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My wife and I divorced in 2018. I did not want to divorce but she was dead set on it after years of health problems. It was a struggle and after hitting rock bottom we began to eventually grow closer to each other. In 2020, we remarried. I think this is possible for other people, not for everyone, but certainly for more people than try it. Both people need to be willing to humble themselves, realize they are on the same team, and care for the other. My heart goes out to anyone struggling with divorce and I pray they receive the same miracle I did in the opportunity to remarry my ex-wife.
She told me after 16 years she loves me but not in love with me. I’m crushed. It’s been almost a year and this coming week our house will be sold and we’ll be on our on ways co-parenting 😞
@@mikehufnagl8696pray! 8 years ago my husband kicked me out of our home of 30 years. I shut myself in with God, and rejected all counsel from well meaning saints. I didn’t know what the outcome would bring, but clung to our Lord. Let’s fast forward this story. He returned to his senses, I moved back home. He remained in his sin, but I was home. He became very ill, and is now in a wheelchair, with too many infirmities to write. I am his sole caregiver. All those purveyors of division are gone. Now the hard task of caring for him lies ahead of this aging body, but I would rather the labor than the loss! Pray, fast, fight!
More needs to be said about narcissistic abuse. It slowly kills. A spouse with a narcissistic spirit is mentally ill and does not stop until the other person is destroyed. Everything about them is a lie, and was a lie from the start. You have no idea what you are caught up in until it’s too late. It doesn’t matter if you pray or cry; plead or fight. The narcissist has complete power over you, so your struggle to live won’t be done until you are done, and only scraps of your self remain. In 2012, after thirty years of marriage, and six children, God gave me the courage to drive away from my abusive spouse with my sick, elderly mother and youngest son who was fourteen. The three of us were terrified. The police were involved and I had to cut contact with my spouse. Almighty God took care of us and led the way. It took four years to muster the courage to divorce. Now, at 65, after twelve years alone, God is giving me strength to seek an annulment. I know it’s not what God wanted for me, but I desperately need His peace and closure. I am praying that His will be done, whatever that may be.
I have been married 47 years and could have left many times, but God has always encouraged me to love my wife regardless. I can truly say I am blessed!
I was married to an extremely abusive pastor 29 years and left penniless he had affairs and lied so I was labeled unredeemable because he found a wealthy woman to advance his ministry Been single many years prayers appreciated
It is a terrible thing to fall into the Hands of an angry God. God will restore you and execute His Judgement with speed and finality.. Hang in there God is not asleep... Stay connected to The Lord He will restore you... Try to move on... Its not worth while stagnating... Move all be it 1 inch a day.. But try to move on and try not cry any more, he is not worth you shedding 1 more tear. Your heart will thank you.
If one hasnt been abused by a narcissist they would not really understand what it feels like to be stuck in that toxic space .And forgiving does not mean getting back into the same unhealthy space or relationship . I almost went sick and almost insane from trying to hold onto a dysfunctional marriage !It wss so bad that my own sons told me to leave .. . I had insomnia gor 4 years. For me forgiveness means letting them go and letting God . . . We also have to remember that the enemy had his agents out there . . . For me , God looks at our hearts , He feels our pain . . . Sticking in a dysfunctional marriage is actually bondage and can totally ruin ones life and prevent them from achieving their purpose in life . . . For ss long as one spouse is lost in sin , God does not bless the marriage . . . And many times , the victim takes on the role of trying to change their spouse which should not be . Only God changes people . . . I decided to get out of God's way and let Him deal with my spouse . Bottom line , our focus has to be on God and not on our spouses .
I could not agree with this more! Narcissists are "wolves in sheep's clothing". It was 40 years for me and I got to the point that I lost my will to live. It was actually God, speaking through the Holy Spirit that told me "enough, walk away, get out". I truly believe that. I also believe God wants us to have a happy, peaceful existence which enables us to focus on our relationship with Him, and if you are in an abusive relationship there is only a focus on that dysfunctional dynamic and the abusive behavior that is stealing your sound mind. God loves us and wants the best for us. Narcissists or any abuser really is only going to take your peace and sound mind, which distances you from your relationship with God, and in my opinion, can even open the door to dark forces. Since I left and divorced, I have never felt such peace and closeness to our Lord. Not ever. I honestly believe He is the one that broke the trauma bond because I certainly couldn't do it with my own human capabilities, and Satan only wanted to keep it intact. I wholeheartedly believe ongoing abuse, and I'm not talking just physical, because I was never physically battered, is a biblical reason for divorce.
I can relate, not a marriage but a false friend. A narcissist, slandering violent wolf who not only worked to destroy me behind my back by belittling me but tried to make me mentally ill that he succeeded with many others, but I with the Lord God's WILL overcome him, told the truth that he was a destroyer of people's lifes and shut him out my life forever. These are toxic vessels of Satan sent to lower ones spiritual vibrations so there soul can be devoured. He was a tight , selfish stingy git but would take the shirt of your back if he could and wanted everyone to serve him, over took your home, eat all the food and never offered you any help in anyway inc financially, even though you were struggling and also he sold drugs ,claimed benefit and had a 5 day job. Iv been free of these toxic people for a decade and I found myself again and more importantly... I found a loving relationship and with God, Father and Son and there beautiful holy spirit 🙏✝️
@@Blessed591 I hear you. I also commented on this site and some folks I guess thinks abuse should be tolerated. May God set you free, provide for what you need in Jesus name. ✝️🙏
Father restore my marriage relationship with an adulterous husband. I know he is making my life as miserable as he can, to justify the fact that he has found another woman to take my place, and does not want to acknowledge his infidelity as the reason to separate. I am in despair, as living with his lies is driving me crazy. I pray for God’s guidance. Jesus come to my aid, Amen
I am in the same boat. I am praying for you my sister in Christ. Do not bend. Rely on Jesus in this time and be a faithful wife for GODS GLORY. Not because your husband deserves it. Bless you ❤
@christinereilly8829 remember adultery was the only reason one could divorce back then. It's a trust issue that is broken and a Jewish man in the comments told me that in their understanding of marriage is they are allies. Think about that The bible talks about how two cannot walk together unless they agree. And it's good to go in pairs because the two can pick each other up. So if you decide to call it quits have no remorse.
@@christinereilly8829my 15 year anniversary is on Saturday. My husband is currently living with his mom and separated from me and our 3 children who are 13, 14, and 18. I realize we have almost the same name. I’m Christina. I’m praying for you and your husband and marriage. ❤
Spiritually when 2 people have sex, there is a spiritual exchange that happens in the soul. Literally your roaming Husband is mixing with the spiritual of the other women. Which give the legal right for every one of their demons to take up resident in him. Your feelings of despair and feeling crazy could be coming from those encounters. You are in no way required to stay in that relationship. Walk away and get healed in Jesus so you can forgive him. Put it all in God's hands. You not under any religious law to stay with an adulterous man.
My wife and I divorced a couple of months ago. I did not want to get divorced. I pray that God rekindles my marriage in Jesus mighty name. I am ready to lead my family following Jesus like never before. Pray for me believers of Christ!!
1 Cor 7 v10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
This is my 2nd marriage. I married my present wife when we were both 56 yrs old. Now we have become a statistic because this our 8th year and she told me she's DONE! I realize that there is some hardening of hearts be it hers or mine but, the thing is I don't want to end it. My losing my leg above the knee has weighed on my mind to such a degree that forgot to look to the hills from which cometh my health and it has fi ally come to a head. I've been praying for God to change me and restore this union. It's just so much sometimes I don't know where to start. Pray for my wife and I that the Creator of the universe who can restore or resurrect anything will speak a word into this tomb that we've found ourselves in and alow us to walk out together as one.
When a man and woman get married and it is the first marriage for both of them, then they are in a covenant marriage (Genesis 2:24). A covenant marriage can only be ended by the death of one of the spouses (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). When this occurs, the surviving spouse (widow or widower) is free to marry a never-married person or another surviving covenant spouse (widow or widower), which makes the new marriage a covenant marriage. So, if you are in a covenant marriage and you divorce your covenant husband/wife, you can not marry another man/woman as long as your covenant husband/wife is still alive. If you do, you will be committing adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3). No adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21). So, if your second marriage is a marriage that Jesus calls adultery, believers cannot pray that God restores such a marriage. Believers can pray that God restores a covenant marriage. In order to pray in accordance with the scriptures, believers need to know if your first marriage is a covenant marriage.
@@billyford7853 I was married to a non-believer who abandoned me and left the home for almost a year. I heard/ read someone talk about the Apostle Paul referencing the abandonedment of a believer by a non-believer is another instance like adultery that can end a marriage. Any insight on that?
I had been married for over 26 years and my ex had divorced me I never cheated on her, but she did me!! Since 2011, I had gone through an emotional roller coaster and within a few years ago, I look back now and realize what has taken place within my life there’s a reason for everything!! I turned my back on GOD before the marriage, but have turn back to GOD. I live alone and see that the Holy Spirit is always there so I’m never alone spiritually. The problem I see is man has taken GOD out of the families, schools and churches. I could have gotten remarried and the Spirit had warned me, do not for I see it to be adultery and will not!!
I know that God did not want me to continue bring in a marriage with a narcissist . I was tormented, and abused for 22 years . . . My children grew up in a toxic environment. . . And its like all doors and windows of opportunity were closed fir as long as I was in that marriage . . . The minute I left , doors opened up for mysel and sons . And irinically my spouse used that very verse of " God hates divorce " to try and keep me in the abusive marriage . . .
Just shy of 20 years for me in same dynamic. It crossed into his physical abuse of me. Narcissists have a hardness of heart as Moses described. They have no Ability to Love. They have such low self worth but make up grandiosity in themselves. It’s exhausting!
I had same situation and had to leave I was married to a Narcissist and tried everything I could to work it out but anywhere I turn whether for counseling or anything else the door was always closed. I left the marriage even though I was new Christian at the time and didn’t know scripture. I didn’t know the implications but I’m wondering 💭 I’ve been single for many years now does that mean I can’t get remarried even though I was abused, neglected unloved. This is a very hard teaching. I got in a relationship at 18 from high school got divorced at 27 and now in my fourtys I feel lonely now and wondering should I have stayed in an abusive relationship instead, that just don’t seem right. You get punished for someone who doesn’t love you yet you have to stay or get the consequences of being g alone and single since you can’t marry anymore is this correct?
@@lemerry231…. the situation really depends on when you became a Christian. If it was after the divorce then scripture would seem to say it’s ok to remarry…since your belief in Gods laws only began after you divorced.
This has brought me so much comfort🥹. I married my grade 7 sweetheart & after 20 years together he left our daughters & I. He did not LOVE me any more & was out of control gambling, stealing drinking. We lost everything but I still loved him & tried to work it out, he wouldn’t!!! I know I wasn’t perfect in our marriage always wanted to work it out… My family is super religious & does not like or respect me & my new husband bc I got divorced💔 I will always fight for my family & never abandon them, they are a part of me🥰 I am no longer filled with guilt & shame, my daughters have the worlds bestest stepdad & we welcomed a beautiful boy to our loving family🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
According to Mark 10:11-12, Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39, you are committing adultery if your first husband is still alive. You can not marry another as long as your first husband is still alive because only death ends a covenant marriage. Because you are happy with your second husband, and he treats your daughters well, your marriage is still sinful before God. If you love the Lord, you will keep His commandments.
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery." Luke 16:18 "A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." 1. Corinthians 7:39 "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife." 1. Corinthians 7:10-11 In some circumstances, separation may be unavoidable. But I can only see remarriage in the Bible if the spouse has died. Anything else would be adultery before God and is quite simply a serious matter.
Reading these comments and listening to this. I have never been married and it is very clear in the Bible and what God has created in marriage. Prayers for all here who have suffered with divorce and pain and suffering. I have stayed away from marriage because most don't understand God's word on marriage.
I got a divorce stating irreconcilable differences. The truth is he was abusive and unfaithful for the 261/2 years of the 27 years of our marriage. He never took responsibility and lied to our children about his adultery.
I read the other day, God commanded those married to heathens to divorce and send the wives and the children back their people. I believe there are reason for divorce. @@KathiOsborn
In many US states, adultery is not an option for divorce. They don't care why. You just file. The statistics mentioned in the video are definitely skewed because of that.
Thank you. This is the clearest teaching I have heard on divorce. Thank you for not saying abuse is a valid reason for divorce as so many others do. Though I hate to hear of genuine abuse in marriage, the Bible only allows for separation in such cases. It's about the importance of the covenant in God's eyes, which is a symbol of Jesus's union with the church. Thank you for courageous, biblical teaching.
Do you have any idea of the effects of narcissistic abuse? Not only on wives, children and pets but also indirect family members and neighbours. Sometimes people don't realise what they are saying. Be blessed with wisdom, discernment and kindness.
My wife of 25 years was a narcissist. She had at least one affair, blamed me, applied for a divorce, called the police to have me removed from the house because "she didn't want me there anymore" (no accusation of violence, verbal or emotional abuse etc.), failed to convince them so left with my young teenage children. That was four years ago and I haven't seen her or my girls since.
The courts won't listen because my girls are old enough to make their own minds up. However, my now ex wife has turned them against their loving father so that I receive no acknowledgement to any contact. I have suffered in a way I would never have thought possible and cannot explain: one week I'm the happiest man alive, 5 weeks later I lose the woman and children I loved with all my heart, I am forced from my home by a court order and have to sofa surf for a few months. So why do I say what I've said? Because I believe in God's ways. I fully forgive my wife, not only because God tells me to, but the Spirit reminds me my wife was badly sexually abused as a child and never dealt with it. Hurt people hurt people.
After listening to the previous teaching on narcissistic spirit after 37 years of marriage, I had to leave an abusive relationship to be safe. Sometimes one person can take their vows seriously and the other does not and it is not up to one person to hold a marriage together. It takes two to make a marriage and only one to break it.
There are situations why people divorce, my friend found her husband married her under false pretences. He was homosexual. A person can't stay in that kind of marriage.
Then he had to have been a "Narcissist". The covert-type. Hiding their true self. This is what I experience with my ex-husband. Just awful!!! Hope that she was able to recover.
What marriage with a narcissist is when he betrays and on top of that he inflicts pain on the wife That covenant is broken Can somebody build on broken foundation if you try it will fall again, if you misuse the appliance you loose warranty I tried and I forgive my husband all my life he never care He never learn the goodness of god Now in 63 I’m trying to figure out how to get away from him because it’s nothing that comes out of his mouth other than lies Do we have to ignore evil ?
