The goofiest thing my DM let me get away with, was basically the "Anvil gag" from loonytunes. We're in a cave that apparently 100ft up, so I used mold earth to drop a 5ft tall and 5ft wide block of solid stone on the bandit leader, her weapons pinwheeling in the air after impact and everything 😂 This was right after I had already buried someone up to their shoulders with the same spell, and used their head as a stool.
I made a D&D campaign that, after I had absolutely nothing prepared yet for the next mission, ended up taking place 20 (1d20) years after a friends campaigns which were based on games, for example our campaigns merged because he forgot his character but remembered the last son of atom from a fallout game, a full year later we found out that he was a synth, but yeah, last week we found our base destroyed so after about three minutes of discussion we went to rapture (bioshock) instead of Colombia (bioshock infinite) because it’s underwater and Colombia is in the sky and we were fighting mostly modrons, some of whom can fly but none can swim, we then built a portal and went to the subnautica AA gun, which was changed into a large stasis gun bc his brother managed to make blueprints for every piece of technology we received, where we went to the empress, forgetting that unlike Andrew Ryan, we couldn’t save the empress, so we went back to rapture, “borrowed” a vita-chamber (bioshocks respawn system, designed by Andrew Ryan as a form of immortality in our story) and supersized it in the enclosure, before placing an enormous rib from the empress in for DNA so we could introduce her to atom, and so we could justify supersizing the exit
Throwing a dagger and casting Catapult on it midair to deal both the damage from throwing the dagger and the damage from Catapult at the same time. I did this about 4 times during the session, and much to the party's amusement it missed every single time.
A player in my table (the arty) used catapult on a throwable consumable similar to alchemist's fire but for ice damage. the Potion did 2d4 Cold damage + the catapult damage, defeating several imps and putting out the fire because of its contents.
I think my dumbest thing ever was catching a mug of ale that was thrown at mw athletics " Thank you, I was indeed thirsty" like they just gave me the drink
I rolled like this... "By the power of naughtiness, i command this particular drop of hot sauce that will be really, really hot!" Me casting prestidigitation in a contest of spicy food to make the hot sauce bursting like it was lava and the CON roll to succeed was high AF... Everyone loose that one
Not D&D, Earthdawn. Story is that we've lived underground for centuries to avoid the "horrors" that have infested the surface, but now we are emerging from the underground to check if the horrors are gone and if it is ok for everyone to come back to the surface. We start the campaign by emerging from a cave entrance into a forest. I am playing a 1 foot tall pixie wizard. The DM describes the forest as "tall trees blowing in the wind"; I immediately yell out, "Horrors!" and start casting Stone Missile spells at the trees; rest of the party laughs and joins in with their swords and bows and such. After a minute or 2, I ask the DM, "are their birds flying out of the trees?" He says, "yes, of course there are"....In character, I respond, "Baby Horrors!" and start shooting at the birds as well (much harder to hit though). We all had a good laugh....except the DM, who was questioning what he had signed up for. LOL
“Okay, so I’m going to cast Catapult onto my Eldritch Cannon, and throw it at the enemy.” “Wait, what the fuck?!” “CATAPULT DOES MORE DAMAGE.” “No no I’m here for it. I’m just very concerned.”
We went undercover and did a standout in Las Vegas. We didn't know what to use until one player said, "How about a taco truck. A Village People-themed taco truck."
I polymorphed a Minotaur into a turtle and put it in a box, then put that box into a bag of holding and sealed it up. 10 minutes later and problem solved no more minotaur! Next room! I then learned the Minotaur was the final boss... we ended way earlier than we were supposed to bc of me 💀 Super proud of myself though lmao
We needed to lure out a major undead from the depths of their ship. Our rogue offered to be bait, I decided to "help" him. I cast *light* on his hair... It worked out for us, the whole table was laughing the whole time.
The party was fighting a massive, sentient brain and one of the party members(Paladin) used Holy Smite to one shot the thing. The Holy Smite essentially cooked it, and me (as a joke) said “What happens if we eat it?” The DM rolled his eyes and decided that if we eat it, we gain two intelligence.
Okay but that last one sounds neat for a fighter subclass! So when you would choose fighting styles, you can choose weapon masteries that you "know" as well.
We were playing a Destiny version of D&D. My character was pretty much made of glass and so I was just running around the enemy (which was a hive knight) taking shots at it when I could. My friend was going head to head with it. He dropped his war hammer, and I had my companion teleport it to the roof of the cave and dropped the hammer on top of the enemy and did about a quarter of its health in damage. Dm didn’t let me do it again, but I’m still proud that i physicsed my way into doing a lot of damage.
Did a one shot where we were these over-the-top heroes (think MMPR meets Sailor Moon) and we were all about the power of teamwork, friendship, etc. So instead of one of us rolling a 20, the five of us would each roll a 4. And we would roll the dice together at the count of 3 and say the name of the team as we let go: "WORLD'S TOUGHEST FIGHTERS!!!" Yes. We were "WTF".
The year is 2022, my new group and I are playing our very first campaign in our homebrew world of Mir (mer). The campaign revolves around a quest from the king to escort a baby Red Dragon (Zephyr) (Note: scale color does not determine morality) and his Kobold attendant (Scratch) back to their home in a mountain range on the other side of the country after a magical mishap saw them teleported to the capital. Basically, the distance between Oregon and Massachusetts. Thing is, this Kobold had a bit of an attitude problem and a superiority complex, leading him to cause no small amount of trouble for the party. Over the course of our journey, he started no less than two tavern brawls, pissed off a woman who turned out to be a very temperamental adult Black Dragoness, got us kicked off a riverboat and got us on the bad side of a notable mercenary group whom we almost persuaded to aid us on our quest. Having finally had enough of the shenanigans, our suspiciously Kratos-like Goliath Storm Herald decides to try talking to Scratch about his behavior. "Look, I understand you think yourself of a high position due to your duty, and I understand how you must feel, having been separated from home and kin. But your antics aren't helping us get you and your young charge home sooner." "That sounds like a YOU problem." "It's an US problem, Scratch, the more people whose ire you draw against us, the more danger you put baby Zephyr into. You must learn to behave better and set a better example for the young one!" "And what are you gonna do if I don't, big boy?" That was the last straw. "I kneel down, grab the Kobold, bend him over my knee, AND SPANK HIM UNTIL HIS ASS TURNS RAW!" The DM is so flabbergasted, he doesn't know what rolls to make. So, he decides "Fuck it! You spank the Kobold, drawing the attention of the rest of the camp as the sounds of smacking flesh and Koboldish agony fade into the night!" The rest of the table began roaring with laughter and, needless to say, Scratch the Kobold was very well behaved for the rest of the campaign!
