those people can sense your hostile irritability and can't be bothered
@@ClementineDaydream Can’t really sense that over a text now can you…especially if you don’t respond.
Orrrr…just respond to that text, or return that call. It’s not hard. Like I said, I’m reasonable. But seeing people on their phones near 24/7 and then claim “I’m such a bad texter” is ridiculous.
I think what I value more than speed is predictability. If I understand someone's schedule, or if we've got a particular pattern going, going a few days without hearing from someone isn't that big a deal. If their texting behavior suddenly changes and I don't know when they'll text me back, that irks me.
The roommate was out of line but she wasn't completely wrong. Sometimes you get a text and you're just not ready for it. Gotta throw on the gloves and shadowbox in the mirror for a bit to get in the right headspace, THEN you can respond. The "k" response is egregious though and should be punishable by exile.
Hysterical. Absolutely hysterical. And love your hair.
thanks!
😂 My daughter gave me that exact excuse for not responding to my last text. “Oh, I left my response in the text box without sending.”
As someone who has done this multiple times - I can assure you it is a real thing that happens.
That might not be an excuse. I do that ALL. THE. TIME.
I'm different type of bad texter. I struggle to send text to someone when I'm the one who needs to ask or say something. I can mull over it at least a week.
Lmao. I work like 4 jobs and often get distracted by something and eithee dont finish writing a text or dont press send 😂😂. I remember eventually. It takes me a second though 😅
the editing is so smooth. feels like it's actually two people having a conversation
Who would pass up a free tombstone? You can write whatever you want. Why would you let your family write "beloved wife and mother" when you could have "DAUGHTER OF THE FURIES" instead?
It would make a bombass Halloween decoration.
It’s just not natural for someone to require your attention whenever they feel like it. We had caller ID back in the day for a reason.
Having had this same conversation with my friends multiple times this perfectly sums up the agony. I say bad texters should discard their phones and start sending Ravens instead
I would prefer that. Then people can't immediately respond and make it hard to reply to everyone else I need to respond to 😂😂😂
iRaven about to pop off
Haha I am so guilty of writing long-ass paragraphs, then rethinking on whether I hit the right tone and never press send. At some point, the app gets closed, the message removed and I've completely forgotten I was to answer.
>Prepares the scroll to respond
>a giant K. in cursive
>job's done
@@StuermischeTage lmao yep. Same. It all depends on the moment I'm in 🤣🤣
I love Julie's recurring slide entry into the room. So fun!
I’m loving your brown hair! You can rock both blonde and brown, but this is giving very strong, princess diaries, and I’m a fan ❤
I get it, and I try to reply to all texts before I go to sleep. But I also know the anxiety that comes from replying because you’re “not in the right headspace”. There’s something about coming up with a good reply and engaging with that person’s energy that seems intimidating, especially if you or someone you text judge you/your text. I think it depends on who you’re texting, and whether you guys have a good relationship irl, which I find often translates to text.
I do this thing where I get a text, spend a day not reading it beacuase I'm anxious as to what it will say, formulate a reply based on a text I haven't read in my head. Then read the text, have to spend another day thinking about what to say, convince myself I sent it, even though I haven't written anything. Realise a week later, but by then, it's too late. But whatever you do, do not call me. I will watch that sucker ring but never answer because it's you calling to tell me you're mad at me.
"I'm not in the right headspace" is what I say when people ask me why I don't answer the phone or respond to email or ....
No problem, just reply that, and we can all move on.
;)
YES! Why is not being in the right headspace not a legitimate and well-recognized reason for not texting back promptly? Why?
@@elisabethbauman6190Because you didn't text it!
@@MR-backupIf I reply to the text, it stops being unread, and I’ll never remember to come back to it with a real answer later. Do you know how to make texts show as unread again after you open them? I can do that with Outlook emails, but not with an iPhone. Im serious, it there’s a trick, please share, and I will absolutely use it.
@@elisabethbauman6190 If I reply to the text, it stops being unread, and I’ll never remember to come back to it with a real answer later.