Never ignore evil- take up your sword of the spirit and fight it with the word of God. You are in a spiritual battle and Jesus has paid the price for you to have power over all the enemy. Luke 10:19
@@Chateautea thank you Marriage should be two people loving each other and working together Not fighting or betraying hurting the person next to you that you suppose to love I fought against my husband all my life For 40 years I wanted to leave him but I decided to pray I prayed every night for two weeks and I had a dream based on the dream I didn’t live him now after 40 years the dream has been fulfilled God was helping me all my life and I overcame evil with God help I would not be able to to do it on my own. I was able to provide with God help for my family raised 7 awesome children none of them are like him God is good
I'm also with a narcissistic husband,and I'm also 63 yrs old.i'm seeing a counselor right now.shrs helping me through this.otsakinhe stronger to make the best move,and that is to move on to a better life.I'll pray for you! don't give up!
In Biblical times, some, men not wanting to pay out the wife according to the law, ( 2yrs of income) would merely send her back to her family. "Put her away" is the term not divorce and give her back her freedom. Meaning she was still a married woman and could not remarry. Through the years things get lost in translation. Has anyone managed to change a narcissist into a Godly man? This is an honest question. Unless you were married to one, you would not know the depth of that evil.
I am married to a drug addict who refuses to admit she has a problem and brings hardcore drugs into our home with children in the home. I have asked her to leave until she can get clean? I am in a constant struggle if I’m doing the right or wrong thing in this situation???? Prayers please
I went through a divorce nine years ago and have not recovered. It was one of the most horrible experience for my soul. But my children are forever scarred.
hmmm 9 years ago ? I can relate. The time down that is. Every time I would bemoan the causes about "the other person", a dear friend said to me on two different occasions that "my face and voice would change......that it was not me" That was all. I was living in a self made prison of hate and unforgiveness off and on for nearly 10 years. One day , on a trip to the coast, I listened to a series from Charles Stanley on ''anger', and unforgiveness. God spoke gently to my heart .....''it is time to forgive". The hate and unforgiveness was not against my ex wife, it was against the person that spread allegations, innuendos and lies about me .......He was one slick orator to convince her of these things. All her co workers saw through this guy, and tried to get her to see .the narcissistic psyc control that this person had on her. Two counselors , and her long time friends could not reach her....... You see , "the other person" was her ex from long ago ........After the divorce, albeit too late for reconciling, she woke up . The damage was done. I lost what I thought was a life time friend ....... also, a few years after she left, she died of a brain aneurysm ..........God does not guarantee Life without heartache , He does teach us He is always there to walk with us through these things, .....and He surely did with me. Forgiving this late in life for me was not easy....it was a few weeks of faith and prayer for the Holy Spirit to work in my heart . 18 years have passed, and I am nearing 79. my singleness has been mixed.......yet I let go, and live in peace
I pray that God will heal you and your children, it's 8 years now since we have been separated, he moved out after having an affair with woman half his age, they now have two little boys and we were together for 28 years, still legally married but he is still pursuing divorce, it's only God who has delayed the paper work, he is now pursuing selling our home because as he says, he needs the money to support his new family. It's not been easy on my children who are both in their 20's. Prayers and counselling will help you and your children. I will keep you in my prayers, I know the pain.
I agree completely. After over 20 years, my husband became involved with another woman. I forgave him, have forgiven him, but he emotionally detached and was not interested in reconciliation and was even less interested in what the will of the Lord was or what His word said. He divorced me after 28 years, almost 2 years ago. I’m still struggling to heal and praying for God to heal and make me whole. I think it’s worth noting here that both my husband and the other woman claim to be “Christians.” But when it came to applying biblical principles to our marriage and honoring the marriage bed, they were led by their feelings and not the Word of God.
Your husband needs a deliverance. Many Christians don’t understand spiritual. Gods is not in your husband’s relationship with that woman. Think about it, if God is not in it, who is? Satan and he is a deceiver.
Sex = marriage. It's sad that today people treat it like candy. For some, holding hands has become more intimate. It's sad people have had more than 1 partner.
@@tinaregeneratedlady3476 HE is my first love, which is why I have abandoned earthly needs, but because they are earthly, it is difficult for a human living in an earthly body.
You are not called to do it in your own strength but through the grace and power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in you when you believe that Jesus is the Lord of your life and He has taken away all your sins and called you to be righteous and holy not by your works But by you believing in his works
Is it really? What makes it hard? Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) reads “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I say this not to dispute your assertion, but to reconcile it to these words. I tend to believe that if you find following Jesus to be very hard, then you're probably doing something wrong.
If we cry out to God, "Help me do thy will," let your will become my will" in your marriage, He will ... 25 yrs in, and we have battled addiction ,infidelity, separation. All while raising 5 beautiful children . IT IS POSSIBLE IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE ! Surrendering everything house , finance, partner,children ,emotions ,feelings ,pain. ,hurt ,rejection, and deciding to just live and let God is a very hard step to take BUT than the burden lifts of of you ❤and onto God one has to totally surrender and die in every area . Many don't want to save the marriage ,so sad God hates divorce that tells me enough to Know God's will for us . The World says it's ok it's over we are not of the world . GOD Grace us the desire to die daily to our own desires and grace us the will to desire what you have for us ❤❤❤ Love you, my Lord The Lord is a gentleman. He will not push His way in . Please invite Him to help save the family and the marriage .He will, in His way, the best way ❤
I was married, and divorced twice. First time in my early 20s. Second time in my 30s. Both men cheated on me and left. They did not want reconciliation. Thus, divorce. Because of this, I remain single, not dating at all.
When my husband went astray, the primary concern of my heart (by God’s grace) was for his soul more than my comfort. I prayed for him without ceasing and believed God for the best outcome. He still filed for divorce but I was confident, without a shadow of a doubt, that I fulfilled my commitment before God and man. This was more important to me than the ‘pursuit of happiness’ because it kept me in right relationship to my God and Savior. The Bible tells us to set our minds in things eternal. I think that is key to have the right attitude towards marriage. God bless all who have a heart to please God and trust Him with all decisions of life.
Yes, this is what happened to me also. I pray for my ex husband that he will walk with Jesus again. I keep looking up while not forgetting my purpose here. GOD be with you ❤
I divorced my husband after 12 years of marriage and two children. I was not aware my husband was living a double life of multiple infidelity. I wasn’t saved at this time. It was a crushing blow to me and the children. Later I remarried and have been remarried for nearly 25 years. The Lord saved me, my husband is not saved. My discernment kicked in when you stated if you don’t intend on keeping your marriage vow perhaps living togather is what you should do. I disagree as James 4:17 states Therefore, to one who knows to do the right thing and does not do it, to him it is sin. The relationship not worthy of marriage before God is not worthy of “ living in sin” that would be deliberate sin on a daily basis .
Very true that we shouldn’t live in sin. But many people get married only to still commit sexual immorality (whether it’s pornography, adultery, etc) so they just add sin to sin because now it usually involves lying, deception, etc. Sexual sin while married is far greater than had they never married at all. Also, It involves far more damage and betrayal when discovered. Sexual sin is a HUGE problem in our day. But far better had they never married than to sin sexually after marriage. “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4
I am so glad that this particular video came across my screen this morning. Ten years ago, my husband left me for a younger woman, and this video clarified my understanding of what the Bible says regarding my situation. 😊
Its easy to judge when you're in a normal marriage. But we ALL come short to the glory whether in marriage, divorce, eating habits, prayer habits, boasting, humble bragging, and on and on. No wonder the youth turns away from the church.😢
1 Cor 7 v39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord
According to Jesus, remarrying with your spouse still alive is adultery - Luke 16:18. Paul claims in 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 that Jesus commands the man not to divorce and the wife is not to separate but if she does she can only reconcile with her husband. If Jesus’ very words are not to be believed concerning marriage, divorce and adultery than none of His words are true.
This. Right. Here. Like JESUS said it very specifically and it’s covered in more than 1 gospel. Why state it for confusions sakes? But no, the ppl just don’t want to believe
I am now divorced from my wife of 18 years. This is a divorce I never wanted and I am still very much in love with her. I got a raise the other day at work and I got sad because I wanted to celebrate with her. I know what it means to love. The reason I hurt so much is because I love her so much. Please pray that God would begin the process of leading her back . I would love to reconcile and to wake up again next to her
I asked God to give me a burning bush moment and tell me what I need to do. That same week she broke down and cried and told me she was dating an unbeliever with a ton of red flags . She broke it off but that is the direction she's headed. She is looking to move on and later that day she told me to let her go. Please just pray for God's perfect will and pray that God heals broken hearts amen
I married very young and have been married 50+ years. I was taught that divorce is not an option, it's til death do you part. Had it not been for my Christian upbringing and my faith in God, I might not have stayed with my husband. It was hard for some years, but I was committed because of my faith, and God has blessed me for my faithfulness. I have a good husband now and am so glad I obeyed God! I once heard a preacher say, " marriage is 20% love and 80% commitment". Marriage IS A COMMITMENT!!
I have been married 29 years. Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband has had many addictions; alcohol, drugs, smoking. I was not aware of his addictions until after we were married. He stopped smoking and started vaping after 20 years. He stopped drinking alcohol, and stopped taking illegal drugs, but now he’s addicted to prescription drugs. He’s also addicted to food and eats obsessively and is obese. Porn is another addiction he has. It’s been so difficult for me to remain in the marriage. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs, never have. I read the Bible everyday and my faith is strong. I keep telling my hub that he has an evil spirit that’s killing him slowly, but he mocks me. But in reality, he does have the spirit of gluttony. I’m at the end of my rope I just want peace in my life. But I stay with him because he is my husband, and no one else will take care of him. God has a purpose for everything.
I am still with my narcissistic wife after 35 years of sexless marriage… it’s tough but it’s much worse in hell… the Bible clearly says to endure until the end in order to be saved.
@@georgeteo8797Exactly! It’s why I stay with my husband too. Even if he’s not always a good husband, he’s the one I chose as a lifetime partner. I’d rather stay with him than divorce and commit adultery by remarrying. I have never believed in divorce. God put us together for a reason.
Your husband is committing sexual immorality with pornography and is biblical grounds for divorce according to Christ. ““It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32
Jesus says all divorce and remarriage is adultery( Mark 10;11-12, Luke 16:18) and it's a covenant to death (Romans 7:2-3, 1 Cor 7:39) and if you do divorce you are to remain unmarried or get back with your spouse (1 Cor 7:10-11). Matt 5:32 and 19:9 Jesus used 2 different words and say that fornication ( sex between single people) or the betrothed period was the only reason to divorce and like Joseph was going put away Mary was the only exception. Jesus never taught remarriage ever, just the opposite to remain single. If you are going through divorce remain single and ask the Lord to restore you marriage. That is what Jesus does with Israel.
This is the truth. It isn't legalistic. It's the words of the Bible. Unless God tells you personally what he wants for you, you are in perpetual adultery if you remarry. The disciples themselves said "then it is better not to marry." If you aren't in it for life, don't get married.
@@Blessed591Right, who’d want to get married then if you joyfully marry someone gladly looking forward to forging a union with them and building a God honoring family, etc and then they reveal that they hate you, despise you, ridicule you, abuse you and on and on and God “says” to stay or go somewhere and pray whether it’s reconciled or not. Nope Know a lady right now waiting for her husband to come home for prison. He’s in there for molesting the daughters. “Better” to be with him than to go through life spouse less. 🤦♀️
Well here’s the thing there are greys that are not addressed in the Bible and I don’t agree with you at all, if someone beats the hell out of there wife and the wife’s decided to leave, I don’t think it’s God will tell anyone for the sake of keeping a covenant stay in abusive relationship whether it is physical or emotional. We all make mistakes my conviction is just like any other sin or any other religious act, Jesus came to abolish the law but he mentioned these things so we can know what’s right so folks aren’t doing stuff out of flesh and saying hey I’ve been married for 20 years I’m tied of you now, so that’s more along the lines of what’s being said, which is why Jesus was always mad at the Pharisees and Religious leaders of that day, they had the law down pack to the letter but they themselves couldn’t keep it. I want you to put the shoes on you or your mom or someone you love and give me a straight answer if you were abused in anyway by another person and tried everyone you could to work it out but it didn’t work out to me that is more of a foundational issue and two people purposes were not aligned in the first place. Marriage is not just about Love but its about purpose. Hence, so many people throw out there the scripture what “God” joined together let no man put asunder key word: “God” what he put together and you violate that based on shallow things such as the flesh etc than you may not have other alternatives, however I’ve seen many people who have divorced because they did not marry their God ordained spouse Hence everything came to ruins because God never put that relationship together in the first place. If you got married at 16 and didn’t know what you were doing and then at 25 got divorced. I don’t believe God will tell at 25 year old hey you got a divorce even though you and that person couldn’t reconcile your differences hence you are stuck for life never to find a mate again: I don’t think so. People take stuff from the Bible so literal and out of context that continues to put people in bondage, Hence people living a miserable life over one mistake they made and can’t get remarried. No I don’t agree. I agree that every situation is a case by case basis and God is the Judge, I’ve remarried and I don’t feel condemned because I know why I left a narcissist, I bent over backwards and forward to the moon and back to try to work out and the conclusion was, I wasn’t with the person God ordained me to be with I put myself in that relationship not him. That is the answer!
Lord we pray. This Person marriage. We ask you to reveal to them. The truth. Which it’s only comes through you Jesus. We ask Lord that you protect them and they will finish well in this world. ❤✝️🙏
I divorced my ex husband before I became a Christian. I remarried after 8 years . Does that mean I've committed adultery? I feel God has forgiven me after many years of feeling guilty. We've been married now for almost 22 years.. I still wander in the back of my mind if I did the right thing by getting remarried? To be honest I'm not always 💯 sure. God bless you 🙏
You weren’t a believer then… how could you have known? God is Good and Fair. Your marriage now brings glory. We can always ask for forgiveness for our past but never dwell on the past. 😊
There must have been a reason or reasons why you divorced. Maybe you married for a worldly reason in the first place. So your marriage was never really blessed. I think if you feel you are ok with God, so accept it and let go after such a long time.
God is God of All whether pagan or a believer. As long as you married and you invited family. A covenant was made. Remarrying after the first marriage is a sin. That is why Paul said that if a married non believer leaves you because of Christ it’s ok and free to leave BUT you can stay with them as the marriage is VALID. (1 Corinthian 7). This shows that Christ blessed that Union even before salvation.
It is important to hold your spouse accountable for their actions! Forgivenes yes. The Lord holds us all accountable for our actions. We need to do the same!... with prayer as how to do so.
I was verbally abused and physically abused by a narcissist ex husband who put me through hell, I was raised catholic but he became catholic in order to marry. After 11 yrs of trauma & fearing I might end up dead I left. In 2015 I remarried a catholic man, but prior too, I had an annulment from ex husband and as well a divorce, I really believe that that first marriage had to happen as I was so traumatized by him. No couple should have to go through relationships like that.
