I'm a woman and I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was 16, but am STILL waiting for an ADHD diagnosis at age 40. I only realised it myself a few years ago when I discovered that there's an introverted type, not just a hyperactive type. Suddenly my brain made sense! And now the doctors are like "well you weren't diagnosed as a kid or in the past 20+ years of interacting with mental health professionals, so you can't POSSIBLY have ADHD" and it's incredibly frustrating. It's so very hard to advocate for yourself in healthcare when your executive function barely lets you brush your teeth.
@@CasimiroBukayo yes I agree. I finished my master in computer science and don't feel for to work in that field. Now I know it's more because of the ADHD than the knowledge about IT.
@@4thllz It sounds like you are the one assuming all software engineers are male? If a male makes a comment and says us, can't he mean all software engineers, not just male ones? (speaking as a female former software engineer :) )
Absolutely. How can it not!. So it's hardly surprising that doctors miss the ADHD, especially if the person has the Predominantly Subtype of ADHD which doesn't include all of the classic restlessness, impulsivity, noisy, hyperactivity that most people assume has to be there. .
I didn’t really relate to these women in that for me, it’s more about the sadness/hopelessness of being so behind in life, having lost so much time and yet having no concept of time simultaneously, so it’s only after the fact that you realise how much time has passed. It’s sadness and exhaustion over having to try so hard just to function and still not even managing to stay on top of the day to day. It’s the sadness of not belonging because no one seems to like or understand you. I can’t relate to feeling that way and yet being so successful or achieving huge amounts. It was a huge lightbulb moment for me when I realised I likely had ADHD. So many things that I couldn’t solve with therapy suddenly made sense. Family dynamics too. And then I waited years for my assessment to be met with an assessor who diminished my experience, didn’t want to diagnose me, and ultimately expected me to present like a classic 8 year old boy. So now I’m in the limbo of not even knowing if that is still the answer, even though it’s made everything fall into place.
That is frustrating. So many doctors don't know how to diagnose. They can easily overlook the many people who have the Predominantly Inattentive Subtype. That variant does not include the classic hyper-activity, restleness, and impulsivity that, as you say, is associated with a disruptive 8 year old boy. To get out of limbo, perhaps, since everything fell into place, you might simply assume you have it and act accordingly, taking on ADHD-Friendly strategies and seeing if they make a difference. .
Girl, you sound way to smart to let some idiot doctor keep you from a diagnosis. Congrats, you diagnosed yourself and its valid. If you needs meds, see another doctor
@@RickHasADHD Thank you for taking the time to respond. And you’re definitely right, it would just be nice to know that there is support/allowances in place through my employer, for example, when I’m struggling with tasks, but they are only available with a formal diagnosis. But thank you for the work you do and how you do it. I watch your videos thinking that you’re such a gift - your sensitivity and sense of humour. Excellent. 🙏 👏
I have what some call the “classic triad” of neurodivergence: ADHD, Anxiety/Depression and Asperger’s. I can be an Olympic level overthinker, which triggers anxiety, overload and exhaustion. No matter how well I might be doing I always feel like it’s not enough. Did I mention I’m also a recovering perfectionist? I had perfection beaten into me as a kid and I was never good enough. I have Synesthesia too! 🙂 I am intelligent and am starting a business, and yet I can’t get it together enough to clean my place (which I hate doing anyway, so there’s that). I either need a different life or I need a different brain!
Thank you so much for writing this. I immediately felt less alone and less shitty to be honest. This is a topic that I find hard to discuss with people but I never thought of it this way. Even knowing that I'm not just lazy or simply too dumb to have a clean household like everyone, lifts a heavy weight off my shoulders. I felt like a disgrace my whole life and the one time, where I tried to tell my mom how I go into "deepclean mode" everytime they want to visit, she didn't understand what I really wanted to say. She thought I was talking about minor stuff like cleaning the windows and such when I was talking about the need to deepclean the bathroom as soon as possible because you haven't done that properly in a longer time and it looks shitty now and you feel ashamed and ...
@@KaosInOrder I have often thought it should be called Attention SURPLUS Disorder rather than attention deficit disorder. It’s not that I can’t pay attention. It’s that there’s so many things grabbing my attention that my brain can’t sort them out or put them into order of importance.
Thank you Rick. It seems to me that sometimes the depression could also be labelled as simple exhaustion. The one woman with two sons with challenges also sounded exhausted to me. Women with adhd tend to take on a lot of responsibilities, with the added complication of life just being more complicated. For example: when I leave the house to run an errand there are often several trips back and forth through the locked front door to gather all that is needed for a trip to the grocery store! It is hard not to be frustrated by this. Yet my brain definitely has many delightful compensations which it is better to focus on. But, the fact remains running or even co-running a household is easier when your mind is sort of “normal”.
So true. There was a time when I was constantly denied my vacation time. I was such an emotional, mental, and physical wreck, I went to a place I never want to go to again. I think my boss finally gets me now, and they make more of an effort to get coverage when I need time off. It's like when the big semi trucks let out pressure (I think from their brakes?)... I need that pressure relief so it doesn't build even more, even if it's just to catch up on things that need to be done at home.