Was dealing with a hostage situation on the second floor of some building. Me and another player were at the door across the room and the baddies demanded a rare artifact we had in exchange for the person. Had had Vortex Warp, which can teleport a willing person. So I just teleported the guy and we, quite literally just Peeporun. Like, I literally said that to the DM. Of course they chased us. One of the baddies turned into a giant spider thing. But every turn was just "We peeporun." It was hilarious and I kind of felt bad for our DM because I felt like it was supposed to be a much more serious moment. But like, nah, we out.
letting the rogue use gauntlets and boots enchanted with grease and adhesion. he turned into a gecko, ever unaffected by gravity and the most annoying spotter for the dm to deal with. we used telepathy, shared vision and long range spells to form a magic artillery squad. the divination minotaur was happy, the artillerist centaur was happy, the evocation tabaxi was happy. the dm gave up at some point and grabbed stronger encounters against our "nuke rushes"
A rare story about the campaign with my first DM. Our party had just finished fighting some Ettercaps in the jungle, and we were suddenly surrounded by amazon warrior women. As they started yelling at us for being intruders and how they'd kick us out for killing their pets if they didn't kill us first, I had decided my best option as a battle-weary combatant was to offer a Pirates of the Caribbean reference, "Parley?" Against all likelihood that jungle warriors would be familiar with the word or concept, without any roll they stared at each other and escorted us to their city to speak with their chief. After that, the DM went back to his usual toxicity, the male party members were escorted to the mines and railroaded to work offscreen during our stay, while the female party members were escorted to the palace to be treated lavishly. My *male* elf ranger was escorted into the women's group, not because he was the one that requested to meet with the leader, but because lmao the average elf man is a twink lol. A description that stuck to the character for the rest of the campaign, even after the DM ragequit and a player took over.
The one time I got to crit on a 9+. Buckle up. Context: So I'm running a spellsword in a Pathfinder 1e campaign w/ house rules. My character is a Magus, a spellsword class that can combine both halves of the "gish" style on the level of action economy. Spellstrike lets you proc an attack-roll spell off of a weapon swing, and Spell Combat lets you take a penalty on attack rolls to cast a spell as part of your Full-Attack rotation (Pathfinder's equivalent to the Extra Attack feature). I took two archetypes (an optional feature I can best compare to subclasses in 5e) - Bladebound (trades away a few levelup milestones for a free sentient magic item, and offloads some of the resource progression to it) and Kensai (leans the class further into its martial half at the cost of armor proficiency, and hyperspecializes for a specific weapon type of your choice). Default Pathfinder 1e has a few rules regarding critical hits that 5e does not. First off, all attacks have a critical threat *range,* which is basically the numbers on die where your attack counts as a critical threat, usually listed based on the lowest number in that list (e.g. 20 only for most weapons, 19+ for most swords). I chose a scimitar for my magic item and weapon specialty, which threatens a critical hit on 18+, the widest a critical threat range can go on just the weapon alone. Why "critical threat" and not "critical hit"? Because there's *also* a rule stating that, when your natural roll falls inside your attack's critical threat range, you need to roll the attack again to "confirm the critical hit" - if you succeed that critical confirmation roll, *then* you get the bonus damage. Rest assured, a nat20 is still an autohit. Pathfinder also has a few feats and rules that are balanced for that setup, including Critical Focus for a bonus specifically to critical confirmation, and Improved Critical to double the crit range of any one weapon type. The GM for the campaign I'm currently in seems to be a Monty Hall GM who does not like critical confirmation, and has a house rule in play saying that critical hits automatically confirm. I had to discuss with him for a bit regarding the effects of Critical Focus (a feat directly impacted by this house rule, and which he admits he forgot was a thing), and he proposed a rework to Critical Focus under his house rule: pick a weapon group (as per the Fighter's weapon training feature), and add 1 to the critical threat range of all weapons therein. Apparently this +1 to critical threat range occurred *before* Improved Critical. So I took Critical Focus to boost my scimitar's crit range to 17+. Combine that with the scimitar getting an extra +1 to threat range from Kensai-specific features that were *also* impacted by the house rule (bringing it to 16+), another +1 via a gift from the GM for exploration (bringing it to 15+), and Improved Critical to *double* it... Yeah, that's a stupid amount of crits. Granted, as of this comment, we're currently level 11. *But that's still a stupid amount of crits.*
Recently I’ve been playing a bardlock who has both a rhythm makers drum and a rod of the pact keeper. Issue is I cannot hold both at the same time. But I had an idea to turn them into one object. Another party member has wood worker and tinkerer tool proficiency so I asked him to make the bits to turn my drum and stick into a hammer. With a few good roles I can now smack someone in the face with a drum while receiving boosts to both types of spells
Goblin Artificer. I was given a rifle while we were in a trench fighting the enemy kingdom. Due to some backstory and role play, a fey gifted me the ability to use wild magic. After imbuing a bullet with wild magic I shot it at the enemy trench. These enemies were incredibly strict, so strict that our DM told us we saw a soldier drop his rifle and he was shot before he could pick it up. After rolling an incredible nat 20 I shot this man in the head and killed them instantly. Roll on the wild magic table, 73. 73 is cast *Fear*. Not only does it make anyone who fails the wisdom saving dc DROP THEIR ITEM it has a 20ft radius. 19 soldiers fail the DC and try to run resulting in their immediate demise. After that incredibly lucky shot I was awarded a medal of bullshit luck.
in our Phandelver adventure for some reason we convinced some poor people that our monk, who was more than happy to turn actual bad guys into pulp, but otherwise was just a chill dude, was an actual avatar of Amaunator, and our Necromancer was... a bishop of his church this was early in the campaign and lasted for nearly a year, the more we played it out the more people believed and yes, we took over a year to play out Phandelver, but I bet you already understand why
I had a large table with a WallFlower Player. She was happy to chip in a little RP now and again when the mood struck her, but hung back in most combats. To get her more involved, I gave her a rapier that, no more than once a day (I'm only a little insane) could do damage to an enemy's CON score. Not full damage, but halved to avoid exactly what occurred anyway. She built her character around this weapon, sinking all her feats into expanding Crit range and output. By campaign's end, she could crit on a 15 or better and dealt 4-times damage. She never abused the ability and had great thematic sense, for which I am ever thankful, because every. single. time. she stepped up, whoever she bared her blade too died in a single attack with a harsh one-liner. Goblin boss shrieking at the fighter? "Still that vile tongue." Deathknight beating the brakes off the paladin? "He's not a drum, you ignorant knave." Flesh Golem that just punted the druid? "A slash in time saves nine." At the end of the campaign, we had an epilogue section to close out the characters. A sort of 'what happens next' answer. She decided she was marrying all the wives she'd accumulated over the journey which included her half-elf/dwarf housekeeper, a construct who loved to bake, a princess she accidentally rescued, and two dragons. [Don't look at me like that, I'm just the DM] and since the whole party had come together (we rarely had the whole table at a session due to IRL scheduling) I figured the BBEG deserved an encore. He came, he monologued. He was stabbed through the heart as the player teleported just close enough to impale him. The damage count was enough to give him a negative CON greater than he started with. Even before damage was dealt, this poor wizard's new CON had him at negative HP. "This event is invitation only." And then blasted him with a Disintegration Ray she'd been saving for months. It was a much better ending than I could have planned. Baronet Caspian Blackthorne, 'He of Five Wives', was an excellently played character.
I always give my players a portent 20 for the session following their birthdays. We just so happen to run a one shot on the birthday of one of them. He played a bard. I ran some basic DM’s guild module that looked fun, it was essentially a puzzle/combat tower with 10 levels. On the 10th level, there was a sleeping adult red dragon. I believe it had a key around its neck they opened the final door. The rouge proceeded to roll 31 to sneak up to the dragon, 33 to snag the key, then 31 again to sneak away, not waking the dragon at all. The party was ready to finish up and exit the tower, but the bard birthday boy said “I WANT TO FUCK THAT DRAGON” since it was just a one shot, I said “okay, but only if you roll a nat 20”. He rolled a 12, but used that birthday portent. We didn’t even wrap it up cause we laughed about it for the rest of the night. Still comes up as a joke every once in a while.