I'm sorry to hear about the abuse you experienced in your marriage, however, I would like to share what the Bible says about marriage, divorce and remarriage. When a man and woman get married and it is the first marriage for both of them, then they are in a covenant marriage (Genesis 2:24). A covenant marriage can only be ended by the death of one of the spouses (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). When this occurs, the surviving spouse (widow or widower) is free to marry a never-married person or another surviving covenant spouse (widow or widower), which makes the new marriage a covenant marriage. So, if you are in a covenant marriage and you divorce your covenant husband/wife, you can not marry another man/woman as long as your covenant husband/wife is still alive. If you do, you will be committing adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3). No adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21). I have not found any provisions in the Bible for annulment of covenant marriages. If you can provide any, please do. Thank you.
Follow God's laws and stay in touch with him. Think of your partner as being a part of you. Do not criticize your spouse with others. You are a team with him/her, not with others. Speak kindly to your spouse, who is your closest family member. Never go to bed upset with each other. Learn to say Im sorry. You are not perfect, only God is.
Keep this simple and Biblical. If you do divorce or separate, It's a sin to remarry. Remarry is permitted only if your spouse dies. Romans 7:1-3, Mark 10:4-11
I divorced my husband because he committed adultry, thus casting adultry on me. I never had an affair or dated anyone outside the marriage. God permits that. Also, he wouldn't let me worship God. I left, and I'm sure the bible backs me up. Plus, he threatened to kill me. So I'm not a person to stay in a marriage like that and be killed. Who would have raised our son? He didn't pay child support, either. God allows divorce under those reasons. He would have been a horrible influence on our son. Now my son is 47 and married. He's a good person because he didn't have such a negative influence on him. And i am happily married to someone who loves me and respects me. My husband now has never threatened or hit me. I am blessed. I love my praying 🙏 husband.
If your first marriage was also your first husband's marriage, then you were in a covenant marriage with him. So, if your first husband is still alive, then you and your second husband are committing adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, and Romans 7:2-3). No adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God if they do not repent and forsake their adultery (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21). You are free to remarry only when your covenant spouse is dead (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). I hope this helps.
@godgavemeeyestosee you're wrong. You don't stay in an unsafe marriage when you have a child to support, and your husband said he would kill you. Sorry, but God wouldn't want anyone to stay in a marriage where your spouse threatened you.
@@fighterpilot247 I never said anyone should stay with a spouse where they may be abused or killed. Anyone in this situation needs to get to safety ASAP. I simply stated that the Bible teaches that divorce and remarriage is adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3). One can only remarry after the death of a covenant spouse (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39).
I am presently going through a divorce and I am struggling with such . I need counciling and encouragement I haven't seen my children over six years now it's killing me I prayed to God my creator about it but I need someone to talk to about it . It's more than I can bare I want yo live my life for god not for the devil, I want yo what pleases God.
May the Lord help you to find wise counsel that is rooted in the unadulterated word of God. In the meantime, seek the Lord with your whole heart. This means with everything within you and you will find Him. Ask Him to lead and guide you into all truth and to direct you in all you do. If you do this and trust Him, He will do it. Also, study your Bible daily and look for God to speak to you through His word. Be encouraged, you are not alone.
I divorced my husband. It was nearly a 20-year marriage. He abandoned the marriage by infidelity and adultery, cruel abuse in a loveless marriage, controlling behaviors by entrapment. I had to leave and divorce him due to his hidden homosexual activity. He was trying to kill me with his dangerous behavior and I was scared and intimidated. I did not feel safe, in living with him. I feel that our Heavenly Father allowed me to leave and divorce him. The Lord actually woke me up and told me what my husband was doing. Now I feel that I lost my husband to his sinful behavior. It was really a sad case. He misrepresented himself to me, as he said that he was a Christian believer.
I also really loved him. I tried to stay with him. Now, I need to be in recovery and make some attempt to forgive him on some level. He is really too old to change his narcissistic behavior and personality
He must have hated me, because I started to see fists. And that is not all, as he shoved me into his metal music stand, when I saw stars and heard bells from the hard hit to my head. I had a hard lump that I can still feel to this day. He had admitted that he was mad with me about something but would not be clear about. I think that he agreed that he was mad with me for accidently falling to sleep during our prayer time. But he had been putting me through many nights of "sleep deprivation" and I was so tired and sleepy after being awake for 20 hours.
This digital age that we live in is such a relationship destroyer. If at all possible avoid as much as possible. It is one of satans greatest marriage killers I do believe.
I have suffered 2 divorces. The first divorce really broke my heart. I didn't want a divorce but my x wife really got offended. I was wrong in several ways however I can honestly say that I never cheated on my x wife. I was willing to change however I couldn't find a Christian counselor who really knew how to help me. A good counselor will study carefully like a detective. Asking relevant questions that will uncover the root causes of what's happening. So my x wife took me through the divorce. She broke my heart. However the good news is that Jesus Christ healed my broken heart and Jesus healed my faith. His healing process took time. We cannot force God's grace or an answer to prayer. Hope is real. Study the principles of the Bible. That is the main key. Knowing the principles of scripture. Charles Stanley study Bible!! Really love it. Don't quit. Don't give up Hope. I know your pain and sorrow is real. But you can and will heal and change as you focus upon developing an intimate relationship with Jesus. God loves you ❤️
People will Do what ever they want for. Comfort. What they don’t understand is there is comfortable. solution in this world, we will continue to struggle until the end the Lord Jesus Christ did not come here to bring peace. He came here to bring salvation. Don't even think about divorce or adultery. It will only take you farther from the truth & salvation.
The New Testament is about mercy . . . God understands the needs and desires . . . He wants us to be happy too . . . He knows that everyone or most people desire to be loved . And again He lets us go through these experiences because there is something for us to learn about ourselves .
The gospel is not about us, it’s about us submitting to God. Mercy and Grace is about God giving His Son up for the forgiveness of our sins, not so we can put our feelings over His standards. At the end times their will be a great deception don’t deceive yourself to justify sin.
One of the major obstacles for Christian couples to overcome, which can ultimately lead to divorce, is the notion that their spouse is the enemy. Consequently, the focus shifts from the demonic towards each other, where their fixation centres upon taking advantage of their partner's flaws and weaknesses to have the upper hand. This often leads to false accusations, constant arguments, and a continual hardening of the heart that screams "divorce" at every turn, especially when they butt heads or give each other the cold shoulder. However, the real cause of their marital dysfunction is the continual neglect of the fundamental truth of scripture regarding love and marriage. This loophole is what the enemy exploits due to their stubbornness to not see things from God's perspective. Failure to recognise the importance of love and forgiveness will only serve to exacerbate the growing tension between them. If both parties can stop judging each other and begin to judge themselves in the light of God's Word, it will go a long way in resolving the rift between them and hopefully break down the invisible wall of division that keeps them apart. With that said, a conscious effort to make way for open communication that addresses the underlying issues that have been so long ignored is an absolute must, where each person takes responsibility for their part in undermining their relationship and setting about ways to rebuild their marriage, under the guidance of a counsellor.
I got divorced from my husband after 25 years of marriage. Since I became a christian, happening 1 year after that, I have regretted my decision of leaving my husband and family with 4 children. 😢
@@Blessed591 He is a covert narcissist. We had counseling for 1,5 years, but nothing ever changed. I don’t know how I would be now had I not left. Would I have come in contact with the person thanks to whom I got saved? I don’t know and I will have to make peace with where I am now, pretty peaceful thanks to my belief in Jesus Christ. But I keep thinking, had I been saved during my marriage, maybe things could have been healed?
@@Josefien59 @Josefien59 I was saved when I got married . . . It didn't matter how much I prayed fasted or cried , which I did through out the marriage . But God kept showing me this man cheating in my dreams . . . I dismissed them as insecurity on my part . . . He had hardened his heart . . . Eventually when the scales fell off my eyes , I saw him clearly for what he was . And God showed me to leave him otherwise I would be completely broken . God gave me the strength and provided everything I needed to leave . . . And showed me where to go . . . So I left and have been in isolation since then . I am healing . The biggest thing that has happened is that God has brought me back into the fold . I have developed an intimate relationship with God and would not want to go back to my spouse because living with him was forcing me to compromise my faithfulness to God in the sense that trying to change this guy and keep the marriage together had become my religion . . . an idol . Since I left God has been pointing me to Himself and I understand what that means . That's it's only God who can love me and provide for me in the way that I need . . He knows that I know that He has my back . No turning back ever.
I think the bible don't teach remarry when one of the person commit adultery,the bible say you can divorce in case of adultery, for those who believe in God or for the christian is until death separation,that's why the bible speaking about reconcilation forgivness, Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22.
minute 20:04 (on the 4 valid reasons to remarry) seems to be a contradiction on the first 2, the 2nd reason seems to contradict the first one because it states that death dissolves the marriage covenant, not divorce...
12.5 years ago I had a short lived marriage that was for less than 6 months (a joke )he was paranoid I was cheeting controlling physically abusive and pretended to be a believer of God prior to marriage , I was literally able to run away (not the first time) and get to safety ,God saved my life from that experience 100 percent. I learned so many lessons in the experience , God is a true discerner of our hearts and if we come to him when in great need he will give you a open door or literally in my case an open window to escape.
In Matthew...Jesus was questioned by the hypocrites about divorce. Jesus made it crystal clear that it was Moses who permitted divorce because of the hardness of their hearts, not God. People assume that God allowed divorce under certain circumstances? Oh sure, you can divorce, but cannot remarry while your spouse is still alive? So the options were to either reconcile with your spouse or wait until a death occurs to remarry? It is stated that close to 80% of divorces today are initiated by women? Their reason? "I am bored, not happy..." My parents have been married for 67 years. They are the best teachers because they have skin in the game. They know what it takes and I have watched them throughout the years. I tell them they are the last of the dinosaurs.😄
I once read a word given by God to a prophet - unfortunately l am not quite sure which one - but it was a trustworthy prophet. God said that marriages for money, prestige, beauty and other worldly reasons are not valid before Him and so they are free to separate. I think many, if not the majority of marriages today belong to this category. After 42 years my wife divorced me. Reflecting on our marriage l have a feeling that she never truly loved me but were living a lie. I married again and l feel that the new wife was really given to me by God. So for me the situation is fine and l see no problem between me and God.
I stayed married to my husband 27 years but his mental condition caused great damage to my children. My older son at 20 years of age, said mum you had had the 'nouce' to leave and you didn't. We children suffered along with you. Now I have to see a psychologist to help me out of problems from being raised in such a family.
God doesn’t expect you to live in a marriage of abuse. Some believe divorce and remarriage is a sin. Well, Jesus came to take away all sins. Grace is greater than all sin. For people to live with feeling guilty all the time of their life, what good for the kingdom of God is that! Abuse should not be tolerated. God forgives, for give others and forgive yourself. Number one lesson learned is marry someone who puts God first above all else. I have enjoyed your videos but this one I think needs rethinking!
So you are calling Jesus a liar. He said it is adultery to remarry with a spouse still alive (Luke 16:18). Grace does not cover sin. Any Christian who murders a person can not cover their sin and get away with it and the same goes foe adultery.
There is no such thing taught in the New Testament like remarriage after divorce and not a single "exception clause" can be found by any sincere and honest Bible reader. Matthew 19:9 "And I Yeshua say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for (previous) sexual immorality, and MARRIES ANOTHER, COMMITS ADULTERY and whoever marries her WHO IS DIVORCED COMMITS ADULTERY." Divorcees who try to theologically justify their remarriage are twisting the text of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7: 11-15: "But even if the wife does depart, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED or be reconciled to her husband, and a husband is not to divorce his wife... 7:15: If the unbeliever departs, let him depart, a brother or a sister IS NOT IN BONDAGE in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know O wife whether you will save your husband, or how do you know O husband whether you will save your wife?" Whoever wants to misinterpret vers 15 saying that "being not in bondage " are 4 words that allow the innocent part of the couple to look for a new partner and for remarriage, will be severely corrected by Paul in vers 11 (let her/him REMAIN unmarried) and by Yeshua in: Matthew 5:31-32 ""Furthermore it has been said, 'whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce', but I Yeshua say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason , except sexual immorality (after she already committed adultery beforehand) CAUSES HER TO COMMIT ADULTERY; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" These 3 passages don't need explaining as much as they need believing! In the eyes of Yeshua the ungodly act of simply leaving his/her partner alone, is already exposing him/her to search a new partner and consequently put him/her in danger to BECOME AN ADULTERER (please underline that Yeshua says here "ADULTERER" and by using that word he never meant "an innocent and abandoned believer, legitimately allowed by me Yeshua, to remarry" !) Among all the evangelical church shepherds that I heard teaching on divorce and remarriage, about 80 percent allow this exception clause advocating for a blessed church remarriage, speculating on Paul's words "the sister is not in bondage". On the other hand, in an very hypocritical way, those same church pastors preach outloud against "LGBTQ - sinners", while protecting, blessing and remarying "adulterer-sinners" who would have been punished by death in the days of Moses because of the law "you shall not commit adultery!" One among those pastors is Dani Sayag (july 1st 2017) in: ua-cam.com/video/gtpfYhFpMwE/v-deo.htmlsi=i7q71EoeWb4DAAc8 Those shepherds should publicly and humbly repent on the same social media where they deceived thousands , if they want to escape the divine curse mentioned in Revelation 22:18 that will fall on all false teachers who add non existing "exception clauses" to Scripture. (included in this group are John Mcarthur, Billy Graham, Dr. Michael Brown (askdrbrown), Vlad Shavshuk, Chuck Smith, David Wilkerson, Jack Hibbs, with many other evangelical top-theologians) Is remarriage after divorce allowed by God Creator? According the holy scriptures: No! And Doctor David Pawson perfectly explained WHY NOT: ua-cam.com/video/SpKNBw4j_6o/v-deo.html "Those who have got ears to hear, let them listen!"
Spousal abuse is a form of abandonment. True believers in Christ would never abuse their spouse. If a person proclaims Jesus as Lord, yet continues to abuse their spouse, they are unbelievers in God's eyes. Thus, God permits divorce because the unbeliever has already initiated the divorce by choosing to continue the abuse (choosing to continue to abandon their spouse). The believing spouse is then allowed to get a divorce certificate simply to record and document on paper the divorce already initiated by the unbeliever. Jesus protects those who are His and would never want his children to stay in unholy relationships. This is why He warned us: "Do not give what is holy to dogs. Do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6 NASB Marriage is a Holy relationship created and defined by God, ruled by Him for His glory. God hates divorce because it means someone (or both) has deviated from His perfect will and His authority for what He intended for marriage.