I have so many ADHD videos in my watchlist that I want to watch, but somehow struggle to even start watching, or only get partway throught before my aattention span gives up, but for some reason I find it much easier to watch your videos, both to start watching, and to finish. Whatever your formula i, it works! Thanks for these videos, I'm glad there is something that my brain can actually respond to!
Thanks for talking about this issue, Rick! Depression is such a frequent co-morbidity for women with ADHD and presents so many issues, especially for those who are undiagnosed.
I've heard it said many times (tho I can't remember when or by whom -irony?) that Burnout stems from having disproportionately more challenges that we don't choose, than those we do choose. I've had a couple burnouts lead to depression, so... That tracks!
Story of my life. I thank my doctor who picked up on this after I got better from my depression. I’m actually off antidepressants now and getting adhd medication
I use my ADHD to get through my depression. I get out and DO something. Clean the house, rearrange the furniture, go for a walk. Anything physical. I'm autistic, ADHD, have struggled with depression and anxiety all my life. But I'm winning!!! Most days are pretty good now. Two university degrees (Economics and History). Sole parent who worked 2 or 3 jobs. Published author (15 titles so far). Btw Ayers Rock is called Uluru these days. I once had the privilege of climbing it. It is truly amazing. Thank you for your channel, Rick. ❤
I struggle to find how to tell my psychiatrist to consider adhd as the source of my anxiety and depression, so I appreciate you doing more on this topic.
I was just diagnosed with ADHD and depression. The depression seems to result from my ADHD and lack of proper management over time. For me, treating my depression lead to the ADHD diagnosis as a factor and, frankly, was so very helpful in understanding my own brand of ADHD. Making huge progress now with understanding just how long ADHD impacted me...and accepting this. I'm 61. ❤ On my tombstone, the words "FINALLY" need to be front and center. 😊
This was such a lovely, compassionate piece. The woman talking about working 60 hours a week wondering why SHE couldnt keep her house clean was so relatable, for many women, I'm sure. And society STILL puts the clean house standard on women. I imagine the male equivalent is the mowed lawn and the shiny car, but neither of those is a daily task. And I know only one man who beats himself up about the lawn still needing a mow. It isn't an evaluation of what will the neighbors think, but more his own wish that HE not be a poor reflection on THEM.
Something that contributes to the depression is the pressure to be fine all the time. Don't be upset that people were mean to you as a kid (including adults). Don't be upset that you're always losing and forgetting things. Don't be upset that you never got the support you needed. Don't be upset that you're perpetually exhausted. Don't cry because you're overwhelmed. Only babies cry. Don't be upset that people don't believe your disability is real. Don't you know? You just don't care enough. Stop complaining, don't you know that life is hard for everyone? Stop fishing for sympathy, everyone struggles with those things. You're just being lazy. Stop making excuses. Don't be upset, fix things. No one wants to hear you whine. Smile and don't be upset about everything and make everyone else happy and don't be a problem. Try harder.
I always told my therapists that I'm not depressed. but having the feeling that there is a problem with focus and being diagnosed was a different thing all together.
BTW, Rick, I LOVED the Red Green Show, and I didn't put the connection together with you until this channel led me to an interview with you ("Bill"). From my donations to PBS, I STILL have my Red Green Show camping coffee cup and my Carpe Ductum - Seize the Tape (my dad fixed everything with it, LOL) t-shirt. I will never part with this two treasures. Thank you for this channel, the info, and years of splitting my sides (fixed with duct tape) that you and the whole cast gave me.❤
Rick, I was so sad to hear your Mom said, “It’s always something with you”. Like you have to always be in the spotlight. NT people have no idea of the built-on levels of shame that we experience. I think we’re around the same age. Here’s a hug for you from a Mom who recognizes and accepts your quirks.
I was diagnosed several times beginning 30 years ago yet never took it very seriously. I just needed to try harder. Right?! Last couple of years trying to work with it, but the depression has always been present all this time off and on, regardless of being diagnosed or not. A diagnosis doesn't really change much I feel.
Dr. Muggli's experience--that could be me talking! I was never diagnosed, and only became aware of this possibility at 65, but in my 20s I began learning strategies to shut down the vicious cycle of depression before it gets out of hand (physical activity, sunshine, and more recently, improving my electromagnetic environment). Just like knowing my reaction of artificial EMR helped me to stop blaming myself for sudden anxiety attacks (there are very few doctors who will recognise or help this condition), knowing about ADHD even without a diagnosis (which I don't think I would be able to obtain in Japan--they're just not "there" yet--like gluten intolerance, it's something to be ashamed of in your child and overcome or hide by adulthood), I can start strategizing with this too, and quit blaming myself uselessly.