This was a Rifts/Megaverse thing, but I think it still fits here: Having come into possession of a Robotech Factory (after already having enough personnel to operate it) and then putting it into an Earth-Moon Lagrange Point, I had begun designing various weapons and spacecraft that were to be first used in a conflict with the Mechanoids. The unhinged magnum opus of the stuff I designed was the "Chimera" Synchro Veritech, which was effectively a VF-1S Super Veritech with four Synchro Cannons mounted onto it; two were on the front of the booster pack, and two were mounted on the arms. The reason for creating such an abomination (and promptly mass-producing it) was that the statistics given for the hover-platform-mounted Synchro Cannon consisted of a 50 foot beam diameter and literally infinite damage. The reason for mounting four of them on each craft was to offset the relatively slow rate of fire that each cannon had.
My most memorable Gelatinous Cube story was running into one for the first time in Moria (an old roguelike) back in the 90s. I was 10-ish, maybe a bit younger, and, despite generally reading well above my grade level, misread it as "Celatinous Gube". I've been tempted to call them that every time I've heard them mentioned since.
The DM forgot my druid was at a meeting between the party’s face and the king we were working for, so I made a joke about rolling stealth to see how long it would take for the people at the meeting to notice me. The DM had me roll. With a nat 20 not only I was the first person at the meeting, but I also stole the king’s sandwich and wasn’t actually noticed until after the meaning was over
Our party was trying to attack a slaver encampment, but we where on the other side of a lake, we could take the short way and risk the guard tower, or the long way and risk exhaustion (it would have taken all night) we where in a heated discussion until our druid and palidin both had the idea of just going across the lake, so we spend a few hours building a boat, and set off in the middle of night. Our druid needed to make a survival to just get across the lake and not sink the boat (most of us are heavy armor users with no ranks in swim) well lucky for us the druid roled a 20, and ended with like a 32 or somthing in total. The assult of the SS Penitrator was a wonderful success, and was the first blow that would topple that group of slavers
Ever watch a video and go "Huh, that sounds really familiar" and then go "OH THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S TALKING ABOUT ME!" Because that just happened. I was the Shrek. It was a Castlevania-esqe one-shot and we were fighting the final form of "not-Dracula". I honestly can't believe some posted that story on reddit but damn if it doesn't bring back good memories.
My DM has a character named Indiana bones who smokes an absurd amount of blunts, and one of our party members has recently died. His player switched to his backup, which was a bard. I suggested he play bad to the bone because it would be funny, and he ended up rolling a natural 20. The DM decided that would summon Indiana Bones. We went up going into a bossfight, and Indiana bones was the actual reason we won the fight. He ended up getting the perfect blunt for every situation (he has 12 and which he gets is random) he rolled one that clones the user 3 times. Twice on the strongest party member. He also ended up teleporting the boss we were fighting (who was a reincarnated pc who had just died), with one of his blunts on the first one the boss used.
“I slap myself in the face.” The table was surprised, but the DM let me roll for it. I took 7 damage. Context: This was a PvP Battle Royale oneshot where everyone was encouraged to kill each other. I tried to not do that, which resulted in a voice entering my character’s head to try and tempt him. My solution? Hit myself. It ended up working, even though I took well over 100 damage in the same turn from stray magic attacks.
Not D&D Was playing a noghri slicer (hacker) in a Star Wars RPG campaign. We had to infiltrate an imperial ship. I hacked in and vented the atmosphere before we EVA traveled to the bridge and cut in from the outside. Over a thousand unprepared Imperials got spaced or simply died by asphyxiation. At the end of the session, the DM threw out several pages of possible encounters we COMPLETELY bypassed.
We were exploring an ancient city built way up high. We're on a path/staircase/thing that arced betweem two buildings, and it started to crumble under us. Everyone else starts booking it. I cast Spider Climb on myself, walked onto the underside of the path (which the DM had said was smooth), and used it like a slide with reversed gravity. Aa a finishing touch, I used my phone to play the slide theme from Super Mario 64 while the sequence happened.
Ive talked about it before on here, but I was in an EXTREMELY broken homebrew Tyranny of Dragons campaign during the pandemic. I was playing a warlock with a backstory of "trained whole life to be a cleric, his god lost his soul while gambling with Asmodeus". One of my favorite character concepts. I did something very dumb that led to an amulet of the pheonix exploding in my hands, catching me on fire and killing my character. The DM messaged me after the session explaining that I would be reincartnated with some special abilities from the pheonix amulet. The first thing i did was use the death clause in my warlock contract to end my pact, then we had to determine my new gender and race with the reincarnate (went from Male Copper Dragonborn to Female Teifling). After this i negotiated for some CRAZY abulities: - Resistance to Fire - Fire spells added to spell list (i was a life cleric) - A summonable pheonix companion that used wildfire druid companion stats - New death mechanics (Instead of death saves, i would explode upon reaching 0hp, base level fireball equivalent. Then, in the center of that fireball, an egg would appear. It had 20 AC and 10 HP. If it was destroyed, I would permanently die. Otherwise, I was reincarnated in 1d4 days. The race was random from a list of fire related options, and of course gender was also random) In exchange for all of that, I lost a level. I then convinced the DM of allowing range of touch spells to automatically succeed if I was grapling the target. From then on I would cast create bonfire on myself at the start of combat, then I would grapple an enemy, catching them on fire as well, and cast inflict wounds with my highest available spell slot. Later on, there was a black market shop with armor of Fire Resistance. The DM had it that double resistance = immunity. I didnt have enough money though, so i went in the backroom with the shopkeeper and convinced him (I had a weird god that was fine with this kind of stuff)
I'm the Dm and I allowed one of my players to roll and find a "cool rock" They rolled an 18 and found a pretty cool rock. The next few sessions after, said player would ask "why do I have a 'cool rock' in my inventory?" It is now gonna be a pivotal item for the future of the game
My party was by an old ruined building with four towers. The DM described it as falling apart. Me, the rogue, asked if I could climb up the tower and onto the wall. The DM said the wall was smooth and it would be almost impossible to climb. I said I would try anyway and rolled the d20. I got a natural 20 and the DM described how I just hugged the wall and slid right up.
The dumbest thing my DM lets me get away with is probably a running gag in our Star Wars game, my B1 medic has been terrible at stealth but my DM lets me roll for my dumb jokes and I succeed by a good bit every time, fun part is I have +3 dex and +2 charisma (and no relevant proficiencies) so the dice gods just seem to really enjoy this gag, only one to fail to hide from tie fighters flying overhead in a field, pretend to be a rusty scarecrow, knock something over trying to sneak up on a probe droid, play dead in the scrap pile of clone wars tech, only one to fail to sneak up on a imperial strong hold pretend to be a door to door vacuum sales man and distract the guards long enough for the party to sneak up and hold them all at various combinations of blaster and light saber point, so we can question them, I love this game and I'm glad my DM just rolls with the stupid jokes I make when I mess up
Freeing a level 20 former PC from their petrification situation that was just supposed to be there as a quick chuckle and nod. Long story short, I was given an item I could turn into a universal solvent at risk of bad things happening. I rolled well and freed this NPC when we were still around level 3. Then he was the sort to pledge loyalty for a life debt so all of the combats became a joke until we just as accidentally killed him in a huge explosion a dozen sessions down the line. 🤷
Kender definitely sound like a nuisance to work with, but do wonders for any DM that likes to see their players explore every corner of the town/dungeon they make! There's got to be some middle ground to help reign them in. Maybe playing as a paladin with some kind of code that runs somewhat in opposition to their nature, so that they don't feel as compelled to dig up every grave in a haunted town, for example. By all means, be brave and explore, but understand caution, prepare accordingly, and consider likely consequences.