1. Malachi 2:16 in the original language DOES NOT SAY God hates divorce. It says, "He who hates and divorces his wife, covers his garments with violence." 2. If a spouse commits adultery, the adulterer broke the covenant of marriage, which means there is now no covenant. 3. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation and restoration. As believers we must forgive, that's a given. But whether or not these two can build trust again is a whole different thing. 4. Psychologists are reporting that by the time a wife discovers her husband's adultery, it is usually his 4th or 5th affair, so he is a serial adulterer. 5. Most people who commit adultery do it because they love it - it is an act of the will and never an accident. 6. Divorce is never an easy answer. It is something that is agonized over and only sought when it is realized the offending spouse is not truly repentant, but they only apologized because they got caught. 7. Adultery IS ABANDONMENT of a spouse. 8. Most divorces occur due to very egregious reasons.
Though you don’t believe divorce is the unpardonable sin still it is always treated that way unless adultry is involved. “Hardening the heart needs to be explored more fully.
Look at all the biblical scholars here. WOW. Incredible. You should all have Masters degrees in Bible. Remember one thing when it comes to context. Jesus was speaking prior to the cross under law. He himself was under law. No mention of Paul’s teaching about due benevolence. The only time to abstain from sex is prayer and fasting so that you don’t cause temptation producing sin. Whose fault is the adultery then. You can’t just pick verses and contextualize them to your benefit. The cross did something. The blood did something. Focus there
I think it's possible to emotionally abandon a relationship without physically leaving the home. Just like we would say it's considered cheating if you have an online relationship. Even though only the emotional took place and not the physical, it's still cheating. So too with abandonment.
Don't twist the scripture. You can divorce on the ground of adultery but you should not remarry as long as your partner is still alive. You both can reconcile. As for what Paul said, he never mentioned divorce but rather seperation. Let's not twist the scripture to fit into our corrupt lifestyle. God's word will never change, never never change.
Henry you need to show you’re just making statements..your comment was: you can divorce but you not remarry as long as your partner is still alive..what scripture teaches this rightly divided? The Bible saids: to prove all things hold fast that which is good 1st Thess 5:21.. what scripture Henry teache your initial statement.. Your next point again what scripture teaches what you’re saying? Here’s your statement: For what Paul said he never mention divorce but rather separate..what scripture teaches this? Hope to hear back from you
It may sound harsh, but the truth is that the Lord spoke clearly on these topics and never leaves room for a divorced person to remarry another while the original spouse still lives. One must remain faithful and single otherwise be reconciled. A remarriage after divorce is always adultery, for either party, even in the case of sexual immorality and abandonment. A more careful and unbiased reading of the scriptures will make this truth plain to anyone. Also, a reading of the early church elders will confirm the truth as well. Avoid adultery at all costs, and if you're already mixed up in it then repent while you still can. Be strong and courageous. God bless.
my wife left me while I was at work. I came home and it was empty. She took 5 kids and left me the bills. I have tried to fix it for three months. She has not even tried to help fix it. She has alienated my kids and convinced them that I am a bad parent. None of them are reaching out to me. Literally have been kicked to the curb. Worst like Job, my family and friends all say I am at fault because I’m not nice. I say “I would never rob a parent from their kids without it being abuse or criminal activity. They all say “Well you must have done something, she wouldn’t have done that for no reason “
The woman at the well was clearly unsaved and the purpose for Jesus talking to her was to bring her salvation. You have to catch a fish before you can clean it.
I married my first husband for the wrong reasons but I stayed in the marriage and worked on the marriage for 14 years. He was verbally and financially abusive. He made all decisions without considering my input. He refused to go to church, but I managed to get him to come to a marriage seminar at my church. He was moody and rude the entire time. By this point, I felt no desire to stay. My second husband abandoned me saying we were not supposed to be married because he was still bound by God’s covenant to his first wife. He came back three years later claiming a different opinion. He was verbally and financially abusive and two years later, we are getting divorced and I am homeless.
When a man and woman get married and it is the first marriage for both of them, then they are in a covenant marriage (Genesis 2:24). A covenant marriage can only be ended by the death of one of the spouses (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). When this occurs, the surviving spouse (widow or widower) is free to marry a never-married person or another surviving covenant spouse (widow or widower), which makes the new marriage a covenant marriage. So, if you are in a covenant marriage and you divorce your covenant husband/wife, you can not marry another man/woman as long as your covenant husband/wife is still alive. If you do, you will be committing adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3). No adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21). Also, none of the other wives in the polygamous marriage are considered wives in God's eyes. Only the first wife is the "real" in God's eyes because she is the covenant wife. We are under the New Testament, and God is no longer winking at polygamous marriages that were practiced under the Old Testament. Read Matthew 19:4-6 and Mark 10:6-9 where Jesus restored marriage back to God's original design, and Acts 17:30 which says that God no longer winks at sin. Polygamous marriages are sinful for the husband and his second, third, etc wives because they are committing adultery. I hope this helps.😮
"One marriage at a time; if our spouse dies, we are allowed to remarry. If you are a Christian, you should only marry another Christian. If you have a problem with this, take it up with Jesus and the Apostle Paul! This is their teaching, not mine!"
I just have to say that it is not always so cut and dry or black and white. When narcissistic abuse is in the mix, you really need to just leave if at all possible. For me, it was not possible, but pretty soon it will be, however since I don't believe in divorce, I will give this person one more chance to repent, but I don't have high hopes at all and I'm prepared to live alone which doesn't really look bad to me anymore. Trust me after going through what I did, living alone sounds great!
Hi. In my case, my unbelieving spouse demanded me to go away. I didn't want to. I read everything in the Bible and concluded that, if she demands me to go, while stating we hate eachother, and stating that we will kill eachother, I left. What is your opinion? Cause from the outside, i left. But she demanded it. Is marriage also respecting that wish?
1 Corinthians 7:10-16 10 ¶ But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife is not to leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband is not to fndivorce his wife. 12 ¶ But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not fndivorce her. 13 And fnif any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not fndivorce her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through fnher believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, fnlet him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called fnus in peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
@parinazaz4044 Did you read the story of the women who had 4 husband's? Keep in mind she could not ask for a divorce so the husband's she had had divorced her. Read why Moses told them they could divorce their wives with a letter to the priest. The pharicees asked him about that and what he told them was. Because of your cold hearts. Go back to rhe beginning of the bible where God laid out what he wanted. And that was people without cold hearts but of flesh. It's not a wonder the laws were written on stone. Also God himself declares a divorce from his own people. So before you go and try to make people follow laws that only brought death. Realize we were redeemed from the curse of the law.
Here it is: Unless one divorces for reasons Other Than sexual immorality, it is not a Biblical grounds For divorce. IF one partner commits Any type of sexual immorality, it is essentially giving the other partner permission to Remarry without committing adultery. If one even divorces for reasons of 'just not getting along' or incompatibility, that is not Biblical grounds for divorce. If one is being abused, leave, pray they get help. We are not punching bags. But still there is no verse that allows divorce for reasons of abuse. However, being in an abusive situation myself, more often than not, sexual immorality can go along with it. Sexual immorality is common, sadly. Also, a woman is not to divorce a man. I did and paid very heavy financial consequences. Hard to hear but truth.
So a woman cannot divorce a man because she is a woman? What? But a man can because he is a man? Make your statement make sence. IF someone is abusive and refuses to get help and deliverance they are narccissts and dangerous. IF you are with a narccisst you are with the devil. That is never the will of God for his children. God is mot abusive to tell his daughters to stay in toxic abusive marriages.
I left and it turned out to be better for me & my children mentally, physically, and spiritually, financially. Wow I'm thinking of all those biblical people we look up to, the patriarchs who were living in sin. Men with multiple wives, so many like Abraham who sent away Hagar, Jacob with both Rachel & Leah. Esther who the king took as a wife after he sent Vashti away for wrong reasons. David (a man after God's own heart), Solomon, Hosea, woman caught in adultery who Jesus didn't condemn, woman at the well who became essentially the 1st evangelist, so many more examples...what about them? 🔥
Jesus mentioned that a woman can divorce her husband: Mark 10:12 (KJV) And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
@@Jer20.9 so I suppose I lived in adultery in God's eyes for 30 years with a man who didn't physically abuse me, ridicule me, mentally manipulate me, but who treated my children well & made sure our needs were met and that we were loved & cared about. I guess I'm okay now since he's now dead & I'm alone 😔 Two are better than one...Ecclesiastes 4:9 so now I can never have better again because of my 1st husbands sinful ways. What a wonderful & loving God to treat a faithful, serving daughter that way. 😢 Jesus paid our sin debt. I didn't realize I had to suffer struggling alone for decades because of my 1st husbands sins for the rest of my life as well. 🤦♀️ seriously!?
I have divorced and remarried out of ignorance and hard hearted. God forgives you for every sin with the exception of blasphemy. So, for us who have remarried and truly repented, God will forgive us. Will there be consequences, of course. But, moving forward, live a life that’s pleasing unto the Lord.
Thank you for this response Sheila. I have struggled so much with this topic. I was married for 20 years and then divorced a drug addicted, gambling addict. I am now happily remarried to a new man for 8 years now. I always worry if I’m living in perpetual adultery and will go to hell or not be taken in the rapture. Your answer gave me some comfort. Thank you.
@@elliewilson2529 Ellie - Don’t feel alone. When I really matured in God, I to struggled with this remarriage matter and how different pastors view this topic. Remarrying is a sin (it’s adultery). But remember what God told the woman who was caught in adultery? He said, “Go, and sin no more.” Therefore, we don’t continue to commit that same since once we’ve truly repented. I remarried and it’s been 7 years…it was not the greatest experience of my life because I had to reap some stuff. But, thank God for His grace and mercy. I’m hanging in there and trusting God along the way. Stay blessed and keep the faith in our God.
@@sheilariley9962 This is the best supportive answer people do not know the ends and outs of a person's life. We have to show mercy and grace not condoning any sin but rather going to God in prayer to help each other in the body of Christ.
You ARE living in continuous adultery unless you confess your adultery to God and forsake the adultery. Repenting of sin always includes forsaking the sin. Don't fool yourself. "He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy (Proverbs 28:13 NKJV)."
"For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; (Titus 2:11-12 KJV)" I agree that we should show love and grace to one another, but we also must tell the truth that to remarry after divorcing a covenant spouse is to commit adultery and that to be forgiven for any sin, including the sin of adultery, you have to forsake the sin. You cannot stay in an adulterous marriage and think that God has forgiven you for adultery. Grace teaches us to deny sin, in this case adultery, not stay in it. Please obey the word of God.
My father was a compulsive liar, compulsive thief, obsessive compulsive hoarder, he beat me in the head when I was 5 years old, physically abusive, he cheat on my mother. But my mother never divorced him, she enabled him, she said "God hates divorce." They constantly fought. It was wrong for my mother to expose her children to his abuse and constantly justify and enable him.
Abuse is grounds for separation, but not divorce. Scripture is quite clear about the narrow grounds for divorce. In cases like your parents, the separation should have been used to resolve their problems so that the marriage could be restored according to God's design.
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Thank you I have been praying about these things to gain understanding and knowledge I am praying FOR my husband,he abandoned me
I don't know what he believes I am standing firm on Jesus Christ
I'm refusing divorce but ttttt I am praying FOR God's will for me and my husband ‼️
Hate the sin and love the sinner and I do ‼️🤚🏿👌🏿
Please pray for me and my husband
My wife and I divorced in 2018. I did not want to divorce but she was dead set on it after years of health problems. It was a struggle and after hitting rock bottom we began to eventually grow closer to each other. In 2020, we remarried. I think this is possible for other people, not for everyone, but certainly for more people than try it. Both people need to be willing to humble themselves, realize they are on the same team, and care for the other. My heart goes out to anyone struggling with divorce and I pray they receive the same miracle I did in the opportunity to remarry my ex-wife.
She told me after 16 years she loves me but not in love with me. I’m crushed. It’s been almost a year and this coming week our house will be sold and we’ll be on our on ways co-parenting 😞
@@mikehufnagl8696awful.feel for you. Stay well
@@mikehufnagl8696pray! 8 years ago my husband kicked me out of our home of 30 years. I shut myself in with God, and rejected all counsel from well meaning saints. I didn’t know what the outcome would bring, but clung to our Lord. Let’s fast forward this story. He returned to his senses, I moved back home. He remained in his sin, but I was home. He became very ill, and is now in a wheelchair, with too many infirmities to write. I am his sole caregiver. All those purveyors of division are gone. Now the hard task of caring for him lies ahead of this aging body, but I would rather the labor than the loss! Pray, fast, fight!
More needs to be said about narcissistic abuse. It slowly kills. A spouse with a narcissistic spirit is mentally ill and does not stop until the other person is destroyed. Everything about them is a lie, and was a lie from the start. You have no idea what you are caught up in until it’s too late. It doesn’t matter if you pray or cry; plead or fight. The narcissist has complete power over you, so your struggle to live won’t be done until you are done, and only scraps of your self remain. In 2012, after thirty years of marriage, and six children, God gave me the courage to drive away from my abusive spouse with my sick, elderly mother and youngest son who was fourteen. The three of us were terrified. The police were involved and I had to cut contact with my spouse. Almighty God took care of us and led the way. It took four years to muster the courage to divorce. Now, at 65, after twelve years alone, God is giving me strength to seek an annulment. I know it’s not what God wanted for me, but I desperately need His peace and closure. I am praying that His will be done, whatever that may be.
Dont give up. Anything can happen with our God.@@mikehufnagl8696
I have been married 47 years and could have left many times, but God has always encouraged me to love my wife regardless. I can truly say I am blessed!
I was married to an extremely abusive pastor 29 years and left penniless he had affairs and lied so I was labeled unredeemable because he found a wealthy woman to advance his ministry
Been single many years prayers appreciated
Your much better off without this man, and if he was doing those evil things, his ministry is truly not of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ!
It is a terrible thing to fall into the Hands of an angry God. God will restore you and execute His Judgement with speed and finality.. Hang in there God is not asleep... Stay connected to The Lord He will restore you... Try to move on... Its not worth while stagnating... Move all be it 1 inch a day.. But try to move on and try not cry any more, he is not worth you shedding 1 more tear. Your heart will thank you.