In retrospective, I am so happy that my daughter told me that she thinks I might have ADHD and that I should look into it. Because I actually started looking into it and the second I started doing this, I felt like coming home after a long, tiring journey. The more I read and heard about it, the more I realised what was wrong with me. When I told my therapist about it, he immediately said "I'm sorry, but in this case I am not the right therapist for you because you would need someone who is specialised in this and I am not." At that time I just had started seeing him again after a break of about a year. I went there for about 2,5 years and had the impression that he was able to help me in some ways. But there still was something that wasn't solved and I couldn't figure out what it is. So I asked if I could come again and he agreed. But after about three or four visits I noticed that the way he wanted to help me, didn't seem to fit and when I expressed this to my daughter, she told me, what I said in the beginning. This was at the start of 2024 and about five months later I was diagnosed with ADHD and there is a good chance that I'm autistic as well. I turn 50 next year and struggled for so long. Even if I tried to open up and talk to people, they didn't seem to understand and therefore couldn't help. When I told my parents about my diagnose, they were absolutely flabbergasted. Even them didn't realise what went on inside my mind, how I masked so hard that today, I don't really know who I am anymore. I always was what I thought I was supposed to be. But I am glad that I got diagnosed because that means I can do something actively now to improve my situation. It sucks to suffer from depression but no matter what you try, nothing really helps. Now I know that the depression is just a side effect, like my dyscalculia and other things. Thank you for doing these videos and helping people like me to get their life together.
I'm 64 and have been taking anti depressants since 20 and I know ADHD and CPTSD are my demons. I'm a Hermit but you are helping me face my future. Thank you
Depression becomes comorbid to undiagnosed ADHD because, there MUST be something wrong with you, and, it must be your fault. I have the inattentive presentation and wasn’t diagnosed till 43 years old because I wasn’t hyperactive… I was on a terrible antidepressant that just made me worse for 25 years. It was only stumbling across some adhd videos when I searched out my symptoms - I advocated for myself, did the long process of testing, and what do you know - it’s a girl with I-adhd. And NOW, in my mid forties, I finally understand and accept myself.
The BEST advice I can give in light of 43 years of self hate and depression - if you suspect something is wrong and your current treatment is not working, SEEK A DIAGNOSIS by a licensed professional. Intake - wait one month - test - wait a few more months, TRUST THE PROCESS, try and have patience, and you’ll get back a super extensive report that will help you understand what makes you tick and why. They’ll tell you areas of strength, where you need work, and specific therapies, and/or meds that might work best for your neurotype. Honestly, just learning more about yourself, that this is how you were born and it’sNIT YOUR FAULT - is a HUGE weight off. Be assertive. Get mad at feeling shitty and advocate for yourself!
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane Thank you for that. I appreciate the kind words and wish you well too ❤ before diagnosis it can be a really isolating existence, talking about it with other women who also have similar experiences is a comfort I find. This journey is only just begun, it’s very hard still (even knowing finally what is going on!) to actively work on myself. Ordinary life stressors, family, being the sandwich generation with sick parents, children who also struggle with mental health in this wild world we all live in… we face so many situations that are challenging and an of themselves, when you throw the ADHD on top of it with executive dysfunction and emotional liability or whatever else it’s a huge challenge at times ( Who am I kidding, it’s a huge challenge most of the time! The thing is, once you get an accurate diagnosis and start conferring with professionals who can help (and I sincerely hope that access gets a lot easier to that, because so many people in the community struggle to find or afford care !). You just have to keep moving forward 1 foot in front of the other. Good days and bad days. I’m not in any programs or anything, but I find some mantras from the sober community help. “One day at a time,” the serenity prayer, I tell myself if God or the universe brings me to a situation they will bring me through it and I try to picture the other side… I don’t know if you can tell, but I love to write when I’m in the mood so for me, one of my huge helps is regularly writing in a journal, I also carry around a notebook just to help me process every day information and plan and retain things, and of course I watch lots of videos lol I hope you and anyone who stumbles across this has a beautiful day and hang in there
It can be really hard to get diagnosed as an AFAB person. Many doctors are too ready to dismiss what you are going through or just tell you that its all in your head. When I was diagnosed the psychologist asked "Why are you here? It is very obvious you have ADHD." I was 29 at the time and it was validating to hear that I wasn’t just lazy, too sensitive or not trying hard enough. I had spent nearly half of my life being dismissed by mental health professionals and doctors. Luckily I found answers.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Passed out because of over prescribed antidepressants. They just didn’t work for me because depression was not the real problem. It took about a year to completely get off the antidepressants as we found the appropriate dose of medication to treat my newly diagnosed ADHD. I now know when I am slipping into depression and do things to stop that progress. The most effective antidepressant for me is the medication I take for ADHD.
I recently self diagnosed as A.D.H.D. after realising I ticked all the boxes - not severely so but definitely there. This gave me a lot of insight into difficuties I have had in life - most of all always underperforming & inability to organise myself. I have also had severe recurrent depressions since my teens. Your talk has given me a lot to think about. Can I ask why is it so important to some people that they have an "official " diagnosis?
Often it's wanting to be certain one has got it right. Professionals presumably have a better idea of what constitutes various mental health conditions. Sometimes it's so that one can access certain treatments that require a diagnosis. I know some people who started doing a lot better after getting on the right medication. And sometimes it's just simple validation.