9:30 Similar to this, we were playing Rolemaster and one player wanted to use the body proportions charts she found in a book. By random chance, her character ended up with massive breasts. This became an ongoing joke throughout the entire campaign.
My dm let me shove people and creatures in to my bag of holding. I emased an army of over 100 goblins. And they where all alive whilst in the bag to. They got so traumatised that they obeyed my every command, and i used them in battle frequently.
I was part of a group who did a bunch of connected one shots during college (this is how I started playing). One day, my Half orc vengeance paladin and and a monk named Mike Tython where the only ones who were playing, and our quest was simple; rescue a noble from a hoard of kobalds. We found their lair and were about to commit various war crimes against them when the dm told us that the kobalds had sick shades so for the sun. I ask my dm, can I hire them ( I had 40k gold due to some dead dragons, robing a town of a-holes during a festival, and selling a ship I had claimed as my own after killing a wizard pirate captain at a crazy mark up). I was told to roll persuasion at disadvantage. Double nat 20. I was escorted to the kobalds king and signed a contract to employ all the kobalds as my own personal army. The dm had planed the session to take a few hours, it took us 20 minutes. We did another dungeon crawl immediately afterwards. But the best part is my dm then worked with me and the other people who dmed our one shots to create a system for my kobalds army.
Me the DM let my players get away with naming a city in the forest "Forest City" I decided that the elves that live there never really gave it a name so travelers gave it that as a placeholder I may change it to "forest city" but in elvish
got to say of all the ones I had probably my cleric of law. 3.5 did not require clerics to be dedicated to a deity you could be dedicated to a domain. So I was a Lawful Nuetral cleric of law. Basically think Judge dread mixed with Matt Murdock. I could be judge jury and executioner if needed but mostly was a lawyer. practically every single time a group of bandits of the BBEGs goons showed up the game got bogged down in legal proceedings.
Not sure if this counts as goofy, but our DM let us start a religious war and invent christmas to fuel said war. The campaign took place in the sword coast. The city of Neverwinter was under siege by an army of orcs, and the party was helping fend of the orcs. During a mission to learn more about the movements of the orcs, we learned that the orcs was split in to internal factions, one who worshipped Talos and one who worshipped Gruumsh. The two factions didn't get along, and we had a bard/wizard multiclass member who also worshipped Talos. We got into contact with the Talos orcs and convinced them into starting an religious civil war with the Gruumsh orcs. Later, we had to leave the city to investigate a plot of Zuggtmoy that was happening simultaneously to the siege. The city was surrounded by orcs, so a couple of wizards from the local wizard tower along the partys' wizards cast fly on a bunch of donkeys and a barrel of alcohol tied to said donkeys. One member road the barrel while the rest road the donkeys, and we flew over the orcs. On the way, someone began to shout "Praise Talos" and "Happy Talosmas" and other catchphrase that Santa uses. Someone else cast prestidigitation and other spells to as special effects, and the orcs began fighting each other. Our DM laughed about it and declared we had invented the local equivalent to christmas.
The it is the year 2024 the artificer loaded his steel defender with about as much gunpowder as it could carry gave it a match and told it to run towards my character and detonate when with in five feet i died it was great. for context after returning from a fetch quest for the bbeg (Which I was single handedly responsible for) they had betrayed me and the bbeg
I shot my fighter’s sword out of his hand. We were playing a little nightmares themed game and were in a supermarket specifically the clothing section. I was a Yuan-Ti rogue atop a GIANT clothing rack and thought it’d be funny…well the fighter eventually got to the top of the rack and threw me off if it…I died, and was shocked my short bow managed the shot even though I died. this was my second (now failed) campaign with this table.
not the goofiest but fun anyway. we were hand cuffed and had to escape somehow, i had in session one if can i do somantic components with my trunk (i was playing a loxodon wizard) he allowed it. so with my trunk free i decided to cast fireball on the enemies. and blow up the distellery we were captured in. fun times
I'm going to be straight here. I know that kender players have a certain stereotype, but that second to last story seems less of a kender problem and more of a the DM didn't plan this very well problem. Any character with a certain combination of character traits could have done the same thing and the DM could have sat down with the players and explain why they didn't want them to do this. I don't think it's very fair to blame the fact that the player was playing a kender for this. The players also followed the Kender in, so by the DM's logic, they share the blame too.
My dnd group enter a maze but the maze was different for everyone so me some how having a +7 in intimidation I rolled to intimidate the maze to get in the same maze as are wizard he said it would have to be a 20 or higher i rolled a 15 so I intimidated the maze so much I ended up with the wizard
As the dm letting the party make a machine to literally infuse potions into their boat. They had to travel across half of the world. Soo they got a few speed potions and well wings to attach to the boat.So what did they do? Stack the speed potions times 5 and by sheer speed flew across the world in a day. During the whole process I had to play the king k rool theme. It was sooo unexpected but I ain’t punishing outside the box thinking (It should have taken 10 days btw) And this is only the start I am interested in what other crazy idea this Potion infusion machine spawns
Also forgot to mention the npcs that saw them coming at mark 5. They were shitting themselves. Now there is a rumour of a flying ship in my campaign. And no one knows who did unless your are my party
Current dnd game last season our team is on a hiest mission we some how manage to kill the casino manager and not gets security notified don't get me wrong it was veary close like he had literally picked up the sending stone to notify security and we kill him before he could send the message then sneak into the security office our bard convinces them to lock themselves into the cells of the security office we forget to get the keys from them the bearacade them in the cells my character Goliath Barbarian with 4 HP and completely spent stays back to ensure the security stays in the cells while the rest of the team takes nearly everything from the vault but not enough to get noticed by staff security starts to try and break out of the cells we trapped them in as the team returns with an animated skeleton of a menitor security then decides they should just stay in the cells make our way to the out realized there was still a task we needed to do which was to get an idol make our way other there me being Barbarian and fully spent for the day it was unamiasly decided that i should wait halfway between there and our exit our dwarf tinkerer though not spent decided they should be with me because slower movement speed paladin and bard make a scene while casting minor illusion and fighter takes idol fast enough to not set off alarm with bag of holding and wr all leave successfully competing the mission stealing 5,000 gold 1 idol 1 Doom Helm 1 cloak of billowing 2 crossbows 5 pikes a few other magic items 4 rings worth 100gp each we get to keep all the magic items and other items we got the 5,000GP and Idol was for the mission and we all got payed 100gp each oh and we had to return the bag of holding because it wasn't ours to begin with next season we have to figure out a smuggling option the city guards have and try to save our house from being torn down and built into condos
"Triple Disadvantage"? Yeeeaaaaah, sounds like 90% of that game was homebrew already. That roll would be disadvantage and at +4 AC. Not that difficult, actually.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
The text changes back in 6 days time :)
The goofiest thing my DM let me get away with, was basically the "Anvil gag" from loonytunes. We're in a cave that apparently 100ft up, so I used mold earth to drop a 5ft tall and 5ft wide block of solid stone on the bandit leader, her weapons pinwheeling in the air after impact and everything 😂
This was right after I had already buried someone up to their shoulders with the same spell, and used their head as a stool.