God will repay. Vengeance is His..Stay close to The Lord..🙏💖
@@karenlynnhurt6408 Amen... And so it shall be
Sounds like a Narcissist Pastor! They're out there! Praying for you! ❤
If one hasnt been abused by a narcissist they would not really understand what it feels like to be stuck in that toxic space .And forgiving does not mean getting back into the same unhealthy space or relationship . I almost went sick and almost insane from trying to hold onto a dysfunctional marriage !It wss so bad that my own sons told me to leave .. . I had insomnia gor 4 years. For me forgiveness means letting them go and letting God . . . We also have to remember that the enemy had his agents out there . . . For me , God looks at our hearts , He feels our pain . . . Sticking in a dysfunctional marriage is actually bondage and can totally ruin ones life and prevent them from achieving their purpose in life . . . For ss long as one spouse is lost in sin , God does not bless the marriage . . . And many times , the victim takes on the role of trying to change their spouse which should not be . Only God changes people . . . I decided to get out of God's way and let Him deal with my spouse . Bottom line , our focus has to be on God and not on our spouses .
Amen! I totally understand what you're saying. Been there.
I could not agree with this more!
Narcissists are "wolves in sheep's clothing". It was 40 years for me and I got to the point that I lost my will to live. It was actually God, speaking through the Holy Spirit that told me "enough, walk away, get out". I truly believe that. I also believe God wants us to have a happy, peaceful existence which enables us to focus on our relationship with Him, and if you are in an abusive relationship there is only a focus on that dysfunctional dynamic and the abusive behavior that is stealing your sound mind. God loves us and wants the best for us. Narcissists or any abuser really is only going to take your peace and sound mind, which distances you from your relationship with God, and in my opinion, can even open the door to dark forces.
Since I left and divorced, I have never felt such peace and closeness to our Lord. Not ever. I honestly believe He is the one that broke the trauma bond because I certainly couldn't do it with my own human capabilities, and Satan only wanted to keep it intact. I wholeheartedly believe ongoing abuse, and I'm not talking just physical, because I was never physically battered, is a biblical reason for divorce.
I can relate, not a marriage but a false friend. A narcissist, slandering violent wolf who not only worked to destroy me behind my back by belittling me but tried to make me mentally ill that he succeeded with many others, but I with the Lord God's WILL overcome him, told the truth that he was a destroyer of people's lifes and shut him out my life forever.
These are toxic vessels of Satan sent to lower ones spiritual vibrations so there soul can be devoured.
He was a tight , selfish stingy git but would take the shirt of your back if he could and wanted everyone to serve him, over took your home, eat all the food and never offered you any help in anyway inc financially, even though you were struggling and also he sold drugs ,claimed benefit and had a 5 day job.
Iv been free of these toxic people for a decade and I found myself again and more importantly... I found a loving relationship and with God, Father and Son and there beautiful holy spirit 🙏✝️
@@Blessed591 I hear you. I also commented on this site and some folks I guess thinks abuse should be tolerated. May God set you free, provide for what you need in Jesus name. ✝️🙏
I had to remind myself daily, it's not about me.
🙏🏻✝️
Lord have mercy on me a sinner..
John 8:11 Jesus told the woman caught in the act of adultery to go and sin no more. I think its still good advice.
Amen
May the Father bless, and keep you as you follow him.
Thank you. Busy reading Spurgeons Sermons on Titus. Grace, Peace and Mercy on your house.
Father restore my marriage relationship with an adulterous husband. I know he is making my life as miserable as he can, to justify the fact that he has found another woman to take my place, and does not want to acknowledge his infidelity as the reason to separate. I am in despair, as living with his lies is driving me crazy. I pray for God’s guidance. Jesus come to my aid, Amen
I am in the same boat. I am praying for you my sister in Christ. Do not bend. Rely on Jesus in this time and be a faithful wife for GODS GLORY. Not because your husband deserves it. Bless you ❤
@@chrissy9876Thank you. I often have doubts about this whole marriage thing; we’ve been married for 43+ years. Go figure!
@christinereilly8829 remember adultery was the only reason one could divorce back then.
It's a trust issue that is broken and a Jewish man in the comments told me that in their understanding of marriage is they are allies. Think about that
The bible talks about how two cannot walk together unless they agree. And it's good to go in pairs because the two can pick each other up.
So if you decide to call it quits have no remorse.
@@christinereilly8829my 15 year anniversary is on Saturday. My husband is currently living with his mom and separated from me and our 3 children who are 13, 14, and 18. I realize we have almost the same name. I’m Christina. I’m praying for you and your husband and marriage. ❤
Spiritually when 2 people have sex, there is a spiritual exchange that happens in the soul. Literally your roaming Husband is mixing with the spiritual of the other women. Which give the legal right for every one of their demons to take up resident in him. Your feelings of despair and feeling crazy could be coming from those encounters. You are in no way required to stay in that relationship. Walk away and get healed in Jesus so you can forgive him. Put it all in God's hands. You not under any religious law to stay with an adulterous man.
My wife and I divorced a couple of months ago. I did not want to get divorced. I pray that God rekindles my marriage in Jesus mighty name.
I am ready to lead my family following Jesus like never before. Pray for me believers of Christ!!
God's will is also for a man to respect his wife. Violence is a big no no. God will pardon me for leaving. I did not re marry and don't want to.
1 Cor 7 v10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
This is my 2nd marriage. I married my present wife when we were both 56 yrs old. Now we have become a statistic because this our 8th year and she told me she's DONE! I realize that there is some hardening of hearts be it hers or mine but, the thing is I don't want to end it. My losing my leg above the knee has weighed on my mind to such a degree that forgot to look to the hills from which cometh my health and it has fi ally come to a head. I've been praying for God to change me and restore this union. It's just so much sometimes I don't know where to start. Pray for my wife and I that the Creator of the universe who can restore or resurrect anything will speak a word into this tomb that we've found ourselves in and alow us to walk out together as one.
Heavenly Father Intervene in this union, restore their love ❤️ for each other in Jesus Mighty Name Amen
What happened to the first wife since this is your 2nd? That info is important as we pray for you
Amen!@@healthylifewithchristie9620
When a man and woman get married and it is the first marriage for both of them, then they are in a covenant marriage (Genesis 2:24). A covenant marriage can only be ended by the death of one of the spouses (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). When this occurs, the surviving spouse (widow or widower) is free to marry a never-married person or another surviving covenant spouse (widow or widower), which makes the new marriage a covenant marriage.
So, if you are in a covenant marriage and you divorce your covenant husband/wife, you can not marry another man/woman as long as your covenant husband/wife is still alive. If you do, you will be committing adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3). No adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21).
So, if your second marriage is a marriage that Jesus calls adultery, believers cannot pray that God restores such a marriage. Believers can pray that God restores a covenant marriage. In order to pray in accordance with the scriptures, believers need to know if your first marriage is a covenant marriage.
@@billyford7853 I was married to a non-believer who abandoned me and left the home for almost a year. I heard/ read someone talk about the Apostle Paul referencing the abandonedment of a believer by a non-believer is another instance like adultery that can end a marriage. Any insight on that?
I had been married for over 26 years and my ex had divorced me I never cheated on her, but she did me!! Since 2011, I had gone through an emotional roller coaster and within a few years ago, I look back now and realize what has taken place within my life there’s a reason for everything!! I turned my back on GOD before the marriage, but have turn back to GOD. I live alone and see that the Holy Spirit is always there so I’m never alone spiritually. The problem I see is man has taken GOD out of the families, schools and churches. I could have gotten remarried and the Spirit had warned me, do not for I see it to be adultery and will not!!
I know that God did not want me to continue bring in a marriage with a narcissist . I was tormented, and abused for 22 years . . . My children grew up in a toxic environment. . . And its like all doors and windows of opportunity were closed fir as long as I was in that marriage . . . The minute I left , doors opened up for mysel and sons . And irinically my spouse used that very verse of " God hates divorce " to try and keep me in the abusive marriage . . .
Just shy of 20 years for me in same dynamic. It crossed into his physical abuse of me. Narcissists have a hardness of heart as Moses described. They have no Ability to Love. They have such low self worth but make up grandiosity in themselves.
It’s exhausting!
I had same situation and had to leave I was married to a Narcissist and tried everything I could to work it out but anywhere I turn whether for counseling or anything else the door was always closed. I left the marriage even though I was new Christian at the time and didn’t know scripture. I didn’t know the implications but I’m wondering 💭 I’ve been single for many years now does that mean I can’t get remarried even though I was abused, neglected unloved. This is a very hard teaching. I got in a relationship at 18 from high school got divorced at 27 and now in my fourtys I feel lonely now and wondering should I have stayed in an abusive relationship instead, that just don’t seem right. You get punished for someone who doesn’t love you yet you have to stay or get the consequences of being g alone and single since you can’t marry anymore is this correct?
@@lemerry231Incorrect.
Although some say different.
@@lemerry231…. the situation really depends on when you became a Christian. If it was after the divorce then scripture would seem to say it’s ok to remarry…since your belief in Gods laws only began after you divorced.
@@lemerry231Bible says if a man puts his wife away she is free to remarry. Your husband did that by abusing you.
This has brought me so much comfort🥹. I married my grade 7 sweetheart & after 20 years together he left our daughters & I. He did not LOVE me any more & was out of control gambling, stealing drinking. We lost everything but I still loved him & tried to work it out, he wouldn’t!!! I know I wasn’t perfect in our marriage always wanted to work it out… My family is super religious & does not like or respect me & my new husband bc I got divorced💔
I will always fight for my family & never abandon them, they are a part of me🥰
I am no longer filled with guilt & shame, my daughters have the worlds bestest stepdad & we welcomed a beautiful boy to our loving family🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
Wonderful, so there is hope for real and honest love.
According to Mark 10:11-12, Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39, you are committing adultery if your first husband is still alive. You can not marry another as long as your first husband is still alive because only death ends a covenant marriage. Because you are happy with your second husband, and he treats your daughters well, your marriage is still sinful before God. If you love the Lord, you will keep His commandments.
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery." Luke 16:18
"A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." 1. Corinthians 7:39
"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife." 1. Corinthians 7:10-11
In some circumstances, separation may be unavoidable. But I can only see remarriage in the Bible if the spouse has died. Anything else would be adultery before God and is quite simply a serious matter.
Rom.7:10-16 read slowly and carefully; pray for understanding
Romans 8:4-8
Reading these comments and listening to this. I have never been married and it is very clear in the Bible and what God has created in marriage. Prayers for all here who have suffered with divorce and pain and suffering.
I have stayed away from marriage because most don't understand God's word on marriage.
I got a divorce stating irreconcilable differences. The truth is he was abusive and unfaithful for the 261/2 years of the 27 years of our marriage. He never took responsibility and lied to our children about his adultery.
Same situation for me as well🙏
I read the other day, God commanded those married to heathens to divorce and send the wives and the children back their people. I believe there are reason for divorce. @@KathiOsborn
After you do all that you can, just stand!
In many US states, adultery is not an option for divorce. They don't care why. You just file. The statistics mentioned in the video are definitely skewed because of that.
It was not the churches fault. He was raised to have his desires paramount and the heck with the wife, and she is his possession.
Thank you. This is the clearest teaching I have heard on divorce. Thank you for not saying abuse is a valid reason for divorce as so many others do. Though I hate to hear of genuine abuse in marriage, the Bible only allows for separation in such cases. It's about the importance of the covenant in God's eyes, which is a symbol of Jesus's union with the church. Thank you for courageous, biblical teaching.
The Catholic faith has always taught correctly.
Do you have any idea of the effects of narcissistic abuse? Not only on wives, children and pets but also indirect family members and neighbours. Sometimes people don't realise what they are saying. Be blessed with wisdom, discernment and kindness.
@@colettenelhulett2042 Yes, I am a victim. I'll add my story later.
My wife of 25 years was a narcissist. She had at least one affair, blamed me, applied for a divorce, called the police to have me removed from the house because "she didn't want me there anymore" (no accusation of violence, verbal or emotional abuse etc.), failed to convince them so left with my young teenage children. That was four years ago and I haven't seen her or my girls since.
The courts won't listen because my girls are old enough to make their own minds up. However, my now ex wife has turned them against their loving father so that I receive no acknowledgement to any contact. I have suffered in a way I would never have thought possible and cannot explain: one week I'm the happiest man alive, 5 weeks later I lose the woman and children I loved with all my heart, I am forced from my home by a court order and have to sofa surf for a few months. So why do I say what I've said? Because I believe in God's ways. I fully forgive my wife, not only because God tells me to, but the Spirit reminds me my wife was badly sexually abused as a child and never dealt with it. Hurt people hurt people.
After listening to the previous teaching on narcissistic spirit after 37 years of marriage, I had to leave an abusive relationship to be safe. Sometimes one person can take their vows seriously and the other does not and it is not up to one person to hold a marriage together. It takes two to make a marriage and only one to break it.
There are situations why people divorce, my friend found her husband married her under false pretences. He was homosexual. A person can't stay in that kind of marriage.
Then he had to have been a "Narcissist". The covert-type. Hiding their true self. This is what I experience with my ex-husband. Just awful!!! Hope that she was able to recover.
Thank you for preaching the truth about divorce, God bless you 🙏
What marriage with a narcissist is when he betrays and on top of that he inflicts pain on the wife
That covenant is broken
Can somebody build on broken foundation if you try it will fall again, if you misuse the appliance you loose warranty
I tried and I forgive my husband all my life he never care
He never learn the goodness of god
Now in 63 I’m trying to figure out how to get away from him because it’s nothing that comes out of his mouth other than lies
Do we have to ignore evil ?
Never ignore evil- take up your sword of the spirit and fight it with the word of God. You are in a spiritual battle and Jesus has paid the price for you to have power over all the enemy. Luke 10:19
@@Chateautea thank you
Marriage should be two people loving each other and working together
Not fighting or betraying hurting the person next to you that you suppose to love
I fought against my husband all my life
For 40 years I wanted to leave him but I decided to pray
I prayed every night for two weeks and I had a dream based on the dream I didn’t live him now after 40 years the dream has been fulfilled
God was helping me all my life and I overcame evil with God help I would not be able to to do it on my own. I was able to provide with God help for my family raised 7 awesome children none of them are like him
God is good
Flee from evil.
I'm also with a narcissistic husband,and I'm also 63 yrs old.i'm seeing a counselor right now.shrs helping me through this.otsakinhe stronger to make the best move,and that is to move on to a better life.I'll pray for you! don't give up!
In Biblical times, some, men not wanting to pay out the wife according to the law, ( 2yrs of income) would merely send her back to her family. "Put her away" is the term not divorce and give her back her freedom. Meaning she was still a married woman and could not remarry. Through the years things get lost in translation. Has anyone managed to change a narcissist into a Godly man? This is an honest question. Unless you were married to one, you would not know the depth of that evil.
I am married to a drug addict who refuses to admit she has a problem and brings hardcore drugs into our home with children in the home. I have asked her to leave until she can get clean? I am in a constant struggle if I’m doing the right or wrong thing in this situation???? Prayers please
Prayers ascending for you, brother...