I had no idea I had Inattentive ADHD until I was diagnosed in my late 40's. It wasn't until I tried medication that I realized just how hard I had been working at 'life' only to be sub-par in many areas, but, granted, excel in others. For example, I didn't realize that people (neurotypicals) could read a sentence once and understand it, where it took me 5 times because I was always thinking of different things while "reading" the words. I didn't realize people don't normally have a constant barrage of assorted thoughts darting through their minds nonstop either... things like that. After all these realizations, I really unapologetically patted myself on the back for actually doing so well in life because it VERY easily could have gone differently. Nowadays, I am quite open about my diagnosis because I want people to be more educated about it, and although I haven't officially asked for accommodations at work, my boss knows and helps me with things when I ask. Even though I've had a difficult life, I have also been so fortunate compared to so many people whose stories I've read. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm giving credit to God.
Thank you for replying. I suppose my question arose because quite a few people seemed to experience a lot of anguish when they have had to wait a long time for a diagnosis. At least with self diagnosis one is then armed with knowledge & can start learning how to live with ADHD - otherwise one can be stuck waiting at the mercy of other people's waiting lists & needing validation before being able to move on. But yes, I can see there are good reasons for wanting an official diagnosis; I just don't think these reasons must always apply. Also, having had a lot of experience of psychiatrists & various mental health professionals, I think we often give them too much power in an area where there is so much that remains unknown as yet. However, I appreciate the replies to my questions & they have given me more to think about
I cannot tell you how many women I have treated who were diagnosed with moderate to severe depression and anxiety...As I started the evaluation, I began asking certain questions, and the surprise that came over these women's faces and surprise at how well I understood what was occurring in their lives was affirming. "How do you know me? I mean, you get it." I have it, and I can help, but let's get you tested and get the correct meds. Stimulants work for me, but other meds may work as well. It's always individualized treatment.
I feel the inner resistance to cutting him out. It's me that's holding on and I can't work out why. I'm making myself crazy and causing myself so much extra and unnecessary pain. I can't wait to sleep as every hour I'm awake is an inner turmoil and battle. I can't even blame him as it's me that's at fault. It's exhausting to fight daily to appear ok to people around me when I feel such loss and pain inside. I'm at a loss.
@RickHasADHD could you please share if there are any supplements that have helped ADHD, or support brain health? I've heard Ashwagandha suggested. And I know that folks with ADHD have a much higher likelihood to develop other issues linked to low dopamine - like Alzheimer's and dementia. I've heard Vit D3 may be of some help in that area. I really want to know what can help support brain health over time. I'm not expecting a cure, but some supplemental support would be nice. 😊
I've heard Lion's Mane mushrooms (or extract) is good... I've tried it, but I didn't really notice anything. I kind of feel like omega oil helps. I did a bunch of research, which, of course, I don't recall now, that explained which ratio is best between the 3, 6, and 9 types. There is one type of omega (dha??) that we generally don't get enough of through food that's supposed to be good for brains. Please do your research... or maybe Rick will. 😊 There are vegan sources as well... made from algae, which is where the fish get it from. I take it because I don't eat a lot of foods that have it. I did start taking Vitamin D3 + K2 around the same time, too, though, so... 🤷🏼♀️ Sorry, that probably wasn't very helpful! Caffeine helps... lots of caffeine, lol! Edit: the lion's mane mushroom extract powder I took had Ashwagandha in it, too, if that helps, but like I said, I didn't notice any difference myself.
hey Rick, I wish you had spent a few moments on the problem, that almost all women have - and that is blown out of proportion for women with (undiagnosed) Adhd. It's the problem, that women are still expected - and are still the ones doing it - to carry all the mental load of running a household, doing the unpaid care work of raising the kids, nursing the elderly and managing all the schedules of all household members because men still think that they should sometimes offer their spouse some 'help' with the household stuff. This makes those problems much much worse for women. On top of being constantly misdiagnosed, dismissed by the medical field with their ailments, pain and suffering (great example: Endometriosis, need I say more?) for real, I'm a little disappointed that this wasn't even a point in your video.
I'm a woman and I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was 16, but am STILL waiting for an ADHD diagnosis at age 40.
I only realised it myself a few years ago when I discovered that there's an introverted type, not just a hyperactive type. Suddenly my brain made sense!
And now the doctors are like "well you weren't diagnosed as a kid or in the past 20+ years of interacting with mental health professionals, so you can't POSSIBLY have ADHD" and it's incredibly frustrating. It's so very hard to advocate for yourself in healthcare when your executive function barely lets you brush your teeth.
As a former software engr. with ADHD, I could also say we're more susceptible to "Imposter Syndrome" than the rest.
As a software eng with ADHD, I can definitely concur with this.
@@CasimiroBukayo yes I agree. I finished my master in computer science and don't feel for to work in that field. Now I know it's more because of the ADHD than the knowledge about IT.
How completely irrelevant to this video which is about women, not male software engineers 🙄
@@4thllz who are you taking too? I am female ?!
@@4thllz It sounds like you are the one assuming all software engineers are male? If a male makes a comment and says us, can't he mean all software engineers, not just male ones? (speaking as a female former software engineer :) )
On top of all this, when perimenopause enters the chat all these symptoms get intensified even more!
I feel you 💜
Ohhhh yeaaaah! X 10!
Amen, sister!