I made a D&D campaign that, after I had absolutely nothing prepared yet for the next mission, ended up taking place 20 (1d20) years after a friends campaigns which were based on games, for example our campaigns merged because he forgot his character but remembered the last son of atom from a fallout game, a full year later we found out that he was a synth, but yeah, last week we found our base destroyed so after about three minutes of discussion we went to rapture (bioshock) instead of Colombia (bioshock infinite) because it’s underwater and Colombia is in the sky and we were fighting mostly modrons, some of whom can fly but none can swim, we then built a portal and went to the subnautica AA gun, which was changed into a large stasis gun bc his brother managed to make blueprints for every piece of technology we received, where we went to the empress, forgetting that unlike Andrew Ryan, we couldn’t save the empress, so we went back to rapture, “borrowed” a vita-chamber (bioshocks respawn system, designed by Andrew Ryan as a form of immortality in our story) and supersized it in the enclosure, before placing an enormous rib from the empress in for DNA so we could introduce her to atom, and so we could justify supersizing the exit
Okay..?
@babdreemer 2days now
Throwing a dagger and casting Catapult on it midair to deal both the damage from throwing the dagger and the damage from Catapult at the same time. I did this about 4 times during the session, and much to the party's amusement it missed every single time.
A player in my table (the arty) used catapult on a throwable consumable similar to alchemist's fire but for ice damage. the Potion did 2d4 Cold damage + the catapult damage, defeating several imps and putting out the fire because of its contents.
I think my dumbest thing ever was catching a mug of ale that was thrown at mw
athletics
" Thank you, I was indeed thirsty" like they just gave me the drink
I rolled like this...
"By the power of naughtiness, i command this particular drop of hot sauce that will be really, really hot!"
Me casting prestidigitation in a contest of spicy food to make the hot sauce bursting like it was lava and the CON roll to succeed was high AF... Everyone loose that one
Not D&D, Earthdawn. Story is that we've lived underground for centuries to avoid the "horrors" that have infested the surface, but now we are emerging from the underground to check if the horrors are gone and if it is ok for everyone to come back to the surface. We start the campaign by emerging from a cave entrance into a forest. I am playing a 1 foot tall pixie wizard. The DM describes the forest as "tall trees blowing in the wind"; I immediately yell out, "Horrors!" and start casting Stone Missile spells at the trees; rest of the party laughs and joins in with their swords and bows and such. After a minute or 2, I ask the DM, "are their birds flying out of the trees?" He says, "yes, of course there are"....In character, I respond, "Baby Horrors!" and start shooting at the birds as well (much harder to hit though). We all had a good laugh....except the DM, who was questioning what he had signed up for. LOL
“Okay, so I’m going to cast Catapult onto my Eldritch Cannon, and throw it at the enemy.”
“Wait, what the fuck?!”
“CATAPULT DOES MORE DAMAGE.”
“No no I’m here for it. I’m just very concerned.”
2:28 This is on the same level of punching your own bullets in Ultrakill
We went undercover and did a standout in Las Vegas. We didn't know what to use until one player said, "How about a taco truck. A Village People-themed taco truck."
I polymorphed a Minotaur into a turtle and put it in a box, then put that box into a bag of holding and sealed it up. 10 minutes later and problem solved no more minotaur! Next room! I then learned the Minotaur was the final boss... we ended way earlier than we were supposed to bc of me 💀
Super proud of myself though lmao
We needed to lure out a major undead from the depths of their ship. Our rogue offered to be bait, I decided to "help" him. I cast *light* on his hair... It worked out for us, the whole table was laughing the whole time.
😂😂😂😂
The party was fighting a massive, sentient brain and one of the party members(Paladin) used Holy Smite to one shot the thing. The Holy Smite essentially cooked it, and me (as a joke) said “What happens if we eat it?” The DM rolled his eyes and decided that if we eat it, we gain two intelligence.
Okay but that last one sounds neat for a fighter subclass!
So when you would choose fighting styles, you can choose weapon masteries that you "know" as well.
We were playing a Destiny version of D&D. My character was pretty much made of glass and so I was just running around the enemy (which was a hive knight) taking shots at it when I could. My friend was going head to head with it. He dropped his war hammer, and I had my companion teleport it to the roof of the cave and dropped the hammer on top of the enemy and did about a quarter of its health in damage. Dm didn’t let me do it again, but I’m still proud that i physicsed my way into doing a lot of damage.
Hive knight got killed by the architects lmao
Did a one shot where we were these over-the-top heroes (think MMPR meets Sailor Moon) and we were all about the power of teamwork, friendship, etc. So instead of one of us rolling a 20, the five of us would each roll a 4. And we would roll the dice together at the count of 3 and say the name of the team as we let go: "WORLD'S TOUGHEST FIGHTERS!!!"
Yes. We were "WTF".
I got my dm to give me ( a tabaxi rouge)some “ murder mitten kitten crunch” it gives me a barbarian rage but for Dex and I love it😂
The year is 2022, my new group and I are playing our very first campaign in our homebrew world of Mir (mer). The campaign revolves around a quest from the king to escort a baby Red Dragon (Zephyr) (Note: scale color does not determine morality) and his Kobold attendant (Scratch) back to their home in a mountain range on the other side of the country after a magical mishap saw them teleported to the capital. Basically, the distance between Oregon and Massachusetts. Thing is, this Kobold had a bit of an attitude problem and a superiority complex, leading him to cause no small amount of trouble for the party. Over the course of our journey, he started no less than two tavern brawls, pissed off a woman who turned out to be a very temperamental adult Black Dragoness, got us kicked off a riverboat and got us on the bad side of a notable mercenary group whom we almost persuaded to aid us on our quest. Having finally had enough of the shenanigans, our suspiciously Kratos-like Goliath Storm Herald decides to try talking to Scratch about his behavior. "Look, I understand you think yourself of a high position due to your duty, and I understand how you must feel, having been separated from home and kin. But your antics aren't helping us get you and your young charge home sooner." "That sounds like a YOU problem." "It's an US problem, Scratch, the more people whose ire you draw against us, the more danger you put baby Zephyr into. You must learn to behave better and set a better example for the young one!" "And what are you gonna do if I don't, big boy?" That was the last straw. "I kneel down, grab the Kobold, bend him over my knee, AND SPANK HIM UNTIL HIS ASS TURNS RAW!" The DM is so flabbergasted, he doesn't know what rolls to make. So, he decides "Fuck it! You spank the Kobold, drawing the attention of the rest of the camp as the sounds of smacking flesh and Koboldish agony fade into the night!" The rest of the table began roaring with laughter and, needless to say, Scratch the Kobold was very well behaved for the rest of the campaign!
Was dealing with a hostage situation on the second floor of some building. Me and another player were at the door across the room and the baddies demanded a rare artifact we had in exchange for the person. Had had Vortex Warp, which can teleport a willing person. So I just teleported the guy and we, quite literally just Peeporun. Like, I literally said that to the DM. Of course they chased us. One of the baddies turned into a giant spider thing. But every turn was just "We peeporun." It was hilarious and I kind of felt bad for our DM because I felt like it was supposed to be a much more serious moment. But like, nah, we out.
letting the rogue use gauntlets and boots enchanted with grease and adhesion. he turned into a gecko, ever unaffected by gravity and the most annoying spotter for the dm to deal with.
we used telepathy, shared vision and long range spells to form a magic artillery squad.
the divination minotaur was happy, the artillerist centaur was happy, the evocation tabaxi was happy.
the dm gave up at some point and grabbed stronger encounters against our "nuke rushes"
A rare story about the campaign with my first DM. Our party had just finished fighting some Ettercaps in the jungle, and we were suddenly surrounded by amazon warrior women. As they started yelling at us for being intruders and how they'd kick us out for killing their pets if they didn't kill us first, I had decided my best option as a battle-weary combatant was to offer a Pirates of the Caribbean reference, "Parley?" Against all likelihood that jungle warriors would be familiar with the word or concept, without any roll they stared at each other and escorted us to their city to speak with their chief.