So sorry for what you and your family are going through, sending prayers🙏
You can separate or divorce but you are to remain single and keep praying for your spouse , Jesus can save them and restore them. 1 Cor 7:10-11.
Yes, have her leave. I made my husband leave. It’s better for the children to have a peaceful home. If you don’t want to divorce her then don’t.
Prayers for you, do what’s best for your children and then pray yourself daily.
Yes it is but blessed be the lord God who takes away the sins of the world.
Often the problem lies in one who truly won't repent.
I went through a divorce nine years ago and have not recovered. It was one of the most horrible experience for my soul. But my children are forever scarred.
hmmm 9 years ago ? I can relate. The time down that is. Every time I would bemoan the causes about "the other person", a dear friend said to me on two different occasions that "my face and voice would change......that it was not me" That was all. I was living in a self made prison of hate and unforgiveness off and on for nearly 10 years. One day , on a trip to the coast, I listened to a series from Charles Stanley on ''anger', and unforgiveness. God spoke gently to my heart .....''it is time to forgive". The hate and unforgiveness was not against my ex wife, it was against the person that spread allegations, innuendos and lies about me .......He was one slick orator to convince her of these things. All her co workers saw through this guy, and tried to get her to see .the narcissistic psyc control that this person had on her. Two counselors , and her long time friends could not reach her....... You see , "the other person" was her ex from long ago ........After the divorce, albeit too late for reconciling, she woke up . The damage was done. I lost what I thought was a life time friend ....... also, a few years after she left, she died of a brain aneurysm ..........God does not guarantee Life without heartache , He does teach us He is always there to walk with us through these things, .....and He surely did with me. Forgiving this late in life for me was not easy....it was a few weeks of faith and prayer for the Holy Spirit to work in my heart . 18 years have passed, and I am nearing 79. my singleness has been mixed.......yet I let go, and live in peace
I a so sorry, me too! :(...
That's why God hates divorce.
@@michellematthews155 indeed 🙏🥲
I pray that God will heal you and your children, it's 8 years now since we have been separated, he moved out after having an affair with woman half his age, they now have two little boys and we were together for 28 years, still legally married but he is still pursuing divorce, it's only God who has delayed the paper work, he is now pursuing selling our home because as he says, he needs the money to support his new family. It's not been easy on my children who are both in their 20's. Prayers and counselling will help you and your children. I will keep you in my prayers, I know the pain.
I agree completely. After over 20 years, my husband became involved with another woman. I forgave him, have forgiven him, but he emotionally detached and was not interested in reconciliation and was even less interested in what the will of the Lord was or what His word said. He divorced me after 28 years, almost 2 years ago. I’m still struggling to heal and praying for God to heal and make me whole. I think it’s worth noting here that both my husband and the other woman claim to be “Christians.” But when it came to applying biblical principles to our marriage and honoring the marriage bed, they were led by their feelings and not the Word of God.
Your husband needs a deliverance. Many Christians don’t understand spiritual. Gods is not in your husband’s relationship with that woman. Think about it, if God is not in it, who is? Satan and he is a deceiver.
sorry for the pain you are going through. May God‘s love be your comfort during this time. You will heal and you will blossom.
I will be praying for your healing. I know GOD will see you through this. He is and has with me.
Sex = marriage. It's sad that today people treat it like candy. For some, holding hands has become more intimate. It's sad people have had more than 1 partner.
More like goimg to the bathroom
Being a devout Christian and abiding in God's Laws are so very hard as a "human".
The closer you are to HIM the easier it is. It just almost comes naturally for the most part when He truly is your 1st love.
@@tinaregeneratedlady3476 HE is my first love, which is why I have abandoned earthly needs, but because they are earthly, it is difficult for a human living in an earthly body.
You are not called to do it in your own strength but through the grace and power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in you when you believe that Jesus is the Lord of your life and He has taken away all your sins and called you to be righteous and holy not by your works But by you believing in his works
Is it really? What makes it hard?
Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) reads “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I say this not to dispute your assertion, but to reconcile it to these words. I tend to believe that if you find following Jesus to be very hard, then you're probably doing something wrong.
If we cry out to God, "Help me do thy will," let your will become my will" in your marriage, He will ...
25 yrs in, and we have battled addiction ,infidelity, separation. All while raising 5 beautiful children . IT IS POSSIBLE IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE ! Surrendering everything house , finance, partner,children ,emotions ,feelings ,pain. ,hurt ,rejection, and deciding to just live and let God is a very hard step to take BUT than the burden lifts of of you ❤and onto God
one has to totally surrender and die in every area . Many don't want to save the marriage ,so sad God hates divorce that tells me enough to Know God's will for us . The World says it's ok it's over we are not of the world . GOD Grace us the desire to die daily to our own desires and grace us the will to desire what you have for us ❤❤❤
Love you, my Lord
The Lord is a gentleman. He will not push His way in . Please invite Him to help save the family and the marriage .He will, in His way, the best way ❤
I was listening to this with a feeling of the LORD himself speaking to me.
I was married, and divorced twice. First time in my early 20s. Second time in my 30s. Both men cheated on me and left. They did not want reconciliation. Thus, divorce. Because of this, I remain single, not dating at all.
When my husband went astray, the primary concern of my heart (by God’s grace) was for his soul more than my comfort. I prayed for him without ceasing and believed God for the best outcome. He still filed for divorce but I was confident, without a shadow of a doubt, that I fulfilled my commitment before God and man. This was more important to me than the ‘pursuit of happiness’ because it kept me in right relationship to my God and Savior. The Bible tells us to set our minds in things eternal. I think that is key to have the right attitude towards marriage. God bless all who have a heart to please God and trust Him with all decisions of life.
Yes, this is what happened to me also. I pray for my ex
husband that he will walk with Jesus again. I keep looking up while not forgetting my purpose here. GOD be with you ❤
Married 30 years to a narcissistic man. I left, divorced, never remarried. He did at 70.
I divorced my husband after 12 years of marriage and two children. I was not aware my husband was living a double life of multiple infidelity. I wasn’t saved at this time. It was a crushing blow to me and the children. Later I remarried and have been remarried for nearly 25 years. The Lord saved me, my husband is not saved. My discernment kicked in when you stated if you don’t intend on keeping your marriage vow perhaps living togather is what you should do. I disagree as James 4:17 states Therefore, to one who knows to do the right thing and does not do it, to him it is sin. The relationship not worthy of marriage before God is not worthy of “ living in sin” that would be deliberate sin on a daily basis .
Are you married to the same person or do you have a new spouse
@@jou630 new spouse
Very true that we shouldn’t live in sin. But many people get married only to still commit sexual immorality (whether it’s pornography, adultery, etc) so they just add sin to sin because now it usually involves lying, deception, etc. Sexual sin while married is far greater than had they never married at all. Also, It involves far more damage and betrayal when discovered. Sexual sin is a HUGE problem in our day. But far better had they never married than to sin sexually after marriage.
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4
I am so glad that this particular video came across my screen this morning. Ten years ago, my husband left me for a younger woman, and this video clarified my understanding of what the Bible says regarding my situation. 😊
Its easy to judge when you're in a normal marriage. But we ALL come short to the glory whether in marriage, divorce, eating habits, prayer habits, boasting, humble bragging, and on and on. No wonder the youth turns away from the church.😢
If you don’t want God, just admit it and move on. We don’t need excuses. Stay blessed🙏💜
Exactly!
Amen, God will revive and restore my marriage a claim it in the name of Jesus
1 Cor 7 v39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord
Mine was adultery and abuse
According to Jesus, remarrying with your spouse still alive is adultery - Luke 16:18.
Paul claims in 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 that Jesus commands the man not to divorce and the wife is not to separate but if she does she can only reconcile with her husband.
If Jesus’ very words are not to be believed concerning marriage, divorce and adultery than none of His words are true.
This. Right. Here. Like JESUS said it very specifically and it’s covered in more than 1 gospel. Why state it for confusions sakes?
But no, the ppl just don’t want to believe
Some people have NO idea/ No NO clue x‼️ about the epidemic of narcissistic craap
I am now divorced from my wife of 18 years. This is a divorce I never wanted and I am still very much in love with her. I got a raise the other day at work and I got sad because I wanted to celebrate with her. I know what it means to love. The reason I hurt so much is because I love her so much. Please pray that God would begin the process of leading her back . I would love to reconcile and to wake up again next to her
Father in The Mighty Name of Jesus Christ bring them back together, restore their love ❤️ for each other
@@healthylifewithchristie9620 Thank you!
God is a miracle working God! Stay strong in the Lord, and in his word. He does amazing things!!!! 🙏🙏🙏
I will be praying for your marriage! Lean on the Lord, he will help you.
I asked God to give me a burning bush moment and tell me what I need to do. That same week she broke down and cried and told me she was dating an unbeliever with a ton of red flags . She broke it off but that is the direction she's headed. She is looking to move on and later that day she told me to let her go. Please just pray for God's perfect will and pray that God heals broken hearts amen
I married very young and have been married 50+ years. I was taught that divorce is not an option, it's til death do you part. Had it not been for my Christian upbringing and my faith in God, I might not have stayed with my husband. It was hard for some years, but I was committed because of my faith, and God has blessed me for my faithfulness. I have a good husband now and am so glad I obeyed God! I once heard a preacher say, " marriage is 20% love and 80% commitment". Marriage IS A COMMITMENT!!
I have been married 29 years. Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband has had many addictions; alcohol, drugs, smoking. I was not aware of his addictions until after we were married. He stopped smoking and started vaping after 20 years. He stopped drinking alcohol, and stopped taking illegal drugs, but now he’s addicted to prescription drugs. He’s also addicted to food and eats obsessively and is obese. Porn is another addiction he has. It’s been so difficult for me to remain in the marriage. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs, never have. I read the Bible everyday and my faith is strong. I keep telling my hub that he has an evil spirit that’s killing him slowly, but he mocks me. But in reality, he does have the spirit of gluttony. I’m at the end of my rope I just want peace in my life. But I stay with him because he is my husband, and no one else will take care of him. God has a purpose for everything.
I am still with my narcissistic wife after 35 years of sexless marriage… it’s tough but it’s much worse in hell… the Bible clearly says to endure until the end in order to be saved.
@@georgeteo8797Exactly! It’s why I stay with my husband too. Even if he’s not always a good husband, he’s the one I chose as a lifetime partner. I’d rather stay with him than divorce and commit adultery by remarrying. I have never believed in divorce. God put us together for a reason.
Your husband is committing sexual immorality with pornography and is biblical grounds for divorce according to Christ.
““It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 5:31-32
Jesus says all divorce and remarriage is adultery( Mark 10;11-12, Luke 16:18) and it's a covenant to death (Romans 7:2-3, 1 Cor 7:39) and if you do divorce you are to remain unmarried or get back with your spouse (1 Cor 7:10-11). Matt 5:32 and 19:9 Jesus used 2 different words and say that fornication ( sex between single people) or the betrothed period was the only reason to divorce and like Joseph was going put away Mary was the only exception. Jesus never taught remarriage ever, just the opposite to remain single. If you are going through divorce remain single and ask the Lord to restore you marriage. That is what Jesus does with Israel.
This sounds very legalistic . . .
This is the truth. It isn't legalistic. It's the words of the Bible. Unless God tells you personally what he wants for you, you are in perpetual adultery if you remarry. The disciples themselves said "then it is better not to marry." If you aren't in it for life, don't get married.
@@Blessed591Right, who’d want to get married then if you joyfully marry someone gladly looking forward to forging a union with them and building a God honoring family, etc and then they reveal that they hate you, despise you, ridicule you, abuse you and on and on and God “says” to stay or go somewhere and pray whether it’s reconciled or not.
Nope
Know a lady right now waiting for her husband to come home for prison. He’s in there for molesting the daughters.
“Better” to be with him than to go through life spouse less. 🤦♀️
*from
Well here’s the thing there are greys that are not addressed in the Bible and I don’t agree with you at all, if someone beats the hell out of there wife and the wife’s decided to leave, I don’t think it’s God will tell anyone for the sake of keeping a covenant stay in abusive relationship whether it is physical or emotional. We all make mistakes my conviction is just like any other sin or any other religious act, Jesus came to abolish the law but he mentioned these things so we can know what’s right so folks aren’t doing stuff out of flesh and saying hey I’ve been married for 20 years I’m tied of you now, so that’s more along the lines of what’s being said, which is why Jesus was always mad at the Pharisees and Religious leaders of that day, they had the law down pack to the letter but they themselves couldn’t keep it. I want you to put the shoes on you or your mom or someone you love and give me a straight answer if you were abused in anyway by another person and tried everyone you could to work it out but it didn’t work out to me that is more of a foundational issue and two people purposes were not aligned in the first place. Marriage is not just about Love but its about purpose. Hence, so many people throw out there the scripture what “God” joined together let no man put asunder key word: “God” what he put together and you violate that based on shallow things such as the flesh etc than you may not have other alternatives, however I’ve seen many people who have divorced because they did not marry their God ordained spouse Hence everything came to ruins because God never put that relationship together in the first place. If you got married at 16 and didn’t know what you were doing and then at 25 got divorced. I don’t believe God will tell at 25 year old hey you got a divorce even though you and that person couldn’t reconcile your differences hence you are stuck for life never to find a mate again: I don’t think so. People take stuff from the Bible so literal and out of context that continues to put people in bondage, Hence people living a miserable life over one mistake they made and can’t get remarried. No I don’t agree. I agree that every situation is a case by case basis and God is the Judge, I’ve remarried and I don’t feel condemned because I know why I left a narcissist, I bent over backwards and forward to the moon and back to try to work out and the conclusion was, I wasn’t with the person God ordained me to be with I put myself in that relationship not him. That is the answer!
Please pray for my marriage. Jesus knows what's wrong, I'm looking for a sign. Prayers for everyone's troubled marriage. 💖🙏🏻✝️🇺🇸
Lord we pray. This Person marriage. We ask you to reveal to them. The truth. Which it’s only comes through you Jesus. We ask Lord that you protect them and they will finish well in this world. ❤✝️🙏
Thank You for encouraging us, C,S. Lewis.
I divorced my ex husband before I became a Christian. I remarried after 8 years . Does that mean I've committed adultery? I feel God has forgiven me after many years of feeling guilty. We've been married now for almost 22 years..
I still wander in the back of my mind if I did the right thing by getting remarried? To be honest I'm not always 💯 sure. God bless you 🙏
You weren’t a believer then… how could you have known? God is Good and Fair. Your marriage now brings glory. We can always ask for forgiveness for our past but never dwell on the past. 😊
There must have been a reason or reasons why you divorced. Maybe you married for a worldly reason in the first place. So your marriage was never really blessed.