Yeap! 😟
Seriously???
you did not just hit me with the "you see, man splaining is when.." to cut! you about made me laugh of my chair! haha
To make things more confusing, depression can impair executive function.
Absolutely. How can it not!. So it's hardly surprising that doctors miss the ADHD, especially if the person has the Predominantly Subtype of ADHD which doesn't include all of the classic restlessness, impulsivity, noisy, hyperactivity that most people assume has to be there. .
I didn’t really relate to these women in that for me, it’s more about the sadness/hopelessness of being so behind in life, having lost so much time and yet having no concept of time simultaneously, so it’s only after the fact that you realise how much time has passed. It’s sadness and exhaustion over having to try so hard just to function and still not even managing to stay on top of the day to day. It’s the sadness of not belonging because no one seems to like or understand you. I can’t relate to feeling that way and yet being so successful or achieving huge amounts.
It was a huge lightbulb moment for me when I realised I likely had ADHD. So many things that I couldn’t solve with therapy suddenly made sense. Family dynamics too. And then I waited years for my assessment to be met with an assessor who diminished my experience, didn’t want to diagnose me, and ultimately expected me to present like a classic 8 year old boy. So now I’m in the limbo of not even knowing if that is still the answer, even though it’s made everything fall into place.
That is frustrating. So many doctors don't know how to diagnose. They can easily overlook the many people who have the Predominantly Inattentive Subtype. That variant does not include the classic hyper-activity, restleness, and impulsivity that, as you say, is associated with a disruptive 8 year old boy.
To get out of limbo, perhaps, since everything fell into place, you might simply assume you have it and act accordingly, taking on ADHD-Friendly strategies and seeing if they make a difference. .
I relate to everything you have written
Girl, you sound way to smart to let some idiot doctor keep you from a diagnosis. Congrats, you diagnosed yourself and its valid. If you needs meds, see another doctor
@@RickHasADHD Thank you for taking the time to respond. And you’re definitely right, it would just be nice to know that there is support/allowances in place through my employer, for example, when I’m struggling with tasks, but they are only available with a formal diagnosis.
But thank you for the work you do and how you do it. I watch your videos thinking that you’re such a gift - your sensitivity and sense of humour. Excellent. 🙏 👏
@@Thufferinthuckotash I’m sorry that that’s the case. But hey, we’re not alone!
I have what some call the “classic triad” of neurodivergence: ADHD, Anxiety/Depression and Asperger’s. I can be an Olympic level overthinker, which triggers anxiety, overload and exhaustion. No matter how well I might be doing I always feel like it’s not enough. Did I mention I’m also a recovering perfectionist? I had perfection beaten into me as a kid and I was never good enough. I have Synesthesia too! 🙂
I am intelligent and am starting a business, and yet I can’t get it together enough to clean my place (which I hate doing anyway, so there’s that). I either need a different life or I need a different brain!
Thank you so much for writing this. I immediately felt less alone and less shitty to be honest. This is a topic that I find hard to discuss with people but I never thought of it this way. Even knowing that I'm not just lazy or simply too dumb to have a clean household like everyone, lifts a heavy weight off my shoulders. I felt like a disgrace my whole life and the one time, where I tried to tell my mom how I go into "deepclean mode" everytime they want to visit, she didn't understand what I really wanted to say. She thought I was talking about minor stuff like cleaning the windows and such when I was talking about the need to deepclean the bathroom as soon as possible because you haven't done that properly in a longer time and it looks shitty now and you feel ashamed and ...
@@KaosInOrder I have often thought it should be called Attention SURPLUS Disorder rather than attention deficit disorder. It’s not that I can’t pay attention. It’s that there’s so many things grabbing my attention that my brain can’t sort them out or put them into order of importance.
Thank you Rick. It seems to me that sometimes the depression could also be labelled as simple exhaustion. The one woman with two sons with challenges also sounded exhausted to me. Women with adhd tend to take on a lot of responsibilities, with the added complication of life just being more complicated. For example: when I leave the house to run an errand there are often several trips back and forth through the locked front door to gather all that is needed for a trip to the grocery store! It is hard not to be frustrated by this. Yet my brain definitely has many delightful compensations which it is better to focus on. But, the fact remains running or even co-running a household is easier when your mind is sort of “normal”.
So true. There was a time when I was constantly denied my vacation time. I was such an emotional, mental, and physical wreck, I went to a place I never want to go to again. I think my boss finally gets me now, and they make more of an effort to get coverage when I need time off. It's like when the big semi trucks let out pressure (I think from their brakes?)... I need that pressure relief so it doesn't build even more, even if it's just to catch up on things that need to be done at home.
Oh, my goodness! "It's always something with you " really hit home. 😮
Yes!😢
My mother-in-law said said "So you have another excuse for your lazyness now?" when told that her son was diagnosed.
I have so many ADHD videos in my watchlist that I want to watch, but somehow struggle to even start watching, or only get partway throught before my aattention span gives up, but for some reason I find it much easier to watch your videos, both to start watching, and to finish. Whatever your formula i, it works! Thanks for these videos, I'm glad there is something that my brain can actually respond to!
For me it's s his humour :)
Thank you for talking about ADHD and depression.
Thanks. I hope to delve deeper in future videos.