After that, the DM went back to his usual toxicity, the male party members were escorted to the mines and railroaded to work offscreen during our stay, while the female party members were escorted to the palace to be treated lavishly. My *male* elf ranger was escorted into the women's group, not because he was the one that requested to meet with the leader, but because lmao the average elf man is a twink lol. A description that stuck to the character for the rest of the campaign, even after the DM ragequit and a player took over.
4:21 Snake oil salesmen _wish_ that they could be this devious!!
9:49 that actually sounds like a fun idea for a one shot campaign because of all the chaos that could bring. Might have to note my group about that.
The one time I got to crit on a 9+.
Buckle up.
Context:
So I'm running a spellsword in a Pathfinder 1e campaign w/ house rules.
My character is a Magus, a spellsword class that can combine both halves of the "gish" style on the level of action economy. Spellstrike lets you proc an attack-roll spell off of a weapon swing, and Spell Combat lets you take a penalty on attack rolls to cast a spell as part of your Full-Attack rotation (Pathfinder's equivalent to the Extra Attack feature).
I took two archetypes (an optional feature I can best compare to subclasses in 5e) - Bladebound (trades away a few levelup milestones for a free sentient magic item, and offloads some of the resource progression to it) and Kensai (leans the class further into its martial half at the cost of armor proficiency, and hyperspecializes for a specific weapon type of your choice).
Default Pathfinder 1e has a few rules regarding critical hits that 5e does not. First off, all attacks have a critical threat *range,* which is basically the numbers on die where your attack counts as a critical threat, usually listed based on the lowest number in that list (e.g. 20 only for most weapons, 19+ for most swords). I chose a scimitar for my magic item and weapon specialty, which threatens a critical hit on 18+, the widest a critical threat range can go on just the weapon alone.
Why "critical threat" and not "critical hit"? Because there's *also* a rule stating that, when your natural roll falls inside your attack's critical threat range, you need to roll the attack again to "confirm the critical hit" - if you succeed that critical confirmation roll, *then* you get the bonus damage. Rest assured, a nat20 is still an autohit.
Pathfinder also has a few feats and rules that are balanced for that setup, including Critical Focus for a bonus specifically to critical confirmation, and Improved Critical to double the crit range of any one weapon type.
The GM for the campaign I'm currently in seems to be a Monty Hall GM who does not like critical confirmation, and has a house rule in play saying that critical hits automatically confirm.
I had to discuss with him for a bit regarding the effects of Critical Focus (a feat directly impacted by this house rule, and which he admits he forgot was a thing), and he proposed a rework to Critical Focus under his house rule: pick a weapon group (as per the Fighter's weapon training feature), and add 1 to the critical threat range of all weapons therein.
Apparently this +1 to critical threat range occurred *before* Improved Critical.
So I took Critical Focus to boost my scimitar's crit range to 17+. Combine that with the scimitar getting an extra +1 to threat range from Kensai-specific features that were *also* impacted by the house rule (bringing it to 16+), another +1 via a gift from the GM for exploration (bringing it to 15+), and Improved Critical to *double* it...
Yeah, that's a stupid amount of crits.
Granted, as of this comment, we're currently level 11.
*But that's still a stupid amount of crits.*
Recently I’ve been playing a bardlock who has both a rhythm makers drum and a rod of the pact keeper. Issue is I cannot hold both at the same time. But I had an idea to turn them into one object. Another party member has wood worker and tinkerer tool proficiency so I asked him to make the bits to turn my drum and stick into a hammer. With a few good roles I can now smack someone in the face with a drum while receiving boosts to both types of spells
Goblin Artificer. I was given a rifle while we were in a trench fighting the enemy kingdom. Due to some backstory and role play, a fey gifted me the ability to use wild magic. After imbuing a bullet with wild magic I shot it at the enemy trench. These enemies were incredibly strict, so strict that our DM told us we saw a soldier drop his rifle and he was shot before he could pick it up. After rolling an incredible nat 20 I shot this man in the head and killed them instantly. Roll on the wild magic table, 73. 73 is cast *Fear*. Not only does it make anyone who fails the wisdom saving dc DROP THEIR ITEM it has a 20ft radius. 19 soldiers fail the DC and try to run resulting in their immediate demise. After that incredibly lucky shot I was awarded a medal of bullshit luck.
Not dnd but, Taking the helmet off of an armor stand and hiding in plain sight despite wearing a shark themed Hawaiian Vacation shirt ( long story )
in our Phandelver adventure for some reason we convinced some poor people that our monk, who was more than happy to turn actual bad guys into pulp, but otherwise was just a chill dude, was an actual avatar of Amaunator, and our Necromancer was... a bishop of his church
this was early in the campaign and lasted for nearly a year, the more we played it out the more people believed
and yes, we took over a year to play out Phandelver, but I bet you already understand why
Swimming or acting as entire boat motor to cross from one island and into the next being a variant human 😂
I had a large table with a WallFlower Player. She was happy to chip in a little RP now and again when the mood struck her, but hung back in most combats. To get her more involved, I gave her a rapier that, no more than once a day (I'm only a little insane) could do damage to an enemy's CON score. Not full damage, but halved to avoid exactly what occurred anyway. She built her character around this weapon, sinking all her feats into expanding Crit range and output. By campaign's end, she could crit on a 15 or better and dealt 4-times damage.
She never abused the ability and had great thematic sense, for which I am ever thankful, because every. single. time. she stepped up, whoever she bared her blade too died in a single attack with a harsh one-liner. Goblin boss shrieking at the fighter? "Still that vile tongue." Deathknight beating the brakes off the paladin? "He's not a drum, you ignorant knave." Flesh Golem that just punted the druid? "A slash in time saves nine."
At the end of the campaign, we had an epilogue section to close out the characters. A sort of 'what happens next' answer. She decided she was marrying all the wives she'd accumulated over the journey which included her half-elf/dwarf housekeeper, a construct who loved to bake, a princess she accidentally rescued, and two dragons. [Don't look at me like that, I'm just the DM] and since the whole party had come together (we rarely had the whole table at a session due to IRL scheduling) I figured the BBEG deserved an encore.
He came, he monologued. He was stabbed through the heart as the player teleported just close enough to impale him. The damage count was enough to give him a negative CON greater than he started with. Even before damage was dealt, this poor wizard's new CON had him at negative HP. "This event is invitation only."
And then blasted him with a Disintegration Ray she'd been saving for months.
It was a much better ending than I could have planned. Baronet Caspian Blackthorne, 'He of Five Wives', was an excellently played character.
I always give my players a portent 20 for the session following their birthdays. We just so happen to run a one shot on the birthday of one of them. He played a bard. I ran some basic DM’s guild module that looked fun, it was essentially a puzzle/combat tower with 10 levels. On the 10th level, there was a sleeping adult red dragon. I believe it had a key around its neck they opened the final door. The rouge proceeded to roll 31 to sneak up to the dragon, 33 to snag the key, then 31 again to sneak away, not waking the dragon at all. The party was ready to finish up and exit the tower, but the bard birthday boy said “I WANT TO FUCK THAT DRAGON” since it was just a one shot, I said “okay, but only if you roll a nat 20”. He rolled a 12, but used that birthday portent. We didn’t even wrap it up cause we laughed about it for the rest of the night. Still comes up as a joke every once in a while.
Air strike. The flying monk dropped the barbarian on top of the evil wizard.