I think if you feel you are ok with God, so accept it and let go after such a long time.
I am in the same situation, and worried I’m living in sin.
God is God of All whether pagan or a believer. As long as you married and you invited family. A covenant was made. Remarrying after the first marriage is a sin. That is why Paul said that if a married non believer leaves you because of Christ it’s ok and free to leave BUT you can stay with them as the marriage is VALID. (1 Corinthian 7). This shows that Christ blessed that Union even before salvation.
You can ONLY marry one time and that’s for Life. Regardless who you marry whether believer or non believer
It is important to hold your spouse accountable for their actions!
Forgivenes yes. The Lord holds us all accountable for our actions.
We need to do the same!... with prayer as how to do so.
I was verbally abused and physically abused by a narcissist ex husband who put me through hell, I was raised catholic but he became catholic in order to marry. After 11 yrs of trauma & fearing I might end up dead I left. In 2015 I remarried a catholic man, but prior too, I had an annulment from ex husband and as well a divorce, I really believe that that first marriage had to happen as I was so traumatized by him. No couple should have to go through relationships like that.
I'm sorry to hear about the abuse you experienced in your marriage, however, I would like to share what the Bible says about marriage, divorce and remarriage.
When a man and woman get married and it is the first marriage for both of them, then they are in a covenant marriage (Genesis 2:24). A covenant marriage can only be ended by the death of one of the spouses (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). When this occurs, the surviving spouse (widow or widower) is free to marry a never-married person or another surviving covenant spouse (widow or widower), which makes the new marriage a covenant marriage.
So, if you are in a covenant marriage and you divorce your covenant husband/wife, you can not marry another man/woman as long as your covenant husband/wife is still alive. If you do, you will be committing adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3). No adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21).
I have not found any provisions in the Bible for annulment of covenant marriages. If you can provide any, please do. Thank you.
Follow God's laws and stay in touch with him. Think of your partner as being a part of you. Do not criticize your spouse with others. You are a team with him/her, not with others. Speak kindly to your spouse, who is your closest family member. Never go to bed upset with each other. Learn to say Im sorry. You are not perfect, only God is.
Keep this simple and Biblical. If you do divorce or separate, It's a sin to remarry. Remarry is permitted only if your spouse dies.
Romans 7:1-3, Mark 10:4-11
I divorced my husband because he committed adultry, thus casting adultry on me. I never had an affair or dated anyone outside the marriage. God permits that. Also, he wouldn't let me worship God. I left, and I'm sure the bible backs me up. Plus, he threatened to kill me. So I'm not a person to stay in a marriage like that and be killed. Who would have raised our son? He didn't pay child support, either. God allows divorce under those reasons. He would have been a horrible influence on our son. Now my son is 47 and married. He's a good person because he didn't have such a negative influence on him. And i am happily married to someone who loves me and respects me. My husband now has never threatened or hit me. I am blessed. I love my praying 🙏 husband.
If your first marriage was also your first husband's marriage, then you were in a covenant marriage with him. So, if your first husband is still alive, then you and your second husband are committing adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, and Romans 7:2-3). No adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God if they do not repent and forsake their adultery (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21). You are free to remarry only when your covenant spouse is dead (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39).
I hope this helps.
@godgavemeeyestosee you're wrong. You don't stay in an unsafe marriage when you have a child to support, and your husband said he would kill you. Sorry, but God wouldn't want anyone to stay in a marriage where your spouse threatened you.
@@fighterpilot247 I never said anyone should stay with a spouse where they may be abused or killed. Anyone in this situation needs to get to safety ASAP. I simply stated that the Bible teaches that divorce and remarriage is adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3). One can only remarry after the death of a covenant spouse (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39).
I am presently going through a divorce and I am struggling with such .
I need counciling and encouragement I haven't seen my children over six years now it's killing me I prayed to God my creator about it but I need someone to talk to about it .
It's more than I can bare I want yo live my life for god not for the devil, I want yo what pleases God.
God send you the right people and heal you and your family and make the changed and give you all that missing in you and your family
Pray & Ask Jesus for a creative mircle to restore & reconcile your children back with you. Amen
🙏🏻💙✝️
May the Lord help you to find wise counsel that is rooted in the unadulterated word of God. In the meantime, seek the Lord with your whole heart. This means with everything within you and you will find Him. Ask Him to lead and guide you into all truth and to direct you in all you do. If you do this and trust Him, He will do it. Also, study your Bible daily and look for God to speak to you through His word. Be encouraged, you are not alone.
Commandment
👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 👈🏼
1 Corinthians 7:39
👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
Romans 7:2
I divorced my husband. It was nearly a 20-year marriage. He abandoned the marriage by infidelity and adultery, cruel abuse in a loveless marriage, controlling behaviors by entrapment. I had to leave and divorce him due to his hidden homosexual activity. He was trying to kill me with his dangerous behavior and I was scared and intimidated. I did not feel safe, in living with him. I feel that our Heavenly Father allowed me to leave and divorce him. The Lord actually woke me up and told me what my husband was doing. Now I feel that I lost my husband to his sinful behavior. It was really a sad case. He misrepresented himself to me, as he said that he was a Christian believer.
I also really loved him. I tried to stay with him. Now, I need to be in recovery and make some attempt to forgive him on some level. He is really too old to change his narcissistic behavior and personality
He must have hated me, because I started to see fists. And that is not all, as he shoved me into his metal music stand, when I saw stars and heard bells from the hard hit to my head. I had a hard lump that I can still feel to this day. He had admitted that he was mad with me about something but would not be clear about. I think that he agreed that he was mad with me for accidently falling to sleep during our prayer time. But he had been putting me through many nights of "sleep deprivation" and I was so tired and sleepy after being awake for 20 hours.
This digital age that we live in is such a relationship destroyer. If at all possible avoid as much as possible. It is one of satans greatest marriage killers I do believe.
I have suffered 2 divorces. The first divorce really broke my heart. I didn't want a divorce but my x wife really got offended. I was wrong in several ways however I can honestly say that I never cheated on my x wife. I was willing to change however I couldn't find a Christian counselor who really knew how to help me. A good counselor will study carefully like a detective. Asking relevant questions that will uncover the root causes of what's happening. So my x wife took me through the divorce. She broke my heart. However the good news is that Jesus Christ healed my broken heart and Jesus healed my faith. His healing process took time. We cannot force God's grace or an answer to prayer. Hope is real. Study the principles of the Bible. That is the main key. Knowing the principles of scripture. Charles Stanley study Bible!! Really love it. Don't quit. Don't give up Hope. I know your pain and sorrow is real. But you can and will heal and change as you focus upon developing an intimate relationship with Jesus. God loves you ❤️
People will Do what ever they want for. Comfort. What they don’t understand is there is comfortable. solution in this world, we will continue to struggle until the end the Lord Jesus Christ did not come here to bring peace. He came here to bring salvation. Don't even think about divorce or adultery. It will only take you farther from the truth & salvation.
Love also protects. We need to protect children from psychological and physical abuse.
The New Testament is about mercy . . . God understands the needs and desires . . . He wants us to be happy too . . . He knows that everyone or most people desire to be loved . And again He lets us go through these experiences because there is something for us to learn about ourselves .
The gospel is not about us, it’s about us submitting to God. Mercy and Grace is about God giving His Son up for the forgiveness of our sins, not so we can put our feelings over His standards. At the end times their will be a great deception don’t deceive yourself to justify sin.
One of the major obstacles for Christian couples to overcome, which can ultimately lead to divorce, is the notion that their spouse is the enemy. Consequently, the focus shifts from the demonic towards each other, where their fixation centres upon taking advantage of their partner's flaws and weaknesses to have the upper hand. This often leads to false accusations, constant arguments, and a continual hardening of the heart that screams "divorce" at every turn, especially when they butt heads or give each other the cold shoulder. However, the real cause of their marital dysfunction is the continual neglect of the fundamental truth of scripture regarding love and marriage. This loophole is what the enemy exploits due to their stubbornness to not see things from God's perspective. Failure to recognise the importance of love and forgiveness will only serve to exacerbate the growing tension between them. If both parties can stop judging each other and begin to judge themselves in the light of God's Word, it will go a long way in resolving the rift between them and hopefully break down the invisible wall of division that keeps them apart. With that said, a conscious effort to make way for open communication that addresses the underlying issues that have been so long ignored is an absolute must, where each person takes responsibility for their part in undermining their relationship and setting about ways to rebuild their marriage, under the guidance of a counsellor.
I have never been married before...one thing i know i must get it right by His grace. Amen
Prayer for Mack and Mary
I got divorced from my husband after 25 years of marriage. Since I became a christian, happening 1 year after that, I have regretted my decision of leaving my husband and family with 4 children. 😢
Why are you regretting ? What made you leave ??
@@Blessed591 He is a covert narcissist. We had counseling for 1,5 years, but nothing ever changed. I don’t know how I would be now had I not left. Would I have come in contact with the person thanks to whom I got saved? I don’t know and I will have to make peace with where I am now, pretty peaceful thanks to my belief in Jesus Christ. But I keep thinking, had I been saved during my marriage, maybe things could have been healed?
@@Josefien59 @Josefien59 I was saved when I got married . . . It didn't matter how much I prayed fasted or cried , which I did through out the marriage . But God kept showing me this man cheating in my dreams . . . I dismissed them as insecurity on my part . . . He had hardened his heart . . . Eventually when the scales fell off my eyes , I saw him clearly for what he was . And God showed me to leave him otherwise I would be completely broken . God gave me the strength and provided everything I needed to leave . . . And showed me where to go . . . So I left and have been in isolation since then . I am healing . The biggest thing that has happened is that God has brought me back into the fold . I have developed an intimate relationship with God and would not want to go back to my spouse because living with him was forcing me to compromise my faithfulness to God in the sense that trying to change this guy and keep the marriage together had become my religion . . . an idol . Since I left God has been pointing me to Himself and I understand what that means . That's it's only God who can love me and provide for me in the way that I need . .
He knows that I know that He has my back . No turning back ever.
If his heart is changed, REMARRY
Maybe reconcile, otherwise stay single.
I think the bible don't teach remarry when one of the person commit adultery,the bible say you can divorce in case of adultery, for those who believe in God or for the christian is until death separation,that's why the bible speaking about reconcilation forgivness, Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22.
minute 20:04 (on the 4 valid reasons to remarry) seems to be a contradiction on the first 2, the 2nd reason seems to contradict the first one because it states that death dissolves the marriage covenant, not divorce...
12.5 years ago I had a short lived marriage that was for less than 6 months (a joke )he was paranoid I was cheeting controlling physically abusive and pretended to be a believer of God prior to marriage , I was literally able to run away (not the first time) and get to safety ,God saved my life from that experience 100 percent. I learned so many lessons in the experience , God is a true discerner of our hearts and if we come to him when in great need he will give you a open door or literally in my case an open window to escape.
In Matthew...Jesus was questioned by the hypocrites about divorce. Jesus made it crystal clear that it was Moses who permitted divorce because of the hardness of their hearts, not God. People assume that God allowed divorce under certain circumstances? Oh sure, you can divorce, but cannot remarry while your spouse is still alive? So the options were to either reconcile with your spouse or wait until a death occurs to remarry? It is stated that close to 80% of divorces today are initiated by women? Their reason? "I am bored, not happy..." My parents have been married for 67 years. They are the best teachers because they have skin in the game. They know what it takes and I have watched them throughout the years. I tell them they are the last of the dinosaurs.😄
I once read a word given by God to a prophet - unfortunately l am not quite sure which one - but it was a trustworthy prophet. God said that marriages for money, prestige, beauty and other worldly reasons are not valid before Him and so they are free to separate. I think many, if not the majority of marriages today belong to this category.
After 42 years my wife divorced me. Reflecting on our marriage l have a feeling that she never truly loved me but were living a lie.
I married again and l feel that the new wife was really given to me by God. So for me the situation is fine and l see no problem between me and God.
Yes it is! This is why wisdom from upabove is important in leadership positions.
I stayed married to my husband 27 years but his mental condition caused great damage to my children. My older son at 20 years of age, said mum you had had the 'nouce' to leave and you didn't. We children suffered along with you. Now I have to see a psychologist to help me out of problems from being raised in such a family.
A moot point since my children’s father years ago divorced me and remarried another person; divorced them, and remarried again.
God doesn’t expect you to live in a marriage of abuse. Some believe divorce and remarriage is a sin. Well, Jesus came to take away all sins. Grace is greater than all sin. For people to live with feeling guilty all the time of their life, what good for the kingdom of God is that! Abuse should not be tolerated.
God forgives, for give others and forgive yourself. Number one lesson learned is marry someone who puts God first above all else. I have enjoyed your videos but this one I think needs rethinking!
So you are calling Jesus a liar. He said it is adultery to remarry with a spouse still alive (Luke 16:18).
Grace does not cover sin. Any Christian who murders a person can not cover their sin and get away with it and the same goes foe adultery.
There is no such thing taught in the New Testament like remarriage after divorce
and not a single "exception clause" can be found by any sincere and honest Bible reader.
Matthew 19:9
"And I Yeshua say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for (previous) sexual immorality, and MARRIES ANOTHER, COMMITS ADULTERY and whoever marries her WHO IS DIVORCED COMMITS ADULTERY."
Divorcees who try to theologically justify their remarriage are twisting the text of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7: 11-15:
"But even if the wife does depart, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED or be reconciled to her husband, and a husband is not to divorce his wife...
7:15:
If the unbeliever departs, let him depart, a brother or a sister IS NOT IN BONDAGE in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know O wife whether you will save your husband, or how do you know O husband whether you will save your wife?"
Whoever wants to misinterpret vers 15 saying that "being not in bondage " are 4 words that allow the innocent part of the couple to look for a new partner and for remarriage, will be severely corrected by Paul in vers 11 (let her/him REMAIN unmarried) and by Yeshua in:
Matthew 5:31-32
""Furthermore it has been said, 'whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce', but I Yeshua say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason , except sexual immorality (after she already committed adultery beforehand) CAUSES HER TO COMMIT ADULTERY; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery"
These 3 passages don't need explaining as much as they need believing!
In the eyes of Yeshua the ungodly act of simply leaving his/her partner alone, is already exposing him/her to search a new partner and consequently put him/her in danger to BECOME AN ADULTERER (please underline that Yeshua says here "ADULTERER" and by using that word he never meant "an innocent and abandoned believer, legitimately allowed by me Yeshua, to remarry" !)
Among all the evangelical church shepherds that I heard teaching on divorce and remarriage, about 80 percent allow this exception clause advocating for a blessed church remarriage, speculating on Paul's words "the sister is not in bondage".