Thanks for talking about this issue, Rick! Depression is such a frequent co-morbidity for women with ADHD and presents so many issues, especially for those who are undiagnosed.
I've heard it said many times (tho I can't remember when or by whom -irony?) that Burnout stems from having disproportionately more challenges that we don't choose, than those we do choose.
I've had a couple burnouts lead to depression, so... That tracks!
Story of my life. I thank my doctor who picked up on this after I got better from my depression. I’m actually off antidepressants now and getting adhd medication
I use my ADHD to get through my depression. I get out and DO something. Clean the house, rearrange the furniture, go for a walk. Anything physical.
I'm autistic, ADHD, have struggled with depression and anxiety all my life. But I'm winning!!! Most days are pretty good now.
Two university degrees (Economics and History). Sole parent who worked 2 or 3 jobs. Published author (15 titles so far).
Btw Ayers Rock is called Uluru these days. I once had the privilege of climbing it. It is truly amazing.
Thank you for your channel, Rick. ❤
I struggle to find how to tell my psychiatrist to consider adhd as the source of my anxiety and depression, so I appreciate you doing more on this topic.
I was just diagnosed with ADHD and depression. The depression seems to result from my ADHD and lack of proper management over time. For me, treating my depression lead to the ADHD diagnosis as a factor and, frankly, was so very helpful in understanding my own brand of ADHD. Making huge progress now with understanding just how long ADHD impacted me...and accepting this. I'm 61. ❤ On my tombstone, the words "FINALLY" need to be front and center. 😊
This was such a lovely, compassionate piece. The woman talking about working 60 hours a week wondering why SHE couldnt keep her house clean was so relatable, for many women, I'm sure. And society STILL puts the clean house standard on women.
I imagine the male equivalent is the mowed lawn and the shiny car, but neither of those is a daily task. And I know only one man who beats himself up about the lawn still needing a mow. It isn't an evaluation of what will the neighbors think, but more his own wish that HE not be a poor reflection on THEM.
We call it Uluru now.
Something that contributes to the depression is the pressure to be fine all the time. Don't be upset that people were mean to you as a kid (including adults). Don't be upset that you're always losing and forgetting things. Don't be upset that you never got the support you needed. Don't be upset that you're perpetually exhausted. Don't cry because you're overwhelmed. Only babies cry. Don't be upset that people don't believe your disability is real. Don't you know? You just don't care enough. Stop complaining, don't you know that life is hard for everyone? Stop fishing for sympathy, everyone struggles with those things. You're just being lazy. Stop making excuses. Don't be upset, fix things. No one wants to hear you whine. Smile and don't be upset about everything and make everyone else happy and don't be a problem. Try harder.
I always told my therapists that I'm not depressed. but having the feeling that there is a problem with focus and being diagnosed was a different thing all together.
You always explain everything well❤
You rock, Rick. Thank you.
BTW, Rick, I LOVED the Red Green Show, and I didn't put the connection together with you until this channel led me to an interview with you ("Bill").
From my donations to PBS, I STILL have my Red Green Show camping coffee cup and my Carpe Ductum - Seize the Tape (my dad fixed everything with it, LOL) t-shirt. I will never part with this two treasures.
Thank you for this channel, the info, and years of splitting my sides (fixed with duct tape) that you and the whole cast gave me.❤
Thanks for all your efforts.
So nice of you - thanks for watching!
Thanks Rick 💜
Talking therapy and meds: ADHD must be addressed first. Anti depression meds do not work at all, if there is ADHD. Crucial.
Rick i so love your humor😂❤😂❤
Rick, I was so sad to hear your Mom said, “It’s always something with you”. Like you have to always be in the spotlight. NT people have no idea of the built-on levels of shame that we experience. I think we’re around the same age. Here’s a hug for you from a Mom who recognizes and accepts your quirks.
I was diagnosed several times beginning 30 years ago yet never took it very seriously. I just needed to try harder. Right?! Last couple of years trying to work with it, but the depression has always been present all this time off and on, regardless of being diagnosed or not. A diagnosis doesn't really change much I feel.
Dr. Muggli's experience--that could be me talking! I was never diagnosed, and only became aware of this possibility at 65, but in my 20s I began learning strategies to shut down the vicious cycle of depression before it gets out of hand (physical activity, sunshine, and more recently, improving my electromagnetic environment). Just like knowing my reaction of artificial EMR helped me to stop blaming myself for sudden anxiety attacks (there are very few doctors who will recognise or help this condition), knowing about ADHD even without a diagnosis (which I don't think I would be able to obtain in Japan--they're just not "there" yet--like gluten intolerance, it's something to be ashamed of in your child and overcome or hide by adulthood), I can start strategizing with this too, and quit blaming myself uselessly.