Dude tamed the bandits with a rod of command
This was a Rifts/Megaverse thing, but I think it still fits here:
Having come into possession of a Robotech Factory (after already having enough personnel to operate it) and then putting it into an Earth-Moon Lagrange Point, I had begun designing various weapons and spacecraft that were to be first used in a conflict with the Mechanoids.
The unhinged magnum opus of the stuff I designed was the "Chimera" Synchro Veritech, which was effectively a VF-1S Super Veritech with four Synchro Cannons mounted onto it; two were on the front of the booster pack, and two were mounted on the arms. The reason for creating such an abomination (and promptly mass-producing it) was that the statistics given for the hover-platform-mounted Synchro Cannon consisted of a 50 foot beam diameter and literally infinite damage. The reason for mounting four of them on each craft was to offset the relatively slow rate of fire that each cannon had.
My most memorable Gelatinous Cube story was running into one for the first time in Moria (an old roguelike) back in the 90s. I was 10-ish, maybe a bit younger, and, despite generally reading well above my grade level, misread it as "Celatinous Gube". I've been tempted to call them that every time I've heard them mentioned since.
The DM forgot my druid was at a meeting between the party’s face and the king we were working for, so I made a joke about rolling stealth to see how long it would take for the people at the meeting to notice me. The DM had me roll.
With a nat 20 not only I was the first person at the meeting, but I also stole the king’s sandwich and wasn’t actually noticed until after the meaning was over
Our party was trying to attack a slaver encampment, but we where on the other side of a lake, we could take the short way and risk the guard tower, or the long way and risk exhaustion (it would have taken all night) we where in a heated discussion until our druid and palidin both had the idea of just going across the lake, so we spend a few hours building a boat, and set off in the middle of night. Our druid needed to make a survival to just get across the lake and not sink the boat (most of us are heavy armor users with no ranks in swim) well lucky for us the druid roled a 20, and ended with like a 32 or somthing in total. The assult of the SS Penitrator was a wonderful success, and was the first blow that would topple that group of slavers
Ever watch a video and go "Huh, that sounds really familiar" and then go "OH THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S TALKING ABOUT ME!" Because that just happened.
I was the Shrek.
It was a Castlevania-esqe one-shot and we were fighting the final form of "not-Dracula".
I honestly can't believe some posted that story on reddit but damn if it doesn't bring back good memories.
My DM has a character named Indiana bones who smokes an absurd amount of blunts, and one of our party members has recently died. His player switched to his backup, which was a bard. I suggested he play bad to the bone because it would be funny, and he ended up rolling a natural 20. The DM decided that would summon Indiana Bones. We went up going into a bossfight, and Indiana bones was the actual reason we won the fight. He ended up getting the perfect blunt for every situation (he has 12 and which he gets is random) he rolled one that clones the user 3 times. Twice on the strongest party member. He also ended up teleporting the boss we were fighting (who was a reincarnated pc who had just died), with one of his blunts on the first one the boss used.
“I slap myself in the face.”
The table was surprised, but the DM let me roll for it. I took 7 damage.
Context: This was a PvP Battle Royale oneshot where everyone was encouraged to kill each other. I tried to not do that, which resulted in a voice entering my character’s head to try and tempt him. My solution? Hit myself. It ended up working, even though I took well over 100 damage in the same turn from stray magic attacks.
Not D&D
Was playing a noghri slicer (hacker) in a Star Wars RPG campaign. We had to infiltrate an imperial ship. I hacked in and vented the atmosphere before we EVA traveled to the bridge and cut in from the outside. Over a thousand unprepared Imperials got spaced or simply died by asphyxiation.
At the end of the session, the DM threw out several pages of possible encounters we COMPLETELY bypassed.
We were exploring an ancient city built way up high. We're on a path/staircase/thing that arced betweem two buildings, and it started to crumble under us.
Everyone else starts booking it.
I cast Spider Climb on myself, walked onto the underside of the path (which the DM had said was smooth), and used it like a slide with reversed gravity.
Aa a finishing touch, I used my phone to play the slide theme from Super Mario 64 while the sequence happened.
Ive talked about it before on here, but I was in an EXTREMELY broken homebrew Tyranny of Dragons campaign during the pandemic. I was playing a warlock with a backstory of "trained whole life to be a cleric, his god lost his soul while gambling with Asmodeus". One of my favorite character concepts. I did something very dumb that led to an amulet of the pheonix exploding in my hands, catching me on fire and killing my character. The DM messaged me after the session explaining that I would be reincartnated with some special abilities from the pheonix amulet. The first thing i did was use the death clause in my warlock contract to end my pact, then we had to determine my new gender and race with the reincarnate (went from Male Copper Dragonborn to Female Teifling). After this i negotiated for some CRAZY abulities:
- Resistance to Fire
- Fire spells added to spell list (i was a life cleric)
- A summonable pheonix companion that used wildfire druid companion stats
- New death mechanics
(Instead of death saves, i would explode upon reaching 0hp, base level fireball equivalent. Then, in the center of that fireball, an egg would appear. It had 20 AC and 10 HP. If it was destroyed, I would permanently die. Otherwise, I was reincarnated in 1d4 days. The race was random from a list of fire related options, and of course gender was also random)
In exchange for all of that, I lost a level. I then convinced the DM of allowing range of touch spells to automatically succeed if I was grapling the target. From then on I would cast create bonfire on myself at the start of combat, then I would grapple an enemy, catching them on fire as well, and cast inflict wounds with my highest available spell slot.
Later on, there was a black market shop with armor of Fire Resistance. The DM had it that double resistance = immunity. I didnt have enough money though, so i went in the backroom with the shopkeeper and convinced him (I had a weird god that was fine with this kind of stuff)
3:46 dragon fucking I did not expect
Any time I try something goofy in DnD, I always fail the roll. Every time.
I'm the Dm and I allowed one of my players to roll and find a "cool rock" They rolled an 18 and found a pretty cool rock.
The next few sessions after, said player would ask "why do I have a 'cool rock' in my inventory?"
It is now gonna be a pivotal item for the future of the game
My party was by an old ruined building with four towers. The DM described it as falling apart. Me, the rogue, asked if I could climb up the tower and onto the wall. The DM said the wall was smooth and it would be almost impossible to climb. I said I would try anyway and rolled the d20. I got a natural 20 and the DM described how I just hugged the wall and slid right up.
The dumbest thing my DM lets me get away with is probably a running gag in our Star Wars game, my B1 medic has been terrible at stealth but my DM lets me roll for my dumb jokes and I succeed by a good bit every time, fun part is I have +3 dex and +2 charisma (and no relevant proficiencies) so the dice gods just seem to really enjoy this gag, only one to fail to hide from tie fighters flying overhead in a field, pretend to be a rusty scarecrow, knock something over trying to sneak up on a probe droid, play dead in the scrap pile of clone wars tech, only one to fail to sneak up on a imperial strong hold pretend to be a door to door vacuum sales man and distract the guards long enough for the party to sneak up and hold them all at various combinations of blaster and light saber point, so we can question them, I love this game and I'm glad my DM just rolls with the stupid jokes I make when I mess up
Freeing a level 20 former PC from their petrification situation that was just supposed to be there as a quick chuckle and nod.
Long story short, I was given an item I could turn into a universal solvent at risk of bad things happening. I rolled well and freed this NPC when we were still around level 3. Then he was the sort to pledge loyalty for a life debt so all of the combats became a joke until we just as accidentally killed him in a huge explosion a dozen sessions down the line. 🤷
4:27 deck of illusions, maybe? It's an item in 5th edition DM guide.