- If you replied something, and the other side doesn't text back latter on asking about it again, then it was probably not that important.
Do you know how to make texts show as unread again after you open them?
- It all depends on your phone, and the Text Messenger app you use for that phone. Some have a feature to mark Unread and others don't, it all depends on your choice.
I can do that with Outlook emails, but not with an iPhone.
- I know nothing about iPhones.
Im serious, it there’s a trick, please share, and I will absolutely use it.
- With my ANDROID, AFTER I've replied saying I'll get back to any contact later on about their text (because of "headspace" or w/e reason), and using a SMS app that doesn't let me mark Unread; I just type the first word of my potential future reply into my reply for that contact, and then exit that contacts text message reply box. So that when I see that specific SMS app's Phone Contacts Message Tree(box), i.e. the "all mail box", it puts that Contact's ALWAYS message at the very top of the Tree with a Red colored DRAFT text on it.
Forcing me to either have a draft message above all other Texts permanently, or reply to it.
I have the opposite problem. I have someone who sends me a dozen texts in a row to reply to me "Okay" to something else. It's a nightmare.
I absolutely hate it when people do that.
"You see, I saw your text and was all like 'ooh, I'll respond to that right after I finish this one thing' and THEN
I didn't"
“I’m not in the right headspace.” I can so relate. 😂
Sorry, this is accurate, texting is painful for some of us some of the time, it’s an incurable condition, we can’t help it, have mercy on us. 💜
Yup, this confirms Julie is fully aware of her upcoming parental conversations. Everything about this reminded me of my conversations with a certain 3-year old.
Which is what "bad texters" are on a communication level:
3 year olds.
"Explaining The Pandemic To My Eye Rolling Teenager".
As a "bad texter" I often reply to messages in my head and then realise weeks/months later that I never actually replied.
As a "good texter" I've done this too, but not HABITUALLY!
Replying in my head is such a thing lol
My toxic trait hahaha. But I grew up with parents who always said "the phone is an invitation, not a demand" and even into the smartphone era, it's stuck with me. Just because someone wants you to talk RIGHT NOW doesn't mean you have to. Texting is no different than any other kind of conversation, phone call or in-person. It's perfectly acceptable to not have the time to engage. Of course, if it's an emergency for my friends, I'll definitely drop everything and be there! Or if it's something like, "Can you grab milk on the way home?", yeah, I'll respond. But if you're talking about tombstones because you're bored and looking for a distraction and I'm trying to prep for a meeting, yeah, I'm clearing that notification and leaving you on "read" until I have time to get into a whole ass silly conversation, and that might not be until the next day. 😂
Why should you be obligated to reply to people immediately and be available 24/7? I'm happy if I even have the energy to get all my work emails done throughout the week 😭 The phones are rather becoming a burden for me at this point. Bad texter and gonna stay that way for the sake of keeping my sanity
"Bad texter" Julie is majorly channeling Edina (Jennifer Saunders) from _Absolutely Fabulous_ here.
Good texters are just jealous of the raw confidence that comes with choosing to get back to people when they feel like it
Fr 😂
This reminded me of so many conversations with my kids (5 & 8). Obviously not specifically about texting but same vibe. " I can't pick up my toys, my legs are too tired" *runs around the room*😂
My ADHD relates very much to not wanting to text back because it's so sudden and I need to mentally prepare to open the notification and be ready to think and reply. ^^
I FEEL ATTACKED! I have literally written entire messages in various apps and forgot to hit send. Or more often, I've fallen asleep before I hit send. 🤣
Yes I have been known to come back hours later or the next day and see the text I keyed in, still there, unsent.
I feel so called out for this right now!!! I do actually type out a reply and never hit send. I’m sure people never believe me though haha
Gotta love the people who answer questions via text with yes/no... when the QUESTION IS NOT A YES OR NO ANSWER!! 😤😤
Pet Peeve No. 4,853
My husband all the bleep time!! Lol
And all the people who respond to a yes/no question with 300 words of irrelevant tangents that add up to maybe.