In retrospective, I am so happy that my daughter told me that she thinks I might have ADHD and that I should look into it. Because I actually started looking into it and the second I started doing this, I felt like coming home after a long, tiring journey. The more I read and heard about it, the more I realised what was wrong with me. When I told my therapist about it, he immediately said "I'm sorry, but in this case I am not the right therapist for you because you would need someone who is specialised in this and I am not." At that time I just had started seeing him again after a break of about a year. I went there for about 2,5 years and had the impression that he was able to help me in some ways. But there still was something that wasn't solved and I couldn't figure out what it is. So I asked if I could come again and he agreed. But after about three or four visits I noticed that the way he wanted to help me, didn't seem to fit and when I expressed this to my daughter, she told me, what I said in the beginning. This was at the start of 2024 and about five months later I was diagnosed with ADHD and there is a good chance that I'm autistic as well. I turn 50 next year and struggled for so long. Even if I tried to open up and talk to people, they didn't seem to understand and therefore couldn't help. When I told my parents about my diagnose, they were absolutely flabbergasted. Even them didn't realise what went on inside my mind, how I masked so hard that today, I don't really know who I am anymore. I always was what I thought I was supposed to be. But I am glad that I got diagnosed because that means I can do something actively now to improve my situation. It sucks to suffer from depression but no matter what you try, nothing really helps. Now I know that the depression is just a side effect, like my dyscalculia and other things. Thank you for doing these videos and helping people like me to get their life together.
I'm 64 and have been taking anti depressants since 20 and I know ADHD and CPTSD are my demons. I'm a Hermit but you are helping me face my future. Thank you
Depression becomes comorbid to undiagnosed ADHD because, there MUST be something wrong with you, and, it must be your fault. I have the inattentive presentation and wasn’t diagnosed till 43 years old because I wasn’t hyperactive… I was on a terrible antidepressant that just made me worse for 25 years.
It was only stumbling across some adhd videos when I searched out my symptoms - I advocated for myself, did the long process of testing, and what do you know - it’s a girl with I-adhd.
And NOW, in my mid forties, I finally understand and accept myself.
The BEST advice I can give in light of 43 years of self hate and depression - if you suspect something is wrong and your current treatment is not working, SEEK A DIAGNOSIS by a licensed professional. Intake - wait one month - test - wait a few more months, TRUST THE PROCESS, try and have patience, and you’ll get back a super extensive report that will help you understand what makes you tick and why. They’ll tell you areas of strength, where you need work, and specific therapies, and/or meds that might work best for your neurotype.
Honestly, just learning more about yourself, that this is how you were born and it’sNIT YOUR FAULT - is a HUGE weight off.
Be assertive.
Get mad at feeling shitty and advocate for yourself!
What a journey you've had! I admire your fortitude and am so glad you're speaking out for us late-diagnosed Inattentive ADHDers!
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane
Thank you for that. I appreciate the kind words and wish you well too ❤ before diagnosis it can be a really isolating existence, talking about it with other women who also have similar experiences is a comfort I find.
This journey is only just begun, it’s very hard still (even knowing finally what is going on!) to actively work on myself. Ordinary life stressors, family, being the sandwich generation with sick parents, children who also struggle with mental health in this wild world we all live in… we face so many situations that are challenging and an of themselves, when you throw the ADHD on top of it with executive dysfunction and emotional liability or whatever else it’s a huge challenge at times (
Who am I kidding, it’s a huge challenge most of the time!
The thing is, once you get an accurate diagnosis and start conferring with professionals who can help (and I sincerely hope that access gets a lot easier to that, because so many people in the community struggle to find or afford care !). You just have to keep moving forward 1 foot in front of the other. Good days and bad days.
I’m not in any programs or anything, but I find some mantras from the sober community help. “One day at a time,” the serenity prayer, I tell myself if God or the universe brings me to a situation they will bring me through it and I try to picture the other side…
I don’t know if you can tell, but I love to write when I’m in the mood so for me, one of my huge helps is regularly writing in a journal, I also carry around a notebook just to help me process every day information and plan and retain things, and of course I watch lots of videos lol I hope you and anyone who stumbles across this has a beautiful day and hang in there
It can be really hard to get diagnosed as an AFAB person. Many doctors are too ready to dismiss what you are going through or just tell you that its all in your head. When I was diagnosed the psychologist asked "Why are you here? It is very obvious you have ADHD." I was 29 at the time and it was validating to hear that I wasn’t just lazy, too sensitive or not trying hard enough. I had spent nearly half of my life being dismissed by mental health professionals and doctors. Luckily I found answers.
The word is WOMAN, not 'AFAB' person. Just stop with this delusional misogynist nonsense 🤦♀️
I LOVE the Friday Funnies! Them alone are worth the Patreon because they're a weekly lift-me-up that makes me laugh! 😂
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Passed out because of over prescribed antidepressants. They just didn’t work for me because depression was not the real problem. It took about a year to completely get off the antidepressants as we found the appropriate dose of medication to treat my newly diagnosed ADHD. I now know when I am slipping into depression and do things to stop that progress. The most effective antidepressant for me is the medication I take for ADHD.
I recently self diagnosed as A.D.H.D. after realising I ticked all the boxes - not severely so but definitely there. This gave me a lot of insight into difficuties I have had in life - most of all always underperforming & inability to organise myself. I have also had severe recurrent depressions since my teens. Your talk has given me a lot to think about.
Can I ask why is it so important to some people that they have an "official " diagnosis?
Often it's wanting to be certain one has got it right. Professionals presumably have a better idea of what constitutes various mental health conditions.