On the other hand, in an very hypocritical way, those same church pastors preach outloud against "LGBTQ - sinners", while protecting, blessing and remarying "adulterer-sinners" who would have been punished by death in the days of Moses because of the law "you shall not commit adultery!"
One among those pastors is Dani Sayag (july 1st 2017) in: ua-cam.com/video/gtpfYhFpMwE/v-deo.htmlsi=i7q71EoeWb4DAAc8
Those shepherds should publicly and humbly repent on the same social media where they deceived thousands , if they want to escape the divine curse mentioned in Revelation 22:18 that will fall on all false teachers who add non existing "exception clauses" to Scripture.
(included in this group are John Mcarthur, Billy Graham, Dr. Michael Brown (askdrbrown), Vlad Shavshuk, Chuck Smith, David Wilkerson, Jack Hibbs, with many other evangelical top-theologians)
Is remarriage after divorce allowed by God Creator?
According the holy scriptures: No!
And Doctor David Pawson perfectly explained WHY NOT:
ua-cam.com/video/SpKNBw4j_6o/v-deo.html
"Those who have got ears to hear, let them listen!"
@user-ri4wd2pf3n, I agree.
As feminism increases, so does the divorce rate
100 percent. Feminism is the the enemy of happy marital life. Its rig is are ina the concept of vict8mization .
Maybe the divorce rate matches the climb in pornography and adultery statistics.
Spousal abuse is a form of abandonment.
True believers in Christ would never abuse their spouse.
If a person proclaims Jesus as Lord, yet continues to abuse their spouse, they are unbelievers in God's eyes.
Thus, God permits divorce because the unbeliever has already initiated the divorce by choosing to continue the abuse (choosing to continue to abandon their spouse).
The believing spouse is then allowed to get a divorce certificate simply to record and document on paper the divorce already initiated by the unbeliever.
Jesus protects those who are His and would never want his children to stay in unholy relationships. This is why He warned us:
"Do not give what is holy to dogs. Do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6 NASB
Marriage is a Holy relationship created and defined by God, ruled by Him for His glory. God hates divorce because it means someone (or both) has deviated from His perfect will and His authority for what He intended for marriage.
Excellent message 👏
Thank you so much for sharing it!
1. Malachi 2:16 in the original language DOES NOT SAY God hates divorce. It says, "He who hates and divorces his wife, covers his garments with violence."
2. If a spouse commits adultery, the adulterer broke the covenant of marriage, which means there is now no covenant.
3. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation and restoration. As believers we must forgive, that's a given. But whether or not these two can build trust again is a whole different thing.
4. Psychologists are reporting that by the time a wife discovers her husband's adultery, it is usually his 4th or 5th affair, so he is a serial adulterer.
5. Most people who commit adultery do it because they love it - it is an act of the will and never an accident.
6. Divorce is never an easy answer. It is something that is agonized over and only sought when it is realized the offending spouse is not truly repentant, but they only apologized because they got caught.
7. Adultery IS ABANDONMENT of a spouse.
8. Most divorces occur due to very egregious reasons.
Though you don’t believe divorce is the unpardonable sin still it is always treated that way unless adultry is involved. “Hardening the heart needs to be explored more fully.
NO WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT STATE TO REMARRY IF BOTH PARTNERS ARE STILL ALIVE! FALSE TRUTH!
Look at all the biblical scholars here. WOW. Incredible. You should all have Masters degrees in Bible. Remember one thing when it comes to context. Jesus was speaking prior to the cross under law. He himself was under law. No mention of Paul’s teaching about due benevolence. The only time to abstain from sex is prayer and fasting so that you don’t cause temptation producing sin. Whose fault is the adultery then. You can’t just pick verses and contextualize them to your benefit. The cross did something. The blood did something. Focus there
I think it's possible to emotionally abandon a relationship without physically leaving the home. Just like we would say it's considered cheating if you have an online relationship. Even though only the emotional took place and not the physical, it's still cheating. So too with abandonment.
Don't twist the scripture. You can divorce on the ground of adultery but you should not remarry as long as your partner is still alive. You both can reconcile. As for what Paul said, he never mentioned divorce but rather seperation. Let's not twist the scripture to fit into our corrupt lifestyle. God's word will never change, never never change.
Henry you need to show you’re just making statements..your comment was: you can divorce but you not remarry as long as your partner is still alive..what scripture teaches this rightly divided? The Bible saids: to prove all things hold fast that which is good 1st Thess 5:21..
what scripture Henry teache your initial statement..
Your next point again what scripture teaches what you’re saying? Here’s your statement: For what Paul said he never mention divorce but rather separate..what scripture teaches this?
Hope to hear back from you
Fornication not unfaithfulness
@@TopQuality-ms6uf what?
Good enlightening video, ❤🎉 be blessed!
Not all marriages are blessed by God
Amen
God's marriage to Israel was a shocker.
It may sound harsh, but the truth is that the Lord spoke clearly on these topics and never leaves room for a divorced person to remarry another while the original spouse still lives. One must remain faithful and single otherwise be reconciled. A remarriage after divorce is always adultery, for either party, even in the case of sexual immorality and abandonment.
A more careful and unbiased reading of the scriptures will make this truth plain to anyone. Also, a reading of the early church elders will confirm the truth as well.
Avoid adultery at all costs, and if you're already mixed up in it then repent while you still can. Be strong and courageous. God bless.
my wife left me while I was at work. I came home and it was empty. She took 5 kids and left me the bills.
I have tried to fix it for three months. She has not even tried to help fix it. She has alienated my kids and convinced them that I am a bad parent. None of them are reaching out to me. Literally have been kicked to the curb. Worst like Job, my family and friends all say I am at fault because I’m not nice.
I say “I would never rob a parent from their kids without it being abuse or criminal activity. They all say “Well you must have done something, she wouldn’t have done that for no reason “
Amen.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you loads for this. Brilliant message ❤
This was explained very well.
The woman at the well
Jesus never rebuked her for her immorality!
He said Go and sin no more. If that’s not a rebuke I don’t know what is.
That was the woman caught In adultery the other one was at the well in samaria
She had five husbands and the sixth she wasn't married to!
The woman at the well was clearly unsaved and the purpose for Jesus talking to her was to bring her salvation. You have to catch a fish before you can clean it.
I married my first husband for the wrong reasons but I stayed in the marriage and worked on the marriage for 14 years. He was verbally and financially abusive. He made all decisions without considering my input. He refused to go to church, but I managed to get him to come to a marriage seminar at my church. He was moody and rude the entire time. By this point, I felt no desire to stay.
My second husband abandoned me saying we were not supposed to be married because he was still bound by God’s covenant to his first wife. He came back three years later claiming a different opinion. He was verbally and financially abusive and two years later, we are getting divorced and I am homeless.
If ones in a polygamous marriage, can the first wife file for divorce and is remarriage possible for her?
When a man and woman get married and it is the first marriage for both of them, then they are in a covenant marriage (Genesis 2:24). A covenant marriage can only be ended by the death of one of the spouses (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). When this occurs, the surviving spouse (widow or widower) is free to marry a never-married person or another surviving covenant spouse (widow or widower), which makes the new marriage a covenant marriage.
So, if you are in a covenant marriage and you divorce your covenant husband/wife, you can not marry another man/woman as long as your covenant husband/wife is still alive. If you do, you will be committing adultery (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3). No adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21).
Also, none of the other wives in the polygamous marriage are considered wives in God's eyes. Only the first wife is the "real" in God's eyes because she is the covenant wife. We are under the New Testament, and God is no longer winking at polygamous marriages that were practiced under the Old Testament. Read Matthew 19:4-6 and Mark 10:6-9 where Jesus restored marriage back to God's original design, and Acts 17:30 which says that God no longer winks at sin. Polygamous marriages are sinful for the husband and his second, third, etc wives because they are committing adultery.
I hope this helps.😮
Thank you
"One marriage at a time; if our spouse dies, we are allowed to remarry. If you are a Christian, you should only marry another Christian. If you have a problem with this, take it up with Jesus and the Apostle Paul! This is their teaching, not mine!"
Thanks,Praise and glory to Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ Amen.
I just have to say that it is not always so cut and dry or black and white. When narcissistic abuse is in the mix, you really need to just leave if at all possible. For me, it was not possible, but pretty soon it will be, however since I don't believe in divorce, I will give this person one more chance to repent, but I don't have high hopes at all and I'm prepared to live alone which doesn't really look bad to me anymore. Trust me after going through what I did, living alone sounds great!
Hi. In my case, my unbelieving spouse demanded me to go away. I didn't want to. I read everything in the Bible and concluded that, if she demands me to go, while stating we hate eachother, and stating that we will kill eachother, I left. What is your opinion? Cause from the outside, i left. But she demanded it. Is marriage also respecting that wish?
Marriage is a covenant. She didn't want it anymore.
@@dw3403 she also actually stated that few times. What a misery we can go trough. Thank you for your response...
1 Corinthians 7:10-16
10 ¶ But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife is not to leave her husband
11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband is not to fndivorce his wife.
12 ¶ But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not fndivorce her.
13 And fnif any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not fndivorce her husband.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through fnher believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
15 Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, fnlet him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called fnus in peace.
16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
The two shall no longer be two but one flesh.. therefore, Let no one separate what Yahweh has joined as one Including yourselves.
@parinazaz4044
Did you read the story of the women who had 4 husband's?
Keep in mind she could not ask for a divorce so the husband's she had had divorced her.
Read why Moses told them they could divorce their wives with a letter to the priest. The pharicees asked him about that and what he told them was. Because of your cold hearts.
Go back to rhe beginning of the bible where God laid out what he wanted. And that was people without cold hearts but of flesh. It's not a wonder the laws were written on stone.
Also God himself declares a divorce from his own people.
So before you go and try to make people follow laws that only brought death. Realize we were redeemed from the curse of the law.
Here it is: Unless one divorces for reasons Other Than sexual immorality, it is not a Biblical grounds For divorce. IF one partner commits Any type of sexual immorality, it is essentially giving the other partner permission to Remarry without committing adultery. If one even divorces for reasons of 'just not getting along' or incompatibility, that is not Biblical grounds for divorce. If one is being abused, leave, pray they get help. We are not punching bags. But still there is no verse that allows divorce for reasons of abuse. However, being in an abusive situation myself, more often than not, sexual immorality can go along with it. Sexual immorality is common, sadly. Also, a woman is not to divorce a man. I did and paid very heavy financial consequences. Hard to hear but truth.
So a woman cannot divorce a man because she is a woman? What? But a man can because he is a man? Make your statement make sence. IF someone is abusive and refuses to get help and deliverance they are narccissts and dangerous. IF you are with a narccisst you are with the devil. That is never the will of God for his children. God is mot abusive to tell his daughters to stay in toxic abusive marriages.
I left and it turned out to be better for me & my children mentally, physically, and spiritually, financially. Wow I'm thinking of all those biblical people we look up to, the patriarchs who were living in sin. Men with multiple wives, so many like Abraham who sent away Hagar, Jacob with both Rachel & Leah. Esther who the king took as a wife after he sent Vashti away for wrong reasons. David (a man after God's own heart), Solomon, Hosea, woman caught in adultery who Jesus didn't condemn, woman at the well who became essentially the 1st evangelist, so many more examples...what about them? 🔥
Jesus mentioned that a woman can divorce her husband: Mark 10:12 (KJV) And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
@@Jer20.9 so I suppose I lived in adultery in God's eyes for 30 years with a man who didn't physically abuse me, ridicule me, mentally manipulate me, but who treated my children well & made sure our needs were met and that we were loved & cared about. I guess I'm okay now since he's now dead & I'm alone 😔 Two are better than one...Ecclesiastes 4:9 so now I can never have better again because of my 1st husbands sinful ways. What a wonderful & loving God to treat a faithful, serving daughter that way. 😢 Jesus paid our sin debt. I didn't realize I had to suffer struggling alone for decades because of my 1st husbands sins for the rest of my life as well. 🤦♀️ seriously!?
U lie
If divorce was ok for adultery, then I guess we would be divorcing daily according to Jesus Christ himself.
Matthew 5:28 👈🏼👈🏼
I have divorced and remarried out of ignorance and hard hearted. God forgives you for every sin with the exception of blasphemy. So, for us who have remarried and truly repented, God will forgive us. Will there be consequences, of course. But, moving forward, live a life that’s pleasing unto the Lord.
Thank you for this response Sheila. I have struggled so much with this topic. I was married for 20 years and then divorced a drug addicted, gambling addict. I am now happily remarried to a new man for 8 years now. I always worry if I’m living in perpetual adultery and will go to hell or not be taken in the rapture. Your answer gave me some comfort. Thank you.
@@elliewilson2529 Ellie - Don’t feel alone. When I really matured in God, I to struggled with this remarriage matter and how different pastors view this topic. Remarrying is a sin (it’s adultery). But remember what God told the woman who was caught in adultery? He said, “Go, and sin no more.” Therefore, we don’t continue to commit that same since once we’ve truly repented. I remarried and it’s been 7 years…it was not the greatest experience of my life because I had to reap some stuff. But, thank God for His grace and mercy. I’m hanging in there and trusting God along the way. Stay blessed and keep the faith in our God.
@@sheilariley9962 This is the best supportive answer people do not know the ends and outs of a person's life. We have to show mercy and grace not condoning any sin but rather going to God in prayer to help each other in the body of Christ.
You ARE living in continuous adultery unless you confess your adultery to God and forsake the adultery. Repenting of sin always includes forsaking the sin. Don't fool yourself.
"He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy (Proverbs 28:13 NKJV)."
"For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; (Titus 2:11-12 KJV)"
I agree that we should show love and grace to one another, but we also must tell the truth that to remarry after divorcing a covenant spouse is to commit adultery and that to be forgiven for any sin, including the sin of adultery, you have to forsake the sin. You cannot stay in an adulterous marriage and think that God has forgiven you for adultery. Grace teaches us to deny sin, in this case adultery, not stay in it. Please obey the word of God.
Matthew 19:9 clearly stating you can divorce and remarry if sexual immorality occur
My father was a compulsive liar, compulsive thief, obsessive compulsive hoarder, he beat me in the head when I was 5 years old, physically abusive, he cheat on my mother. But my mother never divorced him, she enabled him, she said "God hates divorce." They constantly fought. It was wrong for my mother to expose her children to his abuse and constantly justify and enable him.
Abuse is grounds for separation, but not divorce. Scripture is quite clear about the narrow grounds for divorce.
In cases like your parents, the separation should have been used to resolve their problems so that the marriage could be restored according to God's design.
@@Berean_with_a_BTh what part about cheating on my mother do you not understand. Keep your opinions to yourself. He also stole my identity.
@@patrickgoncalves3878 Sorry, missed the bit about the cheating.