Oh my god! This is literally entire conversations I have with my kids! It's uncanny the similarity.
Which way does it go ?
I have had many people text days or even a week later, tell me that they had texted earlier, but just didn't hit send. But, in fairness...and I'm going to call them out, I have T-Mobile, often I reply it sits and thinks for a while, and then the text doesn't go through. I'll attempt to reply a couple times, give up, and decide to try again later when the service feels like working. I'm an unintentional bad texter.
Your hair looks amazing!
This whole sketch is weirdly specific! 😆
Bad texter here. Most of the time it's because I'm in the middle of doing something when the text comes through. I read it and am like "I just can't deal with this right now" Then later I forget to reply.
One time someone didn't reply to my text for a week and I thought I had gravely disturbed them and basically wrote off their existence.
Was that a Run the Burbs t-shirt?! I love it!
Oh my, I love the hair colour! Looks WAY better than blonde. Looking good Julie!
My partner is like this and it bothers me so muuuuuuuch. Cuz they're legit on their phone all the time, always have it by them when gaming or doing anything. But never have notification sounds on, so the notifications all pile up at the top of the screen and mine get lost after a few minutes, and apparently they never just look through notifications except for certain sites? So it's not even that I'm being left on read, it's that they never even bother to check, or if they miss the first notification, just never check any message notifications, but still USE messaging to message others, wherein you can clearly SEE that you have new messages, and very easy to check, but no. Not worth that.
So if I ever text like 'hey do you want anything? I'm getting this' and just get ignored, I don't bother trying harder to followup, cuz I already know there's no point. Discussions about it never go anywhere, they'll promise to turn on notifications or check more frequently, but by week's end, even day's end, it's back to the same old same old. And yet when THEY message me, I'm expected to answer right away or else be prepared to have a whole story as an excuse as to why I wasn't by my phone at the time.
Personally, the only time I EVER leave someone on read, is to let them KNOW they're being left on read, cuz I am upset at them. And even then, still very infrequently. Maybe once or twice a year.
Love the hair Julie and the video!
100% need to be in the right headspace and have many times forgotten to press send.
This is basically one of my best friends. Lovely human in person but every text sent to them incurs a mandatory 2-day waiting period for a reply.
Same here, but even worse. We could be texting back and forth for three straight hours, and I could pause 20 seconds and send her a text of a tornado coming towards me with, "What should I do? I don't have a basement!" and she'll respond to that last text... never.
This is one of the best episodes!
If you think about it, it's actually pretty self centered to expect someone to drop whatever they are doing and send you a text just because you decided to pick that moment to send a message.
Especially if it's likely to lead to a whole conversation which could have been finished face-to-face in about 2 minutes, but via text takes a good half hour.
I so want bad-texter Julie to do a parody of Gloria's monologue from Barbie.
Not being in the right headspace is a valid reason not to reply. I will die on this hill 😂 ⛰️
"i'm so baaaaaa"
this may be the best excuse for anything ever
The dark hair looks great!
"I'm just not in the right head space" that's so me lmbo
And i have typed a message and forgotten to press send lol
Please don't tell my family and friends that "Bad Texter' isn't really a disorder!
Thanks Julies, helps a lot.
"forgot to press send"
yep, guilty of that one
ADHD: the sketch
Yes! 😂
"i wasn't expecting it so, was caught off guard"
"do you not know how texting works? you're not meant to know what's coming"
You are Extremely Talented
thanks
@@julienolke your welcome
Doorway-Julie is exposing my ADHD+anxiety feels. I have been seen!
Julie makes every hair color work.
I write replies and don't press send, because I'm so scared of judgement and I need to make the response good enough to be perfect so I don't get criticized.
I prefer words in public. You know,,actual talking to people.
Thanks to the way the description says 'If you leave me on "read"' I finally understand what that means :facepalm:. I've always assumed people were saying "unread". Feeling really old and dumb (yet finally enlightened) right now lol.