For me, it was accidentally knocking over the cage where he kept his pet mouse. The mouse was okay, though.
Kender definitely sound like a nuisance to work with, but do wonders for any DM that likes to see their players explore every corner of the town/dungeon they make! There's got to be some middle ground to help reign them in. Maybe playing as a paladin with some kind of code that runs somewhat in opposition to their nature, so that they don't feel as compelled to dig up every grave in a haunted town, for example.
By all means, be brave and explore, but understand caution, prepare accordingly, and consider likely consequences.
9:30 Similar to this, we were playing Rolemaster and one player wanted to use the body proportions charts she found in a book. By random chance, her character ended up with massive breasts. This became an ongoing joke throughout the entire campaign.
The "Pokeball" like item is from Griffon's Saddle Bag. A supplementary book of magic items, but it doesn't work like in that one story.
Are you sure they didn't think the barbarian was a god?🤣🤣🤣
Andanil certainly sounds like a badaxe.
My dm let me shove people and creatures in to my bag of holding. I emased an army of over 100 goblins. And they where all alive whilst in the bag to. They got so traumatised that they obeyed my every command, and i used them in battle frequently.
I was part of a group who did a bunch of connected one shots during college (this is how I started playing). One day, my Half orc vengeance paladin and and a monk named Mike Tython where the only ones who were playing, and our quest was simple; rescue a noble from a hoard of kobalds. We found their lair and were about to commit various war crimes against them when the dm told us that the kobalds had sick shades so for the sun. I ask my dm, can I hire them ( I had 40k gold due to some dead dragons, robing a town of a-holes during a festival, and selling a ship I had claimed as my own after killing a wizard pirate captain at a crazy mark up). I was told to roll persuasion at disadvantage. Double nat 20. I was escorted to the kobalds king and signed a contract to employ all the kobalds as my own personal army. The dm had planed the session to take a few hours, it took us 20 minutes. We did another dungeon crawl immediately afterwards. But the best part is my dm then worked with me and the other people who dmed our one shots to create a system for my kobalds army.
Me the DM let my players get away with naming a city in the forest "Forest City" I decided that the elves that live there never really gave it a name so travelers gave it that as a placeholder I may change it to "forest city" but in elvish
got to say of all the ones I had probably my cleric of law. 3.5 did not require clerics to be dedicated to a deity you could be dedicated to a domain. So I was a Lawful Nuetral cleric of law. Basically think Judge dread mixed with Matt Murdock. I could be judge jury and executioner if needed but mostly was a lawyer. practically every single time a group of bandits of the BBEGs goons showed up the game got bogged down in legal proceedings.
Not sure if this counts as goofy, but our DM let us start a religious war and invent christmas to fuel said war. The campaign took place in the sword coast. The city of Neverwinter was under siege by an army of orcs, and the party was helping fend of the orcs. During a mission to learn more about the movements of the orcs, we learned that the orcs was split in to internal factions, one who worshipped Talos and one who worshipped Gruumsh. The two factions didn't get along, and we had a bard/wizard multiclass member who also worshipped Talos. We got into contact with the Talos orcs and convinced them into starting an religious civil war with the Gruumsh orcs. Later, we had to leave the city to investigate a plot of Zuggtmoy that was happening simultaneously to the siege. The city was surrounded by orcs, so a couple of wizards from the local wizard tower along the partys' wizards cast fly on a bunch of donkeys and a barrel of alcohol tied to said donkeys. One member road the barrel while the rest road the donkeys, and we flew over the orcs. On the way, someone began to shout "Praise Talos" and "Happy Talosmas" and other catchphrase that Santa uses. Someone else cast prestidigitation and other spells to as special effects, and the orcs began fighting each other. Our DM laughed about it and declared we had invented the local equivalent to christmas.
The it is the year 2024 the artificer loaded his steel defender with about as much gunpowder as it could carry gave it a match and told it to run towards my character and detonate when with in five feet i died it was great. for context after returning from a fetch quest for the bbeg (Which I was single handedly responsible for) they had betrayed me and the bbeg
I shot my fighter’s sword out of his hand. We were playing a little nightmares themed game and were in a supermarket specifically the clothing section. I was a Yuan-Ti rogue atop a GIANT clothing rack and thought it’d be funny…well the fighter eventually got to the top of the rack and threw me off if it…I died, and was shocked my short bow managed the shot even though I died. this was my second (now failed) campaign with this table.
The rack was 60 feet tall and we were level one.
not the goofiest but fun anyway.
we were hand cuffed and had to escape somehow, i had in session one if can i do somantic components with my trunk (i was playing a loxodon wizard) he allowed it. so with my trunk free i decided to cast fireball on the enemies. and blow up the distellery we were captured in.
fun times
I'm going to be straight here. I know that kender players have a certain stereotype, but that second to last story seems less of a kender problem and more of a the DM didn't plan this very well problem. Any character with a certain combination of character traits could have done the same thing and the DM could have sat down with the players and explain why they didn't want them to do this. I don't think it's very fair to blame the fact that the player was playing a kender for this. The players also followed the Kender in, so by the DM's logic, they share the blame too.
My dnd group enter a maze but the maze was different for everyone so me some how having a +7 in intimidation I rolled to intimidate the maze to get in the same maze as are wizard he said it would have to be a 20 or higher i rolled a 15 so I intimidated the maze so much I ended up with the wizard
As the dm letting the party make a machine to literally infuse potions into their boat. They had to travel across half of the world. Soo they got a few speed potions and well wings to attach to the boat.So what did they do? Stack the speed potions times 5 and by sheer speed flew across the world in a day. During the whole process I had to play the king k rool theme. It was sooo unexpected but I ain’t punishing outside the box thinking (It should have taken 10 days btw) And this is only the start I am interested in what other crazy idea this Potion infusion machine spawns
Also forgot to mention the npcs that saw them coming at mark 5. They were shitting themselves. Now there is a rumour of a flying ship in my campaign. And no one knows who did unless your are my party
Current dnd game last season our team is on a hiest mission we some how manage to kill the casino manager and not gets security notified don't get me wrong it was veary close like he had literally picked up the sending stone to notify security and we kill him before he could send the message then sneak into the security office our bard convinces them to lock themselves into the cells of the security office we forget to get the keys from them the bearacade them in the cells my character Goliath Barbarian with 4 HP and completely spent stays back to ensure the security stays in the cells while the rest of the team takes nearly everything from the vault but not enough to get noticed by staff security starts to try and break out of the cells we trapped them in as the team returns with an animated skeleton of a menitor security then decides they should just stay in the cells make our way to the out realized there was still a task we needed to do which was to get an idol make our way other there me being Barbarian and fully spent for the day it was unamiasly decided that i should wait halfway between there and our exit our dwarf tinkerer though not spent decided they should be with me because slower movement speed paladin and bard make a scene while casting minor illusion and fighter takes idol fast enough to not set off alarm with bag of holding and wr all leave successfully competing the mission stealing 5,000 gold 1 idol 1 Doom Helm 1 cloak of billowing 2 crossbows 5 pikes a few other magic items 4 rings worth 100gp each we get to keep all the magic items and other items we got the 5,000GP and Idol was for the mission and we all got payed 100gp each oh and we had to return the bag of holding because it wasn't ours to begin with next season we have to figure out a smuggling option the city guards have and try to save our house from being torn down and built into condos
300± damage
"Triple Disadvantage"? Yeeeaaaaah, sounds like 90% of that game was homebrew already. That roll would be disadvantage and at +4 AC. Not that difficult, actually.
📦🧊