Sometimes it's so that one can access certain treatments that require a diagnosis. I know some people who started doing a lot better after getting on the right medication.
And sometimes it's just simple validation.
I'll add to Charle's answer: School and work require papers for accomodations to be made.
I had no idea I had Inattentive ADHD until I was diagnosed in my late 40's. It wasn't until I tried medication that I realized just how hard I had been working at 'life' only to be sub-par in many areas, but, granted, excel in others. For example, I didn't realize that people (neurotypicals) could read a sentence once and understand it, where it took me 5 times because I was always thinking of different things while "reading" the words. I didn't realize people don't normally have a constant barrage of assorted thoughts darting through their minds nonstop either... things like that. After all these realizations, I really unapologetically patted myself on the back for actually doing so well in life because it VERY easily could have gone differently. Nowadays, I am quite open about my diagnosis because I want people to be more educated about it, and although I haven't officially asked for accommodations at work, my boss knows and helps me with things when I ask. Even though I've had a difficult life, I have also been so fortunate compared to so many people whose stories I've read. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm giving credit to God.
Thank you for replying. I suppose my question arose because quite a few people seemed to experience a lot of anguish when they have had to wait a long time for a diagnosis. At least with self diagnosis one is then armed with knowledge & can start learning how to live with ADHD - otherwise one can be stuck waiting at the mercy of other people's waiting lists & needing validation before being able to move on.
But yes, I can see there are good reasons for wanting an official diagnosis; I just don't think these reasons must always apply. Also, having had a lot of experience of psychiatrists & various mental health professionals, I think we often give them too much power in an area where there is so much that remains unknown as yet.
However, I appreciate the replies to my questions & they have given me more to think about
I cannot tell you how many women I have treated who were diagnosed with moderate to severe depression and anxiety...As I started the evaluation, I began asking certain questions, and the surprise that came over these women's faces and surprise at how well I understood what was occurring in their lives was affirming. "How do you know me? I mean, you get it." I have it, and I can help, but let's get you tested and get the correct meds. Stimulants work for me, but other meds may work as well. It's always individualized treatment.
Oh!? Your mother😢 so sorry that wasnt able to ease her mind and hence start to heal your relationship.
54yo female lately diagnosed. Referring to your video:
yes.
The depression is overwhelming and be added to the adhd I'm not sure how to get help. I'm drowning
I feel the inner resistance to cutting him out. It's me that's holding on and I can't work out why. I'm making myself crazy and causing myself so much extra and unnecessary pain. I can't wait to sleep as every hour I'm awake is an inner turmoil and battle. I can't even blame him as it's me that's at fault. It's exhausting to fight daily to appear ok to people around me when I feel such loss and pain inside. I'm at a loss.
Ok Rick, a manly man may have a model train set and a woman may admire that man's caboose.
So anxiety and depression aren't simply the problem.... They're symptoms of a bigger problem....hmmm... Thank you Rick
What are people doing for AD / ADHD after the fact ? Can it be regulated without medication ? 😮
For me (male) it’s diet, sleep, talking, magnesium, zinc and exercise daily
Oh and vit D/ K2
@RickHasADHD could you please share if there are any supplements that have helped ADHD, or support brain health? I've heard Ashwagandha suggested.
And I know that folks with ADHD have a much higher likelihood to develop other issues linked to low dopamine - like Alzheimer's and dementia. I've heard Vit D3 may be of some help in that area.
I really want to know what can help support brain health over time. I'm not expecting a cure, but some supplemental support would be nice. 😊
I've heard Lion's Mane mushrooms (or extract) is good... I've tried it, but I didn't really notice anything. I kind of feel like omega oil helps. I did a bunch of research, which, of course, I don't recall now, that explained which ratio is best between the 3, 6, and 9 types. There is one type of omega (dha??) that we generally don't get enough of through food that's supposed to be good for brains. Please do your research... or maybe Rick will. 😊 There are vegan sources as well... made from algae, which is where the fish get it from. I take it because I don't eat a lot of foods that have it. I did start taking Vitamin D3 + K2 around the same time, too, though, so... 🤷🏼♀️ Sorry, that probably wasn't very helpful! Caffeine helps... lots of caffeine, lol!
Edit: the lion's mane mushroom extract powder I took had Ashwagandha in it, too, if that helps, but like I said, I didn't notice any difference myself.
😂 it took me a minute to understand the mansplaining joke, I thought I accidentally fast-forwarded
😊
Lol at 00:39 😂
ADHD and Imposter Syndrome?
hey Rick, I wish you had spent a few moments on the problem, that almost all women have - and that is blown out of proportion for women with (undiagnosed) Adhd. It's the problem, that women are still expected - and are still the ones doing it - to carry all the mental load of running a household, doing the unpaid care work of raising the kids, nursing the elderly and managing all the schedules of all household members because men still think that they should sometimes offer their spouse some 'help' with the household stuff. This makes those problems much much worse for women. On top of being constantly misdiagnosed, dismissed by the medical field with their ailments, pain and suffering (great example: Endometriosis, need I say more?)
for real, I'm a little disappointed that this wasn't even a point in your video.